#because oofa doofa

[ahauntedcowboy]

i can’t believe i was falling asleep last night being happy about not having a single seizure all day yesterday (which is a record for me) only to wake up in the middle of the night experiencing the worst seizure in my entire life... my body said fuck you personally.

#eri's health struggles #im fine now #my head hurts a bit but im okay #i just...why does my body choose violence every day #i was so pleased too like omg no seizures today so proud of myself #and then kept waking up in the night #and the lightning was REALLY bad #and i think it might've triggered a nasty one #because oofa doofa

[pechebeche]

WOW do i not want to be learning unity right now

#deeply unfortunate timing for this class' module #and one which has COMPLETELY taken the wind out of my sails for this particular learning experience #oofa doofa #personally #ultimate its still useful because its a prototyping tool independent of a publishing tool #& using it can still translate to using other engines #but like. geez louise

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

doing a movie club with friends and I know I (me solely me) made this club a pvp agressive zone (picked clifford 1994 as the first watch and promptly got banned from picking the watch for a round) but boy howdy this weeks pick of scott pilgrim vs the world is rough

#havent watched this movie in near a decade and oofa doofa #I keep having to pause it and take a lap around the apt #i do feel bad because I was like 'oh i enjoyed this when last i watched sounds like a good pick :)' #and this is coming from someone who really fucking enjoyed ***** **** last week soooooo its dire #I think I'll like it more as we go one but I started like 2 hrs ago and have gotten a third of the way through so not making good time

[mariska]

very professional artist's interpretation of what i have looked like for the past two hours

#bad day folks. its. been a rough one #licherally feels like my eye is swollen past my eye socket so likeeeee hopefully its not!! oofa fuckin doofa!!!! #i have a drs appt in like 3 hrs at my usual primary care office BUT #my dr who is one of the only drs i trust is not there today #and i am absolutely not going to the ER or an urgent care place bcus i am not properly updated with my vaccine booster #and when i brought that up like a month ish ago i was told that somehow. despite always being on the verge of autoimmune related death #quite literally. i dont 'qualify' to get a necessary protective booster shot so maybe later in the year. hello???? what the fuck #like i have been stuck in my house for 2 and a half years having to tip toe on #metaphorical glass to keep myself alive at the cost of my literal sanity #because i am super high risk of catching you know what and having horrible complications due to my numerous other health issues #and i tried so hard not to let myself get sick or have unusual bad symptoms like this so that #i wouldnt have to put myself at risk attending physical appts #and tried my best to stay on top of all the vaccine info and advocate whenever i could for myself and my health #and they really said No and now the exact thing i was terrified would happen has happened against my will #and now i have to expose myself to health risks because this one problem that is currently unexplained and very painful #just decided to Happen. and i could have been up to date vaccinated a month ago and not have my severe medical #trauma be triggered like this. im so exhausted and frustrated dude.

[damienthepious]

lalalalala oh we’re still here with the poor lizard

The Beast In On His Chain (chapter 13)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ch 8] [ch 9] [ch 10] [ch 11] [ch 12] [ao3] [???]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Lord Arum, Rilla, Sir Absolon

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, prisoner/guard dynamic, Dehumanization, (which feels like a weird word to use for a nonhuman person bUT. it’s what i got.), Despair, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, (EVENTUALLY!!!! it’ll take a while), Captivity, Suicidal Thoughts, (that will be a theme throughout. inescapable in this particular fic. alas.), Eventual Romance, (Yes the dynamics in this one are fucked. honestly i’m kinda Stretching my limits these days.), (having fun with it. fucking around. it’s fine.), Recovery, (eventually), Self-Reclamation

Chapter Summary: Rilla rages, and Arum dreams.

Chapter Notes: This one got... kinda abstract on the back half and MIGHT have made me cry at least once. Warnings for references to violence and blood, references to the treatment of dislocated fingers, continuing malnutrition and dehydration, and Arum continuing to be passively suicidal. oofa doofa.

~

"I want to see him," Rilla half-growls the next morning, pacing the floor like a cat, clenching and unclenching her hands in front of her stomach. "I want to- after something like that? I just- I can't even imagine what he must be thinking, I just-" she spins quick, throwing her body in another direction with a grimace. "But I can't, because it would be stupid to draw attention to myself after that happened, worst possible idea and it could come back down on you, too, because they're not complete idiots actually and if your fiance goes and hovers around the monster captive the so soon after he tries to escape, if Absolon is there and he recognizes me-" she huffs. "Only make things worse. I'd only make things worse and it might block off possibilities later, I'm already next to useless here anyway-"

"You are not useless," Damien interjects, feelingly, and Rilla pauses long enough to throw him a grimacing sort of smile, vaguely grateful, before she spins on her heel again and continues.

"I just... I want to see him. I know I can't see him. I'm worried. And it makes me want to break things! Which is a dumb, unhelpful urge. But it's there, and I'm not even the one who got hurt! I hate this, I just-"

"I think... I believe that patience is a tool we must employ," Damien says quietly, looking towards the window. "Time is the resource we have in the most abundance. It is very likely, my love, that without our influence, nothing at all will change. He will remain static, trapped, yes, but- neither better nor worse off. We must be..." he pauses, winces awkwardly, and then continues. "We must be careful. We mustn't move too quickly, or we risk..."

Speaking in terms of subterfuge makes Damien feel... twitchy. Dirty. Uncomfortable. He tries to bury the feelings, tries to refocus on the way Arum trembled as he released Damien from his grasp. The way Arum collapsed into his arms after Damien set his fingers.

His eyes.

Damien shakes his head. "I want to do this right," he settles on, after a long moment.

Rilla slows, slightly, and sighs. "Me too," she says, and then she pushes her hair out of her face again. "Me too. I just- it doesn't feel right."

Damien's lips tighten, his brow furrowing. "I don't expect that it will," he says, slowly. "Not until..."

"Not until he's free," Rilla says grimly. "Which won't happen unless we're careful, and clever. Which- I can be careful," she says. "Contextually," she adds when Damien flicks his eyes to her with gentle amusement. "When I need to be. It's like medicine. It demands precision and care, or the prognosis..."

He nods. "And we are both of us, I think, rather clever." He smiles. "Contextually."

She scowls at him, but her eyes are dancing. "I think he might be, too," she says after a beat. "He... his eyes-"

Damien's hands flex, oddly, and he twists them together in front of himself for a moment, the memory of Arum's eyes burning at the back of his mind.

"He looks... he looks like he's always thinking three steps ahead," she says. "I'm not actually all that surprised he tried to escape. I'm more surprised that he doesn't try more often."

"He used to," Damien says, almost without thinking, remembering the stories he used to hear, newer context making them seem... darker. More grim. If the result of this most recent escape attempt on Arum's physical form is any indication. "He... he used to."

Rilla meets his eye for a moment, expression hard, and then she swallows. "Well," she says, tone firm. "Good thing, then, that he's only going to need one more try."

Damien thinks-

The towering spire of the Citadel, the layer after layer of guards, the chains, the stone collar, the wide countryside full of knights-

He exhales, and then he nods.

"One more try," he agrees.

~

Arum's dreams are changing.

(His waking hours are changing, for the first time in however long. Perhaps this should not surprise him.)

They are changing; some sharper and darker, bloodier. Some of cutting and burning, like when he first came here and his worry for his Keep overwhelmed everything besides his rage and defiance. Some of Sir Absolon's gauntleted knuckles. The taste of blood.

Some of-

Other things.

Water, now.

Waterfalls, rivers. The collapsing ocean at the edge of the world. Water on Sir Damien's cheek, a handful of droplets, rivuleting together like condensation on a cool morning, running down his skin, trickling from the curls of his hair. The brightness of tears in his eyes.

(He does not think that one is real. He cannot remember, exactly. Wetness on Damien's cheek from pouring water unsatisfyingly over his head, but- not tears. Not real. Does that matter?)

Water on Arum's tongue, flowing down his throat as if to drown him, but he breathes it in and breathes it in and it fills him with soothing coolness as if he is himself a goblet, as if he is himself a lake. As if he could be filled. As if he could, perhaps, be satisfied.

(Damien sits with him every day, now. Brings a canteen full to the mouth every day, pours him cupful after tin cupful every day, allows Arum to drink it all the way to empty. Every day.)

(His throat hurts less. He feels- slowly, slowly, so slowly it is hard to be certain, but- he feels the difference. Drop by drop may still fill a bucket, and Arum...)

(Every day, Arum feels a little less empty.)

Some dreams are stranger. Some dreams, his vision comes in charcoal lines on pale parchment. Sketch-lines that move, landscapes shifting in soundless wind. Playful watercolors breathing in the plumage of a heron, in the dancing leaves of an aspen, in the light-scattering surface of a lake.

(Memories, or wishful thinking, spilling to mix with his only recent window into the outside world.)

Flowers. Flowers and flowers and flowers, bold dark lines contrasting with sweet yellow or vibrant orange. In the dreams they lay out in front of him, deep and endless and lovely, but- nothing he can touch, through the paper.

(Amaryllis hasn't come back since the attempt at escape.)

(They are not bringing tour groups through, just at the moment. He would feel satisfied, about that, if not for...)

He dreams of paper, charcoal. He dreams of water, yes.

He dreams adjacent to fire, as well. Adjacent, only, because it is not about fire, truly, in the dreams, it is only-

Heat.

(No sunlight, down here. No touch. Torches on the walls, far outside of his reach, and only cold steel and stone at his fingertips, he is so cold, here. Always. Except-)

Heat, against his scales. The suggestion of fire. Or-

(Damien hasn't touched him again since the day he set Arum's fingers. Has only touched him twice, in truth, and only once of his own will. Though- he still caught Arum, the first time, after Arum let him go. But that second time- the pain, yes, of fixing what had broken, but- afterwards, as well. A hand on his shoulder to keep him from falling, his snout almost pressed against the human's shoulder, Damien's other hand a suggestion of blazing heat, hovering just barely, just barely aside from Arum's cheek.)

Dreams of false fire. His scales hot with heart-heat, the heat of the blood in someone else's veins. Skin, soft dark skin against his scales. Hands on his shoulders, hands on his arms to help him fall into that blaze. Hands on his face. Heartbeat in his wrists, pulsing where Arum can feel it. A second rhythm, to accompany the lonely useless thing in his own chest.

(Arum wakes gasping. Wakes gasping. Wakes gasping, and finds himself surprised when Damien isn't there.)

He dreams-

He dreams of Sir Damien's bow. Dreams of his hands, raised. Dreams of pity transmuted to action. Dreams of his eyes, bright and bright and bright, blazing with heart-heat.

Arum still dreams the old dream, rekindled new. An arrow in his heart, and freedom.

(And from this revivified dream, Arum finds that he wakes in tears.)

#elle's fanfic #second citadel #rad bouquet #lizard kissin' tuesday #amaryllis of exile #sir damien #lord arum #the beast in on his chain

[queenofbaws]

Hi there! I hope you're doing well :)

May I suggest Laura taking care of Max "I bruise easily" Brinly for six sentence Sunday? 🥰

“Nurse Kearney, you gotta come quick, this is...oh, this is a real emergency situation we’re dealing with here.”

Laura’s head snapped up from the paperback she’d been paging through, her stomach preemptively dipping as she prepared to handle another crying camper with a skinned knee or a peeling sunburn or (God forbid) an unexpected stomach bug...only to see Max walk in, letting the door swing shut behind him. “You’re walking awfully slow for someone caught up in a, uh, real emergency situation,” she smirked, setting her book down on her table before turning in time to watch him plop himself down on one of the cots they kept for the sickest campers.

“No, it’s an emergency,” he insisted, giving her a single grim nod before offering her his hand, extending it weakly, almost like the tendons to his upper arm had been cut and he just plain couldn’t hold it straight, “Try not to barf, okay, because if you lose your cool, then I’m definitely going to lose my cool, and if I lose my cool, oofa doofa, I don’t know where that’s gonna leave us...”

She saw it immediately, but only because she’d spent the better part of the past few weeks dealing with kids who didn’t know any better; “Oooh you are so lucky,” she started, grabbing the tweezers without even having to look, pulling the microscopic splinter out from his ring finger, “You are so lucky I love you, Max, because if I didn’t, I’d be really, really tempted to make fun of you right now.”

“Hey, it’s not very nurse-like behavior to go around bullying your patients, you know,” he joked, still acting as though he was on the verge of collapse, his head turned away on the cot’s pillow, his arm playfully limp in her hands, “Offer to kiss it to make it better, and maybe - just mayyybe - I’ll consider not reporting that to your supervisor...this time, at least.”

six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!

#theartofdreaming1 #six sentence weekend #queenie writes supermassive #hi there!!! i'm doing a-okay this chilly sunday morning ;P i hope you're doing well too!!!! #(im doing even better now that i have an excuse to write these two AHHHHH)

[lowlights]

Sweetness.

Tell me about Ezra. Tell me what our little gremlin likes done to him.

💖💖💖😈

My beloved.

I'm putting this under the cut because to quote @joel-mlller: oofa doofa

Ezra likes your panties in his mouth while you ride him. Especially if you get good and wet beforehand. He also likes when you call him naughty but then let him prove that he's really a good boy for you. While my personal kinktober HC for him is that he likes to control your orgasm, he also likes when you deny him his own. For a little bit, at least.

He also really likes when you make him beg for a cheeky little rim job. He likes to eat you out while he wears a plug, and on special days he gets pegged.

Lastly, tie this boy up. Edge him into oblivion. Rub his pre-cum on your clit while he watches but can't touch you. Get off on his thigh, use him use him use him.

#anyway i love you #thank you for asking about our ez

[dunwichdrawsstuff]

So I have been through

Some fuckin shit in my head today and this is is just like, the saga of art that I did over the of the course of the day, as I was trying to make sense of my dysphoric(?) brain spaghetti.

A little bit ago, I made it a public thing that I’m rolling with Genderfluid and they/them pronouns, yeah?

Well there’s a bit of a hitch with that. Because there’s a part of my head that doesn’t like that answer. Part of my head wants stability, it wants a choice between binaries. And then the other part of my head wants to be at peace with my fluidity, and just be comfortable not defining myself so specifically. And those two concepts have been at WAR in my skull today.

After dwelling on it for all goddamn day, I think I’ve kinda got an alliance going between those two factions so to speak. Via merging the characters that were representing them. And now the feeling is something like; finding stability in the middle ground, where comfort is more important than definition.

Or maybe I’m just real goddamn tired of THINKING today and I just want my head to be quiet.

Whatever the case; oof. Oofa doofa. Big oof. I don’t wanna draw anymore today

#dunwichdrawsstuff #art #vent art #dysphoria #genderfluid #gender shit #oc #sona

[robtriestokeepadiary]

Oofa doofa had to stay late because stupid stupid stupid. Fucking stupid. Goddam. To much work all of a sudden. Hate the office hate itbhate it hate it fuck fucking fucknfuck

[losebetter]

that is... minimalizing what [fjord] is dealing with right now. he is trying to find a father, he has... compromised himself with this woman - for us, for himself, for all of our safety. it is going to be difficult for him.

caleb FINALLY drawing attention to the elephant in the room and acknowledging how fucked this shit with avantika was, thank GOD for that wizard

#critical role spoilers #caleb widogast #fjord #okay okay i'm done i'm going to bed now but i had to.... transcribe this #because oofa doofa #THANK YOU CALEB #thank you for making this something that may actually be addressed because i've been heartbroken #T__T <3 #he cares about him man..... HE'S BEING THE KIND OF FRIEND FJORD NEEDS RN #bout time someone did

[itsmxbee]

Hey so that was pretty terrible

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #help #oh my god #Rosie #rosy #mag192 #mag 192 #tma192 #tma 192 #rip to my heart #will the real jonny sims please stand up #because I need to have a long talk with you #i’m terrified #terrible #anxiety #oof #oofa doofa

[battletowered-archived]

✘ {PrisonRose} "Assuming it were at all possible for me to have made it to the funeral... Would you have wanted me there at all?"

Ask the muse a question and get an honest answer (4/10)

@prisonrose

     For a moment, he’s speechless. Worse, actually, he sees red and physically digs his nails into the heel of his hand to stop himself from acting on his gut reaction to tell Rose off for the nerve he had to contact him after the danger he put the people of Galar in.

     And he has the nerve to mention Raihan’s name. The first conversation he's had with Rose in months, and one of the first things he's brought up beyond small talk is Raihan. That's what he wants to talk about is Raihan's funeral-- a subject that's still too tender to even bring up to his friends and family, and it touches a nerve like a livewire.

     He has to be honest? Then he’ll be honest.

     “No.” Leon forces the words out around gritted teeth. He can’t physically reach Rose-- that’s probably a good thing, too, because Leon’s pissed. He’s been simmering for months on this and he doesn’t think he’s capable of controlling it. “Do you know how fucking angry he was at you, Rose? He let you do your ‘research’ in Hammerlocke in good faith that you were trying to make our lives better. How do you think he felt finding out that you put his livelihood and his home and the people in Hammerlock who trusted him on the line? He was angry. He told me so himself-- so no. I wouldn’t have wanted you there, because I know there is no way that we could have laid him to rest-- to put him at peace -- with you there.”

#ic || standing on top of the world #Leon || Keep your eyes ahead and your mind open #answered #Verse || Mourn with the moon and the stars up above #tw: character death #tw: major character death #tw: character death mention #major character death #character death #character death mention #||OOFA DOOFA Im sorry our first interaction is Leon being so aggressive QwQ|| #prisonrose #||edited the wording to fit a bit better and because rose wasnt trying to be rude ajrnrkendkdk||

[pepprsteak]

tw// sui imp

#just lyle things #not to be dramatique but the only reason im not self harming or ramming my car into a wall while going 80mph is because what if i Made It #and also i know itd make paul upset ! #but i really see no point in me bejng alive rn lmao !!!!!! i just get made fun of at my job and am constantly poor so i Cant Leave #im so apathetic rn i hate this i wish i cojld take a break without consequences to try to be happier but id lose my job #and then id still be stuck here in a town i resent with people who make me want to theow up #oofa doofa !! oofa doofa !!

[waitineedaname]

tis the day to be anxious for no reason

#hm. great. #I can already tell this is because I havent gotten enough sleep #I know myself well enough at this point to be able to tell #but oofa doofa y’all #as my mom calls it: nonspecific malaise

[serendipitykismet-moving]

[[Hhhehrhrj i thought I was going to get to one or two replies but mmmmm nope just all angry. I've been in an angry bad mood for several hours and I don't think anything I write in this state of mind is going to be good tbh]]

#ooc || quick while no ones looking #||i have such a hard time writing when im angry|| #||because it usually just reflects back onto my characters again and thats oofa doofa|| #||so i apologize for a generally unproductive week on my part UnU|| #||delete later||

[mxinterpretations]

Who needs alcohol when my depression causes a burning sensation in my chest naturally!

God today’s really just horseshit isn’t it

#may I speak #oofa doofa #it’s weird because it’s true