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prorevenge · 5 years

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Destroy me as a person, I'll destroy your entire existence.

I'm warning you in advance, this is going to be a long one. TL;DR at the end. Names of people and places have been changed for discretion. I don't expect you to believe it's true, everyone has the right of doubt. The revenge mainly goes towards my thankfully-no-longer-stepmom, but it comes with a side of fuck you to my Dad who at the time was an enabler.

This story is part of the reason I have borderline personality organization. For those who are not familiar with it, it's not a disorder. I can funtion on a much higher level than someone with a personality disorder, however not as highly as someone healthy. I'm putting this beforehand, because you need to understand that I wasn't always like this. The revenge is the result of my personality being slowly and painfully crushed, and getting a last kick out with it's last breath. That last breath of my dying personality wasn't in vain, I'm getting the much needed therapy and help, and I'm making amazing progress. Part of that progress is sharing this. I only shared this story with my therapist until now. Yeah also inb4 "why your real mom didn't help you", she left with another dude when I was just a baby and reconnected with me 2~ years after these events take place, but that's a story for another time.

Background:

You see, my dad is a little bit of a Narcissist (yeah, I know I'm saying at the start of the post that he was also enabling, which is true. He seemed to phase between them depending on situation), but at the same time he is a really intelligent and smart guy, and the combination of these traits was really conflicting. He raised me the "Dad is always right" way, while at the same time he always told me to stand up for myself and never give up. You see, he raised me to be an adult since I was a little child. He taught me everything I know, even the things I needed and used for this revenge.

When I was around 9, we moved to a set of islands in a hispanic country, let's call them Palm Islands. We moved here because my Dad hated our country and wanted to flee. This is important to the story, because he didn't want to move back at all costs. So the island we were staying on at the time is island A. Island A was nice, I quickly learned Spanish and fit in pretty well with the other kids. There were at least 50~ nationalities in our school, so being a foreigner wasn't an issue. My Dad was single, so he was pretty active on dating sites. On these dating sites, he met Lilith (I found this name fitting, look up it's history if you are interested in a demon from the Hebrew mytholgy that kills babies). Lilith was a true Narcissists, in all the aspects you can imagine. She was a teacher, but never had kids of her own even though she wanted. She was from island B. The funny thing is that she catfished my Dad. It was a nice surprise when he went to pick her up to the airport, and was greeted by around 110kg more than he was expecting. Anyways, they got together, and everything seemed fine at the beginning. That's when the big 2008 crisis hit, and it hit really hard in hispanic countries. My Dad was let go at his job and was unemployed. Lilith offered for us to move in with her on island B. My Dad accepted without hesitation, because he didn't want to go back to our country. So this is where the issues start. The first problem was, when we moved to island B, we moved to a really rural and small, xenophobic little shithole of a town. They absolutely hated ANYONE that was not form a latin origin. Well, guess who was the ONLY non-latin foreigner (apart from my dad who didn't move out of the house, as he was unemployed for 2 more years). If you guessed me, you guessed right. It was hell. I didn't even get the chance to fit in. I was bullied all the time. Not just by students, teachers did it and even fucking encouraged it. I was beaten on my way home every week or so by 3 or 4 students, and I remember a time when I was lying on the floor, getting kicked by fuck knows how many kids, when I noticed one of the teachers passing, shrugging, and moving on. There was "go back to your country fucking nationality" graffitied in the town's playground. In the 3 years I lived there, there were several graffity removals, however, this one never got off... As this wasn't bad enough, here comes the fun part. Lilith. Now you are wondering why I named her after a demon that kills babies. Let me answer that for you. If the bullying from school wasn't enough on it's own, Lilith made sure I hated my life. She couldn't stand that my Dad loved me more than her, so she made really fucking sure of it. And why my Dad didn't intervene? Remember I said he didn't want to move back to our country at all costs? The cost of seeing my life destroyed was one he was willing to pay. So he just sat and watched as I suffered. You see, Lilith would always ground me for anything. Lilith would give me really specific instructions for really specific tasks, that were impossible to follow. When I obviously failed, I got grounded. Grounding me meant locking me up in my room with all forms of enjoyment taken a away. All forms of enjoyment for me, meant books. I got my books taken away. All I could do was look on an empty wall and swell in my suffering. Lilith would hold me in constant psychological terror. I was always berated, insluted and talked down on. I heard daily, that my worth is the equivalent to piece of turd, that I am even worth less than that. That nobody loves me and no one ever will. That all that I'm getting is because I deserve it. That I am a waste of space, a piece of human garbage. All the things you can possibly imagine that you don't want a kid to be told. And one last thing to add to the list, starvation. You see, she starved me, even though it wasn't starving in that little piece of garbage that she calls brain. I can't eat crude tomatoes. Not I don't like it and I don't want to eat it, I literally can't. As soon as I feel crude tomato flavor in my mouth, I start to puke. I can't control it. She decided that she will cure this by only feeding me tomatoes for 3 days. Guess how that worked out.. And my Dad? Just looked the other way. I was 14 at the time, and I tried to kill myself 3 times. If any would have been successful, I wouldn't be here telling the story, so hold on to your seats.

This seemingly endless nightmare got a bit better when my Dad got a job at island A and we could move back on our own. But I wasn't the same anymore. I was having serious depression, anxiety, panic attacks. I started smoking and drinking. I couldn't fit in again. I knew that if I wanted to get my life together, I would need to move back to my home country. But you see, being underage, I couldn't do it and my Dad didn't want to move back. Even though we moved back to island A, we still was relying pretty heavily on Lilith financially, so I knew if they broke up, we wouldn't have other choice than to move back.

Just a quick recap about Lilith: a sour lady in her late 40's who is morbidly obese while being really short, around 150~cm, is a teacher but never had kids of her own even though she wanted, was unhappy with her life in general, and being the true Narcissists she is, she blamed everything on the world. She hadn't dumped my dad because she is well aware of her physical traits and knew that if they broke up, she would most likely end up alone. This is where I wanted to hit.

So as I knew some psychology, knowing her personality traits, I somehow suspected that she will try to compensate for the above mentioned with cheating. But cheating is hard when you are a fat and ugly motherfucker, so my next guess were sex-chats. Boy, was I right. I simply installed a keylogger on her computer, and after 2 weeks I had a plethora of sex-chat logs to show my Dad. However, this didn't go as I expected. Instead of breaking up, my Dad got in a position of power after confronting Lilith about it. This was a serious miscalculation on my part, as I should have expected that my Dad won't break up because he doesn't want to move back, but rather use this in his 'games'.

I knew I had to go all out on this one if I wanted to break them up. So I hatched my master plan.

But I wasn't just going to make them brake up. Even after all the things that the place and her have done to me, I had a little fight in me yet, which at the start I referred to as the last breath of my dying personality.

I was out for destroying Lilith's entire life in the process and make my Dad do what he didn't want to while seeing me suffer.

The setup:

Remember when I said my Dad was active on dating sites? Well, he was really active again once we got back to island A. He was relentlessly cheating on Lilith.

First things first, I bought an extra SIM card for my phone. I needed a new phone number for a new WhatsApp account. You see, I knew that if my Dad deemed a lady from a dating site worthy of a fuck, he would ask for a phone number so they don't lose contact. As I couldn't imitate a woman's voice, I opted for leading him on over WhatsApp. Next I set up a dating profile on one of the sites I knew my dad was actively searching on, and I made his idea of a perfect woman, in every aspect, come to life. I spent days fabricating every aspect of her personality and life. This character was named Paula. Paula was a tall, blonde, thin, beautiful, intelligent and nice lady, who worked on island B as a make-up artist for the local news. She grew up in a family with 4 brothers (which I added because I wanted to have a quick and easy excuse if my Dad noticed any male-ish mannerism while speaking to him as her), loved sports, philosophy, and psychology (remember when I said my Dad taught me everything I needed for this revenge?) The pics I used for Paula were from a mostly unknown 30-ish South American actress from a really bad and unknown latin soap-opera (I don't know if it's the correct term in English as well). So I had really nice make-up photos worthy of a local news make-up artist, while having more normal and everyday pics as well. The little twist is Paula is the EXACT OPPOSITE of Lilith in every possible way. It was perfect. One more important thing to note is that my Dad was hooked on a sport that we'll call Squannis. It's a mixture between Squash and Tennis, hence the name, really popular in latin countries at the time. There were familiar Squannis tournaments with Lilith's family, who were really involved in Squannis as well. Also I hope I don't have to explain how extensive a hispanic family is. Important to note that we were the only foreigners in the family. With this information at hand and my WhatsApp and dating profile setup as well, I was more than ready to unleash hell upon those who wronged me.

The execution:

I started surfing the dating site. As with dating sites in general, you can't search for a person in specific, so I had to go over 200~ish profiles to finally find my Dad and mark that I'm interested in him. That same night, we get matched, and we start chatting. He is loving Paula. Every single bit of her. While chatting, I steer the conversation to make him say things like "even if I had someone I would break up with her in an instant to be with a Goddess like you", "you are my perfect ideal in every way", "where have you been all my life", these sorts of things. The sorts of things I know would get through Lilith's narcissistic wall of protection, and hit her in the very core. My dad was making comments on how she just met the perfect woman in a dating site. He spent basically an hour worshipping why she is perfect for him in every way. Guys, it was the hardest thing to not grin like I just hit the fucking jackpot. He was hooked, like a heroin addict. Next day, all day speaking about Paula. Then comes the third day. He asks for a mobile number, he wants to hear Paula's surely angelic voice. I was prepared. The conversation went something like this:

Dad: I'm having a really nice time talking with you, and I'm really afraid that you might just dissapear - as happened with others - so what if we exchange numbers?

Paula: I'm having a really nice time as well with you, but sadly I've been catfished a lot, and I'm really cautious when it comes to strangers on the internet...:( But anyways, as I'm really liking you, I'll make a kind of exception. Give me your phone number, we'll communicate on WhatsApp, so we don't lose contact, but promise me that you will not call me until I say that I'm feeling ready!

Dad: I can totally understand that, and I respect it. So let's do it your way. :)

When I pressed enter on the catfish message to send, I felt like I was pressing the button that dropped the nuke on Hiroshima. I was feeling the justice enter my pleasure receptors slowly, bit by bit. It was the best thing I had felt every since Lilith entered my life.

This goes on in WhatsApp, I'm taking a screenshot of everything that I think will hurt Lilith. After a week of talking I have everything that I want to send her. But I needed to make it believable, otherwise it will be an obvious catfishing, and I'm sure my Dad eventually would have traced it back to me. However, I had a plan for this as well. Remember when I said my Dad plays Squannis and Paula loves sports but lives in island B, where Lilith and faimily are located? You better do, because this is where it becomes important. Naturally, as any girl who is interested in a guy, will try out his interests. In this case Squannis. So Paula, after my Dad told him about Squannis, decided to get a lesson from a friend of hers, so when she meets with my Dad, they'll be able to play together. But would you know, on a little fucking hispanic island with extended family all over it, this friend happened to be related to Lilith's family. And would you know, Paula was telling him about this new guy she met on a dating site, who is from XX country and that's why she's taking lessons. After more chit-chat, the friend realizes that this guys is indeed my Dad, and proceeds to tell Paula that he has been in a relationship with Lilith for a few years now. So Paula confronts my Dad about this, who is in complete shock and panic mode. My absolute favourite thing was telling him the lines "I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, YOU ARE THE SAME CHEATING PIG AS ALL OTHER MEN". After getting the last kicks in I blocked my Dad from every possible way of communication on all of Paula's accounts.

But here comes the sweet part. Lilith. My dear, dear Lilith. I tell her the same story about Squannis that I told my dad, then proceed to send her every screenshot, every piece of conversation that I knew would hurt her. Every sentence where my Dad describes the perfect ideal of a woman, and it's exactly the opposite of her. Every message where my Dad says things to Paula that Lilith always wanted to hear but never got. Sweet fucking Jesus, it felt good.

The aftermath:

After being in a position of power, and being the saint that never cheated in the relationship, my Dad got confronted by Lilith. By confronted I mean traveling to us on island A, knocking hysterically on the door at 2am, while I can't make out anything of what she says because of the fucking tsunami machine that her face has become. Oh, and the screeching. It was like a group of younglings racing on who could scratch the blackboard harder to make to most unpleasant sound. I'm loving every tear, and every moment of it. She is truly suffering. I destroyed the very pillars that held up her personality. I went into a porcelain shop with a fucking sledgehammer. They break up. Lilith is throwing punches. Police is called. In a fit of rage Lilith makes the mistake of hitting one of the officers. I've never seen 180~kg slammed into the ground with such grace. It was truly glorious. As police is escorting her out, I'm looking her dead in the eye. I can see into her soul, and I can see that the person she was is destroyed. As I'm looking her dead in the eye, I'm having the most shit eating grin a human can possibly enforce on it's face. Ultimately, we moved back to our home country.

Oh, and guess who has lost her teaching licence? If you guessed, Lilith, you guessed right. Turns out after this incident she had to go under a really strict psychological examination, which was a long time coming imo, where they determined she is unfit for teaching. Big fucking surprise.

TL;DR: Dad moves away from country and dates maniac, lets maniac viciously abuse son so Dad doesn't have to move back. Son reveals Dad is cheating, crushing Maniacs soul and indirectly causes Maniac to lose job and livelihood, and forces Dad to move back.

(source) (story by shiny-poopstorm)

#prorevenge #by shiny-poopstorm #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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the-reborn-galaxy484 · 5 years

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A Lesson For Therapists

,Okay so...some of y’all might’ve noticed our reblogs, lack of personal posts, & essential silence for a bit now.

We’ve been in a state of system-wide distress, anxiety, depression, & severe lack of sleep.

We now work night shifts at Taco Bell (could be anywhere from 6pm to 9pm through 12am to 6am depending on what they need) so we don’t sleep much if at all on the weekends. We can’t comment on corporate secrets or explain why corporate decides to change the menu (though some is to simplify it so that our service workers have less to learn & lower stress) because that’s illegal, but we will acknowledge they hired us & don’t know we have multiple personalities (they think we’re an ADHD, constantly smiling 19yo because they met Nico on a good day when the interview fell in mid-August).

On top of that, we are taking a level 356 history class. For those of you who don’t know, level 100 classes are typical freshman (year 1) level classes & level 200 is sophomore (year 2) and so on. We are a sophomore, and most of us are kids. Around that class is public speaking (anxiety for our socially anxious kiddos), Digital Technology & Culture/DTC 201 (we took level 100s last year) & Spanish (Nico & Matías love that class because it’s easy & it helps the rest of us understand them). Our DTC teacher automatically assumed when Nico slipped we’re multiple that we’re dangerous & reported us to the DTC department lead, who contacted the Vice Chancellor of the school and caused a TON of excess stress.

Nico, Val, Markus, Jason sometimes, & now Davide have all been cutting. Nico age slides between 5 and 17 years old, and the older he is the more suicidal he is. Our depression just keeps getting worse.

We’ve had around 20 new splits in the past 3 weeks, & also had around 10 people come back out of the subconscious. Kaden is among them; he’s posted a couple times, just reblogs. For reference, typically splits happen maybe once every few years but we’ve already had about 25 in the past year.

We finally overcame severe anxiety and guilt about the concept and started therapy a couple weeks ago, when school began.

There is only one therapist we trust enough system-wide to talk to. She’s been fantastic & has ideas to lower our anxiety & help us better cope with emotions.

However.

Here’s a shoutout to any therapists, medical professionals, or education professionals.

In today’s session she got us to laugh, which is a strange feeling. But after that, she also brought up that she wanted to lower the number of dissociations, with the eventual plan of integrating us once she gets the anxiety lower. She also said “there aren’t really seventy-three people walking around in your head, it’s just various levels of dissociation.”

We’re going to address both things, because of the severe anxiety it caused us...

We just sort of laughed awkwardly & mentioned we have severe anxiety & would be unable to function. We do NOT want to integrate. We are a system, a team, a family. We are our own friends.

We don’t want to merge into one quote-unquote “whole” person. We will never be normal anyway, people will still think we’re strange. This is one of the reasons we didn’t want to go to therapy; they think they’re helping you when they integrate you, but all that would do is cause us crippling anxiety.

Nico has Social Anxiety Disorder, Davide has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Jack has Panic Disorder, most of us have PTSD or Complex PTSD, and even we don’t know the others since we only have access to 42 of the 73 personalities in our mind.

We don’t want to integrate.

That was the only thing she’s said that’s shut us down.

Our mother told Nico (about one of our friends, whose personality Cassandra/Esther has adopted Nico as her child & genuinely loves him) “he does realize they’re not real, right? They’re just figments of a broken child’s imagination. They help in the short term but they can always go away.”

That mention caused Nico to spiral in anxiety, because he is an alter. To him, that means he’s not real and thus nothing he says or does matters. It’s what made him start cutting.

That same concept was brought up in today’s session with integration & “there aren’t really” those people in our mind.

Yes, we are various dissociations in originally Alec’s (now Jason’s) mind. We are fragmented for a reason. We never learned how to be a person, how to empathize, how to interact the “right” way.

However.

Leave our mind alone.

Have you ever considered maybe we want to be multiple?

Maybe it helps us more than just in the short term.

Maybe it makes us feel less alone,

More whole,

Less insignificant.

Have you ever thought about that?

No,

Because you believe you job is to cure a broken child’s imagination,

Give them tools to survive in a world that will only break them again,

And dust your hands off of their trauma.

But at the end of the day...

Does that really help?

No,

No it does not.

We will continue to break,

To split all over again,

Because we help each other cope.

We can’t do this alone.

Leave our mind alone.

~The Vedette System

#DID #dissociative identity disorder #multiple personalities #multiple personality disorder #disorders #mental health #mental health awarenes #therapy #broken #mental health support

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Destroy me as a person, I'll destroy your entire existence.

Background:

I knew I had to go all out on this one if I wanted to break them up. So I hatched my master plan.

I was out for destroying Lilith's entire life in the process and make my Dad do what he didn't want to while seeing me suffer.

The Setup:

Remember when I said my Dad was active on dating sites? Well, he was really active again once we got back to island A. He was relentlessly cheating on Lilith.

The Execution:

Dad: I'm having a really nice time talking with you, and I'm really afraid that you might just dissapear - as happened with others - so what if we exchange numbers?

Dad: I can totally understand that, and I respect it. So let's do it your way. :)

The Aftermath:

Oh, and guess who has lost her teaching license? If you guessed, Lilith, you guessed right. Turns out after this incident she had to go under a really strict psychological examination, which was a long time coming imo, where they determined she is unfit for teaching. Big fucking surprise.

TLDR; Dad moves away from country and dates maniac, lets maniac viciously abuse son so Dad doesn't have to move back. Son reveals Dad is cheating, crushing Maniacs soul and indirectly causes Maniac to lose job and livelihood, and forces Dad to move back. (source) (story by shiny-poopstorm)

#prorevenge #by shiny-poopstorm #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story

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