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#but as much as i complain!! im really happy and flattered that people enjoy my art so much!! im just Nervous about finishinf on time skskks
finniigan-fr · 3 years
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Ppl are rly flooding my foddart shop help skksks at this rate ill be drawing nothing but dragons for 2 months :,) im so flattered though
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junquisite · 3 years
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Blind Date
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WORD COUNT : 1.3K
GENRE : Fluff,  Wookjin/ Nine X OC
WARNING : None
NOTE : This is my first Onlyoneof fic so like..enjoy!
There are a lot of ways a blind coffee date can go for you. Mostly it is meeting someone you have never met before, smiling awkwardly in the beginning and hopefully it gets better and more comfortable and if all goes well, you find yourself with a second date, probably a dinner date.
For Bora, it went NOTHING like that. 
It started normally - a Saturday morning filled with her best friend raiding her closet and making her try any cloth combination she deems fit until choosing the one she actually said she wanted to try - a simple knee-length beige one piece and a cardigan around her shoulder lest it gets chilly in the evening. She reached the cafe with regular messages from the same best friend on her phone about how she’ll probably sweep the guy off his feet because she looked so pretty.
It was a blind date. Her first one at that, set by an office friend that she gave into after about 4 times of being asked. 10 minute passes and she just assumed he was late. She ordered herself some water when the waiter came.
20 minute passed. Then 25. Then 30. Eventually she could feel the stares of the staff and people pitying and there was only so long she could wait for a date she knew she had been stood up for. 
As soon as she pushed her chair back though, the chair in front of her was pulled back and a young man bowed at her as he rushed out, “I’m sorry i’m so late, you had to wait too long didn't you?” he said as he sat and signed at her to sit too.
She took the seat and stared at him. Okay so it was not as much as a blind date per se, she had seen the picture of the guy she was supposed to meet and this extremely handsome idol looking DEFINITELY younger guy was not him.
“Who are you?” was what she asked first and he gave her a shy smile.
“Jung Wookjin. I know I had no right to come and sit here but I was here to meet with someone who had to cancel out and it looked like you were stood up too so I thought maybe we could bond over our broken hearts.”
She stared a bit at him, utterly confused and trying to understand why he was here which apparently made him uncomfortable as he started fidgeting.
“If you want to leave I will understand.” he said as he looked sideways and a giggle escaped her lips. He looked so cute, pouting slightly like that.
“I’m Kim Bora.'' The smile she got at her response made her look away. She wasn't used to sitting in front of cute men, she was bound to turn red.
“So how old are you Bora-ssi?”
“Aah im 24, you?” she asked and he smirked at her.
“I'm turning 22 soon, can I call you Noona thne?” she nodded as she sighed in relief when the waiter came to take their order.
The slight awkward conversation took a turn for the better with every passing second until they looked out and saw it was getting dark. They decided to leave then and as they walked towards the subway station, Wookjin grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Noona.. Why don't we have dinner too? I mean there is this restaurant nearby that I have heard alot about and I would like to try but I have never had anyone to go with and you are here now but of course you don't have to say yes-” his rambling stopped when she started laughing.
“I'm hungry anyway, lets go.” she said as his eyes gleamed with happiness, and during the whole small walk of 5 minutes, he went on and on about the reviews of that restaurant.
The dinner date too, went effortlessly smoothly as the coffee date had gone. They were not even halfway done with dinner when plans for the next date were made - to watch a movie the next day only they both apparently have been wanting to. By the time dinner ended, plans to meet for lunch during their breaks on monday were also made since their offices were nearby.
Phone numbers were exchanged amidst laughter and giggles over stories, incidents at works and even university life popped up. It was fun - Wookjin was fun, Bora realised as time passed. He had this really bright personality and the way to tell even mundane stories as if they were the best thing that ever happened. And the way his whole attention was on her when she spoke, asking questions and wanting to know her- it had been a while since she had felt such a connection with someone in a short span of time and any doubts she had before of maybe she was moving too fast went out of the window by the time they left the restaurant.
It was nighttime and slightly chilly as she wrapped the cardigan around her tightly and rubbed her hands. It was cute how he grumbled slightly and she turned to ask him what was wrong.
“Your cardigan makes everything tough Noona. I could have offered you my jacket when you would have complained about the cold weather but no, you brought the cardigan.” he whined as he glared daggers at the cardigan around her. His whiny tone along with his comment made her laugh so hard she was almost sure there were tears in her eyes.
His little giggles at her laughter and pinkish cheeks did not escape her eyes and she stood up on her tiptoes to pinch his cheeks.
“You’re so cute.”
“I'm not cute Noona, I'm not supposed to be cute!”
Even the way he complained was endearing to Bora as she dragged him towards the subway station.
Half an hour later, he was standing in front of her apartment building as he had insisted on walking her home even when she insisted she could go and it was a safe area.
“I had fun today Noona.” he said as he smiled shyly at her. 
“Me too. I'm kind of glad my blind date didn't turn up.” 
“Im happy too. Can I confess something before we end this date?” he asked and she nodded, curious about his confession.
“My friend did not bail on me, they were running a bit late and I was the only one who cancelled because I wanted to sit with you. I didn't want anything that might happen between us to be founded on lies.”
Well that..doesn't really change anything but is still news for her. It was also slightly flattering to know this and he had already said about 10 times that it was not out of pity why he came to sit with her. And the fact that he was not only adorable, intelligent and interesting but also mature? 
“I.. it's alright I suppose? Although I feel bad for your friend who you cancelled on because of me.”
“He’ll be fine.” he said with a huge smile which made her smile in return.
After a few seconds of simply looking at each other, Wookjin was the first to look away. After clearing his throat and with a clearly red face, he looked at her and said, “So I uhh-- will get going Noona.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. She had not planned for it to happen at all but something about his red face made her want to tease him even more as she pulled him down from the lapel of his jacket and left a small kiss on his cheek.
The result was satisfactory - his face turned even more red, which she did not knew was possible, and he stuttered out incomprehensibly for a few seconds. It was cute, just like everything else about him as she had come to realise.
“I’ll see you tomorrow Wookijn-ah?” she asked as he nodded quickly and then finally looked up at her with the biggest smile on his adorable red face. 
She really was happy her blind date stood her up.
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saltynsassy31 · 3 years
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Well I've really been enjoying your fics and I got a prompt for you. Imagine this: post-phone spamton and swatch invited to a fancy party. :D
Omg it makes me so happy to hear you've been enjoying my work 🥺🥺💞
But that is a lovely idea!
Here ya go!
This happens right after spamton started to work under Swatch (maybe a month or so) so before he met up with the addisons (from what I've written so far of my now little au fkdfkig)
Spamton looked at himself through the mirror
He hasn't looked this nice in a long time. Yeah working for Swatchon you need to look nice but this was different
He was wearing a black vest with a white sweater underneath, there was a blue circle like the pink one on Swatch's vest on the left side of his and he was wearing a yellow bowtie
He was wearing white pants with two stripes in the right side of the pants, one was pink and the other orange
He worse his usual pink and yellow glasses and his hair was combed back, it was the smoothest and neatest it's ever been
Though he couldn't help but cringe a bit at the white roots now very much visible, but Swatch said it looked nice so he hadn't bothered to redye it, not like he had time either
"Are you done in there? Whe need to leave in 10 minutes" he heard Swatch yell out from the other side of the door
Right, yeah, they were going to a party. Not any party though, it was THE party of the year, where every well known and respected people go to
The Queen's birthday
And Swatch has been invited to attend, not as a server, but as a guest and they could bring a plus one with them and Swatch had chosen Spamton to bring as a plus one
He wasn't sure why but he didn't complain, he would get to hang out with all the big shots of town so why was he so scared?
"I AM ALMOST READY [[Twitter]]" he said his loud voice hiding any insecurities he had but Swatch still managed to somehow notice
"Can I come in?" They said in a softer much gentler voice, so much so that Spamton couldn't say no
Swatch entered the bathroom and slowly approached Spamton placing a hand over his shoulder
"What's bothering you. Are you worried tonight's dinner party" he asked
"WHY OF COURSE NOT! WHAT A [[silly question]] WHY WOULD I BE WORRIED OF A [[party]] FULL OF [[snobby people]] EAHEAHEAHEAH"
Swatch lifted a brow at him wich just recieaved a scoff from Spamton
"OF COURSE IM WORRIED I WAS A [[dirty little worm]] FOR YEARS MY [[down fall from grace]] WAS IN THE [[HIT NEWS]]" He said looking down from the mirror and into the sink and the sad expression on his face broke Swatch's heart
"Oh I guess I didn't think about that, my apologies but-" he pinched Spamton's chin to make him look at them wich made him blush a big "-you've come a long way from that time and I don't know if you noticed but you've made everyone in the palace adore you"
Swatch blushed a bit as well looking to the side "even me" he looked back at Spamton "and the Queen has been exceptionally happy with your work, you worked very hard for your title and you deserve to be there as much as everyone else"
Spamton smiled his face redder then a tomato "AW SHUCKS YOU MAKE [[a little man]] FLATTERED"
Swatch chuckled "I try" he said with a wink "now come on, we don't want to be lafe"
"WELL IVE HEARD THAT THE LATER YOU ARE THE MORE [[Grand!]] YOU ENTRANCE WILL BE"
"Well we are 15 minutes late already so" Both laughed, Spamton jumped down from the stool and walked out the bathroom hand in hand with Swatch
Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad
End notes
Funfact, this is the night they started dating
I was going to write it but it would be to long so eh
I hope you enjoyed it though
Again I'm so happy to hear you've been enjoying my work it means alot ^^
Asks are still open so feel free to drop more requests if you have any ^^
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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years
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A Hero III (Shinsou x Reader)
A/N: okay, so this is definitely the last part. I had so much fun writing this tbh, i really hope you guys enjoy it. I love love love writing jealousy. This chapter is all fluff, so sweet it’ll give you cavities. God, the thought of seeing shinsou smile and be happy, wow. im in love with him. Have fun reading and comment if you want more shinsou in the future
word count: 5200
Part One/Part Two/Part Three
“Shinsou, what do you think of this?” she held up a dress on the hanger. The price wasn’t nearly as bad as the other things in here, and it wasn’t in an ugly color. It was purple, of course. She loved purple ever since she met her friend. Her notebooks were purple and so was her new bedspread. It was nice to curl up in a cave of violet each night, almost like a night-long hug from him. 
Gosh, she felt herself becoming flustered just thinking about it. You’re friends, Y/N. just because someone is nice to you does not mean they want to go out with you, seriously. She kept telling herself over and over in her head to focus on the task at hand.
They were shopping, specifically for her uncle’s wedding. She had literally nothing that looked mildly appropriate, her closet just stuff to the brim with uniforms and jeans and sweaters, nothing fancy. Two days before the actual ceremony, her mother woke her up early on a Sunday. “Go out and get yourself something nice to wear. I seriously cannot believe both of my children dress like complete slobs everyday.” Y/N heard her hothead mother say in her head once more. Did she really dress like a slob? She didn’t think so. Her clothes weren’t in fashion but also weren’t ugly. 
Shinsou peered up from his phone where he sat on the bench. He didn’t necessarily plan on going out to the mall that day, he was actually going to sleep for most of it. He was quite surprised when he woke up at 10a.m. to his phone ringing and vibrating on the bedside table. Without putting in much thought, he suddenly found himself dressed and walking down the road to her house. 
“It looks fine.”
“Just fine? If it’s ugly, you have to tell me because mom will make me return it and get something else,” she complained.
“In that case, probably not. It’s kinda plain, don’t you think?” he commented. He stood from the bench. “Although, I do appreciate you only looking at purple dresses, let’s try something else.” He hummed to himself, as he walked past her. He didn’t really have an eye for women’s clothes, not at all. He just looked at them and tried to imagine Y/N wearing it. How the colors would look against her skin, and how it would flatter her shape. He tried not to think about her body too much, it would fluster him  and he wouldn’t be able to look her in the eyes, he was sure of it.
“Let’s try red.”
“Red? Like blood?” she asked. He turned to look at her with a raised brow before he remembered she spent her days surrounded by her own blood, as that’s what he quirk entailed. Of course she would associate the color with it. Scrap that idea.
“Okay then, let’s try blue.” She nodded, agreeing with him. She never wore too much color, but that one wasn’t too bad. “Your budget is what? 100 dollars, right?” he asked as his eyes skimmed the racks in the area. Now that he looked at it, dresses really didn’t look that great when they just hung there. 
She stepped up to walk at his side. “Yes. Do you see anything you like?”
“Not really. I have to see them on you to know if they’re good or not,” he told her. His eyes trailed down to a modest blue dress, okay for a party with family members. “Try this one. And then,” he scanned the room once more before walking over and grabbing another one. “Try this one. I’ll wait outside until you’re done.”
She took the dresses from his hands and pressed them to her chest. She would have never picked either of these dresses as they weren’t her style. She was self conscious in the first place, so she tended to avoid wearing anything that would draw attention to her. Just the thought of walking around in a nice dress, eyes turning to stare, it made her feel anxious. 
Still, she was only with Shinsou. She didn’t have to worry about him seeing her. He wouldn’t judge or stare if she asked him not to. That’s the whole reason she brought him, because she wanted company and she trusted his opinion. If she looked bad, she was sure he would tell her to keep her from embarrassment. 
In the dressing room, she slipped out of her casual clothes and threw the dress over her head, letting it fall down to rest against her body. The fabric was soft against her skin, and she felt herself running her fingers along the fabric, sighing at how delicate the material was. There wasn’t a design really, it was a pretty plain dress, but it fit perfectly. Usually clothes on fit right in one place and wrong in another, but this one wasn’t like that. She would have to see what it looked like with the zipper up.
“Hitoshi, can you come in?”
“What?”
“I need your help. My arms aren’t long enough to pull up the zipper,” she called to him again. Hesitantly, he stood from the little viewing bench and knocked on the door, which she had locked from the inside. She unlatched the little hook and cracked it open enough for him to slip in. 
Admittedly, he felt weird, being in the dressing room with her; it felt so foreign to him. He kept his eyes trailed on the wall, not daring to look at her incase she was at all indecent. If Shinsou Hitoshi knew how to do anything, it was respecting women. “So what did you need?”
“Just do the zipper the rest of the way. I only got it halfway up,” she told him, and he looked down at her. She stood facing away from him, and indeed half the zipper was open. Carefully, with as much finesse as he could muster, he pulled up the zipper without touching much of her bare skin. He did rest a hand on her shoulder though to hold the dress in place.
You’re just friends. This shouldn’t even be a problem for you, he thought. But it was a problem. He felt flustered and a bit bothered, if he were being completely honest. He was so distracted he didn’t even hear what she was saying until she shook his arm. 
“Yeah?”
“I said, how does this one look? It’s super comfortable, I have to say that.” First, she smoothed down the skirt and then she raised her arms slightly to her sides so he could see the whole thing. 
He almost choked. She looked amazing. He loved seeing her in whatever clothes she wanted to wear. Uniform, big sweaters, jeans, pyjamas, it didn’t matter, she looked equally amazing in everything. It’s just something about seeing someone you care about so much in fancy clothes that leaves you shocked and mouth agape. 
Subtly, he cleared his throat, and looked away from her. “Well, that’s settled. You’re gonna leave with that one.”
Y/N turned a bit in the mirror, checking herself and the dress out. It did look awfully nice on her, but she just couldn’t see herself wearing something so nice. She would probably think that about any dress she put on, and since Shinsou said he liked this one, it must be good. “Are you sure?”
He looked at her again, standing beside her so he could see her in the mirror as well. He ran a hand through his hair, and nodded. “Definitely. I don’t think you’ll find anything better than that one.”
“Really? What about this exact dress but in purple?” she laughed. 
“Okay, maybe.”
He turned to leave, so she could get dressed but she stopped him. “Wait, you gotta unzip it too.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
He walked up to stand behind her, his hands shaking only a little. He was surprised he wasn’t about to pass out. He rest one hand on her shoulder once again and the other pulled down the zipper slowly. It probably would have made it a lot easier on him if he just did it swiftly and then evaded the room immediately. Once it was down though, he was extremely quick to leave the room, undoing the latch, and sliding out of the room. 
“Are you okay, Hitoshi?” the girl asked, and from outside the room, he could hear her slipping the dress off and the cloth hitting the floor. 
Jesus Christ.
After a minute, the door unlatched and she walked out, carrying both the dresses on her arm. “Just have to put this one back and then we can get out of here,” she said, walking through the racks to hang up the second dress which she never even got the chance to try on. He was glad for that, as he didn’t have to go through that process again. He almost felt out of breath.
Why was he so immature? They weren’t little kids. She was his friend, and helping her put on her dress wasn’t anything to get worked up over. She was acting like everything was fine and nothing intimate just happened at all. It left him feeling almost ashamed with himself for overreacting. Clearly, she thought it was a normal thing.
As she bought her stuff at the counter, he shuffled awkwardly to the side. “Y/N, you wanna get something to eat after this?” Food would make him feel better. Carbs can do magic in almost all situations.
“Yes. Did you have anything in mind?”
“No, I thought I’d let you pick.” For a moment, she paused to exchange money with the lady at the counter. She hung the bag with her dress inside on her arm and turned to walk out of the store with her friend, who had his hands now shoved deep in his jacket pockets.
“Fried chicken,” she asked hopefully, looking up to him. 
“Sure. You find us a table while I go and get the food,” he told her, and she could only nod in agreement. It was fucking hard to find a table in these crowded malls. Slowly, her eyes scanned the room and the dozens of people gathered around the tables eating their meals of choice. Finally, out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted a table with only one chair and some trash sitting on it, but that was as good as they were gonna get. She walked over and picked up the leftover tray and tossed it in the trash a couple feet away. 
“Excuse me, can I borrow one of these chairs?” she asked the table beside them with a couple extra chairs around, and they nodded, but their subtle glares told her she was bothering them. She cringed, but still dragged the chair over and took a seat. Her eyes wandered back over to Shinsou, who was waiting in line, but surprisingly, there was a girl standing right beside him. She was way too far away to hear what they were speaking about, but the girl seemed to be talking up a storm. 
Maybe he knew her.
Damn, she sure is pretty, Y/N thought. Why did Shinsou know such a beautiful lady? He could talk to whoever he wanted, it wasn’t her place to say anything, she was just curious. Really, really, curious. So, she buried her nose in her phone to avoid those thoughts. Shinsou was free to talk to whoever he wanted. 
It was fine, whatever. 
Really. 
Y/N couldn’t care less. 
...
Okay, so (not) secretly, she cared a fuck ton.
After a while, she heard the chair across from her scratch against the floor and a tray be placed in the middle of the table. “Y/N, what are you looking at so angrily over there?” he asked, and she looked up from her phone, bewildered. Was she glaring at her own phone, where she was just looking at memes?
“Oh, uh, nothing. Thanks for the food. I could have paid my share.”
He raised a brow, clearly confused. She never turned down free food. Not once. Who does that? “Why? I offered anyway.”
“I know, but like...Well, I don’t know. I guess you’re right.” She took a bite of her food, but it didn’t taste very good. Instead, it just tasted bitter, like how she was feeling. 
“Seriously, what’s up with you?”
“It’s nothing,” Y/N said calmly, adding, “I’m just curious who that girl was you were talking to.”
He thought for a moment before remembering. He’d completely forgotten that some lady tried talking to him. She was so insignificant that he just pushed it from his mind. He had better things to think about. He replied casually, “Oh, her? I don’t even know. She just came up to me and started talking to me.”
“About what?” 
He shrugged. He didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t even think Y/N noticed her come up to him, nor did he think she would care. “Well, quite frankly, she was flirting with me, I think. She asked for my phone number and stuff…” Really, he didn’t think it was that big of a deal. 
She felt her skin turn hot with anger, and even some embarrassment. Anyone could flirt with him, it didn’t matter to her how many girls he had on his phone. It wasn’t even her business. He could have a girlfriend and she couldn’t do shit about it. He was her friend, and she had to support him. 
Only, that was easier said than done.
“Did you give her your number?”
“No, actually I told her to fuck off and leave me alone,” he answered, very bluntly at that. “Are you okay? You sound like you’re mad with me now.”
She shook her head, frustrated that she let her emotions show through so much. She was never good at that kind of thing, but she wished she could have avoided this entire conversation all together. “I’m fine. It doesn’t even matter, let's just eat.”
“Are you...Shit, are you jealous?” he asked. His lips turned up in a grin, seeing her face morph into one of a person who has been caught red handed. Deer in the headlights sort of expression. He found it funny. He didn’t really care if she was jealous, of what exactly, he didn’t know. He just thought it was so incredibly hilarious that she was.
“N-No!”
“You definitely are.”
“And so what if I am?” she huffed, shoving a couple french fries into her mouth angrily. 
“Nothing really. I’m just surprised,” he teased, “Are you not getting enough attention, Y/N?”
“Shinsou, shut up! Now you’re just making fun of me!” she cried, covering her face with her hands. 
He smiled, watching as he squirmed in her seat. She was so cute. He was having fun, just sitting here in this food court was actually a ton of fun for him, and for him any kind of fun was pretty rare. She kept putting french fries in her mouth to hide how she was pouting and how she couldn’t even look him in the eye. He noticed, and it only made his smile last longer. 
Dammit, he loved her.
________________________________
Y/N sat at her desk, packing up her books and pens into her book bag. Class was over for the day, which meant she would go to the dorms and do her homework. A few days out of the week, Shinsou would go to train with his mentor, and today just happened to be that day. 
“So, you have training today with Aizawa-sensei?” she asked.
He shook his head as he leant against her desk, waiting for her to be done. “Not today, he’s out sick.”
“Oh, good. You can help me with my homework then.” She stood up from her desk and slung her bag over her shoulder. “You’re so smart, I’m jealous. I wish it was that easy for me.”
“You’re smart, just in a different way, Y/N.”
“Oh, yeah? What way? I’m stupid at everything.”
“You’re really good at picking friends.”
She laughed, pushing on his shoulder. Of course he would say that. He was never confident, in fact, he kinda hated himself. Most high schoolers do. But it was easy to crack jokes like that, and she always enjoyed them. It made him feel better about himself at the same time. To affirm time and time again that he was a good friend, good for her at least. Other friends he’d had before just ditched him because they didn’t like him. 
Just as she walked out the door into the hall, the purple haired boy following closely behind, another student from their class approached them, his hand tucked behind his back. She didn’t really know him all that much. His quirk was very insignificant, and he didn’t have much of a personality either. 
Truly though, when she was in class, she didn’t see anyone but the professor and Shinsou. It was pretty simple.
“Bakugo-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Um, sure, Tanaka. Is there something you needed?”
His eyes slid over to the tall, brooding figure behind her, who just stared off into space pretty mindlessly. She noticed the boy looking, but didn’t think much of it. Shinsou was fine there.
“Go ahead,” she said, and he snapped out of his daze.
“You see, I’ve been watching you since the beginning of the school year. I think you are the most beautiful and kind person I’ve ever met,” he confessed, his words nearly slurring together as he spoke so fast. She blinked, not expecting a confession from the boy, or anyone for that matter. She swore they had only spoken maybe two times, maximum. Why would he like her?
Shinsou looked over now from the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to make the kid uncomfortable. He wasn’t a bad guy, just another student trying to become the best they could be. Yet, he really, really hated hearing someone else talk that way about her. He was almost sure only he thought those things about Y/N; how beautiful she was, kind, strong, smart, and perfect. Now it seemed other people did as well? The thought of other people...fantasizing about his sweet friend made him feel sick to his stomach.
Then, much to her displeasure, the boy pulled out a small bouquet of flowers that were obviously picked from outside in the courtyard as they were mostly a mix of weeds and leaves. He shoved them in her direction, urging her to take them. Reluctantly, the plants found their way into her hands. “I really hope you like the flowers. I tried to pick the colors that would compliment your eyes.”
Wow, okay. 
“Thank you, Tanaka-kun. They sure are pretty,” she said. Desperately, she wanted to just run away and pretend this encounter never happened. She never thought this would happen to her of all people. A loser like her. 
“If you aren’t dating anyone else, I would like to take you on a date this weekend. We can go anywhere you want,” he asked hopefully, his eyes full of anticipation and yearning. “Please, you won’t regret it. I’ll make you so happy, Bakugo-chan. Please.”
Oh, God, he was begging. 
“I’m sorry, but you should take these flowers back and give them to some other girl,” Y/N said as gently as she could, taking the boy’s hand to place the flowers into his palm. Immediately, the boy’s face crumbled, and his cheeks turned a bright shade of red. She felt so terrible for embarrassing him this way. “I’m really not the girl for you. My heart belongs to someone else, so I could never feel the same way for you.”
“I see,” he sighed. The boy’s eyes slid up to enviously glare at Shinsou, who looked right back with a vengeance. Everyone knew who Y/N really wanted. Maybe just maybe, the pair were only friends like they claimed. Tanaka was praying the entire day that she would accept his offer and leave Shinsou behind. “You’re a good girl, aren’t you? I just can’t understand why you’d fall in love with a villain like him.”
Shinsou felt his heart fall to the bottom of his stomach at those words. He closed his eyes and tried not to think much about it, but memories of those bullies in middle school just came back into his mind in full color. He felt that sense of dread hang over his head. 
“Excuse me?”
“He’s a monster! All he does is manipulate people to do what he wants. The only reason you love him is because he brainwashed you!”
Shinsou rarely felt like he might cry, but this was one of those moments. It was one thing for people to call him a monster in front of strangers, but he felt worse knowing that he was saying this to Y/N. She somehow avoided hearing all those insults and accusations until now, and suddenly he felt like his head was benign held under water, completely hopeless and weak. Y/N wouldn’t just betray him like that, trust this guys word over his own, he knew that for sure. He just felt so overwhelmed with shame. It made him feel terrible that people actually believed the only reason she was friends with him was because he brainwashed her. Couldn’t he have nice things as well?
He never wanted her to see this side of him, the side people perceived him as. He wanted to run away to his dorm and never leave the room again. What was the point now that he knew people thought of him like that still. 
Y/N, much to everyone’s surprise, raised her hand and slapped their fellow student right across the face. “Fuck you!”
“Y/N-”
“Shut up, Shinsou.”
The boy who was slapped put his hand on his cheek and stared up at her in shock. She was so gentle and sweet most of the time. How could she slap him like that, enough to leave a mark? His precious and sweet crush. 
“You call this boy a monster again, and I will beat your ass, do you hear me?” she commanded, and when he didn’t reply, she shoved on his shoulder. He stumbled back, nearly falling into the wall on the other side of the hall. “I said, did you hear me?”
“Y-yes.”
“Shinsou Hitoshi is more of a man than you will ever be. Men don’t stoop to insulting others insecurities just because a pretty girl rejected him. Boo hoo, get a grip. You will never be half the hero Shinsou is,” she told him bitterly, glaring through narrowed eyes. Maybe she was being a bit harsh, she didn’t care. If it was one thing she learned from Katsuki, it was how to defend the people you love (even if it’s unnecessarily mean). Perhaps, she learned a bit too much from the blond...
She stepped back, letting her arms fall to her sides. “If I ever hear my name or Shinsou’s come out of your mouth again, I will not hesitate.”
He nodded, grabbing his bag off the floor and turning to run down the hall in the other direction. She brushed a few loose strands of hair from her eyes and sighed, letting her shoulders finally sink into a relaxed state again. It had been a long time since she felt such pure rage burn in her heart. Normally, there was rarely a time someone bothered her enough to make her angry. It just wasn’t who she was. 
Hearing those words about Shinsou sent her over the edge. No one would talk about him that way. Nobody, and she would make sure of it.
“Let’s go.” Her footsteps were practically stomps as she walked down the hall, her friend following close behind. “I can’t believe someone would have the nerve to say something like that to me about you? Like, who does he think he is?” Y/N grumbled, clenching and unclenching her fists by her side. 
“Really, Y/N, you didn’t have to do that. I used to hear that stuff all the time.”
“Exactly! No one deserves to be treated like that, and you’ve already experienced far more than anyone should,” she told him. “He really tried to ask me out and then right after tried to talk shit about you. What an ass. Some boys just can’t take rejection, can they?.”
He only watched as she kept walking, but he didn’t feel like saying much. She was in too bad of a mood to reason with. He never imagined her acting like that. Even when they were training, she never got angry or even frustrated. She was so calm and gentle. For a moment there, she sounded exactly like her brother. It scared him, to be honest. 
He appreciated her defending him though. It was the most anyone had done to stand up for him.
Worrying about her and his quirk completely washed away the fact that she admitted to loving him. It seemed that would be the topic of discussion another day.
________________________________
“Come on, come on. It’s almost starting!” Y/N rushed up the stairs, tugging Shinsou by the hand up . He was tired. He didn’t really have the time or energy to watch this firework show she was so excited to see. Still, he did it for her since she’d been waiting for weeks for it. 
No U.A. students were allowed to dress up in their formal wear and go to the shrines like everyone else on New Years, since big crowds could pose a danger to the students' safety. Instead, groups of students from different classes gathered up some snacks on the roofs of their own family houses to watch the fireworks at the shrine a mile or so away. She had a bag full of her favorite drink, fruit milk, on her arm, eager to binge and drink it all. She would probably make herself sick, but it's like that sometimes.. 
“Five minutes until midnight,” she muttered. She pushed open the attic window and slid through onto the roof, and was met with emptiness. Only a few small groups of friends were spaced out pretty far and few in between on their class building. She walked over to the side in the direction of the shrine, and sat down on the bench. Her milk plopped down onto the spot beside her.
Shinsou silently took a seat beside her. He checked his phone. Only a couple more minutes. He couldn’t understand for the life of him why she was so excited just for time to pass and some colored lights to go off in the distance. The noise was so loud though, he realized he wouldn’t have gotten much sleep that night anyway.
Happily, she popped the cap off a banana milk and took a long sip. He took one from the bag as well, strawberry, and popped the cap. “Why are you so excited for this anyway, Y/N?”
“I-I don’t know. I just wanted to spend the holiday with you, and since we aren’t allowed back home for the holiday due to all those villain threats, I thought it would be a fun thing for the two of us to do together,” she told him. Honestly, she was just happy to spend more time with him. It felt so good, the cold air on her skin and the crickets chirping from the ground below. People around talked and laughed amongst their own groups. 
It was the perfect moment.
Shinsou knew about this tradition some people had on New Years. He was sure it was probably an American thing since All Might and Midoriya were talking about it. Apparently, you are supposed to kiss someone when the clock strikes midnight, and it grants you good luck for the rest of the year. 
He wouldn’t even attempt it. That was a complete invasion of her space. He just wanted her to enjoy the fireworks and her milk without any drama. Things had gotten a bit weird between them over the time they’d known each other. They were close, almost too close to be friendly. Other people clearly noticed; Bakugo, Aizawa, that boy from their class. Neither of them knew what to do about those feelings, so they just pretended they weren’t there, he supposed. It was easier that way.
That didn’t mean he didn’t want to kiss her. He definitely did 100 percent want that kiss. He just couldn’t take the risk. What if everyone was wrong this whole time? What if she only thought of him as a very close friend this whole time and he got the wrong idea. He didn’t know enough girls to know how they acted with their guy friends. 
He knew he was hopelessly in love. It used to scare him, the thought of being so attached to someone like that. Now, he just felt happy to have someone to hold in his heart. It didn’t matter much if she ever accepted his love. As long as he could hold her and see her smile, that was enough.
Soon enough, dozens of rainbow colored fireworks lit up the sky. The sound was dulled by the distance between them and the shrine, but it was still loud enough to dull Shinsou’s thoughts. He leaned back on the roof on one hand and the other lifted the strawberry milk to his lips, taking a sip. 
Another year flew by faster than he thought.  It was no doubt the best year of his life so far.
He didn’t even notice her begin to speak until she said his name. 
“Shinsou,” she exhaled. “I really wouldn’t mind spending every year with you.”
He looked over to her. Her face was illuminated in bright pinks and blues, and she had that ever present smile on her lips. How could one person look like that? All he ever wanted and more, the girl of his dreams? 
“I think I’d like that, too.”
“Would you really?” 
“If I got to spend every single day with you for the rest of my life, it still wouldn’t be enough for me.”
She took a deep breath, tilting her head back to stare up at the deep blue night sky above, only a couple shining stars to be seen. For a long time, she felt like it was inevitable that he would find out, and now seemed just as good as any. 
“You know, Hitoshi, I think I’m in love with you.”
His lips curled up into a smile. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, Y/N,” he confessed, “They say love at first sight isn’t real, but damn, it sure feels like it is.”
“God, why do you always know exactly what to say to make me feel like this,” she asked, placing her hand over her head and laughing. “Why are you so perfect?”
“I’m not. I’m perfect, but only for you.”
They sat beside each other in silence for a moment, taking in each other’s feelings. Her hand wormed over to rest on his, and he quickly intertwined their fingers. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. He could feel how warm her skin felt, and the smile on his face only grew. He would always remember this moment.
“Do you mind if I kiss you?”
“Please.”
And so, he got that kiss he wanted all along. Along with many, many more to follow. 
For the first time ever, he felt like he made the right choice. He’d finally done something worthwhile with his life. He met his Y/N.
Thank you for supporting me and have a lovely day.
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thedankfaerie · 4 years
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i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.
i need someone to hear what i feel
or at least, a free space to say what i feel 
im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.
last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you. 
 and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself. 
i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.
4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.
i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.
i cried.
i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time. 
a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive. 
but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’. 
a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once! 
after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.
and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately. 
with that being said, i gained the weight back.
not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.
cue covid.
i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class. 
but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.
im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.
i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’
because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.
i hate myself for getting back to this point. 
i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.
today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore. 
im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.
but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us. 
someone please help me. 
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TW everything maybe?
i want to rant to myself, i genuinely am tired of this. the notes app is fine but i mean this is my notes app now. im tired, of people, of dealing with things and emotions, of myself, of reality mostly. i always feel out of place, always literally every single time, i hate how its always as if im wearing a mask, waiting for the mask to fall off, then sitting in my room alone at night sad, because why couldn’t anyone see me? since this is a long rant and im a spoken essay addict, as im speaking this to myself, i will section this into ranting sections:
1) i hate myself. i hate everything about me, and not in a quirky outcast way, and not in the way that i Dont Acknowledge that im “loved” or whatever no, i hate myself because i know that whenever im “loved” it’s because im pretending to be what people like but in reality im disgusting and bored. i hate the way i talk and what i talk about how awkward i am. i hate that i stand in no where and fit in no place and i am as temporary as a stupid dress for some occasions. i hate how i look like and like aside from body like my smile sucks it’s wrapped to the side, my eyes are too small and my voice is too squeaky and breaks and gets too high sometimes. i hate that i only notice it when im back home. i hate where i live and how lazy and frustrating i am.. too bossy too hazy too weird.. im too much. too much.
2) i hate reality. i feel like im always less. and that feels shit because i also feel ungrateful because im not technically broke poor or unbearably ugly or in a completely broken family.. but they are also shit. i cant buy a single tshirt without contemplating how that will affect my budget. i though have to sit and watch people buy shit like money is water. i cant stand confidently or take a normal picture and will consider sewerslide if someone took my picture because i cant bare how ugly i am but to normal standards im “fine”. my parents are still together and they are alright to each other but i havent had a conversation with my dad like a full conversation apart from hello in approximately idk 5 years?? more? and we live in a 3 bedroom apartment together i see him everyday. i just dont actually see him do i? and my mom just shouts all day everyday until no end and then showers me with “care” then calls me selfish when i dont give it back or am not as active and happy as she is.. mental illness doesn’t exist here and i forget about that but reality is reality. not just mental health but actually everything doesnt exist here, dreams are wack and if i ever came out id be most definitely hunted. i cant travel anywhere because visas are actually a thing and i never can get any plus im broke. so my reality is.. forever alone in the closet wearing things i dont want to wear and saying things i dont mean and never having a family and never getting out of here.. i really should just d1e
3) i hate food. i hate myself before i hate food but i also hate food. i hate that im not skinny enough im not boney enough.. but im not sick enough i never was never will probably cuz im a coward. all my mental shit is in my brain, and sometimes i lay down just to imagine myself taking my insides out just to feel empty.. because im weak and i cant st@rve properly. i also dont taste food.. its been 3 and a half.. and food tastes like plastic to me.. i havent enjoyed a single meal in 3 and half years or even more honestly.. i cant fucking eat properly i just binge on plastic tasting things i want to rip myself apart.
4) i partially hate people around me. they arent bad people they are just good until im not what they want. until i dont play the role. until its no fun. good until im too mentally ill but no im faking that shit why such a bad mood, good until im too angry why am i such a rude person.. good until im not good enough. i also hate how jealous i get if they lose weight or if they are suffering because no i want to be the one that suffers the most.. i most probably deserve to just for thinking that. i like them i do and i care for them but it gets too much when im faced with my own ugliness that comes with dealing with people.
5) i loved my best friend. until she said that it never fucking mattered because it wasnt romance. i broke her heart but i too fucking hurt.. she liked me and thats alright and flattering but its not my fault i didnt feel the same. not my fault i dont want romance i can barely love anything. i dont want a girlfriend or the commitment or anything. it hurt because then was all her care and love just because she thought i liked her too.. just cause she thought she’d earn a lover? is this how it works? unconditional love my ass there was a condition they just trying to hide that cuz its too ugly to see the truth. i tried helping and being there and talking and communicating just because i never wanted to hurt her but no im the bad guy.. im the ugly ugly person and the toxic manipulator.. who also has their most known info about them that they never fall for friends and never take hints.. but ig no She Had To Be The Exception.. whatever im actually disappointed beyond belief.. i thought i can trust someone but ha ha fool is me.. no more trusting anyone everyone wants the mask on Everyone.
6) i hate my anger issues. it would be fine almost fine until something as minor as my brother touching my teddy bears and my anger rises like a fucking monster. why am i so angry all the time.. angry enough to st@b myself through the heart.. and it starts.. those stupid trials to stop being so angry that i get angrier and someone points it out and i get even more angrier and boom time to add barcodes to myself because i cant deal with the fucking anger.. and ok it would be fine at least if the anger was justified but no im just a bitch to everyone and moody as fuck and never can do anything because my brain doesnt work like ever.
in conclusion.. i as a whole am a creature that should’ve been de@d at least 3 years ago but didnt.. and now im just dealing with the fact that i wasnt. what a fucking nuisance. my whole existence is and the fact that im complaining in Parts about things mostly my own fault is insane. so ungrateful so unoriginal i must fucking end it i genuinely have to cuz this is too much. too fucking much and the future wont get me anywhere i should save my family the money.
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