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solasan · 9 months

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3, 6, 8, and 19 for Callista and/or Alarice? 👀👀👀

ask me questions abt my ocs <3

— CALLISTA:

3. what is your OC's fatal flaw? are they aware of this flaw?

her kindness lol. which i think is also her greatest virtue tbh?? but she sees the best in people even when that best isn't there, if that makes sense. she holds everyone around her to the moral standard she holds herself to, which means that she kind of expects everyone around her to be a lot better than they actually are? astarion nearly kills her the first time he feeds, for reference. she becomes less naive over the course of the game, but she'd always rather be taken advantage of (which happens multiple times) than think badly of someone / not help someone who seems to need it. she's not rly aware of this flaw in the beginning — she's spent her whole life as an acolyte in the house of the moonmaiden, where this kind of kindness is exemplified as What's Expected, and she's not been outside enough to rly know what's realistic in the world — but she becomes more aware of it as the game progresses, i think? shadowheart despairs of her.

but i'm still not sure that she'd consider it A Flaw even when she recognises that people take advantage of her; i think she more views it as a virtue, and if someone's going to fuck her over, that's on them?

6. how easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

not easily at all. astarion hates her for being so naive bc she just flat-out refuses to do things she's not comfortable with, morally. u could probably get her to turn against her morals by threatening someone she loved — and i mean someone she really loved — but even then, she'd be a tough nut to crack. she's very classic lawful good in that way i think.

8. would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

oof. i'm not sure tbh. morally, definitely not; the guilt would haunt her forever (even pushing minthara into the pit in her office, which is probably the most physically removed kill she's done, messes with her head). but i do think she's smart enough to dispose of a body if she wanted to; the issue is more that i think her guilt would compel her to confess? i don't think she'd make a great effort to try getting away with it; she'd feel as though she should be punished.

19. how does your OC behave when enraged?

she's not loud when she gets angry; she doesn't explode or start screaming. instead she gets very very quiet. quite stiff, too; her whole body seems to almost vibrate with anger but her movements become quite economic, she moves with purpose. her voice gets very cold and hushed, almost difficult to hear, and she snaps out every syllable like a crack of ice. she doesn't get violent bc tbh she's not a violent person in general. but she might give u the silent treatment if she's rly angry, just bc she doesn't want to say something she'll regret. when she's been pissed off in camp — usually astarion's fault lol but sometimes it's been shadowheart, especially in the early days — she tends to just go off to a quiet place on her own so she can calm down. queen of breathing techniques.

— ALARICE:

3. what is your OC's fatal flaw? are they aware of this flaw?

god what part of alarice's personality ISN'T a flaw???? uhh i guess, inversely to callista, her selfishness? or maybe her greed? hm yeah ok i think greed trumps selfishness, if only bc it leads to her doing some pretty fucking stupid and life-threatening shit — turning on allies for material gain, making a deal with raphael only to almost immediately break into his house to undo it, racking up extortionate gambling debts with dangerous people, risking her life in jobs she shouldn't even be taking, etc. greed has also led her to sabotaging a lot of relationships in her life, so generally, her greed has messed her up in more ways than it's helped her.

i think she's always been somewhat aware of it, but it becomes more clear to her as the game's events progress. astarion expecting her to just kind of hand him over to araj oblodra in exchange for a potion (powerful or not) makes her take a step back and look at herself, for one thing. and i think that her and karlach have a Conversation after getting the soul coins from lann tarv in moonrise, if only bc alarice doesn't really? flinch at any of the stories? (save the last one about the kid) and that unnerves karlach.

coming face-to-face with nine-fingers is also another one; nine-fingers was kind of like a mother to her for a little while, so seeing how thoroughly that relationship has been soured by her own selfish & greedy choices rly rly makes her hate herself, so she resolves to change from kind of? late act 2 to early act 3? it's tough, though; her impulses will always be baser and more selfish, and she has to work hard to resist them.

6. how easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

this is a tough question to answer, bc my first instinct is to say "very easily", but alarice... doesn't?? really have?? a moral compass? she has certain no-nos (no mass-murder, no rape/coercion bc of her background, no hurting kids for other background reasons, etc) but she would sell her soul to satan for one corn chip, it is a MIRACLE she hasn't become a warlock. i suppose i'll take it as how easily would she cross those aforementioned lines, and tbh i think she'd do anything for enough money (in act 1 and early act 2), even if it made her feel pretty gross about herself / she had to do some serious mental gymnastics to justify it to herself, so yeah, not super difficult. but as the game progresses those lines become a lot more cemented, particularly as she begins to make genuine connections with the party and their own morals begin to rub off on her a bit, so then it becomes pretty hard to push her past her limits. god, her and astarion are a nightmare couple.

8. would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

answered here!!!

19. how does your OC behave when enraged?

she surprisingly doesn't blow up immediately, even if her personality seems like she would. she's actually very good at just kind of... grinning and bearing it, so she can smile through her anger and even be pretty convincing if you don't know her well. if u do know her well, she has certain tells — her smile can get a little manic and her eyes go kind of cold — but until she's out of the situation that's making her angry, her survival instinct has her hiding it. once she is out, though, she'll go full on apeshit and maybe get a bit violent, depending on who/what she's angry about. where callista runs cold, alarice runs hot, basically.

#tbh callista DESERVES to go apeshit at this point #she's so controlled tho she kinda doesn't... know how?? to let go???#anyway TYSM AMBER MWAH <333333 #ch: callista lomarel #ch: alarice silversong #answered #bg3 spoilers /

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maaarshieee · 2 years

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U know how todoroki is popular in ua?

What about chubby reader who has a crush on him, but thinks that she doesn’t have any change bc what she looks like?

I just think shoto wouldn’t even understand that some people care about how they look. He would just be like ”why wouldn’t i like you..?” SO CUTE😭

➢ Sʜᴏᴛᴏ Tᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ x F!Rᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

➢ 3,186 Wᴏʀᴅs

➢ Hᴜʀᴛ/ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ

➢ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

There were so many words that he could describe you with on top of his head, so he doesn't understand why would you assume he won't like you.

➵ Sᴛᴜɴɴɪɴɢ

cw: self deprecation, traumatic references, social anxiety references ⚠ just so you know, readers, you're beautiful no matter what you look! this is straight from my own insecurities and experiences!

No matter how much you reason with yourself, you can't help but feel everyone is looking at you, judging your every movement, and whispering behind your back.

You know that's not true, after all, Class 1-A has one of the nicest students you've ever met. The girls were nothing but accepting, and even Kaminari was shamelessly hitting on you from time to time. But insecurities won't just fade away just because you had a sudden change of environment, the damage has been done and the wound has been open ever since you could remember.

Your 'friends' always made jokes about your appearance and weight, which you'd always brush off with a laugh. They're just joking, right? No need to overreact. The last time you did, you ruined the mood, so you learned to keep your mouth shut and suck it up. No boy has even thought of giving any sort of interest towards you and chose prettier, slimmer girls.

You felt so ashamed of your body that you can't even stand being outside for too long. The suffocating, heavy pressure in your chest makes it hard to breathe as you always try to walk home as fast as you could. You always had your head down, trying to hide your round cheeks with your hands, or with the hood of your jacket. You always had your arms crossed to hide your big chest or your stomach. Even then, you still feel eyes on you. It's sickening.

So why do you even think you had a chance with Shoto Todoroki?

The thought of it makes you want to laugh at yourself. You've had crushes before, but the difference between those crushes and Shoto? Well, maybe you're foolish enough to actually fall in love. You weren't sure if that was the case, but these feelings were much stronger than what you previously had with other boys.

It merely started as a distant admiration.

Silently staring at him in awe, adoring his heterochromia eyes, his scar, the shape of his face, his hair, his quirk, and much more. It was as simple as that, an infatuation with the cold, quiet, and mysterious boy. I mean, who wouldn't? Girls like you would probably be drooling at his handsomeness. It made you feel silly about how basic you are. You really hoped it was just infatuation because that would be easier to deal with.

Now, why would you fall in love with Shoto in the first place? Well, it all pretty much happened after the Sports Festival. The boy grew more sociable, thanks to Midoriya. He tries to talk, but he was still awfully closed off. So you weren't sure why you were an exception. The day when you decided to beat Midoriya on inviting Shoto to your shared table was when Shoto decided to become close to you. Why? You had no idea.

Besides Midoriya, he often talked to you, maybe even more than anyone else. You'd invite him outside once and a while, and he'd surprisingly agree, showing up rather than leaving you in the dust. Which really made your heart want to explode. He's the first crush you had that interacted with you, and your emotions were a huge mess. You watched him grow, slowly getting used to conversations and often helping him with things he doesn't understand. The poor boy has 0 social skills, and you're more than happy to help him.

Which led to you falling stupidly hard for him. How? Shoto, underneath his aloof personality, was very kind. He offered to help with your homework, and to study with him, even with his struggle with socializing, he was being such a gentleman subconsciously to you, and overall someone nice to be with. He listened to your rambles without complaints and learned how to help you with your anxious habits.

In a crowded area, he always puts a hand on your shoulder and leads you somewhere more secluded. When you're delving deep inside your dark thoughts, he won't hesitate to call your name and rub your back to comfort you. The first time he did all this made you even more panicked, and his efforts in trying to be nicer to you backfired badly. It honestly makes your stomach do flips whenever he does something like this, it driving you insane. When you asked him when did he even learn all this, he gave you a straightforward answer.

"I asked Midoriya."

Eh, why?

"Because I notice you act not like yourself sometimes, and it's always in specific places. Midoriya has known you for a while, so I asked him. He told me you get anxious."

You blinked, astonished. Heat rose from your neck and onto your cheeks, growing hotter the more he spoke. Is... Is that so?

"I don't really understand why, Midoriya said it was a private matter to you, but I still wanted to help you in any way possible, so I asked for his advice as well."

You couldn't sleep that night. So many questions ran through your mind, trying to find a reason why he would go that far for you. You didn't want to jump to conclusions, but maybe he likes you too...? You wanted to slap yourself at that thought, face up in flames as you rolled onto your stomach, face planted on your pillow as it muffled your screams whilst you kicked your legs on your bed.

It's impossible for him to like you, not when you look like this. Maybe he just wanted to be friends with you, and maybe you're one of the easiest ones to befriend with! Yeah, that's only the possible reason why he's been so kind to you.

One thing you're sure of though, is that you're head over heels for him. You were so sure of it, and the fact that you've never experienced such a thing terrifies you. Gently, you began to hit your head. "Stupid stupid..." You muttered, rubbing your nose as you sniffled. "Why now...? Why him..?"

Did Shoto do something wrong?

Ever since he admitted to asking Midoriya how to help you in ways he could, you've been spending less time with him and more keen on hanging out with the girls. He's not against it, he's happy that you're trying to connect with the girls in your class, but the fact that you haven't spoken to him the whole day, or avoided eye contact with him bothered him a lot.

Was it the wrong thing to say? He wondered, a frown tugging on his lips. It was difficult to focus on his classes the whole day as he tried to think of why you were distancing yourself from him. You didn't entirely ignore him though, much to his relief. You gave him a smile here and there, but it wavered and he could see you picking on your nails, as much as you tried to hide it. Anxious. You're anxious around him. He could see it in the way you act, respond to him, and in your eyes.

The whole class noticed it. Usually, the two of you were always together, chatting, studying, or snacking. It deeply worried them that something happened between the two friends.

He asked Midoriya, Iida, Ochako, and Asui, but all of them were unaware. Midoriya was a friend of yours since childhood, yet he doesn't know why you're only avoiding Shoto. One thing he was sure of is that it probably wasn't Shoto that was bothering you, perhaps it was something more personal.

It was the most logical reason, based on how much Midoriya knows you. He trusts him. Shoto couldn't think of anything that he could've done that would upset you, neither can Midoriya since whenever you have a problem, you'd talk about it.

He deeply respects your decision to keep your problems to yourself, since he does it as well, but why did you have to avoid him? It wasn't a great feeling at all. It was like his heart was being squeezed into smithereens.

As much as he wants to respect your privacy, he can't stand being avoided by you. To be treated like a stranger after all the fun memories you've shared, all the laughs, pointless conversations, worries, and pains... He can't let it all disappear just like that. Shoto won't allow you to sever the connection you've built with each other unless you tell him why.

"L/n,"

He called for you just as you were about to go your usual route back to your home. You stopped in your tracks furrowing your brows as you turned your head at the source of the sound. Your made felt dry when you realized who it was, letting out a small squeak. You turned your head, your back facing him, focusing on the road instead. "Y-yes?" You managed, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Shoto felt his hands shake, unsure whether to press on. It was clear you're very uncomfortable with what's happening right now, eager to go home. Shoto didn't like that at all, a heavy feeling settling on his shoulders as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He wondered if the anxiety you felt was much worse.

He steeled himself, walking in front of you and forcing you to face him, and yet you simply just stared at your shoes, biting your lower lip. "Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, straightforward as always. You bit your bottom lip harder, the pain distracting you enough to ignore Shoto's question, kicking your feet on the ground.

Shoto gulped, his expression growing much more solemn, shoulders drooping. He could practically hear his heartbeat in his ears as he clenched his hands into fists. Maybe he did hurt you somehow.

"Did..." His voice cracked, averting his gaze from you. That caught your attention, glancing up at him. "Did I do something wrong...?" His eyes fell onto you once more, watching your dismissive expression morph into horror.

Wahhh! You didn't expect that at all! This is all my fault, if only I could've just played it cool! You internally berated yourself, waving your hands nervously in front of you, a habit you picked up from your green-haired friend. "W-what!? No!" You sputtered out, shaking your head. "You never did a-anything wrong to me!"

Shoto perked up at that, letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. He was so relieved. He felt the crushing weight on his shoulders had been lifted, and his heart finally calmed down. So it wasn't him that was bothering you? He grew more concerned for you, taking a step forward. "Then why are you avoiding me?"

You felt your face turn red, the sudden heat making sweat form on your forehead as your buried your face into your hands. No no no!! You didn't want to tell him so soon, what excuse are you able to give him? Anything that popped in your mind didn't make sense at all. You wanted to scream, the heat rising even more when you heard Shoto take another step towards you.

You stepped back, shaking your head vigorously as you struggled to speak to him. "I-it's not you- I'm the p-problem... I'm so s-sorry for avoiding you, T-Todoroki-kun!!" You bowed to him, sliding your hands off your face and clutching the fabric of your uniform instead. "It's nothing of your worries...."

"Y/n," Shoto called out your name once more, but his voice was more gentle than before. He got closer to you, hesitating, but ultimately decided to put a comforting hand on your shoulder. You flinched, but you thankfully didn't pull away. "You can tell me... I may not be the most reliable person, but as your friend, I want to help you." Those words left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. It was the truth, he wanted to help you, yet being 'friends' seemed like an idea he disliked. Did he want something more?

You didn't know what came over you. Maybe your overflowing glass of emotions was at its point where it's bound to break and spill the water everywhere. You sniffled, tears gathering in your eyes as you mentally prepared yourself. You weren't going to confess anytime soon, you opted to just force yourself to forget about these bothersome feelings towards him, but fate wanted to toy with you a bit more.

You took in a deep breath, clutching the fabric of your uniform. "I like you..." You finally relented, hugging yourself and avoiding his gaze. Tears emerged in your eyes as you shakily breathed in and out. Shoto hesitated, unsure if that was all.

"I... Like you too?" He said, uncertain about what he should say. "I thought that should be a given since we're friends." You had to stop yourself from bursting out in laughter, lips quivering as your shoulders slightly shook. A tear slipped as you let out a small snort. Now, Shoto was at a loss on what to say.

"N-no, Shoto..." You gulped, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck. Maybe you should've taught him how to recognize romantic feelings... "I like you... More than a friend..."

"...Best friend?" He tilted his head to the side. You wanted to explode there and then.

"N-no!" You yelled, beginning to feel exasperated. "More than that!" You hoped that he'd finally realize what you're talking about, hugging yourself tighter.

Shoto was silent for a moment, thinking. Realization hit him, remembering what you said about relationships. More than friends... That means... "Oh." That was all he said.

Your soul left your body. Unbelievable!! You're here, crying your heart out right in front of him, confessing your love to him and that's all he says!? You wanted to scream.

"If you like me, why were you avoiding me then?" He suddenly asked, brows furrowed in confusion. Your eye twitched at the fact he just skimmed at your confession, but it was to be expected... It was understandable for him to ask this question though. After all, if you like someone, you'd want to get closer, right?

"Because I know I don't have a chance..." You admitted, sighing deeply as you returned to hugging yourself, looking down. You just wanted to curl up into a ball and cry even more. "You won't like me when there are girls like Yaomomo..." She's prettier, slimmer, smarter, and richer than me! You dared not to add that...

Shoto went closer to you, now arms-length away. He took out his handkerchief from his pocket, wiping your tears away with delicate hands. Your breath hitched, heat rising back to your cheeks as you made eye contact once again.

"Why wouldn't I like you?" He said, staring at you with such fondness. You blinked at him, dumbfounded.

"H-huh?"

"Why wouldn't I like you?" He repeated, "You're absolutely stunning." You froze, staring back at him with wide eyes filled with disbelief. Eh? Your mouth felt dry. Eh? EH!? This can't be happening. This. Cannot. Be. Happening. Shoto, bless his heart, didn't sense your inner turmoil and instead, took your silence as a sign to continue.

"I mean... What's there not to like about you?" He admitted a faint color of pink dusted his cheeks, his turn to be flustered. "I thought you were pretty," Shoto added as he ran his fingertips down your tear-stained cheek, then gently cupped it. "And I still do. I'm glad that you... reciprocate these feelings..." Your heart stuttered at how gentle he's being with you, voice soft. He continued to wipe that continuously poured down your cheeks without complaints as he awaited your response.

You knew he was straightforward, but this was all too much to handle. You wanted to melt into the tenderness and warmth of his hands, but you couldn't, your doubts eating you up. Is this boy blind!?

"A-are you sure?" You blurted out, your hand finding itself onto his', cradling his hand as you leaned against his touch, your voice shaky. "You're rather observant, Todoroki-kun... You know I don't look as good as other girls..." You gulped, one hand gripping your blazer so hard that your knuckles turned white. "I'm big, a-and just... Unappealing."

Your words went from one ear to another, more bothered at the fact you didn't use his given name. He let out a small huff, the hand cupping your cheek trailing down to your shoulders and onto your waist, pulling you into his arms. You let out a surprised yelp, not used to his sudden boldness.

"What are you talking about?" He queried, wrapping his arms around you, placing his chin on top of your head comfortably. "I like you just the way you are, Y/n." You hiccupped, hands shaking as he continued to speak, rubbing your back. "I don't understand you feel this way... But I'd love to listen to what you have to say, and I'll gladly help you... Whether on changing yourself, or accepting what you look like.

"Because I like you for you."

You choked out a sob, burying your face in his chest and wrapping your arms around his torso, finally hugging him back. Your cries were muffled against him, feeling guilty for wetting his uniform, but Shoto didn't seem to mind, as he continued to stroke your hair and comfort you. You felt so relieved, so elated that Shoto Todoroki likes you back. If you were dreaming, then you don't want to wake up anytime soon.

But it felt so real, so it had to be. You sniffled, muttering a muffled "I like you too," At him, making a small smile emerged from his lips. Insecurities were hard to deal with, he knew how you felt somehow, with the scar on his face. He may not understand why you talk about your body as if it was disgusting, but he won't deny your feelings about it. He will make sure you'll learn to love and accept yourself, he'll be there by your side. After all, he's learned to feel more accepting towards his scar, despite the bad memories it held.

With you, the burns the felt on his scar faded.

"I prefer you to call me Shoto, please..." He said, wiping away your tears again once you pulled away. You shot him a questioning gaze but nodded nevertheless. Shoto flushed once more, turning his head away from you. "I just... like how you say it..."

You let a giggle slip past your lips, feeling your cheeks heat up again. "Call me Y/n then..."

The next day was a little awkward. You were a nervous wreck and your face was always red to the point you had to be sent to the infirmary, while Shoto had this dreamy look on his face the whole day. The class had a suspicion about what happened yesterday, but nevertheless, they were happy you're interacting again.

How lucky you truly are.

✦ THIS IS SO CUTE AHDGSAHDA,, omg chubby reader~?? i so understand how that feels so,, may have projected in this HAHAAGDH,, i hope you like this anon~ if ever you feel insecure of your body, just know you’re absolutely stunning no matter what people say~! self love, people !! I hope this is okay anon, I may have gotten too far on uh, the trauma part... sorry for projecting ALSO WHOOPS FUCKED UP THE REQUEST BU NOT READING YOUR ASK

So uh, BNHA will remain themeless rn,, making KNY themes was a lot so let me take a break on that first 😭

Bestie you have no idea how much i wanted to abandon this after Tumblr did me dirty and whitescreened my ass for no reason leading to me losing like, 40% of the fic tht was EXTEREMELY important........

#:;marshie.writes #:;hurt.comfort #:;oneshots #:;requested #:;shoto.todoroki #my hero acadamia #boku no hero acadamia #mha #mha x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader

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stargaze-issei · 4 years

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— "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" (𝐛. 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; when your father, the head of the japanese mafia, was killed, your childhood friend swore to protect you till his death. now, you're the empress of the underground world, and he doesn't know what's harder, to keep you safe or manage to hide his feelings. what will he do when, for the first time, your life's at risk and he isn't anywhere near?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; mafia!au, angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; swearing, mentions of blood, guns, murder, kidnap, yk... mafia stuff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; lemme know if u want a part two bc i felt like it was getting too long and i don't know if anyone will read it or like it 👉🏻👈🏻

"where the fuck are you?" bakugou's voice stroke over the phone, noticeably angry. he had told you several times to never go anywhere without him, which you mostly did, if it weren't for him being away a lot of times. nothing less was expected from your right hand, who handled every dirty job, and considering your line of work, it wasn't scarce. but you did had other bodyguards, just as trained as katsuki, willing to give their lifes for you, which was extremely better than having bakugou giving his life.

to his eyes, you were still the little girl from before. he saw you as a someone who needed protection. at first, you agreed. your father was murdered, someone managed to get through all his security and killed him, none of the guns he and his security team carried around could protect him, killing you would be like stealing a sweet from a baby. bakugou had always kept you safe, despite his agressive usual safe, he cared about you more than he cared for himself. so you stuck to his side, believing, hoping, he'd die for you. but that was a long time ago, now, you could defend yourself, and had raised a sense of loyalty in your people by your own. your father's empire was based in fear, yours? by admiration. you didn't see your people as working ants, but as important parts of a whole. still, anyone who was a threat to you, bakugou made sure to erase them forever.

"don't talk to me like that, i'm your boss" you could feel him losing his shit, a smile began to form in your face. even when everyone respected you, he was still the same.

"you can't boss anyone if you're fucking dead, you dumb shit" a laugh came out of your throat, he couldn't avoid smiling at the sound "wait, oh, okay, i know we're you are. stay there, i'll be in three" he hung up before you could reply.

you looked back, at one of your guards who was just putting away his phone. of course they told him. why couldn't you go get your own coffee? being in the office all day was tiring, to be five minutes outside was all you asked for. a few seconds after, they handed you your coffee, obviously, a guard had to try it first, in case that barista wanted to suddenly murder you. of course he didn't.

"who let her go outside without me knowing, huh?" a furious katsuki appeared through the door, making a scene in the place. you gave him a warning look. if there was something you hated, was that. everyone in the area knew who you were, but why make it any more obvious. those people were just living their usual lifes, and people tend to get nervous around you. "the car is waiting outside" he understood, but you knew he was going to scold you anyways.

you walked outside, smiling, and got into the car, followed by katsuki and one of his subordinates, the other one got in the front sit, next to the driver.

"save it, i'm n–"

"the fuck you are" he cut you "your safety is my responsibility, if i say you can't go out without me, then you fucking don't. specially not when there are people after your head" there was no denying he was right, but still, it upset you.

"there's always people after my head, bakugou".

two weeks ago, two men went into your office. they were in charge of some dealing territories, though small, important. most contraband had to pass those places, you controlled those police departments making everything easier to your truck drivers. they were beaten, cover in blood and barely standing.

"our men, all of them... they all..." only one of them could talk, the other being too shocked to even look at you. "kazuhito's men, it was them... they said we had to tell you, they're coming after you" you couldn't show any fear in front of your so called soldiers, and your template remained at ease. a shout was enough to get those men the help they needed, after holding their hands, you promised to go see them once they were checked by doctors. you called bakugou as soon as they left, he was the first who should know and help you decide what to do next.

the kazuhito family had always been rivals, enemies of the worst kind. everyone suspect they were behind your father's assassination, but with no proof, even you knew it would be the biggest mistake to charge against them, despite your personal desires.

"i already told the drivers they had to take rout b for a while, but we can't let them just keep what's our" you explained to katsuki once he arrived. "those drugs have to get in town by us, damnit". it was clear how frustrated you were, those assholes had mess with your and your father's hardwork.

"if we retaliate, a war will unchain. your father tried to avoid that for years"

"and see how he ended up" bakugou didn't know if it was the anger, or you talking. "we will lose everyone's respect if we don't do something, they killed dozens of our people, katsuki".

he was trying hard to stay objective in that situation, but it was near impossible. a war would put you in more danger than ever, your life was at stake, and bakugou wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. growing up by your side, your father taking him in when his parents died, you were his only family. more than that, he loved you. the only reason he was able to do his job right, was the fear of losing you. your head was already valued in millions, how could he protect you in the middle of a conflict, that would end only with your death or the kazuhito's leader's death? your power was bigger than theirs by little, but they did something that reckless, which meant they thought they had out powered you. had they? or were they just bluffing? had they miscalculated?.

"we're taking action, wether you support me or not" you looked into each other's eyes, you knew him enough to understand his fear, just not the reason behind it. your voice softened "but i'd much rather do it with you by my side".

"you're the boss" he spoke, already regretting it "i'll schedule a meeting so the high charges let everyone else know, i'm staying at your place so we can trace a plan".

and there you were now, being reprimanded by bakugou. he was extremely tired, he decided to stay with you until things were calmer, which could be several months from then. getting up at six a.m, going to sleep past midnight, being always looking for possible threats, it had given him bags under his eyes.

"i'm sorry" you said once you were alone with him, it was only then that you could let your guard down "i'm making this harder for you".

"yeah, you are. but it's my job, after all" that came out wrong, he thought. it wasn't his job, it was his fucking life purpose. he wanted you to live a long, happy life, as hard as it seemed.

"i guess it is" deep down, his response disappointed you.

"hey, look at me" out of nowhere, his body was insanely close to yours, you felt his breath in your face as he lifted your chin with his finger "there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, got that, dumbass?"

for a brief moment, the taste of his lips was all you could think about. i bet they're soft. but as fast as it started, it was over, katsuki pulled away harshly, inventing an excuse to leave. he had flown too close to the sun, so close that it burned his skin.

a few more people went to see you that day, asking for diverse permissions, advice and stuff like that. since it had been slow, compared to other times, you decided to home early. a call to your team, and the car was already outside. bakugou left instructions for your departure, because he had things to do somewhere else, much to his displeasure. you were accompanied by your escorts to the doors of the building, that seemed like a normal office compound. there were waiting two other guards, making a total of six people protecting you. way to go, bakugou.

"how's your wife, ryota?" you asked the driver. of course, not everyone fitted in the same car, so you got into the second one, middle seat, between a built up woman and a big man. you tried to remember everyone's name, but it was difficult.

"she's good, ma'am, sends her regards" he smiled at you over the mirror.

"and the baby? he must be a month old, right?" at the memory of his child, his face lightened "you should take some days off, i bet your wife and son miss you"

"i have a duty with you, m–" a loud impact interrupted him, the front glass had exploded. the car had an abrupt movement back and forward, all you could see was blood, everywhere.

the woman next to you took her gun out, in order to protect you , you thought, completely wrong. before everyone could react to her act, she shot the guard in front of you. you looked at your side, searching for someone alive, the same bullet that had killed ryota was in the guard's at your right forehead. besides you , the only other person was that woman. if she hadn't glasses on, that stare could've seen throughout your soul. then you remembered, katsuki made you bare with a knife under your sleeve. with a weird move, you felt its sharpness against your skin, it was there, but she read you like a book. before you could even pull it out, another shot stroke followed by a intense pain in you thight. the bitch had shot you. you blamed it on the adrenaline, because nothing hurt. what happened after was a couple of blurry images in your memory.

bakugou had called you more than a hundred times, you, the drivers, the guards, everyone in his fucking team, but no one knew anything. the cameras at your house never showed you arriving, your phone's location was off. he was out of his head, if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, someone's going to die. he rushed into his car, following your rout at a dangerous speed.

both cars were full of bullet holes, and every guard he had hired was dead. there wasn't a place without blood. tears of pure rage came to his eyes, fuck, it was his fault. he started to look for you, but the whole world was spinning around him. where were you? where was your body? were you alive?, this couldn't be happening. he had left you unprotected, alone, and now you could be dead, because of his uselessness. his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"sir, we– we have– the kazuhito's are here" he left as fast as he came. they had touch you, they had taken you away from him, and he wasn't going to let them get away with it, even if he had to go against a whole army, whoever was behind it all was going to pay.

a man in a suit was sitting in the chair of your office, smoking a cigarette, as calm as a rock. katsuki was so close to rip his head of right there, that somebody had to hold him down. his own people updated him, saying that he had gone into the building alone, with no weapons of any kind, not even a cellphone.

"where the fuck is she?" he crashed his hand against the desk.

"ah, mr. bakugou, please take a se–"

"tell me where she is right now if you want to keep your head, fucking bastard" his hand had wondered to the tip of the gun in his belt, menacing to blow up at any second.

"you won't do that, mr., if i don't return to my people in one hour, she'll be so fucked up that not even you will recognize her" a laugh surge grom bakugou, a dark, cold laugh.

"i don't have to kill you, then" one of the man's hand rested in the desk, like asking for katsuki to rip it off his body. as you did, he also carried knifes under his shirt. in less than a second, one of them was buried into the man's hand. he screamed, both in shock and pain, giving your bodyguard a hatred look. "what do you want, shitface?"

"i-it's quite simple, actually" his face was white as paper, and even though he wanted to talk normally, his voice shivered "we want you to take over the y/l/n's business, under our command of course" he let out a sigh, trying to keep his composure and ignoring his bleeding hand "if you– if you agree, she will have to leave japan and never..."

bakugou won't agree to that. not now and not ever. to give away what you and your father built from scratch, and spent decades keeping safe, was like killing your child, and your father's memory. to send you away, alone, where he most likely won't see you again in years, was also off the table. it wasn't funny anymore. he started walking around the man's chair, picking up his sleeves. he checked the clock in the office, he had forty-five minutes with the man, meaning, forty-five minutes to make him talk. he ressourced to every fast interrogation method he knew. the people outside the door weren't surprised when they heard the man's screams, even wondering what had taken so long for the boss to start acting. katsuki was never a patient man. his senses were blocked, he couldn't hear anything but screams and begging, all his eyes could see was pain through all the man's body, his hands felt nothing but warm blood. but for the first time in a while, he wasn't enjoying it. he was doing it out of need, the need to save you. every minute that went by, was a minute were your life risked. he never felt so close to losing his sanity.

"outside the city! she's in one of our safe houses outside the city! i don't know which, please stop!" ten minutes before the timeline he finally gave up. your intelligence had all their safe houses, storages, garages, every location needed. not a second passed when one of yours men delivered a map with all the points marked. there were five in total.

"throw him outside in ten minutes" he shouted, walking to the armory "two teams, six people each, my fucking people, hear me? now, dammit! we're leaving in a minute, if i have to go by my fucking self, i'll do it"

when he was armed to the teeth, almost a dozen of people followed him outside. they were his most trusted men and women, being trained together, he knew they were as skilled as him, and they were all willing to put their life's at stake for you, their boss. in the car, bakugou barked the instructions. he had narrowed it down to two possible locations with all the information he had. if they had to kill every person in those places, then be it. he's going to get you back.

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jungxk · 3 years

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// rant

i'm jus so heartbroken rn i've been crying for the past hour i jus need to put my feelings out there, i hope it's ok w you.

my mum wakes up today and jus starts berating me bc i didnt put washed dishes into the cabinets & the kitchen looked messy for her. i'm supposed to do it bc there's nothing else i actually do but yesterday i had woken up in the evening nd they called me to pray straight away so i totally forgot about it (coupled w the fact that i dont like doing it either cuz there's always sm dishes nd it's such a hassle). she jus started scolding me senseless nd im someone who doesnt get mad easily, even if i do i tend to stay quiet bc i dont like conflict & angry emotions are ugly. but i couldnt stop it today? she kept calling me selfish nd she's been calling me that the past few days as well bc i never help out w chores or anything. she's always asking me "what do u do for this family" or "what do u do in this house" every single time nd ofc i cant say shit bc i dont. i'm doing uni online nd it's really not that easy but bc i dont talk to my family like at all, they think i'm all good. the other day i pissed them off nd my parents straight up said "why do we need to pay for ur uni ure not doing anything anyway" & i jus... i didnt even know if i even deserve to feel sad over it. they were asking me what i wanna do after uni as if im not just in my first year & when i said im not sure they got so mad and my mum purposely said "just marry her off" to push my buttons into giving them an answer. they keep saying i'm pushing them into being the worst and saying the worst to me but how is that fair? they're parents? adults? i'm jus 20 & i can control my emotions? but today really jus pushed me she got so mad at me for the littlest things nd i jus exploded. I asked her why she's mad and she's like cuz of the kitchen bla bla bla nd it got so frustrating i told her it's not my problem nd i jus wont ever eat again since all the unwashed dishes piling is my fault. nd then she got mad at me for that and scolded me. I hate being touched but mostly i hate being hit. imagine getting hit at 20 years old bc my mother is too emotionally unstable that she cant take a few seconds by herself to calm her anger down. I hate it. nd bc i said it's not my problem she came nd told me "yea it won't be ur problem when i die too! i'll make sure when i do, u never come see me." jus... what kind of parent says that? i'm so careful w what i say & i slip sometimes bc i'm human but how can a mother say that? she doesnt know anything about me. she doesn't know i dont like being hit, she doesnt know i dont like it when ppl act impulsively on emotions. sometimes i feel like i really am the problem nd that i'm really selfish. spending shit ton of money to get me to study, maybe i am selfish. i dont mind it. i know myself well enough to hate things about myself. but to have parents who barely know me as a person rather than a daughter, getting this much mad at me for smthn so simple jus makes me so sad. bc i was doing the task when she asked. she does things like this then wonders why i cant ever talk to her. entire family thinks i'm immature bc i behave exactly how they treat me. 20 years. I never ask for much. but it's starting to feel like asking to study in the uk was my greatest downfall. it feels like i dont deserve this. every day i'm itching to get away, to live alone bc they've made me feel like i can never work well in groups. it's always somehow my fault as if they havent been invalidating me nd my feelings since birth.

nd i can never tell them all these bc i'm never confident in them. i'm never confident in whether i would be accepted nd comforted without ridicule or scolding. my brother & father tell me it's like that, that jus bc i may get a scolding shouldn't stop me from being open. but what kind of stupidity is that? my mother who makes me feel like the world is ending when i accidentally break smthn, that it wasn't an accident but rather it's me nd that i jus cant do a good job— where is the comfort i can ever find coming to her w a problem?

nd bc of that we're not close. bc of that she's closer to my cousins & everyone else really. they've never concerned themselves to talking about family issues w me but when i dont know, they shame me, saying i never bother to ask— how would i know when to ask? should they be telling me when there's smthn going on?

this makes the concept of family so repelling for me. there is inherently no reason to ever have a child that isnt selfish or self fulfilling. what they do as parents is to make them feel as important nd respected as they expect from the child. but it's never like that w south asians. emotions dont exist if ure the child nd apparently getting mad is a norm nd shouldn't stop u from being emotional w someone.

at times i tell myself that i should pay back every penny my parents spent on me. bc sometimes it feels like it's being used to make me act or feel a certain way. i dont wanna feel this way. theyre my parents, i know theyre good people. but i'm so hurt by the things going on nd the things from the past. my mother invalidates me sm. she more or less kinda blamed me for feeling useless and depressed last year. my brother was telling her to go easy on me nd she got so mad & frustrated bc she didnt know what she was doing wrong. "if she feels so useless why doesnt she do anything about it?" like that was such a golden chance for her to have comforted me nd i couldve opened up? but she ruined it nd hurt me again.

last year i lived w her alone nd my dad was in our home country. I was having some troubles w him gone but i dont call or text bc... it always felt like a drag. it never felt like a conversation nd the only time it did was when i complained to him about my mum. so much shit happened between my mum and i & this person advised me to jus write some of my feelings to her. so i wrote her a long letter nd i included saying how not having my dad was hard on me too. flash forward im in my home country & w my dad. i know nobody here bc i didnt grow up here. i'm doing online uni & basically have to stay indoors cuz of covid. she brings that letter up when she was to berate me nd it jus feels so uncomfortable for me? like ok my actions dont line up but i wrote that cuz i was looking for comfort nd understanding. if i knew it was going to be held against me, i would not have done it? "u said it was so hard for u without him, so what do u even do for him here now?"— what can i do? i'm just 20 nd the situation im in is not normal? i'm grateful to be w my dad again but what can i do? &it always freaking comes down to house chores. i try my best. when our maid doesnt come i do my best w my tasks. i know it's not enough but i jus... i dont even know. ig that part of me is selfish nd lazy.

it's so suffocating here. all my feelings are bottled up nd im so scared what that would do to me in the future. but at least i know i'm too selfish to ever spend the rest of my life w someone.

sorry for the long rant. i hope this didnt ruin ur mood or anything i jus need an outlet nd ur blog jus feels so comforting nd welcoming. thank u for listening to me nd my feelings. God bless u really kssjdjsj

i’m rlly sorry this is happening to you bby. idk what race u are but this sounds so much like that asian mentality where emotions are black and white and comfort in any way is out of the question. ur still rlly young tho so ur relationship with ur parents has room to improve i promise. i think it’s rlly important for u to move out whenever u can tho bc that’s what rlly improves the relationship. having said this i do think the way your mum talks to u/treats u is emotionally and mentally abusive so whether you want to uphold that tie with her in the future is ur choice i just rlly hope u get somewhere safe and away from ur family soon x

#answered

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