#but I don’t wanna scare people off

[sailorsally]

.

#since I talked in the tags a lil before #i also need to say that the political situation in Georgia has been a big pile of shit lately #that’s mostly why I don’t have the energy to engage with anything atm #everything is so hopeless #I just try to play video games these days to take my mind off stuff #but to explain it a bit #there is this one law the parliament already tried to pass last year but then didn’t because thousands came out to rally against it #the law is about ‘foreign agents’ and it’s directly copied from kremlin’s law in Russia #where the govt basically uses it to just cleanse the country from anyone they don’t like #So now this law is back and they have voted a yes two times #and will vote a yes third time #which is absolutely devastated news for anyone here #because if this law is instituted #basically say bye to foreign scholarships #to ngos financed from foreign countries that work to protect queer and trans peeps #rehabilitate refugees domestic violence victims etc #there will be no new roads in removed highland villages that rely mostly on international financial aid #no education opportunities for poor kids etc #this law literally equals death #and it will be heavily used to just cleanse Georgia of people who don’t think like Kremlin #and I am so fucking scared rn #There have been protests for 3 days #tens of thousands of people on the streets #but parliaments just keeps ignoring people #Or using police brutality against them #they are beating people up #jailing them for peaceful protests etc #it’s absolute nightmare #I’m just so tired of Russia #why won’t they die with everyone who supports them I wanna cry

[neixins]

the dripping from out of frame, the slow turn, the hard cut……horror writers WISH they had a shoujo mangaka’s skill to invoke pure unadulterated dread

[ID: panels from chapter 256 of “yona of the dawn”. in the first panel, zeno stands up; his neck and robes are heavily stained with blood, and some of it is splattered on his cheek; he says, “i tried all i could to die…”. in the next panel, the phonomime “drip” is written twice in the corner, indicating that it’s coming from somewhere out of frame but zeno has yet to react to it. in the following panel, the dripping continues and he turns towards it. in the next panel, which is taking up most of the page, he stares at the source of the sound in horror. the final panel shows the roof of the palace; the sky above it is dark and cloudy, with sunlight beginning to break through the clouds. end ID.]

#u wanna know what i think the sound is? :) (<- was right about zeno not being able to kill himself and now my ego is massive) #i think the other dragons got pushed out of the chalice along with zeno and now they’re badly injured and bleeding #(hence the dripping) #idk what could horrify zeno at this point except being faced with the realization that his plan backfired not against HIM #bc he’s tried to off himself before and it never worked. but against the people he cares about and wanted to save #(in a deeply fucked up way and without asking if they even want that but he did want to save them and not just himself) #obviously as the optimistic theories guy i think they’ll all be okay #like. the dragon gods’ protection clearly hasn’t completely perished from the mausoleum AND riri’s running around administering aid outside #i don’t think they’ll die. but i do think kusanagi will continue trying to scare us with the possibility #anyway. what was i talking about #oh right! horror sequences in shoujo manga always go so hard i love it #akayona

[dahldahlbills]

I really need to get serious about personal projects again

#I think I said something like this last year too lol #currently in a weird headspace about it #the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom #(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back) #so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom #and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason #it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully #I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff #but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me? #idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol #it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people #and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :( #and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom #which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do #im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air #so I really can’t afford to dawdle #there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have #but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself #I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️ #anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those ! #blahblahbills #delete later

[pogasm]

i think. i’ve interacted with so many older homophobic nigerians that if i don’t make friends with queer nigerians my age i may become xenophobic to my own people

#like they fucked me up so bad that i’m scared to talk to nigerians now like what #that’s crazy these are my people!! why am i more accepting to other black ppl and not the ones i share a culture and a country with!!! #like i’m nigerian i love being nigerian but ive been surrounded by nigerian boomers in diaspora #like i don’t know ANY nigerian my age!! that’s bad!! #well actually john is nigerian but he pissed me off so bad i don’t even wanna know him #john is the guy i went on a date with that pissed me off btw #also he was born here and i’m mourning the cultural connection so i wouldn’t even get that from him

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

I WISH I was more confident with giving ppl compliments irl like. I WANT you to know that ur that your hair color is epic or that I love your sweater or your freckles are beautiful or or o-

#IM SO SCARED THO #I don’t wanna come off as creepy bc like #they’re strangers they don’t know me #I just wish it was more socially acceptable to give strangers compliments #like if I were not socially awkward as hell I would just be complimenting everyone #I’m so serious when I say I think most people are pretty attractive in one way or another #be it their earrings or their nose or their platform boots or or you get the point #I just want ppl to know that they are soooo beautiful to meeee #obviously nobody’s self worth should hinge on whether or not ppl find them physically attractive #but so many ppl truly are and they just don’t realize it I’m so serious rn #idc if anyone calls it ‘my standards being low’ or something #try seeing the beauty in the common person and then maybe you’ll feel better/ref #sorry for rambling hopefully none of this comes across as weird or objectifying 😭😭

[dollsuguru]

awkward soft dad toji meets reader aka his new neighbor who then in turns becomes megumi & tsumiki’s babysitter… thinking thoughts about them both rn <3

#toji would be sooooooooo. awkward and shy and introverted and soft but also knows when to turn the charms up #i think he’d be enamored but also a bit scared to take it anywhere that isn’t physical #i have a feeling toji prefers physical intimacy over emotional intimacy #and a sad thought is coming but i think sometimes he just turns his brain off when he has sex w people (sometimes) #but then here comes reader… they think he’s obviously a hot DILF but don’t wanna make things awkward #methinks they’d have a cute love story… #put flirty shiu into the mix and toji is immediately thinking: Damn I Need To Kill My Handler 💯 #gonna make a fic like this soon mhmmmmmm #OMG. #WAIT. #WHAT IF I USE THIS PREMISE FOR ‘KINTSUGI’??? #AHHHHHHHHHH YEAH YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FINALLY I HAVE AN IDEA HEHEHEHEHEHEHE #personal

[riboism]

I’m seeing txt tomorrow 🥹

#I didn’t get tickets last year because the venues were so small #so now it’s MY TURN!!! #I’m kinda scared tho bc I cut off two people from my life this year (they fucking suck) and they are going to that concert too #and I don’t wanna see them and have them come up to me and ask me why I ghosted them #it’ll just ruin my mood #[🎙] v speaks

[abigail]

how do people know what they wanna do honestly ? like even if they don’t know for certain what they wanna do they’re like.. oh I like doing X so I’ll do that for now.. or it’s like oh I’m interested in Y so I’m gonna do that !! like.. how do you know what the X and the Y is.. ??? for real ????

I feel like.. idk. I’ve always changed my mind too quickly to pick something and then in school/when I was a teenager when they were like right ok what’s everyone gonna do I was just alarmed because damn. I didn’t think about that ? I guess ??? and then I saw everyone else had some vague idea of something they might want.. but I didn’t have any clue.. and then because I was a teenager with bad anxiety and shit I just began to overthink and overthink and overthink

and here I am at my big adult age still overthinking it and telling thousands of people on my little blog because I’m scared that I still don’t know what to do,, and I’m scared I’ll never ‘figure it out’ or whatever and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone else about this because they just don’t get it. but I know sooo so many people can relate like I know it’s not just me !!!! but I still can’t help but feel lonely with these feelings and it still eats away at me constantly.

#like seriously how do people think ‘oh I enjoy this I’m gonna do something about that’ because idk … I get scared I over think #wanna quit my job and DO something but god WHAT ?!?!!!!!!!!! #and I feel like I don’t have time to explore anything I wanna do because I’m constantly working but I can’t have less hours because #I can’t afford to work any less than what I do #and yes ok I have days off I have time after work but like.. #I’m so exchaused after work it feels so exhausting #my social battery will be dead and then I have the fucking laundry or whatever and I’ll just wanna rest #and I don’t have time to work on .. whatever . #ough ‼️‼️‼️ #sorry for rambling .. feeling sad about going home tomorrow I guess lol #a

[rosicheeks]

💖

#kinda just want to have a bunch of friends and cool people over #and have a lil party #and watch xoxo #and get super fucking high #fuck maybe even trip on shrooms #fuck me that sounds so SO fun right now #I have shrooms in the trunk of my car and they are officially a year old now and I’m so so so SO sad I never used them #I’m kinda scared to use them now? #but idk I still might sometime #it’s just I don’t want to trip alone #I don’t think that would be a good idea #especially since I don’t wanna trip at home with my parents #and definitely don’t wanna trip in my car #the sad part was I bought them for my last bday #I was going to trip with my boyfriend at the time (ex now) #and he actually FINALLY asked for the day off #but guess what #he got sick #and we couldn’t trip #so again I spent my bday alone #that time I don’t blame him cause I mean you don’t decide to get sick #it just sucks so so so so much #I guess the part I do blame him is he never planned another day #like I was like ‘oh it’s fine we can just trip and celebrate another day’ #and then it just never happened #and now I have a BUNCH of shrooms in the back of my car #and I always think about how much money I wasted 😭 #that’s the main reason why I haven’t thrown them out #I mean obviously I wanna see if they are still good #but also don’t wanna throw them out cause that’s literally just money in the trash

[southislandwren]

Yeah I was fucking right by the way, he’s liked me since like last year and I’ve liked him since October so I really could’ve done something about this sooner, and also he’s not homophobic or transphobic yayyyyy

#boy post #oh my god you guys it was so funny #so first off he’s watching Elden ring lore videos over the car stereo #and after like an hour of debating if I just go for it or not. I go ‘can I say something super out of pocket? you can say no’ #and he’s like yeah go ahead? so I said I think you’re cute. #and he paused his video and was quiet for a bit and was like ‘anything in particular to make you say that’ and I was kind of like oh fuck #but I was confident and was like oh just in general #and we both sat silently for a bit and he was like honestly. I’ve liked you for a while #and then yayyy we started talking about that etc and eventually I go ‘so what next?’ and he’s like well I don’t know #(I have dating experience he does not) #so I go ‘do you wanna date?’ and he says yes and I said ‘sick’ and fist bumped him #and then we drove for like 3 more hours just talking and like. getting personal #god I like him so much. he is so pure and good hearted and enthusiastic and smart and a hard worker #and he CARES about people like that’s huge for me. he just cares about people #and I was like this is potentially a dealbreaker. but I’m bi and dated a girl and a lot of my friends are GNC/trans #but he’s chill! and his family is chill!!!! #yeah idk man. everything turned out perfectly fucking fine and I have a boyfriend and he is so cool #and he’s FINE with me being left wing and bi and mentally ill etc etc like I was so worried I would scare him off #yeah idk. I am very happy

[gonzogender]

Man I don’t vague very often but that ai post is so fucking annoying the issue isn’t like fire bad hating technology it’s literally just plagiarism lol

#like am I scared of webpages now because I don’t wanna see clickbait everywhere?? #people wouldn’t have a problem if theft wasn’t ingrained in most of the programs #ppl have used ai in ways that don’t involve ripping ppl off acting like we’re mad at the technology is just weird idk #also kinda defeatist when nfts and crypto and shit got clowned into dust like we can just not give attention to this shit hello #I’m not about to start shit on a post tho #mine

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

#all you have to create is something about skinny white men in love and everyone will care about you and them #anything else is just nothing to you ppl lol #what’s the point of trying to be an artist I swear I just wanna give up coz I can’t create enough finished art in general #WHY CANT I DRAW LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID. it felt so easy and now I’m scared to do it for no reason ugh!! #i wish I was interested in the same things as everyone else coz at least then the quality wouldn’t matter and people would care anyway #sorry I know this comes across as really childish and mean and yeh it is I’m just venting #coz sometimes I look at certain popular profiles and stuff and it makes me ache coz I’ll never be a part of the big club where you can feel #love and I’ll never be able to coz I’m just a robot thing with no humanity!!! #even the LITERAL ROBOT is still reduced in the fandom to being shipped like just fuck off all of you #one of my bigger recent passion Roberts is a story and even when I have some motivation and energy I just remember that literally not a sing #single person on earth has any reason to care about it and why should they! so I just feel like crawling into a hole and sulking like a piss #pissbaby which is what I’m doing lol #just because it’s not about young skinny men and the ‘purity/beauty/divinity/superiority of romantic love </3’ and #and YUMMY SQUISHY ORGANIC RED PASSIONATE things because illl never be a part of all of that anyway #I’m not amazing I don’t have the inherent drama and meaningfulness of romantic love in me as a potential so I’m basically nothing #my life means nothing because i can’t feel the one thing that matters #-(one thing that matters according to the world and like all communities and societies and any place to feel like you’re a part of somethin #) #and if your broken (empty of romantic love) like me you’re told to go play by yourself in the corner and not complain that #everyone else gets to be in the group #‘just do your own thing it doesn’t matter what society thinks’ is well meaning and <3 but for me I just hear ‘don’t be a part of us’ #what if I want to be a part of something? what if I want society to know and understand me?

[three-moving]

i’ve seen people saying that they’re excited to see camila interacting with the boiling isles kids because she’s going to be such a great and supportive mom, and i absolutely agree that she’s going to be great, especially for those of them coming from less than stellar circumstances.

but... she’s also a single mom who’s been caring for a demon kid for months, scared sick not knowing how her own kid is doing, now being handed four more very traumatized kids. she’s doubtless gonna be stressed for a bit. she’s gone from having one kid to having a different kid to having six under one roof. that’s a big change. and it’s gonna take some getting used to.

all i’m saying is if things don’t start out fantastic, it’s entirely reasonable. camila is great, but she’s just one entirely human person. mistakes will likely be made. and that’s okay.

#toh #toh spoilers #camila noceda #the owl house spoilers #i have a lot of thoughts about how things are going to look just based on some of camila’s earlier motherly moments #i love this woman but she’s been through a lot too #and stress often makes you do and say shit you wouldn’t otherwise #i’m just saying making mistakes at first is reasonable and bound to happen #she’s gonna be worried she’s gonna be scared for them and she’s probably not gonna know what to do at first #it’s a weird situation! it’s a reasonable reaction! #i just don’t wanna see people shitting on her if things don’t go perfectly at first #i don’t wanna see people expecting her to be perfect right off the bat. that’s what this boils down to. #anyway i’m rambling sorry

[cerealmonster15]

man. i COULD try to rewrite some of the artfight character bios to make the more concise and less intimidatingly rambley but like. I ALREADY did that. Like a month or so ago. This WAS me trying to be brief im just Bad At It LOL. I just Added More in the end bc More Lore Showed Up after a year 🧍

#Yale…… bdbfbfbtbtbynyb #He’s my biggest offender LOL I managed to reel in a lot with the others… kind of 🧍 #Even with yale I was still trying to leave stuff out I just FAILED ✨ #My friend is gonna try and do like #Charts of info for each character like a template or something #Which is probably smart! I did not do that 🧍 #LOL I’m so bad with these things I’ve learned recently I’m very all or nothing 0 to 100 #Ranging from ‘here’s a funny cat man and a frat boy neon mermaid’ #To ‘here is yale and 600 paragraphs of his life story’ #SORRY all I know how to do is embarrass myself but it’s fine 🕺 #I don’t expect people to like. Read All That. But I typed it so I don’t wanna get rid of it #The bios and lore are just there for flavor #At least my friend I do stuff with yale with is doing it with me lol #Last year was mostly a chain between us she drew yale I drew juju #Over and over and over forever #I’m having a crisis over things that don’t matter #I’m just scared I’ll scare people off with my overwhelming Self LOL

[7vs8]

when i started screwing around with my gender identity and presentation, i had all these ideas about how people might feel or think or what they would say to or about me. i was especially afraid of other lgbtq people rejecting me.

but when i actually started changing my look and coming out, most of the stuff i was afraid of didn't happen. looking back, a lot of the things i felt were a big deal weren't really as big as it felt at the time.

idk how similar our situations are, but i guess my advice is that sometimes the thought of doing something is much scarier than actually doing it, and you might be surprised by the way that people react. also, cutting my hair was one of the best things i ever did

.

#txt #I wanted to respond in the tags cuz I don’t wanna annoy ppl with my long posts but #I have a huge issue convincing myself that I am content with the way I present in front of others #and I feel it’s why I haven’t experienced much because I am very scare what others would think #despite knowing I will be happy with these changes AND the right people will be happy with them too #but I am gonna start with cutting it off because I really need to and I know I’ll love it #thank you for the message <33

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#i know I’m sensitive…like I fucking know I have about 10 reasons I can site why too #i dunno why he had to do that #i thought I swept all of the stuff he does that annoys the shit out of me under the rug #but I’m just so fucking mad I wanna bite his emotionless head off #one time he was like ‘oh I wonder how you’d survive in our natural animalistic state that’s devoid of emotion’ #he’s so fucking stupid I wanna punch his head until it actually works #hes not even like abusive so I just look like a brat if I try to defend my feelings #but my sister does the same things kinda too #i dunno I’m just tired of everyone laughing at me and thinking I’m just a lazy fuck up who’s enjoying diwn time #i never actually get downtime cus I’m fighting sucide thoughts #i don’t wanna be an adult and deal with other adults I’m so overwhelmed #lmao this is why I need a mommy dom so I can be a kid forever and leave society behind #I’m not even suicidal rn i don’t think I’m just so fucking sad and scared and tired #I’m so sad I just wanna be a lil kid forever my heart can’t take all of this anymore #like I only get 400 a month and I gotta make that last for groceries and stuff and my sister + money = stress #when I’m with my dad I don’t have to stress about money we just figure it out #that sounds spoiled but trust me if you read my other vents you’d know that I’m not my old house/my dads house is utter shit #toilet/shower doesn’t work there that’s why I ended up at my sisters #but I feel like my mental health has taken a huge decline #being autistic around neruotypical people is painful #i need a hug but I’m not gonna get one #that’s another thing: my sister doesn’t really do hugs #yeah it was annoying that I had to be the one to initiate hugs with my dad but at least he did #my sister is just so weird #whatever she’s vaild yadda yadda it fucking hurts not getting hugged so I don’t really fucking care about her feelings #she barely ever cares for mine #i LOVE my sister #i cannot live with her