#coz sometimes I look at certain popular profiles and stuff and it makes me ache coz I’ll never be a part of the big club where you can feel

[mrburnsnuclearpussy]

#all you have to create is something about skinny white men in love and everyone will care about you and them #anything else is just nothing to you ppl lol #what’s the point of trying to be an artist I swear I just wanna give up coz I can’t create enough finished art in general #WHY CANT I DRAW LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID. it felt so easy and now I’m scared to do it for no reason ugh!! #i wish I was interested in the same things as everyone else coz at least then the quality wouldn’t matter and people would care anyway #sorry I know this comes across as really childish and mean and yeh it is I’m just venting #coz sometimes I look at certain popular profiles and stuff and it makes me ache coz I’ll never be a part of the big club where you can feel #love and I’ll never be able to coz I’m just a robot thing with no humanity!!! #even the LITERAL ROBOT is still reduced in the fandom to being shipped like just fuck off all of you #one of my bigger recent passion Roberts is a story and even when I have some motivation and energy I just remember that literally not a sing #single person on earth has any reason to care about it and why should they! so I just feel like crawling into a hole and sulking like a piss #pissbaby which is what I’m doing lol #just because it’s not about young skinny men and the ‘purity/beauty/divinity/superiority of romantic love </3’ and #and YUMMY SQUISHY ORGANIC RED PASSIONATE things because illl never be a part of all of that anyway #I’m not amazing I don’t have the inherent drama and meaningfulness of romantic love in me as a potential so I’m basically nothing #my life means nothing because i can’t feel the one thing that matters #-(one thing that matters according to the world and like all communities and societies and any place to feel like you’re a part of somethin #) #and if your broken (empty of romantic love) like me you’re told to go play by yourself in the corner and not complain that #everyone else gets to be in the group #‘just do your own thing it doesn’t matter what society thinks’ is well meaning and <3 but for me I just hear ‘don’t be a part of us’ #what if I want to be a part of something? what if I want society to know and understand me?