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dallonwrites · 10 months

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LOVER BOY - WIP INTRO

[ lover boy by @dallonwrites / sfgate / tumblr user catilinas / lover boy | little weirds by jenny slate / lover boy / hellraiser (1987) / manhunter (1986) / the lost boys (1987) / lover boy ] this post has alt text.

disclaimer: this is my own original work

Genre: Literary that wishes it were horror Setting: San Francisco, 1987/88 Aesthetics: fake blood, uncanny SFX in old horror movies, grainy home videos, a deeply orange sunset, retro arcade games, an empty mall, overripe fruit, anatomical heart models, heart shaped candles, leather jackets, rolling fog, the moon in the ocean, bowling alleys, red lights, trying to see a ghost in the hallway, real blood, mixtapes from former lovers, nightclub bathrooms, vampire fangs, neck kisses Summary: Sometimes, to cope with change and unpredictability, Beau likes to pretend he's the protagonist of a blood-soaked horror movie. And all he's ever wanted is a lover. But after the death of his childhood best friend he retreats into himself - frustrated at love and frustrated that Bobby hasn't haunted him the way he promised to - until he's jolted back by former friends needing his help with a movie project, an ex lover returning as new ones find new ways to hurt him, his friends and his community getting sicker, and a near death experience that comes with the urgency to record everything around him whilst he still can. The more that happens, the more he tries to find ghosts around him. The more times he sees blood on his hands, the more painful his old coping mechanism becomes, as his thoughts become less and less tasty.

what if you were autistic but you didn't know it because it's the 1980s and your special interest is horror movies and sometimes your brain feels a little bit blood-soaked but it's okay because it feels good! it makes you feel better, right? but then your best friend dies and also you lose the closest person you had to a lover and you wonder if you've wasted your time obsessing over romance but you don't have time to think about it because life keeps happening and nobody seems to care that your community is dying and no matter how hard you try you never see a ghost in the hallway or the bathroom mirror like you want to, and then your lover comes back but he's different, and so are you, and you really want to stop looking death in the eye, so you try to capture everything around you on your video camera to show that you were here, we were here and we're alive, and your queerness is your heartbeat and all you want to do in this life is love, so that's what you do, despite everything, whatever that love looks like, even when everything gets louder and brighter and too much to bare and you're starting to get scared by the blood in your thoughts

I call this "the culmination of my growing obsession with horror and the undergrad dissertation I wrote on how the AIDS crisis functions in queer narratives". I think it's my favourite thing I've started in a long time! There's so much flesh to this story that I haven't even dug my hand as deep into it as I could go. It's fun, it's silly, it's raw, it's sweet, it's emotional, it's complicated, it's a bit bloody, it's theatrical, it's trying it's best. It doesn't take itself too seriously but it's also crying in the bathtub you know

Characters (just a few otherwise this would get way too long)

Beau (he/him) the bestest boy in the whole world. Someone pleeeease take him to a farmers market on a chilled Sunday afternoon

Benji (he/him) Beau's little brother who Beau thinks is the bestest boy in the whole world. Even though he loves bugs and dirt and wants to be a shark when he grows up

Bobby (he/him) dead but before he died he thought being a ghost would be so fun. It'd be so much easier to sneak up on Beau! He could finally go to Fire Island! He loved handmaking jewellery and wanted to be a volcanologist.

Felix (he/him) the ex lover! He's doing sooo much better since the last time you saw him! Hey why is he crying in that movie theatre bathroom

Tiff (she/they) Beau's old friend and roommate. Tattoo artist who collects eye shaped decor and broken rotary phones. Lesbian/gay solidarity is the backbone of this novel.

Dorothy (she/her) In love with the moon and acrylic paints. What if you bumped into your ex boyfriends twin sister and feel like you shouldn't get involved but then you remember she's realllyyy fun to talk shit about people with?

#who peeped the hannibal/red dragon reference at the end of the summary LOL #wip intro #lover boy #long post #ALSO i will be reblogging a version of this with text image descriptions later today #THIS IS SOOO MUCH DIFFERENT TO WHEN I INTRODUCED THIS PROJECT LAST YEAR LOLLL #i deleted that post but remember when this was the Beaulix novel? now it's just Beau!#this is by far the most fun take on grief ive done in my writing about grief to cope with my own era #i read this wip intro and i remember 2020 when i created beau and he was just meant to be a guy that liked surfing and gave felix weed #and look where we are now

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dallonwrites · 7 months

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beau describing a man he hates' laughter as syrupy because that's a normal and hateful way to describe a man's laughter (a man who you hate. btw.)

#i've realised the key component to enemies to lovers beaulix is that they are very obviously attracted to each other since day one #they just dont talk about it because besides that they are getting on each other's nerves always!!!!

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dallonwrites · 8 months

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16. 29. & 48. for the ship ask game!! 🙏🏿

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

Omggg I actually don't think they would seriously like I think if they actually did it would be an impulsive drunk decision in their shared ~reckless~ era with not much thought put into it 😭 they'd wake up together and realise they both have some shit like just MADONNA <3 tattooed on their wrists

29. Describe their nighttime routine.

Okayy one thing I am excited for with RR book 3 that I haven't fully figured out yet is that Beau and Felix live together then and! The potentials for domestic night routines!! I don't know what it looks like but I feel like it's quiet. I need to know their dish cleaning routine and what shows they're watching. But in lieu of a specific answer for that here's Beau wandering about routine in a Lover Boy flashback of the first night they spent together (cw for sex but I don't think it's NSFW just ~sensual):

Felix fell asleep first, and Beau knew he wouldn’t sleep much, the room still unfamiliar even in its welcoming, but he found himself content to lay there like this, cuddled against the coolness, his fingers curled into Felix’s hair. He found it easy to lay there, familiarise himself with the rhythm of it, and wonder if this was all going to be a routine, going home together. Going out together knowing they would then go home. The wine and the new records, soft arguments over which song was better, Felix’s animated excitement over a bridge, an arrangement of synth. Making each other laugh in that sharp way, where you’ll never remember what it was all about but just the laughter, collapsing into one another. The kissing, all the kissing, across their hushed bodies, finding new ways to press together, the quiet fucking amongst the ambience of this carbonated city, where they can hear the outside but the outside can’t hear them, can’t hear Felix’s breath hot and urgent at his ear, whispering God, you’re everything, you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. He’d kept his window open, cool air gauzed around them, because he must have known, how Beau falls asleep better with the window open, and he must have remembered being told that, found it important, even though Beau does not remember admitting it.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

In RR it is a very important point that they do NOT talk about it, not intentionally avoiding it but like, in RR their relationship is a lot more intense and obsessive and very present driven, especially because they're also leaning on each other as a means to try and avoid all the things happening around them + in the future that they can't control. Meanwhile in Lover Boy all the things they were scared of happening back then have already happened and being on the other side of all that + knowing how they behaved before has them. a bit more considerate of these things! So there's probably going to be a lot of dialogue just talking about future possibilities and I think it'll contrast RR in that they actually find it comforting/grounding to do so

ship ask game

#last line of that excerpt might make more sense w the context that felix does Not like to sleep w the window open #one thing about me is i love when verbs like fucking are juxtaposed with the softness of emotionally driven intimacy #also i think when i talk about beaulix it's important to know the different flavours of beaulix #RR beaulix is like. beautiful friendship for half the book and then codependent loveboming obsession in the second half #their relationship is definitely not healthy but like. not malicious. they dont realise that they're hurting each other until the end #(the beaulix fight at the end of RR....it's messy and i only know a bit of it!)#LB beaulix is like. almost scared of their yearning for one another but they don't really run away from it. really delicate #and then WS beaulix is like i dont even know they claim to find each other so annoying but then they just end up having angry sex 🙄#anyway i love them! thank you!#ask games #lover boy

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dallonwrites · 1 year

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[When Dorothy leaves her room she notices the kitchen light is still on. Felix is curled on the couch, asleep, still in the jacket he must’ve worn outside. He’s too tall for the space and his back will grown in the morning. She does not wake him up. Instead she places a blanket over him - a rainbow crotchet Jolie found at a market during their first summer here, that she purchased with her first pay check. The gesture is gentle and unremarkable. He does not stir and in the morning they will not talk about this. She knows he went outside to smoke and she knows which pocket the cigarettes are tucked into. When she swipes them, he doesn’t stir. Sound asleep. She knows he will notice their absence and that they will not talk about this in the morning, but Felix will glare at her across the breakfast table and fiddle with a stolen sugar sachet instead of a lighter, won’t know what to do with his hands. They will not talk about this but also, they won’t need to. In his sleep, her brother pulls the blanket closer to him. Felix always manages to be both delicate and jaded. They will not talk about this.]

don’t know what the context of this chapter was meant to be but i’m eating up the sibling dynamic

#i think i finally got through the beaulix docs hehe #the blanket thing could have been choreographed better but still solid sibling dynamic here. the caregiving but also the intrusion but also #the familiarity #im having too much fun reading these #i think they deserve a tag #dallons old writing #im impressed though i can recycle way more of this into the reboot than i originally though

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dallonwrites · 2 months

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want 2 write lover boy so bad but im at work 💔 i notes app write on my phone sometimes but i actually feel grounded in the chronological draft so i don’t feel like i can write what i want to write without having the doc with everything on it 💔 i could develop a scene to write for funsies but idk what 💔

#there’s some fun beaulix I can do but I want my best friend bobby rn

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thelostboys87 · 2 months

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btw my funniest moment today was getting to the bottom to the lover boy tag and getting reminded of how before i understood bobbys significance lover boy was meant to be a dual pov about beau and felix’s love story. amazed to find out it was still that this time last year bc i know bobby was first conceptualised around this time last year, and he and beau were always friends from the beginning bc i needed him to be connected to all the characters, but i didn’t realise then that they would be Best Friends the way they are now. and im realising i can’t remember when that was understood but it’s so funny seeing this me writing earnest lover boy felix pov writing knowing there is a countdown until i decide i don’t want to play with him anymore and felix gets demoted to side character in the name of the best friend narrative. it’s so funny literally lover boy was made to be THE beaulix spin off and then i met bobby and he hijacked the whole thing 😭😭😭😭

#genuinely don’t know what lover boy would be without bobby though #like there was no way beaulix would hold up as the MAIN plot it works so clearly better as a side plot

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dallonwrites · 10 months

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(chapter 3 vs chapter 4 flashback) what is it with you two and wanting to climb inside of beau's chest

#yeah i missed that weird little man and now im working on the beaulix flashback

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dallonwrites · 2 years

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[image description: a picture of a snow forest with evergreen trees. the photo is dark and tinted a slight blue. in the middle, in a white serif font reads in all caps “WINTER’S SLAUGHTER”. at the bottom of the photo, in all lowercase reads “nano update #1” /end id]

Winter’s Slaughter – Nano Update #1

Word Count: 15,262

Goal: Originally wasn’t planning to write 50k but now I really want to try!

Feeling: A bit burnt out but also kinda euphoric. I need to slow down my word count but also this story has awoken something in me <3 I love her

Here’s my fave excerpt of the week! Check under the cut for more excerpts + lots and lots of ramblings on my process this week!

But he also likes the quietness in summer’s ending. Summer to autumn is like a gentle breeze, a chance to inhale. Besides everything, at least there’s space to breathe before the brutality of the cold. Because unlike summer’s slow, delicate ending, autumn always darkens into winter like a candle, snuffed by someone else’s hand.

nano is really weird this year but i’m still having fun

That’s really all I can say at first! Like, this is Not a normal month for me. I had a very life-changing event happen recently and I’ve been v lucky to be able to take most of November off to navigate that and recuperate (would not have been able to do this without some extremely generous donations, if you were one of those people I am so so grateful and will be reaching out personally soon <3). So whilst the circumstances, really, really suck, I also do have a lot of “free time.” I’m not trying to think about productivity or use that as measure of strength/success but having a personal project is very comforting and having a tangible goal like Nano brings some much needed structure. I don’t want to take that for granted and I think I will back on this draft very fondly <3

Anyways, besties, one thing you’ve gotta know about me is that I am Not good with novels. Like, I’ve only ever gotten to 30/35k in a first draft. A couple months ago I was actually considering giving up and thought I just “wasn’t meant to be” a novelist. But I love novels, especially this one.15k is also where I burnt out during my last Nano attempt and is the furthest I’ve got during NaNoWriMo specifically. So like, I’m a little bit amazed, because whilst I’m a bit burnt out I can see myself finishing this book at some point. There’s just so much I want to say and do with it I’ve barely scratched the surface! And I think letting go of being a published novelist helped as well, I do want to be published one day but not with any of the current novel ideas I have and certainly not that one. I think that’s really lifted the pressure off.

Anyways, because of said Circumstances you’ll see that my word count is pretty up and down. I’m writing my progress day by day so I can keep plot stuff to myself, and also because I wrote non-linearly this week.

day one

My only goal was to write more than 1667 because I felt that if I didn’t do that on the first day I’ll find it harder to do on the rest of the days. I’ll also use this section to talk a bit about the plot premise so we’re on the same page! WS follows two communities that live on the opposite ends of a dense, confusing forest. Both communities were in a pretty nasty conflict, but the aggressors on either side are long gone and both communities are trying to heal. They both agree that conflict benefits nobody and they need to maintain some kind of harmony to protect themselves and the forest they share, which they believe gives them a great deal of protection. However, there are still a lot of personal grudges and distrust between certain people, which they’ll have to confront when Plot EventsTM force both communities to work together.

Also, whilst we’re here, WS is an AU in the sense that whilst it has many original characters, the main characters are from my other WIP Revelations, Revelations. There’s not really any plot similarity between the two at all besides character relationships. The only notable thing is that, like in RR, Felix and Dorothy grew up on a Christian commune that was starting to drift into cult territory. The group they’re apart of are based on that commune and are trying to distance themselves from its past.

Not gonna lie, my description and internal narrative prose feels so clunky, which I suspected with fast drafting but also, description and internal narrative is usually what comes the quickest and easiest for me so it was a little ?? but I’m mainly chalking it up to brain fog and a weird mental state. I’m not too bothered and am just trying to immerse in the story and get it done in whatever way works. I do plan to edit this after the first draft bc I love editing and I think it’ll be SO much fun. A lot of the somewhat successful prose was more just trying to build on one line/image, like here it was the last line about the forest’s underbelly:

(cw for implied animal death/hunting)

Beau’s learnt how to tune himself to the forest’s rhythm. He knows how the wind sounds when it weaves between its trees, he knows how the leaves sound as they breathe it in. He know how the rabbits sound when they twitch between brush, how they sound when they squeal in their traps. He knows the sound of the water rush, and he knows how many steps it takes to reach the riverbank. He knows how his boots sound against the ground and he knows where all the cracks and holes in the earth are. Sometimes, people tell him that the first rule of survival is to never go alone. At the start of summer, Luca was still apprehensive about letting Beau, letting anyone, out on their own. But Beau isn’t alone, he always says, he’s with the forest. He knows the forest, he listens to the forest. He’s walked over this dirt and grass before, zig-zagged between these trees before and yes, he’s deep in the forest’s underbelly, but he knows when it’s safe to stop and breathe in the pine.

I mainly worked on the opening scene which sees Beau and Felix bumping into each other in the woods, Felix delivering a “peace offering” of flowers and petals for brewing tea and Beau being pissed bc he thought Felix was following him (that was somebody else Beau <3 you will meet him later <3). At first I’d have described Beaulix as rivals to lovers but honestly they’re SO complicated it’s just ?? but the easiest way to describe their relationship at the start is 1) distrust 2) only knowing each other through the lens of an old conflict neither of them actually wanted and 3) I think in a world that’s constantly changing, they find comfort in this “rivalry” and moving on from that rivalry would force them to confront and process a lot of what’s happened in their pasts. They’re messy! LOVE reimagining them like this though it’s so different to RR Beaulix but suits them just as well?

Beau glares. “You talk too much.”

“And you always look at me like you wanna slice my throat, but I don’t complain.” Felix glares back, but then he grins. “You think so lowly of me, Beau.”

Felix is much more confident and generally less pathetic LOL in this story and I’m like who ARE you?? It’s because in WS he’s stayed in the same place his entire life, whereas in RR he’s plunged himself into an unfamiliar place where everybody else seems to know what’s going on except him. I also think he and Dorothy really dove into survival because it gave them agency & a chance to escape their childhood. They honestly kinda flourish in the apocalypse which is? Something? But I absolutely love him he is truly just vibing SODIFJSDKF

“Fucking with you? I didn’t even see you there.” Felix looks up, meeting with Beau’s eyes. “Just washing my hands, see?” He lifts his hands as if he’s surrendering, like he feels a need to affirm his innocence. “Zombie guts. Awful under your nails.”

Reading back on this chapter did make me realise that a big part of it doesn’t make sense which has me wanting to rip my hair out but it’s fine :) we can fix it later :) the painting is still crooked but we are looking away :)

day two to five

Nothing to report here! I was going through it mentally and also hadn’t worked out what helps me the most in writing consistently. I did on all these day but sometimes it was just to keep the Nano streak, and the stuff I did write feels Off.

day six

This was day one in Fighting For My Nano Life, where I wrote 3-4k every day until I was on track with the Nano progress chart. I also technically restarted the whole thing (All I did was slightly rework what I had already written. What I had so far felt like a crooked painting on the wall like yeah, I could move past it, but it was annoying to look at). This day I wrote about 4.2k new words but because I typed everything from the start I technically wrote 7k? Rest in peace to my wrists.

I completed the first two chapters and made a start on the third which is where the plot really starts kicking in. Technically the inciting incidents (there are 2 lol) happen in Chapter 1 and 2 but Chapter 3 is where this starts to get realised and is the first High Emotion point. Honestly she’s been giving me TROUBLE lol. Here’s part of a plot-irrelevant paragraph exploring how, when the apocalypse broke out the first thing Dorothy wanted to do was ransack an art store. Queen behaviour

Her reasoning was that nobody would ransack an art store, and since God obviously couldn’t be real anymore, that meant she could do whatever she wanted. She could paint whatever she wanted. How the moonlight glitters the lake and how she would look floating in the middle of it, alone. How her reflection would look with short hair and lipstick stains. A hand study with rings and varnish. Her and Felix aged five, on the rocket ship they designed together. The moon cycles. Self-portraits in the form of Tarot Cards. A dragon aboard Noah’s Ark. And girls. She could paint girls.

day seven

On the second day of my fight for my life, I hit 10k. 10k was my “testing the waters goal” AKA, if I hit 10k relatively quickly I would extend my goal however appropriate, but if I was struggling I knew that writing consistently for a month would get me to 10k. I was definitely starting to get burnt out though! It was difficult managing this alongside the first important, high emotion moment in the plot because I was like man, my brain is too frazzled to even fast draft this bit. I got some of the framework done and I think I’m going to rework this chapter entirely the same way I did chapter one. Another wonky painting on the wall moment <3 These two Dorothy/Jolie moments killed me though

“We should mash the raspberries up. Try and make a shitty mocktail with mashed up raspberries and boiled rainwater.”

Everybody give it up for the Raspberry Rainwater Mocktail

“You know, I don’t mind if a date night out just means sitting on the forest floor a few feet from the gates. Hell, we can even bring our raspberry rainwater mocktail.”

Jolie grins. “Well, yeah, but I’m gonna come up with something better. You’ll see.”

This is where I officially gave up with writing linearly for now. I had a scene in my Scrivener doc I’d started in October just called “beaulix homoerotic wound tending”, and was keeping it as my Get Out Of The Linear Narrative Free card because I knew I wanted to work on it at some point so I could add those words to my Nano Count and have the whole doc be Nano Words. “beaulix homoerotic wound tending” sums up the scene perfectly LOL. I also know now that this scene will go near the end of part one, so it was like envisioning where Beau and Felix need to reach by the end of that part. Honestly it’s more about physical attraction + trusting each other than anything romantic, but you can tell that ~something~ is growing. I also think at this point they’d still lean into their Rivalry(TM) in a more joking way, but like, because they both know it’s comforting to them in ways they could never explain your honour I love them

Felix’s voice trails off when he realises Beau isn’t acknowledging his words. So, he tries a different angle. He leans closer, his voice is a whisper. “If you pass out now, I’ll have to carry you through your own gates. And that would be really embarrassing for you.”

This is an edit of what I wrote in October and previously posted on here, posting again because it is still one of my favourite parts so far like the phrase “lantern-lit haze” literally rewrote my brain chemistry. I think about it everyday. I’m this close to making lantern-lit haze my brand. HELP!

Beau has a birthmark, just below his shoulder. It sits in the same spot where freckles dot Felix’s own skin. Without thinking, without seeking approval but also, without feeling like he has to ask, Felix’s thumb moves up, grazes over the mark. It feels like another one of their shared little intimacies, like the light flickering on Beau’s chest and Felix’s hands; like Beau’s blood stained on Felix’s nails; like the air between their lips. Like how he sits on Beau’s bed, how their thighs touch and how Beau looks in Felix’s eyes when he asks if it’s all okay. How he keeps looking, even after Felix nods. Both cloaked by the night, cloaked by their silence. Here they are, breathing together in their own lantern-lit haze, and a thought creeps into Felix’s head, that he could do it right now. He could close the distance the distance, let Beau taste Felix’s hawthorn tea on his lips. How would Beau even react to that? How did Felix even get here?

Here’s a bonus line that I cut because whilst I love it I don’t think we’re at the stage emotionally where Felix would acknowledge this YET. Yet.

How, every time Beau’s asked if it’s all going to be okay, Felix found the answer in Beau’s eyes.

And obligatory on the nose referral to the season description in Chapter One:

He could end this, whatever it is they share, as quickly as snuffing out a candle. The warmth in Beau’s eyes would darken into something cold.

The eye imagery is starting to turn into a Beaulix Motif which like, interesting! It mainly comes from this one dialogue line that I haven’t written yet but I referenced here. BTW Felix’s weapon of choice is a bow and arrow and he uses it so often it feels like an extra limb to him it is at least 90% of his apocalypse personality. Anyway take a shot every time these lines say “Felix’s eyes”

How Beau had said that whenever he looks into Felix’s eyes, he sees an arrow pointing at him. What does he see in Felix’s eyes now? He keeps looking in Felix’s eyes.

Scream. Love Felix having his oh fuck, I think I’m attracted to you and I don’t know what to do about this but also I’m sure it won’t develop into anything else HAHA. Wait are you attracted to me? Wait a minute? moment.

The scene ends with Felix being unable to return home because of the weather, and Beau telling him to just crash here (Beau has two beds in his room, can’t wait for them to transition from two beds to one). Felix does so and they have a really nice conversation about what Beau thinks Felix’s preferred method of killing him would be <3

“I thought you would like, think I’d plan to kill you in your sleep.”

“I don’t think that’s your style,” he says to the ceiling. “I always thought poison would be your most likely move. I mean, you have all those flowers and you’re always talking about the concoctions you guys make. And the name you all picked? Foxglove? The literal, poisonous foxgloves tied to your gate? That’s a threat.” Beau’s eyes meet Felix with a look on his face that Felix could only assume was him trying to say I’m just joking. Please go along with it. Please. “You’re sly like that, you know? You would welcome me in your home, all nice and smiley, luring me in with honey.”

day eight to ten

And nothing to show again! On day 9 I hit 15k and was on track with the Nano progress chart, but today I literally wrote 100 words to keep my streak and took a day off because my brain is going through a lot and needed to rest <3 It was actually very hard to do that because I was so invested in this story and the comfort it brings me as a distraction, and also working towards a tangible goal like Nano made me feel like I had to “earn” a break, as in, be ahead in the word count. But I think this fluctuating word count where I write a lot over the course of a couple days and then write much less for a couple is suiting me more than consistently writing 1167 at least every day. Idk! We’ll see! My brain already feels a bit clearer. I’m also looking for some cool post apocalyptic stories to read that aren’t like, the really obvious famous ones, if anyone has any recs I would love to hear! (zombie apocalypse preferred but I’ll take anything with the right Vibes)

The plan for the next 10 days (was going to do weekly updates but in being fashionably late I realised 3 updates every 10 days makes more sense because I can end on Nov 30) is to get back into the linear narrative and just. Write! There’s so much fun plot stuff that I’m just DYING to get to and I can’t wait to watch it unravel.

#if you saw me post this already no you didnt #also this being like 80% beaulix IM SORRY I LOVE THEM AND THEY GIVE ME GENDER EUPHORIA #nano 2022 #winter's slaughter #i always feel insecure about writing long updates under cuts like i feel like i make them too long but I CANT HELP IT i love infodumping #and theyre for me more than anybody else <3

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thelostboys87 · 10 months

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lover boy era felix pov like a worm in my brain i dont know if there's enough to actually turn it into a story instead of random writing bursts but i just wanna write him being silly and whimsical and bisexual

#the funny thing about it is like #the whole Felix Has A Girlfriend era was just a self indulgent plot bunny from LITERALLY 2020 #like in my head it was Post Events Of The Novel but also i didnt know if it was canon bc that would mean that beaulix breaks up #(which...LOL bc they literally do now)#anyway its so old the pinterest board desc calls RR church mud and that was a jumpscare #now i'm reviving it to write the most self indulgent bisexual shit ever #also i never really developed her as a character because i never thought i'd write anything abt it #whenever i have a love interest i immediately take them out of the love dynamic so i can figure them out on their own #then try to fit them back in #so now im like yayyyy new toy to play with. cant wait to figure out what's weird about her #thing is though i fear it is a healthy and whimsical relationship and theyre not psychologically tormenting one another so like. BORING!#not a bad thing but like i need to figure out where he's being psychologically tormented besides like. his own brain

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thelostboys87 · 7 months

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writing gay sex in my notes app bc i don’t want to get out of bed to reach my laptop…..new level of hedonism unlocked

#all I’ve eaten today is a smoothie and an apple pie slice bc I felt nauseous and then I didn’t but now I don’t have the energy to cook #so I’m like mildly delirious I think #something about domestic beaulix is hitting different. something about writing a relationship with a long term sex life and not a hook up #how there’s a routine between them but also the presence of that routine has created a space for them to explore idkkkkkk

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dallonwrites · 8 months

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3, 4, & 7 for beaulix :3

3. What was their first impression of each other?

When they first met Beau was a lot more extroverted and had no problem approaching strangers and trying to befriend them so he literally just thought Felix seemed cool and looked cute he is a simple man! Also Beau was with his younger brother when they met (it was in an arcade) and thought Felix interacted with his brother nicely/appropriately which is like. number one green flag for him.

Felix on the other hand did have a similar first impression but he was also just So anxious because he literally could not comprehend that some guy just like! wants to hang out with him and is talking with him?!?!? The more they get to know each other the more he realises he does enjoy Beau's company actually but a lot of those first interactions are murky because Felix is just like what the hell do you mean someone wants to be my friend?? Like I'm having normal friend interactions with another person right now??? Also can't wait to write the moment where Felix's repression finally dissolves and he's like wait Beau Is Like Really Pretty

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Overall I don't think there's one that is more affectionate than the other like all the time but Felix's love language would definitely be physical touch so most of the time it's him LOL he's clingy....he wants to hold his hand hold his arm have their knees/thighs pressed together under the table....hugs from behind hugs from the side will move closer to him in his sleep (he is also just a physical affectionate guy overall with anyone he loves not just with romantic partners like he is soooo wanting to rest his head on Dorothy's shoulder most of the time). Not to psychoanalyse but it is like definitely because he did not get physical affection growing up

I wouldn't say in contrast that Beau doesn't initiate affection as much I think he is just like. not as quick to do it or won't have the same kind of impulse urge Felix has most of the time. Like Beau tends to feel like he's "stuck" in his own body (his own words) where it's not like he's disassociated but he's just so focused on himself internally and how he's processing the world around him because the world around him is So Much (autism <3) that he might like. forget for a moment that he's with someone or that he wanted to hold their hand. Also he definitely overthinks worrying about misreading a situation and the person not actually wanting to be touched and rejecting it, which is so fair but he is also definitely overthinking it in situations where he does not need to and the communication has already been clear! autism <3 part of Lover Boy development is about being more confident over this

7. How often do they say “I love you”?

Omgggg okay in RR despite being so wrapped up in each other they never actually say I love you. Like I think they can't bring themselves to say it even when they want to because they're aware on some level of the fragility of their relationship + their lives around it and as the plot gets more intense which I think is really interesting contrasted with just...how attached they are to each other. There are definitely instances tho where I think they are trying to say it in other words like Felix literally making him a mixtape of what he believes are the most beautiful songs in the world (which btw he made this as an APOLOGY gift....girl!). Like they're trying so hard not to say it!

Which ultimately means the first time they say I love you is going to be in Lover Boy which is like OMGGGGGG who knows what that'll look like! Not me!

ship ask game

#yayyy beaulix infodump :3 #ask games #lover boy #RR

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