#bi lesbiask

[bi-lesbian]

I'm a female exclusively and only attracted sexually and romantically to other females. What does that make me?

well its not like i can Assign you a label, bc identities dont work like that. you can use just lesbian, if you want, since it being an umbrella label doesnt mean it cant also apply to your identity. thats the great things about identities though, that you can choose your labeling or even go unlabeled and just live youre life, theyre not prescriptive.

though, if you mean "female" specifically to mean people assigned that at birth, then id just label you an asshole.

otherwise, enjoy the wonders of the vast lesbian experiences of your fellow lesbians if you so choose. bc isnt it great we can all share our joy in being attracted to/loving women no matter how different we may be?

#ik this ask is extremely likely isnt in good faith but i just woke up n have salt in me ig #bi lesbiask #lesbian #im gonna try to get more sleep snnzz i dont like waking up at 6 am

[les-bi-cons]

Are you still doing icons?

yes! i tend to fluctuate in activity due to my energy/motivation issues, but im always accepting new requests and will absolutely get to them at some point ! i go through my requests in the order i receive them!

#bi lesbiask

[closetedlesbianthoughts]

Is there anything wrong with identifying as bi? Like I've always thought I was straight (who hasn't?), but recently, seeing all these lesbian posts and texts make me feel really warm. I've been thinking about how awesome it would feel to have a girlfriend, but I feel like social norms are holding me back and I'm just really confused. Do you have any advice as to how I can find some clarity?

there’s nothing wrong with identifying as bi if you are bi! you don’t have to be a lesbian to want a girlfriend— wlw encompass bi girls, pan girls, lesbians, poly girls, etc. 

if you’re interested in more than one gender romantically and/or sexually, congrats! you’re bi! you mention wanting a girlfriend— that’s not something straight girls do ;)

we’ve given lots of advice on picking labels so feel free to check our /tagged/lesbiasks tag! 

#lesbiasks #mod hecate #Anonymous #labels

[bi-lesbian]

can an alternate symbol for mspec-lesbian(/mspec-gays/etc. if that’s what the symbol applies too) be 🌙🌺/🌺🌙? I don’t want people thinking I’m a gross comshipper….

-Comic🪐

its specifically 🌙🌙🌸 for the bi double moons, and theres no violet flower emoji for lesbian so the sakura is in place to at least fit the upright, 5-petaled look from my bi lesbian symbol (so its not a bi gay symbol as well, ive been meaning to make one but havent gotten around to it yet). but you can do whatever you want, i guess

whatever this is people are coming to me about seems extremely new and niche though, never heard of it before and any results are only in the past couple years 🤷‍♀️ my 🌙🌙🌸 symbolism for bi lesbian has been around longer

id rather not make a mental association of my identity to something that triggers me, so id appreciate people not bringing this topic up to me again

#bi lesbiask #shipcourse tw

[bi-lesbian]

Hiii, I have a terminology question?

I've always assumed Masc lesbian was in reference to them being masc individuals, but the she/her mlm equivalent is also called Masc gay? (I've been referring to them as femme mlms, and such because I couldn't find a community name)

Is u h there a reason for this? Does masc in this content mean something else?

-thankkkk youuuu

i have a feeling you may be misreading something! if youre asking for what this blog is about, thats mspec lesbians and mspec gays. mspec means multi-spectrum attraction, nothing about being masc! (though anyone whos mspec can be masc or not, but theyre not related labels) mspec is for anyone who likes more than one gender, so its an umbrella label for bi, pan, poly, omni, etc!

btw if someone is a she/her gay, it doesnt necessarily mean theyre femme/fem, same for he/him lesbians arent necessarily butch/masc! theres a wide overlap of course, but pronouns dont always equal presentation or otherwise!

#bi lesbiask #i hope this has cleared anything up!

[bi-lesbian]

hi there! is it okay if i make an mspec gay/veldian symbol to go with your mspec lesbian symbol? i was thinking of keeping the mspec crescents but changing the flower to a carnation. if you don't want me to that's okay! i love your flags and symbols btw they're all so pretty, the bi, pan, and omni lesbian flags are some of my fav flags :D

actually i have been planning to make an mspec gay symbol, and with a carnation! i havent gotten around to it yet, but i already have a design in mind! so hopefully i can get that made out sometime soon (just need to get past my energy issues)

and thank you so much!! that makes me happy to hear ^w^

#bi lesbiask #part of why i hadnt gotten around to it yet was bc my tablet died. but i got a new one now! #n ive had so many projects on the backburner its hard to keep track of em all fisufhd #so this was a good reminder that this was one of the things i wanted to get done

[bi-lesbian]

can i use the mspec lesbian flag as an emote in my server?

yeah! they can be used anywhere for anything! same for my symbols!

#the only thing i dont want is ppl claiming to have made them or w/e but i dont really expect that to happen #bi lesbiask

[bi-lesbian]

Not trying to be rude, I’m genuinely curious, but what would you call a non men who’s only attracted to non men then, doesn’t that kind of erase our identity? And there’s nothing wrong with liking men but a big part of the reason why people hate lesbians or at least from what I’ve gotten is for not being attracted to men, so although similar, we don’t face the same type of oppression.

yalld just be using lesbian- something being an umbrella term doesnt erase anybodys identity. gay being an umbrella label for the entire community doesnt erase gay men. if you really want to be sure and specific about it you can use modifiers like mono lesbian or the like (mono lesbian probably wouldnt be good for including enbies though), or perhaps even coin a new term, bc lesbian has historical significance to bi people as well and is often still used by many of them, and ppl taking it just bc they want a term for themselves doesnt sit well with me- especially when its usually put alongside biphobic rhetoric (claiming theyre untrustworthy, theyre the reason men prey on lesbians, theyre aiding in their own oppression by associating with men, etc), and the exclusionism of bi people from the lesbian label was mostly started by radfems around the 70s.

bi women using lesbian isnt the reason why predatory men prey on queer women. its bc men are often taught theyre entitled to womens bodies, and changing the defintion of lesbian (which isnt universally agreed upon, mind you) to exclude men isnt really doing anything to tell predatory men to stop preying on mono lesbians, because they dont. Care. and it usually just ends up pointing fingers at bi people instead bc theyre an easier target, in an aggressive "relating to yall is putting us in danger, youre the enemy" way, its clear how thats biphobic, yes? bi women have always used lesbian since it existed, but then radfems deem them the enemy, blame them for predatory men who often also prey on bi women as well, and try to take the label and thus also bi womens own history away from them, its why im not okay with whatever reasoning people use to try to keep that mindset in place.

and oppression is a messy thing, its not neat and strict across labels. talking about oppression that are typically identity-specific is fine, but people need to realize that queerphobes dont really care about peoples specific identities, if they perceive them as a thing then theyll treat them as such, so saying its expressly different oppression for different labels just doesnt really hold up. straight trans ppl can be treated like gays or lesbians, a gnc person can be treated like theyre trans, a bi woman with her feminine enby partner can be treated as two mono lesbian women, and various other things. and people refering to it as "misdirected" i think is frankly kinda gross.. its not misdirected, our oppression is intrinsically linked, and thus will overlap and mix- bc its all about how society views us. and someone not experiencing the """right""" oppression doesnt mean theyre not still suffering from it.

and remember, not all bi lesbians like men either, bc many use bi to mean liking 2 or more genders, which doesnt necessarily include men. this is another reason why a lot of people see overlap in lesbian and bi, even aside from using lesbian as an umbrella label.

#sorry if any of this sounds stilted or confusing or whatnot. im like incredibly sleepy rn but my brain said Type Out Post. so here i am #bi lesbiask #bi lesbian #explanation #history #i think i may have got off on some tangents too probably sorry my brain is just in that sorta place rn. or probably all the time really but #bfjdhfjd

[bi-lesbian]

Where did the term bi lesbian come from? I read somewhere that it came from a terf who wanted to separate lesbians who dated cis women and lesbians who slept with trans women. Is this true?

it absolutely did not originate from terfs, thats a lie being spread by a lot of exclusionists who are doing literally 0 research into the label because they just. dont care apparently 🤷‍♀️

ive gone into this before with this post on my FAQ. the term bi lesbian has existed for decades, and from what i know there isnt some like, Specific Origin of it, because lesbian originated as being inclusive of mspec people, and its still commonly used as an umbrella term- despite how exclusionists try to claim its somehow universally not one (words just dont work like that, its always going to vary by place, time, and person).

i have some sources in my #history tag dating back to the 70s of people using bi lesbian (or more often, bisexual lesbian), and possibly earlier, i cant remember atm. that was also around the time second wave political feminism was getting big, which is what we more often call radfemism now. and they hate any sort of connection to men, as we all know. they spread a lot of biphobic rhetoric around, blaming bi women for predatory men, saying they cant be trusted bc of their relation to men, that theyre aiding in their own oppression, etc etc. which all that is still extremely prevalent today! i know a ton of radfems have thrown that first one at me especially bc i identify as a bi lesbian. radfems have forced bi people out of the lesbian community in many peoples eyes, and exclusionists trying to say that radfems somehow own, created, or define bi lesbianism is not only gross, but blatantly ahistorical.

exclusioinsts cant try to say we are with the same people who are also constantly sending us death threats (bc yes, ive gotten many from radfems and exclusionists alike).

#bi lesbiask #bi lesbian #history

[bi-lesbian]

do you think using the term "sapphic bisexual" would clear up confusion people have with the meaning? i know some lesbians are uncomfortable with the term being used by people who experience also attraction to men (since the definition of lesbian is someone who doesn't experience any male attraction whatsoever iirc?) would it be more fitting/better express the identity you think? i guess it's a difficult and confusing thing to navigate linguistically.

no, because lesbian has historically belonged to bi ppl as well, and them being pushed out was motivated by radfems, claiming bi women are "aiding in their own oppression" and are untrustworthy for associating with men. people taking a term away from fellow queers while being gross to them, and then going "well you can just use this less commonly used term instead ♡" does not sit well with me, especially when its caused people to think lesbian and bi history isnt mostly shared, so they try to take other labels from bi people as well (for example: butch, femme, dyke). and lesbian is still used as an umbrella term by many, theres not a universally agreed upon definition.

#bi lesbiask #bi lesbian #explanation

[bi-lesbian]

does lesbian not inherently exclude attraction to men, which is inherently included in pansexuality (and some definitions of bi)?

to a lot of people it does, but definitions arent universal and vary by place, time, and people. lesbian originated with also including mspec people- any mspec people- and is still how a lot of people define it today.

to me and many others, lesbian means loving women while being a woman or some sort of genderqueer that feels accurately described with lesbian. loving a variety of enbies is common too. thats it, it doesnt state anything about men bc lesbian is not inherently about men. its about loving women. a lot of people using lesbian do not like men, but there are a lot of people that do, and theres a ton of reasons for why they identify the way they do (which is gone into more on various posts in my #explanation and #history tags).

#bi lesbiask #mspec lesbian #bi lesbian #pan lesbian #ply lesbian #omni lesbian #explanation #history

[bi-lesbian]

I just saw your "shoutout to lesbians who are men in some way" post and.. I can be a transmasc lesbian? I know my gender isn't feminine but my attraction to women is 100% queer. I used to think I was a trans man but I thought I couldnt be a lesbian as well. ive been having a lot of trouble figuring out my gender because of that

yeah definitely! ive met others who are transmasc lesbians, because gender and orientation are complex!

for one way i can recall right now, theres been some people where they identify as transmasc or as a trans man in a sort of "close enough" way, its an easy simpler term to tell others, but they still have other gender stuff going on thats unlabeled! im sure theres other ways out there for why people identify this way too!

queerness is complex- if something resonates with your identity, then i think you should use it so you can fully represent yourself authentically! regardless if it seems "confusing" or "contradictory" to some, bc labels are all a bit different from person to person.

#bascially my views on labels are ''make labels your bitch'' CHKDBFJ #bi lesbiask #transmasc lesbian #trans man lesbian

[bi-lesbian]

To those anons asking if they can be a lesbian if theyre this gender. I think it's more productive to ask if *you personally* can identify as a lesbian, like does it feel misgendering? No? Then you can be a lesbian!

^^ yeah this is a good point!! i know it can be nice to have someone validate ur identity, but also keep in mind no one can be any sort of authority on your identity but you!

#bi lesbiask #lesbian #genderqueer lesbian #nonbinary lesbian #transmasc lesbian #bigender lesbian #genderfluid lesbian #etc etc !

[bi-lesbian]

OKAY the “ftmtf” and “ftmtnb” tag reminded me … and I hope this doesn’t sound silly bc im serious.. what do you call someone who is afab non binary bigender (transmasc?) but feels distressed over not being amab and transfem ..someone who feels like they are meant to be amab transfem but are afab… what advice do you give to someone like that if it’s causing them genuine distress and causing them to obsess over this daily? and having extreme dysphoria about not being amab and they are not a cis woman.. i find no one else with this experience and don’t know how to help bc no one feels the same and people get angry and say it’s transphobic … and they very well know it’s not a good feeling to have but genuinely cannot get rid of this feeling.. they are also possibly a system so maybe It’s a transfem alter causing these feelings? even if that’s the cause… person still feels transfem … let me make it clear they aren’t identifying this way bc people have said it’s just for amab folk so they aren’t! just wish they cld

doesnt sound silly at all! i actually feel like i may have heard someone else having feelings kinda like this, but i cant remember for sure, or who it may have been :O im sure youre not alone tho, theres so many people out theres with complex feelings, theres bound to be some feeling the same as you do!

if any of yall relate to this feel free to comment/reblog/etc with your experiences, im sure itd help anon (and also probably help others find people with similar feelings too). i dont know too much about this sorta thing since i dont experience it and havent heard too much from people having these feelings, but i always wanna hear more from people about experiences im unfamiliar with!

also in regards to transfem/transmasc, i think i have heard from Some people identifying as those that people can use transfem when afab and transmasc when amab iirc..? i could be remembering wrong though, and obviously theres going to be people of those identities with different views about that. transfem and transmasc dont equal trans woman and trans man, so i think if someone goes from (assigned) woman to some sort of feminine nonbinary gender, i think it could be considered transfem? but again im not completely sure, i havent seen too much talk about this :O those that are transfem and transmasc can feel free to add any corrections/inputs/views if youd like!

#bi lesbiask #transfem #transmasc

[bi-lesbian]

um im not accusing you of anything so dont take this the wrong way. dont you think saying "when you view gender as a pretty much infinite range, acknowledge the fact that theres no bounds of appearance for any particular gender, realize that you can never know what someones gender is just by looking at them, it becomes hard or impossible to label your orientation with rigidity with the typical gender-based labels." is.. kinda homophobic?

its normal for bisexuals to have this "gender neutral" attitude towards sexuality and gender like you, but as someone who is not bisexual (im a mono lesbian) i do not relate to this at all. woman DOES have an appearance... thats how i know im a lesbian.

youve been talking about how bi lesbians feel like their experiences are being erased and i sympathize with that but that also means you cant do the same to women that dont like men at all. its very belittling to my experiences to imply im attracted to an idea or a label instead of like, a real type of person.

just because you dont relate to it doesnt mean its erasing or belittling your experiences? that post was coming from the viewpoint of being genderqueer, and how that completely affects my view of gender, and thus my personal view of gender-based attraction. if its not relatable to you then cool, it doesnt apply to you, but trying to claim my genderqueer experience affecting my orientation is "homophobic" just bc it doesnt fit your experience with gender and orientation is shitty. and can yall stop assuming im somehow erasing mono lesbians when im just talking about my own specific personal experiences? im not speaking for all lesbian-kind, im not saying my shit is universal, so please stop acting like YOURS has to be.

and yes women do have a typical appearance, but emphasis on typical. theres all sorts of factors that broaden gender appearances, theres both cis and trans women who dont ""pass"" to others, theres some intersex women who have visible body differences bc of being intersex, there gnc women, various kinds of genderqueer women who present in whatever way they wish- you cant always tell someones gender by their appearance, and to deny that is to ignore all of those types of women, and can easily fall into transphobia territory. if someone looked at me they would probably just think "girl," but that doesnt mean im not a femme genderfluid enby.

#bi lesbiask

[bi-lesbian]

why is it that almost every transfem I know is an mspec lesbian? I’m not trying to be rude, I just wonder why that is.

oh is that so? im not sure about transfems specifically, but ive def noticed a LOT of different kinds of nonbinary mspec lesbians (such as myself).

it probably comes down to the fact that being genderqueer often gives you a complex idea of gender in general, which affects your idea of orientations, as the most common orientation labels are gender-based. thats been the situation for me at least! and it seems like a lot of others relate to that from what ive seen. i went into talking about that on this post. hope that helps satisfy ur curiousity!

#bi lesbiask #transfem #mspec lesbian