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ambrosiagourmet · 3 months

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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers

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devotedlystrangewizard · 3 months

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gnawing on corrin fire emblem

#ramblings #oh corrin. if only your game was good.#someone who grew up as sheltered as corrin did ending up witnessing the worst humanity has to offer could be so interesting #HELL. CORRIN WITNESSING THE HORRORS AND STILL THINKING THOSE COMMITTING THE HORRORS CAN BE HELPED #ALWAYS BELIEVING PEOPLE ARE GOOD #a person sticking to their ideals so strongly until they truly do make the world a better place is compelling #its just that fates doesnt know what character development is #or character depth. could you imagine corrin losing someone close to them on the battlefield #being dragged away kicking and screaming. unwilling to believe they actually lost someone #having to live with the fact that EVERYONE in that army. is basically sworn to die for them should the need arise #their siblings? nieces/nephews? friends caretakers their fucking spouse ANYONE. would die before them #because theyre the main character. if you play on classic corrin dying is a gameover #theyre at the heart of the army and they barely even know how war works #corrin hardening over time but still sticking to their ideals. no matter what #sorry im writing fates fic to fill the niles-shaped hole in my heart and the dynamic of hopeful idealist/pessimistic realist #is getting to me #something really fun about corrin breaking and making characters like niles attempt to comfort them #their supports are mostly just 'tell me ur sad backstory' 'lol sure' BUT NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND PROPERLY #forcing niles into being a character instead of a caricature since 2016. jesus fucking christ hes gonna be on my mind forever #niles struggling with a genuine relationship. because he cant really comprehend unconditional kindness. but trying. bc he loves them #these two are on my mind again i love them (the version of them in my head)

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abowlofpetuniasandawhale · 1 year

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as someone who just kind of intuitively knows how to care for people thanks to years of personal and professional experience honing that skillset, it's soooo frustrating every time I find myself needing the same treatment from others and being reminded that actually it's a rare and highly specialized skill. I genuinely cannot communicate the despair of knowing exactly what i need and also knowing I'm completely on my own until my one 55-minute-hour of biweekly therapy because we've entirely professionalized basic emotional support.

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invisiblerhythmcat · 1 year

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oh ok

guess I'm not doing anything tonight

#my partner decided to post on tumblr after months of not saying anything #and not even talking to me #on one of the accounts that I hadn't unfollowed yet #and apparently they're doing horribly #so now I feel like the evil non-disabled partner who dropped them when things got hard #and like I'm not allowed to be happy that things are finally going well in my life #after basically putting all of my needs and desires on hold for three years for them #like how dare i do better without them when they continue to suffer #and yeah i'm disabled but not as disabled as them so clearly i should just keep doing that #just fuck everything #i struggle to talk about this because there's no way for people to understand how incredibly fucked they are #without me sharing a lot of their personal medical stuff #so everyone thinks it's just Oh crappy noncommunicative partner demanding too much from me #and that's not it #but also it is?#I don't know where to draw the line and I'm tired of feeling guilty #but I'm also sick of being a caretaker instead of a partner and the things I can actually do #and basically just fuck everything I wish I hadn't had to deal with that #also the goncharov stuff is stressful as fuck #because people used to do shit like that to make fun of me #so maybe I should just live on this tumblr and avoid my main tumblr where there's just so much fucking danger #asdlfjkadshdfa #maybe I'm selfish but I just...#I'm so close to finally being ok and I don't want to feel guilty about that #and yet I do #asdfjlahflasdfads

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gender-euphowrya · 2 years

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playing we happy few lately and Damn i should have played this sooner

#it’s not perfect by any means but still i’m HOOKED #like the gameplay’s alright just ye ol’ run around doing quests upgrade your dude do some stealth w/e #nothing that hasn’t been done before except maybe the like #‘blending in’ stuff where you have to act and dress a certain way to fit the situation otherwise you get beat up #but it’s mostly the story that’s getting me like Basically #you’re bri’ish and the uk once lost a war to germany and then every child in the uk was sent away to germany #the people complied because the germans threatened them with tanks so they willingly surrendered their kids #germans never explained what would happen to the kids & all #everyone felt super guilty and depressed about this whole thing But around the same time a drug called joy was introduced #and it basically just… makes you happy and productive and induces memory loss #So joy was pushed on the population as like The Thing You Must Take and now everyone’s just hooked on it #forced to take it. don’t remember the children. happily swallowing any propaganda about the war.#now there’s people who either refuse to take joy or can’t handle it and they’re shunned and left to die in wastelands #Anyway. you’re a guy who had a disabled brother you were basically the caretaker of who was sent away to germany #and you were supposed to go with him too but No Spoilers you didn’t and you feel fucking bad about it so #you set out to find him or at least learn what happened to him and as you’ve stopped taking joy you start remembering more about your past #and Oh it’s. i wanna know more i wanna discover what happened to the kids and to the brother #who’s behind the joy shit maybe what state other countries are in #Also. why nobody in the entire fucking country has had new children since…. i mean god dam #there are No Kids at all did people forget how to fuck too #that’s not sustainable for the population bro shinzo abe would have hated this game

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iicheeze · 1 year

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Genshin SAGAU except Reader is a lore fanatic

cw: lore dump, archon quest spoilers, side quest spoilers, etc

“ guys did u know that the Sea Ganoderma is actually souls of children who died young trapped and is forced to spend generations absorbing elements from the sand and sea as the form of punishment?? ” “ what the fuck your grace. ” Tighnari muttered.

“yelan, i know where u got ur jacket. ” “ o- oh, really, Your Grace? ” Yelan stuttered, sweat dropping. “ Yeah, i know u stole it from a Fatui Harbinger that was supposed to be a gift for the Tsaritsa and made some 'adjustments' to make it fit your style. ” you stated with a smirk, while yelan tries to hold in her cries because you rlly are a Divine Being, knowing everything about Teyvat.

Archon quest spoilers down ahead

“ Guys, I have a theory that the upside down Statue of the Seven and city the Traveler and Paimon saw are actually the correct way and that proves it because when I took a walk at Spiral Abyss when I went down I expected it to be pitch black but instead I'm met with the galaxy sky and a moon and possibly, Khaenri 'ah and Enkanomiya are the ones that are actually in the surface, while Teyvat is underground and yknow what? Scaramouche is RIGHT. The stars are fake the sky is fake everything is fake as we know of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ” your maniacal laughter echoed through the Akademiya as many Researchers are baffled by this amount of information

“ Alhaitham, do you have a second? ” “ Of course, Your grace. What is it? ” “ Are you the Scarlet King ” “ ........ excuse me ”

“ WELL i noticed that the color of your eyes matches the Scarlet King's eyes, and your boots matches the color of the buildings of the Scarlet King's Civilization. A blue gem appeared when the Scarlet King sacrificed himself and it kinda looked like the gems at your back. And when you do your burst it looks REALLY similar to the Primal Constructs’ attacks, and the Primal Constructs are what's left of the Scarlet King's civilization. And at your chest it looks like it has the wings of an eagle, and your name literally means young eagle. What does this have to do with the Scarlet King? Well, at the Dunes I've ventured, I've seen murals and a figure with a bird head and it could possibly be the Scarlet King but it strangely reminded me of you!!! Plus, you know how to use the devices made by the Scarlet King, whereas the books and researchers at the Akademiya shows no information on how to properly use them. Pretty suspicious...... ”

and then theres alhaitham sweating his balls off on how the hell did you get that information.

“ guys, did you know that when Enkanomiya was plunged deep into the ocean, they created a fake sun called Helios to survive, right??? But actually, the nobles wanted more power. They wanted a puppet or ruler that they could easily control or manipulate. And WHO WOULD MAKE A GOOD CANDIDATE??? THAT'S RIGHT! A CHILD. AND THUS, BEGIN THE REIGN OF THE SUNCHILDREN. They were young and ignorant, obviously easy to be deceived and lied to. They were manipulated to commit heinous deeds. The first Sunchild was deceived to imprisoning his role model for life, aka isolated from everyone. The sunchildren were DESPISED by their own people, EVEN THE CARETAKERS ARENT ALLOWED TO SPEAK TO THEM. Knowing that the Sunchildren could realize that they were being manipulated, the nobles then introduced Rite of Solar Return. Now what the hell is a Rite of Solar Return??? Basically, when a Sunchild hits a certain age, they will be taken into the inner sanctum of Helios. The artificial Sun's high temperature could AND WOULD incinerate them alive!!!!! AND SOMEHOW, SOME HAVE SIMILARITIES WITH OUR CURRENT ARCHONS!!! Orupeusu had a talent for the lyre, aka the Anemo Archon. Risutaiosu made lifelike sculptures, like the Electro Archon. And Isumenasu would roam his country, AND EVEN HAD A SPEAR LIKE THE GEO ARCHON AT HIS GRAVE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I AM A GENIUS ”

the fact that people would still listen to your rants about Teyvat but still be concerned about your mental health is hilarious

if you werent the Divine Being of All, they would've locked you up where no one can find you, you know

Dottore would like you tho

so that's good

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bangtanflirt · 7 months

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(Un)natural Instincts (Part 9)

*Series taglist is closed.

angst, fluff, smut

Pairings: OT7 x Fem Reader, Human CEO Reader, Human Assistant Yoongi, Wolf Hybrids Joon, Jin, Hobi, Jimin, Tae, and Kook.

Basic premise: You and your assistant end up rescuing six wolf hybrids. No part of the process is easy.

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3 > Part 4 > Part 5 > Part 6 > Part 7 > Part 8 > Part 9 > Part 10

General Warnings: Hybrid abuse and lab experimentation, hybrids as second-class citizens/owned property (Minors DNI, 18+ content)

Specific Warnings: injury involving blood, toxic workplace conversations, one nonsexual bathing scene, very brief conversation around Hoseok's eating habits

____

Jungkook wakes up in the middle of the night, jolted out of sleep by the figure trembling against his body. He looks down at Taehyung, whose face is etched in terror. Distressed whimpers spill from his lips, quiet pleas of “please no” as his nightmares get more and more intense. The wolf tries to pull his packmate closer, tightening his grip to stop the shaking, but it doesn’t do much. He switches tactics, opting to whisper calming words in the man’s ear instead.

“You’re alright hyung. I’m here.”

He keeps repeating the last part, feeling powerless as his hyung’s whimpers turn into full-on sobbing. It’s Jimin who wakes up next, followed soon by the other two. All of them stare with wide, worry-filled eyes as Taehyung struggles against Jungkook’s chest.

Namjoon turns on the lamp, looking around when he sees one less person in bed.

The oldest wolf is nowhere in sight, and the bathroom light isn’t on either.

But there’s no time to wonder about Jin—not when Taehyung’s claws shoot out of from his fingertips, scratching frantically until he’s fully out of Jungkook’s grasp. The feeling of real skin underneath his nails is enough to drag him back to consciousness, eyes now open and processing his surroundings.

Blood.

Claw marks.

His Koo with a pained expression.

It all comes into focus one by one.

“Koo…I’m so sorry…I-I didn’t mean—”

“Shh, it’s okay hyung, it’s alright.” He’s flinching as the wounds sting against his skin.

Jimin swiftly acts, digging through the bedside drawers until he finds the first-aid kit. He carefully peels the bloody shirt off of Jungkook before working on the wounds, holding the pup’s hands as the iodine burns hot against broken flesh.

Namjoon and Hoseok focus on calming Taehyung down, turning him away from the stressful scene to look at them instead.

“Bad dream, huh pup?”

Taehyung nods, tears still pooling around his eyes, “Yes Alpha.”

Hoseok pulls him in close, “You don’t need to tell us about it if you don’t want to.”

Taehyung nods meekly.

Most of the nightmare is a blur, but there are parts he remembers clear as day: the researchers laughing with each strike on his heels…Jimin on the side laughing with them, delighted to see him mess up his duties once again.

Hit him harder. He’s just slowing the pack down. Useless mutt.

Taehyung cringes as Jimin’s voice rings in his ear, so crisp as if it happened in real life.

“I’m so sorry Koo.” He still doesn’t look back, facing Hoseok while apologizing.

“It’s okay hyung, it happens.”

“Are you okay? Should I help?”

Jimin interjects, “I’ve got this Tae, just focus on calming down for now.”

It’s an innocent statement, but anything out of the other caretaker’s mouth is enough to irk Taehyung at the moment.

“I am calm.” He snaps.

The cold front between the two wolves is still as icy as ever, and only Namjoon has it in him to say something.

“That’s not the tone we use to talk to our packmates, Tae.”

“Sorry Alpha.”

“Apologize to Jimin too.”

The wolf bites the inside of his cheek, reluctantly looking back and forcing an apology through gritted teeth.

“Sorry Jimin hyung.”

“It’s okay. You’re just tired.”

Everyone knows that’s a lie.

___

The wolves finally find their oldest the next morning, curled up on the living room sofa with an open book as his pillow. He stirs awake at the sound of feet shuffling in, looking up and realizing he fell asleep while reading.

“You look adorable” Hoseok smiles, “Did you come out here because you couldn’t sleep again?”

Jin nods, getting up and stretching out, body a little stiff after being contorted on the sofa.

“Came out to read, didn’t realize I fell asleep.”

“Looks like it worked, you look cozy snuggled up in that blanket.”

The remark brings the blanket to Jin’s attention. He doesn’t remember ever grabbing it last night, but here he is, wrapped around in the dark blue fabric.

“Don’t freak out, but there was a little accident.” Namjoon recounts what happened, watching Jin’s worried gaze go back and forth between Taehyung and Jungkook.

“I shouldn’t have left. I should’ve helped take care of them.” He groans in frustration.

“It’s okay hyung. We got it handled, and I’m sure we’re all glad you got some sleep.”

The rest nod in agreement, but Jin still holds a bit of guilt in his eyes.

“Is the wound really deep?”

Jungkook shakes his head, “No, it wasn’t even a lot of blood. It was my fault, I should’ve given him space instead of holding him closer.”

“It’s not your fault Koo, I lost control. It’s all me.”

“It’s no one’s fault. Now we know to give Tae his space if it ever happens again.”

“Exactly, thank you Jinnie” Namjoon holds out his hand to ruffle the older wolf’s head, glad to have someone like Jin help lead the pack. Jin tilts his head back, leaning into the touch. It’s instinctive when the Alpha dips down, meeting his packmate’s lips for a chaste peck on the lips.

The moment isn’t lost on anyone in the room. Such a simple, domestic peck that screams “I love you.” It’s a gesture that the two haven’t shared in over three months, but still feels as natural as ever now.

The sight has hope wriggling its way into Jimin’s heart.

Things are slowly going back to normal. Taehyung and I will go back too. Everything will be alright.

It’s the first time since they’ve entered the house that the hybrids slept in late, and the first time breakfast is already waiting for them. The caretaker hybrids can’t help but profusely apologize, which you dismiss immediately, telling them you’re glad they’re getting more rest. Namjoon almost tells you about how little they actually slept, but decides it better to keep your good mood intact.

Jin can’t help but glance over at Yoongi throughout breakfast, but thankfully no one, not even Yoongi, notices. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t understand why the man would bring him a blanket. He’s not his packmate, and he’s not someone Jin’s on the best terms with, so why?

It’s even more puzzling when the two of them reach for the last rolled omelet at the same time, and Yoongi retracts his chopsticks immediately.

“No please, take it. Humans first.” Jin says, pushing the plate towards the man.

The phrase causes a stare from both you and Yoongi, making Jin feel small.

“That’s not a thing here Jin.” You speak up.

“S-sorry.” He timidly takes the piece, watching to make sure Yoongi isn’t pissed off.

Yoongi’s response isn’t one Jin is prepared for,

“Do you like it?”

The hybrid nods.

Yoongi flashes the smallest smile, “It’s one of the few things I make well.”

Jin doesn’t know why, but his cheeks heat up as he bites into the omelet under Yoongi’s gaze.

___

“I’m really okay hyung.” Jungkook assures, holding his hands above his head as his packmate lifts his shirt off, stripping each piece of clothing until the youngest is fully bare.

“But I still feel bad, so let me take care of you pup.”

Jungkook doesn’t protest any further, getting into the bath and watching fondly as his packmate shakes off his clothes to do the same. He makes room as Taehyung sinks into the water behind him, pulling the younger one’s back flush against his chest.

Jungkook’s eyes flutter as Taehyung runs his fingers through his hair, carefully massaging his scalp with a decent amount of shampoo.

“Feel good Koo?”

“Mhmm, really good.”

Taehyung smiles at the way Jungkook gets lost in his touch, letting out low hums of contentment on occasion.

“Hyung”

“Yes Koo?”

“Was the nightmare really scary?”

Taehyung stiffens at the memory,

“It was.”

“Was it about the lab?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then no one in that nightmare can hurt you anymore. We’re far away from them, so don’t worry.”

Taehyung doesn’t answer, giving Jungkook’s hair a slight tug to get the boy lost back into the sensation—desperate to escape the conversation. It works, as Jungkook all but dozes off.

___

“You’ve been doing really well with eating Hobi, looking a lot healthier” you smile, curling up on the opposite side of the couch as him.

His face beams at the compliment, “Thank you!”

“I’m sure it’s been hard.”

“Sometimes,” he chuckles nervously, “it feels wrong to eat as much as everyone else. But I’m learning it’s not.”

“I’m really glad. Is there anything you need from me? I’m happy to help with anything.”

“Um…there is one thing…do you think you could take me out somewhere? I know you and Namjoon went for a walk, and he said it was really nice. But it’s okay if you’re too busy!” Your heart swells at the nervous request. If there’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s that Hoseok is the worst when it comes to asking you for things, so this is a big win in your book. You’re finally getting somewhere with him.

“I’m actually taking Taehyung to an art store after he washes up. If you want to tag along, we’d be more than happy to have you.”

“Yes yes yes!”

His enthusiasm has you almost laughing, but you catch yourself, not wanting him to think he’s being laughed at for saying something wrong.

“Can everyone go? It can be a group trip!”

You’re smile falters for a second, “As much as I’d like that, I don’t think I can take all six of you there at the same time.”

Hoseok understands, people wouldn’t exactly be happy at the sight of six wolf hybrids out and about—even if leashed.

“I get it.”

“Sorry sweetheart.”

“No no, it’s okay. Thank you for inviting me. Are you sure it’s okay, though? Even two wolves are enough to scare people.”

“Two should be fine, you leave worrying about all of that to me.”

As if on cue, Taehyung walks in, all giddy and ready to go out.

“Hobi’s joining us.”

Taehyung jumps in excitement, urging his hyung to go get ready quick so they can get there sooner.

The store is everything Taehyung could dream of and more, with every type of paint in every color imaginable lining the shelves. He’s like a kid in a candy store with the way he bounces around from aisle to aisle, and you’re sure that you would’ve lost him three seconds in if not for the leash.

“He’s really in his element” you laugh.

“Painting used to be his favorite thing in the world. There weren’t a lot of places that sold paint to us though, so we couldn’t indulge him like this. He’s in paradise right now.”

The statement makes you wonder how exactly they lived before all of this. You’ve seen news segments on hybrid communities, how they had their own currencies and hierarchies. Lower percentage hybrids were captured by humans and sold off pretty quickly, but the higher percentage ones found a way to create their own society.

Hoseok thinks back to those days too, reminiscing how good everything used to be. They were thankful everyday for the genetic lottery they had won—being not only wolf hybrids, but a high enough percentage for no human to ever try to capture them. His pack was truly the apex of their society, until humanity’s greed ripped it all from their hands. Now he’s here, on a leash with a head full of trauma that he can’t escape.

The cart fills up quick, partly because you tell him “get both” every time Taehyung asks you to choose between art supplies.

Everything’s going well until Taehyung’s excitement gets the better of him, accidentally knocking over a little boy in the canvas aisle. It’s a soft bump, but it does cause the boy, looking no older than twelve, to fall back. He’s shaking in fear as the wolf reaches out to give him a hand. Taehyung quickly realizes he’s not making the situation better and steps back, making himself small as he interlocks fingers with Hoseok. You step up to the front and offer your hand instead, pulling the boy up while making sure there’s no bruises or scrapes anywhere.

“So sorry about that, he’s just excited. Are you hurt?”

“It’s o-okay. I’m not h-hurt.”

“Excuse me, what the hell is going on?” A shrill voice asks, new figure emerging from the aisle over and yanking you away from the boy instantly.

It’s obvious she’s his mother, and you’re quick to explain the situation.

“If you can’t control your hybrids in public then you should leave them at home. My kid got hurt because of you.”

You put on your fake smile once again, trying to resolve this as quickly and quietly as to not make the hybrids anxious.

“He doesn’t look hurt anywhere Ma’am. I’ve apologized to him already, so I think it’s best we all continue with our shopping.”

She eyes you up and down, gaze lingering on your Prada purse and Gucci belt.

“Nonsense, your unruly wolf pushed my baby down. It’s only fair you compensate us.”

Taehyung grips Hoseok’s hand tighter, unable to believe he messed up again.

You scoff, understanding exactly what kind of person this mother was.

“Compensate? For a small incident where no one got hurt? You’re not making sense Ma’am.”

“If I say my kid is hurt, then he is. Unless you want a complaint sent to Hybrid Control, I would find a good amount to make it up to us.”

Both the hybrids lose color at the mention of Hybrid Control…Hybrid Control complaints gave the government authority to take away hybrids deemed “dangerous to society.” It’s a case by case situation, but a complaint against a 40% wolf would no doubt lead Taehyung to being caged up.

You’re aware of this too, as you quickly open your banking app at the mention of the authorities. It takes a second after the woman puts her information in your phone for you to recognize it.

“Gong Hye Sun…you’re not, by chance, wife of Ha-jun, are you?”

She raises a brow, “You know my husband?”

Your mouth twists into a different smile this time, going from fake nice to condescending in a second.

“I’m his boss. Shin Y/N, nice to meet you.”

That changes the conversation entirely. Hye Sun steps back, heart racing at realizing who she’s talking to. Shin Y/N. The name she’s heard a thousand times from her husband’s lips—the name that determined when his next bonus was, if he was on the newest projects, if he had a promotion lined up, and everything else that their family aspired for. She takes back her words at the speed of light.

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Sure you didn’t,” you roll your eyes “I hope you don’t carelessly threaten Hybrid Control in the future. It’s not cute. Transferred some pocket money because I’m feeling nice. Get the boy some ice cream or something. Now, if you’ll excuse us.”

You brush past her, Taehyung and Hoseok trailing with relieved expressions.

“Why do I always mess things up?” Taehyung sighs, locking his seatbelt in as you start the car.

“It was just an accident, Tae.” Hoseok assures, giving his hand a squeeze.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s an accident or not. I’m always the one causing trouble.”

“Relax darling, you’re a lot better than I was at twenty-three.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m not! You can google it once you get home. I was a real piece of work before I inherited the company. There’s probably five hundred articles of me embarrassing myself at parties or events. If you ever feel like a fuck-up, read those and you’ll feel better in no time.”

You spend the rest of the ride telling them about your past, prompting the youngest into bouts of laughter every time you mention a drunk partying fiasco. Taehyung doesn’t even realize that he’s too busy laughing to do his usual routine of mental degradation after a mistake.

___

The day goes by with everyone shuffling in and out of the study, watching in awe as Taehyung works in his element. He’s got all the reference pictures of your grandmother in front of him, doing rough sketches and beginning the underpainting process. It’s mesmerizing, seeing a new layer on the canvas every time you peek your head in. You do drag him out for lunch and dinner this time, telling him he can’t eat while painting.

It's when Jin is wiping down the dining table does Yoongi speak to him again.

“Hope you weren’t too cold last night. It was the only blanket I could find.”

Jin looks around paranoid, making sure his pack is too preoccupied to overhear Yoongi’s words. The man catches on quickly.

“You don’t want them to know?”

Jin keeps his eyes at the table, avoiding eye contact. All the hybrids had agreed to keep a united front, making sure to let you know that they’re on your side when it comes to you and Yoongi. It’s not much, but just keeping him company made Jin feel guilty…maybe because of just how much he liked it. It was nice to have a reading buddy. The only other packmate who likes to read is Namjoon, and he prefers to do it alone. It’s a simple thing, reading with someone else present, knowing you’re both immersed in your own worlds while sitting next to each other—simple yet so nice.

Yoongi leans in, “It can be our secret, don’t worry.”

He walks away nonchalantly, not knowing that it’s the second time he’s made Jin’s cheeks burn today.

It’s 11pm when all the hybrids in their room—even Taehyung, who Namjoon had to pry away from his paints. The wolves are getting ready to tuck themselves in for the night, leaving you and Yoongi alone in the living room. You watch as he sets up his laptop in a corner, getting ready for an emergency meeting. He’d asked you to stay and listen in from the side, making it one less thing he has to write in a recap email. It feels odd, though, being alone with him for this amount of time. The awkwardness weighs heavily on both of you.

The meeting starts in a frenzy, as much as any other emergency meeting. It’s not uncommon in the field you’re in, not even when it’s 11pm on a Sunday. In the world of venture capitalism, the work doesn’t sleep, and neither do the workers. You listen in closely as your COO, Minhyun talks through the screen, calmly addressing everyone’s concerns and weighing in on the best course of action. It makes you more jealous than you care to admit, the way he commands a room with such a level-headed demeanor. Yoongi’s words creep back into your brain, reminding you of how much better the office is without your presence. You wonder if Shin Investments would perform better under someone like Minhyun—if you’re just not competent enough.

It’s 2am when a course of action is determined, the call full of tired businessmen all ready to hang up. All except one of the board members, whose voice you recognize as Mr. Yoo, who’s still somehow in the mood to gossip after a three hour meeting.

“It must be nice to be Miss Shin right now, going on vacation with six hybrids while the rest of us are here working long nights on a weekend.”

Yoongi looks over, telling you to be calm with his gaze alone. He knows you’re itching to give some biting remark and put Yoo back in his place, but the last thing either you or him need right now is people finding out you’re living together. Thankfully, you’re on the same page, biting back your tongue and remaining silent off-screen.

“Miss Shin hasn’t taken a vacation day off since she started here. I’m sure she’s earned to sleep through a couple more nights.”

Yoongi watches as Yoo’s facial expressions change, clearly not expecting anyone to defend you.

“Sure, sure. Just a little obnoxious to use it this way, isn’t it? I mean, it’s not like she has a family trip or emergency. Three whole weeks to have an orgy with wolf hybrids…” His smirk is especially sleazy at that part, causing other bursts of laughter to erupt from the meeting, “it’s just not very ladylike.”

Your knuckles are paper-white as you clutch the side of your chair, using every ounce of restraint in your body to not berate the man through the camera. Yoongi seems equally upset, as his response comes across even more annoyed than before.

“If I recall, Mr. Yoo, you’ve taken three vacations for honeymoons in the past two years alone. Three honeymoons in two years…I wonder how long the newest marriage will last. Why don’t we bet on it?”

“Mr. Min! Watch it.”

“My bad, I thought it was open floor to comment on our coworkers’ personal lives today.”

That one gets a laugh out of Minhyun.

“Alright alright, that’s enough. Mr. Yoo, just because Y/N isn’t here doesn’t mean I’ll tolerate such remarks towards her. I’ll give you a warning this time, but any further instances will land you straight to HR. And Mr. Min, let’s refrain from personal comments as well. Now, it’s been a long day and we should all get some sleep. Goodnight everyone.”

It’s only when Yoongi closes his laptop do you talk again,

“Thank you…for speaking up for me.”

“Always.”

It’s silent as he packs up his bag. Your expression is sour, and it’s clear you’re still bothered. He almost doesn’t say anything—fearing you’re not in a place to have proper conversations with him yet—but he can’t let you spiral in your thoughts alone.

“You can’t let sleazy comments like that get to you, Y/N.”

“It’s not Yoo’s comment that I’m thinking about.”

“Then what is it?”

You hang your head in resignation. “Minhyun would make a better CEO than me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is. He’s excellent.”

It’s reflexive the way Yoongi’s at your side at the first sign of you doubting yourself.

“Shin Y/N, ever since you’ve taken over the company, profit margin has increased by 15% and stock value by 6%. There is no reason for you to be doubting or comparing your abilities.”

“It’s not just about numbers, though, is it? He’s also kind and everyone seems to like and respect him.”

“And who says you can’t be kind?”

You look at him with a questioning brow raise, “You did. Very clearly when you told me how much happier the office is without me.”

He takes one of your hands, clasping it between his own to pull you face-to-face. You expect him to let go, but he doesn’t, and you don’t try to get away either.

“I never said you can’t be. I just said you need to try harder, and I’m standing by that statement.”

You scoff, “That’s easier said than done, you know?”

“Since when has something being too hard ever stopped you from trying?”

You hold his gaze, realizing he does have a point. It’s the first time you’re not getting fully defensive about the subject, and Yoongi takes that as a win in itself.

“They’ll call me a weak little girl the second I start, Yoongi.” The vulnerability is clear in your voice.

“Maybe they will, but we both know you’re not. There’s not one thing those men can do or say to take away from how competent you are—but, as long as they can make you insecure like this, they’ll be the ones who have all the power.”

You look down, words taking a moment to soak into your brain. The way he’s holding your hand feels strange…intimate in a way it’s never felt before.

“Will you really stay by my side through everything?”

“I will. I promise.”

____

A/N: Do you guys like the way things are progressing? Let me know! Comments and reblogs make me happy :)

Permanent Taglist: @skyys-universee @morelovefortn @seagulljk @shadowyjellyfishfest @m4gg13-g @wittyreader

Series Taglist [CLOSED]: @welcometomyworld13 @kalala22 @fxirytaetae @btsfluffsworld @belikejk @shycreationdreamland @danielle143 @singukieee @blackrockshooter780 @g-b-artist @i-have-no-life-charlie @sopemee @no-regrets-just-confusion @acciocriativity @ldysmfrst @amara-mars @caelumwrites @estrellaburnxd @borahaetelevision @on-1ce @fuckthinking @jaiele

#bts hybrid au #hybrid bts x reader #poly bts #ot7 x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #hurt/comfort

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chiscribbs · 11 months

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[***NOTE: Leo's design here is no longer accurate, link to the updated version.]

I know there are already a lot of "the brothers are separated at a young age and raised by different people" AUs floating around, so this isn't especially original, but- I've yet to see one with this particular parent-child arrangement, so...

Here’s some rough concept art for what I’m calling the “Grown Apart AU” Which I've also been affectionately referring to as the "Everyone's a Disney Protagonist" AU for quite some time... you'll see why.

Here’s the gist: Basically, Splinter is only able to save Mikey and Leo from the lab explosion - Raph is immediately picked up by Huginn and Muninn and handed back over to Draxum; Donnie is lost mid-escape and later found by Big Mama's goons, who show up for Lou but bring Don back with them instead when Lou is nowhere to be found.

Details of each turtles’ upbringings (as well as how/when they meet April) below the cut:

RAPH

Draxum raised Raph to be everything he originally intended the turtles to be: a ruthless, obedient super soldier whose sole purpose in life is to protect the Yokai by eliminating the human threat. Draxum taught him to hate humankind and trained him up to be virtually undefeatable in battle. However...because Draxum isn't the most attentive parent, most of the caretaking for Raph was actually provided by Huginn and Muninn. And the two little well-meaning gargoyles - mostly unintentionally and outside of their master's knowledge - wound up nurturing a much softer and friendlier side to their supposedly bloodthirsty warrior-in-the-making. As a result, Raph has essentially been living a double-life under Draxum’s ownership; playing the part of a perfect soldier for his father/general, who he's determined not to disappoint, and only feeling free to be himself when he's alone (or with H&M.)

Raph has always known that there were supposed to be other mutants like himself but grew up believing that he's the only one who survived the experiment, making him the only one left in existence (until Draxum’s oozesquitos create more, that is). Even though he had H&M to keep him company, being an only child could still be pretty lonely sometimes, so Raph would often imagine what having brothers - other mutants like himself that he could have grown up alongside - would have been like.

Raph is the only one of the turtles that knows his human DNA comes from Lou Jitsu - just like Draxum, though, he has no idea that Splinter is actually Lou Jitsu.

DONNIE

Donnie had a posh and cushy upbringing in Big Mama's hotel - she raised him as her own son(unaware that he’s actually Lou’s)/apprentice and uses his technological talents to aid her multiple businesses: he supplies new weapons and battlegrounds for the Battle Nexus, as well as automated assistants and security for her hotel, and even pitches in with her more off-the-record dealings that last one being without Donnie’s knowledge. Big Mama's kept him pretty much wrapped around her little finger; praising him for his intelligence and usefulness whenever he does a good job or makes her nice things. When he hasn’t, however, she’s a less-than-affectionate mother. Donnie will do absolutely anything it takes to impress and earn approval from her.

Donnie is largely sheltered and knows very little about the world outside of the hotel - especially the human world, about which most of his knowledge comes from what he finds on the internet. He doesn't even know that he's a mutant, believing himself to be just some uncommon type of yokai, since that's all he knows. He’s not allowed to fraternize freely with the hotel guests and has a somewhat contentious relationship with Big Mama’s assistant, whom he’s always viewed as competition for her affection. The closest thing he's had to a friend is S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N, whom Donnie built to have someone to talk to (besides Big Mama's boring, no-nonsense henchmen).

Don finally met April when he was about 11 yrs old; he secretly sent one of his spy bots out to explore the human city and she intercepted it. The two have been best friends and stayed in-touch with each other online ever since - April being unaware that Donnie isn't human.

Donnie knows of Lou Jitsu purely because he was Big Mama’s favorite champion in the history of the Battle Nexus - he idolizes him, having watched recordings of many of his fights, and dreams of one day fighting in the Battle Nexus himself (if Big Mama would allow that).

Leo & Mikey

Leo and Mikey were still rescued by Lou/Splinter and brought up in the NY sewers. Splinter felt extremely guilty for not managing to save the other two baby turtles and, for the first few years following the incident, spent much of his time searching for them. Once Leo was old enough, Splinter would start leaving him and Mikey in the Lair while he searched. He eventually gave up his search, presuming them both dead or lost for good, and resigned to keeping the remaining two as safe as possible - teaching them how to defend themselves and warning them never to leave the sewers unless he was with them.

Leo and Mikey were inseparable as kids - they would do everything together, refusing to even sleep in separate rooms until they were too big to fit in one bed anymore. Leo took his job as Mikey's big brother very seriously and always tried his best to protect him, even when they were simply playing games with each other. As they got older, though, the two brothers began to drift apart - Leo started to feel a little smothered; craving more freedom to do what he wanted when he wanted, without the older sibling responsibilities hanging over him 24/7. And Mikey started feeling like he couldn't go/do anything without his brother's judgement or approval, resenting the idea that he needed constant protection.

Finally, when he was about 13, Leo secretly snuck out of the lair one night to check out the city by himself and get a little taste of independence. After that one trip, it quickly became a habit and he soon began making regular “secret” trips into the city.

Somewhere along the way, his innocent quests for freedom and fun grew into opportunities to stir up some trouble - Leo eventually met and became involved with a group of yokai teens with whom he would pull pranks and play jokes on the city's human occupants (harmless ones...usually. They just enjoy causing a little mischief.)

Mikey, having to figure out other ways to keep himself occupied since his brother is usually by himself or busy with his new friends, has picked up a multitude of different skills and hobbies, trying absolutely everything he can get his hands on. His main hobby is spray-painting, which he uses to spruce any wall he can find with his own personal touch. By the time he's 13, much of underground New York has been covered by his handiwork. Mikey eventually finds out about Leo’s secret outings and follows him when he leaves one night - the two end up meeting April, who's never seen mutants before (having only talked to Donnie online and not seen his face) and promptly freaks out before realizing they're not dangerous. The three soon become friends, too, and April starts making plans to introduce the boys to Donnie - knowing he could use more friends besides S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and herself.

The four brothers' fates finally collide with one another when an escapee from Draxum's lab - Mayhem - shows up out of the blue and catapults Mikey and Leo to the Hidden City, where they have an unexpected reunion with their eldest brother.

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kraviolis · 11 months

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i told y’all. i told y’all i was gonna go crazy over this post made by @gummy-goat-galaxy

full disclosure i drew literally all of this before looking into the details of the AU so this is 70% my interpretation of his original post but i need to explain my thought process so. here’s the post explaining the details of the actual AU!!! and below is what my brain made up on the spot

ok so belos finds tiny child luz and is like “fuck everyone. this is mine now” and treats her like a goddamn princess. to him, she is a Gift From God to remind him to stay on his Righteous Path. an innocent little girl who is just so bubbly and always tries to see the good in everything, including him. she is a reminder of how Pure and Good humanity is, and seeing as though she’s the literal only human he’s had any contact with besides caleb in 400 fucking years, he is never letting the demon realm corrupt her like it did to him.

she’s basically his Lamb and he the Shepherd, and because he’s so desperate to keep her “““pure”““ he strictly keeps her within the castle and even then not all of the castle is available to her. he keeps her contact with witches to an absolute bare minimum.

he entrusts her protection specifically to hunter, despite the fact he’s only 2 years older. his reasoning is “caleb did a pretty good job raising me so this’ll be fine probably.” when belos himself cannot keep an eye on her, it’s hunter’s job. luz and hunter end up being raised in a sorta similar situation to catra & adora from she-ra but they are actually siblings and not just best friends.

(if u havent seen she-ra, basically its their abusive caretaker creating a golden child + scapegoat dynamic, where one kid can do absolutely no wrong (which doesnt mean they cant still be abused/manipulated!!) while the other kid is blamed for literally everything that goes wrong. the caretaker also regularly pits them against each other to encourage competition & keep the all power in the caretaker’s hands.)

similar to catra & adora, the whole competition thing doesnt really work. luz is just too damn kind and too damn good for hunter to ever resent her, and she’s all he really has. because hunter is the scapegoat, he grows wise to belos’s manipulations WAY sooner. it’s easier to figure out when you’re being mistreated when you literally watch ur guardian treating ur sibling so much better than how they treat u.

unfortunately, because luz cannot help but see the good in absolutely everyone and can be empathetic to a fault, she doesnt realize belos’s game until she ends up sneaking out of the castle. she actually really loves belos and is thankful for him taking her in for a long time. she calls him uncle like hunter, despite belos nudging her towards seeing him as a father bcus he sees her as a pseudo-daughter. (but luz remembers her dad, and has no desire to replace him with someone else no matter how much she cares for belos)

belos does love & adore luz, he would do almost anything to keep her happy and “innocent” and “pure”, but not to the extent that he could still end up redeemed. he still manipulates & subtly emotionally abuses her to keep her in line, but it’s only when she sneaks out and meets eda the owl lady does she start getting clued into this. and once luz learns what belos has done to hunter it’s all fucking over.

hunter loves luz. she is his sister and always will be. but while he’s stuck to belos because of his duties as golden guard, she sees how green the grass is on the other side and doesn’t even hesitate to hop over there. watching her slowly grow more and more distant while she keeps sneaking out to visit with her new friends (eda, king, willow, gus, amity, etc.) is one of the most painful things hunter has had to deal with.

he feels betrayed at first, as if luz is replacing him with other people who arent broken like he is, and when luz actually leaves for good- belos lies to the public and says she was kidnapped- hunter is the one who leads the hunt to find her and bring her back home safely. when they confront each other, luz tries to do her whole dramatic speech about how wrong belos is and how he’s been lying their whole lives, but hunter already knows. the only reason he stayed was for luz, but she couldnt even stay from him? it fuckin hurts man.

they end up on opposite sides for a minute. hunter gains no satisfaction from trying to ruin this new life she’s found for herself but goddamnit, he has a job to do. he cant just defect. and then he defects after watching belos try to kill luz because she’s let herself become corrupted by the witches.

thats about all my brain got for this so far. TL;DR basically just listen to the “first time in forever” and “mother knows best reprise” and “broken crown” by mumford & sons and thats pretty much the gist of it.

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headspace-hotel · 2 months

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i'm...thinking about writing a book?

I mean. I feel really silly at the thought because i'm not like a scientist or anything, i'm barely at the beginning of my knowledge journey, but...being a writer was what I always wanted to do. It's what I've been doing ever since I could remember. And I'm constantly, constantly just so full of things that I want to tell the whole world. I will have a realization or idea and think, oh my god. Everyone needs to know this. But I can't tell everyone. I'm not good at talking.

I'm good at writing. But I will sit down to write a post on my silly little blog and get so overwhelmed by the SCALE of everything I want to say.

I think I've already started to write a book. I think the space for these ideas to fill is already the size of a book and it will never have any smaller of a size, and no one else will come along to write the book, and no one else CAN write the book, and IT HAS TO BE WRITTEN.

I want to write about the ways of the plants, of course. I want to teach how to transplant and how to gather seeds and the properties of keystone species...but more importantly, I want to write about how to learn the ways of the plants. I want to promote the habit of insatiable curiosity and intense observation. I want to show everyone that everything everywhere is infinitely interesting and mysterious, and if you pay attention to the plants, they will teach you.

I want to write about Symbiosis. I want to write about how we are connected to every other thing, how we have our own ecological niche as Caretakers, and our own special adaptations of curiosity and love. I want to write about how the ecosystem needs us to participate in it, not to cut ourselves off from it, and how our powerful influence on ecosystems can be for good or for bad. We are not a disease. We are a Keystone Species.

I want to discourage this Euro-centric idea that sees humans as separate, and recommend more reading from indigenous points of view that understands ecosystems better and sees humans as participants in nature, engaging in a reciprocal symbiotic relationship. I want to speak against all this talk about removing humans from half of the Earth or reducing the human population, and show other people that despair and fear make you paralyzed and powerless, but hope is powerful.

The most important and powerful thing you can do for your ecosystem is to love it. It is necessary to have hope for the future—to learn to imagine a future of restoration and renewal, and to build community with other people working toward that future.

If we don't imagine a future for our ecosystems, imagine them boldly and audaciously in ways that feel crazy and impossible, those futures will not happen. But just the act of saying, "This WILL happen. We WILL be okay." gives you the strength and energy to fight and it gives you the creativity to come up with solutions you never could have thought of before.

And I feel I have to explain, how did I end up listening to plants? And how did the teachings become so important that I had to write about them? There's this black, swallowing abyss underpinning all of who I am, some intimation of a reality so terrible the human spirit breaks beneath it. I had a mental health crisis back in 2021 where I was pulled deep into that abyss, and when I started rescuing little plants and caring for them, I was basically re-learning how to be human.

I feel like I was seeking answers to "How am I supposed to live in this world?" in the natural world because the human world of poetry and books and articles and think-pieces had utterly failed me in that regard. I had taken multiple poetry classes where I had read all the best contemporary poems, and all the poets just wrote flat, plodding, blunt descriptions of their trauma and despair. Nothing is wrong with these topics, but the worst part was how these authors didn't even take themselves seriously; they had to be detached and ironic about their own pain, like a snarky dystopian novel hero who jokes casually about the horrific reality they live in so the reader knows that this reality is normal and unremarkable to them—and even more importantly, that the hero is ironic and cool instead of responding in a vulnerable, human way.

And speaking of dystopian novels...there were a lot of those! It was like all the visions of the future I had read were dystopian. Even I had been writing a dystopian novel. But I realized that I wasn't wise enough to tell that story yet. I didn't know why at first. But then, as I was reading everything people were writing about climate change, I began to realize.

I saw a lot of patterns between the way people wrote about climate change and the tendencies of self-harm and self-defeat that gnawed inside me. Suicide was something that I had never struggled against, but I understood that suicide was only the most striking manifestation of a self-annihilating way. Sometimes you feel like by hurting yourself, you are being transgressive, exercising autonomy against an absolute, crushing reality. It doesn't have to be physical hurt; it can just be deciding no one will like you and denying yourself love, or thinking "Well, there's no use hoping for anything good to happen."

This is how people talk about climate change. They fantasize about extreme, horrific scenarios and talk as if the Earth is already dead and destroyed, and they talk about humans hatefully and as if they were a disease, and then congratulate themselves for seeing how bad it REALLY is instead of being in denial. It is easy for people to get attached to this and even get mad when someone suggests there might be hope, simply because self-harm can be very psychologically reinforcing.

It is common to call these responses "climate grief." But as I came into this very simple and quiet yet profound encounter with Nature, she had an answer to this philosophy that was perfectly gentle and placid and yet caustic enough to strip paint:

"HOW CAN YOU WISH FOR THE STRENGTH TO GRIEVE THE EARTH, WHEN YOU WERE NEVER STRONG ENOUGH TO LOVE IT?"

I realized, with a breaking heart, that I had always hated and resented my back yard and my home town, because it was an ugly place that seemed to me "Already destroyed," and my soul ached for woods and wilderness.

It had taken me 20 years to fully admit my love of nature, because I felt like there was no point in acting upon it—everything would get destroyed anyway.

I had not been brave enough to love the woods across the road, the creeks and the hills, because they were so fragile in a world that didn't respect them, they could be destroyed by some housing development at any time. So I just accepted that it was already a lost cause.

But it was time to be brave enough—not to accept despair, but to choose hope.

To grow up, first we had to become strong and get rid of silly beliefs like hope and fairness and love. But now, we have to become even stronger and start believing in those things again.

#the ways of the plants #learning to imagine the future

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rubra-wav · 2 months

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Yes! That’s exactly what I meant with the butterflies and characters!

I now have another request for main cast +Rosie and how they’d react with a Toriel (undertale)! reader where they’re basically a super comforting mother-like figure. I specifically want their reactions to reader making Toriels iconic and homely butterscotch cinnamon pie.

The main cast + Rosie × Toriel-like reader hcs

[ Part 2/ x Lucifer ]

A/N Glad I got the first one right! I've mostly written this as generally parental to keep stuff more gn, but reader is definitely more maternal than paternal.

I love this prompt sm. Toriel is such a sweetheart, and I feel like a reader who's like her would be a massive help to the cast and their progress of redemption.

Cw: SFW, technically gn but I use the words 'mum or dad' to refer to reader, platonic, kinda hurt/comfort in parts, suggestive in Angel's, references to cannibalism in Alastor's and Rosie's

Charlie

- Charlie would love you so much.

- She's got absolutely horrendous unresolved parental issues from both parents, so she would attach to you so quickly.

- If you tell her how wonderful of a job she's doing and that you are proud of her as a warm, caretaking parental-like figure, then she's gonna be bawling like an absolute baby.

- You want an unofficially adopted daughter?

- When you bake her the pie, she will feel years of ignoring her damaged inner child absolutely smack into her at once.

- Runs over to you and just grips onto your shirt as she bawls into your shoulder, saying thank you over and over again and apologising for crying. Probably accidentally calls you mum or dad as you're there hugging her and is then super embarrassed after it.

- After that? Yeah, she just keeps calling you mum or dad accidentally. It just becomes habitual at some point, and everyone else in the hotel just kinda accepts it.

- I can see her unconsciously calling you mum or dad on the phone to Lucifer himself and Lucifer going nuts about it, thinking she's either talking about Alastor or Lilith has come back.

- It'll just be the Alastor shenanigans all over again, but when Lucifer actually sees you, he can't even be mad.

- You offer him tea and stuff you've made for his visit, and he's just there angrily stuffing his face while slightly crying because he's trying so hard to stay mad, but Charlie looks so happy as she talks animatedly about him to you and you're so genuinely sweet unlike Alastor.

- He's also lacking a massive spot missing in himself that Lilith left that you could fill.

- ... Want an unofficial adopted husband, too?

Vaggie

- At first, she really doesnt like you.

- Nah, she hates you straight up.

- Finds how you act for a demon to be greatly untrustworthy, and she's very defensive because she thinks you're just another Alastor who's trying to get close to Charlie to potentially harm her.

- After a while, though, she sees you are just genuinely a deeply abnormal demon as compared to what she's seen.

- Then she quickly warms up to you.

- She never thought she had any kind of missing parent spot in her heart, being an ex exterminator and all, but oh boy, was she wrong.

- She's never experienced any kind of presence like yours - as an exterminator, she didn't have parents.

- And because of that, she's suddenly found herself unable to stop crying for some reason as you hugged her and told her she's doing a really good job protecting everyone.

- She's never had that in this way. Charlie is, of course, supportive but not in a way that's parental.

- If you tell anyone about her crying in your arms, she says she will deny it and end you.

- When you offer her the pie, she doesn't break down like Charlie, but she's so happy. Has googly eyes about it and is fighting tears as you come and hug her.

- Very much appreciates you and all you do, in a much less 'going to start actually calling you mum/dad' way, though.

- Does somewhat attach to you like that however.

- Absolutely becomes particularly protective over you.

Angel Dust

- You vex him so greatly.

- At first, he thinks it's some kind of roleplay thing you were trying to get him to play out, and he's not into it at all.

- Downplays it if you're male with a; "Well, I'm not usually into that kinda calling people daddy, but -"

- Straight up tells reader he's not into that if reader isn't male, however.

- Is even more confused when you are horrified he thinks you're trying to bed him.

- All his years of coming across terrible people have made him avoid you like the plague, he doesn't trust you because you're just so?? Weird?

- Thinks you're trying to break his walls down with kindness so you can take advantage of him, so his guard is literally always all the way up with you.

- He cracks a bit, though, when he's had a rough night and you find him sitting on the lounge in the TV room with his head in his hands.

- You bring him a slice of the butterscotch cinnamon pie, hearing he likes sweet things, and some tea with a painkiller on the side of the plate.

- When he says thank you hesitantly, you just smile and hum before leaving.

- After that, he starts to warm to you.

- You help to patch him up if he ever gets injured and take care of him when he comes home wasted.

- When you patch him up/take care of him, you sometimes help brush his fur out, and he loves that a lot.

- Will lie about not liking it, though. He's not meant to like soft affection. It goes against his persona he tries to put on.

- The way he leans into your touch though whenever you do this is very telling.

Husk

- He doesn't like you at all.

- Finds the way you treat him deeply unsettling and borderline humiliating, and wishes you would just leave him alone.

- He's a grown man, he doesn't want to be treated like someone's kid - especially some random.

- When you back off, he's thankful for it.

- He appreciates when you do smaller gestures for him though that are less parental/ emotional and are more just practical.

- If you help him clean up, give him stuff to eat while he's working, volunteer to massage his shoulders, etc. He's happy.

- When you give him some of the butterscotch cinnamon pie, he's gonna bitch he doesn't like sweet things but he'll be lying about not liking it.

- Probably will try to recreate the recipe in secret late at night.

- Absolutely mortified when you find him absolutely covered in flour with a mixing bowl in his hands after hearing him sneeze loudly.

- The ingredients on the bench very clearly match what would be in a butterscotch cinnamon pie.

- When you say he could have just asked you what the recipe was, he gets incredibly defensive and vehemently denies it.

- You wave him off apologising for 'assuming wrong', then leave him to continue what he totally wasn't doing.

- He gives up after that and goes to bed rather embarrassed, getting caught on his bs.

- He's extra embarrassed when the next day he finds the recipe written on a piece of paper slid under his room's door.

- He acts like he doesn't like you still, but it's an absolute lie.

Sir Pentious

- Deeply paranoid about you in the beginning, naturally.

- He finds the way you act extremely strange and the way it makes him feel even stranger, so he avoids you for a while.

- One night when he thinks you're asleep he comes to look longingly at you like with other members of the hotel.

- Only to find you are not asleep at all, and are just reading late into the night, lost in a book.

- He inwardly curses and tries to leave, but the floorboards outside of the door creak with his movement, and he's mortified, anticipating getting the living crap beaten out of him.

- Is surprised when you smile at him and beckon him over instead, though, asking him what he's doing up so late.

- Slowly comes over to you and sits down next to you hesitantly. He's still anticipating a beating, but figures if he does what you ask he will receive less of one.

- You of course don't, and your soft nature sweeps him in. His tired and secretly touch starved self is very quickly falling asleep curled against you.

- After that, he quickly warms up to you, finding your caring, affectionate nature very much something he's missing and wants.

- When you serve him the cinnamon and butterscotch pie, he goes very weepy about it. He doesn't really like sweet things that much, but he's so soft about the gesture.

- Would probably be one to attach to you hard as a parent-figure as well. Would never allow himself to call you mum or dad though.

-If he does, it's mumbled out while he's very tired and not thinking while snuggled against you.

- One of his eggs hears this and later addresses it, and he's absolutely horrified.

Alastor

- He's another person who's particularly fond of you for the get-go.

- He has a surprising soft spot for people who act parent-like - especially when it's more on the motherly kind of side of things.

- So, from day one, he's treating you much more genuinely nicely than he usually would other people.

- He would never in a million years act like the others do with you. However, he certainly does not shy away from you doting upon him.

- He'd accept tea and pastries (even though they aren’t exactly to his usual tastes), as well as the affection and praise you give out liberally graciously with a smile and warmness that is not as forced as it is with others.

- But he would certainly never allow himself to become attached enough to you to see you like a parent to him. He's got one parent, and you could never replace her.

- When you come out with the butterscotch cinnamon pie, looking all homely and soft with it in your hands, he feels himself smile widely and let's out a laugh that's so lacking of the usual mocking/underlying bad intent that it would surprise the listener.

- Happy to tell you about his day each time he comes home over tea.

- Of course he doesn't discuss anything under surface level things, though he certainly likes the smalltalk you bring to the table.

- You may be able to crack his outward persona a little bit and get him to very vaguely touch upon what's going on with him under the surface, but even then, it's never truly honest or obvious as to what his true thoughts are.

- When he has the breakdown in the final episode, he particularly avoids you afterwards as he just knows he'd risk letting his walls down too much around you.

Niffty

- Another one who absolutely loves you from day one.

- You let her put on puppet shows with the dead insects she kills and compliment her messed up collections and art, though you do push her towards less sadistic/unhinged forms of entertainment.

- She doesn't stop what she does, of course, but she will take up some of what you recommend. Usually in a very twisted way though.

- ie. 'paintings of butterflies', but it's actual butterflies mixed with other insects like a messed up form of taxidermy all glued down onto a page.

- Likes having you around to do the mopping and vacuuming around the hotel with her.

- She of course helps with the work, but she particularly enjoys sliding full speed across the floor while it's wet towards you and watching you panic as you scramble to catch her.

- Also likes to sit on the vacuum cleaner when you use it talking about anything and everything.

- You usually both end up absolutely covered in soapy water by the end of cleaning.

- She also likes the meals and desserts you make for her very much.

- When you bring out the pie, she's sitting down and kicking her legs excitedly as she looks at it as you bring her a slice.

- After shes done, she's going over to you and is sitting in your lap while kicking her feet even more excitedly and cuddling up against you, basking in your hugs while giggling.

- Absolutely calls you mum or mama. Regardless of your gender, you'd be getting called mum by her.

Rosie

- Pleasantly surprised to meet a sinner like you.

- You two get on like a house on fire the second you meet.

- She's of course cordial, but it's much less forced around you, and she feels a lot more easy going around someone like you.

- She's absolutely beaming in every meeting you have and absolutely adores being around you at all points.

- She finds how you instantly try to take care of everyone around you - including her - absolutely endearing and extremely cute.

- Loves having tea with you and Alastor.

- It's not often she can find someone who is unafraid enough to have tea with not only her but also Al, so she's absolutely elated. Most people are scared for obvious reasons to dine with cannibals.

- Normally, she would turn down the kind of food you make, but she just cannot bring herself to.

- You're too sweet to say no to in her books.

- She's somewhat hesitant to try it like with most of what you bring when you bring out the pie, but is delighted when she does.

- Truly loves it, and your gestures are just so absolutely lovely to her.

- Doesn't attach to you as a parental figure at all, but certainly does love having you as a friend.

- She absolutely tries to dote on you in the same way you do with her.

- A bit hesitant to start cooking more normal dishes though, so she ends up asking you to cook with her.

- She's surprised at how fun it is to cook with you.

- Rosie and you end up starting to bake or prepare desserts for your teatime sessions with Al. It quickly becomes an activity she absolutely cherishes.

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