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#be warned: readmore
nyaskitten · 23 days
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DR S2 SPOILERS//
So Wyldfyre mentions having lost several dragon family members to Wasting Sickness, but we never saw Any of them in any flashbacks... anyways we should make dragon OC's who raised Wyldfyre but like we always just go "And then they Fucking Die."
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avocadoraisin · 3 months
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yea sure why not
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unexpectedbrickattack · 10 months
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shenanigans
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htodinth · 8 months
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Alder and Air walking through a park on a sunny day 🦊🦁🩲
an absolutely beautiful commission i got from Fudatsu🔞 with @shanghai-ohmy!! casual nudity version under the cut
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they're new to the whole casual nudity thing, but they're having a lot of fun with it 🦊🦁🌿
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waterfallofspace · 8 months
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We talk about the one being induced being handcuffed, unable to touch their own nose, helpless, at the mercy of the inducer.
But what about the inducer being handcuffed?
A spray of perfume on their chest, hands bound above their head, unable to do anything but watch as their allergic partner rubs their own nose, maybe pinches it, prolonging the suffering, holding back the tickle.
Their body pulling against the cuffs as the inducee runs their itchy, warm nose along the helpless-inducers chest, allowing contact here and there. At this point they're inducing themself, and their partner is simply the tool being used.
Unable to touch the inducee, unable to touch themself, helpless but to watch, aching for any ounce of contact the inducee chooses to oblige.
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frikatilhi · 3 months
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It's valentine's day. Of course, Bojan is waiting for a grand gesture from Jere on the day of love. After all, they love together.
Bojan plans to gift Jere a little something as well. Maybe a piece of jewelry that he put hours into picking. On side of heart-shaped chocolate and a cliché teddybear. Maybe a little, small, minimal effort of a two minute long, handcrafted song about the two of them.
He has practiced for weeks to act surprised and cute when Jere asks him to be his valentine. Because he will ask. ....right?
Jere doesn't ask. Valentines gets closer. Jere is for sure coming to London as they've scheduled. But he doesn't ask. Bojan gets more anxious, more nervous, more regretful of the gift waiting hidden in his closet.
What Bojan doesn't realize is that in Finland, valentine's day is ystävyydenpäivä = friends day. Jere has no clue about the valentine's day traditions.
So on Valentine's day...
Finish the fic, including the following: boys kissing
Oh hi there ANON 👀
Just realised I forgot the kissing part, SORRY
“Jere, why haven’t you asked me to be your Valentine??”
“Umphhh?”
“Do you not like me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like… that.”
“Bojan, do you want me continue or do you want me talk?”
“Oh! Yes. Please.”
“...”
“It’s just–”
“For fuck sake Bojan. I give you blowjob. Why you think I don’t like you??”
“Because… it’s Valentine’s day.”
“So what?”
“So what???”
“We are not twelve year old girls. Why we care about Friend Day?”
“The what day now?”
“Today is Friend Day, yes? Valentine. Day for friends.”
“...oh. Is that what it is in Finland.”
“This thing we do now? Not what friends do. I mean, yes we are friends. But also, your dick was in my mouth. I like to put it back.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Is okay. Do you want to talk or.”
“No, I think I’m fi-aaaah-aaah-ah-”
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demispark · 1 month
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Alright, my dearest friends, mutuals, followers, and other assorted Tumblr users, I have made a decision. April Fools is more fun as a time to be silly than a time to lie and confuse people, so I'm going to do something that people will hopefully find stupid and fun.
On April 1st 2024, I'm going to be very cringe and make a post where I get to explain something from a franchise that I am very passionate about, Kingdom Hearts.
Since I will be posting it here on Tumblr - thereby subjecting you all to my autistic rambling - I have decided to make a poll to ask you (who knows little to nothing about the series) what I should talk about!
I'm also just genuinely curious about what options will be picked. I'm gonna tag some people that I especially want to see, and it would be fun if anyone who votes leaves which option they picked (just say #1-6 the actual options are way too long-) and why!
Anyway, if y'all wouldn't mind - @mintchocolatemagic @ril-ard @ancestorlegacy @pink-bandita
Hopefully this ends up being a fun way to tell people about stuff I'm passionate about, and I might even do it again some other time :3
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secondbeatsongs · 1 year
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mister(?) sbs, will you please tell us about "diagnosis: encounter with a squirrel" off the lies poll?
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so, my dad has a vendetta against the neighborhood squirrels.
sorry, this is a long one, and I couldn't think of a better place to put the readmore than right here at the start of it, so here we are!
buckle up
so my dad hates the squirrels because they cause property damage and steal the nuts off our pecan tree, and for him it's become personal, so he's waging an all-out squirrel war. he sets traps, he shoots them, and he celebrates each kill as if it's a personal victory.
(I mean hey, I don't like it, but it gives him something to do.)
but the thing is, after my dad kills these squirrels, he just disposes of them. and I think that's a waste, so...I learned how to skin them. to keep their pelts.
that's the backstory here. that's a fun thing you now know about me!
anyway, this has been going pretty well - I now have a pile of squirrel pelts under the porch, waiting for warm weather and free time so I can tan them. and I'm really careful about all of this - I wear gloves, I clean my tools well, and I never run into any problems
or at least I hadn't run into any problems until last November, when one of my nitrile gloves got a hole in it without me noticing, and I got squirrel blood all over my hand.
...a hand where I happened to have an open wound.
yeah. so. I called the local hospital and vaguely explained what happened, and asked, "uh, hey! is this something I need a rabies shot for?"
"uhh," the nurse said helpfully, "we can't give medical advice over the phone. but if you're concerned, feel free to visit the emergency room!"
and. I mean. I wasn't not concerned about it! rabies is like, a death sentence for sure, so??
so I went to the emergency room, and explained what happened to a different nurse, got stared at and told to wait, and after about 45 minutes of killing time (and listening to a man and a woman in the waiting room debate the concept of free will, argue about god, and plan an intervention for their gambling-addicted brother), I got brought back into an exam room
the doctor basically looked at my chart and asked me to explain myself, so I gave her the rundown of "cut open a squirrel, glove broke, got squirrel blood on an open wound, what do I do about that?"
she seemed more confused by this situation than anything else, but she looked up a few things, and then told me that if it had been any other mammal she would have recommended a rabies shot, but that in this area, squirrels are not a rabies risk! and so I didn't have anything to worry about
which, cool! glad to not have rabies!
anyway she disappeared for a bit to finish paperwork and stuff so I could leave, and a few other nurses wandered over and asked me the polite version of, "hey, what the fuck?" so I explained the whole thing all over again, and fielded questions like, "how…exactly…did this happen?" and "is this like...a taxidermy thing?", and "😭 but...why? I love squirrels!" until the doctor returned, told me I could leave, and then cheerfully said, "there you go! your medical record now says, 'diagnosis: encounter with squirrel'! have a nice day!"
it was definitely one of the experiences I've ever had.
but the day after that was pretty fun too, because that's when I got a phone call from the health department!
the person on the line was a nice lady with a strong, gruff southern accent, and she said, "we're required to follow up on all potential rabies risks, and I hear you had uh…a…squirrel encounter?"
jfc.
so I went over it all again with her, explaining how it happened.
times I have now had to explain the squirrel thing: 5
after I got done my sordid tale, she repeated what the doctor said about squirrels not being a rabies risk, and then tacked onto the end, "unless...before it was killed, was the squirrel acting...nutty?"
I am in love with health department lady. we will have a spring wedding.
me: "nah, the squirrel seemed normal."
her: "okay."
her: "do you uh…skin squirrels often? I mean, I can't judge."
me: "no, please do. I encourage it. this is getting ridiculous."
her: "well, still. one of my coworkers - the one I inherited this job from - he left me a taxidermied rat!" :D
me: "oh! that's cool!"
her: "it is!"
me: "…anyway"
her: "yeah, have a nice afternoon!"
so, that's the story of how I got squirrel blood on an open wound, got stared at by a bunch of healthcare professionals, and (probably) became a story that people tell to their friends when they need an example of a truly odd person.
the end!
oh, and the moral of this story btw (if you care to know) is that before rushing off to the ER to see if you need a rabies shot, the correct course of action is to call the health department! because they're the ones who have the data to tell you whether or not your health is at risk from getting bled on by a dead squirrel.
(at least, that's what the nice health department lady said. I hope she's doing well! I think of her often)
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supersecretnerd · 1 year
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Ah I just realized I never posted the Official Chibis for Mike Tyson's Punch Out characters on here for the fandom. So uh- here I go.
Ok so these Chibis come from the Japanese 1987 player guidebook for the Famicom version of Mike Tyson's Punch Out-
This post has more relatively less problematic Chibis- I will post the more problematic ones on a later separate post underneath a readmore-
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clumsiestgiantess · 7 months
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The Walls Won’t Be There Forever (tw dehumanization, some ptsd dreams of sexual harassment)(it is about the pet trope, however condemning of it the story might be. So watch out yk?)
I ended up deciding to put out the entire first half (aka first two povs) instead of something shorter. Y’all certainly don’t have to read it all in one sitting, but here it is!
Prologue
It all started with a discovery.  Then agian, someone mustve known sooner.  67 years after The Borrowers book series was published, along with various movies, tv shows, and spin offs, science finally got its hands on the real thing.  It wasn't completely true to the books, though.  Their reflexes were off the charts fast — probably why no one's managed to find one all this time.  They also had strangely-shaped ears.  However, the biggest disappointment: they were basically mice who looked like people.  Unfortunately, the books are still labeled fiction for this reason.  The creatures only speak in the squeaks of mice, and they aren't that much smarter than mice, either.  
Which is why, within a few months of discovery, the homosapians redactus, commonly known as Mice People or Borrowers after the books, became fully known to the world as either a pest or a pet.  I, for one, find it rather unsettling to see something that looks so similar to us but small, though apparently, most people thought that was very cute.  So, owning a little mouse person to dress up and play with instantly became a new trend.
On the other end of the spectrum, pest services started advertising their expertise in catching 'those sneaky little creatures stealing your things'.  Soon, every house was being inspected, including my own.  It was around the time of my younger sister Aubrey's birthday, and following the new trend, she begged my parents to let her keep one of the creatures.  My mother, who was already deathly afraid of tiny scurrying pests like mice, rats, and cockroaches, immediately rejected her idea of a pet mouse person.  Especially a wild one caught from the house.  Eventually, she made an exception for her birthday though, so she let her pick one out from the pet store in town.  The ones that came from there had to have gone through some kind of basic training to be on the shelf.  
Aubrey could barely sit still the entire drive to the store.  As soon as we got there, she ran straight to the new section of borrowers for adoption while me and my mother walked over to the section for pet cages and accessories.  As per normal, there was an array of products to choose from, ranging from normal glass cages with little 'bonus' accessories inside, to two level mini mansions that looked like decked-out doll houses.  "Oh look at this!" my mother exclaimed, pointing to a sign above one of the cages.  "These are on sale!  Two for one!"  
If a store puts anything, and I mean anything on sale, my mother will buy it just because it's 'saving money'.  Even if we're spending that money on useless things, it doesn't matter, just as long as it's on sale or in the clearance section.  "Mom, Aubrey's borrower doesn't need two cages.  Just get one."  "But then it won't be a sale…"  She stood there thinking while I walked the rest of the aisle.  
"How about this," my mother asked me on my way back.  "I'll buy both cages and both you and your sister can have little pets."  I blinked, "I thought we were just getting one for Aubrey because it's her birthday."  "What?  You don't want one?" she asked me, confused.  I shrugged, "They aren't that interesting, that's all," I said, not wanting to admit that they kinda freaked me out.  "Hmm…  Then you can get one.  And if you don't like it, or it's too 'boring' you can give it to Aubrey."  
I could see there was no way to win this argument, so I nodded and headed toward the aisle my sister had run down earlier.  As I started scanning the cages built into the wall, she ran up to me and yanked at my sleeve.  "Do you want to see my new pet?"  I didn't really have a choice once she started dragging me down the aisle.  "You already found one?" I asked.  "Mmm hmm," she nodded, "This one right here!"  Peering in, I could see the little human-like creature standing by its cot, preoccupied with something.  "Mom said I could have one too, but I'll probably just get bored of it and give it to you," I told Aubrey as I turned away from her borrower in its display cage.  "What!?" she whined, "How come you get one too?  That isn’t fair!  It's not your birthday!"  Shrugging, I answered, "I don't know, she found some deal on cages so she's letting me have one as well."
Aubrey stormed off to find Mom, while I began my search for a decent pet.  I wanted one that was mellow enough that it wouldn't cause trouble, but not so mellow that it would be boring.  Finally, after my sister begged me to hurry up and choose, I found one that seemed to be a good fit.  She was about average height for a borrower, with straight black hair that was cut at shoulder height, and piercing blue eyes.  She was probably just a few years older than me, so she would live for a long time after I bought her.  
The articles I’ve read about them say that borrowers can sometimes even outlive their owners if they're given proper care, but hopefully I can just hand it over to my sister if I get tired of it.  Aubrey might not want it, but Mom was relentless, so I guess it'll be their problem.  Soon our borrowers were boxed up and put on the register, along with my mother's brilliant bargain cages.  
After a careful drive back to the house (don't jiggle them around, you're gonna make them sick), and an even more careful trip up to my room (don't drop the box, it might escape), I finally began setting up my pet's new home.  The cage was pretty simple.  It's a large glass tank that takes up about half of the space on my dresser, with a wire top and two doors.  The side door was for taking your borrower out; it had a bolt lock on it to keep your pet safely inside.  However, the second door on the top of the cage had a simple latch on it.  This was really just for easy access to things like replacing food and water.  It was too high up for a borrower to reach, so it wasn't a possible escape route, but I took a mental note to duct tape it closed later.  
Most of the extra stuff from the bag inside the tank were bits of furniture and decorative trinkets to entertain your pet.  Honestly, most of it looked like it came from a cheap dollhouse set, but that's what you get when you buy 2 for 1 bargain cages.  I spread the random decorations around the cage, leaving a large empty space at the front for me to look through.  After everything was set, I picked up the small cardboard box holding the borrower and carefully opened it as I set it down inside the cage.  She didn't seem to want to come out, so I checked the locks on the doors one last time and left her to settle in.
Part 1
It all started with a discovery.  Humans know about us now, and they've wrecked everything from the very beginning.  Of course, our kind have had some close calls before.  Being seen but not caught, accidentally taking noticeable things, getting stuck in a gluetrap is always a frightening experience.  There's even been books and movies made about us but still, no one found out.  Until now.  My family barely got a warning before the exterminators arrived, separating us.  How long has it been since I've seen them?  Weeks?  Months?  I'm pretty sure my brother is in one of the other cages somewhere, but because of the code, I can't call out to him.  
The code.  It's always been one of those 'golden rules' you learn when you're young, almost like instinct.  I always hated thinking about it back then.  In fact, when I was younger, I had nightmares about this — this awful rule that forces us to quit speaking, forces us to play dumb so the humans might leave us alone one day.  I hate it.  I've always hated it.  Now that it's a reality, I hate it even more.  It's even worse than my childhood nightmares — at least those I could wake up from.  
With all the time I spend staring out a glass wall every day, I've noticed certain things about humans that I hadn't before.  Of all the humans I've seen, they always either act like predators, or act like prey.  The ones that act like prey are easier to deal with for sure.  They won't purposely hurt you most of the time, and even if they do, they make a big fuss over it.  Which is fine I guess, but they have such an overpowering scent of energy, and boy are they stupid.  They're also slightly annoying, and boring, and nine times out of ten they buy you to dress you up for whatever idiotic trend is going on now.  I wouldn't be surprised if many of my kind bought by them end up right back here in cages once our discovery blows over.
However, the humans that act like predators are a lot harder to read.  And like most predators of this world, I'm terrified of them.  I can only hope that I don't get picked by one of those.  Unlike the prey humans who buy you to be their little toy, the predators buy you because they see you as an animal — an actual pet.  If they scare the shit out of you, they don't care.  If you make them angry, they torture you, or take you back to the store with enough complaints to get you put down.
Yeah, again, I pray that I don't get chosen by one of them.  In fact, I think my best option is to sit here, not getting picked at all.  That dream died almost a month later though, when a certain family came in early to celebrate a birthday.  At first I thought it was just the younger one looking around; she bounced back and forth between all the different windows, peering in at each one of us just to make sure she knew all her options.  This human definitely fit into the prey category.  She picked hers quickly — not me thank goodness — and I let out a relieved breath.
Then, her older sister walked over and explained that their mother told her she needed a pet too.  Thankfully, I learned a lot of the human language before I was abducted.  I wouldn’t know half of what was going on without it.  Instantly, I went on high alert again, expecting this human to be the same type of prey human that her sister was.  However, as she silently paced back and forth along the wall, it became clear that she was more on the predator side.  It would take her a lot longer to find the 'right one'.  Keeping to my strategy, I steered clear of doing anything to attract attention.  Even so much as locking eyes for a moment was enough to set humans off.  I guess predators are interested in that sort of thing, though, because next thing I know I'm being thrown in a cardboard box and placed on a counter, my entire life summed up as $14.99 on the register.  
My heart rate finally slowed slightly as the humans drove back to their house.  Great, now I can panic.  My mind raced as I realized that my worst nightmare had come true.  I'd been chosen by a predator human.  How do I get myself out of this?  I can't just sit here and wait to be tortured!  I have to get out!  Frantically, I shoved at the pieces of cardboard that folded together above me, but nothing bugged.  Grabbing one of the air holes, I hauled myself up so I could see how the top opened from the outside.  
I had my head pressed to the hole for a while before I felt a crawling feeling down my spine.  I glanced the other way and fell back in shock.  The human was watching me — just waiting for me to slip up and do something wrong so she could hurt me.  That put an end to any escape plans for the rest of the ride.
Next thing I knew, I was brought through the house and upstairs to the girl's bedroom.  I tried to memorize the layout of the floors so I would know where to run if I escaped, but I quickly found that staying in one place was impossible with the human's movements jostling the entire box.  Eventually, I was placed on a massively large bed while the human cleared off a space on her dresser.  I sat silently in the box, pressed against the wall furthest from the human, watching through the air slits as she sorted out a cage for me.  
Finally, after everything was placed down, Liz, — I'd overheard her name in the car — picked up the cardboard box.  The motion was so sudden that I fell forwards.  My stomach lurched as I unsteadily righted myself.  Just as abruptly as the motion started, it stopped.  I barely had time to process what happened before the folds in the top of the box gave away, revealing the behemoth human far above me.  In a panic, I threw myself into a corner and watched as the human scrutinized me quietly, then stepped out of view.  I heard her footsteps get further and eventually fade away.
Though I could tell she was gone, I refused to leave the sad cardboard corner I hid in.  It offered the only protection I had, even if it wasn't much.  All I could do was sit there, shaking with fear-made adrenaline as tears welled in my eyes.  It must have been a good hour and a half at least when I'd finally stopped crying.  Existential dread loomed over my mind, whispering things like you’ll die here, and you won’t last a week.  Why on earth does my brain think it’s a good idea to terrify me even further than I already am?!
I shakily got up, steadying myself with the side of the box as I took in my horrible new home.  The ceiling was made of a wire mesh, and every wall was made of glass.  I noticed this instantly.  There was nowhere to hide — nowhere I could go where the human couldn't easily find me.
Slowly, I stepped out into the glass cage, brushing my fingertips over the human-style bed tucked against a corner.  The only decent thing in the entire room was this bed.  My old one at the petstore was almost as hard as the floor, and this one was blissfully soft in comparison.  I walked slowly along the back wall, always keeping the bedroom door in view as I passed an empty bookshelf and a dresser with a mirror made of reflective paper instead of glass.  My reflection was only a few sad distorted colors.  
The only other thing I had was a table with four chairs surrounding it.  I laughed coldly in spite of myself, forcing down tears before they had the chance to spring up.  Why would I ever need four chairs when I would probably never have the privilege of seeing a guest my own height?  Though I guess the human’s sister has one of my kind, too.  I can only hope they’re holding out alright.  It was funny, though.  They’d been picked by a prey human.  If anything, they should be worried about me.
I sat down at the table and sighed, burying my head in my arms.  How had it all come to this?  Why me?  What did I ever do to be thrown in a stupid-  BOOM  The door to the human's room suddenly swung open, startling me out of my thoughts.  "Oh look!" Liz's sister exclaimed as she rushed to my cage, "It's at the table ready to eat!  Look Liz, look how cute!"  I froze, stunned.  This human was LOUD, I couldn't really tell at the store because our rooms muffled everything, but sitting in a mostly empty cage — echoes vibrating off the walls — it was almost deafening.  
Wait, I’m supposed to be acting like a dumb creature, right?  I can't be sitting at a table in front of them.  Quickly, I backed out of the chair and sat in a random spot on the floor instead.  "That was so cute; maybe I could train mine to do that," Liz's sister thought aloud.  She meandered back out the door.  I was so distracted trying to seem unintelligent that I'd missed the sound of the cage door opening.  When Liz's arm fell down from above, I nearly screamed.  I soon realized that she wasn't here for me, though; she'd only come to deliver food.  If that's even what she's given me.  Liz left some kind of dried pellets on the table I'd been sitting at minutes ago, and I tried my best not to gag when she placed them down.  They smelled extremely un-appetizing.  However, as the long hours melted into days, I forced myself to eat them.  I had no alternative.
The bedsprings squeaked as Liz flung herself down, tablet in hand.  It had been a long, terrorizing morning, so I sat on my bed to watch her carefully.  Despite living in hell for the past week, I'm still not used to Liz being around.  To be honest, I’m still not used to the fact that I’m still around.
I had another nightmare last night, though it was really more of a horrible memory.  For the first few days of my time in the pet store, my subconsciousness was plagued with haunting images of the exterminators, tearing my old life away from me.  It was so bad that I hadn’t slept a single second.  I’d gotten almost drunkenly sick before managing to sleep nearly a week after my capture.  This time in my dream, it was Liz, not the exterminators, who dragged me away from my family as I desperately fought to stay with them.  I was thrown into the cage she bought me, and forced to wear stupid doll's outfits and play pretend.  After waking up, I doubted she would do that — she doesn't seem like the type — but I've heard what happens across the hall in her sister's room when the doors are open.  My nightmares are almost daily occurrences there.  
I shuddered, propping my pillows up, and sat back waiting for Liz to leave.  However, the silence of the room was threatening to swallow me.  The only sounds came from the slight thuds and creaks somewhere outside in the hallway.  Usually, my home was filled with sounds of life.  My mother, cooking on the makeshift stove, my father, stashing borrowed goods, and me and my brother, doing various chores around the house.  I reminisced for a moment before regrettably returning to my horrible reality.  
Suddenly, the silence was broken as the human began to humm to a song I'd heard on the radio at the store.  Well I have called you darlin' and I'll say it again…  the quiet hums became quiet singing as she got to the chorus.  Put your hand in mine, I promise that I will be with you all the time…   After another few lyrics, the chorus line came back around again, and I have to admit, I was enjoying the song.  Her voice wasn't actually that bad.  Then, Liz abruptly stopped mid-chorus-line and looked around, confused.  I didn't plan on her to stop singing so suddenly, so I kept going, not realizing my mistake until it was too late.  
I didn't know I was singing out loud.  I thought it was just in my head.  But as Liz's singing came to a halt, I'd actually kept going.  The entire borrower secret blowing up in my face.  Quickly, I looked over in shock and saw the massive girl staring at me.  "Y- You can sing!?"  Before I could stop myself, I blurted "No!"  
What did I do?  The hell did I just do!?  My hands flew to my mouth as I scrambled up from my bed in terror.  Liz flung herself up from her own bed as well and rushed over to the glass wall in front of me.  "You can talk!  You can understand me!  This is incredible!"  No, no, no, no!  This is when the torture starts; this is when they send you to a lab for the world to reveal your secrets!  Hot tears streamed down my face as I backed all the way up, crouching against the far wall.  
Liz thought aloud as she began to pace the room.  "How have we not noticed you guys can talk?  You've been in labs for months and human speech was somehow overlooked during all that?"  Coming to a sudden halt, she glanced back over at me.  "Wait.  There's no way they didn't catch that.  Which means…  Have you guys been hiding that from us the whole time?"  Slowly crossing the room, Liz peered through the glass again.  Her expression shifted from triumphant joy to a concerned frown.  "Wait, are you..  Are you crying?" she asked, confused.  No!  She can't figure it out!  My head screamed, my heart pounded in my ears.  Everything started to blur in front of me and I honestly thought I was going to pass out.  I did this.  I failed.  Once word got out about us, it would all be my fault.  
I desperately rubbed the tears from my eyes in a last-ditch effort to undo what I'd done.  She regarded me for a moment, typed something on her phone, then left it by my cage and backed off, giving me one last look before silently walking away to another level of the house.  Confusion was written on every inch of her gigantic form.  
My head was wrapped in a fog as I wandered over to the glass, staring at nothing as I tried to process what happened.  Then all at once, pent up emotions exploded through me in an instant.  "No no no!  I can't believe I let her walk away like that!  She's probably telling everyone right now, dammit!"  I kicked the glass angrily, "Why can't they just leave us alone?  Now they're all going to drag me off to some horrible lab to be studied!"  Tears welled against my eyes, blurring everything out as I crawled into bed.  “Please,” I begged no one in particular, “Please don’t let it end like this.”  Pulling the blankets up over my head, I lay in darkness wishing I could stay there forever.
Eventually, I heard the bedroom door open.  I squeezed my eyes shut and pressed myself deeper into my pillow, desperately willing whoever it was to go away.  The glass around me vibrated as they took something off the table and left.  To my utter amazement, that was all that happened.  Sure, I could hear the sounds of humans walking past from under the covers — which I never left the rest of the day — but they never came to take me away.   No one came to pry me out of bed.  No one even came by to ask why I was hiding.  The entire day played out just like any other, with even less commotion than normal.
This changed the next day however, when Liz came upstairs after breakfast and caught me out of bed, sneaking something to eat.  She came over and sat next to my cage as I cautiously backed into a corner between the glass and the stupid bookshelf she gave me.  It doesn’t even have any books on it — there aren’t any small enough for me.
Liz leaned closer, watching me intently.  "I left my phone here to record you talking yesterday.  So I'd have proof you actually can talk."  Shit.  "I watched it before going to show everyone."  Double shit.  Liz was quiet for a while, which gave me a moment to think.  So, if she showed everyone proof, why haven't I been taken away to a lab yet?  I squirmed uncomfortably in the corner as she stared me down, longer than she had even on the days when she would watch me to see if I would do something interesting.  There were a lot of those, and they were unnerving, but I was still thankful for them.  They were so much better than all the horror stories I expected from her.  In fact, I don’t even think she wants me around.  Well, she might not have, until I gave up my secret.
"That video,” Liz began, startling me from my thoughts.  “I mean, obviously you're smarter than we think you are but…  That's not mimicking human speech that's- that's you talking in the video."  Sitting back, she continued, "And you clearly have the same emotional range that we do, too…"  She looked over at me again, but for the first time, I didn't flinch back.  I was too dumbfounded by what she was saying.  "You're.. human."  What?  "Well, as human as a non-human can be anyway" she chuckled.  
So she saw me as…  No, if she saw me as an equal I wouldn't be in this dumbass box.  Also, what about the video she showed everyone?  I had to risk asking.  It's not like I'm helping the secret by staying silent, anyways.  The video is all the proof she needs.  
I took a breath to steady my voice, but it didn't help much.  "So..  W-what about everyone who saw the video?  Am I…  A-are they…"  Liz's eyes widened in shock as I spoke, and she shook her head, "No one saw the video but me."  "But, you said-"  "I watched the video and realized that you were right.  If I showed it to anyone you would probably end up in a lab.  So I kept it to myself.  I deleted it after a while.  It’s gone."  Blinking, I stood there confused.  "So.. You didn't sell me out?  Why?  Aren't I your… pet?"  I spat the last word like a curse.  I hated it, but it was true.  Liz’s look darkened, and for a terrifying moment, I thought I might’ve reminded her that she was supposed to be torturing me.
However, her expression softened a second later.  "Honestly, I don't know what you are anymore, but...  If you really are a person, then you shouldn't be in a cage."  Yes, please let me go!  "But then what?  Release you in the woods somewhere?  Doesn't your kind survive off ours?  Houses aren't safe now that we know you exist, so where could I even bring you?”
"Wait, wait.  What do you mean 'houses aren't safe'?" I asked warily.  I’m planning on escaping to another house if I ever get out of here.  Liz shrugged, "Well, now that people know about you, they're putting up traps.  Not just mouse traps, like, actual tripwire surveillance traps," she explained.  I puzzled over my new dilemma in shock, taking it all in as she went on and on about the various types of specialized borrower traps.  
If it’s true, and human houses aren't safe anymore, then what will happen to the rest of us?  The ones that haven't been caught?  There have to be some of us still out there, right?  Liz must have seen the horrified look on my face because she quickly ended her explanation.   "Alright, so releasing you isn't an option…"  I recoiled, "Of course releasing me is an option!  It's the only option!  I don't want to sit in a cage forever!"  I stormed over to the glass, my anger overcoming any common sense I had.  "You said I was human!  You said I don’t deserve to be in a cage!  I didn't do anything wrong!  You can't keep me in here!  You can't-"  My voice cracked, but I stubbornly shook my head, refusing to cry in front of this human anymore than I already had.
After a bone chilling silence, I was sure Liz would punish me for yelling at her, and I braced myself for whatever might happen.  Finally, she bent down to my height and asked: "Well, what do you want me to do?"  Me?  Carefully, I raised my head to look at her.  It seemed like she genuinely wanted to hear what I thought, but what do I think?  I want out, obviously.  But where?  If houses aren't safe, and the outside world is a nightmare now that the weather's getting colder, where can I go?  
I slowly stepped into the chair behind me and sat down heavily, pondering how I would get out of this situation.  "What if.." Liz proposed gently, "You stay here?  Not as a pet, but like, a roommate, maybe?"  "What's the difference?" I grumbled, "I still have to stay in this stupid glass box."  She thought for a bit, "Well, as long as you don't get caught outside when other people are around…  you could come out whenever you like."  
What?  This must be some kind of trick, right?  To gain my trust or something?  But why?  "No," I spat a little more harshly than I'd intended.  "You're just trying to make me your pet.  I won't fall for it."  Suddenly, I was ranting, and boy was I on a role.  "What is wrong with your kind!?  Why are you torturing us like this!?  Everything was FINE until you found us!  Now we're being treated like animals just because we took things you didn't even want!  Hell, you're so stupid you didn't even know they were missing!  All of these exterminators and traps — why do you care!?  Just let us go back to how things were!  But nooo, you just had to go and, and…  do whatever the fuck this is!" I yelled, gesturing to my glass box filled with useless trinkets.  "It isn't fair!"  I shuddered, "It isn't fair."  
I guess I'm just tired of being treated like this.  Or maybe I'm feeling gutsy because she didn't punish me the first time I lashed out.  Whatever it was that compelled me to say that, I could tell I wasn't getting off easily this time.  
Liz stood up to her full height, sending instinctive fear coursing through my veins.  I scrambled backward, recognizing the danger I put myself in, and hit the back wall with an echoing thunk.  Panicking as her gigantic form loomed closer to my cage.  "Wait!” I cried out, “I-  I didn't mean it!"  "Yes, you did," Liz cut me off in a bitter voice.  She sized me up, lips parted in a snarl, and for the first time it occurred to me that she could probably eat me in two quick bites.  Everything began shaking.  No, that was me shaking — dreading my inescapable demise.  
"Did it ever occur to you that not all humans are horrible?  That maybe I'm actually trying to help you?"  Liz asked from somewhere above my blurry line of vision.  "If you really want to get out of here, you can start by not cursing me out.  Whoever got you here, whoever trapped you and brought you to that pet store…  I’m- I’m not like that."  The last of her words faded on her tongue.  My gaze slowly drifted upwards until I was looking directly up to see her face, which had relaxed a bit.  "It's just me.  I don't want to hurt you, but I will, p-probably, accidentally maybe, if you keep this up."  She turned, walked into the hall, and closed the door, giving me a sidelong glance before her gaze was cut off.  
I was lucky.  Very lucky.  I thought I'd be dead for sure.  As much as I hated her for leaving me in here, she did have a good point.  It's a horrible idea to yell at someone about 30 times your size.  Everyone knows any human would gladly take the chance to torture me for that outburst, so why didn't she?  Hell, if someone a fraction of my size started cursing at me, I probably would've threatened to rip them apart.  
I went through the motions again as I paced back and forth for what seemed like hours, but I couldn't find one good reason for her to not have hurt me.  Other than just being nice, like she said she was…  No.  Never trust humans, especially when they've put you in a cage.  That was the conclusion I stuck with the rest of the day.  I dreaded talking to her again, but she would have to come back, this is her room, and I'm stuck in here.  Eventually, Liz did come back, and she looked like she'd been trying to avoid me just as much as I was hoping to avoid her.  But here we were, standing here staring at each other from across the room.  
"Sorry if I scared you before," Liz finally said, avoiding my gaze.  "I just…  Think it over, will you?  My offer?"  All I could do was stare at her in numb shock.  "But if you don't want to, I understand."  Liz shuffled off to the bathroom, PJ's in hand.  "Wait!" I yelped, then hesitated, unsure why I stopped her.  "Why..  Why are you apologizing to me?”
Liz stood silently in the doorway for a minute, then turned to me.  "I don't know," she sighed, "I just… don't know."  Then she walked away into the room's connected bathroom and shut the door, cutting off the conversation.  Is it just me, or was she acting like she was the one who got yelled at?  Wait.  She did get yelled at.  By me.  Was she actually that shaken up over what I said?  I shrugged it off; humans are strange creatures, I know that well enough.  
Re-making my bed — which looked more like a dollhouse bed than a normal bed — I lay down and realized just how tired I actually was as I sunk into the covers.  Later, I heard Liz came back out of the other room and got into bed herself, waving off her parents as they said goodnight.  
Nights always felt like my only time alone because humans rarely did anything in the dark.  That's why we do most of our sneaking around after hours.  Tonight was no different, and even though I was exhausted, I stayed awake.  My thoughts ran off as they sometimes do, and I couldn't help but come back to Liz's offer to be 'roommates'.  She said she would let me out and I could go wherever I wanted as long as no one else found out.  So, it was basically my old way of life back: hide from anyone who might see you and continue doing your own thing the moment they walk away.  I just.. add on a human to it, I guess.  
If I agree, and if Liz isn’t bluffing to trick me or tame me, I could probably just walk away into the walls and never come back.  I can escape without having to find a way to break out of here!  Liz shifted in her bed and I froze, thinking she somehow knew I was plotting against her, before realizing she had no clue what I was planning.  Letting out a frustrated groan, I turned over and fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke up a bit shaken.  Nightmares of exterminators and cages plagued my dreams again last night, along with a few involving my newest captor, Liz.  I sat up, rubbing sleep from my eyes and stopped, confused, mid-stretch.  Something smelled amazing; what was that smell?  Then I noticed the table across the cage.  
Replacing the stupid everyday pile of food pellets was something I'd only dreamed of eating: a pancake.  I raced out of bed and skidded to a halt at the table.  It smelled so good it made my mouth water, and I ignored my borrower's common sense long enough to scarf it down.  I think I'd been sitting there for 20 minutes contemplating every scrap of food I ever ate or stole before Liz walked in.  "I see you enjoyed breakfast," she noted as she sat next to the cage.  "I'd enjoy it more out there," I commented.  "Well, if you agree to the deal, you can."  
Glancing upward at her, I sighed tiredly.  "So what exactly do I have to do?  Just hide whenever someone shows up?"  "It depends," Liz said, "If you're out while I'm here, I'll just say I was watching you so no one will think you're escaping."  For a second I thought guiltily of my escape plan the night before.  Wait, no.  I shouldn't feel guilty, I'm escaping capture not running away.  There's a difference.  
"But if you come out and I'm not there," Liz continued, "Then you have to try and make it back into the cage so it looks like you were in there the whole time."  "So I don't hide from them?"  She shook her head, "No, if someone happens to look over and see that you aren't there, then I get in trouble for letting you 'escape' and you get in trouble because my mom would probably call the exterminators at that point.  She hates small creatures."  Liz seemed to notice me flinch at the very mention of those awful people because she added, "I'll probably just pretend to search for you while you sneak back in, so hopefully it won't come to that."
Blackmail.  That's it; this is probably blackmail to get me to be a good little pet.  She’ll let me out, but she threatens me with exterminators if I don’t come back to her.  I did say she was the predator type, and those were usually smarter than their counterparts.  The joke's on her, though, because when I get out, I'm running far away from where anyone might find me.  I don’t know where, but I will.  
"Alright," I told her, "I'll come back to the stupid cage."  Liz sighed, bending down to my level to look me in the eye, so I could tell this was important.  "I don't like keeping you in here every day either, trust me.  That's why I'm offering you this deal.  But we already established that I can't just release you."  "Then just let me live out there!" I yelled, cutting her off.  "Get rid of the cage and I'll set up a place for myself right where it was, because for some reason your kind insists on watching me constantly!"  "If I treat you like a person, like I want to, won't everyone find out about your secret?" Liz snapped back.  
I'd forgotten about that, but it didn't matter, all I have to do is convince her to let me out and I'll be free.  If my plan works, I can finally have my life back.  Or at least a part of it.  "Alright, fine.  I agree to your deal."  Liz smiled slightly, "Did you want to come out now?"  What kind of idiotic question was that?  Of course I want to get out.  I nodded vigorously and watched as her hand reached around to the side of my cage and unlocked the door to my prison.  I dashed outside the moment her hand left the door.
I did it!  I'm home free!  I'm… terrified.  As I stepped from my cage to the barren surface of the dresser, my senses started spiking.  I was completely exposed here, and a human was staring me down from within their arm's length.  Being watched from in my cage is one thing — even though the walls are glass, they are still walls.  The glass would stop any immediate attack from reaching me.  Out here on the open dresser, there was nothing to stop Liz from straight up grabbing me.  This wasn't the kind of freedom I was expecting.
Liz seemed to understand, at least slightly, what I'd just realized.  "If you like, I could leave some things out on the counter for you to hide behind.  Though, I was kind of hopong you could sit at my desk."  She gestured to the massive piece of furniture on the opposite side of the room.  I looked up at her, bewildered.  "And how do you expect me to get over there?  Fly?  I don't have any climbing gear, and I doubt you'll give me any."  "Well, I.." she trailed off, holding out a single hand, palm up.  It took a few seconds to understand what she was hinting at.  Immediately, I stepped all the way back to the furthest part of the dresser, glaring at Liz all the while.  
"Oh, hell no.  No thank you.  I'm not going to literally put my life in your — or anyone else's — hands."  It only fueled my anger to see disappointment spread across her face.  "You said I wasn't going to be your pet, remember?" I asked peevishly.  "Just tie up some string or something I can climb.  I can get there just fine on my own."  I halfway expected Liz to ignore me and pick me up anyways, but she only nodded, saying she could probably duct tape a few pieces up later.
Just then, Liz's mother called her away to do the dishes.  "I'M COMING!  ONE SECOND!" Liz called, nearly blasting my eardrums out.  I yelped and covered my ears in pain.  In my family, we never shouted at eachother like that.  Mostly because a human might’ve heard us, but still.  In fact, we rarely verbally spoke at all.  Sign was the main method of communication between us; it was best to keep quiet.  The only time we really spoke aloud was when we were practicing human English.  
Liz turned back around and gave me a pitying glance, "Oh, sorry I yelled.  I'll be back in a bit, ok?  Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."  Her parting words stuck in my head even after she'd disappeared behind her bedroom door.  Did she think I would try to escape?  I mean, I would if I could, but without a climbing rope, scaling this dresser would be impossible.  Still, I just couldn't wrap my head around it.  Why would a human leave me alone out here?  Weren't they all supposed to be cruel and unjust?  
I paced the length of the dresser, trying to get a good view of the room.  If I were to try and escape, I would have to find an electrical socket that was low enough to the ground that I could slip into it without needing my climbing gear.  Oh how I missed my gear — my grappling hook.  I would already be long gone if I still had it.
When Liz returned, I was sitting on the edge of the dresser, legs dangling off its side.  Liz took one look and rushed at me.  I scrambled backwards, screaming involuntarily at the surprising speed the giant had.  "What are you doing on the edge like that!?" Liz asked hurriedly, "You scared me, I thought you might fall."  It took me a moment to catch my breath.  I was so certain she'd changed her mind about our deal.  I thought she was coming to punish me.  "I scared you?" I asked angrily, "You rushed at me!  I thought you were about to attack me!  What is wrong with you humans!?"  
Liz took a step back, ashamed.  "I'm sorry, I just-  Aren't you scared?  That ledge is so high for you."  I scoffed.  Were all humans this dumb?  Probably.  "Of course I'm not scared.  I've lived in human houses my whole life.  I've stood on much taller furniture before.  I don't get scared of heights."  Liz sat down on the end of her bed; I could practically see the wheels turning in her head as she thought.  For the brief silent moment, I wondered if she might be angry at me for making her seem so stupid.  "Oh," she said finally, "I guess you're right."
The bedsprings creaked as she stood up and gathered a few things from her desk.  I was about to ask what Liz was doing when she froze, looking up suddenly like she'd just remembered something.  In a few quick strides she was sitting in front of me again.  How do they move so fast?  "I just realized I don't even know your name," Liz said, looking expectantly at me, "You know mine's Liz, right?  I'm sure you've overheard it a dozen times by now, but I don't know yours."  
Wow.  Everyone, and I mean everyone knew humans loved to give their pets about a hundred cute little names.  It’s not just borrower pets, either.  All human pets seem to have a few various different names the humans like to call them by.  Never in a million years would I have thought a human would be asking for my real name.  "It's Wren," I said in shock, "My name's Wren."  "Like the bird?" Liz asked.  I shrugged, "I guess so."  She smiled warmly, "Well, it's nice to officially meet you, Wren."
All I could do was stand there, staring.  Liz had such a genuine smile — maybe she does actually care about me.  I can’t get my hopes up, though.  I know better than to trust human beings, but who knows, there's a chance I'm just insanely lucky enough to end up with one of the better ones.  I was stirred from my thoughts as Liz got up again.  "I'm going to go get some things to make your climbing stuff, alright?"  I nodded, and she was gone.  It wasn't long before Liz returned, though.  She was carrying a bin of various household supplies in her arms, and set it down on her desk.  
Briefly, she rummaged through the items she'd brought, then sat down and began to work.  To be honest, I wanted to be on that desk so I could craft some useful escape items, and I stewed in annoyance because I'd have to be carried to get there.  That would change soon enough, though; I'd make sure of it.  Liz worked mostly in silence before she was called away for lunch and I was left alone for the third time that day.  It'll be so easy for me to escape this place.  Almost too easy.
When Liz returned this time, she brought me a small portion of her lunch.  A piece of pasta was placed on the table in my cage, covered in some kind of sauce.  "Why are you giving me that?" I asked before Liz could return to her work, "Food wasn't part of the deal."  She turned and gave me a curious look, "Would you rather eat the pellets instead?"  "Oh, no no," I backpedaled, "I'm not complaining, I'm just.. confused."  Liz gave me an amused look, "Can't I do something nice for you?"  I was about to launch into a huge explanation on why her behavior was so perplexing to me, but I held my tongue and nodded in agreement.  Sitting down at my plastic table, I ate another extravagant meal.  At this rate, Liz was going to spoil me, but this is one thing humans tend to do to their pets that I don't mind.
After finishing my meal, I cautiously returned to my seat at the edge of the dresser.  My movement must've caught Liz's eye; she turned and regarded me for a moment.  "How do you do that?" she asked me.  "Do what?"  "Sit up there like that.  I know you said it was normal for you, but I think I'd be terrified if it were me up there instead."  For a while, I sat deep in thought.  "Well, I wasn't always this at ease with heights, I guess.  When I was still being trained on how to.. you know, steal human things, I was pretty scared."  
Liz put down whatever she'd been messing with and fully turned her attention to me.  She clearly wanted to hear more, but I was slightly hesitant to explain anything related to my kind.  Then again, she already knew we were basically human.  I took a breath to steady myself and relayed my story.
"I was about 10 at the time," I began, "average age to begin training.  I'd never seen the human side of the house we lived in.  My parents made sure to keep me safe inside the walls.  Both my father and older brother showed me the way through the passages out to one of the exits.  They started me off with one of the easiest and most important borrowing spaces: the kitchen."  Liz had slowly ventured closer to my side of the room, eyes wide in fascination.  
"Why is that the easiest?"  I couldn't help but smile; I'd asked my father the same question earlier that very day. "The electrical socket is usually right there on the counter, so you don't have to scale anything to get up to the supplies and-"  I stopped short.  Should I have said that?  Wasn't it also a secret of my kind that the entrances to our wall systems were often electrical outlets?  
"Why did you stop?" Liz asked me.  "I.. I don't know if I should be telling you all this," I answered honestly.  "About your life or the entrances?"  I shrugged.  "We already knew the electrical socket thing, in case you were wondering," Liz continued, "It's where the exterminators set the traps."  "Of course it is," I grumbled, glaring angrily at nothing in particular.  "So, can you continue?" Liz asked hesitantly, "You know I wouldn't tell anyone if you reveal something to me."  I thought for a moment, then nodded.  
"I'd just made it out onto the counter.  It was really dark because we scavenge at night, and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust. When they did, I was so stunned my brother swore to me I stood frozen for a good five minutes before coming to my senses.  Everything was so much bigger than I'd expected.  Like I said earlier, I'd never seen a human's living space before, and I'd certainly never seen a human before, either.  Everyone said they were big, I just.. never really understood how massive they really were until that night."  
I glanced over at Liz, who shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.  "Of course, I'm not scared of humans anymore," I bluffed, "Your kind are just an annoying nuisance nowadays.  I was 10 though, so yeah, I was kind of freaking out."  "You aren't scared of us?" Liz asked in astonishment, "Wow, I'd be terrified.  Aren't we like 50 times your size and 1,000 times your weight?  I mean, I've seen some people do horrible things-"  "Alright!  Alright!  Fine, yes!"  I cut her off and stood up abruptly, "Obviously your kind are horrifying.  I get it, you can do whatever you want to us and we can do nothing.  You don't have to rub it in."  There was an uncalled-for touch of malice in my voice; I didn't mean for it to have been there, but I couldn't take it back now.
Liz sat speechless for a while, staring at me as I glowered from my place on the dresser.  "I..  I didn't mean to-"  "Yeah yeah, I get it.  Whatever."  I stormed over to the door on the side of my cage and slammed it in her face.  It wasn't as grand an exit as I'd hoped.  She could still see me marching off inside my glass prison.  I put my crafting skills to good use and pulled the blanket off my bed, tying it up like a curtain between my bed stand and the bookshelf next to it.  This created a small, and almost private room where I sat and fumed for the rest of the day.  Tears burned in my throat and swelled in the corners of my eyes, but I refused to be scared.  The only thing I should feel towards this human is anger — resentment.  Whatever sort of sideways friendship I'd just tried to form blew up in my face.  Clearly my kind had been right all along.  Humans are cruel and unjust.  Liz is just better at hiding it.
We didn't speak a word to each other the rest of the day.  The only interactions we had were when Liz dropped off my dinner, but I refused to touch it just to make a show of how angry I was with her and her kind.  My mouth watered at the scent of whatever was left out for me.  Once, I've gone almost a week without eating anything, so I know I can easily survive skipping a meal.  In fact, three meals a day are fairly uncommon for my kind.  However, those old meals consisted of cold leftovers that didn't smell nearly as good as what was sitting right in front of me.  In the end, my mind won over my stomach and I went to bed without dinner.  
Liz returned to my cage right before she went to bed.  I was turned away from her, so I couldn't tell what she was doing, but I clearly heard her sigh at the sight of my untouched meal.  It was almost gratifying to hear her so concerned, because that's just what I was hoping for when I decided to starve a bit.  My satisfaction quickly fled my system when I heard the metal-on-metal squeak of the door to my cage being locked.  I flung myself upright in a panic.  "Why are you locking me in!?" I asked hurriedly.  I was almost certain I knew the answer; Liz was finally going to punish me.  She'd already removed my dinner from the table.  Is she planning to starve me?  
Liz flinched at my sudden outburst; I could feel it vibrate through the desk beneath me.  "Oh, I thought you were asleep."  "Why are you locking me in?" I asked again, my voice a bit steadier.  She stilled for a moment, looking me over with confliction.  Surely I could still convince her not to punish me.  If she was this hesitant, maybe I could persuade her not to trap me again.  I was about to begin an argument for myself, but Liz spoke up first.  
"I know I said I'd treat you like a person, but…" she took a breath and I steeled myself for whatever she would say next.  "I-  I don't really trust you enough to leave this open all night.  From what I know about you so far, I'd guess you would try to climb down this dresser and escape, regardless of whether you have your equipment to do it.  Meaning I'd probably wake up tomorrow morning to find a Wren-sized bloodstain on my carpet wherever you fell off in the middle of the night."  Liz said it all so matter-of-factly that it scared me a little bit.  Firstly, she'd very casually described a horrible way for me to die; secondly, that is what I had been planning to do.  Not the falling to my death part, obviously, but I was definitely going to try escaping tonight.  
Some of my inner turmoil must've spilled onto my face because Liz secured the latch with duct tape before responding.  "I know you want out, but I can't let that happen.  I'm not trying to be some evil captor, though," she added, seeing me reel back slightly at her first remark.  "If you do manage to get away…   I mean, good for you I guess, but it won't be long before you're taken by another exterminator and end up right back at the pet store where you started."  I really wanted to strangle her right then, but I pent up my anger and abruptly turned back towards my bed.  
“I don’t want you ending up hurt or dead or worse because you’re angry with me.  If…”  Liz was silent for a long time, and I tried not to look back at her as she sat in the dark.  “If I knew you were just a small person, I never would’ve put you in that cage.  I would’ve talked to you, I would’ve been.. better somehow.  I- I would’ve made sure you felt safe.  You don’t deserve what’s happening to you.  None of you do.”
"No.  We don’t."  It was all that I managed to say before sliding under the covers and throwing them back over my head.  
Liz is lying.  She wouldn’t have treated me any differently, and she might know it, too.  Humans get into this weird protective, emotional kinda mood sometimes — like I know why.  Either way, I'm fairly sure she only said that so she could keep me here.  Yeah, she's only trying to scare me.  I can survive just fine on my own.  I've been caught once, but that was only because I hesitated.  I didn't run when I needed to because my family had already been taken.  This time it'll be different.  There won't be anyone to slow me down; I'm on my own now.  The gravity of my last thought settled heavily in my mind as I slid into half-asleep memories of my family and the life I used to know.
No, what the hell!?  I'm back in the petstore.  How?  Did Liz give me back?  I was standing in my old cage, staring at the view of cat food in front of me.  Ironic that they put my kind next to this particular section.  Sometimes cat food is exactly what we end up as.  Cats are the most lethal thing you could get caught by in a human house, next to mouse traps, of course.  It was rumored that the person who discovered our kind had done so because they found someone dead inside one.  I turned a tight circle in my cage, surveying everything.  Was it always this cramped?  Suddenly, the mesh behind me cracked open and a large human hand pushed its way into my cage.  
I screamed, but no sound reached my ears.  I scrambled for my sad little cot, the one thing I could possibly hide under.  Too little too late.  The hand encompassed me from all sides, crushing the air from my lungs as the human yanked me backwards out of my cage.  I recognized this human, but at the same time, I didn't.  This was the human who liked to torture me while he was sopposed to be cleaning our cages.  My brain recognized him, yet he looked terrifyingly different.  He had the black, soulless eyes of the rats I feared as a child, and a mouth full of sharpened teeth.  I desperately struggled to get away, but he only pulled me closer to his face.  His awful maw glimmered in a nasty smug smile.
"Nice to see you too, little mouse," he whispered in his raspy voice that made my skin crawl.  "It's been a while.  Wanna have some fun?"  This can't be happening.  Not again.  Please, not again.  He pressed me into the table with such force that I gasped for breath.  The human loomed over me, taunting my pathetic struggling with a cruel-sounding laugh.  His fingers snaked their way up my body and I let out another soundless scream.  I could feel his hot breath against my face as he leaned down closely above me.  A finger slid beneath my shirt and my blood ran cold.  "Stop, please!" I begged, sobbing.  The human licked his lips eagerly, as if my pleas only fueled whatever else he had planned for me.
My shirt was torn over my head, leaving me helplessly exposed on the table.  The assholes at the pet store don't give us undergarments.  We're just animals to them.  The only reason we have clothes at all is because we look so similar to humans, and we had to look decent.  I whimpered as he slowly slid a finger down my torso.  It inched aganizonly closer and closer to the hem of my shorts.  He was taking his sweet time, having his fun as I suffered.  With a satisfied exhale, he stuffed his finger into my pants, rubbing the pad of it between my legs.  I whimpered, trying desperately to move away from his touch.  Suddenly, something poked me in the side.  The table vibrated beneath me and my vision swam.  Just as his finger pressed into my crotch, darkness pooled into my vision.
Light was suddenly thrown into my face and I cried out in confused fear.  What's happening now?  "Please, don't!  Don’t touch me!" I begged desperately.  The light swung away from me and I could see the familiar trinkets that decorated my glass cage.  My shirt was still on.  Nothing was rubbing against me besides my blanket.  I was back in Liz's room.  It was a dream.  Well, more like a memory.  
Immediately, I started bawling — both from stress and out of relief that none of it was really happening.  Liz stood beside me.  No doubt it was her that had poked me in the side, waking me up.  That, I was grateful for.  "You're ok," Liz whispered as I continued sobbing, "It was a dream, you're alright."  I hugged myself tight and slowly lifted my head, giving her a longing glance.
I don't know what it was I wanted right then.  A hug, maybe?  My family?  My own kind?  All of which were impossible.  I sat with my knees pressed into my chest, rocking back and forth on the mattress beneath me.  Liz dropped a hand down carefully beside my bed and offered me a bottlecap of water.  I accepted it with shaking hands and took a sip, placing the cap on the floor beside my bed.  Her fingers drifted behind me, slowly rubbing small circles into my back.  It wasn't a dehumanizing petting, but rather a kind gesture.  She was trying to calm me down as best she could without scaring me with her human-ness.  
Liz still cares about me.  Even though we fought and I've yelled at her countless times, Liz still cares about me.  She had so many opportunities to hurt me, and would’ve had zero repercussions for doing so.  She’d locked me in, but she was only trying to protect me.  Why?  Because she's a good person, I realized.  I doubt she was even trying to trick me this whole time.  She just genuinely wants to be a good friend.  
The realization kinda just broke me — right then and there.  I whirled around and grasped her finger in a fierce hug.  I don't care what the rules say about assuming the worst of humans.  This human deserves better than that.  From the moment she found out my secret, she tried to give me my freedom back in the safest way she could think of.  Of course, her plans were all flawed, but she was human.  I couldn’t expect too much from her.  I didn’t expect this much from her.
Liz sucked in a surprised breath of air at my touch, and her arm went completely still.  Seconds later, she seemed to break as well.  Her hand curled beneath me, lifting me up and out of the cage.  Honestly, I wasn't even scared.  At this point, I’ve figured she's not going to hurt me.  Liz cupped her hands together, letting me curl up between them.  I could feel her pulse through her fingertip as I continued to hug it tight.  I concentrated on it.  It beat soft and rhythmic against my erratically racing heart.  In the moments afterward, everything drifted away.  My pulse slowed to match her own as I took a couple shaky breaths.  The only thing left of the world was our synchronized heartbeat.
Sleep came for me, but it wasn't long before memories bubbled up again and I was dragged awake in fright.  When I came to, I realized neither my bed nor Liz's hands were beneath me.  I sat up in a panic at the unfamiliar place around me.  "It's alright," Liz's voice reassured me from behind, "You're safe."  She sounded really close, and when I turned to see her, I understood why.  Liz was laying down on her bed with me laying on the pillow beside her.  My face flushed when I recognized where I'd been sleeping.  "You fell asleep in my hands," she explained, "I didn't have the heart to put you back in that cage."  I smiled slightly, recognizing that she made an effort to refer to my fake prison as that cage rather than your cage.  
"Thank you," I whispered in gratitude, "I-  You don't mind if I stay here tonight, do you?"  Liz shook her head, "As long as you're comfortable."  Shockingly, I was comfortable.  More so than I have been in a while, actually.  I'm sure 'sleeping with a human' broke about 20 different rules, but I'd already broken the most fundamental ones; now it doesn't matter how many I break.  
“Even when you fell asleep you were restless.  The only time you weren’t groaning or moving was while I was holding you,” Liz explained quietly.  “Would you.. rather be closer again?”  I sat up, scrutinizing her expression beside me.  At first I thought she was pitying me, but by the light of a single street lamp outside the window, I could tell it was actually worry that clouded her expression.  I nodded very slightly.  I don’t want to have any more twisted memories tonight.
Gentle fingers slid around my sides.  It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.  All the experiences I’ve had with this have been horrible and frightening — human strength threatening to snap me into pieces.  But Liz’s touch was different; it was so much lighter.  I drifted through the air before being eased down onto her chest.  A few seconds passed before I even took a breath.  
“Th- Thank you,” I whispered in awe.  Eventually, I managed to get control of myself, and I sleepily settled back down, curled up on my side.  With my ear pressed to her chest like this, I can hear each even breath rush into her lungs somewhere below me.  Again, Liz's heartbeat lulled me to sleep, and this time no nightmares came to haunt me.  I slept in blissful, dreamless sleep the rest of the night.
When I woke the next morning, I sat alone on Liz's empty bed.  I could hear the shower running from the conjoined bathroom, though.  If I listened closely enough, I could hear her singing quietly to herself.  The moment brought me to the day I'd accidentally revealed my secret.  Looking back…  I regret it.  It's not that I don't appreciate Liz's inexplicable kindness towards me; it's because I do — more than she knows.  It makes leaving so much harder than it should have been.  I'm escaping, I told myself, not leaving.  I can't live behind glass.  I need freedom.  This whole illusion will shatter the second Liz stops caring about me.  It's only a matter of time.  Leave.  Before you get hurt trying to have something you can't.  
Last night was… a fluke.  A moment of weakness, for both of us.  Just then, Liz stepped out of the bathroom with a fresh outfit and a mop of wet hair.  She took one look at me sitting on her bed and smiled.  Her genuine pleasure in seeing me here almost deterred me from my escape plans entirely.  “Good morning,” Liz addressed me, kneeling beside the bed so we were more level with each other.  “I’ll have to put you back on the dresser while I go make breakfast.  Is that alright?”  Obviously, I would rather have walked over there myself, but without my climbing gear I wouldn’t make it very far.  I nodded, sighing, “Just don’t drop me.”  Liz offered her upturned hand and I stilled.
I’d barely been conscious last night when she’d picked me up.  I was tired and in desperate need of comfort.  Now, with her hand spread out beside me, longer than I am tall, my instincts started protesting against it.  I took a few cautious steps towards Liz and hesitantly placed a hand over one of her fingers, feeling the heat radiating off her skin.  “Wren.”  Hearing my name, I snapped out of my stupor and glanced past Liz’s outstretched digits to her face.  “Yes?”  “You know I would never hurt you, right?”  When I stayed silent instead of answering, she pulled her hand away, her voice growing more solemn.  “I don’t want you to be afraid of me.  If you’re having nightmares because of me, I’ll leave you alone.  Promise.”
My eyes widened at the offer.  It was tempting to tell Liz to leave; it would make my escape more bearable.  However, I don’t want her to think my night terrors are about something she’s done, when in reality, they have nothing to do with her.  
"I-  Last night, my dream wasn't about you," I confessed, "It was just bad memories about the pet store I lived in, that's all."  Liz gloomily avoided my gaze, "I told you you'd end up there last night before you went to bed..  I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry.  I wouldn't let that happen to you."  I assumed she wouldn't have actually sent me back, but hearing her say it aloud was tons more reassuring.  "Here," Liz began, standing to shuffle through the box she'd grabbed the day before.  "How about I put up some rope for you like you asked?  That way you can travel around, yourself."
I watched in disbelief as Liz fastened a few pieces of string around the room in various hard-to-get-to places.  She had, albeit unknowingly, given me a clear opportunity to escape.  After setting up several lengths of rope, Liz headed downstairs to get breakfast and I got to climbing.  Scaling the bed was easy.  Its side is made of fabric so I could find a foothold or handhold virtually anywhere.  The lower half was lifted off the ground by a wooden frame, but it wasn't so high that I couldn't just drop the rest of the way to the floor.  
After wandering around the carpeted floors of Liz's room, I came across one of the outlets I'd spotted from my vantage point in the cage.  It's only a few inches — in human measurements — off the floor.  Easily reachable with a small amount of climbing rope and a grapple.  Obviously, I have no grapple on me, so I instead returned to the top of the dresser where the cage is, opting to sit on the ledge to wait for Liz rather than going back inside the awful glass box.  Not that I could, anyway.  The lock was still duct taped shut from last night.
My breakfast and Liz arrived shortly after I'd scaled the dresser.  She placed my meal on the table in my cage and peeled away the tape with a slightly guilty expression.  Liz turned away and looked over the distance I'd traveled with an impressed nod.  "Did my ropes work alright?" she asked once I'd settled down to eat.  I nodded, mouth too full to speak.  The meal was heavenly; Liz had brought a little bit of something made from eggs that I don’t know how to pronounce.  However, whenever I tried to plan a way to craft a grapple, my stomach churned like I'd eaten something rotten or raw.  Originally, I'd have chalked it up to nervousness, but the feeling wasn't quite the same.  After nearly blanching seeing Liz return to my cage, smiling at me warmly, I realized that I wasn't actually nervous.  My sickness stemmed from guilt.
Guilt for leaving?  Never.  I want to leave.  Guilt for leaving Liz alone after all she's done for me?  Leaving her to think she was the reason I’d left?  Maybe.  Ok, yes.  Fine.  It's not like I have to leave right this minute, though.  Besides, I still need a grapple.  Oh, and it would be nice if I could have Liz take me around the house while no one's home.  That way, I could map out the layout of everything beforehand.  It Is always best to be prepared, right?  
As I tried to calm my stomach into eating the rest of my glorious meal, Liz began working at something on her desk.  Because of where the desk is, she was sitting with her back turned; I couldn't tell what she was doing.  Curious, I finished my meal and stepped back out of the cage.  "What are you doing over there?" I asked.  Silence.  At first I thought she was ignoring me, then I noticed Liz's foot was tapping along to an unhearable rhythm.  She was listening to music.
I sighed, realizing I'd have to walk all the way across the room to get Liz's attention.  Expertly, I made my way down the newly fashioned climbing rope by the edge of the dresser.  The trip over wouldn't be all that difficult for me, it's just tiring.  Wandering the room, I again stopped at the outlet that was close to the floor.  It's so perfect, it's like it's beckoning to me.  Just then, the door to Liz's room opened wide.  
"Liz honey, I was wondering if-  AHH!"  I flinched at the scream.  My borrower's sense raced and my mind panicked, convinced I was caught in the act of escape.  "Liz's pet escaped!" her mother called down the hallway, "Ron, come catch it before it gets in the walls!"  I could barely hear Liz's protests against the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears.  I dashed behind a beanbag chair sitting by the outlet, pressing myself to the wall.  Moments later, my hiding spot was dragged away.  A cardboard box hung ominously in the air above me.  
Crying out in terror, I threw myself into a ball on the floor, instinct reacting how I'd been taught.  "No!  Wait!  Stop!  I let her out, it was fine!  I was watching her!"  Liz's voice was joined by a few others, both of which sounded harsh and angry.  I didn't dare move a muscle.  Footsteps thundered around me, their vibrations shaking everything.  Briefly, the image of a human's foot coming down on top of me flashed through my mind.  I whimpered at the horrible notion that my life could very easily end right here.  
Something tapped the floor scarily close to my head, and I scrambled away in shock.  It was Liz, trying to get my attention.  Both her parents were still scolding her, but she had her back turned to them and offered me her hand.  I gratefully scrambled on, clinging to her fingers.  Though it was by no means safe, Liz's hands were a hell of a lot safer than the floor where I could be stepped on or boxed up.  "You can't have that thing running around the house like that!" her mother warned, "You have to watch it carefully."  "Mmhm," her father added, "They can hide in a matter of seconds, Lizzie.  You can't let it out of your sight.  Your mother will have a fit if it gets into the walls."  
Liz's chastised expression drifted between her parents and me.  The longer they spoke, the more furious I became.  I wanted so badly to join in on the argument.  I'd give Liz's parents a piece of my mind.  The audacity they had to call me an 'it', to speak about me as if I were a dumb little animal.  However, I realized that was the entire point of keeping my mouth shut.  The borrower secret was still alive, at least slightly.  For all they know, I am a dumb little animal.  Humans don't know we're sentient, and we don't want them to know.  So, I kept my mouth shut tight, teeth grinding in loathing as I sat in Liz's hand.  
Eventually, after Liz repeatedly promised to look after me better, her parents left.  She locked the door behind them and brought me to her desk, setting me on its surface.  "I'm… really sorry," Liz apologized quietly, "Are you alright?"  Her fingers hovered around me, unsure whether she should search me for any injuries.  I nodded, "I'm alright.  I'm just a bit shaken."  "I- I didn't even realize you were on the floor.  What were you doing out there?"  I tried hard not to give myself away, but I couldn't help glancing at the electrical socket I'd been looking at before I'd been spotted.
As if in slow motion, Liz turned and followed my gaze.  She stared at the place I'd been standing for a long moment.  "I- I was trying to get to you!" I said quickly.  Liz turned back to me with a crestfallen expression.  "I wanted to see what you were working on over here," I explained in a hurry, "You were listening to music.  You didn't hear me call out to you.  I thought, with my new climbing ropes, that I could just come to you myself, but then your mom came in and saw me."  Liz only stared at me numbly.  "Wh- What?" I stammered.  Her gaze drifted to the electrical socket again.  "You want to leave."  Liz's statement revertibrated hollowly through my core.  "No!  No, I-"  "I've seen you staring at that outlet before.  I know you use those to get around houses.  I can put two and two together, Wren."  She turned back to me, and I expected her to scold me for trying to run away, though I wasn't, at least not right then.  However, Liz just looked gut-wrenchingly sad.  
"I understand if you want to run away.  Humans have treated you so horribly, I'm surprised you haven't tried to get out of here sooner.  But…" she took a shuddering breath.  Here it comes, I thought bitterly, 'but you can't leave because you're a little pet and I don't want you to.'  "But you can't stay here."  I was so confused, I didn't even understand what she'd said.  "What?" I asked faintly.  "You can't stay here," Liz repeated, "It isn't safe.  There are traps in the walls; I watched them get set up.  And if my mother found you.. it wouldn't be good.  There are better houses than this one, trust me."  
Liz is just… letting me go?  "You- You don't want me to stay?" I asked.  I immediately regretted it when Liz's eyes moistened with tears.  "Of course I want you to stay!" she cried, "You mean so much to me, and the thought of you getting caught or sold again makes me feel sick.  But I don't want you to feel trapped here!"  "I don't!" I yelled over her increasingly upset voice.  "I don't feel trapped here; I feel the opposite of trapped!  I have too much freedom here!  So much freedom that I feel like I should run away just because I know I can, but I don't want to!  Every time I think of escape, I feel guilty.  I don't want to leave, but my instincts keep telling me I should run while I still can."
Now my own eyes fuzzed over with hot tears.  "I don't want to live in another house where I'll have to hide and be alone.  I want to live here, with you.  You don't treat me like I'm worthless or below you, like the other humans.  Ever since you found out my secret, you've tried to treat me like another human, but you can’t because that would put me in danger.  You.. You treat me like a friend, and I don't want to lose that," I explained weakly.  
Liz's eyes widened, tears drying up before they could come leaking out.  "Then stay."  She spoke so softly that I almost couldn't hear her.  Oh how badly I wanted to.  How badly I wanted to live the rest of my life with the one human in the world who cares.  But I can't live in a cage.  I won't be confined to a box just because Liz's stupid mother thinks I'll go crazy in the walls, or whatever the hell she's so afraid I'll do.  "I want to," I said ruefully, "but I want freedom more."  
Liz sat silently for the longest time.  Eventually, she was called out of her room for something, and she stood.  "I'm taking you back to the dresser," she said monotonously, "You'll be safe from my parents there."  "What about my freedom?" I asked nervously.  "I need some time to come up with a plan," Liz said, "but if I don't figure it out by tomorrow, I'll take you to a house where you'll be safer."  My stomach dropped.  Liz held out her hand and I numbly sat down, waiting for her to bring me across the room.  Once I was deposited by the glass walls, Liz stepped out of the room and disappeared.  
I trudged over to my bed and sat on the end, staring at nothing.  After a few moments, the tears building up behind my eyes came flooding out.  I bawled into my pillows, heaving sobs echoing around the stupid glass box.  It just wasn't fair.  All I wanted was freedom and to be treated with an ounce of respect.  Was the world really that cruel as to deny me those?  Yes.  I already know the answer.  I just hoped that by some miracle I could be given a different one.
My head was buried so deep beneath my pillows that the daylight stung when it slid through.  It had been hours since Liz left, and my stomach had been tying itself in knots for what felt like forever, until the bedroom door burst open so violently it ricocheted off the wall behind it with a thunderous, wobbly noise.  I bolted upright, heart flinging into my throat.  "I know what I have to do!" Liz's ecstatic voice bounced off the glass walls a bit too loudly.  Noticing my reaction, Liz opened the side door and motioned for me to step out of my awful prison.  "Wren, I've got it!" she exclaimed, "I know how to get you freedom right here in the house."  
It sounded too good to be true.  Impossible, even.  "How?  I thought you said there were traps in the walls."  "That's just it," Liz began, "You won't live in the walls!"  She brought her hand up to me again, but I hesitated.  "Where will I live?" I asked uncertainly.  "Come on, I'll show you."
Liz waited patiently as I slowly stepped up onto her palm.  The sudden switch between getting around myself and letting Liz move me was a bit sudden.  I could have walked over if I wanted to, but I was curious about the plan Liz concocted.  She is a good human; I trust she won't hurt me.  After situating myself on Liz's palm, I watched the world shift around me.  I was taken to the bookshelf on the other side of Liz's bed.  "Look," she began, pulling back a stack of books with her free hand.  "There's all this space behind here, and a hole at the back for electrical cords."  She placed me on the shelf and I took a few hesitant steps forward.  The bookshelf was much deeper than any of the books, so they sat like a wall, blocking out a hidden empty space between the back of the bookcase and the books themselves.  The hole that Liz told me about was a cut-out semicircle in the middle of the back wall, level with the shelf.  With a full case of books, the place Liz picked for me wasn't all that bad.  The walls would be better, of course.  That's the best place to stay away from humans.  However, I don't want to stay away from Liz, I just need somewhere normal to live — not a glass box.
"It's.. almost perfect," I replied after looking things over.  "I have all sorts of things to decorate it too!" Liz said excitedly.  For a brief moment, I thought she was talking about the dollhouse-looking objects from the cage, but she pulled out a small plastic container from a drawer.  "I used to decorate my desk with these little strings of lights, but I think they'll make for some nice lighting in your new home, don't you think?" Liz asked, holding up the container.  I nodded, relieved.  "Yes, those are perfect, thank you."  I searched the shelf a bit more thoroughly, planning how I wanted everything to look, and what I might need to borrow.  
"So, what's the plan?  What do I have to do to ditch that awful thing?" I asked, gesturing at the glass box.  "Don't worry about that.  The plan mostly involves me pretending to screw up and lose you in the walls somewhere.  My mom might even call the exterminators."  I went ridgid at the mention of those people.  "They won't find you," Liz reassured me, "You won't actually have run away, so even if they do come, they won't find anything.  You’ll be right with me the whole time, and they wouldn’t think to check with me."  Taking a few deep breaths to calm myself, I thought through Liz's idea.
"Ok,” I began, talking through the plan, “so you pretend to lose me, and I hide with you.  Your parents freak out, but they won't find me and think I ran away into another house.  Then, when the coast is clear and everything dies down, I… I get to live freely again."  My voice tapered off in excited awe.  If this plan really does work, I can get my life back.  The realization sunk in and I beamed up at Liz.  She held out her hand for me to climb on, but I grabbed it instead, hugging her fingers fiercely.  
"Thank you," I said, tears choking my voice.  "Hey, don't celebrate too soon," Liz reminded me, "We haven't actually pulled this off yet."  "I know," I answered, "I'm not thanking you for my grand escape.  I'm thanking you for caring about me enough to figure this all out.  I don't know how in the world I got this lucky, getting chosen by a human who cares.  I thought they were a myth."  Liz chuckled, "Well in that case, you're very welcome."
Liz glanced over at the glass container on her dresser.  “I don’t want to ‘lose’ you right away,” she added, “It’ll look too suspicious that you disappeared right after I got in trouble for letting you out.”  “Oh,” I said disappointedly.  I understood her logic, though.  Liz wanted this to seem as realistic as possible, because things would go horribly for me if her parents suspected I was still in the house.  “I’m thinking Friday, five days from today.  What do you think?” Liz asked.  “As long as I’m out of there by the end of the month, I could care less,” I responded.  
The days passed by agonizingly slowly.  I hate sitting around idly knowing how much work I have ahead of me.  As a borrower, I’m used to constantly working on something.  Even in my cage at the pet store, I busied myself with analyzing the humans that passed by.  Here in the glass cage in Liz’s empty room, I had nothing to do but bide my time until Liz came back from a place called high school.  I’m not used to having this much free time.  I wanted to explore the room, maybe look for more hidden places I could build into living spaces, but after the scare of Liz’s mom walking in on me outside the cage, I decided it was safer to stay put.  I didn’t dare imagine what might’ve happened if Liz hadn’t been there to protect me.  I’d been terrifyingly close to getting captured in another box.  
As the week stretched on endlessly, Liz and I crafted some things for my new home.  Every day, after she returned from school, Liz took the time to open the cage door.  I’d traverse the room and stash a few things for later, which Liz happily hid for me in her desk drawer.  
Once she came back with a completely different attitude, though.  She hadn’t even acknowledged me; she just sat on the edge of her bed looking at nothing.  “Liz?” I said questioningly.  I watched her flinch slightly.  When she turned to me, she looked so disheartened I thought something had happened to our plans.  “I…  I was just in my sister’s room.  She was h- having trouble with the other borrower.  I forgot about her pet being.. one of you.  I didn’t remember because she always calls them an ‘it’.”  I could feel the color drain from my face.  “What..  What happened?”  Slowly, her eyes drifted to me, then quickly darted away.
“Aubrey set up some fake scene, and wanted her.. her pet to be in a little car for a few pictures.  The borrower.. she didn’t fit.  That car was just the wrong scale, but my sister didn’t care.  She stuffed her in there — the borrower.  She couldn’t even tell her to stop because, you know, your kind isn’t supposed to speak to us.  Her-”  Liz took a shaking breath before continuing.  “Her arm dislocated.  The metal pieces of the car sliced her up.  She.. Wren, she looked awful.”  Now Liz had turned back to me, tears in her eyes.  “And the worst part?  Aubrey couldn’t even get her out.  She didn’t tell my parents because she thought they would punish her or take away her stupid little pet.  The borrower — poor thing — she was stuck in that car for a day and a half before my sister came to me, begging me not to tell anyone.”
My whole body ricocheted with shudders.  I couldn’t imagine going through that, much less without speaking to my torturer — begging them to help or stop or something.  “Wh- What did you do?” I asked quietly.  “I told my sister to get an exacto knife.  The car’s outer part is plastic.  I would cut her out of there if I had to, to make sure she got out with the least amount of injuries.  The borrower, god, she was so scared.  I could see it in her face.  The moment I sent my sister for the knife she snapped out of the whole playing dumb act.  She didn’t speak to me, but she looked right at me like I was going to kill her.”  Liz’s breath hitched on a sob.  
“I- I got her out, but she shrieked the whole time.  She.. she really thought I was going to hurt her.  Aubrey grabbed her the moment she was free.  It was scary; she only made the borrower’s cuts start bleeding again.  I swear she said something — probably tried begging my sister to put her down — but I spoke over her so she wouldn’t ruin the secret.  I convinced Aubrey to let me patch her up.  I got her cuts to stop bleeding, but she gave me that pathetic stare again the whole time.  When I tried to put her arm back into place she spoke to me.  It was barely intelligible over her sobbing, so I pretended not to notice for the sake of the secret.”  I was outside the cage now, standing at the very edge of the dresser.  “What did she say?”  “J- Just begging,” Liz replied in a thin whisper.  “She just kept begging me to make the pain stop.  I popped her shoulder into place and she passed out.  I thought.. I- I thought she’d died.”
“She didn’t though, right?” I asked nervously.  Liz shook her head, “No, she survived.  But who knows how long that’ll last.”  After that, she became too choked up to say anything more.  As fast I could manage, I made my way down the dresser and across the room to her.  Seeing me standing in front of her, Liz sank to the floor and gently scooped me up, hugging me to her chest.  “If I ever made you feel that scared of me, I’m…  I’m so sorry.  Please believe that I would never do that kind of thing to you.”  I pressed myself closer against her.  “It’s ok, Liz.  It- It’ll be fine.  I haven’t been afraid of you like that for a while now.”  I know it won’t be fine — at least not for the poor soul in the other room.  However, we couldn’t help them.  We were already risking so much with our plan.  If we tried to break out the other borrower, it would be nearly impossible not to get caught.  Then neither of us would be free.
The night before the big plan day, I sat on the edge of Liz’s desk, having scaled its side with the rope that she’d attached to it.  I worried over the plan, fidgeting with the hem of my clothes.  
“Hey,” Liz said, shaking me from thought.  She’d been working on something called ‘homework’ that she didn’t really want to do, but apparently had to.  “I have something for you.”  I turned around, surprised.  “Call it a housewarming gift,” she continued, “Earlier you said that you wanted a grapple like the one you had before all this.”  I nodded; I had in fact admitted that to her.  Though I don’t need it to run away anymore, it would still be nice to have, especially for scaling the bookshelf.  Liz fished out a few items and laid them out in front of me.  A length of string, but most importantly, a shining metal paperclip.  
“I knew I couldn’t make a grapple myself, but..”  “It’s perfect,” I assured her, “I can make a great grapple from these materials here.  Thank you.”  My nervous jitters faded away as I worked at the string, twining it perfectly so I could keep a solid grip on it as I climbed.  Before I knew it, Liz had to take me back to the cage.  “Say your goodbyes, Liz joked, “Tonight will be your last night sleeping here.”  I smiled giddily.  “Do you think I can keep this bed, or maybe this table and chairs?  They aren’t half bad.”  “You can have whatever you want,” Liz replied.  “Just get some rest, it’ll be a long day tomorrow.”  
Despite immediately heading to bed, I couldn't sleep.  My anxiety had returned, not from being inactive, but by the fact that if Liz and I were caught tricking her parents, I would most likely be sent back to the pet store.  Most of us who get sent back don't live to see our cells again.  If a borrower gets sent back and all the cages are full — and they almost always are with all the shipments of newfound borrowers — the pet store doesn't wait for a vacancy; you get put down right there and then.  It saves space and effort, apparently.  
No matter which way I turned, I couldn't find a comfortable spot.  It didn't help that dark thoughts had begun to crowd my mind.  Finally, I sat up exhausted.  "Liz?"  The bedsheets ruffled, and I could see her outline sit up in the dark.  "Yes?" she replied.  "I- I'm scared," I confessed, "What if we get caught?  What if your parents send me back?"  The room was silent for a moment, then the floorboards creaked.  Liz stepped over to the glass wall beside me.  I stepped out of bed and gazed up at her, bent over to look at me.  
We watched eachother silently through the glass, until she reached over and opened the door on the side of the cage.  Liz sat on the edge of her bed while I came to stand at the front of the dresser.  "I would never let that happen to you," she stated firmly, "Even if my parents do catch us, I'd come up with a plan… I'd think of something.  Surely I could convince them to let me keep you.  Though you'd be stuck in there, it would be better than being sent back, wouldn't it?"  "Yeah," I whispered weakly.
I sucked in a surprised gasp of air as Liz's hands reached towards me.  Her fingers delicately folded around my sides, gently lifting me off the dresser.  She held me close as she slid back into her own bed, placing me on the pillow beside her.  "It's alright to be scared," Liz whispered as she settled in, "I'm scared too.  But I promise you, the worst that can happen is you have to stay in the glass cage, that's all.  I'd still let you out whenever you like, and I would still treat you like a person.  No matter what happens tomorrow, you'll be safe, I'll make sure of it."  
My head spun as I tried to convince myself that things would be fine.  “Can you..  I- I mean…”  Giving up on speech, I slid off the pillow and gently placed a hand on Liz’s side.  I could feel her pulse quicken as I hauled myself onto her chest.  “You don’t mind this, do you?”  Liz shook her head with a soft smile, gently resting a cupped hand around me.  I sighed in relief, snuggling into the softness of the surface beneath me.  Her low breathing was already lulling me to sleep.  I mumbled a soft thanks to Liz before passing out.
In the morning, I was jostled awake by Liz's movements on the bed.  Still half asleep, I let her carry me back to the glass cage.  She opened the top hatch and set me carefully onto my own bed.  Later, she dropped off a portion of her own breakfast for me and headed to school.  Liz had made pancakes, just for me.  I smiled at the kind gesture.  A few months ago, I wouldn't have believed that humans were capable of sympathizing with my kind.  Now here I was eating her same meals and sleeping right with her, and I did so of my own free will.  I'm not a pet and I never really was, at least not for very long.  Hopefully, I won't even have to live in this awful glass box anymore.
It was nerve-wracking waiting for Liz to come back home.  A part of me was glad she was gone, because it meant the plan couldn't be enacted, but another part of me was desperate for her to arrive, because I just might get my freedom back today.  When I finally heard the sound of the front door opening, announcing the return of the humans from school, I could feel nervous momentum building in my stomach.  I was simultaneously thrilled and terrified.  Liz came into the room and I rushed to the side door.  She slid it open and let me out.  "Are you ready?" she asked as I stepped over the threshold for, hopefully, the last time.  I nodded silently, too afraid that if I spoke, I might back out.
"Alright, I'm going to slip you into my pocket now.  Get situated, but try not to move once my parents come in; it might be visible from outside."  Hesitantly, I stepped onto Liz's fingers and slid down into the pocket of her shorts.  The material was scratchy, and it was a bit claustrophobic, but I reminded myself that my freedom was just around the corner, if I could only hold still for a while.  Once I got situated, I couldn't tell what was going on outside, but I felt Liz wandering around, moving things.  Eventually, her weight shifted and she got on the floor.  "Mom!  Dad!  Come quick!  My borrower escaped again and-"  She cut herself off and hit the floor, creating a dull thud, pretending to grab for me.  I instinctively flinched at the sound.  Liz briefly put a hand over the pocket's side, reassuring me that everything was alright.
Moments later, I could hear the muffled sound of footsteps pounding up the stairs.  Between the harshly loud voices of panicked humans, and the jostling movements Liz made, I could tell very little of what was going on.  I held my breath and stayed as still as I could, silently hoping that our plan would succeed.  I didn’t know what Liz was doing, but suddenly the pocket stretched thin, pinning me down and almost suffocating me between two walls of material.  Thrashing in the tight space, I came close to calling out in fear before the tension suddenly released.  I fell to the bottom of the pocket, shaken.  The tight space would thin similarly on occasion, but Liz made sure that the pressure wasn’t as crushing as the first time.
After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the voices outside died down.  I heard the sound of a door locking, and soon Liz’s fingers slid through the opening above me, carefully working their way around me until she could hoist me up and out of the little space.  I blinked at the brightness of the room, letting my eyes adjust to the light after being stuck in the dark pocket.  “What happened?” I asked once I oriented myself.  Liz sat down at her desk, placing me gently on its surface in front of her.  “I’m grounded,” she stated, “but it worked.  My parents think you ran away.  They’re not even calling the exterminators; it’s too expensive.  My mom’s hoping you get caught in a trap, and my dad thinks you’ve run out of the house.”  “So.. we did it?  I’m free?!”  Liz nodded enthusiastically, grinning from ear to ear.
I squealed happily, overjoyed at the good news.  “Just remember that you have to stay hidden now.  You can’t slip up and get caught anymore,” Liz reminded me.  “Yeah, obviously!  That’s how my old life used to be.”  “Let’s get your new place in order,” Liz suggested, offering her upturned hand.  I eagerly slid in, waiting as Liz dug out the stash of things I’d collected, including the grapple I’d been working on.  A few books were removed in order for us to get behind the rest.  Once she put me and my things down on the shelf, Liz took another piece of climbing rope and attached it to the opening behind the shelves.  She measured out the length of it all the way down to the floor.  I made an internal note to make myself some climbing gloves.  I’ll need them if I’m going to scale this bookshelf every day.  
Liz came to my aid with the lightning.  She used a few pieces of duct tape, a rarity item to my kind, to secure the long string of lights around the perimeter of my new home.  A battery box sat in the corner with a little switch on its side, perfect for manipulating the electrical currents.  My old home in the walls had one haphazardly built switch that dug into the electricity in the humans’ house.  It had burst into flames more than a few times.  I remember fearing it when I was younger.  The voltage that shot through the humans’ wiring was enough to instantly fry a borrower alive.  Come to think of it, living in the bookshelf will be a massive upgrade from my old home, which was filled with similar hazards.  We do the best with what we have, but now that I have so much more, I can live comfortably for the first time in my life.  As I continued to settle in, Liz helped me move things around.  She took the furniture from the cage that I'd asked for, and placed it down wherever I pointed to.  With everything in place, Liz left to have dinner while I added final touches to everything.
With the wall of books replaced, my new home was surprisingly dark.  Only a slim ray of light shone from the space above the tops of the books.  However, once I flipped the light switch, the place shone brightly.  I marveled over how amazing my new home was.  As a borrower who's been abducted, sold, and caught numerous times, I'm doing incredibly well for myself.  It's tough work befriending a human, but the advantages are definitely worth it.  Liz came back from her meal with a small portion for me.  I ate on the ledge of my shelf, which would be like a front porch if my home were a human one, and afterwards I got back to work on my grapple.  
"Are you settling in alright?" Liz asked me.  I nodded happily, "This place is better than anything I could've wished for, even before the humans took over.  You have a really good eye for potential borrowing hideouts."  She smiled slightly, "Thanks, I tried to find a secret, out-of-the-way place that would also be a good spot to live in.  My first thought was to make you a home under my bed, because no one would ever find you there, but that wouldn't be nearly as nice a living space."
We talked for a while, then Liz left again, trying not to be too suspicious to her family.  When she came back, she was ready for bed.  "Are you sure that the dollhouse bed is comfortable for you?" Liz whispered once all the lights were off and the house was asleep.  "It's a lot more comfortable than my old bed," I mused, "but if you find anything you think might be better, let me know.  I'm also going to do some borrowing of my own, so I'll see what I find."  "You don't have to do that, you know."  "What?  Go borrowing?" I asked.  "I know I don't have to, but I want to.  It'll make things seem.. almost normal again."  "Almost normal?" Liz echoed.  
Silence pierced the room as I thought longingly of what I still desperately miss.  "My family," I replied in an almost inaudible whisper.  The sheets ruffled as Liz shifted uncomfortably.  "I know you can't make them come back," I added, "You've done so much for me, more than I could ever ask.  But I still miss them."  "I'm sorry."  "Don't be," I said hastily, "It's not your fault we were discovered."  
The room became so quiet afterwards, that I thought Liz had fallen asleep.  I stood up to head back into my own bed, when she spoke.  "It's so awful," Liz said quietly.  "The audacity in the way my kind treats yours.  It almost makes me wish I wasn't a human, so I wouldn't have to be grouped with all the horrible people who are."  I snickered, despite the gloominess in Liz's voice.  "I'm sorry for laughing," I apologized, "It's just..  I used to wish I was human all the time.  I've always been baffled by the way you can go anywhere in the world you want, while me and my kind are stuck in the walls and floors and attics of houses our whole lives."  “Huh,” Liz huffed, “I guess I didn’t think of that.”  
In the morning, Liz congratulated me again on my new freedom, then trudged unhappily downstairs.  Part of her punishment for ‘losing’ me was a bucketload of chores.  Her parents would keep her busy all weekend long.  I felt slightly guilty; it’s my fault Liz is in so much trouble, but then again, it was her plan for this to happen.  Still, I paused work on my grapple to make something for Liz.  I’d have to borrow some thread to make it, so I scaled the dresser and made my way to her desk.  The sewing box that held all the thread sat packed away beside a stack of books.  I climbed up their spines like a wide ladder, grinning in satisfaction once I made it to the top.  Good to see my skills haven’t deteriorated over the past few months.  I popped open the large clip on the side of the box, carefully pushing back the lid.  The amount of items stashed away in there is astounding.  I could make use of every last little thing.  However, as per borrowing rules, I can only take what I need, not what I want.  Even if the needles sticking out of that pincushion do look very enticing.
Carefully, I bent over the rim of the box, reaching down into its depths to pull out a wheel of thread.  The cover of the book beneath me slid slightly as I bent over.  My fingers could touch the edge of the spool.  Just a little further…  The surface beneath me jolted backwards, unbalanced by my weight.  I feel head over heels into the pile of knickknacks below.  Maybe my borrowing skills had deteriorated a bit after all.  Thankfully I hadn’t fallen on anything sharp.  Glancing up at the top of the box, I charted a rather hazardous path back out.  My balance just isn’t what it used to be, though.  Even as I tried to get out, the items I climbed up collapsed beneath me, leaving me no possible escape.  This wasn’t too worrying.  Liz would help me out when she got back.  However, when the door to the bedroom opened, her mother stepped in instead.
Stifling a gasp, I quickly buried myself beneath some of the items around me, praying that the human hadn’t spotted me.  I couldn’t see what she was doing from my hidden spot, but I could feel her footsteps wandering the room.  They were so close to leaving, but paused just before the desk and the door.  “Oh, that’s where the sewing box went.”  A cold chill wrung down my spine.  I pressed myself further into the box of items.  The whole thing darkened as the lid was snapped back into place.  A slight sickness built in my stomach as my hiding spot was lifted up and carried off.  
After a few minutes of swaying that threatened to make me vomit, the box was placed in a closet.  My world went completely dark as the human closed the closet door behind her.  My thoughts spiraled in panic.  Would Liz still be able to find me in here?  I have limited time now.  The sealed box only trapped so much air inside.  Once it ran out…  I scrambled out of hiding and tried in vain to at least open the box again, but it was clipped shut from the outside.  Please come and get me, I silently begged Liz.  The irony of my situation was humiliating.  I’ve just got my freedom back, now I’m going to die before properly using it.  
I waited with bated breath, trying to conserve what little air I had.  If I ever do get out of here, Liz is never going to let me go borrowing again.  I’m just out of practice, that’s all.  Maybe I should’ve started with something a bit easier to borrow.  For a long while, I sat alone.  The edges of my vision were beginning to fuzz over.  At first I thought I was imagining it, but as I turned my head around and grew dizzy, I realized it was getting harder to breathe as well.  I had to take larger and larger breaths just to satisfy my lungs.  It seemed like hours had passed since I was trapped here, but I couldn't tell.  I couldn't even think straight anymore.  My nerves spiked as light suddenly filtered into the box.  By that time, I could barely move.  I just lay on the bottom of the box, gasping for breath.  Numb from my time in solitude, I could hardly process what happened.  I could faintly hear the click of the latch opening, and the sound of someone gasping in horror.  The touch of fingers the length of my body brushed my skin.  
Again and again I slipped in and out of consciousness, until something heavy pumped methodically into my chest.  Suddenly, my eyes shot open.  I desperately gulped up as much air as I could.  “Wren!” Liz cried, “Oh my gosh, are you alright!?”  I couldn’t even speak; all I could do was lay on my side and try not to fall back into unconsciousness.  "I'm…  I'm ok," I answered between breaths.  "I came to talk to you, but you weren't here!” Liz exclaimed, “The only other thing that was missing was the sewing box, so I assumed that's where you were."  "Thanks," I wheezed, "I don't know how much longer I would've lasted in there."  "You have to be careful, Wren," Liz warned.  Sighing, I moved to sit up.  My head spun slightly, and my vision fuzzed in and out.  I clutched my head and squeezed my eyes tightly shut to try and stop the after-effects of my near suffocation.  Liz handed me a bottle cap filled with water, which I guzzled down immediately.  
"Why didn't you just wait for me?" Liz asked gently, "I could've given you whatever you needed."  I shook my head slightly, knowing she would ask me something like that.  "I want to do things myself," I explained, "Now that I'm free, I want to go back to living normally — taking care of myself rather than waiting on some human to take care of me.  Not that you haven't been doing a good job of it," I added quickly.  Liz's face scrunched in thought for a moment.  "I get it," she said after a while, "You want to have someone around to help out, but not to help with everything, just the bigger things you might not be able to do.  In other words, a friend, not a caretaker."  I smiled, thankful that Liz surprisingly did understand what I meant.  You never know with humans.  Sometimes they just don't get it.  
I preferred not to get back into the box I'd been held captive in, so I enlisted Liz's help to get me some thread.  She gave me more than enough of it, but I could certainly use the extra lengths.  Maybe I could sew some new clothes for myself later, once I find some decent materials that the humans won't miss.
After that incident, I took things a bit slower.  I'd rushed back into my old way of life a bit too quickly.  A week or so passed as I let myself adapt to my new surroundings.  Yes, I've been living in this house for months now, but I've never properly explored it.  I expanded my ventures further and further from Liz's room.  Before I was fully allowed out, Liz tested me on different necessary things that I'd been taught earlier in my life.  With a few training sessions under my belt, I refreshed my memory on everything from finding split-second hiding places, to learning what items the humans of the household would or wouldn't miss.  During my last day of training, I managed to hide so well that Liz couldn't find me, even after searching for half an hour and knowing many of my favorite hiding spots.  
Once she trusted my borrowing skills, Liz started letting me off on different levels of the house to gather supplies.  Normally, I used the spaces between walls to get from place to place, but with the intricate, borrower-specific traps set up inside them, I opted to stick with something a bit safer, and faster too.  Finally, my life was starting to take shape again.  All the endless days at the petstore worrying over how many days I had left suddenly seemed like nothing but a bad dream.  Though, sometimes memories would come back to haunt me in real nightmares.
Just like the first time, Liz was always there to comfort me.  Whenever I woke up in a cold sweat, I'd slip out onto the bookshelf and quietly call for her.  Every time, Liz would carefully pull me into her open palms and place me gently onto her chest.  I know it's corny and babyish, but sleeping closer to Liz seemed to be a cure-all for anything awful that might have happened over the course of the day.  She doesn't just save me from nightmares, sometimes it’s homesickness for my family, and sometimes it’s something simple like a bad supply run. 
Over time, being Liz's roommate and friend became less of a hassle and more of something genuine.  Earlier, it took everything I had, and sometimes a bit more, to keep our relationship on good terms.  Now, even during the rare times we do fight, I never worry that our unlikely friendship might fall apart.  I've never felt this content before.  For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I can spend the rest of my life right here, doing just this.
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kelocitta · 1 year
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What if I want to hear your thoughts on the void worms and saint and how people see them? What then? Because now I'm curious ngl (no pressure tho)
Ah I certainly could try to get my thoughts in a row, and was sorta planning on it once I got a sideblog set up (I have it but its WIP at the moment) I can sorta cover what I primarily think though, a bit less properly thought out and in order. Warning for Downpour endings.
New addition made after I typed everything: I did not hold back this is so long. I went insane okay
*Small Note, I know Rain World is themed heavily around concepts of Buddhism and it's teachings, but for the most part I'm not really gonna invest much in that for my own thoughts on the things in it.
I'll start by saying I have a lot of complex thoughts on Saint, I don't dislike their campaign (It's neat!) but I do have hm… certain feelings on the what it communicates and how it communicates it, but I'll also say I think I interpret Rain World in a very different way than a lot of people do, or at least have a "second half" to the thoughts people tend to express, and the way Saint plays out gives me conflicted emotions from those feelings. That and with RW's inspirations its just… easy to be conflicted emotionally. Without going to far into things I guess you could say that in many ways I see Saint as a bad thing. Not really a villain but a… negative. It's complicated and I don't really have the words for it right now, other than I think RW does a lot with its themes of life and death and Saint complicates it as an outside force imposing a solution. And perhaps that statement there makes the caption on the art a little more clear- "Do you think yourself above it all?" as something that could be the statement of either Saint or the Worm.
Jumping from that to the "how people see them" I often see a sort of expression of surprise, mostly playfully, about how the solution turned out to be a slugcat (Saint). The idea there is a sort of novel "Ha! Its this silly little forgettable creature" but in what way is Saint any different from the worms? Are the worms not also creatures, just ones that live in an environment most cannot? They are massive and incomprehensible from our perspective, but thats hardly a new thing- there are some things just above peoples ability to understand, and that really doesn't make them abnormal or unnatural. I suppose I find the whole placement of the worms as some sort of divine creature or gods to be misplaced because even within RW the concept of a god is recontextualized- Five Pebbles gloats to the player that they are "Godlike in comparison" while rotting away from the inside and crumbling to pieces, because at the end of it all his position doesn't save him from the mechanisms of the world, even if he stands high above many of the creatures of the world and would be "incomprehensible" to a lizard or slugcat in the same way a giant space worm would be to us. Are the echos, ghosts as they are, gods? So what does it even mean to be a god, in the context of rain world?
There's another aspect, which is that ultimately the worms still lie at the heart of the solution, the final step when the survivor leaps into the void is to have themselves plucked by the worms and ascended. When artificer dives into the sea, the worms reject them for their incomplete karma (They observe them, and then leave, forcing artificer to just continue swimming), and they dissolve. They don't become an echo, they just fade away in the waves the void. Its not so much the just void sea that does the ascension- its the worms within it too. In this aspect Saint is very similar to them- but forgoes the void. To make a bit of a joke, a worm off the string.
So going back to my first statement on Saint being a bad thing… I said I wasn't going into it but damn, I am, a lot of people seem to view the void ends as some sort of "Life sucks, and then you die" kinda thing. Life sucks, you fail over and over, its unfair and horrible and then you die. And in the context of Rain World you die, and then you wake back up in a new life and start it all over again. But people tend to interpret this so… pessimistically. When actually Rain World, even the base game, actually holds a lot of love for that cycle as something worth it. Survivor wakes up after a traumatic event and they fail over and over, they exist in a frustrating environment they have no control over and no real help for- but its through those failures that they (you) get better. You fail less, you learn, you understand. And even if things stay unfair eventually you get your bearings and you can face that uncertainty with more confidence, you grow and establish yourself- you can even start going outside your safety nets and still succeed. To quote the actual achievement for survivor- "This land has become your home". The fun of Rain World, the part that sticks with people- is when it finally clicks and they start to get it, when they get just a little bit better at understanding the world they live in, the creature they are, and can find the fun in a world that is scary and unfair but something you can overcome if you just keep trying.
And that's the beauty of a life- that despite that suffering you can still get back up again and do better. You can do worse. But you still get back up. In the wide scope of Rain World's reincarnation, you can fail so badly its lethal but still, ultimately, try again. The world around you is cruel and unfair but not impossible. There can be rain and blizzards so awful that most things can't survive them but some things can, and will. Life finds a way. Even ascension, the escape- is something you can only get after you've gotten good enough to make it there. You learn how the world works, make peace with it. And at the end, if you so choose, you can take this and complete your cycle via ascension.
Downpour spins this all very differently with its endings- instead opting to give the slugcats ways to indulge in their lives- to find their homes, their families, find friends… It very much indulges in the exact opposite of ascension- a reverence for life, overcoming the suffering in return for the good. Attachment to the world. In Artificers case, they can indulge in such simpleminded lust for revenge and violence that they can lock themselves at karma one. It begs the question- is giving this up something to be desired? Is an attachment to life good or bad? If you know there is a solution to simply cease existence, what does it mean to take that choice? The Echos says as much- The Ancients understood how the aspects of how their world works. They sought such, and some failed, others didn't. Some resent their failure. Others made peace with it. Some don't understand why it was ever something anyone wanted. The rest ceased to be.
And I guess that's where Saint comes in as something I have conflict over. With the void worms there's an aspect of choice to choosing to cross yourself out. Saint acts as a solution to the fact some creatures cant possibly even know there is a way out of life to seek. The struggle for survival is, of course, a struggle after all. Death is something creatures want to escape, but failing to do so just means returning to the escape again. But what does it mean to take that choice from something that doesn't even know it has it? Will Saint take that choice from things that know it, and wouldn't want it? The iterators want it, sought it, direct those who ask to it, but that was the purpose of their whole creation. They are satisfied with Saint's choice to do so, but if the Ancient in undergrowth were still around, what of them? They seemed to not want to seek such a thing at all, moved by some unknown pressure. The world teems with life still- a harsh blizzard, a burning desert, these are not lesser ecosystems than a forest or a city. The world is not barren, not empty, and when the Ancients' towers finally crumble away into unrecognizable scrap and dirt made of rust, life will continue to pull themselves from the dust.
Its sad, its solemn to think that one day everything here and everything there will become nothing recognizable. That any link between past and future may vanish so thoroughly that no lines can be drawn between them… but it is also kinda beautiful in a way. The stubbornness of it all.
Perhaps this is just a very long way of saying I would become an echo.
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vamp1r1cjuggalo · 7 months
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Pizzatober day 8! Evil!
Maxwell style Jumpscare
I decided not to do the pizza tower style today yippee
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eyedove · 7 months
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alright whats up fuckers get timelined.
you want your deep taagnus fankid lore, this might be the only spot ya get it for a while. also included: a little on lup's first kid, a LOT on taako having a bad time in general, some relationship details btwn taako and magnus past and present, casey character development to follow it up, and then a little bit on the twins. the, like, little twins, i mean. the ones that taako and magnus have.
warnings for taako’s general, like, everything: identity crisis, his issues socializing, loneliness, depression, gender dysphoria (weirdly enough, not pregnancy related), his experience with chronic pain, and later being diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder, which in itself is not a trigger warning but moreso his dealing with it is not particularly healthy and could be sort of self-harm-y in a way. and for magnus: his RSD is mentioned, his self-worth issues are alluded to, mentions of past self harm, he gets very emotional about family planning in regards to past relationships, his death is eventually mentioned but isn’t part of the timeline nor is it gone in depth on.
in general they’re also just… taako and magnus. they’re kind of shitty guys and kind of immature and kind of fucked up. they’re good to their kids, they’re just still, y’know. taako and magnus.
i can not stress enough, pregnancy and issues relating to this. difficulties conceiving and postpartum depression are IN. HERE. everything turns out and everyone involved is perfectly fine, it just takes some time to get there and it’s a rough road, but they ultimately end up doing it twice and they’re both pretty firmly in the camp of it being worth it.
anything else that needs to be mentioned please let me know holy shit and i’ll exercise my best judgment, cus i know some of it might be wild to read, but i want to get triggers down for the most part. stuff that’s not triggering, like… oops, sorry, but. it’s taagnus mpreg what do you WANT FROM ME. if i listed everything that people might not like it would just be another 6k words.
basics:
lup’s first kid, missy, is about 5 years older than casey, who was carried by taako, and is about 3½ years older than elodie, who’s a few minutes older than rian, both of which were carried by magnus.
tl;dr coming soon. and by tl;dr i mean a shorter version that’s been picked through and had all of the bullshit unnecessary garbage taken out. :)
timeline:
- after story & song magnus and taako do not talk for like a year. it’s rough. they correspond a little, magnus sends him funny good things he finds like fuckin. silly chainmail messages and pictures of stuff he thinks taako might like, but he’s trying his best not to overstep any boundaries. taako has not actually established these boundaries. magnus has just sort of assumed them. unfortunately, taako is not a guy who goes out of his way to go to magnus’ place of residence and yell at him.
- but he doesn’t keep it up forever. he does go fucking find magnus. and he does go yell at him. and magnus does kind of have a fit about it. but it’s fine. it’s taako, and he also knows that getting down here was probably. a hell of a lot. and he does appreciate it.
- they immediately click though. because of course they do. and a year and change is a long time for them to go without each other while also actively knowing that they’ve gone without each other. it’s weird. taako one minute is living in lup’s empty ass house because she’s at work and kravitz is at work and he hates everyone who has any time to spend with him, and then the next, he and magnus are picking out like. the color of the accent wall in the livingroom. what kind of flooring should be in the hallways. (magnus wants hardwood, taako refuses to go with anything except shag. carpeting.)
- it’s sort of nice! taako stays a homebody but he’s not completely disconnected. weirdly enough, he sees more of lup. and kravitz. and barry and merle and davenport and everyone. mostly because he doesn’t avoid outings as much. and because he starts going to parties. and goes fishing with davenport. and gets all of his and magnus’ weed from merle that he felt too fucking sick to sit home alone and smoke himself. magnus still has like, a business to run. and taako kind of does, too, sort of, even though he’s been really fucking that up recently and taking a huge backseat on accident.
- anyway, they settle. taako’s doing okay. magnus is doing okay. they had already decided years and years and years ago they weren’t gonna get married and EXTRA aren’t gonna now. magnus doesn’t want to get married again. taako hates it as a concept. it’s complicated. but they’re together. it’s semi-open. taako occasionally sleeps with other people. rarely. listen, he barely goes out, let alone fucks around, and magnus knows it.
- lup has missy like 2 yrs after taako moves out. which does mean that she got pregnant only like a year after he left (elven gestation w/ their slow ass metabolisms), which he’s a little peeved about, but whatever, he gets it. he’s happy for her. he’s not as absolutely gutted as he thought he’d be if it ever happened. is he numb? he can't tell.
- turns out he's… not? maybe? yes, taako being dissociated and numb usually results in being a little more blase about stuff than hed normally be, but he feels. in it. he has an attachment that he's used to having, because it's lup, and it feels almost natural again. almost? there is no way he's picking this feeling apart. they will remain complicated forever because a child is definitely not something that he has to confront (all lies he knows he knows better.)
- weird concept: so how about confront it?
- taako is weirded out by this Thing. lup’s proud of it, though, and magnus is immediately and irreparably damaged by holding this baby, taako can see it in his stupid face, the way he just fucking. grins. and tears up and holds this thing so gently. lup is looking at taako like do not let this guy squish my baby, i’ll kill you, and taako’s just thinking the whole time, yeah, i get it, but like. fucking look at him.
- anyway rightfully she doesn’t let magnus hold the thing for more than like ten minutes before she wants it back but it’s fine - they all relax, taako worries about something else for a change, gets his heart ripped out of his body still beating by this thing crying, everything’s good.
- and now he’s obsessed. partly just with missy, lup’s baby, because she’s hilarious and she’s cute, and she literally just keeps getting FUCKING cuter, but partly with the idea of. baby. like. he could have one of those. he’s got everything for it. like, a house, and a boyfriend, and… financial stability. emotional stability? yeah, man! like, he’s super getting there, isn’t he?!
- he and magnus talk one night. taakos literally sat on his chest over the top of him and starts asking him abt this fucking coffee table lup bought when she first moved into her house, and magnus is like oh yeah, i like that thing, it’s really cool, i kinda wanna make one just like it, but it feels like it’d be copying, at this point. and taako’s like holy shit EXACTLY. exactly correct. but what if we did anyway. just, like, in our own. way. y’know? it’d be different if we did it. we could handle it. we have space for it. if we both worked on it maybe we could like. take care of it. sides, it’d be nice to just. have more shit that has some of you. in it. that will last a long time. so i don’t have to like, go out and replace it later, and i… know that it’s from you, and everything, y’know.
- anyway they keep having this conversation. like, every day, taako brings this up. talks about hey, listen, i know that this is uncharacteristic. you gotta take me seriously here, though. i’m so serious. and magnus is like… serious about… buying a coffee table? and taako’s like NO. i mean maybe, if the conversation must go in that. direction. later, but we’re fucking. capable, are we not?? of doing it ourselves? or we should at least find out?
- eventually magnus asks him, hey, are we… talking about… the kind of coffee table. that you and me, have, uh, tried to make. before? and taako goes LOL, tried?! no. we’ve never had the time or resources to get it like, anywhere near a real project. pal, have we maybe accidentally started on it, and then had that shit totally made useless like every other bodily state ever over and over for ninety nine years? i genuinely dunno man, if we have, that’s between our respective guts, the coffee table, and god only. and magnus just goes ohh. so we are definitely talking about the same thing. okay. oh wow.
- they decide they want one! theyll fucking. build a damn. coffee table. okay.
- and so they start! and they work on it! and they fucking! try! they do eventually get to the point where they can say aloud that they’re trying for a baby. it takes an embarrassingly long time. they are not known for their healthy communication. but taako forces it out into the light eventually. he's okay with being silly about it on a basic level but listen, someone has to rein magnus in a little bit on that. a little. (magnus actually hadn't expected taako to go for it, calling what they're doing having kids, so it's a huge surprise and an extremely positive one, because as much as he's stalwart in the idea of honoring the concept, he also kinda gets it.)
- they don't tell people at first. this is entirely because they KNOW people will be weird about it. but the moment he needs someone to complain to he tells lup and then it quickly gets around elsewhere - which. fairly, most people are kind of skeptical. it’s taako. taako? child? lup, though, kinda knows. she still has early adulthood memories of conversations complaining about the world and guys devolving into if i ever have kids... and how early on taako did show interest. how it kind of became a thing he stopped talking about over the decades. she believes him. and her believing him makes it easier for everyone else to kind of fall into place about it.
- and taako has a few freakouts. a couple total meltdowns. but they got it. they get it, after almost two years. they get it down, and both of them flip their absolute FUCKING lids but taako way moreso than magnus was expecting in any way shape or form. yeah, it was taakos idea. yeah, its taako whos carrying, so hes probably way excited about it. he just didnt expect such an explosive reaction out of him. given that he's, y'know. taako.
- literally every problem taakos ever had becomes an issue. his bullshit tolerance is now: none. his energy level is now: none. his heat tolerance is now: none. his blood pressure is now: none. his ability to cook and feed himself is now: uhh, very little. which that second thing is not super abnormal, but the first one kinda sucks more than usual. this also peaks right in the middle of summer. hes convinced hes dying. (hes not. they absolutely make sure hes not.)
- he DOES like having a good excuse to make everyone else do everything for him. not a huge fan of the genuine doting, but having someone on call for a bucket any time any where is a power he didnt know he wanted. he doesnt use it genuinely very often, but magnus is GREAT at coming when called, and thats funny.
- they pointedly do not know the sex. it is partly performative. it is partly because taako is in the THICK of a gender crisis (had been before he got pregnant even, it hasn't gotten particularly worse, but it's still there) and if someone in his life found out and started prescribing shit even on accident or coincidentally based on the thing's genitalia he'd fucking lose his shit, so they just don't know, they're not gonna know, it's not a big deal, leave him alone.
- taakos naturally a toe walker. not abnormal for elves from the two sunned plane. their feet are just built for it. he manages to maintain this for a little while. he's always fluctuated in weight, he's fine - but his balance does indeed get so bad, even with his tail, that he has to start walking on his whole foot so he doesn't lean forward.
- this makes him like four inches shorter than usual. this makes him like five inches shorter than magnus. this makes him SHORTER THAN LUP. and he fucking. despises it. he's still taller than magnus BARELY when he has his ears straight up but this is all he has, and those ears rarely stand up for any long amount of time without extreme effort. they’re HEAVY.
- it does make magnus hugs nice though. magnus won't bearhug him + break his back anymore for the time being, which he misses, but he gets to stuff his face into magnus' chest. which he likes. hes starting to think MAYBE. maybe after he has this baby he MIGHT occasionally get down on his heels just so he can do this. SOMETIMES. but only around select people. there are only a handful of chests hes cool with being smothered in. magnus definitely tops this list.
- it fucking HURTS his HEELS. fuck his ankles or whatever, his heels!!!! he's not used to putting any weight on them. theyre bruised and blistery and he hates it. magnus will now be carrying him forever. (he says this but ends up being the most hermited motherfucker of all time, worse than taako's normal, which is not good, but whatever. people like to come over to HIS HOME and BOTHER HIM, so he doesnt need to go to functions he can't drink or smoke at anyway).
- he is, however, feeling really fucking good about how fucking AWESOME he is, currently. like, one, everyone had to admit that he’s taking things super super well, and two, he’s being SO open right now. he’s being so chill. he’s being communicative, he’s being honest. he’s not being NICE because that’s just not on the table for taako, but he’s kind of enjoying having a good excuse to be a little more snuggly. a little more needy. sometimes. when he’s not so pissed off he could scream.
- magnus is a fucking. wreck. hes good! hes doing good! but hes crying ALL the TIME. and its PISSING taako off slowly more and more. he knows its just because hes worried or overwhelmed or whatever. who cares. its annoying. he is nice though. maybe the nicest hes ever been to taako. there are a significant number of people who are being nice to him, actually, which is hilarious, and also extremely frustrating. LUP. even lup wont fuck with him in the same way. he has to keep pressing her buttons harder and harder to get her to react. HOWEVER: one person is still ready to pick on him.
- lup's 5 y/o daughter. is RELENTLESS. and honest to god one of the most stable and delightful things throughout the whole pregnancy. this kid has only the vaguest idea of what's going down, is extremely nice, but also compromises NO asks. if she wants him to make her breakfast she WILL cry about it. if she wants to play with his hair, she'll figure out how to do it, even if shes gotta ambush him. great tenacity on this girl.
- they have casey, their first kid, spring-ish? early spring. they have her at home. it sounds like a great idea at the time, and it turns out perfectly fine, but there is the ego barrier of describing to people the story of your firstborn child being PLANNED on being delivered by a lich and the grim reaper along with the boyfriend and then ending up getting stagefright. this is good, you might think, this means grubby corpsehands aren't on your newly born child! and you would be correct, instead it's just magnus, who is crying MORE than the baby and taako combined and it's FUCKING annoying, and lup's not even there to make it funnier. it's fine. it's like, bonding. and shit.
- shes small. smaller than taako would have thought and also would have hoped, and shes bald, and her ears are fucked up somehow, they dont have anything, like, in them to move them around or whatever it seems like, but maybe she'll grow into that. maybe that's fine. not a whole lot of info out there currently on babies who are half alien elf half alien human. so yknow. as long as she's eating and breathing and warm and clean they're pretty happy.
- taako can not let this thing go. magnus occasionally gets to hold her or feed her, but for her first nine/ten days, taako has her almost exclusively and wont put her down. he started sleeping later into his pregnancy because it required less effort than meditating (altho it takes more time), but hes back to it now, so he can keep this baby, who he has still not named btw!, in his arms and remain alert enough to sleep with her.
- two weeks. three weeks. she's FINALLY getting a little bigger. MAYBE taako can manage to have people over to see her in person instead of just showing photos. maybe. the amount of people that technically know about this kid's existence even is a ridiculously low number. the amount of people in the public that knew he was having a kid is most, since he made a statement about it, but the kid herself was never, like. announced. he just doesn't. want to share. at all.
- gets rough. gets really rough. having lup and missy over nearly kills him. he cant even let his TWIN SISTER hold his baby. what the fuck is wrong with him? what is wrong with their relationship? why does he feel like it somehow makes him a better parent when it does not? why has he lost all control of what emotional stability he had? he'd been worried he wouldn't be attached enough to her, that he'd fuckin, abandon her or whatever, and it's so nice that that fear was unwarranted that he doesn't want to confront that he's overcorrecting.
- missy gets to hold casey before lup does. and taako feels bad about it, kinda. BUT: she didn't technically hold the baby on her own, taako just held her while missy put her arms under her as well, but still. then lup. this was a few visits in. casey is still not technically named yet, but taako knows already. kinda.
- she gets her name by two months. it's not elven, like he and lup had, but it's got the same basic rules, which is a compromise he and magnus come up with. once she gets old enough, if she wants something else, she fuckin' names herself. if she wants something else for like. gender purposes, they'll deal with that when that comes up. for now she's casey. burnsides? maybe.
- she stays FUCKING BALD. taako can not get over it. he has hair. magnus is COVERED in it. why's she bald? why's she SO BALD?
- magnus is audhd and taako is autistic. they know that she's gonna probably not necessarily follow the average infant timeline. this turns out to be extremely true. she's very quiet. she makes noises, but even as she gets into multiple years of exposure, she doesn't speak common or elvish, except repeating certain phrases she's heard often (some of her favorites are calling magnus mean names and 'i don't want to', because the former makes her parents laugh and the latter makes uncomfortable situations resolve a lot of the times it's used).
- she also doesn't walk. ok, she kinda walks, she gets up on her feet and uses walls and objects to walk alongside them, or walks slowly with a leg to hold onto. she's very particular and delicate about her foot placement, but still ends up with her ankles out. magnus thinks she might be rolling them? but she seems okay? they get that checked out, though. definitely. make sure she's not in pain or anything. she ends up with some braces for her ankles and heel, but she's still more than a little pigeon toed.
- casey is a shy little thing. very observant. she likes watching people do things. literally anything. she will sit and watch taako cook, she likes to watch the aquarium, she likes to watch people write and draw and cast spells, she likes making other people play with her toys so she can watch. she sleeps with taako and magnus more often than not, either being held by taako while he meditates or lying between them on the mattress once she gets a little older.
- missy ADORES her. missy is a little upset that she doesn't like dressing up and having her hair played with, but she loves casey's dark red hair, thinks shes super cute, loves her floppy ears, just adores her. this is, to her, her baby sister, and taako and lup do nothing to dissuade that. basically are sisters, right? who cares. they live right next to each other, and see each other almost every day, since taako does a lot of watching them during the day now, which… admittedly, he's still working on, but he's got like 8 years of experience by now, three of those with his own baby, so he's. like, getting it. he's understanding it.
- this is around the time taako starts hiring out losers to watch the children (or child, sometimes just casey). ie he makes angus do it when possible, or alum he's still pals with from some of the first years of the school's establishing, or other family friends who are around. merle's off limits. as is she who shall not be MENTIONED in his household.
- with a tiny bit of time alone magnus and taako find out that … they want another kid. taako brings it up. another baby. oops. 
- again, taako brings it up, but magnus is fully on board. except… hold on not really: shit was ridiculously rough on taako specifically, and he’s really, really not excited to have taako go thru it again. which is fair. definitely in the top 100 shitty wild things that have happened to taako, if only for the relative novelty of it and how much it sticks in his memory (haw-haw), but like. he wouldn’t say it if he wasn’t willing to do it one more time. like, just once. he’s got it in the bag now, he knows what’s up. plus, he would not at all mind having like. a year off. of just being sick and hanging out with casey and missy. magnus is skeptical. their decision is easier this time, though, even with everything considered.
- they talk about it briefly but they’re pretty into the idea of magnus carrying, maybe. if they can get it to work. they had some fuckin issues last time, so, like. what if they start trying (stressful but cool), see if it sticks (lower amount of stress, more casual) and if it does that’s cool, and if it doesn’t, oops, must be something that’s not gonna happen? magnus is an older guy at this point, which was factored in but ultimately didn’t keep them from giving it a shot. once again they start trying without actually telling. anybody. except each other. mostly because it’s not set in stone.
- funnily enough? performing in this way specifically gives taako weird dysphoria. there’s also a little scene in which magnus, who’s been out as nonbinary for like, 15 years at this point, talks about how he’s totally cool with carrying a child, doesn’t bother him, he’s nonbinary, NOT that it’d be weird if a man did it, because you did it taako and that was fine, and that also makes taako squirm a little. he’s working on it. he’s spent so fucking long getting that like, femme in a masculine way thing down, why’s it bothering him now?? ugh.
- luckily, doesn’t take a whole lot of trying. unluckily, taako is a little annoyed that magnus gets pregnant so easily. whatever. he still gets his baby out of it. (yeah, casey is his baby, this baby is their baby, since he can’t claim it all himself, but it’s still definitely partly his, duh. casey is just his though.)
- angus starts doing babysitting stuff for casey. taako ALSO ends up getting his GODDAMN… joints checked out. fine. whatever. for casey, because she’s having issues with her joints too, obviously, and he can talk about how he feels slightly more than his mostly nonverbal toddler. he’s forced himself to be verbal over the fucking. centuries. so he gets it. he can handle maybe informing whatever genetic thing she’s fucking got, cus he’s kind of always known that lup doesn’t have nearly the same difficulty he does with chronic pain. so this is on him. this is on him now.
- taako gets himself a nonspecific hypermobility disorder diagnosis. so, like, sweet, i fuckin guess, he’s gone like 300 years without it. also, they don’t even have an actual name for it. thanks. feels awesome. after years and years of forcing it down, he’s forced to actually pay attention to the pain and it Fucking Sucks. not a project he thought he’d be starting on while magnus was pregnant, but whatever. it’s fine. life is FINE.
- magnus is actually faring really well. which is also jealousy-inducing in taako. anyway, magnus is sort of miserable about how low energy he is, suddenly, though, but that’s about the most of it, since his brain doesn’t slow down to match the pace of his body. not in the traditional sense, anyway. taako does not understand what he means by this because to him magnus is still bouncing off the walls. he is, however, a great source of humor at the time (as he fucking ALWAYS is, taako always finds him ridiculously stupidly too fucking funny for him to even be REAL, ugh).
- double appointment day. taako sends casey off with angus, and they’re gonna do… whatever they do. he’s given angus some free rein on what he does with the baby. he kinda trusts angus’ instinct. a little more than he did when casey was an infant, anyway. this is a decision he will eventually regret, because while he is getting the shit annoyed out of him by being quizzed on his pain and fitted for digitigrade AFOs he doesn’t want to use (the other braces recommended arent as bad since his like, fingers aren’t so different from most people’s, it’s just just feet and legs that need extra special shit) and then getting slammed with the major whammy of the fact that up until now magnus has been RIGHT: they’ve been missing a TWIN at past appts, and twins are now for sure confirmed. plus, angus is doing unspeakable things, ie he has been introducing casey to lucretia even though taako has said this should not be done at all. today, lucretia makes the mistake of seeing if taako has been teaching her elven sign language.
- magnus is beyond stoked, taako is torn between being excited and being extremely, outrageously jealous because if one of them was going to have twins, it should have been him, goddammit. but whatever. they tell the relevant parties: ie again it stays mostly under wraps except to really close family.
- casey continues seeing lucretia. it’s not a SECRET, it’s just not being said out loud to taako, exactly, is angus’ reasoning here. they both know that it’s going to get out eventually - and it happens sooner rather than later, for sure. what ends up breaking it wide open is one night taako is watching casey and she makes a motion at him that he’s absolutely certain at first is a sign, but it’s just mixed in with a bunch of other hand waving and other movements she’s prone to doing. so it can’t be. plus, he hasn’t been teaching her elven sign. nobody has, have they? So after she goes to bed, taako stands in front of magnus and makes the same series of movements - nonsense and all, and gets confirmation from magnus that it looks a lot like sign language, but magnus denies teaching it to her.
- lup also denies teaching it to her. lup and taako haven’t used it in tens of years, and when they aren’t using it, there isn’t a reason for the other birds to use it, given that it was mostly used for taako to communicate. plus, very few people on faerun use it, given that it’s a language that doesn’t even originate on the goddamn plane. she’s not learning it from angus, probably. probably? FUCK.
- taako confronts angus about it and he immediately folds and tells taako everything on lucretia’s behalf, because he knows it’s going to get rough if they have to be in the same room together. taako is. devastated. and angry. but angus explains to him that he’s always there, he makes a super good middle man, casey LOVES lucretia, they get along really well, she hasn’t been telling casey anything controversial. casey isn’t even old enough to like, get lucretia’s life story. she’s not getting lucretia propaganda, taako. but she has been um, maybe, using elven sign language, because they thought maybe you’d been trying that, too, because she hasn’t been verbal. Taako confirms he has NOT been, he hasn’t used it since cycle 99 started, because he had it fucking TAKEN from him, is the thing.
- but magnus also starts using it again. starts speaking in ESL to casey. taako gets mad about it, but he can’t deny that it’s much more comfortable for him most of the time, and that he can use his limited energy being more expressive bodily when he doesn’t have to curate his voice specifically like he does when talking aloud. magnus is into it! and he makes sure to tell taako this. taako starts using ESL more. a little. to see if casey will pick it up.
- casey does pick it up. casey picks it up much easier than common or elvish. she has some coordination issues in her hands like taako does, exacerbated by her being like four, but she can communicate a little better and it’s. weird. it’s weird. taako is weirded out by it. but everyone else in the house just keeps - even lup gets in on it, so…
- he gets to talk to casey more. it’s so sweet. she’s an asshole and he loves it. she is a lot like taako in so many ways. it is a weird thing to witness. she’s not exceedingly social. she’s kind of . aloof. which is something he knows he’s been accused of, but he didn’t really get it until he saw literally his fuckin. weird self reflected back at him. he realizes pretty quick that she’s definitely a person. she’s fairly independent and at this stage ENJOYS sleeping in her own bed. she likes the routine of brushing her teeth before bed. she hates socks (so does taako), she loves bugs, but she’s scared of dogs. she likes magnus’ woodwork, but doesn’t like powertools, and has next to no interest in magic, but she does like watching taako cook - she also has strong opinions about food, which taako is a little frustrated about at first, but soon finds is fun to work around. he likes flexing his cooking creativity for the first time in years.
- taako fucking. eventually uses his braces, but only because he wants casey to also use them. she has such a hard time walking and he absolutely hates the idea of her being in any amount of pain, much less pain comparable to what he went through as a kid before he made himself deal with it quietly. neither taako nor casey are big on the sensory input these things provide, but they get through it together. they are just kind of on the same wavelength when it comes to sensory overload - so even if taako doesn’t realize it, given that he’s had hundreds of years to perfect masking even to himself, once casey’s had about enough of it, taako can pretty reliably tell that it’s probably time for him to give himself a break, too, if he can manage it. she’s helping him out a lot, even if she doesn’t exactly know it.
- that winter is when elodie and rian are born, in that order. not at home this time, which magnus is a little indignant about because he’s the tough guy here, but ultimately there’s not a whole lot of fight about it. this is partly because magnus burnsides is a bird, and gets whatever he wants, and if he wants a parade of like 20 goddamn people present, nobody, not even a medical professional, has the power to stop him. this time, names were picked out beforehand, mostly because magnus was DEAD SET on not waiting until they were multiple months old. they get these names assigned to them in the same way casey did - as child names, if they want to change them, or permanent if they don’t, or whatever the hell they want to do. magnus takes immediately to calling them duckie and goose, respectively, because he knows that everyone will back him up if taako tries to tell him he can’t call his newly born children what he wants to call them as nicknames. (they do fight about it. everybody is, indeed, on magnus’ side, if only because they’re tired of the naming scheme taako is perpetuating, here.)
- he has also been calling casey bunny for a few years at this point because of her floppy ears (taako wouldn’t let him get away with ‘dumbo’ any longer), so it fits the theme. (he later gets a duckling, a gosling, and a bunny tattooed on him. they can change their names all they want, but their childhood nicknames are his forever now!)
- magnus, uh, DOES have a little stint of oh god what have i done. turns out that weirdly enough, having taako baby him a little bit makes him feel better. having taako be kind and surprisingly understanding about his feelings is weird and puts him on edge at first, but really, taako was like this when he was pregnant, too, where he’s a little more open and a little more emotionally available, so it’s not super surprising in a way that makes it impossible to believe that taako’s actually willing to give him space to grieve and think and worry and wonder.
- elodie and rian are also digitigrade, but their ears are more solid. not quite as mobile as taako’s, but they have some muscle in them instead of casey’s little floppy thing she has going on. they’re cute and all, but the biggest thing taako can’t get over is the fact that they are both born with hair. istus just keeps fucking kicking him while he’s down. magnus doesn’t even worship her, what the fuck.
- they’re both VERY LOUD. casey wasn’t a crier, the twins are. they’re loud, they’re rowdy, they’re babies. they’re, like, real babies, and not little weird creatures like casey. casey is a bug, not a baby, elodie and rian are infants. taako has already set a precedent of being a nighttime caretaker, given that magnus needs 8 hrs of sleep/night and he needs 4 hrs of meditation. so this continues, for the most part.
- yes, they have two infants. they also have a little girl who is now getting finally also fitted for orthotics which is cool. she’s also learning ESL. magnus, taako, lucretia, and lup all know it. basically everyone in her life knows sign language. magnus is a little rusty, but he’s taking like. ‘lessons’ from taako. this is also being taught in moderation to the twins, but the twins have their own shit going on between each other. taako gets to watch these things develop twin language WITHOUT HIM. it’s fine.
- lucretia becomes a slightly more… common… occurrence. he sees her at parties and gatherings now - they start being invited to the same things. they’re not involved with each other closely, but they’re adjacent. they talk SOMETIMES. if there’s a buffer between them. mostly at these gatherings, and only when taako’s sober. the moment he’s imbibed anything magnus physically gets between them. it becomes missy and casey’s jobs to watch the twins and magnus’ to watch taako to make sure he doesn’t say or do anything too fucked up.
- elodie is a huge casey fan. loves casey to death, but they have the sibling dynamic going on where casey is so focused on being fully enamored with an looking up to missy that she sort of ignores elodie, and elodie is so focused on casey that she ignores missy, who just wants everyone to be friends together so bad.
- the twins are definitely a step up in complicated parenting. casey was a good first step. somehow? got what is the beginner-friendliest baby. some fucking how. these guys, though. elodie is a very curious kid, a very energetic kid, a very intense kid. playful, extroverted. chatty even when she doesn’t have like. language down yet. rian less so. rian’s more like casey in this regard. less chatty. needs a lot of quiet time.
- magnus used to have a stim where he would ball up his fist and slam it into his chest or shoulder, which definitely, definitely was not good for him, given that he eventually got very strong and was giving himself some pretty gnarly bruises and lacerations with it. he also used to (still does, but slightly less) deal with really bad RSD. it kind of fucks him up watching rian go through the same things. taako is just kind of like “yeah, dude, the dark mirror, we’ve all been peering into it” and magnus is like wow. huh. this is wild. i’m sorry, little guy.
- rian ends up sharing a room with casey once he’s old enough (not permanently, but it’s an option for him). he does better in a quiet environment and elodie is not super conducive to this, but casey is, with her also preferring no loud or repetitive sounds. she also relies more heavily on ESL than the other kids, which rian uses with her quite often while he feels more pressured into speaking verbally to others.
- by this time magnus has made casey what he calls her rabbit hutch - basically, as a toddler, she always ended up like, under her bed, or in her closet, or what have you to sleep. taako’s solution to this was ‘oh baby come sleep in my bed then’, but she didn’t want this, so magnus makes her a little doghouse style thing. A canopied bed, but with solid walls and a weighted base, and a tighter space inside. it doesn’t last her into her teens, but she does use it a lot as a little kid. it’s like a permanent blanket fort. taako’s embarrassed that his daughter lives in a fucking dog house his boyfriend made, but she loves it - and eventually starts letting rian in there, too.
- elodie also likes going in there but 3 kids can’t fit at once, and also she gets bored really fast so most of the time it’s casey and rian time only. and they just sit silently in there.
- listen i have a ton of twin lore in my brain but it’s very difficult to put down in a concise way. i’ll get it out. some day. til then have basics. elodie is a big girl, she’s a tough little girl, she likes being able to help out her mama. (even taako is not allowed to call magnus this. elodie and rian, however, are. for taako is it papa strictly. papa bear will also be tolerated. encouraged.) she loves AXES. she wants one so bad. she’s like six and it’s all she wants for every gift-giving event ever is a REAL AXE. taako and elodie absolutely have a Real Sword type conversation. elodie thinks it’s hilarious, but also kind of frustrating because no, dad, she really does actually want a real axe.
- elodie ALSO isn’t really a dog person. they’re okay! she likes them! she’s just not like, dog obsessed. despite magnus’ best efforts, she does not develop canine special interest, which he’s a little sad about, but it’s okay, because he does eventually get it with rian, thankfully. SOMEONE fucking likes dogs in this goddamn household.
- elodie does however LOVE their cats. she’s neutral on the fish and shrimp (did i mention they have a huge saltwater tank. they do. taako raises shramps). she wants a goat. she’s not the pony kid, that’s rian.
- rian is fucking obsessed with animals in general. he loves casey’s stuffed animals. he loves garyl. he loves dogs, especially the big rough guys, mostly because they can handle some roughhousing. he and magnus wrestle, which magnus loves, and they do a lot of work with the dogs, which is GREAT, because by the time rian is 8 or 9 magnus really, really just wants to get back to working regularly, doing dog training and stuff, and he loves having angus and rian around to help.
- OKAY ALL I REALLY KNOW BEYOND THIS IS THAT casey gets really into rollerskating. she likes drawing, but doesn’t stick with it. she likes roleplaying games. taako and lucretia are keyword kinda reintroduced to each other’s lives after a LOT of strife and a lot of fuckups. casey lives with taako for quite a while. idk about the twins yet, but i know that casey is not really ready to go do her own thing for quite a while, and even after she does move out, she’s always got her dad on speed dial, and out of everyone in the universe once magnus is gone, she is one of the only people he will ALWAYS pick up the phone for. every single time, doesn’t matter what he’s doing.
ta da there’s more, obviously, but like. this is where i’m at. currently. with my fucking. six million words (realistically more like 40-50k, it’s hard to compile when it’s spread out across many text docs and google docs and shit.)
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