#but I literally look pregnant

[femmefeedist]

Time for a new game called "Overfed or Knocked Up" starting this pic of me STANDING! UP!!!!

#the answer is stuffed #but I literally look pregnant #I think its the leggings #omfg #I was shook #stuffed belly #starter belly #stuffed girl

[anyahem]

trying to recover from an ed but every time i eat a normal amount of food i get so bloated i feel like i’m gonna spontaneously combust and die

#i do wanna have a normal relationship with food though so i will have to feel this way until my body gets used to it #but i literally look pregnant

[anotherpapercut]

genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into

you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"

many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally

lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll

#put punk in parantheses bc yall are hardcore straight edge at best lmao #goes to a punk show in someones basement and gasps when i see people snorting coke off each other in the corner #anyway heres your regular reminder from your friendly neighborhood drug addict that drugs can be and often are consumed safely #LSD‚ MDMA‚ psilocybin‚ cannabis of course‚ ketamine‚ coke‚ whippets. these are all drugs that i personally have used #and that are completely safe when used correctly and by someone who doesn't have some sort of allergy #even if someone is on a dangerous drug like meth or heroin you are not better than them #in fact theyre probably a lot chiller than your ass if youre still viewing drugs as a thing for 'degenerates' to do #literally can not hang out with non druggies anymore bc they cannot stop themselves from moralizing it #i mention that my vape has thc in it and i get That Look and a bunch of 'i would never smoke weed. i mean its fine. i just would NEVER' #i get it! you view drugs as a thing thats only for poor people or people who dont care about themselves or whatever #i call that the go ask alice effect. people will think you smoked weed then immediately had sex got pregnant and died of a heroin overdose #even when they think theyre being super progressive

[mushroomnoodles]

tw/cw sfw and non kink mpreg

spicy wizardbetty simon is definitely sure it's not him being sick now. he's been chalking up the tummy to him gaining weight from laying in bed all day and having a big appetite but the last few growth spurts have left him looking very. distinctly looking like hes something else.

something is very wrong with him, he thinks

#i have a mproblem #cw mpreg #tw mpreg #mpreg #simon petrikov mpreg #spicywizardbetty #his brain keeps saying “i look pregnant” but theres no way he could be #he hasnt done the hanky panky in literally a thousand years #betty hasnt seen the actual size of the bump yet bc hes in bed under the covers so much (her orders) #my style <3

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

i love a/b/o steddie where they get started like so young that if it was someone i knew irl i'd have a panic attack. like,, mated right out of high school, baby pops out a year later, they've got like five kids by the time they're 25

thinking about an au where they were already together pre- start of s4 and steve goes through the whole thing like three months pregnant. like he's stressed about the baby and eddie and eddie's SUPER stressed about the baby and steve, like eddie's trying to get steve to sit this one out for the baby and steve has to yell at him to stop bc yeah, he's worried about losing their first child, but if he sat at home while everyone else dealt with the upside down and someone didn't come back??? he'd never be able to live with himself

and when the bats get eddie and steve tries to use the mating bond to share some of eddie's pain, help him hold on until they get to the hospital, eddie weakly tries to tell him not to, to think of the baby. and steve's just. not having it. and once eddie wakes up from his medically induced coma he's like :(( why'd you do that and steve is just. so mad. he says yeah, if i had lost the baby (he doesn't, she's fine) that would have been the most terrible pain i'd ever felt. but it would have been worse if i lost you. and eddie's like. oh. bc maybe part of him has always been thinking that steve's only stuck with him bc he's the father of their kid. but no, steve loves him.

so eddie's crying, and steve's crying, and then steve shows eddie the ultrasound they did during eddie's coma to check the baby hadn't been hurt by the week of stress and danger and pain-sharing, and it's the first time they've been able to actually see the shape of a baby in all the weird white noise of an ultrasound, and now they're both crying even harder

#also nancy is definitely the friend that's like. oh you're 19 and married and pregnant?? that's so.. good! 🙃 yay im sure this will be fine🙃 #robin WAS that friend but she's spent too long in steddies proximity and has realised that if they don't work out theres no hope for anyone #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #just. steve finally letting go of the last shreds of his upbringing and becoming 'white trash' and being so SO happy #also me 🤝 eddie: understanding that steve must be kept barefoot and pregnant at all times #everyone's like wow steve your alpha has a problem dude clearly can't keep it in his pants #steve has to be like no actually *I* have the problem #they're that couple you look at and you're like. they know about birth control right. like they know that exists #eddie tried to wear a condom once and steve was like i'd literally rather die #and then he was like im joking obviously we can slow down or stop with the kids if u want this is a partnership #eddie's like oh no i just thought YOU might want to karen chewed me out for not letting you rest. but if ur cool let's gooooo

[quietwingsinthesky]

we’ve all said it before but ill say it again, sam should have gotten lucifer pregnant and that should have been the jack origin. if she was jessifer at the time, even better <3

#lucifer mommy truthing again hi hii he needs this #it won’t fix him it will make him worse but it’ll be hot to see sam tormented by the pregnant devil #☺️ sam going to attack jessifer and she goes ‘don’t you care about our baby Sam? don’t you want to meet him?’ #gets sam to touch her belly and talk to the baby and that’s when Jack does the whole ‘I’m The Perfect Paradise Baby Love Me 🥺🥺’ thing on sam #and now sam can’t kill her or their baby. he can’t. he loves jack too much. perhaps has also been hit with so many nephil happiness rays #that he looks up at lucifer and is like Oh. overwhelmed with sudden love for her. and his heads all mixed up. it’s like the vision where she #made him feel calm x1000 and. and. he loves her? he loves her doesn’t he? he gave her a baby and he loves her? #they’re going to raise their son together? and lucifer is so very pleased as sam presses his ear to her belly to hear jack’s heartbeat. #sam has quite literally been baby trapped. as in that baby set the trap and caught him in it before it was even sentient. mind control baby. #cue the rest of the pregnancy with lovestruck sam doing everything in his power to protect lucifer & jack #he’s like. fully aware he was scared of lucifer. that Lucifer is Bad this baby is Dangerous. but also. he loves them so much. #nothing else seems to matter when he loves them so much. #<3 I think Sam deserves to be mindfucked into being Lucifer’s little househusband for a bit. #oh. there are places this could go after Jack is born uhm uh. i uhm. that’s not the point I won’t say that. #the point is sam getting brainwashed to be happier and protective of pregnant!lucifer. and he IS happier. he’s just also high on good vibes. #😳 lucifer riding sam with his hand on her belly 😳😳😳😳 #tw pregnancy #anyway. thoughts. #samifer #lucifer spn #Jess!lucifer #Jack kline #sam winchester

[yuridovewing]

sorry to post a negative wof thing but sometimes i remember the “morrowseer is moonwatcher’s dad but no one knows or cares, its just this quirky trivia thing” bit and get irrationally frustrated. like if you didnt have any ideas on what to do with that tui then you couldve just. not done it.

#it literally makes no sense why she shouldnt know beyond ‘’some stray thoughts her mom accidentally let out’’ either #like ok iirc secretkeeper was barring her own mind from her. however she did that #but youre telling me that No One Else ever thought about morrowseer and his crimes #none of the nightwings none of the rainwings no one ever thinks about the queens right hand man #who orchestrated crimes against dragonkind and ruined so many lives or was a hero to some of them #no ones ever spared that guy a second thought? #or like- did no one know secretkeeper was morrowseers wife? did no one connect the dots that her secret baby was probably morrowseers secret #secret baby? its not like no one knew she was pregnant with his kid right??? #NO ONE that ever looked at moon and directed hostile thoughts abt her that affected her self worth ever went ‘’oh shes morrowseers baby #of course SHE was spared our same trauma’’ #NO ONE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT HIS CRIMES???? NOT A SINGLE ONE??? #wouldnt this contribute to her mistreatment and anxiety since he used his supposed power to hurt and manipulate people?? #but…. no tee hee its this silly little bit of trivia we wont delve into #like. again…. you didnt HAVE to make morrowseer her dad!! #like it comes across like tui came up with the idea of having the new protag be related to the previous antagonist and thought it was cool #but then didnt have any real ideas beyond that so she just made it this weird unspoken ironic fact? #like…. no i dont think its this ironic scene that she finds his literal corpse in the volcano and doesnt know its him #and doesnt seem that horrified by it #she should see that and feel incredibly complicated and disgusted feelings

[simgerale]

what does it mean when you’ve never had a dream about your future children and then you have baby dream and you can vividly remember what your son looked like, when no other people in your dreams seem to have faces

#woke up this morning and obviously went through this lol #it felt so special. I have never had a baby dream before. I know I want children but we want to wait a few years #and I can’t be pregnant (literally can’t right now—don’t want to go into that but physically impossible) so ?? just my heart ??? #Telling me what I want?? #he had bright blue/green eyes. #(blue eyes is in the family but we don’t have blue eyes) #squishy face #and he was quiet and sleepy #looked like he took after his dad #….fell in love #nonsims #mommas out there: is this the start of baby fever ?

[bbeelzemon]

this cat at petco looks exactly like our cat squid. his name is vlad

#perhaps farfetched. but. considering squid was a stray who was pregnant + gave birth + her kittens already adopted out before we got her #and we're within like 10 miles of where squid was found + adopted out from #he could literally be related to squid. if not one of her own kittens then maybe brother or even dad #they have the same exact eyes and nose and size and fur minus the fact that vlad has like one gray patch on his chest #you can kiiinda see it here but i didnt really get any closer pictures than this #squid is so much like a guy to me it felt like i was photographing a person instead of an animal i didnt want to invade his privacy. #he literally didnt give a shit about anything he just stared and blinked at me the whole time #squid is also extremely chill exactly like that so theres another point for the fringe theory 'what if this guy is related to my guy' #idk squid is such a distinctive looking cat to me it was just so uncanny seeing another one look so similar to her

[sweetsweetbumblebee]

i think id let him give me a baby

#🍯 #its 4 am and im unhinged #he literally physically cannot do that #but i still want him to #i dont even want kids but if he looked at me n asked to get me pregnant id say yes #its been. not even 3 months. whats up w me #my shark

[pregtboy]

stuffing a skinny, narrow-hipped boy so full of so many babies that the span of his hips becomes wide enough to get stuck in doorways, and after nine months of carrying all those babies and eventually giving birth to them he'll never be able to brag about his slender hips again

#txt #mine #boy #pregnancy kink #tmpreg #multiples #boys with enormous hips are the cutest like awww your body was literally made to push out baby after baby and it shows 🥺 #boys with huge breeding hips deserve big ol heavy baby bellies to rest between them! #love a boy whose fertile body tells you everything you need to know about him #like awww shhh baby i already know you wanna be kept constantly pregnant #you don't even need to tell me i can already tell just by looking at those childbearing hips #dom pov #btw this ain't d3trans. boys w big hips are still boys

[kradogsrats]

Since we already saw past!viren when he resolves his dark magic nightmare in book 5, do you think Soren’s blonde hair could be from a skipped generation from one of his parents’ ancestry

LMAO GOD okay so I'm personally a blond Viren truther and I will die on that hill, so you have opened a real can of worms

A lot of people seem to cite Soren's hair as the reason Lissa "must" be blond, but hair color is determined by a huge amount of very complex genetic factors. Like literally hundreds of genes. It's genetically possible for two people to have a child with pretty much any hair color, regardless of the parents' coloration.

Additionally, what actually creates the color of hair that we perceive is the ratio of two different types of melanin, one that affects the "darkness" of the color, and one that affects the "warmth" (redness, basically). Blond hair can have any ratio of these melanins in very low amounts, because what creates blond hair is just lack of melanin. From there, you also have the fact that melanin production overall tends to increase with age, at least up to maturity—babies' eye color frequently appears to "change" because they start producing more melanin, for example. Blond, particularly very light platinum or golden blond, is considered a "youthful" or desirably rare color on adults (at least in the US/European-influenced West), because it's less common than it is in children. Many kids that start out blond have significantly darker hair by the time they're 18-20, whether it's just a much darker blond or a color that would be characterized as brown, instead. As a kid with hair so blond it was practically white when I was very young, my hair was about the shade known extremely attractively as "dirty" or "dishwater" blond when I hit my 20s, and by the time I was in my 30s... yeah, it's brown. (Meanwhile Spouse is still blond, and in fact is the lone blond from an otherwise brown-haired family.)

Past Viren looks to me to be around?? 20???? or so????? but it's a cartoon so who knows, really. You could probably crank that up 5-8 years or down maybe two. Either way, "Viren was blond into his early teens" is a reasonable stance to take. It's definitely also possible that one or both of his parents was blond. (I imagine his mother as blond, personally.)

Also like... idk man, but Claudia and Viren just have almost nothing in common features-wise besides "not blond," while Soren has an extremely similar facial structure to Viren's throughout. I just think it makes more sense that Claudia is practically a copy of Lissa and Soren takes after Viren.

but hurrrr fantasy nordic people are always blond and del bar is literally just skyrim logic i guess

#what i do think skipped a generation: claudia smol #... relatively speaking like i realize she's 5'9" or whatever #but she's got the most slim and idk waif-ish body in the entire cast #and i'm reeeEEEEAL tired of all these tiny mums so fuck you my lissa is comparatively thicc #like for god's sake give some of these people bodies that look like MAYBE they were pregnant once????? #janai's literally the only one who has any goddamn hips #... anyway #lissa #viren #soren #claudia

[angelsdean]

not enough human AU fics take advantage of the concept of casifer by making lucifer be cas's identical twin brother. enough nice AU twin jimmy, let cas have a literal evil twin wreaking havoc on his life

#lucifer poses as cas and tries to cause problems in his relationship w/ dean #dean doesn't know cas has an identical twin bc cas does not speak of lucifer #and then one day dean conveniently sees ''cas'' w/ someone else and thinks cas is cheating #luc is doing all this on purpose of course #or lucifer has been in jail for years but then breaks out / gets out on parole and cas doesn't know abt it bc he's cut ties w/ his family #and then lucifer shows up to mess w/ cas's life (maybe cas is the reason he was in jail) #ALSO. AUs where identical twin lucifer gets kelly pregnant and kelly dies lucifer is in jail and cas is left to raise jack #and jack literally biologically looks just like him bc identical twins !!!! #there's so much potential why are we not tapping into that potential #i actually have a fic outline for the last one. it's a deancas single dads AU and cas is raising jack and dean thinks jack is his son #bc he literally looks just like cas #vic.txt

[worstloki]

it's always "jotun are intersex and can get pregnant" and never "asgardians are intersex and can get pregnant" as if the asgardians aren't supposed to be peak performance. if they're so peak performance they should be outfitted compatible to have kids with as many other similar species i think.

#like even if you go 'aesir aren't like that' just give thor some vanir genes #it's not difficult #thor literally has fertility under his list of THINGS but i still struggle to find intersex thor fics that aren't PWP #no hate on them of course but like how come when Thor ends up being a quarter jotun he doesn't get to be intersex #it's always loki lmao #like my dude loki is ALREADY a shapeshifter ! he doesn't always need your myths-to-comics logic of Laufey being Loki's mom #i promise you can have loki being pregnant regardless #can we look into how being intersex might impact Asgardian values and more importantly: Thor #fics will have Jotun Thor and still make Loki intersex for child purposes fr T-T #fics will have Thor being the consort and not the one carrying the kids T-T #please XD

[widevibratobitch]

my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant

#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're #*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :(((( #no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying #in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3 #anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast #was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer #and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest. #earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went #*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫' #and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical #like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs #and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs #but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit #let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3 #and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down #the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me #if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like #the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures #like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh #like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall #not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me #trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :))))))) #like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks #But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333 #like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj #you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33 #but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday #but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!

[livelybook]

Me deep in my depression era going hypothetically if I did have money, shouldn't I go get treatment meds/therapy

And out of nowhere, the long lost voice of an extremist anti goverment conspirator went nah with the way the economy is right now, you don't want to have any of your personal informations and issues on record anywhere

#Like it's a thing now to seek treatment and be open about it #Instead of back then when mental health issues were not real and you have to wallow in yourself like your parents and their parents did #Until you strongarmed yourself into carrying on #Which I am very grateful is a thing of the past #But how is it that anti goverment conspiracies have come back with a resurgence #Cause like I saw a few days ago that several period tracker apps are now openly selling your information to the goverment #Like literal drug informants for the goverment to then track who is pregnant and/or having abortions #And now they're coming for no fault marriages #Next is taking away voting from everyone who doesn't look like them #And well #They've always had their foot on the neck of everything lgbt #So there's going to be escalation on that #And I am very sure the next thing is gonna be mental health issues #And it's like if I #A 20 year old something can see this everyone can so how are they getting away with starting this