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l0velylecter · 1 year

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you can be the boss, philip graves / reader & captain john price / reader

— ‘ a fire in his eyes, know, i saw it.’

summary : graves (or) price sees you all beautiful and can’t help but ruin you pairings : philip graves / reader & captain john price / reader fandom : call of duty modern warfare ii pairing : f!reader / phillip graves , f!reader / captain john price rating : m for suggestive themes, minors don’t interact (mdni!), not safe for work (nsfw!) warnings : graphic descriptions of sex, cursing tags : kissing, making out, degration, sub/dom dynamics, spanking, oral , sex alternative title : the cod : mw ii men as lana del rey songs, vol.i song used for inspiration : you can be the boss by lana del rey

You taste like the fourth of July Malt liquor on your breath, my, my…

01 | “ C’mere baby,” Phillip grinned, pulling you atop his lap. With both your legs straddling his hips, he used a hand to palm your ass before squeezing it — abruptly pulling you forward and directly atop his growing bulge. He swallowed your gasp with a rough kiss : he smells like malt liquor and the expensive perfume you got him last Christmas, and when you rub your nose against his chin, you giggled at the feel of his stubble.

The man is all teeth and tongue: your boyfriend never gets past the first hour of going home from a mission without getting handsy with you. The dinner reservation at his favourite restaurant no longer relevant when he saw you applying your lipstick by the vanity table. You let out a small laugh at the sight of rogue red lip stains peppering his face and smearing his cheeks, only to moan the moment he bunches your dress up to your waist, his eyes lighting up at the sudden realisation that you weren't wearing anything underneath. He bit into your bottom lip, his voice dropping in between kisses.

" Naughty girl. What should I do with you, hm ?"

You grind down and he let out a strained, “ Fuck.”

Almost immediately, he had you over his knees — ass up in the air.

“ You dirty little slut. It’s almost like you’re begging for it.”

A ringing sound echoed around the private bedroom you share, bouncing off the walls and windows, and with it, over your right cheek, came a flash of pain that lingered briefly, brilliantly — the sharp yet exquisite pain, forcing out a cry of surprise from you. Seconds after the shock turned into warm, ripe heat, Phillip spanked you again, pulling a shameless, high-pitched moan out of you.

“ Easy girl, this is what you get for teasing me after all those nights alone, thinking about you, kissing you, fucking you. You drive me insane, you know that ?”

His other hand started stroking down your lower back, and now you understand why he chose this backless dress for you — he’s always had this fascination of running his fingers, his lips down your spine: gently, smoothly. His thumb rubbed over your skin: the softness of it, in contrast to the sharp heat from his spanking drove you to the edge.

By the fourth spank, he had his other hand working on your clit, the onslaught of stimuli making you come immediately. Yet even when you’re panting and shaking over his lap, Phillip still has the audacity to tease you, moving to the bed so he can pull your hair down to hear your whine. With your nails running down his back, you tried pulling him into a kiss, but because he’s an asshole — Phillip resisted with his lips hovering above yours. You know what he wants, and you smacked his chest weakly, frustrated that right before you climax, he started to edge you on: refusing to sink into you even if you can feel him right at your already soaking entrance. “ C’mon sweetheart, you know what I want.”

Sobbing from how his hand is still in between your legs, you whimpered, “ Please, Phillip, kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.” “ Is that all ?” “ Fuck me, please ! I want you in me.” “ Good girl, you know I love that shit,” He chuckled, and with a kiss, he finally buried himself inside of you in one go: your body warm and inviting, having remembered the shape of his body against yours. He’s ruined you for other men, and the cocky bastard knows this.

He had a cigarette with his number on it He gave it over to me, “Do you want it?”

02 | " My woman," Price murmured against your shoulder, his beard scratching over the skin and making you laugh. You let out a content sigh, eyes still glued onto the vanity mirror. The reflection of the jewels resting across your neck rendered you speechless, fingers still gently caressing the diamonds — the cool texture paired with his hands running up and down your shoulders sending a shiver down your spine. You turn to face him, stroking the side of his face before tenderly kissing him, "Thank you... it's beautiful."

One of your favorite things about him is that he always spoils you with gifts. He never greets you empty-handed, whether, with a bouquet or a necklace so expensive that knowing the fee nearly made you pass out, he showers you with affection. But gifts are not the only way Price pampers you.

Hearing you so awed and breathless did things to him, and when you were looking up at him so sweetly — Price couldn't resist.

" Christ," He groaned, sliding a hand under your chin to pull you to his lips. You grinned against his kisses, inhaling the scent of tobacco and bergamot while his thumb stroked your chin. You had to remind him that you were only human, and when you gasped, he kept his fingers around your neck: careful to put just the right amount of pressure to make your mind heady with excitement.

With one big swoop, he carried you onto the bed like you weighed nothing, giving you a nice view of his arms. Out of his uniform and in his crisp button-down shirt, you bit your lip in anticipation as you watched Price roll down his sleeves to the elbows. Catching you staring, he raised a brow, " Patience, love. Now be good and lay down for me, will you ?"

You nodded.

" I didn't quite catch that."

" Yes..sir"

He grinned, " That's it."

He ran a hand up your thigh, starting from your calves before slowly, teasingly going up — the feather-light touches enough to make you squirm. Yet he scolds you by stopping, " Hands to yourself, sweetheart. No touching unless I say so, understood?"

" But-"

" Don't make me repeat myself."

Keeping your mouth shut, you felt like pulling your hair out. But you knew Price likes to take his time to admire you, to undress you with his eyes; it would have made you come if it wasn't for the promise of more. Eventually, he positioned himself between your legs, his heated look disappearing underneath your dress. Your head nearly collided against the headboard when he gave one long lick across your clit, his rough and calloused fingers joining soon after.

And when you come down from your climax, Price would give your hip an encouraging squeeze, easing you through your high. He kisses you almost immediately, letting you taste yourself on him. It's euphoric how protected and cared for you feel around Price, and when he undresses you like a present, leaving you with nothing but the necklace on, he worships you through each thrust. Praising you for how good you take him, for how warm and tight and perfect you are for him.

It was clear who was in control, whether in the field or the bedroom — Price moved to conquer, to mark, to seize. Just as he gives, he takes, and tonight he has his eyes on you.

a/n : price is so lana del rey vinyl, and this lana song definitely reminds me of them. i need sugar daddy price and graves spoiling their s/os. with how much cigar this man smokes, i just know price has a butler, a mansion and generational wealth left behind by his war hero grandfather. ( lily-rose depp who ? my favorite nepo baby is captain john price ) and graves definitely takes pride in being the traditional breadwinner ( and i am willing housewife ) i hope you enjoy this !

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celenawrites · 9 months

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TW - just a vent about fandom stuff.

I feel kinda sad about how some creators in the CoD fandom have now abandoned creating content for the game series due to the demanding nature of other fans who used to consume their content. (fics, art, etc)

Like, these artists/writers in the fandom write fanfics/create art, FOR FREE OF COST and dedicate SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY to their craft despite not getting much in return, only to deal with senseless hate, ignorance, stupidity and get treated as content generation machines; instead of actual human beings with jobs and studies and friends and families that need their time and attention as well.

A lot of us folks who write or draw do this as a hobby. As an outlet for our creativity, and we find this community for the media we are currently fixated on and we create things inspired by it cuz it brings us joy. IT MAKES US HAPPY SO WE CREATE CONTENT FOR IT!!! And then to see the same fandom/community and their horrendous behaviour driving away the creators from the fandom and the media itself is just....sad. Very disheartening.

Like I miss so many of the creators who have just given up on CoD cuz of this issue. Their works have inspired me to start writing again. They make me wish I start learning how to draw and paint again too. Their works have touch my soul, and made me happy - gave me something to look forward to every day.

But I'd much rather they leave the fandom and take care of themselves and their life, than to succumb to this weird pressure fans and fan-content consumers put on them, y'know?

Plus recently, I've seen a lot of racist and stereotypical prejudices from some CoD fans (and even some creators). I know a lot of them are new to the fandom, I was too. But I took an active effort to learn more about this game series. (and it's an ongoing effort cuz I cannot afford to play the games so I have to settle for wiki articles, gameplays, and comics) And I see so many fans not give a shit about it. They treat these characters as blank canvases to fulfill their hypersexual fantasies. (I like me a good smut fic or two, don't get me wrong) But that just makes it impossible for newer fans to get to know more about the lore and the characters. I had just finished watching the campaign for MW, and let me tell you, there are so many complex missions, characters and storylines to explore and depict through fanfics, and it's insane so many people disregard it for their whimsies so easily. That will just stunt your growth as an artist/writer! Read up on the lore, watch the game plays(the OGs and the remakes!) , maybe even read the comics!!! I promise you won't regret it ever!!!

Also, please! For all that is holy, stop putting these complex fictional characters into restricted boxes and label them. That just makes them so one-dimensional. Like -

Soap is not always cheery and bubbly and your fellow bestie. Simon is not an abuser/emotionally dead asshole just because he has a hard time expressing his emotions like everyone else. König, despite the lack of storyline/lore we have on him, isn't an uwu social anxiety babygirl, damn it. Stop excluding Gaz from your HCs and fics! He's a complex man with so many interesting things to explore about his overall story and psyche as a part of 141. He's not always begging for Price's approval either, he can and has objected to how questionable their methods have been regarding their field/work. Stop excluding Gaz from 141 stuff! It makes you look like a POS, and a lot of the people who exclude him are doing so for....pretty racist reasons. As a POC, this shit sucks balls. Also stop stereotyping POC characters in CoD - Alejandro, Rudy, Valeria, Gaz, Farah....just stop. Their ethnicity or race should not deter you from writing about them in a way that doesn't come across as prejudiced and ill-informed.

Also, not necessarily a rant, but please consider/remember the fact that the military has always been a bit of a morally dubious field of work irl, and just cuz CoD is military-centric and features characters who work in the army or PMC and take out bad guys - that doesn't take away from the violent history military has and how they have contributed to the deterioration of many countries (mainly in the Middle East). Heck, even these characters in the CoD games have done extremely unethical things and employed treacherous methods in order to get the job done. These characters may be good people in fiction, but that doesn't mean that they have done great things or have always stayed morally pure. Explore the dubious nature of it all - explore how dark and harrowing it can be for them and for the people that unwittingly or knowingly get involved in their work. It's dark and twisted but it's crucial since it's inspired from our world and it's necessary for us as humans and as artists to explore such themes and analyse them! It's crucial for the soul!!!

#call of duty #cod:mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #john soap mactavish #captain john price #simon ghost riley #alex keller #farah karim #cod #alejandro vargas #valeria garza #rudolfo parra #fandom #tw vent #celena.rambles

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floralbotanistshyperfixation · 8 months

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I've been having thoughts about the whole usage of names since it's been a whole thing that's getting talked about lately. Doing this under a cut for the sake of potential spoilers, and also because I'm probably gonna ramble and not quite make sense.

The usage of names to differentiate the Mikes makes sense, it's easier to know which one you're talking about when we have Mikey, Mike, MW, and Michael. There was the instance where we had their names and then the numbers but that was a very confusing and very specific situation they got number designations in. Then there's Mdawg. That name feels like a way to be set apart from the other Mikes. It just feels different. And then Mikey has that whole moment of asking to not be called that because it's not him, it's not his name, even if he has been consolidated with an Mdawg. But it still gets used against him. And I loved how that scene played out but it struck me in a way I wasn't prepared for. Because I've been there. I've had my name weaponized against me. It was something he had a lot of feelings about and it was twisted against him and that panic and fear in that moment was so familiar to me and it's been driving me insane since. The intentional usage of a name to get a specific reaction or point across is very underhanded but there is also a certain power to it. And it's powerful especially if you've put importance on names and nicknames and have that tied to your sense of self. It was a very good scene and my thoughts have been plaguing me ever since so I had to put them somewhere.

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goldnrry · 2 years

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This photo is driving mw insane because it reminds me of this little artist with an ugly moustache that had a song trending on tiktok but I can’t remember his name

I was sure it was the coffe so g but I don’t think it is

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boethiah · 3 years

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Okay this made me think of something that drives me insane, where one of Those ESO fans claimed it was unfair to ask people to know about any MW lore bc mw as a game tends to be very inaccessible to autistic/adhd people and. Maybe that's true but i think they've forgotten A Very Important Aspect of autism/adhd

i won’t comment on this as i’m allistic but vivi @mistressdratha made a very good point of like. what’s more accessible. an old moddable game that you purchase once, or a massive eso that requires either a serious gaming computer or a console to play + online subscriptions + continuous purchase of dlcs and chapters to keep up with content. and not to mention the time requirements and the social requirements to get all the content?

like i drop in and out of eso but most of the time my dropouts are due to monetary + time constraints as i’m a student and sometimes the $20/month for a ps+ sub is prohibitive. i usually play chapters months after their release because the cost of one chapter is literally a week’s worth of food for me. but tes3? you pay $10 for tes3 once and get to be obnoxious for the rest of your life

#also i'm not poor by any means (if i was i wouldn't have picked up eso in the first place lol)#i just would rather spend my income on like. any other hobby that doesn't piss me off and make me feel bad

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im-immortal · 3 years

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4, 6, 8, 23 and 24. I'm greedy today!

4) favorite character you’ve written

This is tough because I really love writing Merle... but I’d have to say Papa Legba just because it was really fun to make him into this centuries-old demon and kinda play with his appearance and presence.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Oh fuck. Ok so I try not to think about this too much because it would drive me insane... but there are countless things in MW that I would’ve done differently. Mostly minor details. Those will be things I fix in the original rewrite 😏

8) favorite genre to write

ANGST ANGST ANGST. and then humor.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

So here’s the thing... I feel like ALL life experiences help your writing. Especially for me. I’m very observant and I like to take mental notes of things. So I can’t say I could pin down one particular experience because there are just so many and Idk what would be defined as obscure, really??? My answer for this sucks but it’s just so difficult to explain lol

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

I wouldn’t say I’m an expert in literally anything. At all. Ever. But I’ve definitely done way too much research on things like how long it takes for a body to decompose.. I guess I’ve become a bit of an expert in Georgia geography even though I have yet to visit the actual state LOL

Ok actually.. I learned a lot about meth production for MW. Needed to do some research on things like how to hide it from police, etc. So... there’s that? Lmao

#ask the author

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tara-l-blackmore · 4 years

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The MWS Unit (or Iso)

Here's the thing about it.

I spent months upon months petrified of this experience. I would find myself suddenly scream-crying in my shower, so certain this would be one of the very last times I'll ever shower in my own house. I would look at Milo and just grab him and hug him, soak him in my tears and make him squirm away and wonder why I had suddenly lost my mind, because I was certain he would die before I could be freed.

I would log on to social media and stare paralysed at a screen of emails and messages, asking me how I was, and all I could think of was that if I never replied again, what would happen? If I lost them, if I could never get out, would they understand, would they not hate me for it? Or would they think I’d abandoned them, and hate me forever for it? And I could never ask, because I was too afraid of the answer, despite knowing how kind those few people are.

The worst was the fear over Terry.

He did nothing to stir it, to worsen it. He did everything in his power to steer my fragile mind away from that horror. But it didn't matter. It just didn't matter.

I stayed awake at night, staring at the ceiling, holding him and listening to his stupid obnoxious snoring and cry silently, wondering if I would regret hating that annoying nasally sound. I would watch the door close every morning, and dread that I would lose him on the other side of it, while I was trapped and not even able to escape to help him, to save him, to… to at least…

I was certain everyone would forget about me, that the time limit I was given was a lie to keep me calm, and that I would never, ever be released from that place, again. I had built up this place like it would be the insane asylum of all of my literary heroes, and I was just following them – and all without the being an author part. I would have a room of my own – forever.

So you could imagine my surprise when, the moment I walked into a room that had likely seen countless deaths, suicides, code blues, etc., and I sensed… none of it. I walked into that small room and felt absolutely nothing.

Let me back track a bit more.

While preparing for the time to get there, I realised something that had never happened before: I couldn't visualise or see it. Whenever I’m bound for some sort of adventure of some kind, good or bad, I can always picture it in advance. The majority of times, I’m wrong, but I can still see something.

But for iso, I saw absolutely nothing. And it terrified me, to the point of being certain that it meant I either wouldn't live to see it – or would die while there.

My fears grew. I became distant. I knew I could only depend on perhaps two or three people, and yet I still tried not to. I yearned to depend on others, only to be greeted with silence and apathy. My mentality worsened, I was certain this meant the end, and I started crying, every day, no matter what. I tried to do it alone, but usually failed – especially if Terry was there beside me.

But he wouldn't be – no one would be – and I was terrified. No one was allowed to visit, to even drop things off for me, and I was terrified of being abandoned there, whether it be left there forever, or come out of there with nothing and no one left.

I was so certain that this blind spot meant that it was the end, and nothing mattered, anymore.

But instead of saying any of it, all I did was just… pretend I was fine.

We woke up at 6, and I started shaking right away. I thought it was just because I was starting withdrawal, or I was overtired, but I actually did manage to sleep rather well the night before – Terry appropriately wore me out – but the second I got into the shower, I knew better: it was fear.

Was this the last time I’d ever see this place? That was my only thought, with everything I did.

Until, finally, it was time to go.

I'd been fully packed for two weeks, as they warned us to be ready for a 24-hour notice. And we got it. So it was easy to drag my stuff down to the garage.

I cried the entire time, trying to stop, trying to be strong for Terry, but I failed, and he was strong for me. The drive was quiet, full of silent tears and sips of cold coffee, but we got there early.

We spent the early half-hour in each other's arms. Now that we were there, it felt real, it felt true, and I was paralysed with fear. Again, Terry was the strong one – until finally, they sent someone down, and it was time to go.

We hugged, I cried, I think he might have teared up a little, and then we kissed and said goodbye – and see you next week.

Then, I was led away, and the doors closed.

The lady was kind, carrying the things I could not and welcoming me here. I was warned, however, that there was a fire drill going on, so there would be an hour delay in my check-in. This was bad news, as I was already feeling absolutely terrible.

Or so I thought.

But I smiled and nodded and let her lead me into the kitchen/common room, to wait for it to be over.

That's where I met J. He greeted me and was friendly, asked if I wanted food, and asked how long I was going to stay. I was shaking the whole time – he was a tall white man, and they sometimes make me nervous – but he did nothing to send my alarm bells off – not even when he mentioned being in jail.

“What're you here for? Alcohol?” he asked me.

“No; pain and opiate control,” I confessed.

i made a small joke, then, and to my surprise, it made him guffaw.

“Well, Tara, I hope you like it here,” he concluded. “It's really good.”

“I can see that,” I agreed, and he left.

I waited a bit more, bored and feeling gross, until I was found again and taken to the doctor.

I was weighed, measured, and photographed, given a keycard necklace to wear at all times, and then they took both blood and urine. I then spoke to the doctor – Dr F – about what I hoped to achieve while there.

“I'm not expecting a miracle,” I muttered, starting to feel sick. “I just want to be a housewife. I want to go see my niece and not want to die from pain after.” I met his gaze. “I want to see her at least graduate elementary school.”

He took me seriously, and no doctor had ever done that, before. He named my condition “suffering”, and for the first time, I realised that this was true. And I cried, shocked that someone I just met had more compassion than people I’d known for decades.

“Most of all,” I choked out, “I just want to make my husband happy.”

“I’m sure he wants the same for you,” Dr F agreed, “and part of that is to ease your suffering.”

Needless to say, it was a very emotional interview.

I was then led to my room – and surrendered my suitcase. I came prepared for it, aware that a lot would be taken away, and I was right. They took three freezer bags of stuff I was not allowed to be alone with – including my perfume! – but whatever.

After, I spent a brief moment of quiet putting things away, feeling the bad feelings increase but still having hope that I would spend the worst moments distracted at the desk they offered or curled up at the chair with books.

I was so wrong.

The rest of the day was a blur, because it got repetitive. I had to repeat everything at least four times, and by the end, I was exhausted.

But by then, I was ready to start.

At first, it was okay. I felt gross, but assured that the meds now inside me would ease that gross, and I would feel better in mere hours.

Instead, it initiated a five-day long stupor of pain, vomit, sobbing, and repeat, followed by exhausted or sedated sleeps and sobbing into pillow cases, my body too weak to even sit at the chair to do anything. I had to drag myself with my walker simply to see. Everything hurt.

But I kept breathing.

It was hard to do just that.

Withdrawal makes you think you are dying. It robs your muscles of blood, of air, and it makes your stomach curdle and turn on itself. It makes food taste like ash, pieces no bigger than pencil erasers creating constant choking hazards, and it makes your dreams turn to nightmares of that so-certain impending death.

Every night, I sobbed myself to sleep. Every morning, my body woke me with trembled and heaves and cold sweats and crying, crying, crying…

I fasted. I needed phosphates. I slept through all the activities I’d hoped to go to.

My only defence was sleep or tears. I tried to watch shows or answer emails or even talk on Discord, but nothing came out. Nothing could come out.

Because while everything felt horrible and awful physically, mentally I was… fine. I did have bad dreams, but they vanished the second I awoke bathed in sweat to heave. I didn't hallucinate. I didn't have flashbacks. I didn't even faint.

I was just very sick and ill, and reluctant to share it with anyone, even the people I knew I could trust.

Until my fifth day, I was trapped in this endless cycle of illness. Nothing mattered. Nothing existed. I realised way too late that one of the other chicks stuck with me was flirting with me, crying too hard to realise it (probably a good thing). All I could do was push myself with my walker from room to nursing station, crying, then back, again.

The night of the fourth day was the first time I wondered if I should try to shower. I even asked, and even though I was advised not to, I wanted to, anyway. But when I tried, I didn't make it. My soap did – I threw it across the room – but I did not.

The fifth day, however, was one that woke with heaving, as usual – but there was a finite quality to it, a strange kind of calm that followed it, and I wondered. The whole day, I watched myself, and I found myself sitting at that desk, writing one of the prompts in a prompt book I wrote. Then I laid back down and fell asleep.

The new meds had finally begun to work.

Because when I woke next, I was able to eat a little. And then after, I managed a sit-down shower. I cried the entire time, and after, so proud of myself, and I felt like a human, again. It was the first time I wanted to pick up my phone, but sadly, when I tried to speak, I again choked up and hid away.

Days six and seven were much the same: I awoke sick, was given meds, and when I was calm, I snacked on vegetable cheese crackers that I brought with me, finally able to stomach small amounts of solid – if very masticated – food. I spent the days watching Netflix or reading a book my mom bought for me – or sleeping.

Every day, I saw Dr F, who was dismayed by my lack of improvement until day six. When he saw me then, he was surprised by the change, and realised that maybe there is more to my suffering than wanting drugs. He even asked me how it felt.

“It doesn't make me high – I know what that feels like – but it makes me feel better,” I replied.

“Then it's working as it should,” he revealed.

And of course, I started to cry, and I was given my release date. I sobbed all the way to my room.

The last day – day seven – I was well enough to shower in the morning (though I did have to lie down for a while after, exhausted), as well as attempt to eat the food (fail). I then spent the day between packing up, going on a grounds walk and pet therapy (more on those in a second), and I even managed to listen to a small singing group (whose song made me cry and I had to run away).

First, the grounds walk. I missed all of the other ones, despite promising my mother that no matter what, I would get outside. But the one day I was up to it, it was raining. I was the only one who went, so it was a short jaunt, but so worth it to me. The air was cold and fresh, and the rain was like kissed on my hot, feverish face. I cried yet again, adding to it in my own way, and collected leaves, because I’m a witch.

Then, the pet therapy. I waited all week for this, and it was worth it. A woman came in with a rescued fawn greyhound, and I melted for her. She had past scars, but was so well-behaved and loving that you'd never know she was abused for sport. But near the end, I got too emotional, missing Nim, and I again ran away. I spent the rest of the night sneaking snacks around the entire place, because I didn't want to take them home.

The last morning finally arrived, and for a while, I didn't really believe it. I expected them to tell me I needed to stay longer. I distracted myself with an early shower; they said be out by 8 am, so I showered at 6 and was done by 7. This time, I laughed and cried.

After it was confirmed that I was going home, it again becomes a blur. They did repeat blood-work, sent my new prescription to my pharmacy (or tried to, but because the place is basically run by defective robots, there were issues), and was sent back downstairs.

Then… Terry was there. Holding me. Squeezing me. And crying, almost as hard as me.

He'd missed me. He said he did, hated being alone, but until then, I never believed it.

It changed something in me. It made me start to calm down about us, about how strong we are, together. I feel… well, it's hard to explain. But in any case, it's amazing.

We drove home, I posted some tweets, and I ate real food for the first time in 8 days – a poutine. We fought the pharmacy and won, then we just… hung out. Talked about it. Held each other into the night.

And in the morning, when Terry laid across my legs as usual, I knew my heart was home, and I wept. I knew I was safe, I was not alone. I knew I had to make hard decisions, now, things I never knew I had to do, but once I did, I was freer.

Once I stood on my balcony, the wind in my hair and the chill up my robes, I knew: my new life has finally begun.

I fought with all I could.

And for the first time, when I needed to the most, I won.

I won.

#health #iso #MWS #MWSU #omoni & caster

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noelpinnock1 · 4 years

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“Into the Unknown! – Part I”

Author Noel Pinnock, B.S., M.P.A., C.A., CCC

www.noelpinnock.com

Merriam-Webster (MW) defines “mind,” in the noun tense, as the element or complex of elements in an individual that feels, perceives, thinks, wills, and reason. Furthermore, MW defines “set” as to put, lay, or stand (something) in a specified place or position. When you concatenate these words, we arrive at mindset. This compound word is so powerful that it can drive countries as well as individuals, alike, into mass turmoil or elevate them to great prosperity. The interesting thing about mindset is that it vacillates because its nature is predicated on situations and circumstances. We all have internal processes that govern our growth and development. Some may have a fixed mindset; therefore, growth and development can be limited. While others have a learning mindset and adjustments are made along our life’s journey. Whether fixed or learning, a mindset is a set of assumptions, methods, or notations held by one or more people or groups of people and can also be seen as arising out of a person's world view or philosophy of life. Our mindset or logic box is our collection of knowledge, attitudes, skills, and habits (KASH) that often limit our perception and acts as a restriction on objective thought and creative expression. What is in your mindset? What are your views and perspectives that have eroded some of your best intentions with unintended consequences?

In 1972, one of the best-known slogans in public-service was “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” The United Negro College Fund ran this slogan in print, radio, and television as an intentional campaign to close a persistent gap between African Americans and other groups in college completion. They understood then as we know today that in a land that is constantly going through entropy only the learned will survive. We can no longer rest on the scaffold of mediocrity and not take the leap into the unknown.

The animated movie Frozen 2 was a mega-billion dollar hit at the box office and the soundtrack was equally successful on the music charts. One song, most notably, Into the Unknown, aligns with the perspectives of this article, in huge part because we fear what we don’t know, and many don’t ever like asking questions because it will make others believe that we don’t know thus the paradox. Check out the first to verses of the song:

“I can hear you but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away.

You're not a voice, you're just a ringing in my ear And if I heard you, which I don't, I'm spoken for I fear Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you”

These words are very powerful for a seminal audience to comprehend but if you dissect its meaning, you will understand the humanistic nature of individuals whose mindset has been hindered or restricted because they don’t want to leave the porch, get out of the boat, or take the leap into the unknown. The unknown is scary and unpredictable. It isn’t something that we are used to. We prefer routine and certainty but as I have always told my staff, certainty is the enemy and uncertainty an ally. Our 10-year old daughter sang this song so much during the Frozen 2’s hey-day that I became so curious that I woke one early Saturday morning to watch it for myself.

The movie’s plot was rich, and it captivated me. Elsa the Snow Queen has an extraordinary gift -- the power to create ice and snow. But no matter how happy she is to be surrounded by the people of Arendelle, Elsa finds herself strangely unsettled. After hearing a mysterious voice call out to her, Elsa travels to the enchanted forests and dark seas beyond her kingdom -- an adventure that soon turns into a journey of self-discovery. Synoptically, Elsa discovers that the voice calling to her was the memory of young Iduna's call; that her powers were given to her by nature because of Iduna's selfless act of saving Agnarr; and that Elsa herself is the fifth spirit who would break the water dam that would save their kingdom.

You see, the voice calling Elsa (like you and me) into the unknown was challenging her mindset and comfort zone. She was doing just fine after Frozen 1 but there was an agitation that persisted and kept her up at night, trepidatious and reluctant to escape from the comfort the has confined her perspectives. We all get comfortable and enjoy what comfort brings. Many people see comfort as an adjective, describing an attribute or something, when, in fact, comfort is a noun.

Comfort enters your home as a guest, remains as your host, and will eventually become your master. Comfort is a silent killer and has been charged with homicides in careers, families, marriages, and almost every place imaginable where growth and development are quintessential factors to success. Our limited KASH affects our ability to create or solve problems in two important ways: it heavily influences the kind of opportunities or problems that we recognize as being important enough to create (opportunities) and/or solve (problems); and it influences the analysis of the potential (opportunities) and cause (problems) and therefore the proper course of action to maximize the opportunities in life or to minimize the duplication of problems that have been solved in our past. What’s the definition of insanity? There, you got it, doing the same thing while expecting different results or better yet…being fearful of entering the unknown.

Our mindset should be challenged. We should have a desire to grow but that’s not innate in us. Physically speaking, our bodies do this on the regular. When we are hot, our bodies don’t sit there and internally combust. No, our bodies respond to the external stimuli by sweating to ensure we don’t overheat and dehydrate in the process. If the hairs in our nose tickle a bit, we sneeze. In other words, our bodies respond to external forces and are not going to be suppressed by anything.

Like our physical nature, our psyche (not psychic) nature, which comprises of our mind, will, and emotions should, like a thermostat, adjust to the external environment to maintain the proper climate in our lives. To do this we must be committed to the foundational premise of continuous learning and development. Without challenging ourselves, we subscribe to an internal newsletter whose content never changes. Imagine that, picking up a magazine and reading the same articles over and over again. Certainly, the cure to insomnia. So, if you want to challenge your mindset and are daring to enter the unknown to discover and unlock your internal talents and gifts, you must evict comfort because comfort is the enemy of change. Not to mention, we must dismiss the notion that nobody likes “change” but a wet baby.

Apostle Paul, whose mindset was drastically change on the Damascus Road, wrote that we are not to be conformed to the ways of the world but be transformed by the renewing of our minds or mindset. He realized, like we should, that transformation doesn’t end with age or experience, but it continues daily as we invent and reinvent ourselves. If you can agree with this, then you must establish parameters to keep your mind percolating and hungry for more.

Gertrude Ederle became the first woman to swim the English Channel in 1926, on her second attempt. 19-year-old Gertrude Ederle swam 21 miles from Dover, England, to Cape Griz-Nez across the English Channel, which separates Great Britain from the northwestern tip of France. On August 6, 1926, Ederle entered the water at Cape Gris-Nez in France at 7:08 a.m. to make her second attempt at the Channel. The water was predictably cold as she started out that morning, but unusually calm. Twice that day, however–at noon and 6 p.m.–Ederle encountered squalls along her route and Burgess urged her to end the swim. Ederle’s father and sister, though, who were riding in the boat along with Burgess, agreed with Ederle that she should stay the course. Ederle’s father had promised her a new roadster at the conclusion of the swim, and for added motivation he called out to her in the water to remind her that the roadster was only hers if she finished. Ederle persevered through storms and heavy swells, and, finally, at 9:04 p.m. after 14 hours and 31 minutes in the water, she reached the English coast, becoming the sixth person and first woman to swim the Channel successfully. Furthermore, she had bettered the previous record by two hours.

Afterwards, Ederle told Alec Rutherford of The New York Times, “I knew it could be done, it had to be done, and I did it.” She went on to say that she was successful the second time around, not because of the incentives outlined by her father but because she possessed a mindset that failure was not an option. She started the journey with intentionality to reaching the English coast. It was in her mind from the beginning even though she felt like giving up and her body became fatigued. She was set on not breaking the record but breaking up the comfort in her mindset that would oftentimes tell her she wasn’t capable, or the feat was impossible.

What has kept you anchored in a position of mediocrity? What has prevented you from going to the next level? I can guarantee you this…that something would be your mind. The richest place on the planet, found in every place across the globe, is the graveyard – filled with so many people who could have, would have, and should have, but for many (not all) were scared to enter the unknown. I am inspired by these words myself, and will likely archive this article because I, like you, will no longer be afraid to enter the unknown, because when we are there, we can unlock some of our life’s greatest experiences and moments. There I say again, let’s #getatit!

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murphystartedthefire · 6 years

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Hello!!! Hope you're feeling great! I was wondering if you hated echo or not? Because lots of people seem to hate her and i've seen you reblog (kind of) good things about her (?) Anyway I'm just curious because I see that everybody's hating on her and I feel like the only one who's given her the benefit of the doubt. What do you think? (if it's not too much to ask, of course) :)

I definitely don’t hate Echo, I like her! Always did actually, especially as she got more prominent in season 4, because I absolutely have A THING for ruthless female antagonists (as she largely was then) with glimmers of vulnerability and humanity. She’s been an intriguing and sympathetic character from day one IMO.

For a long time it was hard to figure out where the show was going with her – I’m still not 100% sure honestly – and whether she was a character we were ‘supposed’ to like or love-to-hate. (Another thing about me? I love a lot of “love-to-hate” female characters ON SPITE as well, so that wouldn’t have really made a difference.) But for me, the episode where she stabbed Octavia was a turning point, and not in the way a lot of people who hate her think it was… I LOVED her reaction in that moment, ridiculous panda makeup and all. How clearly it was not her plan (she really wanted to take her prisoner and not have to kill her) and how much she instantly regretted it. The following episode too is a really big one for her and Bellamy, where she actually listens to him and takes onboard what he’s saying and refrains from killing Riley (of all people! do you know HOW EASILY i would’ve killed Riley lol). We’ve seen cracks in her stoic armor for a while and that’s something I enjoy in a character.

Idk, I guess what I’m saying is we already *saw* Echo was undergoing a change, questioning the merciless soldier she’d always been, and that only got more extreme by the end of the season when she was left without a king or people to serve anymore. Finding herself rejected and banished, even though in her eyes everything she’d done had been for them and therefore justified. And then she becomes this sad little fish-out-of-water on the rocket. I was not just ready to root for her this season, I was ALREADY rooting for her. :p

And yeah, at least a small part of that is on spite now, because the hate she’s getting is SO excessive that it makes me extra-defensive where I otherwise might’ve been like “whatever, I’m ambivalent about her.” I’d be stunned if they weren’t setting up Bellamy/Echo as a Doomed Ship and I’m not sure they’re even *trying* really to get the audience onboard with it, but at the same time it was pretty obvious that’s been building for a while and it makes absolute sense to me that those characters would find solace & forgiveness in each other once they were no longer living at war.

I’ve got TV trust issues and am allergic to even implied love triangles, so my main concern has ALWAYS been that the show is actually kind of poking the fanbase and setting Echo up to be vilified/hated. Which would be incredibly gross and if it led to something like her being killed by one of the heroes (ESPECIALLY Bellamy himself) I would be beyond furious.

My concern about that hasn’t dropped to zero, but I do like what we’ve seen so far. Particularly in the last ep, the sincerity and compassion from her both in not wanting Bellamy, Monty, and Harper to die for her and not wanting to betray the innocent redshirts – while at the same time pulling that YIKES move of using that girl’s bullet wound to hide the flash drive and looking so proud of herself. She hasn’t become a totally different person but instead is using the same resourcefulness and loyalty she always had and I FOR ONE DIG IT. (Also bird noises! God I want more Murphy & Echo.) Basically I am really psyched to see where this Eligius spy storyline goes and get some more scenes of her with Raven and the others from spacekru, my favorite kru that has ever existed.

Thanks for the ask!

P.S. To the other anon - I reeeeally don’t wanna get into the whole ship war thing, but HELL YES panicky Bellamy tripping over his “I can come get you in the rover” words and Echo making reference to the MW cages made me weak. I’m glad we got some onscreen intimacy between them. This was a good week for all my unpopular ships (even Niylarke even if she’s a Little Bit Insane now).

#becho #echo kom azgeda #echo no (echo yes)#meta #...not really but a long text post so i might as well put it in my text tag

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incorrectdeceptionquotes · 6 years

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A Bundle of Secrets Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kay lowered her gun, she knew that Jonathan wasn’t much of a physical threat, “Jonathan, what are you doing here? How are you here?”

Jonathan gulped, “I didn’t think anyone would be here.”

Cameron frowned, “Why? Because you thought no one would figure out I wasn’t you?”

“No, I knew someone would figure it out eventually but I didn’t think you’d be here... with baby supplies... and a baby. You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Cameron seemed to contemplate even telling Jonathan the truth, he wasn’t sure if it would be a good idea until Kay turned to face with a look on her face as if she was saying ‘tell him’. Cameron motioned for Jonathan to sit on the couch. Jonathan sat down as Cameron and Kay sat across from him. Cameron adjusted Farrah to face Johnny, “This... is Farrah. She’s... our niece.”

Jonathan blinked, “I’m sorry. Our niece? She could either my niece or yours. Her being ours is... T-that’s... that’s impossible.”

“I thought nothing was impossible.” Kay remarked. She couldn’t help being a bit angry with him, not just because of what he said to her but because of what he did to Cameron.

Cameron didn’t notice Kay’s tone, “She’s not either of ours. She’s our sister’s”

Jonathan’s eyes widened, “S-sister?” He shook his head, “We don’t have a sister.”

“Not anymore...” Cameron said, “Her name was Fiona.”

“Was?” Jonathan asked. Cameron felt that he wasn’t able to speak. Kay placed her hand on his, which didn’t go unnoticed by Jonathan, “Cameron. What do you mean by was?”

“She was killed this morning... gunshot to the head. She hid her baby... then I found her at the scene”

Jonathan didn’t know what to say, “She... we... had a sister?”

“According to DNA, she was our half-sister.”

Kay spoke up, “Apparently, the three of you shared the same father.”

“Wait... how old was she?” Jonathan asked looking like he was recalling something.

Kay furrowed her eyebrows, “Uh, twenty-six years old. Why?”

Cameron narrowed his eyes, “Yeah Johnny. Why?”

Twenty-five and a half years ago...

“You did well tonight, boys” Sebastian Black said as he, Cameron, and Jonathan entered their home. “Keep it up and one day, I might take you on tour with me.” Five-year-olds Cameron and Johnny looked at each other with glee at the prospect of being able to travel with their father. They weren’t yet aware of what he had planned for them. Sebastian was about to get something prepared for dinner when the doorbell rang. He told the twins to go to their room while he answered the door.

Cameron did as he was told and went into their room but Jonathan went to the banister to see what was going on. “Johnny?” Cameron quietly called out noticing his brother had left the room.

Johnny knelt by the staircase and noticed his father let in a dark-haired woman holding a baby carrier. At first, his father seemed happy to see the woman, almost like he was greeting a long lost friend until Sebastian Black saw the child. Jonathan couldn’t exactly make out what they were saying, just simple bits and pieces. “-is your daughter.” “Impossible- ... ... ... –cannot take care of some child.” “But I thought- ... –Sebastian, I want us to be a family!” Sebastian and the woman took the conversation in his office, leaving the baby alone. Little Johnny took this as an opportunity to take a closer look at the baby. The little baby grinned when she saw Jonathan.

Jonathan kneeled in front of the carrier and stuck his index finger out to see if she would take it. She did and gurgled a little causing little Jonathan to smile, “Hi... I think I’m your big brother.” The baby continued to gurgle as Johnny noticed her blue eyes matched his, “I think I will like being your big brother. Me and Cam will protect you.”

“Cameron!” Sebastian shouted, knowing full well he was speaking to Jonathan, “I thought I told you to go to your room...”

“I did but... I came out because I thought I heard a baby... and I did so I thought that maybe-”

“It doesn’t matter what you thought!” Sebastian yelled but then calmed down, “This child is of no concern to me”

The woman tried to interject, “But Sebastian, she’s your-”

“Leave.” He said coldly. “I never want to see you or that... baby again.”

“You once told me you wanted your family to be whole again after your wife passed... I think you’ll just end up ripping it into more pieces.” The woman said as she picked up her baby and started to leave. Before she went out the door, she turned to Jonathan, “I hope that you will be able to grow up and still remember that family means everything.” With that, she walked out the door. Leaving Jonathan just standing there, wondering if he’d ever see his sister again.

“Johnny?” Cameron called out.

“W-wha?” Jonathan said.

“You’ve been quiet for a little while” Kay replied, even she was concerned about him, “Why was Fiona’s age so important?”

“I-uh... I thought maybe I would know something if you did.” He lied. He took a good look at Farrah who was playing with Cam’s shirt sleeve. She looked exactly like her mother did as a baby, except for the brown eyes.

Cameron could tell Jonathan wasn’t telling him something but he didn’t want to push it, “What are you doing here Johnny?”

“I didn’t know where else to turn... I may have betrayed MW. By taking the flash drive that could exonerate me from the crime that I did not commit and I may have something useful that I can use against her.”

Cameron’s eyes widened, “What!? Are you insane?”

“Weren’t you? You betrayed her too and by extension, me by not giving her the Links Diamond.”

Kay became confused, “Cam? What is he talking about?”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow, “You still haven’t told her?”

Kay turned to Cameron, “Cameron? What is he mean? What haven’t you told me?”

Cameron turned to her and had a look in his eyes that Kay hadn’t seen before, “I... the reason I didn’t steal the Links Diamond... was you.”

Kay’s eyes widened, “Me?”

“I couldn’t go through with it because Jordan reminded me that if I did, you could lose your job and I couldn’t let that happen. Not because of me. You were the only person who believed me when I said I needed help and I didn’t want to lose your trust... I didn’t want to lose you...”

Kay just stared at him, “I don’t know if that’s incredibly sweet or... incredibly...”

“Stupid?” Jonathan interrupted. Farrah suddenly let out a burst of laughter making Jonathan smile, “See, the kid agrees with me.”

Cameron pursed his mouth, “You wanna hold her?” He said standing up, walking over to his brother.

Jonathan suddenly looked nervous, “Oh... geez, I don’t know Cam...”

“Come on, it not that hard, especially if you’re sitting down” Cameron smirked as he sat next to Jonathan and slowly passed Farrah over to him.

“I don’t think I have the right to...”

“Johnny, no matter what my feelings are towards you right now, you have the right to know your niece.”

Kay got up from her seat, “I think I’ll go make some coffee.”

Jonathan held Farrah underneath her arms having her stand upright on his legs, “She kinda feels like a sack of pudding.” He bounced her up and down slightly, “You’re just a little sack of pudding aren’t you?”

Cameron chuckled a bit, “I would say that she’s more of a little fairy.”

Farrah gurgled and giggled as she placed her tiny hands on Jonathan’s cheeks, “...What did you say our sister’s name was?”

“Fiona. Fiona Jonbroni. It seemed like she had her life more put together than we do.”

“How so?” Jonathan asked as he sat Farrah down on his lap.

“Well, she found someone that she could settle down with, got married, had a kid and lived in a seemly quiet life... until whatever she or her husband were into caught up with them.”

Farrah took hold of Jonathan’s index finger, causing Johnny to almost melt inside, “A-and this little lady’s name?”

Cameron smiled, “Farrah. Farrah Blanc.”

Jonathan looked down at the little girl who was looking up at him with big curious eyes, “Hi Farrah. I’m your Uncle Johnny. I think we’ll get along just fine.” Farrah gave a big smile, granted she had about four teeth but both Johnny and Cam found it totally adorable.

Kay came back with two cups of coffee in her hands and placed them on the glass table next to the forgotten pizza, “Here are two black coffees, and I think you guys might need the caffeine.”

“None for you Kay?” Cameron asked.

“I, uh... I think I should probably head out.”

“What?” Cameron said, nearly jumping out of his seat, “Why?”

“I just think that maybe it’d be best for you guys if I wasn’t here.”

“But we haven’t even eaten yet.”

Kay waved her hand, “It’s fine, I’ll just pick something up on my way home.”

“But how could invite into my home for dinner and then not give you dinner?”

Kay give a slight laugh, “I appreciate that Cameron but-”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Jonathan exclaimed, “Kay, if you wanna stay, then please. Stay. Cameron, if you want Kay to stay, tell her outright.” Jonathan then took a deep breath, “And Kay?” Kay looked at him, “I’m sorry for what I said. I was angry and I took it out on you even though, you really had done everything in your power to help us. To help me. I didn’t appreciate that and for that, I am truly sorry.”

Kay was speechless for a moment then composed herself, “Thank you Jonathan. I forgive you.”

Jonathan smiled, “Cam was right. You are one of the good ones.”

She smirked, “I still don’t trust you though”

“Fair enough.”

The rest of the night went on as the three ate pizza, talked about how they were going go about bringing Jonathan back into the picture without having to put him back in prison where he doesn’t belong. They all eventually fell asleep. Farrah fell back asleep in her playpen after Jonathan put her back in and Jonathan just kind of crashed on the chair next to the playpen. Cameron and Kay both ended up crashing on the couch but what started out as Kay just leaning her head on Cameron’s shoulder ended with her hand on his chest, just above his heart, with his hand on hers and his head resting on hers. Morning would come too soon and with it... a whole new set of problems...

Alright! And after five chapters... only one day has passed in the story! Feels like a lot longer doesn’t it? Johnny now officially back and he is back to stay... or is he? I’m just kidding! ...Or am I? Anyways, I hoped you guys enjoy this chapter and I hope you will join me for the next.

#deception #deception abc #deception fanfiction #savedeception #renewdeception #cameron black #kay daniels #jonathan black #kaymeron #a bundle of secrets

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ericahitshawaii · 4 years

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Destruction breeds creation

Today was my scheduled “lazy day,” so for me that meant a maximum of two activities! :) Today’s main activity was to check out a black sand beach and thermal pools. The newest black sand beach on the island born out of the 2018 eruption of Kilauea.

So the one thing about solo travel that can be great and hard at the same time...you can do things really efficiently when there is only one person calling the shots. The downside of that, is I haven’t stopped running since I got here. No one to slow me down with lolligagging. So a of today, I am EXHAUSTED. Luckily, I had the gift of rain to slow mw down. I slept in, which was AMAZING! Sleep has been questionable at best since I arrived.. Remember how cute I thought the wild chickens and roosters were when I first arrived. They are no longer charming. Roosters are the worst. I’m not sure what time they think sunrise is, but I promise you, it is not 3am. I have had rude awakening every morning since I’ve been here at approximately 3am. I hate roosters. For real.

Also, I am not naturally in shape. So the amount of physical activity that I would normally do is walk from the couch to the kitchen. This is a bit of a shock to my system. All this to say, I slept in today, drank a bunch of coffee, got caught up on my blogging and hung out under a shady, dry tree for the morning and waited out the rain.

Once the rain finally cleared up, I made myself a picnic lunch and headed to the black sand beach at Isaac Hale Park called Pohoiki.

I was excited to check out this amazing phenomenon of a black sand beach. Hawaii h as many because they are born from lava rock/ Lava is something Hawaii is not in short supply of. But one of the magical part of checking out the beach was actually the drive to the beach. Until very recently the beach was inaccessible. After the 2018 eruption part of the road were blocked by cooled lava flows. There is only one route to the beach, which lies on the the southeast corner of the island. This part of the island is in an amazing rainforest climate zone. As soon as I turned of the road onto the windy two lane highway, I knew I was entering a different world. I know can see why much of Jurassic Park was filmed in Hawaii (Most on the island of Kauai however). It had some insane Jurassic size ferns and creepy giant rainforest trees. The whole time I wase expecting a Velociraptor to jump out at any moment. “Clever girl...” No dinosaurs attacked, thank goodness, but it was still a wild and picturesque ride.

Hwy 137, Jurassic style.

The recently cleared road to the beach. You can really see the size of the lava flow from this viewpoint.

If I haven’t already mentioned this, driving in Hawaii is not for the faint of heart. I may have just been accidentally inducted into rally car, offroad racing. Not by choice, by the way. I have now become an unwanted expert on driving on crazy winding, hilly, cliffhanging roads in the rain blinding sunlight and pitch darkness. After having sworn to never do anything again like driving route 1 in California, here I am again. It’s strange how I’ve actually gotten pretty used to it at this point. Although I won’t complain to be on less cliff hanging roads upon my return. Anyway...I digress... back to the beach.

Before the 2018 Kilauea eruption, the Poholiki beach was know for the large park leading to the beachfront and a boat launch into the ocean. It was a popular spot for surfers. The lava flow during the eruption ran through part of the park (narrowly missing complete destruction), cutting it off from the ocean and emptied into the sea. What came from this is the newest black sand beach on the island. What causes a black sand beach to form, you ask? Well, when hot lava hits the cool water it explodes (similar to glass shattering) into tiny pieces. Eventually the waves erodes the small rocks into fine sand, which creates black sand beaches. All black sand beaches were once hot lava that flowed into the ocean.

This beach really demonstrated to me the destructive power of a volcano.When pulled into the parking lot for the Isaac Hale Beach Park it was literally a ghost town. What was once a lovely park with picnic tables and BBQs that faced out into the ocean is now...a lovely park that faces a giant wall of lava. The park has no more access to the sea. It was however, a great spot to stop and have a picnic lunch with absolutely NO ONE around.

My complete lonely Kia Rio in the abandoned parking lot of Issac Hale Park.

View of the park, looking out toward the ocean, which is now completely obscured by the lava flow.

I headed further down the road to the beach. It was interesting to see that the

beach is still forming. Closer to the water there were finer grains of black sand, although still more pebbles than sand. But walking up to the beach there were still large boulders of hardened lava.

What was once the boat launch is now a boat launch to nowhere. Or maybe more a accurately, ,a boat launch to an enclosed thermal pool. The shattered lava now blocks access to the ocean from the dock and the boat launch. However destruction breeds life. Along the new beach there are several pools of warm thermal water that are heated from the hotspot under the island. The former boat launch is now a thermal pool and several other areas cut off from the ocean are thermal pools as well..

Thermal pool I swam in.

Boat launch to nowhere. Now completely cut off from the ocean by the newly formed black sand.It’s now a thermal pool.

I could not pass up the chance to wade in this geological marvel. It was absolutely incredible. As I entered the wate it started to rain, the perfect time to wade into a warm pool. It was about the temperature of warm bath water, not hot, just warm. I waded over to the rocks of the lava flow. They were still warm to the touch. I learned at Volcanoes National Park that lava can take as many as four years o fully cool.

Its hard to imagine that this was once molten lava destroying everything in its path. On other places on the island there are entire beaches, roads and buildings that were forever engulfed by the lava. In the eruption, over 700 houses were lost. It’s one of nature’s most impressive and terrifying forces.

Photograph taken from a drone of the lava flow that now covers a large part of Issac Hale Park and the Pohoiki Beach. The pond looking thing is the thermal pool I was swimming in.

Next up: Last full day in Hawai’i :(

Kayaking the Kahulo Ditch

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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January 3: The 100 2x08 Spacewalker

Spacewalker is probably a bad episode to watch when I’m feeling sad like this but... what can you do? (I’d say ‘skip the episode’ but I mean... it never gets cheerier so.)

The Grounders as a whole don’t intimidate me at all since I’ve seen their ineptitude too many times but I will never be over those costumes/masks.

See okay this Finn thing... On the one hand (I know I’ve said all this before), Raven is right that asking for Finn in exchange for a truce isn’t an offer. The offer has already been made. Clarke made it. The Reaper cure for backing the army away/maybe even forming an alliance. (This is a win-win-win for the Grounders btw: the war they’re so intent on fighting has no clear cause or purpose, so they lose nothing by just forgetting about it, and they gain a lot from the Reaper cure and anti-MW allies.) And Lexa accepts that offer, but then when she gets what she wants she demands more. I recognize that she is in a position of power and Clarke one of weakness, but I still think her attitude is dishonorable and bad faith and it pisses me off.

BUT I also don’t think that it’s inherently wrong for Finn to be punished by the Grounders for a crime against Grounders. I think their method of justice and punishment is bad but this isn’t actually a “Blood must have blood” scenario. It’s more like... how societies operate now? Because it’s, you know, pretty reasonable? Like if I went to France and killed someone, you can bet I’d be tried and imprisoned in France. So it’s really not, as Bellamy says, “insane.” (But then of course they have no concept of international law because they have never known any other ‘nation’ before so I guess..IC??)

Similarly, if the Grounders committed crimes against Arkadians, it would be fair for the Arkadians to punish them. (And I’d like to say ‘and they would and wouldn’t think twice’ but then I remember Ilian in S4 and just....ugh.....) (They should have killed him is what I’m saying.)

BUT it’s also gauche that Finn’s people are so quick to just hand him over. Unsurprising--from a world-building perspective I appreciate when the delinquents are considered nobodies, as they should be--but gauche.

Clarke always wants to save everyone, to find solutions to everything. Promise first, figure out the details later.

Also love Bellamy in the background pushing people away from Raven and trying to diffuse the situation, too.

“You’re running fluid dynamic specs while we’re having sex” is honestly such a self-burn though? Like if that’s what she’s doing, the sex isn’t good.

I love the set of Raven’s room. Whenever I picture the Ark, I always blur the details but these spaces are so cool. Hers looks basically like a mechanic’s workshop.

Every SINGLE time I see one of Finn’s pieces of metalwork art I think about that post laying out how Finn/Murphy could have been a thing and I just physically can’t stand it it made so much sense.

Speak of the devil.

All these people have their issues with Finn but when it’s time to protect one of their own (one of t100) they are all in. Like literally they are willing to turn Alpha Station into a fortress for one person.

And like honestly turning on Murphy though? I guess I understand it if we’re willing to say they were truly Finn’s friends, and given that Murphy uh killed some people and tried to kill Bellamy but--I never got the impression that Bellamy liked Finn and Clarke has many reasons to be upset with him. But I guess people are just like this: good at compartmentalizing. Murphy is just an easier target for anger right now, and you can’t be second guessing your defense of Finn when there’s literally a whole village of warriors out to get him. I guess from Clarke it’s a practical position, which she’s very good at. In a way perhaps... she is more practical than strictly loyal?

And Murphy always available to tell unvarnished truths. (That Finn was looking for Clarke isn’t relevant to blame or morality--it doesn’t make it her fault--but it does go to the heart of why she’s looking for scapegoats.)

I agree with Lincoln, obviously, over Octavia: Lxa would 1000% sacrifice one of her own in Clarke’s position, no question. Because she’s cold, but also it’s tactically and arguably morally the right thing to do. Lxa’s positions are often black and white--so are everyone’s--but O’s are like downright naive. (”She can’t ask us to hand over one of our own! Would she do that??”)

I can’t believe Clarke is so shocked that Lincoln would turn on Finn. Oh yeah this guy who was nice to him once but subsequently massacred his village? Yeah, they’re not friends anymore lol.

I feel like I didn’t have much sympathy toward this when I first watched it but I do like Lincoln’s line “We all have a monster inside of us. We’re all responsible for what it does when we let it out.” I think I disliked it because it made me uncomfortable tbh. (What still makes me uncomfortable is how much blame Lincoln gets, from the narrative, for actions he took when he really wasn’t in his right mind. Like... yes it was still him and something to live with, but he wasn’t just an addict, he was made an addict through torture by an enemy... seems perhaps a situation where more slack is warranted. Anyway.)

That said the Grounder torture machine is just...... leave me alone, I don’t need this gratuitous violence. I’m neither shocked nor impressed.

What they should have done was try Finn initially themselves because while I do stand by everything I said about facing Grounder punishment for crimes against Grounders, by the standards of his people, that torture is itself a moral wrong. And that’s reason to refuse extradition. But you can’t take the high ground about acceptable punishments when you let a war crime go with a ‘well, we don’t have a judiciary so I guess you’re pardoned?? idk??’

Another thing that I wish Clarke or someone had mentioned is that “He must suffer the pain of 18 deaths. Then we can have peace” may not be true at all because L has already shown that she does not act in good faith. There is every chance Clarke will hand over Finn, he’ll be tortured and killed, and then L will say “I also want [x arbitrary number] of your people as penance for frying my warriors” or “I also want access to your magical ship because I said so” or “I also want you to do a song and dance for me because it would be funny”--and she can say this because she has this army. And if Clarke says no at any point in the long litany of requests, L can just send the army in. She’s made no gestures of good will at all. So it would be nice if someone showed some skepticism about what good handing over Finn would really do--based on what they know at this point in the narrative.

Abby versus Jaha: I’m with Jaha not because I really agree with him--this is the period where he’s pissing me off--but because Abby taking the high ground is just so......... I mean yeah when it suits her?? I’m not sending a child to his death bitch please you already did that.

Clarke was legitimately disgusted by Finn just like 1-2 eps ago and now she’s ready with the excuses? It’s too much. I semi-understand her, as I said before re: compartmentalizing, but also I expect better from her. He wasn’t trying to look for anyone or save anyone; he was off his nut in a rage.

That love confession is so manipulative. And so weird... I mean he obviously doesn’t love her lol. But then again I always complain about these characters not acting like teenagers and then whenever one does I’m like “stop being so unreasonable CHILD.”

And Clarke with the awkward ‘mmm just gonna ignore you said stuff about love and forgiveness.’

Love the Griffin / Blake power walk.

This was back when I was still invested in Kabby (I loved them up until the moment they got together, then my interest level plummeted tbqh.) Kane’s return with such like off-center romance.

Legit question but considering the pretty amazing defensive structure they have in Alpha Station plus their guns and, like, General Technology... could they have won a battle? All of the negotiations, private and public, rely on the assumption that they could not but... I mean the 100 won at the end of S1 with, arguably, less.

I love that you can see the trees through the windows of the Ark, and some of the trees are coming in.

“I wasn’t a prisoner, but I wasn’t allowed outside either.” So.... you were a prisoner?

Abby, Kane, and Marcus are one fucked up trio. “The former Chancellor is being detained for treason.” Aka disagreeing with Abby. Kane: wide-eyed wtf??? Abby: oh and btw I’m keeping this job for as long as I feel like it; who’s the chancellor now bitch? Like power’s just a hot potato they throw among the three of them.

I do not at all believe L would actually agree to letting the Ark prosecute and execute Finn as a sufficient fulfillment of their end of any bargain. I think that would be a smart compromise but I don’t believe it of her tbqh. Still it is a best case scenario and Abby putting up her nose at the possibility of Finn being guilty of “war crimes” (which like he definitely is???) (except in the sense that there’s probably no real ‘rule of war’ in this universe and thus ‘war crimes’ is impossible to define but other than that...)--just drives me nuts.

I know I’m saying a lot of inconsistent things--that I think Finn should be punished but that I also think Grounder “justice” is gross and immoral and L is inherently untrustworthy--but basically it comes down to: they keep talking in terms of practicality, and no one is bringing up the moral dimension. Does he deserve to be punished in some way by some one for massacring 18 innocent civilians? Because I think just about anyone with any sort of moral dignity would say yes.

Anyway Raven’s really hot.

Really wish there’d been more a sense of where the delinquents are versus the main population. They only seem to use the majority of the Arkers when they need some conflict or some extras, but they don’t have, like, a real or consistent pov.

We NEEDED those Kane & Lxa scenes honestly. He keeps on saying things like “I spent time with her” and “I know her” and “she’s a visionary” but I’m gonna be honest I saw 0 visionary qualities in her, I legit do not get this, and you can’t say shit like this without backing it up. Like is she a “visionary” for keep them alive this long or is she just being reasonably intelligent by attempting to extract as much as she can from them, knowing she could kill them at any time? I mean her calculations are pretty easy as long as she has no honor--which she doesn’t--so I don’t see anything visionary or remarkable, even, about it. If she had to decide whether or not to accept non-torture punishment for Finn, that might be somewhat harder--but even then, nothing like what Abby, Clarke, et.al. are going through. She could prob. just lie and say she saw them torture Finn and now he’s dead (even if he weren’t even dead lol) and get away with it since she’s such a good liar generally and has no qualms about it.

What about anything she has experienced here makes Abby think that “showing Indra she understands her pain” will do literally anything?

I actually think Finn’s desire not to shoot that Grounder when he could, and would have had some reason to, is interesting--like he really did snap at the beginning of the season, and now he’s more “himself” again. I know this whole story line was devised to get him off the show but it actually could have, hypothetically, been a good exploration of living with long-term guilt, integrating a part of yourself you didn’t think existed into your more general, and still mostly accurate, vision of yourself. (There are a lot of other characters who could do this too obviously... Finn’s really the only one that I can think of who just snapped out of and then back into place, though.)

Damn that burned out dropship. (Definitely did not describe it right in that fic whoah-well.)

“Murphy, what are you doing here?” / “I believe I was invited.” Murphy just wants to be one of the group, ultimately. I really do believe that. I find it kind of touching and sad. (Especially since he’s only there to be thrown to the wolves by Raven lol. Not quite as hard to watch as him shooting her but close.)

Nurse!Murphy back at it again, helping Bellamy with Clarke.

I’m sorry but I just really don’t get why Finn is the hill Abby wants to die on lol. Yeah he’s your daughter’s friend and you’re rightfully guilty about the 100 situation and he’s only 17 or so but--he actually did what the Grounders said he did? NOW is the time to go all peace and love with Indra like ‘let’s stop the blooodshed!!!’?? Okay well you can start with not condoning war crimes.

People get so up in arms about the Finn cheating thing and honestly, not a great move--but I have some sympathy for the situation. Finn and Raven were not romantically compatible; they’re all young; and feelings really do change. They handle the situation with a remarkable degree of maturity overall--Finn admitting he shouldn’t be let off the hook, Raven emphasizing that they’re family, Clarke refusing to be the other woman in S1, Raven and Clarke becoming friends.

“The things that we’ve done to survive, they don’t define us” is all well and good--for someone suffering from guilt over actual impossible decisions, or self-defense killing, or killing in war. But Finn really didn’t have to kill a bunch of civilians, he didn’t rationally think he had to (he had Murphy there telling him he was being irrational), and he didn’t accomplish anything or serve any loftier goal by killing them. So basically what I’m saying is, Clarke, let him be guilty. He should feel guilty about this. And if you think he should live, he’ll never be able to move on until he acknowledges his wrong-doing.

Similarly, though, “maybe this is who we are now” is also rich--speak for yourself, buddy.

“It’s a capital crime” is such a dumbass thing to say, since the pilot established that “capital” is tied to the age of the perpetrator not the action taken. But I guess just as an audience reminder of the stakes.

Also this says “a year ago” but it clearly wasn’t a year ago--Finn says he’ll only be in the Sky Box for a few months, and he’s still there as of the pilot, and S1 is only about a month long--so Raven is 18, not 19 as she’s usually portrayed.

Anyway saving Raven from getting arrested was a legitimately good and noble thing he did.

I feel like we as a fandom collectively underestimate Raven’s ruthlessness. Like she really would have turned over Murphy instead of Finn and I truly find that sickening. I know that he shot her and that probably contributes to her sense that he’s expendable but it’s just such an obviously insanely wrong thing to do. Even Bellarke, not exactly paragons of virtue here, are like ‘woah, that’s a bridge too far, even for us.’ Also I really think Murphy has a thing for Raven and I really think that he was touched and complimented when she asked him to be part of the group, which just makes the betrayal so much worse--and really hits me in a softer part of myself, because this is more relatable to me than, like, guns and war.

Never a good sign when your friend says a prayer to you solemnly before just leaving for a few minutes.

Honestly it’s so... like darkly comic that after an entire episode of people talking about Finn, he ultimately just surrenders himself. Fitting. Satisfying.

Ugh, Kane’s that annoying guy who calls men younger than him “son.”

Okay the last ten minutes is just like gratuitous sadness.

So like basically we’re to assume from that conversation with Lincoln that Kane’s allegedly great idea about Ark justice wouldn’t have worked out, I guess?

I don’t agree with Lxa on anything but this isn’t a hill I would die on if I were her, either. Like maybe sometimes showing mercy can be revolutionary and maybe you can even get away with it--but this isn’t the situation where that’s possible. Finn isn’t a child by their standards (he’s probably about Lexa’s age?) and he isn’t an innocent. So “show my people how powerful you are” isn’t a great argument. She isn’t powerful enough to stop an execution like this, one so popular and--unnecessary torture aside--basically justified according to the laws and customs of the relevant societies.

Also super pisses me off that Clarke is comparing herself and Finn. Burning 300 warriors during a battle in order to save yourself is absolutely not the same as opening fire on a village of civilians and she is certainly smart enough to know the difference. I know--an emotional time, a last ditch effort. But I’m annoyed because having watched 4 seasons of this show and tumblr-watched a couple more I LEGITIMATELY do not know if the writers understand the difference. Like I think I might be supposed to be taking Clarke seriously here.

Like Clarke does need to wrestle with her own guilt--but this is still nuts.

Also she has never actually wrestled with her own guilt and neither has anyone else: it’s either ‘woe is me I’m so guilty’ or ‘what guilt? lol’

I mean Olav has already done the whining about his own un-atoned sin thing WAY better so....

ALTHOUGH back to everything I said about Kane’s proposal--ultimately, that’s what Clarke just unilaterally did: she executed Finn, which is probably what any fairly applied bit of Arker justice would have decreed--without torturing him--dealt with his very real crime on Camp Jaha’s terms, basically, not the Grounders’. And Lexa accepted this because it was too late to change it and ultimately she’d already gotten pretty close to what she wanted and could see that there was more to extract from Clarke’s people (as anti-MW allies) alive than dead.

This is obviously a very emotional and wrenching scene but I just can’t allow myself to feel it right now because I’m very upset and this is my distraction.

I do remember being actually floored when I watched it the first time though.

I’m going to tentatively say I agree with the opinion that Raven never got over Finn’s death and Clarke’s part in it--that they were never truly friends again after this.

Bravenlarke are such a physically attractive ot3.

Overall a good episode but not a fun or enjoyable episode. I miss my MW kids.

#the year 2020 #2020: t100 s2 #the 100 rewatch #the 100

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christoperpzdomiziasc98insu-blog · 5 years

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