#but I liked the group stage era better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

makur0 · 1 year

Text

Melting Innocence, Rouge Heat, Tainted Soul

synopsis — if putting on an alluring performance wasn't enough for the two members of Adam, you certainly will fulfill their desires on Valentines Day. [nagisa ran x fem! reader x ibara saegusa]

content warnings — nsfw, mdni. sub! reader, hard dom! ibara, dom! nagisa, semi-exhibitionism, dirty talk, penetration, creampie, oral, cursing, stomach bulge, breeding, slightly rushed end

author's note — part one of valentine's fest! god i want to be sandwiched between these two it isn't funny. (and surprisingly... writing to character AI's really helps my burnt out era)

word count — 2347

"HON, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SEE ADAM'S PERFORMANCE?"

Anzu turns to you, her head tilted. You finally look up from your paperwork, blinking. "...huh?"

The lead producer sighs, reaching over to close your computer. "[name], Adam? The sub-unit you produce for? Nagisa and Ibara?"

You seem dazed, not processing her words before finally jolting. "A-ah, yes! Their Valentine's Day-themed live, right? Yes, I'll be there... I think..."

You sigh, running your fingers through your hair. "I don't know, Anzu. I have too much work to even take half an hour out of my time... but then again, I was the head of this project, I should at least enjoy it..." You look so conflicted with yourself, Anzu sighs.

"Darling, [name]," The brunette tuts, bringing you up to your feet. "Go, I got the rest."

"But-"

"Shut- no. That's an order," She says sternly, and you finally yield, nodding. At this Anzu looks pleased that she finally convinced you to take a much-needed break. "Good... now, go before they start."

You quickly run out of the office, and as you leave Anzu alone, she smiles to herself slightly.

Besides... Nagisa and Ibara would be extremely dissapointed that their 'main audience' won't even be there...

---

You quickly make it to the Producer's section of the auditorium, meeting many other of your co-workers who are excitedly waiting for the performance. Unlike you, they came solely to... ah, simp for the two members of the popular unit Eden, Nagisa Ran and Ibara Saegusa. You didn't even recognize half of them from the project, which you sigh at. You laugh at yourself- the head of the project showing the least 'interest'...?

You take your seat away from the horny group, making yourself comfortable. Minutes before the Live starts, your phone buzzes: it's Ibara.

Ibara: Are you here? I would be gravely disappointed if you weren't.

You sigh through your nose, texting back a short, 'Yes' before shutting your phone down. Ibara should know better than to text you right before his own performance.

Finally, the lights turn off, and the stage lights up. You can't help but swell in pride of how intricate the stage is, thanks to your designing. As the two members of Adam had requested, you tied it along with their song as well as you could... as well as some suggestions that were strangely what you like...

You had decided not to look into it deeply, instead following Adam's requests.

As Ibara and Nagisa descend, somehow they quickly find you in the crowd, both sending you an unreadable look as they start the performance...

Your breath was caught in your throat.

You had no idea how... uh. Hot their vocals and choreography was.

As the head of the project, you were surprisingly only in charge of the setup of the stage and the light coordination. Then again, Ibara had requested that you pull your full attention on that...

You felt yourself heating up at the lyrics, mesmerized by their movements. If you were in a more attentive mindset, you would have noticed that they were constantly stealing glances towards you. But, paired with overall tiredness, your flustered state did not help at all.

You started to overthink as the Live carried on. They have been sending me mixed signals... No, how could they possibly fancy me? Both of them? I'm just their producer, nothing else...

So why do I feel so uncomfortably hot?

It felt like an eternity, but Adam was finally done with their performance. To say the least, you were proud of yet another successful performance, but so many other emotions were mixed into the mess... confusion, flattery, embarrassment...

Not long after Adam left the stage you feel your phone buzz again.

Ibara: Come meet us at our dressing room.

You can't- don't think much of it as you rush off before the other producers could disgust you of their horny talk, walking through the cold halls as you find Adam's dressing room. You frown, as the door stands ajar and the room is dark inside.

Funny... maybe they got another dressing room? Or did they just leave earlier?

You walk into the dressing room, completely unaware of what was about to happen...

The door shuts as your vision is obscured by the darkness of the room, and you even hear the door lock click as you feel arms wrap around you tightly. "H-hey-!?"

"Shh." It's Nagisa. "...It's just us."

A groan from another man, Ibara you realize, interrupts Nagisa. "Your Highness, I thought we agreed to keep our identities a secret as a special touch."

"...My bad."

With the little light in the room, you see Ibara's glasses reflected in it. Otherwise, he was completely invisible in the darkness. "Dear Producer, what did you think of our performance...?"

You hear his footsteps walk up towards you, and his pair of arms hook under your own and lift you up. Nagisa's body acts as a chair for you as you feel hot breath on both your neck and face... feeling yourself heat up, you completely disregard the previous question thrown at you.

Ibara tsks at your lack of response. "Hm. It looks like the cat has already got her tongue, Your Highness..."

"...I was hoping to be the first one to get her tongue."

"W-what on earth is going on?" You finally manage to get out, squirming although Nagisa's hold around you is strong, tight. "Ibara-san, Nagisa-san, is that you?"

Ibara chuckles. "Indeed it is, dear producer! I am quite glad that you had decided to attend our Live, as my plan would be in complete shambles if you haven't..."

"Plan-?"

Nagisa interrupts you, groaning. "Ibara, make it quick. I can't resist any longer."

The said male exhales. "If you insist.

"As I was saying... tonight is Valentine's day, as you're aware. And also... you seem to have been ignoring our rather obvious calls for you.

"So, we decided, tonight, we shall-"

Ibara is interrupted by your yelp, as you suddenly feel Nagisa bite down your neck, humming. The pain is brief, as he lets go as soon as he bites down, kissing the flushing mark now.

Based on his voice, Ibara is annoyed. "Your Highness, couldn't you have waited a bit longer?"

"...Mm. No." Nagisa quite plainly says, nibbling on your ear. "With her right in my grasp... I couldn't resist any longer."

The younger male sighs, then finally light filters into the room, although red(?) and dimly lit. It's not enough to blind you, just enough to see the two figures starting to swarm around you. "W-what?"

Now it's Nagisa's turn to be annoyed, as you seem to flinch away from him. "We're not going to hurt you... just simply show our want for you.

"We're quite endeared with you, little [name]. I'm quite surprised you haven't caught onto our advances..."

You stutter as Ibara suddenly sits on your own lap, and you're soon sandwiched between the two already-sweaty men, from their performance. Your head is yanked forward as Ibara takes your lips greedily, all signs of courtesy now gone as he seems to have also lost patience to reason with you. As he sees that you're not pulling away, he continues to ravish your lips, groaning softly. You still feel Nagisa's breath on your neck, watching him softly kiss all your tender spots and grinning to himself as he sees you flinch every single time.

"Mm... finally." Ibara finally breaks the long kiss, leaving you gasping like a fish out of water. "You taste just as I predicted... sultry, yet sweet."

You feel your body heat up at his comment... how long have they've been trying to pin your attention? A week? Month? Months?

You thought it was just you, pining for the two handsome idols. When in full retrospect, you weren't the only one satisfied with just the work-acquaintance relationship.

Both Nagisa and Ibara's advances and touches on you become more rushed, heated, the longer you let them do as they please. Even without you saying it, your complete submissiveness tells them loud and clear:

You like this too.

Ibara curses under his breath, shifting as his pants grow tight. "Nagisa," He completely disregards his usual title for the older male. "Lay them down. I'm getting too damn impatient now."

The said idol obliges quite easily, letting you go of his tight hold and setting you down on the wide, long couch. Usually having... ahem, sex on a couch was rather uncomfortable, but it seems that this piece of furniture would suffice well for the three of you... you wonder if they planned this deliberately.

As soon as your set down Ibara immediately hovers over you, Nagisa taking a seat near your head. As the maroon-haired male props his elbows on either side of your head, he leans dangerously close, looking quite... tempting even as his glasses slightly slide down his nose.

"Do you want to know why I didn't allow you to know about the music or the choreography?"

"..."

Ibara hums. "...well, it would just ruin this night even more for us. If you haven't connected the dots yet... those lyrics?

"About this night. About you."

You blink, your cheeks heating up profusely. "...H-how long have you've been trying to- ahem."

Nagisa speaks up. "Around a month..."

Oh dear.

The younger idol shakes his head. "The past doesn't matter now. You're here in our clutches now... god, I can't wait to just ruin you..."

He flips you over on your stomach, forcing your legs up so that your ass is in the air. You let out a faint squeak, reddening even more as your face is quite close to Nagisa's pelvis... quite close to the rather large tent in his pants.

The cold air hitting your bare ass barely bothers you as Nagisa lifts your head up slowly, shifting to his knees as he gets ready to use your mouth. As he tantalizingly takes off his pants, you feel Ibara's fingers prod at your hole, chuckling as he feels that it's decently wet... he needs it soaking, though. He's not going to just rail you for hours to start with a measly arousal.

Your whimpers are soon muffled as you slowly sink your mouth down on Nagisa's now-exposed cock, the tip angry red as the veins bulge. You barely make it halfway before you start struggling, your hands clenching onto the sofa fabric.

Ibara's fingers make their way into your hole, abusing your poor cunt as he quickly brings you to a high. You moan around Nagisa's cock, shivering as you hit your first orgasm for the night... but certainly not the last, far from it. Ibara seems to finger-fuck you faster, relishing your now-twitching finger and muffled whines. Nagisa lets out a pleased sigh, his head bobbing back as his fingers thread your hair as your moans vibrate his cock.

You're pushed into another orgasm again, making your moans more frequent and louder. Nagisa seems to lose his composure, gripping your hair and shoving his entire length down your throat. You choke violently, gagging as hot tears run down your cheeks as you moan shamelessly, being used as nothing but a toy for the two idols.

"God," Ibara curses, scooping up your arousal to taste it. "A little part of me wanted to fuck you on that couch on the stage, right in front of everybody.... what would you think of that, your Highness?"

"..."

Ibara sighs, looking down back at you. "Nevermind... besides, you're already here. Why should I wish for anything better? Public or not, we're still going to ruin you..."

Nagisa lets out a soft groan, pelvis jerking as he comes down your throat. You gag loudly, clutching the sofa as you feel the hot liquid go down your throat. There was so much, too much... your gag reflex triggers, and you feel yourself choking back up some of Nagisa's cum, staining your lips.

The male seems satisfied with your reaction, pulling away from your mouth and wiping your lips clean with a kiss. Just as he finishes, Ibara is taking his pants and boxers off, ready to enter his shaft into you.

He slips into you easily with a groan, your own mewl pairing perfectly. Nagisa watches with piercing eyes as you're propelled forward by Ibara's force, fucking into you erratically without giving you a change to adjust to his size. Your moans are loud, unhinged, and watery due to the previous blowjob. Your hips are about to collapse, but Ibara keeps a death-grip on them, definitely bruising them. Small groans leaves the idol, his glasses slipping further down his nose as he pounds your tight cunt.

You wail loudly, clutching onto Nagisa's thighs in front of you and leaving small crescents into his skin from your nails. Seeing you get railed so effortlessly has Nagisa heating up again, his sex hardening once more. "..."

"Fuck- you're so tight," Ibara laughs breathlessly, picking up his pace just to hear you moan even more. "How many loads will it take before you're leaking with our seed, huh dear producer?"

You whimper at that, clenching around his length. "I- I'm not sure..."

Ibara smirks at Nagisa. "Let's experiment then, shall we?"

---

It took only two loads to fill you to the brim, but the two didn't stop there.

Pounding into you, biting your skin and marking it up, abusing your poor clit and cunt, you were left a mess when they were done with you hours later. Your sex was puffy and leaking with their mixed seed, your stomach even slightly bulging of how much they managed to keep inside you. You're dazed, hazy as they managed to haul you out of the dressing room without being caught.

Nagisa looks at your dumb state. "...Can we do this again, Ibara?"

The said idol barks out a laugh. "Why, of course! You enjoyed this as much as I did, no? Just filling her up makes me so aroused~"

"...I filled her up more."

"No you didn't, Nagisa. Shut up.

Taglist: @ciderwebs @himeru-soulmate @ibaraluvr

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars smut #ensemble stars smut #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #ibara saegusa #ibara saegusa x reader #ibara saegusa smut #nagisa ran #nagisa ran x reader #nagisa ran smut #valentines day part one #WOO

495 notes · View notes

malina-33 · 9 months

Text

Femme Like You - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27 y.o.), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.

Word count: 10,2k

Warnings: swearing, emotional swing (is it even a warning?), kind of voyeurism (slight), age gap

A/N: Dear friends, hi!! I know, I know that I've promised you to update the fic every 3 weeks, and the disappeared for 1.5 months, but I spontaneously found a job, so there was very little time. But the chapter is much longer and with some interesting collaborations ;) I'll hope you enjoy them!

And write down what do you think if I make a description of not only the whole work, but also the chapter before each new part? Or is it better to keep the intrigue till the end?

In any case, I look forward to your feedback, it's soooo much important for me. I won't promise to return before the end of September, but I'll do my best not to delay. I already have an interesting plot for the next chapters, you should like it💔

*guys, English isn't my first language so if I have (and I know I have lol) any grammar/logic mistakes don't hesitate to tell me :)

The first week after meeting with the group flew by unnoticed. You dealt with the documentation, understanding how necessary it is, no matter how much you hated it, phoned the representatives of Ashton Gate stadium, made sure that everything was okay and confirmed the presence of the group and even tried to check the weather since the gig would be held outside. However, it turned out to be a little more difficult with the transport company. Apparently, James forgot to warn them about the temporary removal of his duties, so you had to spend time clarifying the situation and explaining who you are. It seemed that your hands-on approach was excessive, because you were trying to control everything in one time, but only due to the feeling of extra responsibility.

Steven, as promised, sent the contacts of the guys and important people from the technical crew, so now your phone had the names of Jamie Cook, Nick O'Malley, Matthew Helders and Alex "dickhead" Turner among others. 19 years old you would definitely envy yourself. So when you got a message while cooking pasta for dinner on Saturday night, you already knew it was from the drummer and not from an anonymous online scammer.

Matthew Helders: "good evening, Miss Y/S! I hope you aren't busy. We'll wait you on the soundcheck on Monday at 2 pm in Domino, need your advice :)"

You almost overcooked Carbonara bacon rereading the message. "Do they really need my advice?" you whispered, furrowing your brows "About what?". But the only answer was:

You: "Sure! Do I need to take some 12% cider?"

Matthew Helders: "you better not show up without a package lol"

Immediately followed by:

Matthew Helders: "just kidding! We are waiting only for you, but in the company of cider it will be even better)"

You chuckled, surprised at how quickly Matt went from formal Miss at the beginning of the conversation to smiles and lols at the end. To tell the truth, you still didn't fully understand how to behave with them. On the one hand, you are their manager and have a certain influence, as well as subordination. Steven and James don't have it, although they are "higher" in position, but they've been friends for half of a life, and you are a completely new person. On the other hand, in this area there is no place for strict formalities, especially since the guys don't look like those who would comply with them. After all they were big kids no matter how mature and pretentious they could look on stage, and you clearly felt it. Maybe your company will help them to relax even more, so there won't be any awkwardness and you will naturally find an edge where all of you will feel comfortable and which no one will cross.

With those thoughts, Carbonara and Rosé you spent your Saturday night watching your favorite series "La Piovra". You got used to such calm and quiet evenings. The era of parties until the morning has passed in the university years, and it’s not that you don’t go to clubs now, it’s just that the older you become the better you began to appreciate moments of silence. Not to be bored alone with yourself is the most valuable skill that you have acquired in your life. Having lived first with your parents for a long time, then getting married early at the age of 20 and having lived with your husband for 3 years, you were essentially not left alone with yourself. Having discovered over time that you feel absolutely nothing for the person whom you said "yes" to in the registry office, you were horrified and frightened to say at least. You thought that you get married once for a lifetime, but it turned out that happy endings exist only in fairy tales. That period of despondency, depression and eventual deepening into work gave its results. Major labels began to notice you, inviting you to musical projects with famous bands such as Maneskin. You worked with them for 1.5 years, leaving after their heyday at the Eurovision, realizing that you can’t give them more. That was your second decision to leave, but unlike the divorce, it didn't bring you much suffering. You understood that you and the group gave each other a lot, and although the parting was bitter, everyone understood that it was necessary. You still remained friends with the guys and periodically wrote off to meet. You planned to go to their concert, but couldn't find the time. And after your assignment to the Monkeys it became even more harder to shedule.

After the divorce you didn't have a serious relationship, instead you had a dream job, money, a car, a country house and even a corgi Grapes. You weren't afraid of the future, loved the time in seclusion and found inner peace by meditating on the production of cider, which was your unusual but very tasty hobby. Were you fully happy, though? Wouldn't you like to cross the threshold of the house and be met not by a dog's barking, but by a warm kiss on the forehead and a quiet "how was your day"? You probably wanted to, but it was hard to admit, especially considering that the fear of intimacy sat somewhere deep inside, not letting you forget the disappointment that you experienced when you removed the engagement ring from your finger. Although you remained friends who didn't hold evil against each other, the bitterness of your marriage was almost impossible to remove from the memories.

But for now, your head has been occupied by the sudden question of where to put Grapes for the duration of the tour...

Monday morning was sunny and peaceful, you woke up in a surprisingly good mood, put on your make-up, put on your favorite lime flared jeans, loaded a case of apple drink from the basemеnt into the car, patted Grapes and drove off to the studio. The road took about an hour, so during this time you managed to phone your father. You haven't talked much lately due to your workload, and now was almost the only time of the day when you were relatively free. You put the speaker phone mode, listening to the slightly hoarse voice of the man, without being distracted from the road.

"Hello my dear! How are you?"

"Hi daddy, I'm fine, going to work right now"

"My busy bee, James has already told me about your progress" you could hear him chuckle, coughing a little. You could only guess what Ford said to your father, because you spoke to him only once in these 2 weeks, when you recalled him after meeting with the group. And not that your story was very colorful. Therefore, the guys or Steven contacted him, and from this point of view, you couldn't imagine what they possibly come up with towards you.

"He assured me the boys liked you"

"Oh, really?" you said on the exhale, squeezing your hands on the steering wheel tightly.

"Yes, James is pleased with you. Well done, babe!" you melted under his words. It felt like you were a little girl again who drew a family picture that was hung on the refrigerator, even though mom and dad looked like monsters.

"Thank you daddy, I'm very happy to be with them actually"

"Of course, in such a company of men. Should I be jealous? 'Cause I looked through their photos on the Internet" dad said proudly, to which you burst out laughing, stopping at a traffic light.

"Dad, c'mon, no! They're too old for me" you laughed.

"10 years are not a big deal. Anyway, your choice. Just don't forget to eat please, I know how tough you work now. Otherwise you'll get drunk on your cider. God, how did you even manage to get into this alcohol sphere..." the man groaned in prostration. You rolled your eyes, but still smiled without answering. You got used to your father's fast flow of different thoughts.

"And don't roll your eyes, little naughty one! I care about you. So if they hurt you, you know who to call, right?"

"Oi, who will offend whom first" you retorted defiantly.

"Okay okay, I won't interrupt anymore. Kiss Grapes for me. I love you"

"And I love you very much, hello mom"

"I'll pass it on, bye!"

You turned off the call, fully focusing on the road. After talking with your parents, you always felt warm in your soul, so up to the studio you didn't leave a smile when you sang songs from the radio under your breath.

You arrived exactly at 2 o'clock, as agreed with Matt, but when you saw a few more cars in the parking lot in addition to the familiar Cadillac, you realized that the guys had been here for a long time. You must have looked a little ridiculous in a business suit and heels and a wooden box under your arm, but you didn't have other choice. Holding the car key in your mouth and trying to press the button at the same time, you clumsily closed the trunk with your leg. A purse was still dangling somewhere on your shoulder, and sunglasses had slipped from head to the bridge of your nose. "Must be an amazing picture to observe" you thought tiredly "Oh, if only Matt were here".

But before you had time to think about it, you heard a soft laugh behind you. You turned around sharply, noticing the frontman smoking alone near the entrance. You spat the key into the box, finally pressing the right button, and shouted

"And how long do you look?"

"I came exactly at the most interesting moment" man smiled, taking a puff.

You heavily crossed the entire parking lot, approaching him. Turner, having finished smoking a cigarette and throwing it into a nearby trash can, silently took the box from your hands.

"Hi, Y/N" he greeted you wheezing nicotine in the lungs.

"Hi," you frowened a little, but slowly added "Alex".

Calling him by his first name was... Unusual. A week ago the appeal to him was exclusively Mr. Turner, but today he was the first to break this line. "Well, apparently, we will both have problems with the boundaries of what is acceptable" bitterly flashed through your thoughts.

You both entered the building - Alex with a box in front, you behind holding the door. The way was silent. You wanted to say something to break this crystal quietness of his, but by the time you mustered up the courage, you stopped at the door 13A. The vocalist pushed it with his left shoulder, squeezing the alcohol forward, and you trotted along.

As soon as you and Alex entered the sound studio, you were immediately greeted with whistling and loud hooting.

"Look who's here, Miss Y/N"

"Hi, guys! I'm here with gifts as promised" you smiled broadly.

Alex at this time put the box on the table and immediately took one bottle for himself.

You noticed that there were Tyler and Tom in the studio as well, so you mentally praised yourself for taking bottles with a margin. You didn't know them personally yet, but was willing to change it. Turner introduced you to the men, and surprisingly you didn't hear his usual sneer in the voice.

"So, welcome Y/N Y/S, she's our manager for the summer before America starts and James gets back"

"Happy to finally meet you!" you were the first to extend your hand to Tyler, which he shook gently, smiling affably, and then to Tom. But he intercepted your hand, kissing your knuckles and making you laugh.

"Mutually, Miss" Rowley said enchanted.

"And she makes her own awesome cider, get one" Matt ordered businesslike, raising his voice from behind the drum kit.

"Yeah, there is enough for everyone, don't hesitate to take"

Evidently you arrived during the break, and before that they had already rehearsed a bit. You were wondering what kind of advice they need from you. The thought that they just needed cider you pushed back with a grin. But Alex, as if reading your thoughts, leisurely started speaking leaning on the table and holding a drink.

"Well, thanks for the cider, but that's not what we called you for. Since you're such a big fan of My Propeller, we discussed it here and decided that it's possible to put one on the set list for a couple of times. So listen to how it sounds, maybe have some ideas or whatevah" he was trying to sound casual, not attaching importance to his words for you.

"I'll do my best!" you almost jumped from such news.

Jamie chuckled audibly, running his fingers over the guitar. You sat down on the couch as Matt tapped the rhythm with his sticks and the melody began.

Seductive. The first association that came to your mind when you heard the intro of this song. It was your favorite from Humbug for sure and one of the band's all time favorites. Alex never told in any interview what was the secret of the lyrics, and probably that was the reason it attracted you even more. The guys played it selflessly, as if there hadn't been those decades that they hadn't performed it. You liked how they gave themselves to the process, even if it was just a rehearsal. They were in simple t-shirts and Matt was proudly wearing pineapple shorts, but you could swear, a real concert was unfolding right in front of you.

When Alex started singing you tried to hide the goosebumps as best as you could, but it hardly worked out well. His voice flowed melodically, not betraying a hint of wheezing or breaking, which could arise due to the age. He closed his eyes, tightly gripping the microphone stand, and moved his feet to the beat, slightly ridiculous, but at the same time gracefully. Throughout the song, you didn’t take your eyes off the group for a minute, sometimes singing along to the words, pulling the last syllable of

Coax me out my law

And have a spin of my propeller

When the song ended, you clapped and Nick even made a mock bow.

“I don’t know how objective my assessment will be, because apart from the words of delight I have nothing to add” you honestly admitted. It seemed to you that you heard Alex's quiet "As I said", but Matt was quick to interrupt him asking you "Actually, we have already decided to play it in Bristol, but the question is where to chip in. We'll definitely not start with this one, and the outro is already completed, so..."

You thought a little, trying to understand what motives My Propeller reminds you of, and then the penny dropped.

"Pretty Visitors!" you exclaimed louder than you should have because your words echoed through the silent studio.

"Smooth interlude from Pretty Visitors, yeah, not bad actually" Alex quickly developed your idea, turning to Matt, as if asking "Do you mind?", but the drummer only closed his eyes approvingly. It seemed that they didn't need any words at all, they could understand each other with guitar riffs and drum brakes. Their connection, it was amazing, honed to automatism for past 20 years. They were like scientists in a chemistry lab mixing potions together in an attempt to make a new elixir. It was magic to come true and watching this process was so intimate that you involuntarily felt the heat on your cheeks, as if you were engaged in voyeurism.

***

The hours in the studio flew by. Fortunately for you, the guys decided to surprise fans with the return of Mardy Bum which will be the opener. The exact setlist for Bristol was confirmed at the end of the rehearsal, bringing back Teddy Picker and The View From The Afternoon as well. So looking at the perfect 21 songs, you could only imagine what they would save for London. Originally you were going to visit their concert in your hometown, you bought tickets as soon as sales were announced, but after James's call you easily gave the ticket to a friend, saying that you had won a jackpot.

Tom and Tyler have already left and the five of you are left. You were sitting on a soft chair, moved from the corner of the room, and the guys opposite on the sofas. The boys had laid down their guitars and you were leding a peaceful conversation about life, since the studio rental time ended only in an hour. You told them about your career in the industry, Maneskin and the part time projects you've been working on lately, omitting the details of your divorce because you thought it was too early for them to immerse themselves in such personal aspects of your life.

"By the way, Vic is your big fan and Alex in particular" you giggled, remembering the way drunk Maneskin bassist told you that she would like to sleep with Turner. Those were the carefree times of your youth you warmly remembered.

"Really?" Matt raised his eyebrows as he sipped his seemingly endless bottle of cider "You still have their contacts, right?"

"Yeah, sure, we even text each other occasionally" you quipped.

"And you didn't say you were working with us?" Heldres was surprised.

"Actually, somehow it didn't seem possible" you lowered your gaze, "I mean what would it look like? "Hey guys, look who's here, I now manage the Monkeys btw?" - so what?"

You could tell by the Cheshire smile on Matt's bristly face that this was exactly how he thought.

"Oh no, Matthew, don't you-"

"Oh yes, darling, dial FaceTime, you'll show them our doll" the man neighed, turning to Alex, who had been sitting quietly on the couch until this moment, and fidgeted in place after the suggestion.

"For God's sake, Matt, what a kindergarten behavior" the vocalist howled irritably, rolling his eyes, "I don't even remember their names".

The idea of making fun of Turner a little for the morning case with the box and taking revenge seemed to you unexpectedly delightful. Your hand automatically sank into your pants pocket, deftly pulling it out into the light and finding the right WhatsApp chat.

"Don't worry, you just have to say hi to Vic, I'm sure you'll be fine" you sang sweetly, glancing slyly at Matt, who chuckled approvingly, glad that you supported his idea.

Alex only cursed at this and ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it. Either from nerves, or putting his hair in order before the call.

You moved from your seat to the couch between Alex and Matt, gesturing for Nick and Jamie to join. You put your hand in front of you so only your face was visible in the camera frame, waiting for one of the guys to take the call. It might have been a little ill-advised to call like this without warning on a workday evening, but anyway it was already too late, as the beeps trailed in a string of sounds. You hoped that they didn't have a concert today, in any other case, one of them would definitely pick up the phone from you. And by a happy coincidence, it was Vic who ended up on your screen.

"What the hell, Miss Boogie, are you really occasionally calling after all this time of silence?" despite Victoria de Angelis's accusatory words, she sounded playful. She was a little disheveled and with a bright blush on her face. People were walking randomly with the string interruptions in the background. Apparently, the guys were at the soundcheck at one of the venues, and Vic recently finished playing.

Four pairs of eyes openly stared at you with undisguised interest after hearing the nickname, demanding an answer, but you just mouthed "later".

"Awww, sweetheart, and I'm happy to hear you again too!" you said with an ironic smile.

"I have a lot of news for you, and I will definitely call you in private soon"

"Are you not alone? Who's with you?" the girl even moved closer to the camera in an attempt to see something.

"Well, I have a little surprise for you. Actually four surprises, but one of them you'll find really special" you said conspiratorially, looking around at the guys who were still out of the picture. Alex sat to your right, trying to portray the most distant look, as if everything that was happening was nothing more than baby talk for him.

"Darling, if you have a group orgy without me, then I will be offended and drop the call" the bassist said threateningly, wiping her forehead with a towel that was hung on her shoulder.

You just burst out laughing "Ok ok, I'm not languishing you anymore. I hope you're ready. Boys, say hi to Vics" and you finally moved the camera further so that Matt, Nick and Jamie, who were sitting to your left, got into the camera frame, Alex's appearance you saved for a dessert.

The musician's reaction exceeded all your expectations. At first she narrowed her eyes, bringing the phone even closer to face, and then she widened them with a loud squeal, jumping up from her seat.

"What the hell, Y/N! What the actual fuck, you're a shitty mutherfucker!!!" she covered her mouth with her hand, chaotically moving the phone in different directions. Apparently, other members of the group came running to her scream, as you heard the voice of Damiano asking what happened.

"What happened?" she repeated "The fucking Arctic Monkeys are sitting next to Y/N!" answering a question off-camera and stabilizing the phone. Now you could clearly see the vocalist leaning over her shoulder, Thomas to the side and Ethan slightly behind.

Finally, the men next to you decided to introduce themselves "Hey, guys, what's new?" Matt said smiling to the camera, Jamie and Nick just waved their hands in a friendly manner.

"Oh my God, what's going on" Vic, still dumbfounded, spoke with a face of complete amazement. Damiano, who quickly figured out the whole situation and realized that Vic was unlikely to be able to communicate normally now, carefully took the phone from her hands.

"Hi, Y/N, long time no see! Hi, boys, how fresh you are" the frontman winked. The words "for your age" were suggested mutely, but David left them behind the scenes. The men next to you just laughed quietly at this remark and saluted the Italian boy.

"Vic, that's not all yet, look who's next to me" wanting to finally finish off your friend, you moved the camera to the side, revealing Alex's presence, who was already sitting with a polite smile on his face, leaning on the sofa armrest.

"Hi, love" Turner murmured hoarsely, turning on his usual charisma. You were surprised how quickly he went from "fuck off everyone" to his stage persona. Indeed, a skill acquired over the years.

De Angelis, after looking at the camera for just a second, squealed even harder than the first time, which you even grimaced a little, because in a quiet studio it sounded deafening.

The camera was still held by Damiano, but the girl in the frame could be seen doubled over, holding back cries of happiness. Her guys just laughed out loud at this, knowing full well what a strong fan of Alex she was.

"Y/N, I'm going to fucking kill you, I'll strap your ass so you can't sit still for another week, what are you doing to me?" Vic didn't let go of expressions, which made the men next to you shamelessly laugh, even Turner smiled predatoryly.

"Holy shit, you're real" the girl muttered in one breath.

Her adoration entertained Alex. Celebrities fangirling celebrities wasn't an unknown story for Alex, so the way Vic behaved didn't annoy him, but brought a feeling of sincere pleasure from what was happening.

"It would be strange if I wasn't, mhm?" the man grunted, changing the position - now he rested elbows on his knees, bringing the face closer to your phone. You could smell his light apple scent from the cider you both drank and the cigarette halo that soaked into all of the frontman's clothes.

Damiano finally decided to take control over the situation by turning the camera completely on himself.

"So, Y/N, if you wanted to surprise Vic, then you succeeded 100%! But we are now at soundcheck, and we don't have much time, and she" nodding towards the bassist "still needs to be brought to her senses. We were extremely happy to hear from you, babe. Call us when you are free and tell us everything in detail. Miss you very much!"

"Guys, me too! Love ya, see you at Glasto!"

"Wait! Take a screenshot!" Vic's desperate exclamation came from Damiano's left side.

He made a focused face, looking for the right buttons, while you and the men simultaneously smiled at the camera.

"Send it to the chat" you asked, ending the call and blowing a virtual kiss. You obviously cut off Vic's "I love you" without being entirely sure it was addressed to you.

The studio immediately froze in deafening silence. You put your phone down on the coffee table, still smiling.

"That was a real buzz, they're cute" Matt said leaning back on the couch. The mood of the guys clearly improved by this little conversation. You were glad that you could somehow diversify their evening after a productive and exhausting day. Even Alex stopped keeping his always compressed lips and frowning eyebrows.

"So, Miss Boogie, right?" Jamie began slyly, reminding you of your infamous nickname.

An approving "ooooo" reverberated around the room, from which you hid behind your palms.

"Damn, I was hoping you'd forget" you muttered from your hiding place.

"C'mon, we're intrigued already" Nick reached out to you through Matt, gently taking your hands away from your face.

Jamie suddenly started chanting your name, encouraging you to reveal this terrible secret, and Matt whistled as if Sheffield FC had just scored a goal.

"God, okay, just shut up please" you gave up.

The four men took more comfortable positions in anticipation of your story.

"In fact, there is nothing special in this story, it's just stupid. When Maneskin was approved for Eurovision, we went to celebrate, how can we not. It was in Milan. We got very drunk in a bar and went for a walk around the city. It was about 3 in the morning, and to entertain ourselves we played Truth or Dare. The most banal thing that could be, but nothing better came to mind. And I chose Dare, 'cause everyone else only cowardly told their secrets. So Vic asked me to dance for a minute on the street to any song that a passerby would name. Well, since at such time you are unlikely to meet any adequate passerby, we only found a beggar in the square. I don’t know how old he was, but the first song that he remembered was Boogie Wonderland" at this point you made a dramatic pause, "so yes, I had to dance to this song at night in front of other poor people who came up to us. Since then they call me Miss Boogie. Everyone is satisfied now, having fun, huh?"

You intentionally crossed your arms in insult, surreptitiously watching the laughing band.

"I bet there's a video" Matt said cheekily.

"Yes, there is, but you'll never see it!" you retorted quickly, glaring at the drummer.

"Your hot cheeks make me want to see this video even more" Nick teased tapping Matt on the shoulder.

"You know what," Alex suddenly announced, "choose any song you want. We play it, and you show the video"

You could swear your jaw was somewhere on the floor.

"Woah, did you decide to go all-in?" Matt asked, also not expecting such a generous offer "Be careful, otherwise you will have to play a Taylor Swift song"

"Ouch, why do you think I like her?"

"Who doesn't like her?"

"Your truth" you nodded approvingly.

"I meant our song. We'll perform it at the concert" Turner interrupted your dialogue, looking at you testily from under his eyelashes.

There was a slight silence, which you broke with a heavy sigh.

"Wow, okay, this is getting interesting" you muttered, leaning back on the couch like Helders had done earlier. The three men to your left looked at each other in surprise, waiting for an answer, while you've been thinking, looking at the frontman.

"Certain Romance," you easily stated, "I want this one"

"Your wish is my command, Miss Boogie," he joked without any hint of smile, standing up "you guys remember how to play it, don't you?"

The guys looked at each other dumbfounded, unable to find words for such a drastic change in the behavior of the vocalist, but after a discordant series of affirmative nods, they received a condescending smile from him.

"Well, that's great, there's still time to rehearse. I propose Sheffield!" Alex said solemnly, thrusting his hands into the pockets.

"Al, ru ok?" Matt raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"All right, man" Turner said artificially.

"This house is a circus indeed" swirled through your head. Alex's behavior was defiant. Emerging into conflict. Literally a minute ago everything was peace and quiet, and now he, like a proud peacock, was arranging a show for you at the level of a cheap soap opera.

"No, but seriously, let's even organize a lottery, since Y/N has such an influence on the setlist" Alex didn't let up.

"Come on, pipe down, you suggested it yourself" Nick intervened carefully, not wanting to stir up the smoldering coals of the conflict.

"And I think all of you are into this idea, aren't you?" Turner didn't raise his low, heavily accented baritone, but the underlying toxicity in his tone was evident, "oh, even better, let's ask our Italian friends for advice! Let's get their opinion and her video as well".

"Alexander, smoke?" you stood up decisively from the couch, grabbing your purse and phlegmatically glancing at the wooden cider box you'd probably have to leave in the studio. But you couldn’t leave the guys in such an atmosphere, so out of courtesy you promised to return again.

"Y/N, no problem, see you before Bristol! Send the screen to our group, 'cause I'm getting jealous for these Italians" Matt gave you an encouraging wink in the end, and you certainly promised to do it tonight.

"They'll kill each other"

"He doesn't stand a chance"

Jamie and Matt said at the same time as the door closed behind you.

Alex imposingly walked ahead, not hurrying anywhere. He politely said goodbye to the security guard, noting that the rental period had already come to an end. Almost bowing, he opened the door to the street for you, artificially gallantly holding it with his hand, still making a show from every gesture, which for some reason made you feel disgusted. You were counting on working with middle-aged men, accomplished musicians, but it feels like you are talking to teenagers.

Damp cold air from the river hit your red cheeks, which made you wrap yourself in a jacket more tightly. Alex took out a pack of Marlboro, offering you one, but nodding to himself, removed it, remembering your words a week ago practically at the same place.

"Well?" he said with a cigarette in his mouth, lighting the filter.

The sky was overcast with a milky haze of fog, which wasn't uncommon for these places, a weak wind was blowing, but not a single sound from the road was heard, which made you hear sparks from ignited tobacco hiss like champagne bubbles, falling on the asphalt.

Alex exhaled noisily, squinting at you with his eyes. His face was faintly lit by the flame of a cigarette, but even in such low light, it was noticeable that his gaze was completely blank. "Amazingly indifferent and deep eyes at the same time. It's impossible to tell anything from them" you thought. Or maybe he was like this only with unpleasant people to him, who you apparently were. You can’t even imagine the way these eyes changed on stage "Where are you real, Alexander?". But instead of asking this, you just threw your head back, tiredly closing your eyelids, showing with your whole appearance how absurd the situation is.

"Alex," there wasn't any visible point to call him Mr. Turner even though you were annoyed "I thought we made a deal, didn't we?"

"Really? When?" his voice sounded even more affected than in the studio, despite the fact that now the man spoke rather quietly and slowly. Or maybe even a whisper would be loud in this ringing silence.

"I just don't understand what the problem is" you continued, as if you didn't hear his words.

"I don't see it either, Miss Y/S"

You raised your eyebrows high as you asked a silent question, which made Alex smirk slightly. Taking a puff, he began to explain to you with the intonation of a parent teaching a child not to put his fingers in the socket.

"Listen, I won't hide it, you brought some chaos to our tour. This is different from your direct duties though - to solve all the problems on our way. But you're a stranger who stirred up our peace and foundation. I was initially against this idea, but James left me no choice. You are undoubtedly an educated young lady, and probably from a moral point of view, I sound like a scoundrel now-"

"You sound unprofessional, Alex. You only make me feel contempt, and I don't care about any moral side"

The frontman looked at you from under his brows, taking out a second cigarette in a row from the pack, waiting for a further reaction, but inside you was a frozen magma that didn't want to break out, muffled by self-esteem. For now.

His words contradicted his behavior. In the morning he carries your boxes and asks for a song advice, and in the evening he gives out this shit. If women's logic is ridiculed by society, then men do not have it at all.

“You know what, when James offered me this job, I was damn excited and proud that I would be working with a team like yours. I was on a cloud nine. But you, Alex, you're just a spoiled boy in the body of a 37-year-old man who hasn't overplayed his ambitions and thinks that his subtle nature is so fragile to understand that you need to hide behind the facade of an asshole so that normal people with good intentions don't crawl into your soul. You are cowardly and arrogant!"

You were breathing heavily, and the words "fool fool fool" stretched on repeat in a red line behind your eyes.

You didn't even understand how they escaped from your lips, absolutely thoughtlessly. You even instinctively wanted to raise a hand to cover your mouth, but pulled yourself back in time, deciding to play to the end. Show after show.

Alex hadn't raised a cigarette to his face during your tirade, so that the wick was almost dead in his fingers. You intensively looked at each other without stopping, and at some point it seemed to you that fear flashed in his pupils. Fear of the revealed truth. However, they were covered with a thick veil of indifference to what was happening in a second, and he finally took the last puff, throwing the butt right on the road.

"Miss Y/S, it seems that you have to go" the musician said unemotionally.

You took one last burning look at his features and, without saying a word, turned around towards your car. How ironic, a week ago you left each other in roughly the same sequence of activities - studio, cider, parking lot, but under completely different circumstances.

Slamming the door shut, you sharply revved, not bothering to warm up the engine, and drove out of the parking lot with a clang of tires. Burning tears of resentment gushed from your eyes, covering the already foggy road in front, but you didn't pay attention.

Your cooperation has just begun, and you have already swept on an emotional swing. Only in the morning you were driving in a car towards the sun and rejoicing at the warm words of your dad, and in the evening you return home, wiping the salty paths with the back of your hand from your face.

You were never embarrassed by tears, you cried out almost all of them during a divorce, but if they dripped from your eyes today, then there was a reason for that. Your parents taught you that after rain there is always a rainbow, after tears there is always peace of mind, you need to be able to live through any emotions in order to turn them into your power later.

***

You haven't seen the boys since that evening until today's early departure for Bristol. Of course, you communicated on all sorts of organizational issues during this time and there was no visible tension, especially since they didn't hear about your quarrel with Alex. You were more than sure that he would not tell his friends about that incident. This is what infringes on him, and therefore makes him weaker, which he couldn't allow.

All these days you have wondered what was the reason for such a sharp behavior, however you couldn't really delve into yourself. Why exactly you were crying - from resentment, overstrain or just an emotional outburst, it was also difficult to understand. Perhaps all together. Over the past month, from your first conversation with Ford to recent events, your life has changed 180 degrees, so it's no surprise that your psyche gave a little glitch.

You've comforted yourself with routines though — setting Grapes up with a friend until your next visit to London, inviting your parents over for dinner to tell you all the details, packing your suitcase for the tour, checking out all the technical stuff, and almost forgetting what kind of adventure you're packing for.

And now, without any idea of the nearest future, you were sitting in a black Mercedes Sprinter between Marcus and James Kerr, Ben was in the passenger seat in front, Steven was riding with the group in the bus. It was only 8 am, you were sleepy, only at the last moment you didn’t forget to remove eye patches before going out, you didn’t even put on makeup, so you sat in the wide sunglasses, even though the sun wasn't visible through the tinted windows of the car.

It seemed that everyone was relaxed, easily communicated with each other and knew exactly what each would do upon arrival at the venue. Unlike you. The schedule was pretty clear - check-in at the hotel, lunch, departure for the soundcheck and then free time for the management and the band, but very busy time for the technicians. Of all this, the most sensible thing was to drink plenty of wine at dinner and walk around the rest of the day in a relaxed state of mind, but those were only pitiful thoughts of creeping fear. Deep inside you were sure that everything would be fine, it couldn’t be otherwise, because even if you didn’t know how to do this or that task, the guys knew their duties, and they physically couldn’t play the concert badly.

"Hey, Y/N, you kinda took working with us too seriously" Marcus snapped you out of your thoughts with his mocking tone.

"I'm sorry, what?" you asked, turning to him.

He touched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and chuckled. It took you another couple of seconds to figure out what he meant, so he took advantage of your confusion to explain "you now going to wear glasses in the dark as well?"

The reference to Alex was read transparently, so you imperceptibly flinched and pointedly removed them, as if not wanting to be associated with him at all.

"No, no, I just didn't have time to do my make up" you honestly admitted, shrugging your shoulders ingenuously.

"Oh, I'm sorry, we-" the guy looked around at all the passengers, "we don't understand this here"

You laughed slightly, at the same time relaxing, and asked him a question that had been of interest to you for a long time.

"Why don't you have women in the team? I mean at all"

Instead of Marcus, Ben decided to answer from the front seat, apparently as the eldest among you.

“It didn’t happen on purpose, but later it became kind of unspoken rule. We are here like on the fishing, you know? We leave our wives, spend time within our male company, it’s like an alternative branch of your life, you do quality work here, you feel needed, while no one owe you nothing and you feel absolutely free in your actions, understanding thoroughly those who are around you"

"Are you aware that this is how a normal team should work, regardless of gender? It sounds somehow sexist. Am I really embarrassing you in actions?" you smiled slyly, anticipating the denouement.

"Actually, besides you, we have 3 other women in the team.." Marcus embarrassingly chipped in.

"Guys, don't bother yourself with excuses, I knew who I was messing with" you laughed, crossing your legs. Marcus looked at you dumbfounded, but said nothing, and James just chuckled softly at the window.

"Well, if you knew that, then you also should know about our tradition, right, guys?" Ben began in a conspiratorial tone, exchanging glances with the guys.

"Um, about what?" you arched an eyebrow in disbelief.

"The newbie is signed up for the after-party. Tonight is your first concert, and after that we go to the bar, the drinks are off you! We're equal here" Ben imperturbably continued to scan your reaction with a fox-eye, waiting for an answer. It's not that you're greedy or unable to pay, but to buy drinks for the whole team...

And as if ahead of your question, the man added "enough management and the band".

As if it changed the essence. But you couldn't refuse, so you mumbled something affirmative, getting a roar of male hoarse laughter in response, and starting to laugh at yourself. You appreciated in people, especially males, this ability - to make a woman laugh. In a time of constant change and stress, finding someone who will make you forget about it was very important.

The rest of the road was spent in the same good mood, and these conversations did help you to forget about your anxiety due to upcoming events. Upon arrival, all the management team and the band settled in the hotel. As James promise, you've been given a private suite overlooking the most beautiful park in the city center. But due to an unknown coincidence, you lived not on the same floor with the attendants, but through the door from the group.

Matt carried your things to your room and you agreed to meet for lunch in 20 minutes.

Since you were able to miraculously did a make up even in the car, thanks to the sensitive driving, now you decided to change into more presentable clothes in which you will be at the concert.

Without changing the habit of choosing clothes carefully and for a long time, you took off your hot sweatshirt, remaining in only sweatpants and starting to go through the whole suitcase in search of those things that would match your mood. You had a couple of looks planned, but today's unexpectedly warm weather changed your plans a little, so you confidently took out a black leather skirt and a white blouse.

A piece of matter fit all your forms perfectly, so you were satisfied with the choice, spinning in front of the mirror by the bed. The black bodice harmonized perfectly with the skirt, and the crazy idea of staying only in it, without putting on anything, flashed through your head like a bullet, but flew out just as quickly as soon as you heard the muffled thud of heels on the carpet outside the door and a muttered "Jamie?" at your door followed by a knock. You hysterically shouted "No!" exactly at the moment when the door opened without a click.

"Shit, Y/N!" Alex, not having time to properly enter your room, but having clearly noticed you in a compromising way, abruptly recoiled, remaining in the corridor, but not completely closing the door so that he could hear you, but not see.

"God! What a mess" you pleaded, rushing to the door. You stuck out only your head, meeting the eyes of the musician, who was discomposedly staring at you point-blank.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Why are you naked?"

You asked at the same time, shouting over each other.

"This is my room! And I'm not naked!"

"Where's Jamie? I thought he was at 312" Turner asked, a little bewildered, clearly embarrassed.

"I have no idea where Jamie is. How did you even get in?" you were still half-dressed, hiding most of your body behind a wooden door.

"I knocked, but it turned out that it was not slammed at all"

"What the fuck? Maybe Matt didn't close when he left," you muttered more to yourself. You clearly saw the question “What did Matt do here?” that arose in Alex’s head, but which he never voiced. Clearly realizing that the dialogue could not be continued in this form, you abruptly switched the subject, trying to tear his eyes from your neck.

"I was changing for dinner anyway, so see you there" you sharply slammed the door in front of him, not wanting to go into details, and tiredly leaned your head against the wooden surface from the inside.

"Crazy" you heard quiet along with receding soft steps.

It was your only meaningful conversation with the singer, since that evening. You understood that it couldn’t go on like this for a long time, but at the moment you didn’t have any ideas how to fix the situation. So you just finally put on the look you chose, after checking that the door was locked, then decided to add a black headband, and being satisfied with your appearance, went downstairs.

After lunch, the whole team went to the stadium, where the technicians had already set up half of the equipment. The guys immediately went to the sound check, and you and Steven went to meet Ashton Gate management. It seemed like there was still plenty of time before the concert, and you thought you would have a few more chances to double-check everything, but in the turmoil that was going on behind the scenes, this turned out to be impossible.

To be honest, you were overwhelmed by what was happening. The soft music, people around, the sun rays moving towards the sunset - this whole scene that was unfolding before you as you unexpectedly stepped onto the empty stage a few minutes before the crowd was let into the stadium looked surreal and incredibly familiar, as if you had been here many times before. The noise and chaos behind you contrasted with the tranquility in front of your eyes. The empty space that was about to be filled with a crowd in just a few minutes brought both excitement and serenity. These were the moments that seemed unreal, but made life worth living.

***

The show was about to start, and you stood next to the dark staircase, where the guys from the dressing room were soon to come up. Leaning on the railing, you nervously twirled a lock of hair around your finger. You went through all the items on the checklist in your head, checking off each one mentally, but something still bothered you.

Alex.

Your unfinished conversations and evasive behavior were weighing on you. You felt guilty, knowing that as his manager, you had behaved tactlessly, driven by emotions. It ate at you from the inside. You decided that you would talk to him today, apologize and put this issue to rest once and for all.

Suddenly you noticed a flickering light from the security, which meant that the group is entering the stage, and you turned sharply, both wanting and fearing to see them. As always, looking luxurious, these four men made their way up to the platform, remaining unnoticed by the audience.

"Good luck, guys! I'm buzzing as hell honestly" you tried to sound confident, but your voice trembled on the last word.

"Miss Y/S, is it just me or are you worried about us?" Nick lightly touched your shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Well, it's my first time with you" realizing how ambiguous that sounded, you interrupted yourself with a laugh.

"Oh, you'll love it, babe" Matt mimicked a voice from a cheap adult movie, tossing a stick in the air. It seemed like he could find the right words in any situation, and in the future, you would highly appreciate this skill.

All this time, you were glancing at Alex out of the corner of your eye, trying to read his emotions, but he calmly adjusted the folds on his unchanging dark blue jacket and stretched his neck with turns left and right. Seeing that the guys had moved a little away from you, you looked at your watch, estimating that you had 5 minutes maximum, and whispered to yourself "now or never".

"Alex!" you called him out loudly, trying to outshout the crowd "I wanted to talk, I know it's not the most appropriate time, but-"

"Y/N, forgive me, okay," the man unexpectedly began, barely approaching you. For the first time, you saw genuine excitement in his eyes, here, in the darkness of the backstage area of a 30,000-seat stadium. For some reason, only now you clearly feel the difference in height between you two. He looked down at you patronizingly. Maybe it was because of his heels or the knot of nerves in your stomach that made you feel so small in your attempt to hide from his penetrating gaze.

"I've been a complete jerk and acted childish from the very beginning. You didn't do anything to deserve such treatment. I don't want our tension to affect the group and our work in any way, so I admit my guilt"

You stood in shock, slightly opening your mouth. You absolutely did not expect such a turn of events, so your entire improvised speech evaporated from your mind instantly. He suddenly smiled softly, raising an eyebrow, as if asking 'well, what now?' Still not believing what you heard, you nodded your head almost automatically.

"Y-yes, you were a jerk indeed. But I also didn't behave entirely correctly, my first impression wasn't great either," you sighed in frustration, recalling your memories, "I suggest we start over, huh? Hi, my name is Y/N, I'm your new tour manager, nice to meet you" and to confirm your words, you gracefully extended your hand to him.

"Nice to meet you too, I'm Alex Turner, sort of singing here," he shook your hand with an energetic movement. His palm was dry and steady, causing a pleasant warmth throughout your body, "just business then?"

"Just business indeed. And a little bit of music" you said, more relaxed, smiling with all 32 teeth, still holding onto his hand.

"Deal, Miss Y/S"

For a moment, the roar of fans faded away for you, and you only saw the outlines of his pupils in the semi-darkness and his fingers firmly holding yours. However, your fragile moment was promptly ruined by-

"Al, c'mon!" Jamie impatiently called, and your hand felt the gusts of wind instead of calloused skin of the frontman. You watched him walk away in his waddle manner, as he suddenly turned and shouted, winking "By the way, nice lace".

It took you a couple of seconds to understand what was said, and when the meaning of his words reached you, you exclaimed in indignation "You, motherfucker!" almost stomping your foot, but your cry was lost in the wild roar of the crowd, as the guys were already on stage.

It was a miraculous sight. Four men made people go into ecstasy just with their appearance - this is the phenomenon of the Beatles, and they were proof that rock and roll is alive. As long as they are alive. Every strum on the guitar strings, every touch of the lips to the microphone, every drumstick strike, every hair flip was special in their performance, they themselves were special.

You were fascinated, to say the least. When the performance came to the last song before the encore, Body Paint, one of your favorite songs from the album, that was definitely made to be played live, you were out of words. The whole song built you up to the climax, to the outro that every time was a pure jamming and improvisation. And you literally exploded in ecstasy when Alex started walking around the stage, unable to stand still from the knocking down energy. He closed his eyes in languor, biting his lips, screaming, throwing out his arms, and you couldn't take your eyes off. You weren't dancing or jumping, you were inseparably watching his every movement, arms folded across your chest. Your mouth was agape against your will, and your eyes eagerly punched a hole in the frontman. This is a unique performance, it's something that is hard to explain without feeling it for yourself. You were made up of his music, you literally felt these waves inside your veins, your brain wasn't able to comprehend what was happening, it was like a catharsis for all of you. And you definitely didn't want to be saved.

Suddenly Alex turned his head to your side, continuing to play some divine riff outlining the Van Gogh fields on the guitar strings. His hair was tousled, shirt unbuttoned, but his jacket fitted perfectly. He rested his eyes on your figure, smiling with one corner of his lips, and you looked at each other for good seven seconds which felt like eternity. You were sure that everything was clear in your eyes, and even if he stood next to you and heard you, you wouldn't be able to utter a word.

What you definitely didn't expect when your eye contact was broken and Alex walked to another side of the stage, that tears would involuntarily flow from your eyes. "What the hell..." you wondered aloud, quickly removing the salty tracks from your cheeks. In fact, you perfectly understood why you were crying. From a sense of greatness. The greatness of music, human synergy and the power of unity. It was too much for you, too strong emotions to bear. It was excellent, it was the taste of life, thanks to which you still were here. "God, if you exist, bless this band, they are saints" although it sounded ridiculous and naive, you seriously were ready to pray for the talent of these guys, for the ability to make other people feel alive. You were in your place, you did everything right, you were cruising the victory. Today he convinced you.

As soon as the last chords of "RU Mine?" were played and the bows to the fans were taken, the men disappeared from the deafening roar behind the dark curtains of backstage. Their hair stuck to their sweat faces, and a distinct masculine smell was coming from their shirts. The guys passed by you with exhausted smiles, unable to utter a word from fatigue, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridors.

You didn't know what to do right now. According to your understanding, your job didn't end with pre-concert organization, there were also post-concert tasks to be done. But you were so lost in emotions that you felt like you were drifting away from an anaphylactic shock.

Unexpectedly, Tyler came to you as he was the last one to come off the stage. He fraternally put a hand on your shoulder, tousling your hair with his heavy palm.

"Well, with the initiation into our hell, sweetheart. How're you?"

"Thrilled, and I want more!" you declared confidently, matching his quick pace that was pulling you further away from the frenzy of the crowd.

"Well, don't doubt that, it's just the beginning" he charmingly smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression.

"Now we're going to celebrate, and you're coming with us" it sounded so authoritative that even if you wanted to object, you immediately closed your mouth, nodding in agreement. "Besides, seems like you need to unwind" you remembered.

You left the stadium only an hour later, apparently, it was a normal time for the guys to "recover". You'd made several jokes about one woman waiting for seven men and received offended and teasing looks in return. You got into the same Mercedes you arrived in that morning, and the driver took you to one of Bristol's typical English pubs that the guys loved so much.

You didn't understand their fondness for these quaint places where the sofa upholstery hadn't changed along with the owner. There were so many modern bars in the city, any of which the band could afford to rent entirely, but they paid tribute to traditions, obviously cherishing memories of their lively youth when they started playing their first concerts in similar places. Such a return to their roots after the thousands-capacity stadiums grounded them well. And the warm nostalgia, slipping across the Guinness glasses every time, was a corner of genuine joy for the guys, the only true luxury they possessed.

And overall, you didn't care where to spend money or on what. After all today's events, which felt like a whole month, you didn't mind anymore. In the morning, you looked at your apple orchard in the early mist of suburban London, then stood half-naked in a five-star hotel room in front of a world-renowned music star, and now, in the evening, you huddled next to him on an old leather couch under a red velvet chandelier, drinking a B-52.

Glasses, shots and colorful bottles flashed in front of your eyes like a kaleidoscope. Your head was spinning from the amount of alcohol, and your cheeks hurt from laughter.

"My dear mates, I propose a toast to Miss Y/S and her first concert with us! I don't know if she understands where she has ended up, but we'll make sure she has a great time with us, right, guys? To Y/N!" Matt solemnly proclaimed, rising from the table, and 8 hands, pouring drinks onto each other, reached towards the center of the table to clink glasses.

"Guys, thank you for this opportunity, thanks to James for his unplanned vacation, thanks to Steven and Marcus-" although the latter wasn't here, you decided to thank him as he had been providing you with all kinds of help during these weeks, "for their support and adaptation, and of course, to you Monkeys, for accepting me. I do like your crazy Monkey house" you joked, but it didn't negate the truth. Despite all the past disagreements with the lead singer, you felt that you were still doing everything right. And even if you hadn't gone on this adventure today, you would still feel grateful to fate for such an opportunity to be at the center of life.

"Glad to hear that," Jamie chuckled ironically, "as they say, welcome aboard"

And with these words, you all whistled, and Tom even shouted like a saloon girl from the Wild West. Your evening, or rather the night, continued until 3 am, fortunately there was no concert the next day, so you could at least sleep in a bit. You looked in horror at the amount you had drunk, trying to estimate how long it would take to recover the contents of your wallet. But you had consumed so much gin and tonic that the only thing that really worried you was how to walk straight for at least 2 meters to the bar to pay for it all.

"Drinks on me!" you declared with a mischievous smile to the group as you headed towards the bar counter.

"What, for everyone?" Matt playfully refined.

"Well, yeah," you didn't have the energy to realize his surprise, but he also didn't have the energy to argue with you, "that's no problem".

And thus, the following events spun in your head like a foggy whirlpool. Here you were finally breathing in the fresh air of the street, tilting your head towards the purple sky, then you were half-lying on someone's shoulder in the black minivan, and finally for no reason you were walking barefoot on a soft hotel carpet, but there were no shoes in your hands as well.

You didn't have any memories of walking into your room either. But in the moment, the feeling of soft snow-white hotel sheets flooded your body with long-awaited bliss. You instantly fell into the arms of Morpheus, only on the verge of consciousness noticing that someone took off the headband from your hair, which had been squeezing your head tightly, and silently closed the door.

You may be too drunk to remember each of your actions clearly, but you definitely wouldn't mistake the familiar scent of cigarettes in the room.

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Oh, so much has happened in one chapter, and this is just the beginning of the tour... I decided to tell the background of Y/N for a better understanding of her actions. What do you think, maybe you want more of "Italian friends" in the work? Whose line do you want to read in more detail? Share your emotions, it is incredibly valuable to me that someone reads this work actually!

xo🤍

Taglist: @missbabyjay @rentskenobi @findmeincorneliastreet @indierockgirrl here it is!

*if you want to be removed or added to the taglist, feel free to ask me!

117 notes · View notes

sourbinnie · 1 year

Text

title -> tangerine (alternative) genre -> angst + no happy ending pair -> ot8!skz + gn!reader a/n: so i got these two messages and i decided to add up to the first part of tangerine. this is the alternative ending version of this imagine. the reactions stay the same but i'll add a bit more angst since that's what people really liked about it. obviously you can choose which version you like more and read the one you prefer but hey! i'm more than happy to please everyone. so here we go, another version of it! thank you always for the lovely comments, the criticism and the requests !!!

⏪ ⏪ ⏪

nothing hurts more than looking at the people you loved for so long and not being able to talk to them. not be able to clarify what happened and have to pretend that you're okay with all of this. everything seemed to be falling in it's wrong place as i felt the stares through the performance, backstage and during the award show. having to sit in a new place with my new band members just right in front of my old members was the most awkward thing i had to do in a long time and i felt the tension grow slowly but it was surely there all along. my members tried to distract me and even if i did give in to all the banter, the jokes and the atmosphere they were building, inside i was just suffering every step of the way.

yes this was my choice and i knew what i got into right? this was the way things were supposed to be all along. it hurt, it stung pretty bad but i couldn't do anything about it. the decision was mine and i have to deal with the consequences of never speaking to them again, to never make eye contact, to avoid them at all costs. it just wouldn't be the same anymore and i would have to get used to the strangers, the ones i promised to never be unknown were now becoming shadows of the past.

i kind of felt the air suffocating me during their whole performance. they looked so good but i kept a straight face and didn't make a move. first era without me right? it sounds better for sure. one of my members grabbed my hand, squeezing it and i just didn't feel a thing right then and there. it was like slowly drifting away from the ones who held me for so long. the ones who used to calm my anxiety when it got too bad, the ones who wiped my tears away so many long cold nights and the ones who told me "you got this" every time we went out on the stage.

i had to get up and leave for a bit since i could not breathe. i didn't want anyone to go with me so i just started walking away to the backstage area. bad decision right? who else would i meet? they had just finished their performance and i tried going the opposite way before they saw me but no one could escape felix's eyes.

"(y/n)?" he asked and i just nodded. i couldn't even smile since it just ached to be in the same room with any of them. history doesn't delete itself just because you leave a group, it's always there and that's what happened to me when i looked at felix. just a string of flashbacks passing by with every moment lived. "your performance was really good."

"yeah, yours too." i said and oh god was it awkward but i did need the closure after all. just hearing him say something positive about our performance was enough. it felt so weird and i did not miss the rest of the members looking at us like the scene of a car crash.

"don't talk to them yongbok." of course it was minho who said this and i just sighed, defeated. it was obvious that one of them would still be mad at me for what happened, i didn't blame them at all. it still shattered me to pieces that they wanted to ignore me and make it like it never happened. i knew i couldn't do that even if i tried but minho dealt with things that way and he surely wasn't happy to see me.

"hyung don't do this." felix tried to say and i just stood there frozen. even if i wanted to leave the scene, i couldn't do it because i needed to know how they felt. maybe it would be my chance to clarify things but no words would come out of my mouth as much as i wanted them to.

"he's right lix, it's better if we don't. nothing against you (y/n) but it's for the best." chan said and it probably surprised me the most coming from him. thought our connection was more important than the protocol but i just nodded, what else could i do? there was nothing left for me here. i came to look for some peace and i found more troubles in the way and felt my heart breaking slowly.

"yeah, no i understand, i'm sorry." i said as i started to walk away but i heard a bitter laugh coming from behind me, i recognized it all too well to even turn around to see who it was.

"seungmin don't start." chan said clearly to him but knowing seungmin's attitude, he did not care at all.

"so now they say they're sorry? after all that happened? i'm sorry, i call bullshit." seungmin responded furious and tired of dealing with this situation. i wasn't angry, i was just devastated that i made them feel such way because if i hadn't made the choice to leave, none of this would be happening. we would still be a family, we would still be together and not fighting like this. "just please don't come back crying to us when your group fails."

"seungmin." changbin intervene but the comments were already there and it was all said. they really think i used them huh? how broken and fucked up that is. "look (y/n) we understand what happened now. we'll talk about it someday okay?"

"there's nothing to talk about." minho insisted again and i just looked at them. fighting wasn't something odd in the group but i've never seen the atmosphere looked so tense and thin as i tried to get a word in but kept getting interrupted by my ex members.

"i would love to talk about it someday. just not right now, it's not the best moment to do so." i said, i felt the tears building up but i did not let them fall as much as my body insisted. "i'm sorry again for everything and congrats on your win."

i decided that enough was enough and left, hoping that was my last encounter with them. if everything hurt before, i couldn't imagine how bad it was now. we finally did drift away and there was no looking back now. i was not in stray kids anymore so i did not belong close to them either. so no more clarifying things, no more hoping we could stay friends, there's just no more light for us. there isn't even an us anymore.

how cruel of it to end this way.

#sourbinnie #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids imagines #stray kids drabbles #stray kids 9th member #skz 9th member #skz imagine #skz drabbles #skz short imagines #skz imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids reaction

159 notes · View notes

d1xonss · 5 months

Text

Desert Rose

Chapter 23 ~ Broken

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.2k

In this chapter ~ In the midst of everything, Rick and Shane weren't able to leave the stranger behind like they had planned. It all led up to a pretty ugly discussion about how they would take care of him, fighting for whatever humanity they could hold onto. But they quickly come to realize they can't prevent the inevitable forever.

It was a silent morning, quieter than usual as we waited for Daryl to come out of the shed with the dreaded news.

Rick and Shane came back late that night still with Randall attached on a leash, claiming they couldn't just leave him in the middle of nowhere, leading to a pretty ugly disagreement. Apparently, part of it was because Randall knew of Maggie from around the small town and knew where the farm was, so they were left with a tough decision. In the end they decided to play it a bit more safely and bring him back, and Daryl offered to "have a chat" with him this morning to get the information we needed out of him.

But as we all stood there waiting, my mind was elsewhere.

Yesterday was a rollercoaster of emotions for not only me, but the Greene family. After Daryl talked to me, I did feel a little better but also couldn't hide the embarrassment I felt after what he watched me go through. Practically the five stages of grief in two minutes. But after our talk I soon fell asleep, emotionally exhausted from everything that had happened that day. Then this morning I woke up and he was already gone, so I haven't gotten the chance to talk to him about everything he did for me last night. Though I would eventually, I didn't really know where to start.

I didn't know if he fully realized how much he had truly helped me. How much he proved that he was always there for me for the good, the bad, and the ugly just by simply comforting me in a time of need. It made my heart swell, and I wanted to thank him for all of it.

The shed doors opening and closing with a slam is what brought me out of my thoughts, seeing Daryl coming out only seconds later looking pissed. He made his way over to us quickly and stood close by while informing the group about what he got out of the man.

"Boy there has a gang, thirty men, got heavy artillery and ain't lookin to make friends. They roll through here our boys are dead and our women...they're gonna wish they were." he said.

"What did you do?" Carol asked him cautiously with her arms crossed, looking at how bloody his hands were.

He shrugged, "Had a little chat." he said simply.

Once Carol had brought attention to his beat up knuckles, I couldn't help but stare as well in slight concern. I then mindlessly took his hand in mine and raised it up to my face, examining the blood and cuts he had gotten. I felt his gaze on me while I did so, yet everyone else around us seemed to pay it no mind as they stewed over Randall's words.

"No one goes near this guy. We don't have a choice, he's a threat. We have to eliminate the threat." Rick stated.

Dale's ears perked up at that, "You're just going to kill him?"

"It's settled, we'll do it today." Rick announced before stalking off in the other direction.

My eyes followed his figure, along with Dale's whom was following close behind, thinking back to Rick's sudden decision. I didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable with killing him, but I also didn't want his group to show up in the one place we felt safe. There was no limit to the possibilities on what these people could do, Daryl only proved that further when he told us everything he said. So when it comes down to it, I think killing him is our best option.

But Dale was clearly quick to argue, chasing after the man as he began to talk his ear off for no doubt a better option. But clearly there wasn't. With the way we've gone over this a thousand times already before, we had already talked it out for far longer than we should've. And I for one didn't want to go through that endless loop again. No amount of time or patience would prepare me for another similar discussion.

My eyes then connected with Daryl's momentarily and I nodded my head towards our tent and he nodded back, quickly slipping away from the group. As we made it back to the small space we shared, I wanted to grab some things to help clean the fresh gashes on his hands.

"Sit down here, I'll be right back." I said briefly.

"Yes ma'am." he said with a knowing smirk as he sat himself down on the log I pointed to.

I fixed him with a glare as I felt the familiar heat creep to my cheeks before turning around and going into the tent to get a first aid kit out of my bag. Once my fingers grazed over it, I pulled it out and made my way back outside and sat down beside him, taking his hand again to help clean everything up.

Taking some water first, I gently poured the cool liquid onto his knuckles, trying to wash them as best as I could from the dirt that lingered there. I then took some cotton balls and rubbing alcohol, warning him before I began to gently graze it back and forth. He flinched a little at first but then slowly got used to the stinging, relaxing a bit more as I continued.

It was silent between us as I focused, but I could tell he had a lot on his mind with the talk he just had with Randall. It was a lot I will admit, but I could tell he was overthinking about it far too much. So I decided to break the silence.

"Stop thinking about it. Everything will be okay." I muttered quietly, my eyes still focused on his hands.

He huffed quietly, "What you can read my mind now?" he asked playfully.

My gaze lifted then with a little smile, "No, your thoughts are just too loud, they're hard to ignore you know."

He only smiled in return, nodding to himself like I had a point. I then finally finished wrapping up his hands in white bandages a bit tightly, before dropping them back into his lap, prepared to take the silence as an opportunity. It started off almost awkward as I didn't know quite how to put it, but I felt that I had to bring it up sometime.

"I uh...never got a chance to say thank you by the way, for yesterday. All the shit that went down. So, thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me." I said honestly.

He scoffed and shook his head, "Ya don't gotta thank me darlin, I'll always be here when ya need me."

My heart jumped the smallest bit once I heard the nickname he had never used before, fall effortlessly off his tongue. But he had a much different reaction than I, pressing his lips together tightly and closing his eyes as if he regretted saying it at all. And just like that his thoughts were running wild once again, stuttering as he tried to apologize and find the right words for the slip up.

"Shit...sorry, it just- kinda...slipped out."

I gently grabbed his hand again, getting him to actually look me in the eye, "It's okay," I assured, "I think it's sweet."

He was quiet for a moment as he stared a me, before muttering, "Ya don't hate it?"

"I love it." I responded.

He smiled a bit shyly, before cupping my cheek and bringing me towards him to place his lips on mine. It was a soft and loving kiss that I never wanted to pull away from. Looking at Daryl you would assume he would be rougher with this kind of thing, but he truly was the gentlest person I had ever met. He treated every touch like he was nervous he would completely break me somehow, like I was glass.

But that alone only made me crave it more.

I leaned in further to him, deepening the kiss as his hand slowly moved down my back to inch me impossibly closer. But then my mind wandered a bit, completely forgetting about the vest I had gotten him, but never had a chance to show him. So I reluctantly pulled back before my head could get any further in the clouds, sighing almost at the loss of contact.

"What's wrong?" he asked, tucking some hair behind my ear.

I shook my head, "Nothing. I just completely forgot I have something for you."

He raised a single eyebrow at me, "What is it?" he asked, almost dreading the thing I could put in his hands. His tone sounding like he assumed the worst.

"Well shit, don't sound too excited." I joked, "It's nothing bad, just wait here for a second." I said as I quickly got back up to my feet, heading back towards the tent momentarily.

My hands fished around through my bag where I had kept it hidden since I got it, finally feeling the leather material amongst everything else and pulled it out. I gave it one last glance before putting it behind my back, exiting the tent and looking towards him expectantly.

"Okay, close your eyes." I said.

He looked at me suspiciously for a moment or two, before his eyes fluttered closed anyway, trusting me blindly. My feet moved further towards him, standing right in front of him and bringing out the item to hold it out so he could see the back of it first.

"Open them."

He slowly peaked one eye open, both of them then getting wide once he saw what I was holding. I then handed it over to him so he could actually get a better look at it, but he was only wearing an expression that I couldn't read as he sat there quietly.

"I found it on a run yesterday with Glenn...I don't know, I just thought of you when I saw it. Plus, I never got you anything in return when you got me my sketchbook, so I thought this was perfect...do you like it?" I asked, his silence only make me grow uneasy.

He then finally met my eyes, not wasting another second before he picked me up in his arms, spinning me around in the air as he hugged me tight. I yelped in surprise, before I was laughing at the enthusiasm I had never seen from him before, wrapping my arms around his shoulders in return.

"I love it." he said seriously, placing me back down on my feet before turning it around and throwing it on over his long sleeve button up, "How does it look?" he asked, turning around to show me the back as well.

I nodded to myself as my eyes roamed over his figure, "Great." I confirmed as he turned back around to face me, "You look good in leather."

He cocked an eyebrow at me, "Yeah?" he asked to which I simply nodded my head, "Then I'll wear it till the damn thing falls apart."

A genuine smile made its way back onto my face at that, getting close enough to pull him back in from the new collar of his vest. He sighed deeply, his hands falling in place at either side of my waist as he showed me how much he truly loved the gift. But like always, the moment didn't last nearly as long as either one of us would've liked, him pulling back after only a few seconds.

He rested his forehead against mine with a sigh, "We should probably head back." he muttered, clear disappointment lacing his voice.

I groaned, "Why can't we just stay? I'm a lot happier here, without all their negative bullshit."

He only laughed, "I know, but don't ya think they're gonna start wonderin where we are?"

I let out a heavy breath before fully pulling away, "Yeah, alright." I muttered.

He smiled and pulled me back into him for one more quick kiss before we headed back towards the house, dreading what the rest of today would bring.

For the majority of the day, everyone was going back and forth about what to do with Randall who continued to make himself comfortable in the shed. Just like I dreaded. Another pointless conversation that would leave us all yelling and pointing at each other while nothing would get settled.

Dale was making his way around to anyone in the group he could sink his teeth into, asking if they truly thought killing him was the right thing to do. He was basically a walking survey for the entire day, but a really annoying survey that doesn't respect your opinion and wants you on his side. When he asked me my thoughts, I just told him that I didn't want him to die, but I didn't want him to live either. I had to let him down saying I wouldn't stand with him when it came time to make a decision, and I could tell he was disappointed in me, but quickly picked himself back up and moved onto the next person.

He left me alone after one last disapproving look that I couldn't get out of my head while I continued to sharpen my knives. I didn't want it to be this way and he knew that, no one did, but this is what it's come to in the end and we just had to deal with it. The world clearly wasn't the same as it once was, and though it was something that would take a while to get used to, we all at some point had to accept it.

Glenn eventually made his way over to the same spot we sat in yesterday, plopping down on his ass right next to me as I stopped my movements mometarily to see what he needed.

"We have to stop meeting like this." I joked.

He sighed heavily, "Do you think it's the right thing to do?" he asked, ignoring my comment and looking out towards Dale's retreating figure.

I followed his gaze before placing my weapons down with a huff, "I don't know, not really. But I also don't trust him enough to let him go. And we can't keep him locked up here forever."

He nodded his head, "Yeah, I know. But it still feels wrong."

"It is." I said bluntly, "But I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone here because of him. Especially you." I winked.

That caused him to let out a small laugh, and I moved closer so I could rest my head on his shoulder, in hopes of feeling some comfort at a stressful time like this.

"I don't want anything to happen to you either." he continued, "Or Maggie... or anyone. That's why I'm not trying to stop this." he said.

"I know," I whispered, "You're too good for this world, Glenn."

He scoffed at my comment, but didn't make any attempts to argue. In my mind I assumed he didn't say anything else because he knew it was true, though he didn't want to believe it, he was too good of a person. A people pleaser on steroids. Just simply wanting the best for everyone around him.

There was a long and comfortable silence that followed after my last words, soaking up the air around us before he suddenly opened his mouth again.

"So, what's going on between you and Daryl?" he asked casually.

I preferred the silence.

My eyes widened at the sudden question I wasn't expecting, my mouth becoming very dry at the thought. I couldn't tell him, not now at least. I wanted to respect Daryl's privacy and also I kind of liked the idea of nobody knowing about us. It was nice to not have watchful and knowing eyes constantly glued on us, and if I told him about the big secret, that would surely change. In fact, I would never hear the end of it.

I slowly lifted my head to look at him casually, "What do you mean?" I asked.

He gave me a pointed look, "Come on, I've seen the way you two have been acting lately. Leaving at the same time, stealing glances at each other, the way he looks at you now is like... even more intense than it used to be."

I scoffed at his words, brushing them off as if they meant nothing, "I don't know what you're talking about, we're just friends."

"Uh huh, okay, sure." he muttered, "You can lie all you want but just remember, I'm your best friend and I know everything. So, whenever you decide to tell me the truth, I want details." he stated.

"Is this really what you think about to help you sleep at night? That Daryl and I are together?" I asked him playfully.

He shrugged, "No, not necessarily, but I think you two are good for each other."

I rolled my eyes, "Whatever you say."

"So, it is true?" he asked with wide eyes and a hopeful smile.

"No." I deadpanned.

He sighed but dropped the topic completely upon hearing my tone, and our conversation continued like normal. That is until we were called into the house to finally have the discussion on what to do about Randall. It was like a reality check slapped me across the face and believe me when I say, it stung. I didn't want to fight about this, not anymore. But clearly there was no way out of it now.

The two of us made our way back up to the house and into the living room, finding a place to stand as we waited for everyone else to fill the empty space. I found myself leaning up against the wall while Glenn sat down on the couch in front of me, watching the group slowly pile in with anxious looks on their faces.

Daryl was one of the last ones to come in the room and I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He seemed to be scanning the room before his eyes landed directly onto me, making his way towards my direction only a second later. His frame leaned up against the wall right beside me, bumping his shoulder with mine as we both stood with our arms crossed in front of our chests silently.

I glanced over at him and gave him a small smile before turning back to face in front of me again, my eyes finding Glenn's amongst the crowd of people. His gaze was already on me, looking back and forth between Daryl and I as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. My eyes narrowed as I gave him a pointed look that seemed to shut him up fast, now looking everywhere but me as he awkwardly started the conversation.

"So...how do we do this? Just take a vote?" he asked.

The room was silent for a moment as everyone thought before Andrea piped in, "Does it have to be unanimous?"

"How about majority rules?" Lori suggested.

Rick sighed and shook his head, "Let's just see where everyone stands, then we'll talk through the options."

"Well, the way I see it, there's only one way to move forward." Shane spoke up.

"Killing him. Right?" Dale asked without missing a beat, "I mean why even bother taking a vote? It's clear which way the wind is blowing."

"Well if people think we should spare him, I want to know." Rick spoke.

Dale nodded a little to himself, clear disappointment in his eyes as he scanned around the room, "Well, I can tell you it's a small group, maybe just me and Glenn."

My gaze then snapped back towards Glenn in utter confusion, not even five minutes ago he was telling me the opposite, that we were on the same page. But then I saw the guilty look in his eye when he looked back at Dale and I knew he hadn't told him he changed his mind.

He kept his eyes down as he spoke quietly, "Look I-" he took a breath, "I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time but this-"

"They've got you scared!" Dale exclaimed.

"He's not one of us," Glenn said calmly, "And we've lost too many people already."

There was a painful silence that followed, the older man looking everywhere to try and confide in someone else, before gesturing to Maggie, "How about you? Do you agree with this?" he asked.

She stayed silent, biting her lip subtly in thought before she turned to Rick, "Couldn't we continue keeping him prisoner?"

"Just another mouth to feed." Daryl spoke lowly.

"It may be a lean winter." Hershel pointed out.

"Well, he could be an asset, give him a chance to prove himself." Dale pleaded.

I shook my head, "No way in hell we're just letting him walk around freely." I spoke.

"We could put an escort on him?" Maggie suggested.

Shane scoffed with a nod of his head, "Yeah, and who wants to volunteer for that duty?"

"I will!" Dale said as he raised his hand in the air.

"I don't think any of us should be walking around with this guy, okay?" Rick said.

"Look," Shane started, "Let's say we let him join us. Maybe he's helpful, maybe he's nice. We let our guard down, maybe he runs off and brings back his thirty men."

Daryl tensed up the slightest bit from beside me, enough so that I was able to catch it just out of the corner of my eye. Without looking over, I subtly found his hand beside me and intertwined our fingers together, giving it a squeeze in reassurance.

"So, the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime he may never even attempt?" Dale snapped, "If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead, there is no civilization."

"Oh my God." Shane suddenly muttered as he ran a hand over his shaved head.

I didn't know what possessed me to do this, truly I didn't. The whole situation was stressful enough as it was without his little negative comments, so when I heard him mutter something even slightly, I didn't hesitate to pick up one of the apples in a bowl next to me and chuck it at him. As soon as it bounced off of his head, his eyes snapped towards me almost instantly in silent anger, clearly just as fed up with my shit as I was with his.

"Shut up." I slightly snapped before crossing my arms back over my chest.

Glenn immediately covered his mouth as he tried to hide his laugh that threatened to escape, while something else brushed up against my arm to get my attention. It was Daryl holding out his hand for a subtle high five which I gladly accepted, looking up after to see his lips pressed together trying to suppress a smile.

There were a few seconds of silence, everyone left shocked and somewhat speechless before Hershel cleared his throat, "Anyway... could you drive him further out? Leave him like you planned?"

"You... barely came back last time. There are walkers, you could break down, you could get lost." Lori stressed.

"Or get ambushed." Daryl said.

"...Maybe we shouldn't put our own people at risk." Glenn said.

Patricia then stepped up with a worried look on her face, "If you do go through with it... how would you do it?"

"We could hang him, just snap his neck." Shane suggested, glaring back at me every chance he got.

I was tempted to get another apple, wanting to get it through his skull that not everything was about him and his own opinion, but I refrained. Even though it would be just as hilarious the second time as it was the first.

"I thought about that, shooting him may be more humane." Rick stated.

"Well, what about the body?" T-Dog asked, "Do we bury him?"

Dale then stepped forward again with widened eyes, "Woah, woah, hold on you're talking about this like it's already been decided."

"We've been talking about this all day and then some." I said, "Going around in circles, you just want to go around in circles again?"

"This is a young man's life!" he snapped, "And it is worth more than a five minute conversation...Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him!" he pointed towards Rick, "Now look, he's been tortured, he's going to be executed. How are we better than those people we're so afraid of?"

That's what made everyone stop and think for a moment. I could see Dale's point on some things, but I wasn't planning on changing my mind, nor was anyone else here it seemed like. We didn't know him or his group and when Daryl came back from talking to him earlier, I could just tell that this guy couldn't be trusted. Not when his people were so proud of doing those horrible things.

"We're better because we don't kidnap children. We don't torture women. That right there is just the tip of the iceberg of what his people have done. So yeah, I'd say we're a little bit better than them. He can't be trusted, and you know it, not after everything he spilled about his group." I spoke.

"So, what is the solution?" Andrea suddenly asked, "I mean we haven't come up with a single valuable option yet. I wish we could-"

"So, let's work on it!" Dale interrupted.

"Stop it! Just stop it." Carol suddenly cried, "I'm sick of everyone arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for us to decide something like this. Please decide, either of you, both of you. But leave me out of it."

Dale then pointed a finger at her, "Not speaking out, or killing him yourself, there's no difference."

"Hey!" I snapped, "You don't get to put all of this on her just because she doesn't want to be a part of this fucked up decision."

"That's enough!" Rick yelled before I could continue, though I saw Carol smiling towards me gratefully. "Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision has the chance now." he concluded.

There was just silence. Nobody wanted to talk about this anymore. Nobody wanted to think about it anymore. We all just wished for something to happen, something that would cause us just to move on from this.

Dale then couldn't take the silence, "You once said we don't kill the living." he said to Rick.

"Yeah, that was before the living tried to kill us." he said.

"But don't you see if we do this, the people we were, the world that we knew is dead... and this new world is ugly, it's harsh, it's survival of the fittest! And that's a world I don't want to live in. And I don't believe that any of you do, I can't. Please... let's just do what's right." he begged, tears now flooding in his eyes.

I assumed the room would stay silent, finally sealing in the realistic decision to eliminate the threat. But Andrea stepped forward, almost hesitantly, but yet sure that this is what she wanted to do.

"He's right." she muttered, "We should try to find another way."

Rick only nodded, "Anybody else?" he asked.

Everyone now sat perfectly still, avoiding Dale's gaze as much as they could with him now looking towards everyone pleadingly.

He nodded his head with a scoff at the silence, "Are you gonna watch too?" he asked, "Nah you'll go hide your heads in your tents and try to forget that we're slaughtering a human being. I won't be a part of it." he mumbled before heading towards the door to walk out of the room.

His head was hung low as he made his way past everyone, briefly stopping to glance at Daryl and placed a hand on his shoulder, "This group is broken." he said quietly before making his way towards the front door, leaving with a slam.

Processing everything all at once, including Dale's exit, I was the next one to leave after that. I didn't want to think about it anymore than I had to, and the decision was already made. That was it.

I walked until I felt like I couldn't anymore, out onto one of the many fields to watch the sun go down in front of me. I always loved this part of the day, where the sky was filled with the most beautiful shades of color I've ever seen. It made me feel calmer, it made me somehow forget everything just for a while. Even back when life was normal, I would always watch the sunset to just clear my head from the things that were bothering me the most. And right now I felt I needed the quiet more than ever.

I never thought life would come to this. Truly I didn't. Pushing us to a point where we would kill a man just because we didn't trust him. It was all fucked up seeing what the current world had come too after the dead began to rise. But in the back of my mind, I silently knew all of this could've been prevented.

If Rick hadn't helped him, brought him back here in the first place, we wouldn't have had to deal with this at all. Deal with something that was clearly tearing this group apart. I by all means wasn't blaming him for just trying to do the right thing, but you bet your ass if I had a time machine right now I would use it.

Though it wasn't long before I wasn't alone anymore, Daryl's heavy footsteps slowly came up behind me, taking a seat close to my left as he followed my gaze. Neither one of us said anything for a while, just simply enjoying the view in front of us along with each other's presence. It only lasted a few minutes before he finally spoke up.

"Ya okay?" he hesitantly asked.

I turned my head towards him once I heard his voice, "Yeah." I nodded, "I'm just thinking."

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "Bout Dale?"

I shrugged, "About everything." I muttered vaguely before tilting my head at him in question, "Do you think he's right?" I suddenly asked.

I was surprised how quiet the question came out of my mouth, but Daryl heard it nonetheless, "Nah, we gotta keep everyone safe. We can't do that if we have him here. Can't trust him."

I nodded, though a part of me was still unsure. The last thing I wanted was to put someone down, saying that their opinion wasn't important or didn't matter, and I assumed that's exactly how Dale felt. But another part of me was sure that the decision we came to was the right one, even if the older man didn't agree with us right away, maybe someday he would thank us.

Although Daryl sensed I was thinking too much, tilting my chin up so I would look him in the eye again, "If it makes ya feel better, Shane's got a big ol red mark on his forehead from where ya hit him." he said, starting to chuckle halfway through.

I found myself laughing right along with him as the memory played back in my head, "You know what, that does make me feel better. Thank you."

He shrugged almost bashfully, "Anytime."

I found myself staring at him with such admiration without even meaning to, the sunset making him look more perfect if that was even possible. As I looked into his eyes, I felt a wave of comfort and happiness wash over me. He made me feel safer than I had ever felt before and I knew I could count on this man for anything. Though I didn't know what the future held for us, I somehow had a feeling we would be in it together.

~ Thanks for reading!

47 notes · View notes

niki-phoria · 7 months

Note

It’s me again!

I love how you did my most recent request. It’s so, so cute! I would like to make a request again if you’re still active.

So, this is gonna be during blessed-cursed era where enha and taller!8thmember!reader are gonna be filming for the 1thek performance (where jay had black lipstick at the time). After they were done filming, jay and reader praise each other and jay showers reader’s face with kisses, leaving lipstick marks all over.

Sorry if this sounds a little suggestive for you, but you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to. But if you want, I’m sure it’ll come out just fine. I know you’re a great writer.

- 🕊️

pairing: jay x male!8th member!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff/comfort word count: 669

includes: 8th member reader, jay sits in reader's lap

a/n: thank you so much <33 i'm sorry for the irregular posting lately, i've been busy with school/studying so rn i'm only posting when i have the motivation, but i am working on a few things !! your reqs mean so much to me and i hope you like it :))

the cheers of the audience are nearly overwhelming as you stand on the stage, maintaining your ending pose as the cameras linger on you for a few seconds. a soft breath of relief escapes you when the cameras turn off, signaling the final end of your performance.

jay is quick to make his way across the stage to stand beside you. he wraps an arm around your waist as you wave goodbye to the audience before disappearing behind the curtains once again.

you move in a relatively silent daze as you help the staff members remove your microphone and dab some of the sweat off of your neck and temples. you can feel jay’s gaze on you as you slip away from the rest of the group and back into your dressing room under the excuse of quickly freshening up.

you’re alone for mere seconds before jay silently follows you into the dressing room, quietly shutting the door behind himself. “y/n,” he says, wandering over to stand behind you. he furrows his eyebrows slightly as he reaches out, tilting your head up so you’re looking into his eyes. “is everything okay?”

“yeah, yeah,” you breathe, hoping your half-hearted reassurances will be enough to deter jay’s concerns. though his silence is enough of a response - he’s not buying it.

a soft sigh escapes your lips as you break eye contact. “it’s just… i think i could’ve done better today. my footwork was sloppy and my voice cracked.”

a frown tugs at the corners of jay’s lips. “jagi, look at me,” he whispers. “you’re amazing.” he leans in, pulling you into a chaste kiss. you carefully tug him down to sit in your lap, keeping him close to you. a chuckle escapes his lips when you unconsciously follow his touch.

“incredible.” this time his lips brush against your cheek. you can feel the weight of the world slipping off of your shoulders with each kiss he presses against your skin. “show stopping.” you chuckle softly when he leans in to press another kiss against a sensitive point of your neck. you squirm slightly at the ticklish feeling, though jay is quick to gently tighten his grip to escape you from leaving.

you only catch the mischievous glint in his eyes for a second before he leans in once again, repeatedly peppering kisses all over your face. “jay!” you laugh. your arms find their familiar home around his shoulders.

you shiver when his lips brush against the space just underneath your jawline. jay softly smiles to himself at your reaction; his fingers slip underneath the thick fabric of your oversized white hoodie. a comforting warmth spreads through you as he traces a few indiscernible shapes against your bare skin.

jay raises a hand up to cup your face with his hand. he brushes his thumb against your skin as you both smile at each other. “i love you. you were incredible out there - just like you always are.” his words are hushed as they escape his lips, as if they’re little promises to be kept solely between the two of you; the moment was forever captured in your memories.

he leans in, sealing the unspoken oath with yet another sweet kiss pressed against your lips. “just like you always will be.”

you smile, leaning down to press a kiss of your own against jay’s cheek. “let’s go home? i would kill for some of your curry.”

“of course, love,” he smiles. “but you should probably clean up before we leave.”

you twist around, glancing at yourself in the dressing room mirror. despite his confident facade, you can see the light flush that has begun to spread up his neck and seep onto his cheeks when you meet his eyes once again.

a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips as you admire the light stains decorating your face and neck - temporary evidence of your affection in the dressing room etched all across your skin. “you should wear lipstick more often.”

if you enjoy my work, consider checking out my enha masterlist or rebloging this post !!

102 notes · View notes

daily-hanamura · 9 months

Note

I was wondering if you had any analyses on yosuke's dances in P4D, especially his partner dances wrt his character/personality... or even just generally what you thought of his moves. I think atlus/p-studio enjoy putting more than meets the eye into the choreography for the dances, but i wondered what the account that does really good yosuke analyses thinks. >:) Cheers

Oh wow you're very kind!! but this is also a very high level ask as I am not at all a dance expert and I'm still working my way through all of the dances, but I will do my best! o7

Long post incoming!

I remember reading an interview which said that Yosuke's dance style is very much inspired by male idols with a hip-hop flair, and I can definitely see it in his dance? iirc there was a pretty strong influence of hip-hop in jpop of that era - I'm thinking about Johnny's entertainment boybands which I think pretty much dominated the jpop male idol scene around 2010 - just look at Arashi's Monster dance routine, which imo is a super quintessential dance of that time. Like Jun's breakdance around 0:45, but also more generally, the sort of precise, rapid-pace footwork and moves that is also very evident in both Backside of the TV and Your Affection. I think it really suits him for a few reasons

Yosuke generally has the highest agility stat and tends to be the fastest char (for me at least? but i've also seen enough fics that reference how quick he moves), so it makes sense that this sort of high-pace dance suits him. Obviously Yosuke has a very good sense of beat listening to music all the time in combat and moving with it, so despite his real world clumsiness, he's well equipped to take on the kind of rigorous idol dance style that's typically very demanding to learn and perfect.

At the same time, it also matches his narrative - Yosuke in canon is very familiar with idol culture, both with Risette and Kanamin Kitchen, so it's not too surprising? But what I thought was kind of interesting was that there aren't really any references to male idol groups in world, and even his bedroom in p4au only shows female idol posters and some mainstream American albums. However, in the interview scene at the end of p4d, he mentions to Yukiko that he's tried to copy moves from stuff he's seen. But his dance style is more similar to boy idol bands - with the hip hop influence especially - as opposed to being similar to female idol bands - which tend to be preppier in dance style (see AKB48 for example). (Or just compare Rise's dance with Yosuke's.) So idk if this is a random oversight on Atlus/P-Studio's part, or if Yosuke is a closet male idol enjoyer (which would be very funny but also on brand for him, especially if he's still in the closet).

The other thing about idol music and group idol dance styles more generally is how much emphasis there is on harmony. If you look at the Arashi video again, there's kind of the expectation that all members are dancing in sync with each other. The thing about that sort of group dance is that you don't really have "leads" and "backup" dances, because no one member is really supposed to stand out or take centre stage since they're all equals. And I think that's a fun thing to think about because, you know, Yosuke Rank 10. But it's also in his partner dances with the others - I feel like Yosuke tends to harmonise with the others and their dance styles the most, maybe he's second to Yu? But Yosuke tends to match his dancing to the style of the other person when he joins them in Fever, like in Naoto's or Chie's (caveat, maybe I'm just Yosuke-biased LMAO). I think there's a lot to say about it because on the one hand, his captain ressentiment attitude means he sees his friends as better but he also wants to catch up to them and be their equals! but also, on the other hand, Yosuke doesn't want to stand out? And him keeping his head down is very much in character for him throughout most of the game, so :')

(but also souyo lens time his partner dances with yu is SO GOOD they mirror one another so well and it makes me so weak)

I think my final point is on how idol dancing is kind of on brand for him as well? Yosuke is kind of a vain person - he likes fashionable clothes! He likes to look cool! (and we love him for it!!) - and I think one thing that kind of marks idol dancing compared to, idk, interpretive dancing as an extreme example, is how idol dances tend to emphasize... looking good? The whole point of idols is to sell them on their aesthetics, after all, and good looks are kind of a minimum criteria to being in an idol group. The dances are choreographed to maximise the dancer's appeal, so it's all smooth moves that present them in the best light.

Those are my extremely long thoughts!! but yeah tldr I think his dance style really suits him on every level I can't imagine anything better for him ngl. Anyone with more expert knowledge feel free to pitch in though

#asks #sillyjazzy69420 #thank you for this ask this was actually super fun to think about!! even if i'm not sure i've done a good job haha #“chai everyone dances well together in their partner dance” “chai your yosuke bias is showing” I'M DOING MY BEST #also is it just me or does anyone else also think yosuke is one of the best dancers in the group apart from rise?#i mean yosuke and naoto are my fav. i love yu but he dances like it's 80s disco so unfortunately he's in second #“chai did you have a secret idol watching era?” i neither confirm nor deny

79 notes · View notes

ask-serendipity-sky · 9 months

Text

🐥🐿Pretty little bros💐💐

Play On the Street for bg music, please.

Jihope.

The friendship that puts all others to shame.

These men are #friendship goals.

When I first got to the fandom, I noticed what surrounded Jimin. I'm Jimin centric. But there wasn't much chatter about Hobi's presence in Jimin's life. But at time passed, it became more obvious that Hobi and Jimin were close. And were getting closer. There is no denying that these men are soul mates.

Looking back at old content, jihope always had a stable relationship. A roommate and dongsaeng&hyung bond. Hobi did a lot of instructing and Jimin respected him.

youtube

And they both respected and complemented each other's position in the group. They still do.

youtube

But as time passed, their bond appears to have grown and stabilized to a degree where you can really say they are brothers, best friends, soul mates.

And it's important to say that sometimes your soul is still growing until it's ready to match with one of its mates. Such is the case with jihope.

Perhaps their bond doesn't need such labels.

Through our screens, we are able to see the respect and admiration they have for each other, though.

We've all been witness to Jimin's journey. He wrote an entire album of this. And now, that he is on the other side, Hobi is still with him. That says a lot.

Not everyone decides to stay with you until things are better and you don't allow everyone to accompany you on your journey.

The same can be said for Hobi. During dark times, Jimin has shown up for him. During happy times, Jimin is still there in Jimin mode for his Hobi hyung.

In Latin America, Hobi is nicknamed "Solecito", little sun. And he has proven to be that to Jimin as they have continued their friendship through the hard times that we've seen and the probable hard times that they've kept from us.

Their friendship is balanced by the fun times and adventures they have decided to share with us too.

At this point, I think we all want to be their 3rd wheel and play sand castles with them.

In an era where "posting for each other means nothing" Hobi constantly shows Jimin support with his cute comments on instagram.

It was Jimin who supported Hobi during Hobipalooza and had a little freak out when he thought Hobi had spanked a dancer's butt.

It was Jimin who was pumped for Hobi because he got to meet his idol, J. Cole.

It was Hobi who took Jimin purple tulips and a hand-written note when Jimin had his debut stage in Korea.

It was Jimin who was there when Hobi shaved his hair for military enlistment.

It is Hobi, it is Jimin that have given us so many amusing and funny moments and sweet memories that we now hold on to dearly.

It is Hobi, it is Jimin...this phrase can go for a while because their friendship and support is visible and ever so present.

I hope we can continue being witnesses to a bond like this.

Jihope for life!

#jimin #jhope #jihope #hobi

126 notes · View notes

real-life-senshi · 2 months

Note

May I ask for your headcanons of Reinako’s relationship after canon? Could be for manga or PGSM!

Hello friend! Thank you for dropping by and giving me a prompt to gush on Reinako even more! XD

First off, here are two sets of PGSM Reinako headcanons for those who haven't seen them before. They are all connected. XD

Reinako Headcanon 1

Reinako Headcanon 2

And thanks to this ask, here is a brain dump of more headcanon:

PGSM Reinako Headcanon Part 3:

Timeline/stages of life of the Reinako development:

Following directly after the Final Act, during the girls' 3rd year in middle school, Minako was a bit awkward about how to act casually around the Senshi team. Rei helped her out the most before the group dynamic fully settled - e.g. never stopped inviting Minako even if Minako often needed to miss out on group plans due to work without making Minako feel bad (not that the others intentionally make Minako feel guilty, but they just try too hard, versus Rei doesn't make a big deal about it); calling Minako out when Minako holds back on sharing her candid thoughts or feelings with the team for some silly reason or due to occupational hazard of being an idol; calling Makoto and Usagi out when they fangirl too hard and was making Minako feel awkward, making it a struggling for Minako to balance building a genuine friendship or treat them as fangirls. (Ami was also a bit shy with Minako at the start, so Rei had to run some interference there, but Usagi and Makoto were the troublemakers.)

I struggle to make up my mind on which is the better high school scenario: if Minako went to Juuban with Ami, Makoto and Usagi just like manga canon, or because of her fame and celebrity status she ended up going to T*A academy for high school with Rei (better security because of all the politician’s and big businessmen’s daughters in the school, etc), Regardless, high school period is when Rei and Minako really settled as best friends, getting to the point they practically know everything about each other and would be in contact almost everyday.

By the 3rd year of high school approaching graduation, Minako starts to realize she has romantic feelings for Rei. She suspects Rei might actually reciprocate her feelings, except Rei is too dense to realize or too scarred by his dad's abandonment of Rei and Rei's mom to consider exploring a romantic relationship. Knowing both Rei's and her own career trajectory would take them away from Tokyo with limited contact after graduation, Minako decided to not broach the topic.

Rei and Minako drifted apart a bit after high school graduation until the Special Act. After the kiss at the hospital (see Headcanon Part 1), and then UsaMamo's wedding, they both matured enough to face their feelings and started seriously considering starting a relationship. They had to do a lot of soul-searching and shared really candid conversations to get through all the emotional baggage, personal barriers and doubts they both carried, but they eventually got there.

And then they live happily ever after following what I described in Headcanon Part 2. haha (My actual headcanon of post-Special Act Reinako is drastically different from my fanfic, coz apparently I thrive most in writing angst and battle. LOL)

High school era PGSM Reinako:

While Rei took the lead in helping Minako find her place in the Senshi team dynamic and getting comfortable with just being a normal teenager during their middle-school period, Minako was the one that instigated most if not all the shenanigans that led to their deepened friendship in the 3 years of high school, elevating their relationship from just-friends to best friend status.

I always imagined Minako pranked Rei by surprising her on a school visit at T*A to "check out options for a new high school". Minako and her manager Saitou Sugao are being led on a school tour by a nun, and when they spot Rei, Sugao (who is of course in on the prank with Minako) makes a whole scene of barging into the classroom trying to scout Rei into stardom in front of all of Rei's peers as if it's his first time meeting Rei and exclaiming he has found the next shining star of Japan, after Minako of course! Rei was absolutely mortified, though the Senshi team had a great laugh when Minako shared the story in their next hangout. Rei was not pleased.

Following the above headcanon, I headcanon that Rei achieves the same intra-school celebrity status by the time she enters her high school division, similar to how Rei is a school celebrity in T*A in the manga. The drastic change from live-action canon was first prompted by the whole stardom scouting fiasco Minako and Sugao caused. Secondly, Minako learned by chance that Rei was bullied at school throughout middle school through Usagi describing how she met Rei. When Minako confronted Rei about it, Rei just shrugged and brushed it off coz she was used to it and the bullies are practically harmless with more bark than bite, but Minako was still so upset about it that she went to post on her public blog (equivalent to celebrity Twitter/Insta nowadays) about how Rei's her best friend and the coolest, kindest person who helped her get through her illness and recovery, etc. She wrote a whole sob story narrative about how thankful she is for having Rei in her life and how Rei was a source of inspiration and a role model to her, etc. etc. and posted some photos she had taken with Rei. Suddenly all of Rei's peers see Rei in a new light and think she's the coolest and want to befriend her for a chance to also meet Minako. The teachers started actually addressing and punishing the bullies and the school atmosphere was changed anew. The whole deal freaked Rei out, while Minako felt very pleased with herself.

Once Rei joined the archery club in T*A's high school division, she gained even more fame from winning archery competitions at the district and then national level. Her achievement adds to the furor Minako caused, and the lowerclassmen in T*A practically fawn over Rei and founded a fan club with merch. Minako loves teasing Rei about it and secretly becomes a fan club member with platinum status from buying all the merch.

^ The fan club is how Minako knows Rei's archery competition schedule, coz Rei is too humble to ever mention it, and also because every time she gets way too embarrassed by how loud the Senshi team is when they cheer for her, because Minako makes sure the whole Senshi team is decked out with inflated thunder sticks and signs whenever they go cheer for Rei at competitions.

Other misc PGSM Reinako headcanon:

Rei's the one who always remembers and is mindful of Minako's distaste for whipped cream, and stops Usagi's rampage on getting strawberry shortcake for every Christmas because Usagi always reminisces on the cake she and Minako had on the Ferris wheel and forgets Minako’s actual food preference. Rei knew coz she actually paid attention to the lyrics in Sayonara ~Sweet Days.

It's very often Usagi and Makoto would drag the girls around town to try out a new cafe or shop that's selling some new sweet drink, pastry or snack (shaved ice, ice cream, crepe, cake, etc. the stuff you'd see people post on foodie social media). If Minako ever bows out of getting something for herself, Rei will make sure to buy something she knows Minako will likely enjoy so Minako can share some of hers (usually strawberry-flavoured coz that's Minako's favourite), and without fail Minako would take some of Rei’s 'just for a taste because she’s curious', and then inevitably eating half of Rei’s. lol And if Rei is buying something for Minako or knows Minako will inevitably take some from her, Rei would always also buy a bottle of water to accompany whatever crazy sweet things Usagi makes them eat/drink - and it has to be room temperature only, for Minako because Minako needs to be very careful with maintaining her vocal cords for singing.

Whenever Minako and Rei get into a serious fight but both struggle to reconcile, they both would separately go to Artemis and poor Artemis can usually help them sort it out after. But if things get really bad and they notice Artemis is feeling caught in the crossfire, Minako would then go to Makoto, and Rei would go to Ami to process their thoughts... or vent. Makoto and Ami's involvement becomes a yardstick of whether "shit's-hitting-the-fan" or not.

Manga Reinako Headcanon...?

I've not thought as much about the manga Reinako headcanon because I perpetually live in PGSM brainrot. But I do think manga Reinako eventually established a partners-for-life relationship in the manga universe as well.

Different from how I think PGSM Reinako eventually enters an openly romantic, crazy-in-love-for-each-other relationship (once they get over their personal crap), I see manga Reinako has a more subtle and delicate soulmate relationship that is built on deep partnership and mutual understanding in life and duty, especially considering their near immortality and role in Crystal Tokyo. Their relationship dances back and forth on the line of being romantic involved in their personal life, and being a kind of kindred spirit in their view and attitude towards their duty. They've dated, and fallen in love with each other, but across the years also realize sometimes they need space from each other to maintain healthy boundaries between private life and their duty. When they enter a break from each other, it's nothing bad and always with mutual understanding, done amicably - stepping away so they don't get "sick of each other" since eternity is a damn long time! But if one of them is ever feeling down or struggling with something, they are each other's default go-to person, their safe place, and they can discard their masks and break when they need it, especially when they start outliving their non-Senshi family and friends while the world they know of slowly changing and morphing into Crystal Tokyo.

Once they stopped aging, Minako would still try to find opportunities to enjoy life as a human when it's possible, while Rei was more comfortable just accepting fate and being Sailor Mars for life. When there's no crisis to deal with, Minako makes Rei de-transform and drags Rei out of the palace for a girls' night with her in the city.

I see manga MakoAmi to have a similar partnership as well. Though their way of showing affection for their partner is a bit more overt and less complicated than Reinako's. Rei and Minako are so interesting to me because I feel they are more polar opposites in some ways, yet both are so similar in how deeply layered their personality and backstories are that it complicates their relationship but also strengthens them.

#reinako #hino rei #aino minako #sailor mars #sailor venus #pretty guardian sailor moon #pgsm #sailor moon live action #sailor moon manga #khmyh replies #anonymous #headcanon

24 notes · View notes

roguelov · 9 months

Note

AU where Morpheus wasn’t in the fishbowl and was able to experience the punk/rock/early 2000s edgy eras.

Death pulls him out of The Dreaming to experience humanity again since the times are changing and he needs to not be cooped up in his room like a moody teenager. They go to festivals where humans are more comfortable, everyone is dressed similarly and more expressive. Their truer selves in a sense.

Morpheus rolls his eyes at the humongous groups of people, the loud screaming of lyrics, he’s still not fond of interacting with humans and finds this whole trip a waste of time.

Suddenly the show starts and Reader is the opening act on stage playing to their hearts content. They’ve got the whole crowds’ attention in the palm of their hand. The songs’ lyrics are deep, catchy and has everyone else screaming/singing along.

Morpheus can practically feel everyone daydreaming about living better lives, getting that job, speaking up to their parents, etc. and is stunned at how much was brought out from all these humans just from one of Reader’s songs.

They end their song with a bang where confetti bursts from the edges of the stage and the crowd is loving their slow exit off to the side as they wave and blow kisses. Morpheus’ eyes follow them the whole way and the feeling he’s receiving from all the daydreamers slowly dissipates.

The main acts make their way on stage after a few minutes and the rest of the show continues without Reader being seen again. Morpheus being slightly sad he can’t hear another song. The sensation is the same from the other singers but not as strong as earlier with everyone daydreaming when Reader was at center stage.

He and Death stayed for the whole event and she asks what his thoughts are from the experience.

“What of the first singer? They were only onstage once compared to the others.”

“Why don’t we go see them then?” Death smiles knowingly and leads them both to the backstage area.

Reader is in their own section getting cleaned up and making sure they have everything. When they spot Death they run up to her with a big smile and hug her.

“I’m glad you could make it! What did you think?” They ask, still vibrating with adrenaline from the festival.

They converse with Death for a while as Morpheus stands off to the side, silently observing this person who evokes such strong dreams from people with their voice and music. A portion of himself in The Dreaming is doing research about this human who has caught his eye.

Just who are they? What drives them to make songs? What’s their inspiration? Are they single?

“And who’s you’re friend?” He suddenly hears.

Morpheus is pulled back to The Waking and sees Reader is giving him their full attention. He’s tongue-tied. Words of introduction lodged in his throat with no way to escape. The brief look into Reader’s dreams leaving him breathless and hungry to know more.

Death quirks an eyebrow at this sudden silence but hides a smirk and tells Reader a little about her brother. Eventually finding his voice, Morpheus joins the conversation just as Death excuses herself to return to her duty.

Cue friends to lovers with the King of Dreams and Nightmares being the number one fan of Reader. He always watches them when they have a show and is the first to hear a finished song and asked for any critiques. They both are fashion icons, mostly with Reader helping find an outfit for Morpheus.

This idea popped into my head and just kept going anyways I hope you liked it as much as I do 🤗

DUDE I DONT LIKE THE IDEA I FUCKING LOVE IT

Dream adored when you visited.

He especially loved the music which always followed you. It may be a hum on your lips or an actual melody - a half completed song - trailing behind you on the wind.

You were his lovely muse, his songbird.

Currently, you were in the Dreaming. You were in a music room - one Dream specifically created for you - filled with instruments found all over the Waking and the best recording studio ever imaginable.

Sitting on a couch, a laptop rested in your lap with headphones dangling around your neck. You were almost feverishly working on your newest song, one that had been stuck in your head all day. It was going along okay, it could be better. You hit a bump in the process and you wanted a fresh pair of ears.

“Dream? Could you have a listen to this?” You asked, handing over the headphones.

Dream, directly beside you with a book in hand, set the book in his lap and nodded. “I would love to.”

He put on the headphones and you anxiously pressed play. Dream was taken away, taken on a journey with your music and how you weaved your lyrics.

You truly were gifted.

Once it finished, he handed over the headphones. “So?” You nervously asked.

“I loved it.”

You groaned, “But you always say that. What does it need? Something feels missing. The chorus is catching yet it seems to … I don’t know, basic? It feels like I need better wording.”

Dream smiled softly. “I’m sure everyone will love it.” I know I do, he thought.

“But -“

“How about you take a break?” He suggested. “You had been at it all night since you first came. Relax and I’m sure time away will provide new perspective.”

You grumbled, glancing back at your screen. “How about just one more hour? I’m right there, I know it. Maybe it’s the second verse, to be honest I wasn’t completely sold on it. Or maybe it’s the melody altogether -“

He closed your laptop.

You gasped, and playfully glared at him. “Dream -“

“Time away is what is best, songbird.” He stood up, extending his hand towards you. “You will figure it out, I know you will. But, you must give yourself a break.”

You sighed. You placed the laptop and headphones down. Your hand slid into his. He easily helped you up. “Okay, okay, Sandman, I’ll relax.”

He smiled softly. “That’s all I ask.”

#the sandman #morpheus #dream of the endless #morpheus x reader #dream of the endless x reader #notwhatiseem #ask

67 notes · View notes

kazarinn · 5 months

Text

I'm finishing up the retranslation for Saint Tail's anime right now, so I'm at the stage where I'm thinking about my next few projects, and I've currently at least decided that I want to do something for Megumi Tachikawa's other works as well. Tachikawa is an incredibly amazing writer, and it's such a shame that her work has been so poorly represented in translation; even beyond the fact that a good chunk of her work hasn't even been translated at all, the ones that were translated seem to have been run through the translation equivalent of a meat grinder.

I prioritized Saint Tail both because it's her most famous work and because it's the one that took the most damage (it's definitely pretty disturbing to find out that around half of the plot was translated to suggest the opposite of what it was actually supposed to mean!), but I do want to call attention to Cyber Idol ☆ Mink (localized by Tokyopop as Mink), generally considered to be Saint Tail's spiritual sequel. Unlike with Saint Tail, the Tokyopop release of Mink didn't flip it horizontally, and it doesn't have incomprehensible nonsense lines like "Great Big Deal!!" that Saint Tail's release did, but...well, I think some examples would demonstrate it better.

Here's Tokyopop's version of a spread from chapter 6:

And here's the proof of concept I sent to my group when pitching this series (done very quickly, so definitely not my best work, but probably enough to get the point across), which was translated directly from the Japanese text:

...Huh? That's not even remotely similar! The original scene is meant to draw a clear parallel between Mink's view of the chocolate and her view of herself, and the progression of the scene plays on the ambiguity of whether "あたしじゃなくて" means "this isn't from me" or "this isn't me". The reason Mink is considered to be Saint Tail's spiritual sequel is that it explores similar concepts of self-identity and the feeling of inadequacy compared to an idealized, sanitized self, something Mink is even less subtle about than Saint Tail was at times, but the nuance here seems to have been lost in translation. (In fact, I'm not entirely sure what must have led to the Tokyopop version's interpretation; the Japanese text doesn't resemble what's there at all.)

Which also means that when you get to later parts of the series like this...

(Tokyopop version)

(Our proof of concept retranslation)

In this case, the Tokyopop version roughly corresponds to the Japanese text but interprets it in ways that really don't get the point of this scene very well, ranging from not catching the specific use of "small and tiny" (ちっぽけな) invoking the earlier scene with the chocolate to making too many specific assumptions about Mink and Kyo's feelings that are actually out of character. (Let alone the fact that the way they phrase Mink's lines here really just doesn't convey the sheer level of desperation and emotion at all...)

For instance, it's a very important part of Mink's character that she doesn't have self-awareness about wanting to feel needed; she says 必要としてくれるなら because she legitimately feels like she's useless or has nothing to offer without the help of the WANNA-BE program. This kind of thing is a common trait of Tachikawa protagonists, and while I know many people might think it's not that big of a deal, I think the difference between "wanting attention and thinking your alter ego is cooler" and "having insecurity from believing you'll never be good enough unless you blot out all the undesirable parts of yourself" is big enough to mean something to a lot of people who would be reading this!

In any case, once I'm done with Saint Tail, I do have some other projects I want to prioritize first, since Mink's official translation is at least somewhat readable (kind of a low bar, but...). But I did want to call attention to this for now in case anyone was interested, because while Saint Tail and Mink are far from the only shoujo or magical girl manga from this era to have such poor treatment in localization, I don't think this issue has been well-documented when it comes to Tachikawa's work, and it really does break my heart.

#Cyber Idol Mink #Dennou Shoujo Mink #Mink #Saint Tail #Kaitou Saint Tail #Megumi Tachikawa #Magical Girl #Shoujo Manga #Shoujo

39 notes · View notes

linghxr · 1 year

Text

I watched all the Chinese idol survival shows so you don’t have to (but you should anyway)

About three years ago, I watched 创造101 Produce 101 China, and it kinda changed my life. Yes, really! This show dragged me down a rabbit hole that eventually led to me watching many more Chinese shows and listening to almost exclusively Chinese music. I’m even branching out to cdramas now. All under the guise of, um, improving my listening comprehension!

OK, so “all the Chinese idol survival shows” might be an exaggeration. I’ll be talking about these three classic idol group survival shows from the “golden age” period of 2018-2021:

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

创造101 Produce 101 China

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

Here is the order I actually watched these 10 seasons in:

创造101 Produce 101 China

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

以团之名 All For One

少年之名 We Are Young

I started 创造101 Produce 101 China in late 2019/early 2020 and finished 少年之名 We Are Young on Christmas Day 2022. I was literally tearing up. Three franchises, ten seasons, something around 1000 contestants, and three years of my life.

In order to refresh my memory for this post, I rewatched almost all of the performance clips from these shows. I didn’t watch the initial evaluations or any practice room videos (it’s simply too much content). It was simultaneously fun and exhausting. I will go over why you should/shouldn’t watch each season and give any other notable remarks. Let’s get started!

*Please note that for any YouTube links below, there is a risk of muted sections, parts/entire episodes being unavailable, and missing/out of sync subtitles. For official links, whether or not a VIP subscription is needed may change in the future. Fansubbed content may have sections or entire episodes missing.

>> 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You (iQiyi)

iQiyi rebranded the series by changing its name from 偶像练习生 Idol Producer to 青春有你 Youth with You after the first season. However, they really didn’t change much about the format at all. From what I’ve heard, iQiyi doesn’t have as large a budget as Tencent, which you can see reflected in the show’s production quality. However, I’ve long felt that this franchise has a real charming quality that makes up for lack of flashy sets.

偶像练习生 Idol Producer

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Idol Producer Subs (English fansubs, missing part of finale)

Why you should watch it: Though not China’s first idol survival show, this show was the first of a new era. It’s iconic! The theme song is a bop, 10/10. Also, I had heard of all of the winners before I watched this season, so there’s some real cultural relevance. I can’t believe it was nearly five years ago! The whole top 20 remains iconic to this day. In most seasons, there are at least one or two popular contestants who I don’t really like or don’t see the appeal of, but that wasn’t the case this season. This season is also a lot shorter than later seasons, so it’s easier for those who are new to survival shows.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, there is a lack of flashy sets/stages here. The background of the stage often looks empty. There were some performances that were better than I remembered, but there were others that were...not. I’m pretty sure 黄明昊 Justin was 15 when the show began, which shocks me in a BAD way. And if you’re a Jackson Wang fan, I think he barely appeared in the second half of the show.

My picks: 郑锐彬 Zheng Ruibin, 周彦辰 Zhou Yanchen, 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun, 王子异 Wang Ziyi, 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie, 周锐 Zhou Rui

Favorite performance: PPAP A组 PPAP group A This was a powerhouse group. And it was hilarious to watch the boys’ reaction when they heard the whole song and realized the style was not at all what they had initially expected! They totally pulled it off though.

Iconic moments: 蔡徐坤 Cai Xukun’s outfit (and ego) in the initial evaluation, B-A-L-A-N-C-E, when we realized 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie can sing too, 林彦俊 Lin Yanjun's platinum hair, one of the songs was called Mack Daddy which causes me great distress to this day, 周锐 Zhou Rui aka 周美锐 Zhou Meirui, I’m still laughing over 朱星杰 Zhu Xingjie’s resemblance to 胡巴 Huba.

Verdict: Though this was not my first idol survival show, I think it would be a great first foray for anyone. It’s iconic for a reason. You should watch it (and I might rewatch it).

青春有你1 Youth with You 1

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch via Qing Chun You Ni Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This season is the forgotten child of the franchise, but it still had some great performances and a lot of talented contestants. The theme song is also probably my favorite out of all ten theme songs! It was love at first listen. Personally, I enjoyed this team of mentors more than the first season’s. I also feel that the vocal-based performances were stronger this season. For instance, there were great performances of 李荣浩 Li Ronghao songs.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I feel that some of the magic of the first season was lost, and overall the contestants were not as memorable or charismatic in my opinion. There were also several contestants I found extremely irritating and some contestants who ranked much higher and last much longer on the show than I feel they should have based on their skill level...but I won’t name names.

My picks: 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu, 李振宁 Li Zhenning, 周士原 Zhou Shiyuan, 连淮伟 Li Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 隔壁泰山 A组 Neighboring Tarzan group A This is a very unusal song, but it’s so catchy and memorable. 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu really made this performance for me. And this song still gets stuck in my head months later!

Iconic moments: 冯俊杰 Feng Junjie and 夏瀚宇 Xia Hanyu trying to outdo each other, 胡春杨 Hu Chunyang looked angry 24/7 for no reason, they literally got 蔡依林! Jolin Tsai! as a mentor, 李汶翰 Li Wenhan was everyone’s older brother, their performance made me fall in love with the song 耳朵 Erduo, they kinda did a steampunk concept which I love.

Verdict: It’s not necessarily a must-watch, but I still enjoyed it. If you’ve fallen into the black hole of survival shows and want more, I think it’s worth your time.

青春有你2 Youth with You 2

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: As iQiyi’s first time with female contestants, this season was highly anticipated. iQiyi stepped it up with subtitles, got Lisa from BLACKPINK as a mentor (I saw people say they came for Lisa and stayed for the trainees), and made a lot of content available on YouTube. As a result, some of the performances from this season have millions of views. It’s well deserved—a lot of the contestants are overflowing with talent and charisma. And honestly, you should watch this for 蔡徐坤. He’s a great MC/mentor to the girls and was truly a highlight of the season for me.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This is the only season that I watched week by week as it was airing. It was EXHAUSTING. iQiyi started pumping out two episodes a week, doubling the overall episode count. I was literally burnt out by the finale. So if you watch this, please take it slow. Also, I forgot how much they did that thing where they cut away from the performances to show other contestant/mentor reactions and then have to go rewind on the performance...it really drives me nuts. They overdid it for sure.

My picks: 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin, 喻言 Yu Yan, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan, 刘令姿 Liu Lingzi, 许馨文 Xu Xinwen

Favorite performance: 不奉陪 No Company This was a tough choice! I went with this performance because I actively sought it out for relistens. That’s so rare for 主题考核 theme evaluation songs for me. All the members got to shine yet they were a very cohesive team.

Iconic moments: Bad Guy was the ultimate dark horse, how no one knew the song 想见你想见你想见你 Miss You 3000, 王承渲 Wang Chengxuan defeated the evil quads, 乃万 Nineone basically replaced Jony J as rap mentor, seeing 刘雨昕 Liu Yuxin with a wig was terrifying, they let the girls wear shorts if they didn’t like skirts #feminism, I still think about 张钰 Zhang Yu and 王清 Wang Qing’s initial performance all the time.

Verdict: I don’t think I could rewatch this season due to its length, but if you can commit the time, I think you should watch it. I’m sad I’ll never get to see a second 青春有你 Youth with You female season.

青春有你3 Youth with You 3

Watch on iQiyi (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on iQiyi (no English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, missing several parts/episodes)

Why you should watch it: This season was probably the one I felt most emotionally invested in. I feel like I got to know the boys and was in it together with them (parasocial relationships, I know). And the friendships between contestants were so touching. Like 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, this season was also extra long, but I watched this season after it aired, going at my own pace. There were so many charming contestants and memorable performances. The dancing especially shone, but we got some great vocal moments too. I think iQiyi did a really good job picking songs this season.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Sadly, the finale never aired. Due to the infamous milk-wasting scandal, the show was cancelled (but a winning group still formed and debuted). Even though I knew this before watching the show, it was still quite sad to never see a conclusion. Additionally, I believe this show started with more like 120 contestants, and I felt that increased number. Lastly, there was some painful singing and lots of very uninspired rapping. I feel like the gap in skill between the contestants was larger, and some of the teams felt very unbalanced as a result.

My picks: 姜京佐 Jiang Jingzuo, 杨昊铭 Yang Haoming, 十七 Shiqi, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei, 张思源 Zhang Siyuan, 连淮伟 Lian Huaiwei

Favorite performance: 燕尾蝶 Wings of Love This performance was everything I could ever dream of. 徐子未 won the world over instantly. He has the voice of an angel. Love the song, love the concept, love everything about it.

Iconic moments: 罗一舟 Luo Yizhou and 余景天 Tony Yu Jingtians’s friendly rivalry, 徐子未 Xu Ziwei’s back-to-back victories, Yuta’s adorable accent, 王南钧 Wang Nanjun would not shut up about 竹 Bamboo, touch 梁森 Liang Sen’s head for good luck, 刘隽 Liu Jun dances like he’s possessed (in a good way), that 雨爱 Rainie Love stage was a trainwreck tbh.

Verdict: Despite the scandals and lack of a finale, it was worth the watch for me. I feel so fond thinking of this season. Truthfully, season three has surpassed season two for me.

>> 创造101 Produce 101/创造营 Chuang (Tencent)

I read somewhere that Tencent officially licensed the Produce 101 name from Mnet, making this franchise more “official.” For season two, they ended up changing the name to 创造营 Produce Camp. The Chinese name remained the same for seasons three and four, but the in English they started promoting the show under the name Chuang. I think they wanted to beat iQiyi in the contest to see who can have the most titles for the same show.

创造101 Produce 101 China

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, no VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch on YouTube (no English subs, episode 7 here, episode 10 here) Watch via Produce 101 China Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: This is the only season I’ve seen twice, so that says something I guess! This season holds a special place in my heart as my first survival show, so I rewatched it earlier this year with some friends who hadn’t seen it previously. One thing that stood out to me about this season was that it felt like there were several dark horses who started to shine closer to the middle/end of the show. I liked this because it’s boring when the debut lineup is completely predictable! And if you’re not already a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, you will leave as a 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi fan, guaranteed.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Not gonna lie, I was not a huge fan of this mentor team. I am fine with these people individually, but together it was not an ideal combo in my opinion. They collectively made some very odd decisions that I strongly disagree with. After my rewatch, I’m just kinda done with 黄子韬 Huang Zitao. I also realized there were a lot more instances of...rough singing than I remembered, so be warned.

My picks: 孟美岐 Meng Meiqi, Yamy, 刘人语 Liu Renyu, 许靖韵 Angela Xu Jingyun, 吴映香 Lucia Wu Yingxiang, 李紫婷 Mimi Li Ziting

Favorite performance: 别人家的小孩 Other People’s Kids This is one of the most iconic performances (and one of my favorites) ever from all of these shows! It’s so unique and really has everything you could want. It was truly a perfect collab performance.

Iconic moments: When they had to tap 杨超越 Yang Chaoyue so she wouldn’t miss the beat, 王一博 Wang Yibo’s blue hair was gorgeous, Triple A group reunion, Look What You Made Me Do with creepy marionettes was perfect, when 陈嘉桦 Ella went barefoot on stage, 黄子韬 Huang Zitao literally screamed at them all, I’ll never forget the iconic 乐华 Yuehua performance.

Verdict: Even the second time, this was a season filled with surprises. It’s not perfect, but I think it will manage to charm you anyway. There are some real hidden gems here.

创造营2019 Produce Camp 2019

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: This was the first ever male season I watched, and I remember being apprehensive. I ended up having a lot of fun! This season really tugged at my heartstrings with the touching friendships between the boys and the intense 导师推荐生 mentor recommendees segments. I felt like I went through the wringer with them as they were forced to repack all their belongings, endure the brutal F班 demotions, hike across the beach, and more. There were countless hilarious moments too. If I were to rewatch, it would be for 周震南 Zhou Zhennan AKA 南南 Nannan. He just dominates the stage (despite his short stature)!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: I’ll admit, this season probably has the greatest number of contestants that annoy me. Sometimes it’s for no good reason...I just look at them and go ugh. The first round especially has some pretty painful singing, so be warned of that as well. Also, my rewatch made me realize I remembered very few performances from this season, which probably isn’t a good sign. Also, a lot of the performances were very short, sub-three minutes, which personally bothers me.

My picks: 周震南 Zhou Zhennan, 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang, 姚琛 Yao Chen, 陆思恒 Lu Siheng, 李鑫一 Li Xinyi, 贺俊雄 He Junxiong

Favorite performance: 开门见山 Kaimenjianshan I’ll admit that this performance was not as good as I remembered it being (probably because now I’ve heard the original by A-Mei many times), but I picked it anyway to acknowledge the amazing 高嘉朗 Gao Jialang.

Iconic moments: 张颜齐 Zhang Yanqi giving away jars of 老干妈 Lao Gan Ma, we never saw 王晨艺 Wang Chenyi again, 姚琛来了~ (Yao Chen is coming), when 周震南 Zhou Zhennan had his hoodie on but his ears were sticking out omg, try saying 李昀锐 Li Yunrui's name ten times fast, they had 30+ year old men here, this was the OG 乘风破浪 chengfengpolang.

Verdict: Among so many seasons, I don’t think this season stands out that much, but I still remember it fondly. If you want a good laugh and some fun, check it out.

创造营2020 Chuang 2020

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on YouTube (English subs, missing episode 3) Watch on Viki (English subs, no Viki Pass needed)

Why you should watch it: They went all out on the sets, the location, the accommodations, everything. The performance setup was that the seats were in the middle and various stages were located around the perimeter. The seats would rotate to face the stages!! Some of the stages were stunning. I also want to mention that there were some great vocalists this season and I feel like they got to shine, which always makes me happy. The best round by far was the second round (专业方向). We got some beautiful vocal performances and intense dance performances.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: This season felt messy to me. I think they tried to mix things up, but not everything landed. The beautiful sets almost got distracting…they were more interesting than some of the performances. Several very talented and promising contestants never even made it past the first round. And since the final group only had seven people, the finale was just a frustrating experience. I never want to hear that 小摩托 xiao motuo song or 夏天的风 Summer Wind again. I don’t feel this season lived up to 创造101 Produce 101 China (unless you wanted MORE comments about weight/thinness).

My picks: 王柯 Wang Ke, 华承妍 Hua Chengyan, 刘些宁 Liu Xiening, 苏芮琪 Su Ruiqi, 朱主爱, Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai, 王一桥 Wang Yiqiao

Favorite performance: Manta There were a lot of performances I liked, but I really struggled to pick a favorite. I ultimately went with this because it’s one of the most memorable dance performances I’ve seen on these shows.

Iconic moments: That thin waist contest was simply the worst, they were in a literal castle, we all went crazy for the band and 王柯 Wang Ke, 朱主爱 Joyce Zhu Zhu’ai won the collab stage, wtf stop filming 姜贞羽 Jiang Zhenyu, I want to ride that cute train up the mountain, 毛不易 Mao Buyi did not want to talk, pretend that 吴亦凡 Wu Yifan wasn’t there.

Verdict: This season was competing against 青春有你2 Youth with You 2, and I chose to prioritize 青春有你2 Youth with You 2. I would make the same choice now. If you decide to watch, just be warned it may be a frustrating experience.

创造营2021 Chuang 2021

Watch on Tencent Video (English subs, VIP needed) Watch on 腾讯视频 (no English subs, VIP needed)

Why you should watch it: I wasn’t sure I was going to watch this season because of its international theme. Having foreigners is nothing new, but such a large number was certainly going to alter the show’s dynamic. Well, I watched it anyway. Overall, I’m glad I did. There were some talented and lovable contestants that made this season all worth it. The mentor squad (mostly 宁静 Ning Jing, 邓超 Deng Chao, and 周深 Zhou Shen) were so entertaining. Lastly, compared to the 2019 season, there were more popular vocalists this season, which I 100% support. I’ll be honest, I didn’t remember a lot of the performances from this season, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by how many great ones there were!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: It felt like there was so much focus on Nine and Patrick, Santa and Riki, the Intersection boys, and eventually Lelush as well. The other foreign contestants honestly had very little impact. This didn’t ruin the show or anything, but sometimes I got a little sick of the Santa and Mika show, you know? Also, none of my favorites made it into the winning group unfortunately. While I acknowledge the talent of the winning members, for whatever reason I wasn’t really that invested in most of them.

My picks: 俞更寅 Yu Gengying, 井�� Jing Long, 林墨 Lin Mo, 奥斯卡 Oscar, 张星特 Zhang Xingte

Favorite performance: Lover Boy 88 This performance was simply infectious! I even made my friends watch to it. 林墨 Lin Mo is so charming. And 张腾 Zhang Teng and 张星特 Zhang Xingte’s vocals were perfect. Just wish it had been longer!

Iconic moments: Mika and 曾涵江 Zeng Hanjiang = my last two brain cells trying to communicate, I still can’t believe Lelush went viral worldwide, 刘宇 Liu Yu broke the Produce curse, Nine and Patrick only learned Chinese for how long???, Caelan kinda does look like Leonardo DiCaprio, Oscar AKA 熊熊 Xiongxiong, the 网红 wanghong group was so talented actually.

Verdict: I think this season got more international attention than 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, and while I prefer 青春有你3 Youth with You 3, this season is worth a watch for its uniqueness and improvements over the previous year.

>> 以团之名 All For One/少年之名 We Are Young (Youku)

I watched both seasons of Youku’s shorter-lived franchise in 2022 only after (and only because) I had finished the other two franchises. I think Youku had a smaller budget and thus tried to stand out by shaking up the traditional survival show formula. I think they made some poor choices and some good choices. I don’t know the story behind the name change between seasons, but the seasons are so different from each other that it makes sense.

以团之名 All For One

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs)

Why you should watch it: I’m going to say a lot of negative stuff below, but I wanted to add at least a few positive words. During the finale, the remaining contestants sang S.H.E’s 你曾是少年 Wings Of My Words, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so emotional over a performance ever. 任家萱 Selina was a delight throughout. I also really grew to appreciate 奶茶 Naicha and what a great and thoughtful leader he was.

Why you shouldn’t watch it: As I mentioned, this show had some unique features that made it stand out. The contestants formed ten groups of eight, and the composition of the groups remained unchanged throughout. Entire groups got eliminated together. This created a dynamic where some really talented contestants went home too soon due to their group. It also meant that some groups were popular really just due to having one popular member. In the end, one group won...but I guess they realized this was a bad idea, so they formed a second winning group of the most popular contestants from the non-winning groups. I didn’t like this format and felt is really negatively impacted my viewing. Personally, seeing new team lineups form is one of my favorite parts of survival shows. And because the leaders were constant, they had there was too much focus on them. Also, the mentors were so harsh all the time. Maybe it was deserved, but it really bummed me out to watch them constantly talk about how disappointed they were.

My picks: 奶茶 Naicha, 田书臣 Tian Shuchen, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao, 赖煜哲 AJ Lai Yuzhe, 热亚提 Reyati, 赵品霖 Zhao Pinlin

Favorite performance: 饕餮 Taotie This was not one of the performances that stood out in my memory, but it stood out to me when I did my rewatch. I feel like they really nailed every element, and I don’t think the other teams could have pulled off this song.

Iconic moments: 何展成 Jonathan Ha gave up on speaking Chinese and 袁娅维 Tia Ray had to translate for him, the 王霏霏 Wang Feifei and 孟佳 Meng Jia reunion, 龙泓昊 Long Honghao’s beautiful dance to a Shawn Mendes song, I’m not sure why 奶茶 Naicha chose milk tea as stage name, AJ vs. the hidden snacks, they made 周艺轩 Zhou Yixuan perform a UNIQ song.

Verdict: Maybe you can skip this one. I definitely didn’t devote my full attention while I was watching it. And it felt like the show and the mentors were being mean to the boys all the time.

少年之名 We Are Young

Watch on Youku (no English subs, VIP needed) Watch on YouTube (no English subs) Watch via We Are Young Subs (English fansubs)

Why you should watch it: They improved on basically all the issues I had with the first season, and I was pleasantly surprised. Also, this is basically a 青春有你1 Youth with You 1 mini reunion with a few 偶像练习生 Idol Producer alums plus some future 青春有你3 You with You 3 contestants. It was so wonderful to see how the contestants I already knew had grown, and I loved seeing them get new opportunities to shine. There was surprisingly a lot of good raps/rappers on this show! Also, there were some truly incredible performances this season that aren’t like anything I’ve seen on other idol survival shows. And I enjoyed almost every performance—there were only a few that I disliked or thought were, um, not good. The mentors did not always agree...but I don’t care!

Why you shouldn’t watch it: Because they have to be different, when doing the initial evaluations, only about 50 contestants advanced to the next round. This was nice because it meant fewer names/faces, but wow, it felt so mean. Sometimes I wished they had stuck to a more traditional format. Besides that, I don’t have much else negative to say!

My picks: 郭震 Guo Zhen, 寇聪 Kuo Cong, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie, 李希侃 Li Xikan, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng, 杨超文 Yang Chaowen

Favorite performance: Don’t Start Now I don’t think I’ve ever seen this exact concept on one of these shows before. This performance was instantly a standout for me, especially because it had some of my favorite contestants!

Iconic moments: They literally had a corgi, 林 (Lin) MUA, everyone shipping 薛恩 Xue En and 程潇 Cheng Xiao, 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan in a CROP TOP, 胡彦斌 Hu Yanbin told 寇聪 Kou Cong to wear less to show off his body what, 崔少鹏 Cui Shaopeng’s entrance through the pink smoke, 左林杰 Zuo Linjie really bungee jumped with his eyes closed, how 郭震 Guo Zhen, 左叶 Zuo Ye, and 胡文煊 Hu Wenxuan were in the same group four times without anyone noticing.

Verdict: This season ended up being better than it had any right to be! I think it’s worth checking out, especially if you are missing the boys from the 偶像练习生 Idol Producer/青春有你 Youth with You series.

>> Conclusion

If you actually read this entire post, I’m thoroughly impressed. If you, like me, have spent way too much time watching these shows, feel free to send me a message because I need someone to commiserate with.

I honestly have this weird feeling that a chapter of my life is over. I have so many treasured memories from watching these shows—moments of laughter, tears, shock, pride, and more. They’ve provided a way to ground my language studies and engage with Chinese pop culture. They made me feel less alone during earlier COVID times.

Well, I’m off to find something to fill the survival show-size hole in my heart...maybe I’ll just rewatch 偶像练习生 Idol Producer.

192 notes · View notes