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seeingivy · 8 months

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Heyy Ronnie! It's my birthday today. I was wondering if you could do a reader x gojo fic where reader is kinda sad on her bday? Like people are showing her love but due to bad previous bdays she feels low sometimes during the day? And she feels like she isn't worthy of the love she's getting now after these years (from friends and parents)? Ofc satoru is by her side telling her good things hehe🥹

birthday pick me up

satoru x f!reader

content: good ol birthday fluff, dad gojo w megs + tsumiki, no evil suguru bc idagf this my fake world we are all happy in it

an: MY BELOVED BABIE!!! I SPEED RAN THIS SO I COULD MAKE SURE IT GOT TO YOU ON YOUR BIRTHDAY. as a fellow emo birthday sharer (the stories in this fic are literally taken from my own birthdays that were horrible lol), i hope you find a way to make this day wonderful. spoiler non spoiler for the fic, another year you fight on is always something to celebrate!!! I wish a wonderful year of happiness and love ahead for you sweetie pie, I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful day <3

as you write up the mission report, your fingers splayed right against your temples trying to soothe the tension, the root cause of all problems in your life - your very ridiculous boyfriend - sets something down on your desk.

you look up to find a very cheeky grin on his face, teetering on that fine line that he toes between bothersome and endearing as he waits for your response.

“satoru.”

“yes, my love?”

“why did you just give me a muffin with wax on it?”

he frowns, his upper lip jutting out into a soft pout.

“it’s a cupcake, baby.”

“where’s the frosting, master chef?”

he yanks his blindfold down, a guilty smile pressed on his face.

“in my stomach. you just took so long on your mission and i got so hungry that i just ate some. just a teeny tiny bite.”

you lift the sad excuse of a cupcake into the air between you two, glaring at him with your eyes narrowed. he gives you a sheepish smile in response, as he leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead in apology.

“what’s with the wax in the middle?”

“that’s a candle.”

“why is there a candle in my non-cupcake?”

“it’s august first, sweet thing! it’s the start of y/n month!” he responds, so matter of factly like it’s the simplest thing in the world.

you now realize what’s happening. and you’re going to stop it in your tracks.

back in december, you surprised satoru and megumi - deeming the entire month of december their month and giving them little surprises and gifts for the entire thirty one days. it was more for megumi than satoru at first.

“megs.”

“yes, y/n?”

“what flavor birthday cake do you want, kid? we’ll order it soon so it’s all nice and ready to be picked up on friday, okay?”

you turn around to find him sitting there with a blank face. you walk up to his side, leaning over so your eyes can be level with his.

“are you one of those kids who hates cake? we can do ice cream, muffins, even vegetables if that’s what tickles your fancy. whatever you want, okay?”

and when he mutters out those six words, it stops you in your tracks all together.

“i’ve never had birthday cake before. i don’t know which one i like.”

after he admitted that to you, you made sure that you and satoru went the entire six miles for him, so that he’d love his birthday, so he could feel special. because of course that asshole toji never did it for him.

you ordered every flavor of cake so he could pick a favorite (vanilla won) and got piles and piles of gifts with the gojo clan money. and since satoru is satoru, you had to make sure he had his fair share of celebration that month too since they were both born in december.

you never expected them to do it back. and you didn’t want him to either. and it’s not that you don’t appreciate it or don’t love him for wanting to go the extra mile for you because you do, it’s just that…

you hate birthdays.

after a string of misfortunes year after year, of counting down the days just to be kicked down, has turned you off from the holiday all together.

after inviting everyone to your fifteenth birthday at the bowling alley, just to have no one show up. to sit there in embarrassment, convincing your parents for hours on end that people will show up, that they’ll eat the cake your mom spent hours making just to take the entire thing home and get an embarrassing reminder every time you opened the fridge.

or your nineteenth birthday. when your parents had an important graduation party to go to and your siblings were out of town, when you spent the entire day wallowing in your room, your phone absent of notifications. because no one remembered and those who did didn’t care enough to stay.

year after year, a cruel reminder that a day that’s supposed to be special, that’s supposed to be about you, is anything but.

you can make sure that megumi, tsumiki, and satoru don’t feel the same. that their special days aren’t tainted. but yours is already far beyond repair and you’d like to keep it where it is. deep in your mind, where no one can touch it.

“satoru. can we not do y/n month? i-i don’t want to celebrate my birthday.”

satoru, for all intents and purposes, looks like a kicked dog.

“what do you mean? you love birthdays!”

“i love your birthday, ‘toru. and miki and megs too but i don’t want all that for mine. it’s- let’s just pretend its a normal day. i’ll go to work, we’ll eat dinner, and then you can be nice to me and i can get some at the end of the night, if you know what i mean.” you say, giving him a cheeky grin.

he brings his hands up to your cheeks, cupping your face in his hands.

“but it’s your birthday, silly. i’ll let you get some, obviously, but we have to do more than that.” he responds, frowning.

you lean into his touch, his hands moving to snake around your waist as you sigh into his chest.

“toru. the best present you can give me is if we do nothing. i-i don’t like to think about my birthday because it makes me sad and i just want to have a normal day with the three of you. i-i don’t expect you to understand but can you just do that for me? is that okay?” you ask, looking up at his sparkly blue eyes, in the few moments they’re free from his blindfold.

he leans forward, to press the softest kiss to your lips, before pulling back.

“okay. no birthday.”

you should have known better that satoru gojo does not take no for an answer.

you wake up in the morning to two very smiley faces and one teeny tiny smile staring at you. satoru, tsumiki, and megumi are all wearing matching purple birthday hats, surrounded in a plethora of streamers in your bedroom. the second you flicker your eyes open, they all pop confetti into the air, the sound catching you off guard.

“oh my-”

“happy birthday, my love!” satoru responds, excitedly leaning over to kiss you. he leans too hard because then he’s knocked you over, the two of you tangled up in the sheets and the confetti falling on your bed.

you sit up as megumi and tsumki climb onto the bed with you, tsumki pressing a wet kiss to your cheek while megumi tucks himself into your arm to give you a hug.

“how did you even do this while i was still in the room?”

satoru props himself up to pull one of the matching party hats onto your head and press a kiss to your forehead as he explains.

“you sleep like the walking dead, babe. we literally popped the confetti once before and it didn’t even wake you up.”

you take in the room in earnest this time, the three of them intently watching you. there are sparkly gold streamers hanging from the wall, a little handmade sign that has tsumiki and megumi written all over it taped to the wall, and a sweet little tray of your favorite breakfast on the side.

you turn to your left to find satoru looking at you, that stupid, stupid lovestruck grin on his face as he stares you down.

“you like it, babe?”

“satoru, you didn’t have to, i just-”

he clamps his hand over your mouth, feigning his best serious look.

“i held off for the other twenty four days of august babe. i had so much planned and i threw it all out for you. but you’re going to let me have this one day and do everything i say because it’s your birthday.”

“shouldn’t you listen to me because i’m the birthday girl?”

“i only accept that rule when the birthday girl isn’t being stupid.”

“hey, you just-”

“did you like it, y/n?”

you place one of your hands in megumi’s hair, who's still tucked into your side, as you crush satoru’s hand in your other hand.

“it really is sweet. thank you. i’ve never had anyone do something like this for me before.”

satoru gives you a satisfied smile as he leans forward, pressing another kiss to your face.

“get used to it. you’ve got like fifty more birthdays with me.” he responds, hopping off the bed as he sets the tray in front of you.

satoru wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to go all out. because after breakfast, he takes the three of you out on the town, to go bowling. which is something you were originally against, because in all honestly, you haven’t returned to an alley since your fifteenth birthday.

but he drags you in by the wrist and you have so much fun that you forget about the entire thing. satoru’s cheater ass runs down the alley when his ball went into the gutter, tsumiki spends the entire time looking for a pink bowling ball and can’t find one, and megumi gets way too excited about the all you can eat nachos that he accidentally ate too many and almost threw up.

the entire thing is so silly and so genuinely fun that you don’t think about sitting in the alley alone as a kid even once. you’re laughing too hard to even remember.

and when you get home, your entire apartment is decked out this time and all your friends are jumping out at you the second you walk in, pressing warm kisses to your cheek and wishing you a happy birthday.

of course he did a surprise party. satoru rents out a karaoke machine, makes them all play a game about who knew you best (nanami won, satoru was pissed), made you open gifts, and brought you a real cake with frosting and candles on it.

and the entire thing makes you so happy, you could cry.

you stand by the half eaten cake as everyone winds down in the foyer, stuck in their own conversations. and the entire day, the entire ordeal that satoru went to plan this makes your heart squelch as you watch it in front of you.

but there’s some part of you. thirteen, fifteen, nineteen year old you that still sits in your head. that remembers that pitiful feeling of being alone on your birthday and convinces you that this is a one time thing.

that it’s the exception, not the rule. that your birthday is nothing to celebrate, still.

you feel a hand snake around your waist and a pair of lips on your neck as satoru wraps himself around you, his voice warm on your neck.

“did you enjoy today, birthday girl?”

“yeah. I love you, ‘toru. thank you.”

you lean to the side to press a kiss to his cheek, before you focus back in on megumi and nanami’s very intense chess game that’s going on.

“princess.”

“hm?”

“i know you. tell me what’s going on in that head. you wanted chocolate instead of red velvet, didn’t you?”

“well, when you put it like that-”

“red velvet and chocolate are the same. it’s just dyed a different color!”

you laugh as you turn around in his arms, knotting your knuckles together around his neck.

“no, satoru. you made it perfect and i loved every second.”

“then?”

“it’s just weird, love. i’m not sure how to explain.”

satoru leans down to put his hands around your waist and lift you up onto the counter. you’re both level height now, your face a few inches from him as you try your best to explain the block in your chest.

“i love that you did this for me, please don’t think i didn’t. but some part of me can’t help but feel less than right now.” you whisper, his eyes washing over in concern.

“less than what?”

“i just mean- this is the first time someone has done this for me and i-” you respond, your voice cracking as those hot tears fall out of your eyes.

he brings his hand up to your cheek, his touch warm.

“sweetheart. you know you deserve this right? big fancy birthday parties? breakfast in bed and handmade decorations and birthday cards?”

you can feel the tears pouring out of your eyes even harder at his words, his voice so soft that it makes every untouched wound in your mind hurt.

“i-i know everyone deserves it logically but it’s just been so many years and no-no one ever wanted to do it for me that i just-no one even cared and i still feel like they don’t-”

satoru brings his hands around your waist as he leans the majority of his frame into yours, his mouth hovering right by your ear. he’s whispering soft words into your ear as he tells you to calm down, his hands rubbing small circles into your back.

“y/n. your birthday is very special to me.”

you bring your hands up to your eyes as you wipe your tears away, pouting at him through the redness on your face.

“why’s that?”

“everyday, i’m grateful you were born. that you’re in my life, that you’re with me, that you’re in this world.”

he brings your knuckles up to his mouth as he presses a soft kiss, a beaming, warm smile on his face.

“the day you were born should always be celebrated. with this intensity, if not more. it’s another day that you, another year that you’re on this earth here with me. with us, living and breathing.”

he presses a kiss to your cheek before whispering the final words in your ear, that shatter your resolve completely.

“what is there not to celebrate, sweetheart? it’s just another year i got to spend with you. another year i get to watch you push on past what bothers you, to stay soft when everything around you is hard. another year you keep fighting. that is always, always something to celebrate.”

you wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you into his hug, the hold so tight that you can physically feel the pressure in your chest. you must have stirred up some commotion with your crying because they’re all standing at your side now, irritated looks on all of their faces.

“you made her cry, asshole.” shoko says, rolling her eyes at him.

“you give us a whole lecture about how this day needs to be treated like a national holiday and then your dumbass made her cry?” suguru says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

you pull away from your hug, laughing at their insistence as satoru starts defending himself, and you can’t help but feel it.

excited for your birthday next year.

because you know satoru and you know he’s already planning out the ten miles for y/n month for the next year.

taglist: @porridgesblog @k0z3me @kayleegomez @yihona-san06 @bsenpai @sweetenertea @skzismyhome @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters @luna0713hunter @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @squirrelspoetry

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donnerpartyofone · 9 months

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I saw this post a few weeks ago that was like a chart from a psychology text that described how different sorts of childhood trauma can produce different dysfunctions, one of which was (I *think*) Emotional Neglect -> Magical Thinking. I was so intrigued by that. Magical thinking is sort of an umbrella term for the belief in a causal relationship between two unrelated factors; it can include wishing on a birthday cake candle; the feeling that The Universe is telling you to call your ex because something reminded you of them; OCD-type rituals that you believe will ward off misfortune; the deeper meanings mis-assigned to mundane events that can be produced by schizo-affective disorders; and also religious convictions to some degree, although those are rarely considered a clinical problem as with anything that helps or doesn't seem to hurt the participants. There seem to be as many potential causes of magical thinking as there are forms of the thought pattern itself, and trauma is an interesting one.

It might be better to think of "trauma" as "helplessness" here. Magical thinking can help impose a feeling of organization where there is chaos and loss of any sense of significance. There was a lot of magical thinking going around in the gritty, depressed town where I'm from, and I often thought it was because of the persistent economic pressure. It's relatively normal for kids to be susceptible to spooky ideas, but many of the adults were also full of ghost stories and superstitions. I have one very sensible friend who is smarter than I am, who grew up there too, and we often reflect on this, which helps me know that this isn't strictly an idea I have due to my own social choices. My friend doesn't live in that town anymore either, but she's always digging up interesting stuff related to it, and one day she showed me the website of someone there offering his services as a paranormal investigator. He was in his 20s, and the site included a lot of unconvincing photos and a long, vigorous testimonial by the guy's mom. Part of me was dying to put it on tumblr, but it would only have resulted in unnecessary cruelty. I was as much a victim of magical thinking as anybody, and I think even when I was pretty young I was aware of what motivated me to be so naive and gullible: that a world full of ghosts and vampires and UFOs and such was preferable to what I normally experienced, which was a consistent sense of boredom and meaninglessness and drudgery and embarrassment and pain and suffocation in an ugly, flavorless universe whose nicer side was not going to be available to me. I had a lot of really damaging friendships with manipulative assholes and pathological liars because I was so very willing to believe the crazy things they told me, just in case any of them were true, because such a truth could change my whole life.

Sometimes I think it's amazing that I never wound up in a cult, although I guess those relationships were sort of like little one- or two-person cults. Once in a while I read about some crime involving young people who think they're vampires or something, and I have a deep feeling of pity, because I think I know what they were going through (except for the part where they think they can do whatever they want to other people). The sad story of Shanda Sharer involves a whole group of badly abused and underprivileged teens, some of whom thought they were witches or vampires, and it just makes so much sense to me that they would be overtaken by these fantasies of secret meaning and power. Recently I watched Bad Vegan on Netflix, something that I avoided at first because I thought it was just about rich douchebags humiliating each other--which is like, what else is new--and to some degree it is, but actually it's way more disturbing than that. Ambitious young raw food entrepreneur Sarma Melngailis was manipulated, isolated, and ultimately kidnapped by this sadistic freak who preyed first on her loneliness and financial fears by pretending to be a rich suitor who could solve all of her problems; then he preyed upon her feelings of personal insignificance and failure by convincing her that he and she had been selected by a cabal of extraterrestrial illuminati who would make them immortal. Sarma seemed completely broken down to me, and I was amazed by her courage in describing the scam she fell for, that she must have known would invite derision. Part of the documentary explores her youth as a kid who always believed she could become something special, and then mundane tragedies like her parents' divorce brought her back down to earth in a painful way, and it seemed like she spent the rest of her life haunted by the idea that she might just be an ordinary failure of a person. I think that's part of what made her so vulnerable to this psychopath, that he was able to access her secret dream of having a special destiny. I got one of my friends to watch the show and she was very frustrated by it because she just couldn't figure out what Sarma's problem was that would cause her to ever believe the things she was told. I tried to reiterate what I've said here, but it didn't seem to mean anything. Ironically this friend is a practicing witch with formal beliefs in the supernatural, including that people can awaken special powers within themselves, but I guess one man's magical thinking is just um not another man's magical thinking.

I still have a lot of magical thinking going, but it doesn't have the same character it once did. I tend to think of it more as "symbolic thinking"; I have a hard time accessing senses of meaning and hope, let alone any kind of self-belief, and sometimes symbolic gestures and concepts can provide that access better than my own direct, practical attempts ever could. It helps that I have a basic agnosticism about the invisible structures of the world, like it's easy for me to believe that there is more to life than what comes in through the five senses, even if I don't pretend to know entirely what that "more" is. That may help me believe that "anything is possible" and I shouldn't give up, even if I direly want to and I know I'm being kind of irrational. Magical thinking can be a double-edged sword, but maybe it's better than nothing.

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lowlights · 10 months

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The Third Date - Javi Peña x f!Reader

The Third Date

Javi Peña x f!reader // 2.7k (no beta, u don't see any mistakes ok?)

Warnings: Female reader wearing femme clothing (skirt and chonky heels), anxiety, mentions of a crappy past relationship, Javi is handsy, insecurities, exhibitionist kink activated, maybe a little jewelry kink?, fingering, smut but like sweet smut, food and alcohol consumption, too much cuteness, reader is living her best 90s clothing life, retired!Javi, mood board picture is to show jewelry only

Summary: Your evening with Javier Peña takes a turn for the interesting when he takes you out on a date.

Thank you to all my friends who listened to me talk about this for too long, especially @ezrasbirdie.

The third date is when it’s supposed to happen, right? You hadn’t gone on a proper date in a long time, and maybe things had changed.

Oh god. What if things had changed?

While this was in fact only your third official date, you had known Javi for almost two months now. You met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, where he immediately zeroed in on you. You’d recently left behind a bad relationship that had run two years too long, and you liked the way he smiled at you. He asked for your number that night, promising to call the next day to set something up.

He didn’t call for three weeks.

Just as you had written him off, your phone rang. He was apologetic but vague, mumbling something about being busy but still wanting to take you out. The quiet timber of his voice melted your heart a little, and you said yes. When the next Friday rolled around he arrived with flowers and a chew toy for your dog Charlie, which won him major points in the dachshund’s book. He took you to the movies, and when he walked you to your door at the end of the date he confessed that he hadn’t called because he was nervous. Nervous about how much he liked you, and how he wasn’t so good at relationships. You confessed that were just as nervous about seeing someone new, but that you were only interested in something with the potential to be serious.

He kissed you and said he would call tomorrow. Which he did, to his credit and your delight; you weren’t really expecting it, to be honest. What you didn’t like was that he was calling from Florida. He had quickly explained something about an old partner and his wife who had given birth two weeks early, and he would be there for a little while to help fix up some things around the house. He called you every night before bed to hear about your day- Javi was more of a listener than a sharer- and to flirt relentlessly with you. He only hung up each night when a male voice in the background would yell about long-distance fees.

Three weeks later he came over for your famous fajitas and a movie. You made out like teenagers on the couch for the entire duration of the film and went to sleep with butterflies in your stomach that night. You had it bad for Javier Peña.

Now here you were. Date three. Suddenly despising every article of clothing you had chosen to wear.

A quick knock at the door meant you didn’t have time to reconsider your outfit. You took a final glance in the mirror and adjusted your long black wrap skirt. You had opted for your favorite deep v-neck top that was also black and covered with tiny sunflowers, which you had knotted and tucked up at the bottom. It was a pleasantly warm Texas night so you left your jacket behind. Chunky heels and silver rings completed your look, along with something else that you were thoroughly regretting putting on this evening.

No time to take that off now, he was annoyingly punctual tonight.

You pulled open the door. “Hey, Javi,” you said, attempting to hide your nervousness behind a big smile.

He looked you up and down without shame, his pouty lips morphing into a grin. “Well hey yourself, sunflower.”

You leaned in to press a quick kiss to his cheek, but he gently redirected your mouth to his and kissed you slowly. You melted against him, resting your hands against his sides. He’s the only man that had ever made you feel weak in the knees, something you thought authors had made up in those trashy romance novels you liked to read.

“You look so pretty, sweetheart,” he complimented, kissing you once more. “Ready to go?”

You nodded, grabbing your purse. “You look handsome yourself, Javi,” you said as you locked the door behind you. He was dressed in his usual jeans and boots, with a dark blue button-up shirt that looked like it had been freshly pressed. Javier Peña wasn’t one to dress up too much, now that suits weren’t required in his day-to-day life, but it was clear he had gone to some effort here. It felt nice to know that it was for you.

He laced his fingers through yours and only let go long enough to let you into his truck and hop in himself, where his hand immediately sought yours out again. Your conversation was easy, like always, and full of flirty glances. Javi maneuvered down some side streets in the old part of town and parked in front of a hole-in-the-wall restaurant you had never even heard of before.

The aroma wafting from the open door smelled divine. “I’m starving,” you lamented.

“Best tacos in town,” he promised, taking your hand and leading you inside.

Javi asked for the booth in the very back of the long room, where the tall dividing walls hid you from view from the rest of the patrons. You slid in first and he followed in right next to you.

“Oh no, are we going to be that annoying couple that eats on the same side of the table?” you joked, the word “couple” tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop it. Your brain tingled with the beginnings of panic.

He just raised an eyebrow at you but didn’t bother to conceal his smile. “Want me to move?”

You pulled his left arm around your shoulder. “Nope. I don’t mind if we’re annoying.”

“Me either.”

He didn’t freak out, at least outwardly, at your little slip. Maybe he didn’t mind. Maybe he even liked the sound of it.

The server, Diego, interrupted to take your drink order and let you look over the faded menus. Javi ordered without looking, enchiladas verdes with extra rice, and you asked Diego to bring whatever his favorite tacos were. Javi asked for a Paloma for you and a Shiner Bock for himself and turned his attention back to you. You smiled at Diego and thanked him before he disappeared back towards the kitchen.

Javi cupped your jaw with his right hand and leaned in for a soft kiss. You were so tucked away in this booth that no one could see you, thankfully. He trailed his hand down the front of your shirt, right between your breasts, and down to the top of your thigh. Before you could stop him to explain he ran his hand down your thigh towards your knee, pausing when he felt unfamiliar bumps under his touch.

He looked at you inquisitively. “What’s this?”

You felt heat creep up your neck. “Um, nothing.”

“Oh-okay.” He pulled his hand back to his side.

“It’s the third date!” you blurted out, cringing at yourself.

Javi’s confusion deepened. “Yeah, it is,” he said slowly.

You wanted the earth to open up and swallow you whole. “It’s just some jewelry. It’s nothing.”

Javi’s eyes flicked down to your thigh and back up to you. “Jewelry?”

You sighed. “My friend makes these pieces of thigh jewelry and she wanted me to have one. I-I thought that maybe you liked my thighs. You kept touching them when you came over to my house, and you said they looked pretty in my dress when we were on the phone, so I wore this tonight because it’s the third date.” The words were tumbling out of your mouth despite every brain cell in your head screaming shut up in a frantic cacophony.

Javi squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. “What does the third date have to do with anything?

You locked eyes with him. You were too far in now to play it cool, so you might as well tell him the truth. “The third date is when people are supposed to have sex.”

“Who told you that?” Javi asked. His voice was kind and you were pretty sure he wasn’t making fun of you.

“Cosmopolitan. And my friend Brenda.” You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

Javi’s brow furrowed. “Oh, baby, have you been worrying about that?” he asked.

You nodded shyly.

Javi had never hidden his emotions from you, letting his feelings splash across his face no matter the setting. He’d spent more than enough years training his face into disinterested neutrality but would never let you see that side of him. However, his look at this moment was confusing and that sent you into a tailspin. The condescending words of your ex swirled in your head, bitter reminders of the flaws and fears that he seeded within you for years.

Always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

It didn’t help things when he removed his hand from your shoulder. The booth suddenly felt almost claustrophobic.

“Honey, we don’t have to do a damn thing if you don’t feel like it. I’m sorry if I made you feel like that,” he said softly. True panic bubbled up in your chest as you struggled to find the words to explain, desperate to erase the look on his face. Was that look…hurt?

“Oh, god no. No! You didn’t pressure me, I promise. It’s just been a million years since I dated someone new and I thought-I thought…” Your voice trailed off. Javi knew a little bit about your last relationship, small admissions shared during your phone calls when it felt safe to tell him things alone in your living room. But now, with Javi’s big brown eyes staring at you, the words felt stupid as they tangled on your tongue.

Javi opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Diego bringing your drinks to the table.

“Your food should be out soon!” he said cheerily. Javi didn’t bother to respond, focused solely on you. You wished that you could rewind and go back to five minutes ago when his arm was around your shoulder and you hadn’t made a complete fool of yourself.

He cleared his throat. “Alright, so here’s what we are going to do. We can just sit here and enjoy these drinks and good food and have ourselves a really nice time. If you want something more, you tell me. You’re in charge here.”

You were stunned for a moment, not used to someone really giving you the reins like this. It was as terrifying as it was freeing and you seized the moment, tired of feeling like you had wasted time in your life. You didn’t want to waste a moment with Javi, let alone let this fall apart because of your own misgivings.

“Can you put your arm back around me?” you asked softly.

Javi obliged. “I can do that.”

You settled into his warmth, already feeling better. “I’m sorry. I just…I just really like you, Javi.”

“I really like you too, sunflower.”

His reassurance emboldened you further. “Can you go back to what you were doing before?”

He ran a finger slowly up your thigh, tracing the shape of the adornment under your skirt. “You mean this?” he asked coyly.

You shuddered and let out a breathy little yeah as his finger trailed upwards, teasing the slit of your skirt open the tiniest bit. His finger slowly skimmed across your bare skin, so faint you could barely feel it, and you felt as though your skin was on fire in its wake.

“Javi, I-”

“Alright, enchiladas for the gentleman and tacos al pastor for the lady! Can I get you anything else to drink?” Diego interrupted jovially. “Oh, you haven’t even touched your drink. Is everything okay? Can I get you something else?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” you said quickly, praying that the large table top hid Javi’s wandering hand from view. Diego’s presence wasn’t enough for him to stop trailing his finger up and down your inner thigh, however.

“Are you sure? Because if you don’t like your Paloma I can certainly get you -”

“She said she’s fine,” Javi interjected gruffly. Diego nodded and left the table hastily.

“He was just doing his job,” you tutted, although you were very happy that he was gone.

“He should have listened to you the first time,” Javi replied. “Besides, I’m curious about this jewelry. Can I see it?”

You nodded and watched his face with rapt attention as he pushed open your skirt far enough to see the glittery metal chains, delicately stretched across your skin.

“So pretty, baby. Looks so good on you.” His praise made you feel beautiful, and confidence settled deep in your chest. “Is this okay?”

You spread your legs wider, encouraging his hand to dip down at the apex of your thighs. “More than okay. Just make sure no one comes.” Javi had scared Diego away for the moment, but he would certainly be back before long.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if no one comes, honey.” Of course, Javi couldn’t let the double entendre pass by without a comment.

You had no time for a clever retort as Javi’s finger traced over your new lacy underwear, pressing lightly over your entrance. You arched into him, clinging to his broad shoulder with your left hand. He whispered praise to you as you, his honeyed words and gentle ministrations making your core drip against his hand. You took a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure that no one could see you, but everyone was tucked away in the adjoining booths and too focused on their meals to realize what was happening.

Without meaning to, a moan slipped past your lips and you buried your face against Javi’s neck to drown it out.

“Save all those sounds for me later, baby. No one here gets to hear you. Only me, right?” Javi asked you.

You nodded against him, inhaling his cologne of soft vetiver and golden amber. You kissed along the column of his neck as he pushed your panties aside and dipped one thick finger in.

“That’s it, that’s it. Does that feel good?” he asked, rubbing his thumb against your clit in gentle circles. Javi alternated between gliding one finger in between your folds and pressing down with just enough weight with his thumb to drive you absolutely mad. Eventually, Javi slid in a second finger, stretching you to the point of feeling pleasantly full. When you whimpered against his neck he swirled your clit hard enough to make you clench around his fingers.

Your orgasm was soft and syrupy, like being draped in a warm glow. Javi cooed praise in between pressing kisses to the crown of your head. He gently removed his fingers and without hesitation sucked on them while you readjusted your skirt.

“Javi, oh my god,” you scolded. “You can’t!” No one had ever tasted you like that before, not right in front of you.

“Why not? I wasn’t gonna let that go to waste.”

“Because…oh my god,” you repeated, the realization of everything that just happened washing over you. You had just let him finger you. In a restaurant. Where people were.

And you liked it. And it was good.

Javi chuckled and kissed you deeply, brushing his thumb across your cheek. You could faintly taste yourself on his tongue.

“Eat your tacos, sunflower. They’re getting cold,” Javi instructed, picking up his own fork and diving into the rice. You resituated yourself so that you could eat, not bothering to hide your smile when he left his arm around your shoulders.

Even cold, the tacos were amazing. You would have to make sure to leave Diego an extra big tip for the recommendation- and the privacy.

“So,” you said between mouthfuls of food, “I don’t think this is what Brenda meant by getting back out there.”

Javi quirked an eyebrow, mischief glistening in his eyes. “I would argue that you just got back out there in a pretty big way.”

You giggled. “Well, it definitely was not part of the rules she mentioned.”

Javi put his fork down and turned to you, lips pursed in thought. “What do you say we forget the rules, hm?”

That sounded really, really good.

#javi peña #javier peña #javi p x f!reader #narcos #javi peña x you #javier peña x reader #narcos fanfiction

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max-oats · 10 months

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hi! we made a game for #GMTKJam 2023

its called HONK SHOO MIMI and its about when you've been kidnapped but your hero is sooooooo sleepy that you have to use your magic powers to get them to save you

made by my friend/birthday-sharer Robin (programming) and me (art/audio/programming)

DISCLAIMER we were super short for time & ended up making 2 v short levels and a physics playground. its EXTREMELY NOT DONE but its fun to play around with & i hope u see the potential 🫡

#game dev #gmtkjam #gmtk2023

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srbachchan · 1 year

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DAY 5536

Jalsa, Mumbai April 13/14, 2023 Thu/Fri 12:05 AM

Birthday - EF - Prasha Ganesh .. Friday, 14 April .. greetings filled with the affection of the Ef .. ❤️

🌹 .. April 14 .. birthday of Ef Prasha Ganesh from Sri Lanka and Urvashi Sharma .. both sharer of birth with Bharat Ratna Dr Babasaheb Ambedkar .. and on this auspicious day we wish you all the love and happiness, Prasha and Urvashi ji ..

... and having done the birthdays the slumber and the routines of daily responsibilities took over and here we are on the 14th of Apr again at 9:17 AM

intriguing debates and discussions pursued the entire day in discussion and Saptaswar, for projects that need careful attention and involvement for the work undertaken .. it is a World of rapid change ..

Change .. or be changed by circumstances .. but change you will .. it is the byline tag USP of each daily day now .. and the generation that occupies the Universe , unaware of the past and the good it left, have before them the incredible NEW World of immense value and invention and technology that is keeping us oldies breathless and under no condition to keep up with them ..

Smarter faster in intellect .. educated for it , for borrowed through technology, it is an inevitable occurrence .. cannot fight against it , for when you do the force of the technological world swishes past you , leaving you gasping for fresh air .. if at all there is some ..

there is some merit in the ‘elixir of life’ .. the bean, burnt melted in degrees of consumption and which states that it is welcomed by several parts of the interior physiognomy .. one of such being the cerebrum .. which exudes intellect physical extended limits and much more .. actually the guile and freedom to performance enhanced brings immense pleasure to not just the consumer, but indeed they that come in close proximity ..

and the consumer .. well .. it is being protected now by law and morality soon .. the one that propagates is the one that shall be at the gate of answerability ..

Hmmmmmmm ..

a great deal of .. MMMMMMMMMM .. shall follow if this is put into practice ..

time shall tell ..

the breathing machinery be present now .. which nostril bringing in the energy .. so 🙏 ..

more later .. the famous departure express ..

Love

Amitabh Bachchan

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myobsessionsspace · 5 months

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Fatigue

Kinda Random Thoughts a couple of days after the 'last BTS Live'

Ngl feeling a bit of mental and emotional fatigue.

I think it’s safe to say it’s going around.

The sad thing about social media is no matter how much you try and curate your own bubble with things that make you happy and positive people, it’s hard to maintain. Social media is a representation of everyday offline people. Regular people behind the usernames with their own opinions, experiences, likes and dislikes (celebrities are regular people too, just famous for something or talented and known for it).

Though it’s good for growth and maturity to not just surround yourself with the same opinions and thoughts as yourself, it’s also tiring when you feel the need just be understood. When you can never enjoy things in peace because others need more information, more context, need to pick apart, need to make their side seen, their conclusions/interpretations the decisive one.

Over the years we’ve had SEVERAL Jikook lives, OT7 lives or lives with some of the members as well as Jikook. I, like most of us, LOVE Jikook lives. When watched in its entirety we not only see their ‘moments’ but we see them as regular people, we then can discern the fake from true when we see fake subs, edits etc. What makes Jikook even more interesting and captivating, to me, is when I can see the similarities as well as the exceptions in their interactions with each other and their other members. I found Jikook AFTER I found BTS…

and not only do I love their lives with primarily the two of them, I also love their solo lives, their lives with other members and OT7 lives. All the members are interesting in their own ways and their lives shed light on them and the other members, Jikook included. Watching their lives (though still them putting their best face forward and always aware that they’re being watched by millions) is so much more rewarding than just watching edits, summaries etc from the likes of TikTok, YouTube and other platforms. It’s fun AFTER watching their lives to then see what army have done to have fun with them, such as funny edits, fake FUN subs etc.

**please please please, weverse is free, whenever you have the time, watch the lives there with the subtitles there, though not always the best, it’s better than those who may not translate for altruistic reasons**

It gets me down sometimes the constant need it seems, within fandom culture, to microanalyse every piece of content we get. We have the need to seek out hidden messages, hidden looks, put context behind what is and isn’t said. Give explanation where it isn’t needed and draw conclusions from what isn’t said.

Most of the time it’s cute, fun and ‘harmless’

But sometimes 😪

MANIPULATION, MISINFORMATION & MISTRANSLATION

Without agenda, edits, cuts, slow mo and with context & rightful subtitles - Original Weverse Source

It’s always been this way and sadly seems like it always will be. I like context, I like information, when possible I like to get it from the original source. It’s nice when busy and unable to read whole interviews or watch whole lives, to see little snippets and clips that float around online. But it’s so draining when those little clips and snippets are then used to paint different pictures and narratives depending on the sharer’s biases/intention. When it’s aimed at making members into villains, defaming their characters etc.

It’s rarely the case that the purpose for lives (when there is one) ends up being appreciated solely for that. Just the members wanting to connect with their fans.

mukbangs, karaokes, Legos, q&a’s, tmi’s, messages of thanks, birthday lives, just because lives. All the times they go on live that can be appreciated for just that end up being used as material for hate

Everytime it should be healing to interact with those we are fans of, after the initial wave of euphoria is over, undoubtedly what follows is soo much negative noise, new narratives, more hate etc.

As I said before I try to curate my timelines, who I follow, things I like & comment on etc but sometimes the need to correct misinformation, the need to defend the lies and negativity means I still end up seeing so much of the bad.

REAL (Weverse Original Source)

FAKE!

I know this is a cycle and I have choices and am not being forced to be anywhere.

It’s just one of those days where I want to word vomit on my blog.

I just want to enjoy BTS and Jikook peacefully and positively. Why can’t everyone want to do the same for their faves?? Why is it always so angry and combative and about winners and losers, horrible name calling and malicious lies, insults, nasty images etc. Why campaigns to cause mental anguish to members and their family? To sabotage and try to get members separated or even imprisoned. Why mass report playlists and accounts? Why when more often than not, it changes nothing.

If you don’t like something why spend so much energy on it? The members will still interact with each other, those that have ships & biases remain and Jikook will still be Jikook 💅

I know social media is a representation of the real world and that there are nasty people in the real world, so of course it makes sense that there are nasty people online, it’s just tiring and sucks the fun out.

They won’t stop me enjoying BTS’ music & content, them as individuals and a group nor will they stop me enjoying whatever Jikook chose to share with us,

but everyone once in a while it does mean I get social media fatigue, fandom fatigue and the need for me to do posts like this.

💜

Please use this post to share on the good things you like about the fandom, the group and BTS & Jikook online spaces. Let’s bring the positivity back for ourselves 💪

I hope anyone feeling like me can find what they need to keep on going in the fandom or make the move to take a break 💜

#turned from a small random thoughts into a full post #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #tired #BTS anti’s fatigue #Jikook anti’s fatigue #social media fatigue #random musings #random thoughts

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