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fangirleaconmigo · 1 year

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I am feeling all kinds of stuff tonight. So I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled fandom programming and bringing you this, my post ,as a feminist, about trans rights. I feel like with all the shit going on right now, it's good to let people know where you stand, damn the consequences.

Alright.

Those of you who follow me know that I lost a dear friend to suicide a few weeks ago. She was a caring, kind human being, and a butch lesbian woman.

I was just sitting here tonight going through all of the facebook posts she ever tagged me in, just crying again and missing her. And I came across one very very long post she made a few years ago that I had completely forgotten about.

One day in 2017 she poured out her heart about being kicked out of a women's restroom at the Y again. She was very tall and athletic and had short hair, and this was not the first time it had happened to her.

Her post is lengthy and the heartbreak she felt being rejected from womanhood for her 'unfeminine' appearance is so visceral and so painful. She had experienced an intense amount of violent gender based and homophobic abuse in her life. She felt a deep, deep connection with her womanhood and with other women.

If you've read my other posts about her, you know that she liked to call her woman friends "warrior women" and have "yaya sisterhood" bonfire parties at her house. She always built us up. She gave a shit about other women, so sincerely.

So to see her pain again about this, about the way that she was constantly being 'defined out of' woman hood and treated as a predator made me enraged all over again.

I don't get involved in arguments online if I can at all help it (you all have noticed that I'm sure, I'm here to have a good time). But please let me share something personal here for a moment. If you follow me and were ever curious about where I stand, (being a feminist online during these horrible times) here it is.

Transphobia. Hurts. All. Women. Transphobia. Is. Not. Feminism. Transphobia is hate.

Mari is not the only butch friend I have who has been treated like a predator, kicked out of bathrooms, and been treated as an outsider to woman hood for visibly 'failing' a visual femininity test. It is such a stab to the gut to be rejected by your own people.

Yes, she was a cis woman. But she was still rejected by those who define women down to 'femininity' and 'clocking' as a woman, and being small and dainty and shit. She suffered from that. We all fucking suffer from that. I have another butch queer friend who this happens to. She gets kicked out of bathrooms. It's never happened when I'm there, which is probably better for everyone, because I get so enraged on her behalf just hearing about it. I'm a deeply nonviolent person but in person, I don't know what I'd do.

So let us be clear. All of the anti-trans bullshit going on, all the transphobia going absolutely bonkers online right now, makes literally all of this even worse and more hostile for women. All women.

For as long as we require women to 'clock' as uber feminine, for as long as we police women's genitalia when they walk into a restroom, for as long as we make queer women feel like predators for not conforming to social pressures of femininity, WE WILL BE ABUSING OURSELVES. WE WILL BE POISONING OURSELVES TO FIT IN WITH THE CONSERVATIVE, TRADITIONAL, HOMOPHOBIC MAINSTREAM WHO FUCKING HATES US.

Let me say that again, so this is clear. THEY FUCKING HATE US.

I don't give a shit what they say about feminism. "Oh, we are here to protect you from trans women"

Shut the ENTIRE fuck up. Just stop. I've lived on this earth as a woman for 46 goddamned years. You cannot pee on my leg and tell me it's goddamned raining.

Every time I've been politically disenfranchised, oppressed, underestimated, exploited, IT HAS BEEN BY THE RIGHT WING POLITICAL ESTABLISHMENT. IT HAS BEEN BY MISOGYNISTIC CISHET MEN AND THEIR HELPMATES, USUALLY CISHET UPPER CLASS WHITE CHRISTIAN WOMEN.

The thing that oppresses women are the systems and cultures of misogyny. Are you telling me trans women built those? lmaooooooooooooo get the entire fuck out.

They always say...oh, trans women can't be women because of the 'female experience'. So let this experienced female tell you that I fucking see you. I see you lying through your teeth about suddenly giving a shit about us.

I see you.

Young cis women, budding feminists. Do not let these people tell you that it's feminist to reject trans women. Do not let them say it's feminist to lament trans men and the 'loss' that purportedly represents to womanhood. Fuck that. It isn't feminism. It regressive. It's bigotry.

Do you not see how, every fucking time they talk about trans women they bring up rape?

Why? Ask yourself why?

Are trans women more likely to rape? No. Statistically, factually, they are most likely to be raped.

Is there some fuckn loophole somewhere that says trans women can legally rape people? And we gotta do something about that?

NO! In fact, in the US, it's functionally legal to assault and even kill trans women. These dudes are always fucking getting away with it, they just have to claim they were 'surprised' or some shit.

So then why do they always bring up rape?

Because they are trying to create an association between trans women and predatory behavior. To vilify them. As a Mexican American woman let me tell you that this is EXACTLY like when Trump brought up Mexican people EVERY FUCKN TIME he immediately brought up rape and drugs.

It's creating a connection in the minds of your audience. It is a process of hate. It is a process of dehumanization. And what does it directly precede? An oppressive action. They do it when they want to persecute a group of people and they don't want anyone to stop them.

It's hate and it should chill you to your core. They are out there killing these women! They are abusing and killing trans women, and trying to make you hate them so they can accrue even more clout and power. If you claim to be a decent human being, I'm gonna need you to give a fuck about that.

Then they act like they do it out of feminism.

They say...oh, we support women being 'unfeminine'. Trans men, for example, should just be butches and not trans their genders...

Oh fuck you. I was there. I was called every name in the book for not being feminine enough. It was right wingers who told me I should have been born a man. That I needed to change. To conform.

And now these same people are saying...oh we're on your side. We think we should get rid of gender stereotypes, not have all this trans-ness going.

Fuck you, you don't care about gender stereotypes.

Kids, never, ever, ever, ever trust someone who allies with alt right, far right, homophobic conservatives. They don't care about you. They aren't feminist.

Every election period I am reminded of who my sisters are. My cishet so called sisters who vote right wing with their husbands and ally with their whiteness and their class are not my fucking sisters. (I'm American, but I know this isn't unique to us)

If you support autonomy for women, and I mean ALL women, then you are my sister (or brother, or sibling, I claim you, I fuck with you is what I'm saying). If you lift up other women, the way my friend Mari did, then I claim you.

But if you claim to believe in improving the lives of all women, then that simply must include trans women.

Your so called feminism simply cannot include mocking women for looking masculine. It simply cannot include defining women by their genitalia. It simply cannot include policing women's genitalia or child rearing capacity.

They say...oh define women. Give us a definition then. You lose because you can't define women.

Fuck you.

I don't need to define women. I just need to love women, to be in solidarity with women. And I do. I support us. I volunteer for Planned Parenthood. I give money to pro-choice women who run for office. (again, women who support women) My home stays open to women leaving abusive relationships. I've housed at least five women over the past five years. I don't talk about it online because that's not why I do it. I do it because we need to stick together. So that's what I do. I march. I care. I give a shit.

And I appreciate anyone who stands with us of any gender you've got. Men? Awesome, stand right here. You've got a new gender? Fucking awesome. Stand right here. Hold this sign.

And as for trans women?

They are trying to legislate trans women's rights to medical procedures, to access to their own bodies.

I know what that's like.

They want to humiliate trans women for not meeting this high standard of 'feminine'

Shit, I know that what that's like too.

They want to define trans women by their internal organs and demean them for not functioning as a womb?

Me too, sister.

The thing is, I believe in trans women. In all trans people. Do you seriously fucking think that seven billion unruly human goddamn beings can (or should) neatly fit into ONE OF TWO FUCKING BOXES AND STAY THERE OBEDIENTLY NO MATTER WHAT THEIR OWN COMFORT AND HAPPINESS DICTATES? That's the most implausible, deranged thing I've ever heard.

Gender and social roles exist to serve humans. NOT the other way around.

I will always believe this. Human well-being first. Human dignity first. Social roles if they help, if they fit, if people like them. If not, chuck em.

So, yeah. I know this is a fandom blog. But I'm sitting here reading my friend's pain posthumously and I'm so angry. I'm just so angry.

How do I wrap this up? I don't know. I don't know everything. I'm not an expert or a scientist. I'm an Old and I have to google half the words I see online that people use when they talk about their gender or sexual orientation. (I've learned a lot these past few years on here!) So I'm not the expert. I don't understand it all. (who does??? LITerally NO ONE). I've made mistakes, I'll keep making mistakes. Unproblematic? I don't know her. No one does. Our asses are all problematic.

I just know that I give a shit about people, that I care about my fellow women, and that is literally all you have to do. And anyone who harasses, abuses, or just makes their lives miserable in general is on my shit list.

So yeah. Trans rights, folks. And feminists? If your feminism includes genitalia checks, it's not feminism it's fucking bigotry.

Thanks for reading x

#transphobia #feminism #random irl post #getting to know me i guess #had to get this off my chest #long post #remembering mari #tw: suicide #suicide

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randomjreader · 8 months

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My GMMTV 2024 predictions

We're about 1.5 months away from the rumoured gmmtv 2024 press conference (I'm assuming it'll be in the later half of October), so I figured it was about time I threw in my two cents on the lineup

What I want (but don't think I'll get):

Joylada bl series

If you didn't already know, I'm a massive JDPP fan, and I absolutely love their friendship, so ofc this has to be the first thing I mention. Do I think I'll get it? No, they haven't been seen together filming anything that isn't promo yet so the chances aren't high. But am I still being delulu and hoping gmmtv gives them a crazy, super chaotic bl comedy series, with dunkphuwin as brothers and joongpond as best friends who fall for them? Yes. (Bonus, the CP's get mixed around for maximum chaos)

Power rangers gang bl series

Similar to above, I think the vibes of this would be absolutely hilarious. Unlikely gmmtv would do this tho, the last time they capitalised on these cp friend groups was that series with the holy trinity (singtokrist, offgun, taynew). But with some of their biggest OGs leaving (singto, bright, ect) they might be trying to form the new generation of cp friend groups, so maybe it's not entirely implausible?

Viewjune gl series

If you follow my blog, you would know I'm Viewjune's #1 fan, so ofc I want them to get a GL series of their own. However, I honestly don't think they'll get it. One big thing about becoming an established, branded cp is fanservice, but despite being paired together for 2 shows already, there really hasn't been any interactions outside scheduled promos and a few pics here and there. Yes, this might just mean that they don't wanna feed into fanservice, but a part of me also thinks that it might mean they are trying to phase this ship out before people get too attached, possibly to explore mixing the cps up, which I will get more into later.

Prigkhing in a gl

The way I wanna see this so bad; Prigkhing would totally kill it in a GL, she already has chemistry with every girl she's put on screen with. But I'm not sure if GMMTV would actually do this, though this might be the most probable from this list.

Forcebook-pondphuwin bl series

Full disclosure, I want this solely because I love forcepond's friendship. They have similar humour, and it would be hilarious to see them play best friends (or lovers if gmmtv is ballsy enough to mix up their BL cps 👀). Even if the series flops I'd be invested solely for all the chaotic BTS. Also, the visuals would be serving. We all saw that one post of them in the gym right? Exactly.

Leading roles for the underutilised gmmtv artists

I'm talking about people like Drake, Mike, Aun, Bimbeam, Ploypach, ect. They are all so talented, but it feels like gmmtv hardly uses them (not so much on Ploypach, heavy on Bimbeam). GIVE OPPORTUNITIES TO YOUR OTHER ARTISTS PLEASE.

AJ and JJ leads series

These two needed a whole separate point for themselves. They have been with gmmtv for a while now, and they've literally been in like, 70% of gmmtv's series, yet not a single leading role for them. They have so much potential, not just because they are identical twins (how many of these companies have that), but also because they're really talented. GMMTV, stop overlooking them and give them their well deserved leading roles please.

Mark Pakin and Pond Naravit as twins series

Speaking of twins, forget GeminiPhuwin for a sec, I want to see THESE TWO play twins. They look so goddamn alike (imo more than geminiphuwin do), and they are both so funny without even trying, they would be great in a comedy together. Or hell, even a lakorn, they both have experience in those. Give me Mark as the outgoing, confident older twin and Pond as the shy, more introverted younger twin, and hell while we're at it throw in Milk Pansa as their older sister who's so done with their shit but loves them very much, because she raised them after their parents died.

What I'm expecting:

Geminifourth bl series

This one has already been confirmed, so really not much to say about it. Hell, I'm pretty sure gmmtv will give them 2 series instead of just one. I'm hoping to finally see red flag Gemini (but watch him be the one to fall first AGAIN)

Pondphuwin bl series

This one also has been subtly, sort of confirmed by Phuwin, and I'm holding on to all that hope. I never really understood why people were acting as if Pond is dropping out of the industry simply bcs he said he was going back to school, like he still needs to earn money to support himself and his family y'all, pondphuwin aren't going anywhere (not with their current popularity). It's literally giving the same energy as everyone freaking out when he tweeted about wanting to further his career in dance one day, and when he supported Santa when he went to join Fantasy Boys, because they thought that meant he was leaving the bl industry to focus on dance. Like pls everyone, relax. More likely than not it just means he'll get less work, probably only one 2024 series with phuwin and your usual artist appearances.

Dunkphuwin bg series

This one I've seen rumours of already, and hell yeah I'm so down for this. It's probably the closest we'll ever get to a joylada series, which makes sense since Dunk is graduating while Joong and Pond are probably going to be spending more time on school (we don't talk about Phuwin, Mr "I got into Uni at 16 while also working and am currently very close to graduating with honours" is crazy smart and can basically do anything). I'm hoping to see them play brothers (GMMTV don't you dare mess up that golden opportunity) and maybe have them paired up with Jaoying for Phuwin and a new gmmtv actress for Dunk.

Winnysatang bl series

Of all GMMTV's established cps, they are one of the only ones who have yet to get their own series, and given their immense popularity (they already have fanmeets of their own), it's highly likely to be getting their own series. I'd be surprised if they didn't. I'm hoping for some dark angsty drama for them, enemies to lovers or maybe even a forbidden love type of thing?

At least 2 new gl series

With their growing popularity, GMMTV would be dumb not to hop into this bandwagon. They've already started with 23.5, and that show has a lot of anticipation already. I'm thinking that 2024 is going to be the year of GL experimentation for them, where they mix and match a bunch of their actresses to find some new cps, hell they might even put together a GL ensemble series to compete with Love Senior that's coming from StarHunter.

But also, I think gmmtv might use this new gl experimentation to also experiment with not having established cps at all. It's something I've seen a number of fans talk about, not having established cps, and seeing what they've done in MLC and OF, two extremely popular series, it might be something they find worth exploring. However, no way in hell would gmmtv risk it on their bl guys, they earn too much money from them. So, if they're gonna do it, they'll more likely do it with their actresses, since there is really only one fully established gl cp so far (milklove), and a million other gl ghostships. Hence why I said I didn't think viewjune would get their own series, I think gmmtv might want to try pairing View up with a bunch of different girls, bcs let's be real she has chemistry with everyone.

Some pairings I'm hoping to see are NamtanFilm, PiployPrim, PiployEarn, CiizeEarn, JaneCiize, Viewtu, PrigkhingPrim, ect. Honestly I'll take anyone there's endless amounts of options if gmmtv would just open their eyes and utilise their women for once.

A pairing of 2 gmmtv rookies

Every year, there's usually an introduction of new CPs, and gmmtv has recently signed in a bunch of new people, so they'll definitely be used in 2024. Most likely they'll be put in as a side couple, but I would like to see gmmtv be ballsy and give leading roles to completely new actors (hey, it worked for gemfourth didn't it).

Dewjane bg series

I'm currently catching up on Homeschool, and Dewjane have crazy good chemistry. They also have quite a fanbase (go look at Jane's comments section of her Barbie post), so I don't see why gmmtv wouldn't take advantage of it and give them

Homeschool season 2

I've see rumours about this, and fuck I would love to see this. A whole new generation of students under new leadership, I think it would be interesting. Cast a bunch of the new artists, and some of the older ones like Prim, Phuwin and Gemini. Throw in Mike as a teacher while you're at it.

Firstkhaotung bl series

Listen, they are absolutely one of GMMTV's biggest cashcows rn, up there with geminifourth. They are literally the first cp to get an international fanmeet OUTSIDE ASIA, which is a huge huge achievement. They are also both incredibly incredibly talented, and super versatile too. Gmmtv has to give them a new series, preferably a comedy or something cute and lighthearted this time, because yes I know they do angst so well and are very pretty criers, but give them a break from crying let's all be happy for once HAHAHAHA

Markford bl series

Yes yes, I know we are in NeoMark era rn, but who says we can't have both huh? Markford were so godamn popular, in a way I don't think gmmtv expected, and I feel like with the Markford fandom still well and alive they might try again with them. Just to add to the chaos why not have a new NeoMark series too, have both fandoms happy (or competing) the entire year.

Even better, have all three of them in a love triangle, and have both fandoms warring, only for the show to end with all three of them getting together in a little polyamorous relationship. And let P'Jojo direct this one he'll know what to do.

Other works I want to see:

SIZZY CONCERT/ALBUM

I truly cannot stress this enough. GMMTV, THEY HAVE BEEN A GIRL GROUP FOR YEARS NOW, AND ALL YOU'VE LET THEM GIVE US IS 3 SOLO SONGS AND 2 COLLABS? NOT EVEN AN ALBUM OR A CONCERT? I'm literally begging on my knees, please please utilise them. I will literally buy a ticket to Thailand to watch their concert if you're so concerned about earning a profit, I swear I will just give them a shot. Even just an EP will do.

Joongdunk variety show

A lot of gmmtv's popular CP's have gotten their own already (EMS, LBW, FBS, ect), so I think it's about time Joongdunk got one too. It'll be hilarious, and I will be expecting pondphuwin to show up as guests thank you very much.

Milklove variety show

With how late in 2023 23.5 is going to be released, I don't think milklove will get a new series in 2024, but being the only real established GL pairing right now, I don't think gmmtv will just forget about them, so instead I want them to get their own little variety show, maybe something to do with crafting or travel.

Safehouse season 5: girls edition

After the disaster that was the last safehouse season, a part of me never wants that show to be a thing again, but the possibility of seeing all the gmmtv girls under one roof is too tempting. Who knows, maybe this will be what saves the Safehouse series. I would wanna see all the Sizzy girls, Namtan, Film, Milk, Earn, Prigkhing, View, June and Jaoying.

Final thoughts

Like many others, I'm thinking that there will be 10 new QLs — 8 BLs and 2 GLs, but of the 8 BLs I would like 2 of them to have a GL side couple, so 4 GL couples in total. I'm also thinking of probably 5 or so BG series.

If you've made it this far, damn. Thank you for reading my very long post. And if you make your own, tag me or something I would love to read about everyone's theories.

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hh0320 · 2 years

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𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥;

part three of the velvet opiate series. part one, part two.

pairing: rockstar! hyunjin x reader (+ minho, felix, chan)

word count: 4.6k

genre: visual gothic rock band, romance, dark smut, hurt/comfort, toxic skz, set in the late 90’s-early 00’s.

warnings: profanity, mature themes, drug & alcohol abuse, foursome, unprotected sex, filthy talk, light bdsm play, light sadism.

🏷: @ughbehavior, @cb97percent, @svintsandghosts.

tunes: radiohead (go slowly), mareux (the perfect girl).

Recordings for the new album lasted for a month and a half.

In those forty five days, none of them could move an inch away from the studio, without Joon breathing down their neck, threatening to kick them out the band. Some nights they would sleep in there, dreaming of riffs, and melodies.

Felix had lyrics. But lyrics were nothing but pretty poetry without the music, and Velvet Opiate were not looking to sell books—Chan was very aware of that.

He hadn’t been sleeping properly, if at all. Notes came to him organically, he could get inspired by anything, had a natural talent in song making, and got paid good money to keep it up—yet, he was fucked.

They needed a title track, and all they’d made so far were B sides. And it was on him. It was his fault, because he was so busy running around saving his band mates from themselves, that he’d had no time to sit down and produce. The one thing that was truly of any significance, for them, but to him, especially, solely.

Bang Chan had his music, entirely. Without it, he was just an entitled clown with a drum kit. The company needed a title track, and he’d provide, even if it killed him.

Nothing else mattered.

“From the top!”

The four of them inwardly groaned, fingers raw, sweat dripping from their hair. That was the fifth time they had to repeat that damn song, and they were fucking sick of it.

“Jail would be better than this,” Felix muttered under his breath, throat dry.

Minho chuckled, discarding his wet, sweaty shirt, bass propped on his thigh. His hair stuck to his forehead, dark circles around his brown eyes; he looked like he’d escaped hell.

Maybe he had, Hyunjin could never tell with his older friend.

“What do you know about jail, sunshine?” The purple haired man asked, sarcastically.

Felix rolled his eyes, a devilish smile on his lips. “I know that I’d drop the soap for you, handsome.”

Minho smirked, leaning forward. “All you gotta do is ask, sweetheart.”

“Please stop flirting, it’s making me fucking nauseous,” Chan interjected, a disgusted look on his face.

Hyunjin laughed, going through the tabs. “D’ you think they’ve already fucked, Bang? The tension is palpable.”

“He wouldn’t be able to handle what I give, doll face,” he concluded with a wink, and Hyunjin shook his head, smiling.

“What are you into these days, anyway? Satanic summonings?” Felix widened his eyes, in emphasis.

“Boys, get serious,” Joon said, through the microphone, on the other side. “Again.”

“Lix, shut the fuck up, before he ties you to a goddamn cross.”

Felix pft’ed, while Hyunjin started playing the intro of the new song. “He wouldn’t—”

“Oh, I would,” Minho warned, staring at the singer. “Careful what you ask for.”

Felix swallowed hard, and started:

‘His eyes were heavy

He carried a gun…’

Minho was bored.

His whole life, it seemed, was a mundane routine of waking up to uneventful days, eat, breathe, piss, fuck, repeat. Such was the mortal existence; to have your little time on earth, and then fuck off to whatever afterworld you believe in.

How mediocre—plain. Lee Minho refused to succumb to the monotonous, the tedious. That is why he joined Velvet, that’s why he is the way he is.

Tragic fucking backstory aside, since who the fuck really cares, Minho won’t blame the orphanage beginnings, or the loveless child trope that he’s carried throughout the years.

Juvie at fourteen, mental rehabilitation institute at sixteen, the freezing streets of the capital when freshly eighteen—could he condemn his bad luck? Ignore the responsibility of his fate?

Minho was many things, indifferent to everything, numb to surprise and pain, but he had a sense of responsibility for his actions—he’d never inconvenience anyone, especially the people he associates with the most, because of his own self destructive tendencies. His personal life was his, and his only.

That was the kind of picture Lee Minho painted. A rational one; a competent, sane person, albeit a little unreliable as a narrator.

Some called him a heartless son of a bitch.

Alas, no one was perfect.

It was well after midnight, a Friday on their second week of recordings, when they spotted the fans they’d been warned about.

They were waiting patiently on the side of the exit door, girls in their early twenties, masks hiding their faces, giddy eyes searching for their beloved artists. Joon had given them black caps, and advised the band to keep their heads low, and wave.

Felix broke first, but he later swears it was only because of their long time fan, and founder of his fan club, holding out a gift for him. He hugged her, and signed some pictures for her next giveaway.

Felix was like that—thoughtless, whimsical. It wasn’t exactly a fault, Minho thought, though Chan had reprimanded him quite a bit for his capricious actions.

That night, Minho had a craving. It was an urge, a thirst he couldn’t shake off. And what Minho wanted, Minho had—absolutely.

His gaze had caught the brunette on the far left of the group. She noticed him looking at her, and lowered her eyes immediately, succumbing to his intense stare.

She’ll break easily. That was fine by him, he wasn’t searching for a challenge, not tonight.

A nudge and a knowing look to his bodyguard, and he entered the van after Hyunjin, who’d nearly ran there.

He texted, ‘and her friend,’ to his not so little helper, and smirked down at the screen, feeling Hyunjin’s curious eyes.

“Fuck me,” the blonde boy rolled his eyes. “Just fucking—keep them quiet, will you? It’s a hotel, not your goddamn torture chamber.”

Minho chuckled sinisterly, watching everyone get in the vehicle. It was somewhat unfortunate he didn’t have his…toys with him, but if he was being honest, his patience had ran thin after all the work stress, and not being able to be at the comfort of his own home.

He just needed…release. And they’d have to fucking do, for now.

“I make no promises, doll face.”

Felix turned to that, confused. “Wait, what?”

“Shit, Minho don’t fucking tell me—” Chan started, annoyed.

Hyunjin snorted, lighting a cigarette. He could hear the girls yelling goodnight’s, and I love you’s, and absentmindedly smiled at the words.

“It’s true,” he mused, crossing his arms over his chest, and leaning back against the seat. “Minho’s gonna bless our ears, and get his dick wet.”

“Charity work, boys. You’re welcome,” the perpetrator finished, amused by the attention he was getting.

Chan groaned, while Felix scrunched his nose, wanting to retaliate.

“We’re gonna get kicked out, again. Fucking watch.”

Hyunjin had gifted Minho a pair of Vivienne Westwood pearl earrings for Christmas. It was her original design, and he’d gotten them as a last minute thing, a thank you for all the times the older boy had covered for his ass to their manager.

Hyunjin would follow Lee Minho inside a burning house. He would, if only to see what invisibility truly was. Minho was deathless, a distant form of a man that got away with everything.

His cunningness, his endearing personality that made you blindly follow him to the edges of the sharpest cliffs—where Hyunjin would free fall, searching for any kind of high, Minho could convince people to jump in his place, manipulate them into thinking they’ll be okay once they reached the bottom.

You had to really know the question mark, to know the fairytales it spewed. And Minho did tell a lot of stories. It depended on the kind of person you were—what you did and did not deserve to find out. For some, dragons have been slayed, princesses rescued—others know of the tales of the cavernous forest; about the tough fight against the darkness, how it stole everything, fed on his soul—

How he lost that soul, and what it cost him in the end.

There were a lot of stories, all of them fake. What was Lee Minho in his essence—a con man, hiding inside a thousand mirrors, each one containing only an echo of the small, scared boy he still was, deep down.

Hyunjin caught a glimpse of those earrings, dangling in the bright lights of the long hall leading to their rooms. Hair shining an intense purple, Minho disappeared behind his door, voice lost and now trapped against the four walls, no doubt a warm greeting to his guests for the night.

Chan was leaning against the railing, smoking one of his rare cigarettes. If nicotine was involved, Bang Chan was fucking stressed. Valid, considering.

“I’m worried about him,” he admitted, running a hand through his silver hair.

Lighter already in hand, Hyunjin copied his band mate. He stood next to him, silent for a while, wondering how could anyone worry about a snake.

The level of danger depends on the kind, but most snakes are adaptable, secretive creatures. They shed their skin when they’ve outgrown it, are reborn stronger, stealthier. A snake cannot truly die. If Hyunjin had to guess, Minho would be a saw-scaled viper, quick to attack, so you never see him coming.

He could survive anything, because he always put himself first. No exceptions, unless specified.

“These walls are paper thin.”

Chan sighed. “I could fucking care less about that, I’ve seen him fuck and get fucked forty different ways. I’m talking about his coping mechanisms—” he lowered his voice, glancing around.

Joon had their entire floor cleared, so it was only the four of them staying there, but some things Velvet Opiate kept close to their heart of hearts, never daring to speak about them out loud. It was an unwritten rule.

“Ever since his accident, her death—he’s never been the same again. I couldn’t possibly know what the fuck he’s thinking now, if I ever did back then.”

It was true. Minho had been in a fatal car accident, a couple years back. He ended up with several broken ribs, a fracture, and a broken leg, but the truck had come into impact with the passenger seat first. His then girlfriend was pronounced dead as soon as the paramedics arrived at the scene.

Perhaps, his most severe wound had been her passing.

The band had gone on hiatus for three months, and Minho didn’t once leave his house during the entire time, except to attend the funeral. And that had been a horrible thing in itself—the freezing cold mask he wore accepting condolences, the ghost that’s followed him ever since.

Lee Minho is the burning house. He’s been in flames ever since he was four years old, and the fire has only grown worse overtime. Hyunjin could only hope he knew how to put himself out before it was too late.

But wasn’t he the same way? Didn’t he also have a time limit—a certain amount of fuck ups before it was game over? What the fuck did he know?

Hyunjin exhaled smoke, nodding at the words his friend had said. “You have to walk through the pitch black darkness, to come through the other side.”

Chan finished his cigarette, shaking his head. “Hyun, he’s fucking drowning. You two are more alike than you think.”

The two boys looked at each other, brown on brown. Hyunjin could see the effort it took for Chan to be this vulnerable about his thoughts—he’s always been the crutch, the lifeboat.

The glue that held everything together.

“Maybe you could pull each other up,” he said, patting Hyunjin’s shoulder, and turning to walk to his room, three doors down.

Hyunjin would follow Lee Minho blind. He mused over the stick between his fingers, slowly turning into ashes, how it would always burn, always reduce itself down to the butt—there was no other outcome, no other way.

Predictable. That’s what Hyunjin was becoming. Inevitable.

He thought of you, and the way your skin felt underneath his own, how your eyes looked up at him with the brightest glint, the angel, the untainted. The holy.

You were probably waiting for him at that bleeding bar, wondering how long until he came back to sweep you off your feet. Tasting him in everything, laying awake panting, dreams of him stuck on your eyelashes. He hoped. He wished.

The damned have their prayers and their credulous hopes.

How expected of him to be this weak. Unsurprising.

What other fucking way does Hwang Hyunjin know, except the dark, thorny one? Except the mud, and the monsters, and the hopeless fight?

There’s only one story for him.

He gets up, knocks on the white door. Pearl Vivienne Westwood earrings greet him, an insouciant Minho blinks at him once, and moves out the way.

Hyunjin enters.

The lighting was dim, atmospheric.

One girl was tied on the headboard, the other on the floor, on her knees waiting, gaze downwards.

Both naked.

Hyunjin momentarily wonders if they were aware of Minho’s sexual preferences. Judging by the girl on the bed, her content face, he decides they probably don’t even care—too happy to be near their favorite idol.

Minho nods over to the vanity desk, thin white lines laid out, a credit card, and a bill next to them. A bottle of whiskey was open, three glasses empty around it.

This was the scene. The car accident, the neon lights, the siren. The death over and over—the self destruction was a suicide. The eventual joining, on the other side.

Hyunjin was familiar with this best of all, because he’d been guilty for it too. Only for him, there would be no rejoicing, no motive. No reason beyond the high.

Minho had moved to the mattress, sitting next to the gagged girl, that had been whimpering and fighting against the restraints. He spoke low to her, almost a whisper; his mouth was sinful, his language filthy.

“How wet is your cunt right now, love? Sprawled like a fucking whore for us. It’s what you wanted, right? To be fucked by a couple rockstars?”

The woman’s thighs rubbed against each other, no doubt aroused by the scenario.

Hyunjin had his eyes set on the submissive one on the floor, though. She had made no move, no sound, ever since he’d entered. She remained perfectly still, deliciously compliant.

He hadn’t used in three weeks. That was a record for him, though he couldn’t entirely put it on himself—everyone’s been micro managing him, monitoring his every move. His phone had been taken from him, all contacts removed.

He hadn’t fought it—he’d actually wanted to give sobriety a try, if for nothing but the sake of the band. But Minho had seen right through him, apparently, had spotted the beast inside Hyunjin, and promised to take care of it.

How expected of him to be this weak. Unsurprising.

Cocaine wasn’t his drug of choice, but anything is food to a starving man. He snorted a line, and rubbed his nose.

Then got close to the girl. Her hair was long and black, a curtain around her face. Hyunjin got on one knee, lifting her chin with his thumb.

Watery eyes stared at him, innocent and willing. Like yours.

“You’re being so quiet, sweetheart. Such a good girl,” he praised, taking in her body.

Perky breasts, tiny figure, hands balled into fists on her thighs. It wouldn’t take long at all—this girl was already broken.

Hyunjin loved broken things. There was no reason to be careful with them, at all. He fisted her hair, inspecting her reaction. She blinked at him, lips parting.

“You know what’s gonna happen, don’t you, pretty girl?”

She nodded weakly, never once breaking eye contact. Oh, she’s fucking done this before alright.

His other hand slapped her cheek, once. Softly, testing the waters. She flinched closer, but there was no pained look, no widening of the eyes. Just plain, unfiltered desire for more.

“Turn around, on your hands and knees,” he ordered, unbuttoning his shirt.

It was a split decision, her mouth opened—

“Can I touch you?” She regretted it as soon as she said it.

The second slap was harder, his palm leaving a red mark on her pale skin. She bit on her lip to keep from crying out, and scurried to get into position, afraid of worse punishment.

Hyunjin had no limit when it came to this—he would take it as far as his partner was willing to go, no second guesses. It was the only thing that gave him control, the only thing that truly gave him pleasure.

Feeling someone physically and mentally submit to him, connecting through inflicting pain on them… he’d been wired that way, it seemed. Violence got him fucking hard, the detachment, the deep emotions of the one receiving—the sweet release. All of it was incredibly arousing.

You had been the only exception, in all his years. With you, he wanted to take his time, defile you slowly, take care of you properly.

You were his angel, untouchable otherwise. You were different.

He pulled this girl by the throat, bringing her back flush against his own naked chest, mouth next to her ear.

“You’re fucking helpless. This is for me, and only me. You better keep fucking quiet, and take it, do you understand?”

She nodded frantically against him.

“Now, what’s your safe word?”

“Burn. It’s burn.”

Burn… This fucking girl.

“A true fan,” Minho commented, amused.

He was fucking the other girl’s mouth, both hands holding her face still. She was struggling to breathe, a slobbering mess, but there was no voice to her.

“I wrote that song, beautiful,” he winked at Hyunjin’s girl, and she blushed, before going back down, position resumed, lesson learned.

“That’s a good fucking girl,” he slapped her ass.

Sliding two fingers in her cunt, he found it soaking wet. Cursing, he fucked her like that for a while, making sure she’d keep to her word and make no noise. Her face was pressed against the carpet, arms barely holding her up.

He grabbed them, holding them behind her back, and removed his fingers. She clenched around the loss, juices running down her milky thighs.

What a fucking slut.

Hyunjin entered her roughly, using her arms to get deeper inside. She screamed, and then apologized immediately, her whole body tensing up, waiting for punishment.

“Didn’t I tell you,” he groaned, drilling into her, “to keep fucking quiet?!”

The girl on the bed was crying by this point, Minho relentlessly pounding her ass, hands still tied, a black scarf covering her eyes. It was like he was deaf to her screams, not present, as his movements quickened, her knees giving way, falling flat on her face, and yet never once shutting the fuck up.

Hyunjin glanced at his friend once, noticing the stoic expression, the hard lines of his mouth. He wasn’t there mentally, he was dissociating. It was what usually happened when Minho was high—he had no restraints, no way to stop, not unless he got what he wanted.

“Get on the bed,” he pulled his girl’s hair, slipping out of her.

She tripped, but did as told. He circled an arm around her waist and placed her right next to the moaning myrtle. The need to gag her was overwhelming, but Hyunjin knew Minho left her like that on purpose. To block his mind; static noise.

He slammed back inside her, cunt now a sloppy mess, lifting her legs over his head. Holding them with one hand, he fucked her brutally, exorcising the thought of you.

Minho stopped, as if awakening suddenly. The girl came hard, spasming violently. He pulled her up by the throat, and bit her shoulder.

“Join them. Let me see you.”

The two women started kissing, completely fucked out, while Hyunjin continued his pounding—close, so fucking close. Eyes shut, you’re there, a vision in black, red all around, getting fucked by him against a wall, like a fucking whore.

His whore. Hyunjin holds you up, your cunt heaven, a church he build to hide inside, praying to your name on his knees. Important, bigger than life, your half naked frame filling his mind, driving him over the edge.

“Burn! Burn! Fucking burn, fuck!”

He spilled inside her, growling, head falling on her stomach. She shook him off, pulling away, wrapping her arms around her knees, exhausted, tears streaming down her face.

You’d hate him for this. But you didn’t understand, yet. He’d make sure you never found out.

“All yours,” he says to Minho, getting off the bed.

“Don’t be scared, kitten,” Minho reasoned with her. “You didn’t think we’d go easy on you, did you?”

Hyunjin quickly slipped into his pants, remaining shirtless. He saw as Minho tamed both women, his voice level and soothing. It’d be a long night.

Pouring himself a drink, he downed it in one go, lines tempting him again. But he could already feel his high, and he really could care less about cocaine, so he left, right as Minho took out a vibrator—

Kinky motherfucker.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Minho called out to him, as the door clicked shut.

For the first time in his life, Hyunjin listened.

Back in his room, he showered off the sex smell, and sat by the window smoking, clad in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms.

He thought of you. Your scent, your soft hands, the way you reached for him. The way he’d scared you by attacking that scum. It’d been too long since then, and his need to see you, to touch you, only grew stronger.

But his life was a golden cage, and he remained a prisoner. Hyunjin had the least freedom of them all, and he had nothing but his addictions to blame.

Grabbing his guitar, he played through random notes, smoke burning his eyes. His fingers settled over a strumming pattern, and he repeated it, a faint melody coming together.

Hyunjin went through it again, and again, building on it, the music descending on his heart, painful and familiar. Reminiscent of the way you said his name.

He hummed along, and where lyrics failed, they now came to him freely, devastating.

‘I tried counting

Her smiling pain…’

He shot up from his seat, cigarette long forgotten, hanging limply from his mouth, and run out of the room, two doors down. Chan’s door was always open, because he never fucking slept.

He was in front of his equipment, free styling on the keyboard, when Hyunjin burst in and stood in front of him, grinning from ear to ear.

Chan squinted up at him. “Are you high?”

Hyunjin shook his head, guitar in hand. “Never mind that. I got us the title track.”

At that, the silver haired boy’s eyes widened, and he leaned back in his seat, intrigued.

“No shit. Never thought I’d see the day, Hyun.”

It was true. Hyunjin never wrote songs—there’d never been anything inspiring, until he met you. And he was so sure of you, his brave girl, so enamored by what you showed him, by what he felt.

“It’s called Knife.”

Chan gestured for him to sit on the bed. “Let’s hear it.”

Hyunjin played.

It was a bit past four in the morning, when Minho’s groupies left. Disheveled, and bruised, shoes in hand, they tiptoed to the elevator like thieves, giggling to themselves.

Hyunjin and Chan were taking a break out in the hall, and watched as they let out similar high pitched screams when they noticed them there.

The black haired one screamed, “I love you Bang Chan!” She looked drunk.

Chan chuckled, waving at her. “What’d he do to them?”

“You want the politically correct answer to that?” Hyunjin asked, taking a drag of his cigarette.

“Never mind.”

They both looked down at the lobby, and met the security guard’s gaze, as the two women passed by him. He probably thought, fucking rockstars, thinking they can do whatever the fuck they want, and he’d be right.

Sometimes they did the most excessive shit for the hell of it. Money and fame gave them the right to do so. What was a hotel’s security guard going to do about it?

Look the other way. They all did.

“What the fuck are you looking at, asshole?” Chan provoked him.

Hyunjin smirked, elbows resting on the railing, letting the scene unroll before him.

“Go back to your rooms,” the guard told him, scowling.

Chan scoffed, laughing humorlessly. “And what if we don’t, tough guy? Are you gonna spank us?”

At that, Hyunjin snorted. Chan had the worst temper of the four, and he loved getting riled up. Shit talking was his favorite pastime, only second to making music.

They had only gotten kicked out of a hotel twice before; once when Minho’s birthday orgy got out of control, and then back when they first became well known, for vandalism. That’d been Hyunjin’s fault—he’d been high as a fucking kite, and decided trashing his room and knocking on every door of his floor, screaming lyrics from their debut song was a great idea.

He got arrested for private nuisance, and fined three thousand dollars for destroying property. He’d barely made it to their first concert in America, and Joon was mad at him for a month after that.

He hoped this wouldn’t be the third, but did nothing to prevent it from happening.

The guy talked in his walkie-talkie, no doubt requesting back up. Hyunjin doubted he’d need extra men, but then again, Chan was known to be unpredictable when messed with.

“What a little bitch. Do you need me to show you, fuckface? Have you ever properly fucked a woman before?”

The receptionist came into view, looking up at them. “Sir, I advise you to calm down, or we’ll have to call the police. Please go back to your rooms, or you’ll be escorted out of the premises.”

Right on time, Minho and Felix came out, curious faces staring at their band mates. Hyunjin sighed, tugging on Chan’s sleeve.

“Do you really have to start shit, Bang? This hotel’s been pretty flexible with us.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Felix asked, rubbing his eyes, looking down at the lobby.

“I’m calling Joon. Chan, fucking calm it, before we’re front page news again,” Minho warned, opening his flip phone.

Chan hit Hyunjin in the back, taking a deep breath, and nodding at Minho.

“You’re right. But let me just—fuck you!” He shouted to the guard, a maniacal smile on his lips.

“Okay, I’m done. Fuck, that felt good.”

Felix laughed, following him to his room. “Fucking Bang Chan…”

Hyunjin stayed behind with Minho, who was on the phone with their manager, explaining the situation.

“So much for laying low,” Hyunjin mocked Chan’s words from earlier that month.

Minho smirked. “We’re Velvet fucking Opiate, doll face. We don’t lay low.”

The blonde smirked back, and put his arm around the older’s shoulders. “Sounds about fucking right, honey.”

“I wrote a song, by the way!”

“About fucking time. We all just thought you’d be a pretty face forever.”

“Fuck you, Lee.”

“Next foursome, doll.”

A week later, the new publication for ‘Nicola’ magazine was out. It was the go to for every teenager in Japan, and Velvet Opiate had been a regular issue on their pages, mainly for their fashion appearances, and hot gossip.

This time it was the latter.

The title read as such: ‘Velvet Opiate fans confess—we slept with the band! EXCLUSIVE’

“Guys!” Joon yelled, reading through the article anxiously.

The band gathered around their manager, peaking at the magazine, curious.

“Fuck,” all four collectively exclaimed.

They were in deep shit.

#ficscafe #straykidsland #hyunjin scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop scenarios #stray kids #hyunjin #skz #hyunjin fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #kpop smut #mine.

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amysterywrappedinanenigma · 1 year

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Ranking (bullying) LD Curtain's season 2 fashion choices

Because even if the show seems to have forgiven him, I sure haven’t.

DISCLAIMER: This is in NO WAY criticizing the costume designers of this show- it couldn’t be farther from that. They’ve done an amazing job with every single piece in the show, and all of these fit Curtain’s personality and aesthetic perfectly. This is just me mocking the in-universe fashion choices that the character makes, because he needs to be bullied more. All lighthearted, all in good fun.

Disclaimer #2: I know literally nothing about fashion, please don’t attack me.

Okay, from least heinous to most heinous, here we go!

First up:

As much as it pains me to admit this. I actually. Really like this one. (”And if you told me I would never say something like that, well, I would never say something like that, but here we are.”) I think the silhouette is interesting, and all of the pieces come together well. Plus, in some of the tighter shots you can see that the fabric texture and detailing is really cool:

The leaves as clasps and that crinkly texture kind of really slap, and I really love the way the collar sort of wraps into the placket.

8 / 10

Interview outfit:

Wow, look! Another one that doesn't inspire immediate feelings of rage! We're doing so well.

This one isn't as visually interesting as the first outfit, but I do sort of like it. The collar folds create kind of a cool shape, and the grey accents under the top is a nice little contrast. I don't know how I feel about the zipper right below the collar, it's kind of a weird choice and might look better if it wasn't so visible, but I'll let it slide for this one since we have a much more heinous zipper situation coming up later.

I like the contrasting shades of blue with the button up shirt, and the lavender shirt he wears under it later in the episode, and the fact that part of the collar can kind of fold down to make a different shape.

6 / 10

Clown sleeves:

So the sleeves on this one are. kind of a lot. But they gain a couple of points for being the only thing in this outfit that really pops. They're sort of weird, but I can see the appeal of them standing out against the black vest, and being a pretty nice contrast that draws the eye.

5 / 10

Meh:

Time for the part of the post where I include 6 outfits that I just kind of don't have strong opinions on, mainly because they feel like pretty standard, decent outfits with no real reason to bat an eye at them.

The last image is saved on my computer as "are those your pajamas?" but. acceptable.

sure / 10

Dancy dance:

🧍‍♂️

I don't have much to say about this one other than, for some reason, the visual of him wearing tennis shoes makes me viscerally uncomfortable.

🤡 / 10

Elizabeth Holmes Chic:

He looks like a kid playing dress-up in their dad's giant overcoat, except someone let him go outside looking like this. I know oversized clothing items can be fashionable but here he's like drowning in it.

And then when he takes the coat off:

This maybe wouldn’t be a terrible outfit, it’s just so goddamn pretentious. He seems like he's trying to look like Steve Jobs, but ended up looking more like Elizabeth Holmes.

about to start another pyramid scheme / 10

Vacation dad (derogatory):

On someone else I might like this outfit, but on him it just looks so dumb. He looks like he's about to go skydiving with how much he's buttoned up. Better watch out or he could get carried away and spend 20 minutes unstrapping and unbuttoning it to reveal his fun little vacation shirt underneath! It's somehow stupidly formal and stupidly casual at the same time, and I just think it's a very silly little outfit. He's joining the army as penance for his fashion crimes. If you ask very very nicely he might tell you what's in his four huge, weirdly-placed pockets.

what's in the pockets / 10

And now.

We've arrived. We're finally here. The last one. The moment we've all been waiting for.

The worst of the worst:

I'll be honest, I don't really know where to start this one. There are too many things to choose from. Do I start with the weird asymmetrical pattern on the sleeves, with the red and blue stripes that aren't even made up of the same type of pattern?

Or maybe the fact that the buttons (and the piece of fabric they're attached to) ends too high above the neckline of the top layer?

Or we could talk about the fact that the top layer looks like one of those smocks you'd wear to get an x-ray at the dentist, made in a fabric that must have been rescued from the back of a fabric store after 50 years of not being bought.

I think by far the worst part is the length:

The fact that those strange little smock flaps go almost a foot past the zipper, halfway down to his knees. It swallows like 2/3rds of his body in this horrible block of grey fabric, and this man has the audacity to carry himself like it’s fashionable, instead of an assault on the senses.

I want to set it on fire. I want to burn him along with it. I want to gently take his tailor aside and ask if Curtain held him at knife point and made him design this monstrosity. TEAR IT TO PIECES, GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT, TURN IT INTO SCRAPS FOR SQ'S ART PROJECTS.

Anyway.

This outfit is such a menace to this world that I thought everyone should get a chance to tear it to shreds, so presenting, the communal roast:

“GROSS. SHUN.” -@mvshortcut

"prison chic. dentist x-ray chic. ugly." -@mysteriouseggsbenedict

“the terrible zip up vest that just keeps on going fucked a potato sack” -@bi-demon-ium

“runway model for the most pretentious fashion designer who ever lived” - @sqenthusiast

“Trying to be casual but also Better Than You. The definition of 'you really thought you did something there'” -@echo-delta

“Child with one of those books where you can draw clothes over top the shape of a person” -@mysteriouseggsbenedict

“Mr Curtain sir I don’t feel very happy looking at this. I think it’s a little counterproductive.” -@mvshortcut

Truly horrendous.

borrowing constance's acid to destroy the outfit and then clean the eyes of anyone who wants to forget they saw this monstrosity / 10

Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me, and as always, send the x-ray bib to hell.

#the mysterious benedict society #mbs disney #mbs #mysterious benedict society #ld curtain #this post has been in the works for a WHILE so I hope people enjoy it #we don't need to talk about how long it took me #this post really just devolves as it goes on #a portrait of me losing my mind #i could also scream about how much i love the costume design of other characters on this show #but this was the funnier option #on any other characters i would be complimenting them for their bold fashion choices (except for maybe the last one)#ledroptha curtain

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xenon-demon · 9 months

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ok so HI 👋 you're gonna get multiple of these by me because I wanna know everything. but first. I wanna know about the steddie soulmate tattoos because I looOOove a good soulmate fic??? 👀👀

LUIIIIIIII please ask as MANY questions as you want I love talking about all the different versions of steddie that exist in my brain 🤩 thanks so much for the question!!!

SO this is actually my First Ever Steddie WIP 🥲 and it was inspired by something I saw on Twitter where the make up artist who designed Eddie’s tattoos was like “yeah the bats tattoo is actually a reference to Steve and how both Steve and Eddie were chomped on by the demobats” and everyone was like "OMG STEDDIE SOULMATE TATTOOS REAL?" So I took that and ran with it lmao. The conceit of this soulmate universe is that a tattoo forms on your body the moment you fall in love with your soulmate, and the tattoo is in some way symbolic of that moment.

Eddie's tattoo is the bats, obviously, and Steve's tattoo is of Eddie's guitar, spanning the length of his ribcage on his left side. That tattoo appeared when Dustin gave Steve the play-by-play of The Most Metal Concert Ever™ while they were both in Eddie's hospital room waiting for him to wake up from his post-near-death-experience coma; Steve visualized Eddie doing that in all his glory, though about how Eddie saved Dustin's life, and then BAM. Soulmate tattoo. Dustin will never let him live it down.

Also Steve and Robin have a tattoo for each other because I refuse to write a soulmate AU where Stobin are not soulmates in some way, even if platonic soulmates are not a thing in universe <3 (although in this particular AU platonic soulmates ARE a thing)

Have a look under the cut if you'd like to see Eddie's POV of the moment he got his soulmate tattoo ;) (yes it's That Scene from canon because of course it is)

Send me an ask about my WIPs!

He stops short the moment his brain registers what’s happening in front of him. Steve Harrington, in all his shirtless glory, is currently wailing on that goddamned bat with nothing more than his bare hands. He’s got it by the tail and swings it around over his head before slamming it into the ground, grunting with the exertion of it. Before it has a chance to move, Steve swings it back up again and slams it back down just as hard. Even in the gloom of this nightmare realm, Eddie can see the way his muscles flex with the strain. It’s not like Steve’s muscles are difficult to spot, okay - for all jocks are the enemy, Eddie can respect an attractive man, and he’d certainly been respecting Steve’s athletic physique when he stripped off in the boat ten minutes ago. Seeing Steve shirtless and seeing Steve’s nicely toned upper body in action are two very different things, however, and Eddie most certainly was not prepared for the latter.

It doesn’t end there, though, because Steve’s next move is to step on the damn thing’s neck and pull its tail until its head tears clean off its body, with his bare hands. Eddie thinks he mentioned the ‘bare hands’ bit already, but fuck it, it bears repeating. Eddie’s just watching this happen, wide-eyed, when Steve fucking spits blood onto the bat’s corpse, leaving a string of sticky red fluid trailing from his lips. Holy shit, when did he bite that thing? He’s breathing hard, chest heaving from the adrenaline, and even though it’s on the chilly side his torso is shiny with sweat. Steve tilts his head back, mouth open and chest still heaving, and it makes the blood trailing from his mouth fall back against his chin. Eddie could almost pretend it’s something else dripping from those plush lips, if he tried, but he’s so buzzed from the adrenaline and the absolutely obscene display in front of him that he can’t quite make the fantasy consolidate.

It’s the hottest thing Eddie’s ever seen.

He doesn’t even get to enjoy it though, because as soon as he registers that thought in his brain, there’s a tingling sensation on his right forearm. It starts near the crease of his arm, and within a few seconds it’s spread outwards and down towards his wrist, about halfway down his forearm. The tingling starts to intensify, turns more into a warm, not-unpleasant burning sensation, and Jesus fucking Christ this had better not be what Eddie thinks it is.

#steddie #charlie writes things #steddie soulmate au #wip games #i too am OBSESSED with soulmate aus so of course this was the first thing i ever wrote for steddie #NOT ME REALISING AS I COPIED THIS SNIPPET FROM MY WIP DOCUMENT THAT I GOT THE WRONG FOREARM #EDDIE'S BATS ARE ON HIS RIGHT ARM NOT HIS LEFT AND I ACCIDENTALLY WROTE LEFT ORIGINALLY #i'm a fake fan :( i'm a poser :(

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29daffodils · 1 month

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

Augghh I love these games! thank you for tagging me Mickey 🥺🌸(@thisautistic)

3 Ships You Like :

1. Yohan/Moogyeong from The Shape of Your Love (manhwa by Park Nodeok)

this is my ultimate OTP. i never had OTPs before them. they'll be my rise and fall. but yeah, anyway. they. my boys.

2. Vegas/Pete from KinnPorsche The Series

they had me by the throat even before i knew kpts existed and just, well. then i watched kpts and found them and they were everything i hoped for and more. a lot of it is also because vegas and i are very much alike without the mass murder aspect 😂

3. Alan/Gaipa from Moonlight Chicken

listen, MLC is like, the best thing i've watched in a while and alangaipa gave me what i had been craving since yohan/moogyeong c. 2019 : a small rare/ghost ship with barely any screentime but that hooked people in worldwide. firstkhao's acting was just bonus. alangaipa represent everything that i want from my own life. i couldn't not love them.

First Ship Ever :

Kanata/Miyu from Da!Da!Da!

oh, these two. i was head over heels in love with them. i shipped them even when i didn't know that shipping existed or what it meant, when we didn't even have anime on TV besides the broadcast on SONY at 5pm sometimes. i just wanted them in love and happy and raising a kid together. ugh i miss them.

Last Song You Heard :

The Moon Represents My Heart, by the Moonlight Chicken cast! God do I love this song so much! It fits all the ships so well! The lyrics are gold! (I also recently found that this is a cover of the OG by Teresa Teng and that's even more beautiful??)

(also, this has been helping me visualize and write a lot of sand/ray, surprisingly enough.)

Favorite Childhood Book :

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

ahhh, well, this is embarassing. i didn't have a favourite book until adulthood actually. and it's my only favourite (as in something i've read time and again). i don't think i'll ever find another book like this one. this is it for me. nothing can ever top this. (yes, I'm very picky about my favourites lmao)

Currently Reading :

i found out this fic exists because of twitter discourse lmao, and I'm not even a dramione fan, i'll probably never read another work, but goddamn, the writing was stellar. lived up to all that hype. good stuff. (I'm almost at the end so wish me luck!)

Currently Watching :

Our Dining Table

no offence to those who love this, i loved the manga when i read it years ago, but lord was i bored to death even on the second trial at watching this lol. I'm soldiering on though, i'll get through this!

Currently Consuming :

Thai BLs

uhh... not sure what answer this demands actually, so, uhhh... lots of thai BL i guess? that's really what i've been consuming lately. i had never watched thai BLs before KPTS in 2023 so it's eye opening, they've gotten better ( i tried once before , quite a while back when a friend recommended, and i found it ridiculous so i never thought i'd actually ever watch any again lol, mostly because i never was a fan of live action BL dramas in general)

Currently Craving :

💵💵💵💵

well, i'll be honest here, money is vital and that's what I'm craving lol, i gotta feed myself and my cats and pay a 50k laptop repair bill that my company thrust on me even though it's not my fault it's damaged. anyway, essentially I'm experiencing financial doom among other unfortunate events, so here's your chance to commission a fic or donate at my KOFI so...... haha.

alright, this was super fun! I'm tagging @skyfish7 @semantics-error @justfionn @boyslovecorner @peachym00 @lilitblaukatz @ae-azile

(please feel free to ignore if you're feeling up to it!)

#tag game #my posts #source : 29daffodils

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electricbluebutterflies · 4 months

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Kabby + ❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

Post-s2-grayspace, PG-ish, also on ao3.

And here he’d thought she couldn’t get worse.

Marcus would not describe himself as someone who enjoys routines, but… he does, and most of his have been blown to hell in the past few weeks for various reasons, and one of the few things that held was his longtime nemesis and her strength of personality, and then that changed too, and then before he could process the change it got worse and she got sidelined, and now…

Abby has always been a nightmare, but right now she’s a cocooned nightmare with demands and he’s the only person self-destructive enough to keep an eye on her.

It has been two days of relative quiet, not enough for it to feel right at all but he’d spent almost all of the first one asleep next to her and he’ll process the strangeness of that situation later but-

Unfortunately for him, today she’s lucid and has processed that moving around is not going to be comfortable for another few days. Again, the only justification he has for sticking around is the number of failed sacrificial suicide attempts he’s had recently, and this feels like it’ll become another one, and-

They need to make this normal fast before one of them does something that can’t be undone, a possibility that looks all too likely with the two of them stuck in a small space until further notice. They’ll either finally kill each other or – possibly worse – screw, and both of those have been fun daydreams over the years but neither is actually a good idea and-

“I’m trying to fix your hair so hold still.”

Normal, Marcus thinks. As if they’ve ever pulled that off for more than five goddamned seconds and even that’s been painful.

“I don’t remember asking you to,” Abby hisses right back, and he’s seen that glare wound lesser souls but he’s been on the receiving end enough times to be immune so too bad and-

“You haven’t bothered to since-“

“You think that’s a valid reason to suddenly care about my grooming?”

“I am trying to distract you!”

And failing, clearly. Failing enough he wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to bite him again and yes the last time seemed like a plausible accident but the next will not be and-

“I did not ask you for that.”

“You don’t ask anyone for anything,” he mutters. “You try to do everything yourself and you end up-“

“Like you’re any better. At least I have people who care about me.”

And there are days he suspects a lot of that may be because of her preferred necklines, he thinks and will never say because he does like having all of his appendages attached to his body, but-

“So we’re both terrible at this. Maybe we can do better.”

“By each other?” she laughs. “You really are having a midlife crisis.”

She is… not and never wrong, and her ability to see and slice through him sure is something, and-

“Is that the worst thing in the world?”

“To the extent that you’re going to make it my problem, yes.”

He has no such intentions of burdening anyone with this, he wants to say, but-

Yes. Yes it will completely become her problem, because they’re what remains of a leadership structure and he cannot do anything without her and he’s accepted that need for the balance she gives him and-

“I don’t want it to be a problem.”

“What you want has a real habit of not-“

“Can you please just shut up so I can braid your hair?”

“I didn’t ask you to-“

“You aren’t physically stopping me, so-“

“Fine,” she sighs, and thankfully from this angle he can’t see what he knows is a good visual, and-

Oh, she’s going to be the end of him one way or another, he’s known it for thirty years and he’s more sure of it now than ever.

She does not manage to stay still – he’s pretty sure she’s incapable of it, she’s active in her sleep too and he has the bruises to prove it – but she’s at least still enough for him to twist her mess of hair into something that will stay out of her eyes, and it’s such a small goal here, and-

“Is that comfortable?”

“I can’t see what you did, so…”

“Reach back and feel?”

She does, starting at the top of her head and working down to the tips of her hair, down to where his fingers still linger and the slightest brush of skin is everything and-

“Actually not bad,” she murmurs. “You do occasionally surprise me.”

“I try.”

“Normally not good surprises, but…”

“Can you stop hissing for a minute and-“

“I’m trying to get used to this new version of you. Let me be weird about it.”

He’s trying to get used to it too, and he’s tempted to make a comment about how she has no idea what it’s like in his mind, but…

They’ll both get over this. Eventually. First they have to be what they are a little longer, apparently.

#ebf writes fic #kabby #queue

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realbeefman · 4 months

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Angus loyal follower here I love your posts I actually started reading hilson fic because of you even though I’ve never seen the show and I never will because once I heard Hugh lauries voice in a fancam and it was so unsexy also they filmed a lot of b roll at my school anyway Seeing your destiel post was so surprising to me please tell me more about your spn opinions I’m so curious I love discourse <3

very long answer so i’ve hidden it under a readmore for the sanity of casual dash scrollers and people who dont care

first off his american voice or his british voice? this is kind of controversial and may seem wild considering i spend a solid chunk of time thinking about what house would be like during sex but i ACTUALLY find him deeply unattractive. i’d love to have his face and wear his skin but never in my life would i consider him a sexual being. he’s too british for it. the only way british people can be sexy is if they are women this is my most political belief on foreign policy. however i do think hugh laurie’s AMERICAN voice is actually very normal and makes him very endearing to me. hilson fic is awesome but honestly!!! most hilson fic for me just does not hit the same unless u can visualize the creepiness with which house looks at wilson. it’s genuinely sickening. he talks about wilson in the softest voice. so many of the most iconic lines in the show just dont HIT the same if u dont listen to the way they’re delivered.

that is SO cool that they shot b roll at ur school though!!! honestly seems like a dream. if i knew i had walked the same halls the house film team had i think i would die. the camerawork on that show is just fucking PHENOMENAL. i could write entire essays fangirling over how they shoot certain scenes but i fear that would be chronically desperately boring

oh man my supernatural opinions… first off disclaimer i have not seen supernatural recently because i am a deeply paranoid individual and prone to delusions and when i first watched the show i genuinely convinced myself that the monsters were real so. i think my most controversial spn opinion would have to be that it’s a PSYCHOLOGICAL THREAT. have you ever met a normal supernatural fan? NOBODY HAS. BECAUSE THE SHOW DRIVES PEOPLE NUTS

other than that my opinions are pretty normal i thiunk. i actually dont have anything at all against destiel even though i am solidly on the wincestie side of fandom. i dont care for the ship and i think it sucks but OBJECTIVELY its a good ship and has strong canon support. i think my hatred comes because i have read SO many destiel fics and have yet to come across a genuinely good one that accurately portrays the characters. i dont understand why an objectively reasonable ship with strong canon support has created some of the middest fic ive ever read in my life. genuinely fascinating. it’s not even that the fic itself is not good or entertaining it just doesn’t feel anything like the actual canon dean and castiel! i have read like two genuinely entertaining destiel fics that felt realistic and BOTH were from authors who primarily write samdean so!!

other controversial spn opinions i have. the “chuck is god” stuff is by far the most entertaining late seasons retcon. objectively ridiculous but so goddamn amusing. i think season 8 and the leviathans was the peak of supernatural. by far the best season in my opinion. plotwise it was not the most believable but i strongly believe that what makes a story good is not it’s logical soundness nor it’s objective value but whether it is ENTERTAINING and COMPELLING and by god the leviathans were both of those things. what a season. also benny and dean were having sex. i loved castiel going insane. OH and i think endverse spn is overhyped both as an episode and in fanon! i did not understand what endverse referred to for so long because i couldnt comprehend that SO MANY PEOPLE could possibly by THAT fanatic over a very mid episode.

not a controversial opinion but rowena is hot. she should've been in every episode for this reason alone. last semester i set up an office meeting with my professor who looked JUST like her to shoot my shot and she literally died before the meeting could happen. i've always felt in my heart that these are related.

#ty for the ask dearest!! much to chew on and think about #house md #supernatural #ask #cw incest mention

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vivelarevolution13 · 17 days

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Hiiii, I’m here with some ask game things!

🦴🌸 pretty please!

Hiii, tysm for the ask! <3 🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? Oh god, this is such a fun and insanely difficult question. I truly apologize in advance for how long this is about to get because I'm blanking and also can't pick a single thing to save my life. I feel like I'm still in the beginning of trying to figure style out so inspirations keep changing, but right off the bat Richard Siken was a big one that's recently made a comeback. Pretty revelatory to little me at 15 and still very much an influence many, many years later, especially when it comes to poetry. There's just something to how he weaves his wording from tender to violent + that dream-like, stream of consciousness structure, striking visuals about relatively mundane things and a consistent thread of hope and wonder despite the darkness throughout that I find just lovely. Kurt Vonnegut is also a big nostalgic classic from those formative years. Still very much love the tongue-in-cheek humor and the roundabout storytelling of an eccentric old uncle used to address very real and often grim topics in a very human, grounded way. Just about anything that deals with non-linear time, dreams and memory, too. Everything by Tarkovsky, even though I feel like an absolute asshole bringing his genius up while talking about my writing hobby, let alone my silly little fics, but listen, I was a film major. What can you do. Forever enamored with that man's work.

(Dialing it back a little: I'm also rewatching Russian Doll which does memories and trauma reconciliation and the surreal really well while also juggling humor. It's still somewhat painful, but at least it's also very fresh and funny and very full of life. Would love to be able to write a script with that combo one day.)

In terms of some of the general stuff that extends to fanfic-inspiring as well, I'll always have a soft spot for Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay for many, many reasons. It's beautiful, it's sharp, it's creative! It's a (very) sprawling love letter to the Golden Age of comics and the very ongoingly relevant origins of Captain America! To New York in the 30s-50s! To youth and ideas and intersecting identities and illusions of escape and found family! To coming of age and hope and grief in the face of a rapidly complicating world! To meticulous, meticulous historical research! Michael Chabon, I'm in your goddamn walls. Throw in some basic staples of the WWII mini-series genre, + Babylon Berlin and Chernobyl and a bunch of MKUltra paranoia thrillers for fun times with WS-centered darker undertones and political elements re: the '30s and Cold War era, and there you have it. So that is... way too many things off the top of my head and none of them are necessarily all that reflected in my writing yet, however! They do inspire me. 🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

yes I do! They’re dumbasses in two completely different ways (can you tell?) and the absolute bane of my existence. And I would die for them, I really would.

wish I had some better photos but I cleared out my phone recently :(

#god. anyway #sorry this took a hot second!#i was working all day. and thanks again<3 #asks #dharmasharks #ask game

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minusboy · 23 days

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11 & 13, and let's throw in 2 and 23 for funsies <3

squish<3

(i'm putting this under read more because it's kind of a long one)

11. with characters i want to write more in the future this kunikida scene (i keep giving him cameos like a coward)

”Fine,” Chuuya says, curiosity winning over caution, opening the door a fraction more to let the man in, and watches as he toes off his shoes, leaving them neatly lined up on the genkan and then removes his jacket. ”Do you want coffee, tea?” Chuuya asks with a sigh. ”Tea, please. Green, if you have some, but rooibos is fine as well. With a little bit of honey, if possible,” Kunikida says. Chuuya just barely refrains from commenting that there’s a perfectly fine cafe downstairs as well if he wants to be so goddamn fussy about it. ”Alright,” he says and takes a box of green tea from the cupboard and clicks the kettle on, tapping an idle pattern on the counter while he waits for the water to boil. Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Do not- ”What instrument?” Chuuya asks, unable to help himself, and mentally berates himself.

13. that helped me understand a character better this scene from bleeding heart dove

”Does this hurt?” Chuuya asks, barely louder than a whisper, fingertips pressed against a particularly sore bruise. ”No,” Dazai says quietly, holding back a gasp. It’s a lie, a selfish one. He doesn’t want Chuuya to stop touching him quite yet. Seeming satisfied, Chuuya nods but he doesn’t let go of his hand, but instead continues drawing idle patterns on his wrist with the pad of his thumb. The human hand has 27 bones including the carpal bones and Dazai would gladly let Chuuya break each and every one of them in exchange for his forgiveness. Finally, Chuuya seems to snap out of it. ”Just…” he says and pulls his hand back, instead reaching for his drink and takes a sip and then falters. Chuuya, who’s usually so much larger than life, looking so uncharacteristically hesitant and suddenly so utterly out of place here in his dimly lit kitchen. He takes a breath, the mask slipping right back into place. ”Take care of yourself, alright,” he finishes quietly, a sense of finality to his words. ”Let those agency idiots help you every now and then,” he says, although he sounds almost fond as he says it, the corner of his mouth twitching.

23. that was inspired by a work from another medium (music, visual art, dance, etc.)

this whole damn thing.

+2. that makes me laugh from untitled (if you get the reference i give you a kiss)

”What were you doing out here anyway?” Dazai asks, doing his seatbelt after a pointed look cast his way. Seriously… Chuuya shrugs ”I was just feeding the ducks.” ”The ducks?” Dazai asks, incredulous ”The ducks?” ”I’m sorry, is there an echo in here?” ”That’s so…” Dazai starts. ”What?” Chuuya snaps. ”Cute.” ”Shut up,” Chuuya says, jabbing his finger vaguely in his direction while not taking his eyes off the road. ”Not another word.” After a moment he dares to ask: ”What do you feed ducks anyway?” ”Seeds, mostly,” Chuuya says without hesitation. ”Peas.”

#...i've had kunichuu(zai) brainworms recently #maybe you can tell #for 23 could've answered any of my works.. i wear my influences on my sleeve #ask games

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kwonzoshi · 1 year

Note

I’m back with another question!! What were your top 5 moments in a BL.

It could be the moment you went from “I kinda like this show to I love this show so much” or like moments that made you swoon.

AAAH I'm excited to do this but also ONLY FIVE?! You're killing me, Nonnie hahaha

5.) NueaToh shrine discovery/confession. This did not go the way I thought it would and it was so perfect and emotional. Nuea was so open and vulnerable with Toh. The tears that I cried. This scene was just... incredible. The way they reassure each other and just the LOVE here... beautiful [Secret Crush on You].

4.) "Let's go." When I tell you I SCREAMED when Taekyung took Shinwoo's hand in that moment. Shinwoo was already waiting for him to reject him again and his FACE when he didn't. Call an ambulance for me because I was ready to PASS OUT [Light On Me].

3.) The hair drying scene. UGH. Something about them being so DOMESTIC kills me. Porsche being the absolute sweetest thing. The way that Kinn was looking up at him with so much adoration. And the conversation was also so sweet and intimate. I felt like I was interrupting something [KinnPorsche].

2.) Ji Woo's confession. Gods this was GUT WRENCHING. Him finally being honest about his feelings and fears. Trying to make things better by cooking Seo Joon's favorite meal. The tears, the intensity of his emotions... And when he walked up to him and clutched his cardigan? I started SOBBING. AND THE HUG?! PLEASE MY HEART WAS IN SHAMBLES [To My War 2].

1.) Pluem and Kevin still having their tuna can rings after 3 years of being apart. This TORE ME UP. Pluem's FACE when he realized Kevin was wearing it?! My gods... They loved each other so goddamn much, even after all of those years. Them having the "rings" was just a visual and representation that their love never went away or dimmed. Ugh, I LOVE THIS MOMENT SO MUCH. I can't even describe it [Ghost Host, Ghost House].

Thank you so much for asking this, even though it took me a couple of days to come up with this list.

#secret crush on you #secret crush on you the series #nueatoh #light on me #light on me the series #shinwoo x taekyung #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #to my star 2 #to my star 2 the series #seo joon x ji woo #ghost host ghost house #ghost host ghost house the series #pluemkevin #kwonzoshi answers

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euphorial-docx · 1 year

Text

my final thoughts on shadow and bone season 2 as someone that hasn’t read the books:

entertaining, which is what every show needs to be, so they’ve got that down.

the pacing was a bit… strange. season 1’s pacing was slightly off, but it is more prominent this time. it felt very fast, as if there wasn’t any down time; almost every scene was quick and important, but goddamn it i want to breathe and get to know the characters more!

my favorite storyline were the crows, of course, and then alina and mal’s whole thing was good but started to weaken near the end, but the darkling’s side was just so boring. sorry ben barnes.

the action sequences had their moments, but a lot of them fell kind of flat to me. i hope next season they polish it a little more and get rid of those damn slow-mos and sped-up bits. it made the action look worse, not better.

the positives: the outfits slayed. very pretty. the sets also mostly slayed, but i feel like the cinematography made it look cheaper than it was. idk what it is about this season, but it’s way less visually interesting than season one. although maybe that’s just me, because i really value a pretty looking frame over nearly everything else.

the actors were amazing. not a single complaint about them. freddy carter and daisy head were the standouts, as we can all agree, but it was a strong ensemble yet again! the new additions to the cast were great and fit right in, which is a good feat for me because it usually takes a while for me to warm up to new characters.

i’m hoping next season the pacing is evened out a bit more and the characters get more time to show their personalities and to develop more. and i want improved action scenes, please.

overall… 6.5/10. a small step down from season 1, but i’m hopeful they can come back better. season 3 is almost always the best seasons for shows, so here’s to hoping!

#mary watches s&b #my reign of terror has ended

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dwn024 · 1 year

Text

also i am no longer enjoying this group project whatsoever cuz i already compromised my initial story idea cuz one person preferred to do a peaceful thing instead of the fight scene i originally intended which like. fine but apparently i also have to cut out a whole goddamn scene that had some of my favorite shots and poses and expressions in it cuz when i missed class last week the rest of the group got feedback that was like “well why does the robot even need to go back onto the boat” IT’S A FUCKING CONFRONTATION FOR THE PURPOSE OF CATHARSIS MORON if he Doesn’t go back onto the boat those motherfuckers just never show back up again and it isn‘t as Satisfying. maybe i can change it to something where like he goes back up to try to Persuade them but Fails and then just decides fuck it fuck you he’s staying in the goddamn ocean or whatever who cares.

but i don’t even give a shit about this goddamn short at all anymore i do Not want to be given the director credit the story is nothing the character designs i have seen so far are nothing everyone’s like “oh if you’re doing the music we should have all the animation sync to it too like your last semester film then we don’t have to do sound effects^_^” but First Off the fucking tone this project is stuck at in its current state does Not suit “music to sync animation to” because there is no goddamn action it’s all slow paced and peaceful the music would be at most background ambience TO SOUND EFFECTS!!!!!!!! and second off I WANT TO DO SOUND EFFECTS!!!!!!!! it’s only cuz my assistant sound guy was like “eh i’m not Super into sound design i kinda want to minimize all the work i have to do in that regard^_^” THEN JUST LET ME HANDLE ALL THE GODDAMN SOUNDS ASSHOLE!!!!!!!! I LIKE DOING SOUND DESIGN I LOVE SOUND EFFECTS GIVE IT TO ME!!!!!!!! my last semester project could’ve just been ALL music NO sound effects but i INTENTIONALLY made it a shifting diagesis thing JUST SO I COULD DO SOUND EFFECTS FOR FUN!!!!!!!!

tangentially related i feel like the only person in this group who is actually like semi serious about having a cohesive vision and i DON’T want to be the director i would rather be following someone Else’s cohesive vision, but every goddamn time we get asked who’s our director everyone else immediately just goes “oh we’re all playing a pretty equal role so like everyone is the director^_^” which is the biggest fuckin wishy washiest red flag i have ever fucking heard, the way “we” fuckin came up with the plot was literally just i said please can we do something with robots that is literally all i care about. and assistant sound guy went “oh good idea let’s everyone just list off some shit we all like and we can put them all together^_^” and One Other Person said “well i kinda like drawing coral reefs” so bam now we’re doing something in the ocean. but even when we did the drawing straws type brainstorming i was the only one that actually tried to incorporate the One Other Thing That Got Suggested???? everyone else just went “here is an unpassionate vaguely science fiction kinda idea that is extremely derivative and also doesn’t even have a clear fucking conflict or plot”. AND i’m the only one that’s been suggesting art direction things like before that everyone just went “oh we all have pretty different art styles so let’s everyone draw something and pick one of our preexisting art styles to work with so nothing looks cohesive whatsoever^_^” and if i hadn’t brought up supergraphic ultramodern the fucking art direction would have been NOTHING!!!! and i am the guy that brought up the “oh the colors should be more muted and grey on the boat but more vibrant and colorful the deeper underwater you get towards the reef” and i am the one that brought up the “if we’re doing this 70s type visual style the music should have 70s type synths too” and i am the one that went “the robot could look like one of those old timey diving suits but with a screen face that can act like a fishbowl” VS one of the character designers AFTER I BROUGHT THAT UP literally just drawing a fish head on some generic boring armor. and i am the one that suggested changing the ending to be more peaceful to accommodate for the one guy that did not want to do something violent because the alternative was my idea Wouldn’t get picked and we would do one of the boring ones that didn’t have a plot and were derivative space faring alien scifi BULLSHIT

wow i did not realize i had a lot to rant about this fuckin group project. tl;dr i am so glad part of the assignment includes a reflection where you get to critique your team cuz i am so gonna talk shit on everyone else for having less spine THAN THE NOTORIOUSLY SPINELESS GUY!!!!!!!!

#plus i can’t even like complain about my group to anyone in class cuz i don’t have friend also that’s a jackass douchebag move #but someone else i am slightly acquaintances with has been complaining nonstop about not liking his group since the day they got assigned #which i think is DOUBLY a dick move cuz one of his group members is the closest thing i have to a friend who i would’ve LOVED to work with

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prompt-master · 2 years

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please please PLEASE spill your thoughts about a V3 rewrite!!!

I have a lot of thoughts regarding some v3 rewrites but we'll stay simple here and talk about some concepts surrounding Saihara and how to better portray his character.

Saihara is a fantastic character with an interesting arc and generally the concepts of his character thematically are great. But often times the writing and game play does not do him justice.

One reason for this, in my opinion, is that the game treats him like Akamatsu, Hinata, and Naegi. They treat him like a normal, good protagonist. But he ISN'T. Saihara is a support character who was forced against his will to take on being the protagonist, which means the game should use that.

Because Saihara has no real will of his own. From the beginning, he takes on Akamatsu's will. And afterwards he is impacted by Momota's will. And even Ouma and Harukawa's. Saihara, unlike our other protagonists, does not need aid with finding the clues, he needs a MOTIVATOR.

this is why often times it can be frustrating playing as Saihara: because he is a detective. I think it's fair to say he is the most frustrating of the bunch, because unlike the others he IS an expert in solving mysteries. It can make Saihara feel very dumb at times (for me, this frustration showed most in ch5 lol).

The problem here is that the writers FORGOT the reason WHY Saihara struggles to solve mysteries. It's not for difficulty solving mysteries, but entirely because of his mental health.

Saihara is a character built around dependency issues and the wills of other people, and this could be used fantastically to make the ending more satisfying. Throughout the game, there could be an increase in pressures from the others who entirely rely on Saihara, and an increase in pressure from the people who SAIHARA entirely relies on to function. It could all explode in chapter 6, where Saihara just completely breaks.

All the wills that he had taken to heart, all the people he has been working and living for even though he's wanted to die this entire time: suddenly none of it even matters. The major plot twist doesn't even change his mental image of Akamatsu! She's still the same person he thought she was at the end of ch1. So what good did the truth do for him here, besides cause more pain? What good did the truth do for Akamatsu? She fucking died for THIS truth? All this does is further reinforce Saihara's believe that Akamatsu herself taught him to abandon: the truth is pointless because it always hurts.

Of course he breaks. Of course the first will of his own after all this time is "this entire thing is bullshit." He is finally being his own person, not relying on others, and not caring about those relying on him. He's "fake" but goddamn, did all of this hurt still. They were still people, and that's why he just wants this shit done for real. He won't play into the "good" or "bad" ending, he never even wanted to be the protag in the first place.

Now imagine this in terms of gameplay: Saihara after investigating understands the mystery, but doesn't express it to the player so that we can still figure it out. Instead, when he says incorrect answers it entirely has to do with his stress and anxiety, which furthers said emotions. We could have something similar to Hintata's breakdown in ch6, where the trials visuals and difficulty is aligned with how stressed Saihara is. Text gets harder to read, it becomes harder for him to concentrate, the three way debates could be the result of sensory overload making it more difficult to think, ect.

This could explain why the trials get more difficult as time goes on for Saihara. We could switch it so that he takes on EVERYONES will. Not just his motivators, but also those who have died. I can see Saihara being inspired by the last wills of Toujo and Hoshi and Gonta and Angie and Chabashira ect. As the game progresses not only is he taking on more mental stress trying to juggle and satisfy these mental wills, but he's also having to handle the way the living overly rely on him to solve the trials. It further damages his mental stress, and makes things so much harder.

That could explain why he had such a difficult time catching on in ch5. Think of how much would be going on at that point! He's lost his real motivator after a massive break up, and the temporary one (harukawa) is under her own intense duress and acting irrationally too. Saihara's character in this chapter particularly could have been heavily benefitted by mention of Akamatsu: who's will imparted on saihara was to find the truth no matter how much it hurt. Of course he doesn't realize he SHOULDNT solve this mystery. He's too busy thinking of satisfying his promise to her. He's so blinded by this desire that hes been LIVING that he doesnt realize how bad the truth is here.

In other words: saihara should have been a character that utilized the build up of dependency issues and mental stress to its advantage. The build up is all there. It IS. but for some reason the game doesnt properly utilize it and often times it can make saihara and the game feel weak. Especially with how the game will go hot and cold on saiharas confidence (which could work, if used well due to his reliance on motivators, but felt more like inconsistency in the game)

#ask #danganronpa #drv3 #ndrv3 #drv3 spoilers #ndrv3 spoilers #feel free to ask clarifying questions cuz its hard to get all the thoughts out randomly and i have MORE lmao #anyway i also think this could be used to make yumeno an interesting parallel of saihara (personally i think harukawa shouldve died sorry)#she is someone who also took on the wills of other people and relied on others for motivation #but the difference is that it affected her postively #because the diffference is that yumeno KNEW who she was and she KNEW her emotions but never acknowledged them until it was too late #so now she is living as herself as strongly as she can while using her friends wills to continue oushing her forward #while saihara REPLACES his own empty will with others and instead of using that as motivation he is trying to satisfy and please others #hes not acting for himself #hes just acting because its the role hes pushed into

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