#bc my essays are all so long | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

legendoftherisingtide · 6 months

Text

[intro]

Bakugou is a prideful, arrogant person. He holds himself to the highest standard; he is the best and everyone else is simply below him. Everything he has ever done was in pursuit of being number one, shining above the rest. He has to have a perfect victory, he has to be a perfect student, he has to win to save.

He pushes and pushes and won’t let anyone see his weaknesses or his insecurities. He can never lose, he can never fail, he can never show that he regrets or hesitates or that he hasn’t thought everything through. He must never be vulnerable in every sense of the word.

Then why is he standing in the rain.

To apologize shouldn’t be a sacrifice, but it is for Bakugou. To pour his feelings, to admit his wrong, to let down all of the walls he has built and be vulnerable. And in front of his whole class.

He is willing to sacrifice his pride, to fully sacrifice any superiority he could have, to bare his soul and even risk rejection. Because he knows Midoriya is more important. Because he wants him to come home, he wants him to know his true feelings, because he wants things to change.

Because Midoriya has changed him. Midoriya has opened his eyes; by showing him he’s allowed to be open, that his feelings should be expressed, that he has so much to learn, and so much of that was learned through Midoriya just existing.

He isn’t sacrificing his safety frivolously because he’s expected to as a hero; he is doing it because he has grown. He is doing it because he has finally admitted to himself that he wants Midoriya to be with him and safe.

So I will sacrifice this for you. Not because it will change anything, as much as I want that I know that I can’t just fix all the wrong with just this. And I am willing to do as much as it takes to earn your forgiveness. But I don’t need that from you, not now and not ever if you don’t want that, I just need you to rest. I did so much wrong. And I am sorry for everything. You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on us. You are so strong and being supported doesn’t discount that. You’ve taught me that.

I hate the rain. But I will brave it for you.

He would do everything in his power, admit so many things, just to get Midoriya to take care of himself. We see him being the most vulnerable he has ever been in front of people that aren’t Midoriya. He does so much completely out of character, all in pursuit of being there for Midoriya.

For Izuku.

He finally gets over himself and finally tells Midoriya the feelings he has felt for so long.

He lets go of this idea he is inherently better and finally acknowledges that his hatred for Midoriya has always been about his own shortcomings and insecurities. But he still wants to be better, they are still rivals. He isn’t going to sacrifice that part of him because that is just who he is; he is still going to push to number one.

But now it’s different.

There is verbal and vocal acceptance and respect. Before it was unspoken; their relationship had changed ever since Ground Beta. They were proper rivals, with mutual respect and care, they were actively making each other better.

But Bakugo finally verbalizes it and tells Midoriya, not only is he sorry, but he wants to actually have a proper friendship; he wants to continue to become better and earn his forgiveness. He wants them to push each other to be better, he wants to continue to fight for the top spot, he still wants to be the best.

But when did it become something else?

When was the turning point when it started to shift from wanting to surpass Midoriya and be the best, to wanting to keep up with Midoriya and stay by his side?

Bakugou has already sacrificed himself for Midoriya before. His body moved on its own; with no hesitation, he would save Midoriya. He has already risked his life for him. But there is a layer to it that I don’t think people talk about.

He tells Midoriya he shouldn’t try to win this on his own.

He disguises his concern with an insistence that he’s in it to fight for himself when he initially joins the battle. But it is to fight by Midoriya’s side and support him.

But taking the hit for Midoriya, jumping in the way isn’t just support. This is sacrifice. This is giving yourself to ensure the safety of someone. And it was second nature.

There are two reasons and both are a sacrifice of something in the moment.

It is knowing someone is so valuable, so great, in all senses of the word, that they must be protected. Bakugou is sacrificing his body and admitting that Midoriya needs to stay alive, for personal reasons and/or for the world. He needs Midoriya to be okay, Midoriya can’t fight alone and Bakugou will do anything to make sure he will be okay.

But the sacrifice of ideology.

With every development, he has relinquished parts of himself. When he sacrifices himself he is not only sacrificing his body but is admitting that he can’t do this on his own; he needs Midoriya too. This isn’t him wanting to be better than Midoriya, it’s him wanting to do it together.

Midoriya changed him.

He doesn’t die for Midoriya. He wakes up and just as his last thought was Midoriya, so was his first as he woke up. He runs to his side. People are dragging him back, trying to have him rest, knowing before he even said anything that he would lose his mind over Midoriya’s situation.

Everyone sees how Bakugou feels about Midoriya.

He sacrifices himself because Midoriya can not die on him. Midoriya has to stay alive. Midoriya has to keep fighting.

There can not be a world that doesn’t have him in it.

This is the culmination of what has been developing ever since the final exam where Bakugou finally works with Midoriya; the day that win to save, save to win was noticed. Then furthered after Ground Beta where they finally talked to each other and something changed within them both.

But the final sacrifice is the culmination of Bakugou’s character.

He knows what this decision will mean. Everyone screams for him not to. He knows that he is going to die. He knows he will not win this fight.

This isn’t dying for the cause. This isn’t just a hero complex. This is because he can help Midoriya and he will. This is for Izuku.

I will sacrifice myself for you. To give you more time, to give you even the slightest chance of winning. I will sacrifice myself for you because you are who can win. I am going to die. I am going to die and in my final thoughts, I will ask if I will still be able to be by your side.

It is no longer can I beat you. It is no longer can I surpass you. It is can I still catch up to you. It is can I still even be equal to you. He has already sacrificed the idea that he could beat Midoriya, that isn’t what he wants anymore. What he wants is to stay here with him.

I will sacrifice everything I am. I have wanted to be the best. All my life I have wanted to surpass you and everyone around me. But you. I will let that go for you. I let it go in my mind for so long now and I have never wanted to admit it. Is it even possible? Is it even possible for me to catch up to you? Is it even possible for me to stay by your side. I can’t be that anymore. I am sacrificing even that now. I will never be number one now. I will never become the person I always dreamed to be. I will never surpass you. I am forever sacrificing that now. I will die here.

But can I still be with you?

The sacrifice of his life is him fully relinquishing everything he is, admitting that he can’t keep up, losing all of the progress he has made, letting go of everything that made up his character.

And the last thing on his mind is if he can still be able to be by Midoriya’s side.

He won’t let him go again.

#EDITED BC I REALIZED I DIDNT PUT A READ MORE SO IT MUST BE SO OBNOXIOUS #so I finally finished putting in the images and mustered up the courage to post it #I’m always so nervous about posting opinions or anything long bc I get super passionate and I’m scared it’s wrong—#i added pictures as evidence but in reality is was bc i was super insecure that no one would want to read all that--#the intro was so long and was also made to apply to both togachako and bakudeku so i just made it a masterpost instead #this is still very long i am sorry but i have so many thoughts #but like yeah this is just my little essay about sacrifice and love and how they’re intertwined #and it goes both ways #but that’s for another day and another essay #togachako follow the sacrifice and love perfectly #so I will probably write one for them as well… maybe #bkdk #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakudeku meta #bnha analysis #mha analysis #bnha spoilers #<- for the whole manga but cmon if ur reading this you know it all #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku

356 notes · View notes

arcanegifs · 18 days

Text

#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT #ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO #personal tag #dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl #because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol #i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives #these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive #ik we're getting new stuff in a few months #and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like #i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly #i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times #binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol #i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo #I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL #I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane #but like..... idk man i miss content lmao #iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed #so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now #anyways im gonna go bye bye

79 notes · View notes

andthebeanstalk · 1 year

Text

PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS

PUSSY.

BIG FLAPPY WET JESUS PUSSY.

JESUS' SOPPING WET PUSS-PUSS

[Edited months after posting to discourage catholics from replying to this post after finding that both the nice and much funnier not-nice responses to this were equally bad for my mental health. I didn't wanna delete it bc I was quite proud of some of my responses and it helps to have a visual reminder of why I left an abusive organization. Also, this means that any catholic who has reblogged this in an attempt to convert me, has now reblogged a post that, if clicked, links back to this. Use MY post for propaganda, will you!]

Thinking about how it was never made clear to me in Catholic school exactly WHY Jesus died for our sins. I just remembered that I was literally never clear on who the dying helped??

I've heard theories as an adult, but basically what I'm saying is pointless martyrdom seems a little pointless, and also with enough propaganda the big logical gaps in a belief system get really hard to see. Especially if questioning anything is blasphemy.

I would have gotten in so much trouble for insisting the teacher explain how Jesus helped us by being tortured to death by Romans even when God could have prevented it! God sent his only Son, they would have said! Be grateful, they'd say! Be guilty! Stop asking why he did that!!!

#original #religious trauma #<- what's up guys why did he do that??? for real i was raised catholic and it is FUCKING UNCLEAR but also the basis of a huge chunk of #my childhood?? like WHY though? my friend madeleine said it was related to animal sacrifices with the lamb of god stuff and all #this was NEVER mentioned in my school. i thought he was the lamb bc he followed god but maybe not #no wonder my impulse as a person is to constantly sacrifice myself unnecessarily #i think martyrdom is a bad gift. but i guess torture your son to death or whatever dude. but it's weird to do that and say it was for me #like...... thanks?? you're literally omnipotent but this is like the worst possible version of a cat leaving a dead mouse on my bed #Christianity #thank goodness i was too much of a fag to stay. i was so unhappy there.#the good place actually addresses a lot of my issues with Christianity as a whole while also not being all about Christianity #like what does it mean to condemn a person capable of change to eternal hell?M #*hell??#the good place #god pays the devil's rent y'all. like in that post that made my long beautiful essay about this irrelevant by #summing it up with 'girl they are in cahoots.' i think about that post all the fukn time nothing i can write longform is as punchy as that

410 notes · View notes

fleshadept · 2 years

Photo

Rocky + magic

Boy (2010) dir. Taika Waititi

#boy (2010)#taika waititi #cricket gifs #do u get it.#this is like. a gifset about an essay i have simmering in the back of my head so here comes some long ass tags #rocky actually has magic first of all we love magical realism #second of all he has to learn to reconcile his powers (which he believes killed his mom) with his potential to do good #with those powers #so when he knocks alamein over that's a turning point bc he suddenly realizes he Could kill his only remaining parent too #so he imagines himself bringing back the rat from the dead while he's at joanie's grave #an obvious representation of his desire to be able to bring his mom back with the powers that killed her #then alamein starts to talk about how much he loves ET (and rocky wants to be loved) for his healing powers #so the next time we see rocky trying to use his magic after that is on leaf #but then he uses it on alamein #doing literally everything he can with the sparkler and the red jacket and the roller skates #to say i want to connect with you i want to be your son please forgive me #for killing her #sorry for what i did to mum #and it works. it works.

1K notes · View notes

dr3amofagame · 6 months

Note

I think Dream in prison was always going to go poorly because it would require Sam to be as infallible as Pandora's Vault itself, and he's not. He has way too much personal stake in what Dream is doing, and in trying to force himself to be an emotionless machine that abides only the protocol he became a hypocritical wreck that only indulged his vindictive emotions and spiraled out of control trying to keep the situation steady. That's not even addressing how keeping someone in the prison would never be ethical because it's a psychological torture box designed by the psychological torture guy

I mean, I can see the argument that it would've been hard to like. Not make Pandora's Vault unethical, considering the size of the server and the fact that he was the only prisoner etc leading to a situation where yeah, he would've been left alone for long stretches of time no matter what, solitary was kinda inevitable, etc. Like I can see an argument for that. But on principle I feel like the influence that protocol had on the prison arc and on c!Sam specifically tends to be heavily overstated...because a significant portion of the prison arc, honestly, is making the point that the protocol was entirely based on what c!Sam determined.

Like, sure, the prison was always going to suck. c!Dream was never going to come out from it entirely unscathed. But there's a huge fucking difference between what he was prepared for (isolation + shitty food for an unspecified amount of time) and what situation he ended up in (his life at the mercy of two people that showed absolutely no damn qualms about literally torturing him). I think it's very fair to say that yeah, c!Sam was far from an unbiased party, and he was very much emotionally affected to his detriment during the prison arc. But...ultimately? I feel like we really don't see c!Sam struggling to maintain protocol over the course of months only to slowly break down. I don't think we see him "snap" and "lose control." necessarily, in the way that people often act is the case. (The strongest argument, in my opinion, in favor of c!Sam being greatly affected by some stressor that then has him turn to extreme cruelty has little to nothing to do with the prison itself and more to do with his brief stint with the Egg, but with so little attention drawn to that as a cause in the story of the prison itself, I feel like this mostly remains in the realm of speculation.)

Like, if we look at the facts, c!Sam's behavior day one was already weirding people out. Day one and c!Dream is already throwing himself in lava and c!Sam does not seem to give a damn. Of course, both of their behaviors had a myriad of reasons behind them, but it's important to note that there's like literally never been a single moment in the prison arc where c!Sam hasn't been, like, off.

We never see any of c!Ranboo's actual prison visits, but we know these happened very very early in c!Dream's imprisonment and that they were terminated quite early as well, once c!Sam discovered c!Ranboo writing in ender in the prison contracts. However, considering how the inside of the prison was the same between his dream and the real world, it is reasonable to say that c!Sam's behavior in the dream could've also been taken from reality, and "he knows what happens [when he disobeys]" is a hell of a statement to make.

c!Bad's prison visit is when things seem to be seriously off. Even if you consider c!Dream's behavior in this stream as entirely an act, c!Sam is noticeably tense after the prison visit and very demanding about what c!Dream said once c!Bad leaves the cell. c!Dream commenting on food being withheld is consistent with what we know happened in the prison arc later on. c!Sam says that c!Dream has been tossing himself in lava for attention. Several comments are made about "behaving" and "behavior," c!Sam is looking into the installation of an automatic feeder, and visitation is facing restrictions.

Pretty crucially, we see that c!Sam is very comfortable with making changes to the prison. Major changes to the prison, even. Installing an automatic feeder isn't exactly an easy process? And it obviously wasn't outlined in any kind of preexisting protocol. But c!Sam is perfectly willing to change this, just as he's perfectly willing to make all kinds of rules on visitation and limiting visitation because of c!Dream's behavior, etc, (which can reasonably be inferred as not being preexisting rules because that would mean that c!Dream, who allegedly helped with the creation of all of these rules, would be intentionally sabotaging his chances of visitation...when he very evidently wanted people to visit? like sorry but that doesn't make any sense) because he's the Warden and therefore the sole authority of Pandora's Vault and allowed to do literally anything he damn well pleases.

Further, sure, c!Dream might be acting in all the prison visits. Sure, he might be acting In General during this time, etc. But despite disobedience (disobedience with the explicit expressed purpose of trying to get c!Sam to spend more time with him...?) I would hardly characterize almost anything he does during these early days as being anything for c!Sam to be reasonably vindictive over. Even if you consider hopping into the lava (something c!Sam could've solved literally as easily as just raising the netherite barrier), tossing the clock into the lava (also preventable if c!Dream can't access the fucking lava????), and a couple alleged escape attempts (the only one that we know of being him trying to use the lectern to create a nether portal, something hardly easy to do and an attempt that c!Sam very evidently put down quite easily)--like. I can understand him being angry because of what c!Dream had done in the past, and obviously being angry because of c!Dream telling him about exile, but c!Dream early on in the prison arc hardly behaves badly. (Not that bad behavior would justify abuse, but you know.)

By the time of c!Sapnap's prison visit, c!Dream isn't the only one acting weird. c!Sam is strange in ways that are never fully explained and uh heavily imply shady shit??? He's not abiding by protocol when he suddenly interrupts the process of helping a visitor out of the prison by forcing c!Sapnap to respawn in order to check on c!Dream for Some Reason. He's once again very persistent about the question of whether or not c!Dream "said anything" and then reacts strangely when c!Sapnap was able to get him to say a word. He's replaced like a quarter of the obsidian in the cell with crying obsidian, which again, is an instance of c!Sam making BIG changes to the prison without protocol or anything dictating his actions. At most you can maybe make the argument that he's being moved by the spirit of the protocol, that being security should be prioritized over everything (hence potatoes instead of steak, hence no courtyard, hence--in this case--crying obsidian to make the escape attempt ineffective) but it's clearly nothing that they explicitly wrote down.

Also, around this time (I forget the exact date) he explicitly bans c!Ranboo from visiting. Also something we can reasonably assume isn't something that was included in any protocol that c!Dream wrote considering his uh, vested interests in continuing to have an informant.

c!Tommy's visit and that ensuing debacle, of course, is one of the first times we see c!Sam clearly, explicitly acting AGAINST the protocol that was established. The protocol outlines that c!Tommy should have stayed in there for at most a week, and c!Sam explicitly denies him from leaving when the time comes??? Even if you argue that he's doing it "for security", he's doing it in a manner that is going directly against the letter of the law of the protocol that he created with c!Dream. This is a clear demonstration that c!Sam sees himself, and acts as if he is above the law of Pandora's Vault, because, of course, he is the law. He is the Sole Authority. He is the Warden, and he answers to no one but himself. c!Tommy's death obviously ensues in quite the emotional fallout for him, and wanting revenge on c!Dream for this matter motivates his actions later on in the arc...but it's important to consider that mistreatment beyond the scope of what c!Dream expected long preceded this point. c!Sam, immediately after c!Tommy dies, describes himself as thinking that c!Dream's will was too broken to do anything like that. Describes himself as having punished c!Dream in every manner that he could think of. He doesn't go in to feed c!Dream for WEEKS after c!Tommy's death, directly leading to c!Tommy himself being isolated and starved post-revival. He bans visitation. All of these matters hardly seem like matters that c!Dream would have included in the prison protocol that he created when he was planning to be put in that prison, where he specifically had a vested interest in keeping himself (and the book) safe + having, like, FOOD + being able to have visitors in a safe manner + NOT being abused?

And even if we dismiss all of this as c!Sam acting in the best interests of security because c!Dream told him that the security of the prison is more important than anything else (which, even though we know that c!Dream did have this perspective to some degree, still doesn't eliminate c!Sam's responsibility as the one carrying out the existing protocol and making all of these Big Decisions and Big Changes etc to the prison) -- the decision to let c!Quackity into the prison stomps on all of that. That decision completely goes against not only the letter of the damn law that they established together, but the spirit of what the prison was ever meant to be in the first place. He compromises the security of the prisoner and the prison on the DAILY by letting in someone in full gear! With items! And plays a game with chance with c!Dream's life (and the revive book) every damn day. He hardly had enough of a system in place to keep c!Quackity from taking c!Dream's life, and he was certainly unable to stop c!Quackity from landing what would've been a killing blow on c!Techno before he got tp-ed out, like. He completely fucks over EVERYTHING that Pandora's Vault was meant to be, and that was...entirely his decision. Sure, c!Quackity manipulated him, true, but he was not beholden by any protocol or any element of his duty when he made this choice.

This isn't to say that c!Sam wasn't very much emotionally affected and making clouded judgements--he was! Especially if you factor in the stress of other events such as the Egg, etc. But I hesitate to ascribe any element of c!Sam's...c!Samness in the prison arc as him "cracking under the pressure," so to speak. The implications of mistreatment just start too early and are too calculated for me to say that he was simply reacting badly to stressors. I think he was absolutely trying his best to keep the situation "steady," in a sense, but keeping it steady never meant simply being an emotionless guardian to an impenetrable prison who couldn't cope as everything began piling up--keeping things steady, as early as that first month, meant breaking c!Dream into something docile. That was intentional. That was something he was making an active effort to do. Nor do I think that the claim that c!Sam was simply abiding by protocol holds any water, as I outline above: c!Sam has always acted above the protocol established in the prison to the point where even from the first time we see him acting as Warden during that first damn questionaire a specific point is made that he is the ultimate authority on the grounds of the Vault and his word is law. He acted within protocol when convenient to him and trampled over it when convenient to him, and I feel that people can overemphasize the role that protocol played in the decisions he made the same way that he himself did when he was shifting the blame of his own abusive actions onto c!Dream when he had the power, and always had the power, to amend the protocol established in any way he damn well pleased.

Of course, this isn't to say that the protocol was good. It, uh, wasn't--and plenty of people have criticized c!Dream for them even though the prison, as it ended up being used for his plans, was never anything more than a place for him to put himself because of the danger that the rest of the server presented, a base for him to hide in after the prison arc because of its security measures, and a "just-in-case" measure for them to hold their enemies if need be (which he never actually does, even when given golden opportunities to do so: inconsolable differences and the finale come to mind. Even if we're talking about his saw trap in the finale, the plan was to kill one and let the other go free (????????) while also giving them the exact items that could've easily been the keys to their escapes. after c!Tommy and c!Tubbo kill him. but I digress). But c!Sam goes so damn far beyond the protocol established by the "psychological torture guy" that he literally wasn't even beholden to when he was the Warden of the Vault on account of said guy being his prisoner. I don't really see any arguments about c!Sam's behavior having to do with him being too fallible of a man for the job he was given--he does exactly what he wants to do, how he wants to do it, using the job that gives him the power to do so. It's just that "what he wants to do" is not exactly what c!Dream had in mind when he and c!Sam were coming up with the plans for the prison and the protocol that they worked together to create because what he wants to do is, apparently, own a guy and keep him in his hell box. You know?

(i hope this didn't read too aggressively!)

#my asks !!#c!sam critical #long post #apologies on the essay i just have very strong opinions on the use of protocol to justify what c!Sam does #if c!Sam gave a single damn about protocol we would've seen him actually abide by protocol #and meanwhile this guy won't even use the literal built in security measure of the netherite barrier #to solve the problem of c!dream's 'misbehavior' early in the prison arc #when it literally could've solved ALL OF THEM #(jumping into the lava. throwing the clocks into the lava. trying to use the lava to start a fire to start a nether portal)#but then goes BEYOND protocol to install a goddamn glass wall later on just. because #like ??????????#at the end of the day c!sam's actions aren't in line with what pandora's vault was supposed to be mostly just bc he had a different vision #for the prison and the prisoner #and he's c!sam so he's able to justify any amount of human rights abuses in order to do what he thinks is 'right'#including of course killing and murdering his own romantic partner

88 notes · View notes

demigod-of-the-agni · 1 month

Text

Spider-Man India, but... where from India?

A SUPER long post featuring talks of: cultural identity, characterisation, the caste system, and what makes Spider-Man Spider-Man.

I’m prefacing this by saying that I am a second-generation immigrant. I was born in Australia, but my cultural background is from South India. My experiences with what it means to be “Indian” is going to be very different from the experiences of those who are born and brought up in India.

If you, reader, want to add anything, please reblog and add your thoughts. This is meant to be a post open for discussion — the more interaction we get, the better we become aware of these nuances.

So I made this poll asking folks to pick a region of India where I would draw Pavitr Prabhakar in their cultural wear. This idea had been on my mind for a long while now, as I had been inspired by Annie Hazarika’s Northeastern Spidey artwork in the wake of ATSV’s release, but never got the time to actually do it until now. I wanted to get a little interactive and made the poll so I could have people choose which of the different regions — North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South — to do first.

The outcome was not what I expected. As you can see, out of 83 votes:

THE RESULTS

South India takes up almost half of all votes (44.6%), followed by Northeast and Central (both 14.5%) and then East (13.3%). In all my life growing up, support towards or even just the awareness of South India was pretty low. Despite this being a very contained poll, why would nearly half of all voters pick South India in favour of other popular choices like Central or North India?

Then I thought about the layout of the poll: Title, Options, Context.

Title: "Tell us who you want to see…"

Options: North, Northeast, Central, East, West, South

Context: I want to make art of the boy again

At first I thought: ah geez. this is my fault. I didn't make the poll clear enough. do they think I want them to figure out where Pavitr came from? That's not what I wanted, maybe I should have added the context before the options.

Then I thought: ah geez. is it my fault for people not reading the entire damn thing before clicking a button? That's pretty stupid.

But regardless, the thought did prompt a line of thinking I know many of us desi folk have been considering since Spider-Man India was first conceived — or, at least, since the announcement that he was going to appear in ATSV. Hell, even I thought of it:

Where did Spider-Man India come from?

FROM A CULTURALLY DIVERSE INDIA

As we know, India is so culturally diverse, and no doubt ATSV creators had to take that into account. Because the ORIGINAL Spider-Man India came from Mumbai — most likely because Mumbai and Manhattan both started with the same letter.

But going beyond that, it’s also because Mumbai is one of the most recognisable cities in India - it’s also known as Bombay. It’s where Bollywood films are shot. It’s where superstar Hindi actors and actresses show up. Mumbai is synonymous with India in that regard, because the easiest way Western countries can interact with Indian culture is through BOLLYWOOD, through HINDI FILMS, through MUMBAI. Suddenly, India is Mumbai, India is a Hindi-only country, India is just this isolated thing we see through an infinitely narrow lens.

We’ve gotten a little better in recent years, but boy I will tell you how uncomfortable I’ve gotten when people (yes, even desi people) come up to me and tell me, Oh, you’re Indian right? Can you speak Hindi? Why don’t you speak Hindi? You’re not Indian if you don’t speak Hindi, that’s India’s national language!

I have been — still am — so afraid of telling people that I don’t speak Hindi, that I’m Tamil, that I don’t care that Hindi is India’s “national” language (it’s an administrative language, Kavin, get your fucking facts right). It’s weird, it’s isolating, and it has made me feel like I wasn’t “Indian” enough to be accepted into the group of “Indian” people.

So I am thankful that ATSV went out of their way to integrate as much variety of Indian culture into the Mumbattan sequence. Maybe that way, the younger generation of desi folk won’t feel so isolated, and that younger Western people will be more open to learning about all these cultural differences within such a vast country.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH SPIDER-MAN INDIA?

Everything, actually. There’s a thing called supremacy. You might have heard of it. We all engaged with it at some point, and if you are Indian, no matter where you live, it is inescapable.

It happens the moment you are born — who your family is, where you are born, the language you speak, the colour of your skin; these will be bound to you for life, and it is nigh impossible to break down the stereotypes associated with them.

Certain ethnic groups will be more favourable than others (Centrals, and thus their cultures, will always be favoured over than Souths, as an example) and the same can be said for social groups (Brahmins are more likely to secure influential roles in politics or other areas like priesthood, while the lowers castes, especially Dalits, aren’t even given the decency of respect). Don’t even get me started on colourism, where obviously those of fairer skin will win the lottery while those of darker skin aren’t given the time of day. It’s even worse when morality ties into it — “lighter skinned Indians, like Brahmins, embody good qualities like justice and wisdom”, “dark skinned Indians are cunning and poor, they are untrustworthy”. It’s fucking nuts.

This means, of course, you have a billion people trying to make themselves heard in a system that tries to crush everyone who is not privileged. It only makes sense that people want to elevate themselves and break free from a society that refuses to acknowledge them. These frustrations manifest outwardly, like in protests, but other times — most times — it goes unheard, quietly shaping your way of life, your way of thinking. It becomes a fundamental part of you, and it can go unacknowledged for generations.

So when you have a character like Pavitr Prabhakar enter the scene, people immediately latch onto him and start asking questions many Western audiences don’t even consider. Who is he? What food does he eat? What does he do on Fridays? What’s his family like, his community? All these questions pop up, because, amidst all this turmoil going on in the background, you want a mainstream popular character to be like you, who knows your way of life so intimately, that he may as well be a part of your community.

BUT THAT'S THE THING — HE'S FICTIONAL

I am guilty of this. In fact, I’ve flaunted in numerous posts how I think he’s the perfect Tamil boy, how he dances bharatanatyam, how he does all these Tamil things that no one will understand except myself. All these niche things that only I, and maybe a few others, will understand.

I’ve seen other people do it, too. I’ve seen people geek out over his dark brown skin, his kalari dhoti, how he fights so effortlessly in the kalaripayattu martial arts style. I’ve seen people write him as Malayali, as Hindi, as every kind of Indian person imaginable.

I’ve also seen him be written where he’s subjected to typical Indian and broader Asian stereotypes. You know the ones I’m so fond of calling out. The thing is, I’ve seen so much of Pavitr being presented in so many different ways, and I worry how the rest of the desi folk will take it.

You finally have a character who could be you, but now he’s someone else’s plaything. Your entire life is shaped by what you can and can’t do simply because you were born to an Indian family, and here’s the one person who could represent you now at the mercy of someone else’s whims. He’s off living a life that is so distant from yours, you can hardly recognise him.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, yeah? But, again, you’re looking at it from that infinitely narrow lens Westerners use to look at India from Bollywood.

AND PAVITR PRABHAKAR DOESN'T LIVE IN INDIA

He lives in Mumbattan. He lives in a made-up, fictional world that doesn’t follow the way of life of our world. He lives in a city where Mumbai and Manhattan got fucking squashed together. There are so many memes about colonialism right there. Mumbattan isn’t real! Spider-Man India isn’t real!! He’s just a dude!! The logic of our world doesn’t apply to him!!!

“But his surname originates from ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he’s wearing a kalari dhoti so surely he’s ______” okay but does that matter?

“But his skin colour is darker so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

“But he lives in Mumbai so he must be ______” okay but does that matter?

I sound insensitive and brash and annoying and it looks like I’m yapping just for the sake of riling you up, so direct that little burst of anger you got there at me, and keep reading.

Listen. I’m going to ask you a question that I’ve asked myself a million times over. I want you to answer honestly. I want you to ask this question to yourself and answer honestly:

Are you trying to convince me on who Pavitr Prabhakar should be?

... but why shouldn't i?

I’ll tell you this again — I did the same thing. You’re not at fault for this, but I want you to just...have a little think over. Just a little moment of self-reflection, to think about why you are so intent on boxing this guy.

It took me a while to reorganise my thinking and how to best approach a character like Pavitr, so I will give you all the time you need as well as a little springboard to focus your thoughts on.

SPIDER-MAN (INDIA) IS JUST A MASK

“What I like about the costume is that anybody reading Spider-Man in any part of the world can imagine that they themselves are under the costume. And that’s a good thing.”

Stan Lee said that. Remember how he was so intent on making sure that everybody got the idea that Spider-Man as an entity is fundamentally broken without Peter Parker there to put on the suit and save the day? That ultimately it was the person beneath the mask, no matter who they were, that mattered most?

Spider-Man India is no less different. You can argue with me that Peter Parker!Spidey is supposed to represent working class struggles in the face of leering corporate entities who endanger the regular folk like us, and so Pavitr Prabhakar should also function the same way. Pavitr should also be a working class guy of this specific social standing fighting people of this other social standing.

But that takes away the authenticity of Spider-Man India. Looking at him through the Peter Parker lens forces you to look at him through the Western lens, and it significantly lessens what you can do with the character — suddenly, it’s a fight to be heard, to be seen, to be recognised. It’s yelling over each other that Pavitr Prabhakar is this ethnicity, is that caste, this or that, this or that, this or that.

There’s a reason why he’s called Spider-Man India, infuriatingly vague as it is. And that’s the point — the vagueness of his identity fulfils Lee’s purpose for a character that could theoretically be embodied by anyone. If he had been called “Spider-Man Mumbai”, you cut out a majority of the population (and in capitalist terms, you cut out a good chunk of the market).

And in the case of Spider-Man India? Whew — you’ve got about a billion people imagining a billion different versions of him.

Whoever you are, whatever you see in Pavitr, that is what is personal to you, and there is nothing wrong with that, and I will not fault you for it. I will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from Central due to the origins of his last name. I also will not fault you for saying Pavitr is from South due to him practising kalaripayattu. I also will not fault you for saying he is not Hindu. I also will not fault you for saying he is a particular ethnicity without any proof.

What I will fault you for is trying to convince me and the others around you that Pavitr Prabhakar should be this particular ethnicity/have this cultural background because of some specific reason. I literally don’t care and it is fundamentally going against his character, going against the “anyone can wear the mask” sentiment of Spider-Man. By doing this, you are strengthening the walls that first divided us. You’re feeding the stratification and segmentation of our cultures — something that is actually not present in the fictional world of Mumbattan.

Like I said before: Mumbattan isn’t real, so the divides between ethnicities and cultural backgrounds are practically nonexistent. The best thing is that it is visually there for all to see. My favourite piece of evidence is this:

It’s a marquee for a cinema in the Mumbattan sequence, in the “Quick tour: this is where the traffic is” section. It has four titles; the first three are written in Hindi. The fourth title is written in Tamil. You go to Mumbai and you won’t see a single shred of Tamil there, much less any other South Indian language. Seeing this for the first time, you know what went through my head?

Wow, the numerous cultures of India are so intermingled here in Mumbattan! Everyone and everything is welcome!

I was happy, not just because of Tamil representation, but because of the fact that the plethora of Indian cultures are showcased coexisting in such a short sequence. This is India embracing all the little parts that make up its grander identity. This scene literally opened my eyes seeing such beauty in all the diverse cultures thriving together. In a place where language and cultural backgrounds blend so easily, each one complementing one another.

It is so easy to believe that, from this colourful palette of a setting, Pavitr Prabhakar truly is Spider-Man India, no matter where he comes from.

It’s easy to believe that Pavitr can come from any part of India, and I won’t call you out if the origin you have for him is different from the origin I have. You don’t need to stake out territory and stand your ground — you’re entitled to that opinion, and I respect it. In fact, I encourage it!!!

Because there’s only so much you can show in a ten minute segment of a film about a country that has such a vast history and even greater number of cultures. I want to see all of it — I want him to be a Malayali boy, a Hindi boy, a Bengali boy, a Telugu boy, an Urdu boy, whatever!! I want you to write him or draw him immersed in your culture, so that I can see the beauty of your background, the wonderful little things that make your culture unique and different from mine!

And, as many friends have said, it’s so common for Indian folks to be migrating around within our own country. A person with a Maharashtrian surname might end up living in Punjab, and no one really minds that. I’m actually from Karnataka, my family speaks Kannada, but somewhere down the line my ancestors moved to Tamil Nadu and settled down and lived very fulfilling lives. So I don’t actually have the “pure Tamil” upbringing, contrary to popular belief; I’ve gotten a mix of both Kannada and Tamil lifestyles, and it’s made my life that much richer.

So it’s common for people to “not” look like their surname, if that’s what you’re really afraid about. In fact, it just adds to that layer of nuance, that even despite these rigid identities between ethnicities we as Indian people still intermingle with one another, bringing slivers of our cultures to share with others. Pavitr could just as well have been born in one state and moved around the country, and he happens to live in Mumbattan now. It’s entirely possible and there’s nothing to disprove that.

We don’t need to clamber over one another declaring that only one ethnicity is the “right” ethnicity, because, again, you will be looking at Pavitr and the rest of India in that narrow Western lens — a country with such rich cultural variety reduced to a homogenous restrictive way of life.

THE POLL: REINTERPRETED

This whole thing started because I was wondering why my little poll was so skewed — I thought people assumed I was asking them where he came from, then paired his physical appearance with the most logical options available. I thought it was my fault, that I had somehow influenced this outcome without knowing.

Truth is, I will never really know. But I will be thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to finally broach this topic, something that many of us desi folk are hesitant to talk about. I hope you have learned something from this, whether you are desi or a casual Spider-Man fan or someone who just so happened to stumble upon this.

So just…be a little more open. Recognise that India, like many many countries and nations, is made up of a plethora of smaller cultures. And remember, if you’re trying to convince Pavitr that he’s a particular ethnicity, he’s going to wave his hand at you and say, “Ha, me? No, I’m one of the people that live here in the best Indian city! I’m Spider-Man India, dost!”

(Regardless, he still considers you a friend, because to him, the people matter more to him than you trying to box him into something he’s not.)

#long post + more tags that kinda spiral away BUT expand on the points above AND kinda puts everything together concisely #BROS THIS IS AN HONEST TO GOD ESSAY #THAT HAS BEEN COOKING IN MY HEART FOR A WHILE NOW. SIMMERING FOR MONTHS BEFORE FINALLY BOILING OVER IN THE LAST WEEK #genuinely hope you read MOST of it because yes it has Quite A Lot Of Exposition but it all matters nonetheless #put in a lot of thought into this so i expect you to do your part and challenge your thoughts as well #you see how i'm not asking for you to listen to me. but to actually Think. i want you to cook your thoughts and add some spice and flavour #and give it a good mix so you can come out of this a little more wiser than before #because!!! yeah!!!! spider man india is just that!! he's indian!!!!! we don't need to collectively agree on where he comes from #bc it gets rid of that relatability factor of spider man. at the most basic level #think of it as a schrodinger's. he is every single culture and none of them at the same time. therefore none of us are wrong!! sick!!!!#pavitr's first priority is making sure HIS PEOPLE are safe. that's probably as far as we can go that relates him back to peter parker spide #he loves his people and working in the name of justice to FIGHT for HIS PEOPLE is just the duty/responsibility he takes up #it makes sense that he loves everyone and every culture he engages with bc that's the nature of spider man i suppose #if peter parker spidey acts as the guardian for the regular folk.. then in my mind pavitr spidey stands as the bridge uniting the people #because society as its core is very fragmented. and having pavitr act as a connection to other folks.... mmmmm beautiful #that's what i'm talking abouttttt !!!#anyways guys this is literally 3001 words on my document EXCLUDING THE TITLE. THAT'S 7 PAGES AT 11pt FONT. i'm literally cryingggg wtf #pavitr prabhakar #spider man #spider man india #desi #desiblr #atsv #across the spiderverse #atsv pavitr #indian culture #india #desi tumblr #what the fuck do i tag this as #agnirambles

45 notes · View notes

cyberscratch · 10 months

Text

A new ref for Lemmy, and an official design and introduction of Limmy in This Universe Has Lemons In It! Limmy was created by the Guardian of the Lemonverse (any pronouns) as an attempt to stop Lemmy from what they are doing, which is creating portals to travel through various universes and dimensions to have fun. Not only is that a risk for the balance of the universe, but GotL just dislikes this kid having fun and wants to see them stopped.

Not wanting to do it in it's own hands, it created Limmy, an angel dog meant to be an direct opposite to Lemmy. Limmy, however, doesn't do much to stop Lemmy, other than following them and bickering. Their relationship is very Tom and Jerry rivalry-esk.

(Names color coded for myself to read easier due to the similar names!)

Fun fact, Limmy was originally going to be based on limes (Lime Angel), but I kept that concept for GotL - and made them more angel-like instead.

#GotL as he has been named for the time being uses any pronouns but it/he are the most used just saying #also this little story/oc universe has been planned for a while so i find it funny that GotL has basically the same motivations #miguel in across the spiderverse minus the trauma and more godly power #i just always had an fascination with like...the idea of the universe...multiverses...different dimensions and traveling across them #ive included this in most if not all my oc projects like this actually! at first mostly inspired by gravity falls #which is literally my favorite cartoon ever #i am watching a 2 and a half long video on the timeline rn its so good please watch it its by hana hyperfixates. while working on this i #watched their first 2 hour long gravity falls video. literally newest favorite video essay project? its very good it talks about queerness #in gravity falls and its their passion project and its so obvious there was a lot of effort put into it. anyways away from my tangent i go #'lemmy' put my actual tags here #oc art #character design #oc ref #ref #tuhlii #this universe has lemons in it #lemon demon #UNSURE again if i wanna use '-core' tags on this. i dont like using them much anymore and im only gonna use 'weirdcore' for some kind of #music bc theres no specifics to what type of music i exactly like that lemmy is also based on aside from lemon demon of course #[Lemmy]#[Limmy]#guz art #[2023]#fun fact! i spent like 20+ or so minutes stressing over GotL's possible name until i settled on this goofy title!#its meant to found goofy. like at first you think its gonna sound cool and then youre hit with 'lemonverse'#which it...technically is! where lemmy is from it's like... a connected bunch of worlds and universes and just places all based on #lemon demon songs and other content. tuhlii is basically a love letter to ena + lemon demon + old/childhood internet ?

67 notes · View notes

fluffypotatey · 7 months

Note

What are your in depth thoughts about MK’s and Sun Wukong’s vs MK’s and Macaque’s relationships? Because lemme tell you I’ve got so many it’s essay worthy

i saved you for last <3 but i honestly don't know if i can talk about this coherently T^T

short answer: they are on different levels in 2 ways, MK's comfortability and in how they grow

long answer: *inhales*

so you see, there are many levels that are set between the two relationships. and by levels i mean power dynamics, casualness, formalities, respect, and idolization :)

MK and Sun Wukong

with MK and Sun Wukong their relationship began very formal. MK was simply Wukong's student (with a wish to one day be close friends with his mentor/idol), but then by around 1x09, there becomes this shift in their dynamic. in this episode, we do get insight into how far Wukong actually cares for MK because for about most of s1, the monkey keeps his distance while putting up a laid back attitude. but after MK admits to his desire of being "good enough, like [Wukong]," you will notice that Sun Wukong, slowly starts to pull down his walls for MK. he even invites MK to stay over with him for New Years (2x00), despite knowing that it was more likely for MK to leave and celebrate with his friends. (WHICH MK EVEN SAYS BECAUSE BY THIS POINT MK COMES TO REALIZE THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP MIGHT NEVER BREACH INTO THE FRIENDSHIP HE ROMANTICIZED IN HIS HEAD. THUS SHOWING HOW THE TWO ARE DOING A REVERSE IN THEIR DYNAMIC AND- *gets dragged away to calm down*)

as i was saying.

in s2, Wukong ends up leaving to investigate a way to stop LBD before things blow over (which succeeds and fails bc it did, in fact, blow over). he didn't do it because he believed that it would hurt MK. personally, my assumption is that Sun Wukong didn't really see himself as that great of a mentor and that MK had been able to quickly pick up on new moves and techniques without much help from him, and with that thought, he believed that by leaving MK nothing but scrolls and a goal, MK would still be capable of mastering the new skills (which he did, thereby reinforcing that idea). but unfortunately, our beloved monkey king forgot that while MK is a very capable individual of incredible power, he's not confident in himself. he's simply "just loud" about himself and his prowess (which, if you noticed, MK grew even more quieter about this in seasons 2 & 3....fascinating).

so now there's this manufactured push to bring back their previous formality because Wukong is not completely ready to tell MK the truth despite how much he cares and trusts him (because, and this is my opinion, Wukong really wants to ensure that MK is not too involved in something as dangerous as LBD because she can get into your head and she can make matters worse for everybody). said manufactured push confuses MK because they had come so far from 1x01 and the distance they had before. sure, it's not as close as s3 and s4, but it definitely felt like they were at the cusp of something. this leaves MK sort of in his own limbo on where he stands with the Monkey King, and even if he sought advice about this with his friends, none of them have met the guy yet and can only make opinions based on their assumptions of what they feel like is going on (*cough, cough* Pigsy *cough, cough*).

and even after s2, in s3 Wukong is exhausted, a lot of his power depleted, and has to try and mingle civilly with MK's friends on a mission he originally planned to do alone (a suicidal mission to obtain the Samadhi Fire, if i might add). his reasoning for refusing at the beginning is because they are mortals, which MK misinterprets to mean that Wukong does not think MK can handle this mission and wants to prove himself.

omg their relationship is so complicated and messy T^T i love it

anyway, MK's and Sun Wukong's relationship is a push and pull between both people wanting to uphold and prove their worth to the other (Wukong lying to keep MK ignorant of a danger the monkey plans to eradicate in secret VS MK pushing himself into becoming powerful in order to prove himself as someone swk sees as worthy to trust). also, their dynamic is literally a platonic slow burn that slowly brings them closer and closer with s4 beginning with them (swk mostly lol) trying to be more honest and upfront about their thoughts and feelings. and s4 ending with the two actually fighting for each other and protecting each other and fighting WITH each other and T^T it's so beautiful. but also because their dynamic is a slow burn, that provides ample time to seed in doubt and insecurities and wanting to bottle up your issues to keep the peace and-

ugh T^T them <3

(side note: the actual timeline of this show is a tad confusing to me. how long was s1? a month, a couple months, a week? how long was s2? how long is the gap between seasons???? idk and i've tried to find something feasible to work with but i'm mostly just taking an "academic" estimation)

but now onto Macky and MK's relationship!

Mackenzie and MK

this one despite how rocky it looks is not a slow burn dynamic. it's got a fun roller coaster of levels because it goes "secret mentor/student" to "enemies" to "frenemies?" to "morally dubious but is actually a softie" to "potential mentor 2.0???" and i love it.

so, MK and Macky's dynamic begins in 1x09 (the blessed episode) since that's Mackackle's introduction to the show and MK begins to train under him in secret because MK is frustrated with swk's teaching methods. through the brief montage of MK's training, i can't help but notice the words and phrasing Macky uses:

Mackarell: [sounding disappointed] Not bad...[chuckles] [in a mocking tone] don't get me wrong, but I was expecting a little more with someone of your power. MK: [is defensive] H-hey, I've got more- I can give way more than that! [sighs] I can do better. Macaroni: [bemused] Kay, maybe show me next time.

ok, honestly, i just wanna talk about this. because if you heard it without seeing Marconi's face and how they animated him, you could side-step the the fake disappointment and mocking tone. what he's saying on the surface, isn't anything malicious or cruel. he is acting like a mentor and it appears like he is trying to encourage MK so he can stop hesitating. but that's not what Mac's really doing.

he is acting disappointed in MK because MK has a need to prove himself. the scene before MK meets Macaque, he is with Wukong and is frustrated by how slow his training is. he knows he can do some pretty powerful moves if his mentor allowed him to, if only he can prove to him that he can level up from the "baby stuff", if only he could have someone see that potential and train him in something more his "style." how convenient that right after he vents his frustrations MK encounters exactly what he wants, but oh no, they're disappointed in his strength and prowess, he has to prove that wrong, he CAN prove that wrong.

see where i'm going? MK fell for Macky's web, hook-line-and-sinker because it was tailor made for him. BUT! this mentor/student dynamic does not last very long. and that's mostly because it never a long term relationship in the slightest. Macky always planned to use MK's powers for his own, so now the two are slotted into the enemies level. they were never on equal ground like MK thought, or even on a similar mentor/student level MK has with Wukong. Macaquack absolutely abused that dynamic for his own gain and MK lost his trust for it.

MK cannot trust Macky, why should he? in s2, MK and Macky's relationship is mostly antagonistic because Mk cannot trust Mac and Mac enjoys tormenting the guy by hanging his insecurities over him. they are not on equal ground. Mac only sees MK as some mortal child who is in over his head and thinks he can be a Wukong 2.0 while MK sees Mac as someone who betrayed his trust, tried to kill him and his mentor and it is very personal.

but then there's this interesting choice made by lmk. Mac warns MK of an upcoming danger. why does he do it? he had just proven that he is an enemy! but also, he ends up freeing MK's friends on the basis that it "wasn't fun anymore". why take pity (should we even call it pity) on MK enough to tell him that "big things are coming"?

why choose to give MK some (very vague) advice about what's to come? what caused Macky to decide to offer this information?

well, 1st it is clearly the writers' way of showing that there is more than meets the eye with Macky. this is a little indicator for the audience about "hey! keep an eye on him! he's more complex than you think! he's more than a stock villain!" 2nd, this is the very first push into Mac's more amiable relationship with MK.

in s3, Macky is under LBD's command and has to follow her orders or else she might send him back to the Diyu either by ripping his soul from his body, or encasing him in ice/bone. he is only on her side to survive. he doesn't even plan to stay. instead, it really looks like Mac wants to escape from her hold (which he eventually plans out after learning about the gang's mission to find the Rings of Samadhi).

when it comes to MK, Mac is very antagonistic. @shadowpeachyuri made a really great analysis on Macky's antagonistic behavior in s3. especially in 3x04 where he taunts and mocks MK for his self worth and powers, but he's also stalling from his own mission in retrieving MK for LBD. most of s3 is him stalling and picking fights with people rather than do his own job. not to mention, that he purposefully separated MK and Wukong believing it would be easier to retrieve them. but why all the stalling and hesitation? because he's upset with his circumstances, and wants to take out on everyone? yeah, that's definitely part of it.

still in s3 Mac is not trying to befriend MK, he's not trying to help him either, but he also isn't truly trying to catch him. his main objective is getting out of dodge, escaping and finding somewhere that is far from here. yet, he can't help but challenge MK into using his powers, offer some (very biased and skewed) advice on who the guy should trust. and it's not until "Embrace Your Destiny" when his on-again and off-again mood finally gets to MK because he saved MK, he brought MK to Mei and he gave them the Not-Mayor guy for information.

just...this whole exchange T^T

Mackardy: Look, I brought you the Lady Bone Demon's lapdog, but I'm not up for being a hero, kid.

here lies, Macky trying to tell MK that he is not on his side. he has been constantly antagonistic and while LBD is also his enemy, he was planning to just give MK and his gang enough help for them to plan out how to defeat her.

MK: We don't need you to beat him. We just need you to keep him busy. As long as he's [Monkey King] under her control the Mech's vulnerable. We can do this! You can do this.

enter MK, looking at Macky with such optimism and arguing back at Macky with the guy's own logic. it won't be a battle to try and defeat Wukong, Macky just has to "keep him busy". Stall, like he's been doing for all of s3. and he sprinkles in a bit more optimism and encouragement to sweeten the deal.

Macaroon: Nice speech, kid but it's not gonna- MK: [frustrated growl] STOP! You keep playing at being this bad guy, acting like you're just in it for you! But I know deep, deep down: you're not that guy. Help us. Make it right. Macadoodle: I'm not a hero, bud MK: Then be a warrior!

personally, i feel like this is the moment where the two's new dynamic begins. also, Macky and MK's relationship feels a but more on equal footing. neither of them hold a pedestal or an image of who they are. MK is able to figure out that a lot of Macky's outward appearance is just that, an appearance. and Macky is able to see that MK isn't some Wukong 2.0 he imagined up in his head in s1. MK is the Monkey King's successor but he is also his own person who will and has made different decisions than Wukong.

after s3, their dynamic is very similar to mentor/student in 4x10, but not in the same way as in 1x09. Macky isn't trying to be manipulative or play with double meanings, he's actually trying to help and figured a video game rpg would be the best bet since MK likes video games. MK is able to snap back at Macky and isn't afraid of showing the monkey his worries and fears (something he's struggling to with Wukong and vice versa) because Macky has seen that side of him already.

idk it's fascinating. i feel like i'm repeating myself a lot, but my main takeaway is that MK and Wukong have a slow burn friendship that began with formalities and over the seasons, they gradually grew closer and more comfortable with admitting that they care about each other (mostly Wukong needed this help but it's ok). and MK and Macky's relationship though began as enemies, grew into 2 characters who view each other as equals by the end and respect ach other loads.

there be my thoughts *jazz hands*

#lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk mk #lmk sun wukong #lmk six eared macaque #lmk qi xiaotian #lmk meta #lmk analysis #lmk sunburst duo #lmk soysauce duo #sunburst duo #soysauce duo #bestie i am so sorry it took me this long to finish your answer T^T #i was saving it for last just so i could take my time with it but may have forgotten that my actual time to write all of this was limited #anyway #this was a lot of fun to discuss #you are absolutely free to tell me your thoughts!#i wanna know your essay worthy thoughts profa ;-;#also i single out pigsy at some point here but it's mostly bc besides all of swk's enemies he's the biggest critic of swk who's close to MK #his reasons for being upset at the guy are beCAUSE he unintentionally hurt MK and essentially neglected the guy in his eyes #however: he is an extremely harsh and biased critic not even bothering to hear the other side bc of his distrustful nature & protectiveness #once pigsy somes to a conclusion you will need to provide some solid evidence to back up your argument WHICH WUKONG ALMOST NEVER DOES #the grind for meta is real but so is my commitment to the bit :3 #you will never find me spelling mackadoo's name right unless it's for fic #also i think i my macky analysis might be a tad off bc i kept repeating myself so sorry about that T^T #jfc this took me 3 days ;A;#enjoyed every bit of it #asks

41 notes · View notes

sincerelyandyourstruly · 2 months

Text

shame, devotion, and venxiao

it is not a sin to want.

yet somehow, there is such shame to it.

maybe it's just me, but "desire" is such a loaded word. i think that's why i find it so difficult to deal with. to want something so earnestly, from so deep within one's heart… how is that not simply THE most mortifying thing on the planet?

it's kind of funny. xiaoven— though most particularly xiao— must come to terms with their selfish desires that are not going to go away n be vulnerable w/each other abt their ugliest selves in order to be accepted n truly loved, at which point shame loses its incredible power over them, and they can be together forever in love for realsies.

because it's easy to imagine a xiao, who, out of love and devotion towards venti, his savior and the god of freedom, might feel like he can only express the sheer depth of his emotions by tugging down the stiff collar of his shirt to bare his own neck for execution.

(that is how one feels towards a god, is it not? this sort of vulnerability, a willingness to die for them, born from a desire to be good.)

and i use the imagery of undressing and invoke the sense of waiting for someone else's actions upon you intentionally here. it ties xiao's sense of intimacy up with power over his life, and as a being who struggles to separate his very sense of self from violence itself, i think it would make sense that death and intimacy are linked to him.

i think a big reason why he's so reluctant to give up his duty to someday die quelling demons for the peace and prosperity of liyue is because he's afraid that wanting something, anything might break the centuries of rigid discipline that's kept him alive after all this time. to love something, to want something, is to then die for it.

and like. i think it's pretty obvious that venti would not want to hold that power over xiao, if xiao tried to express his love by essentially giving over his entire life into venti's hands. it's so lacking in boundaries on xiao's end that even if that's what xiao himself wants, it would ultimately be the most horrifying (yet still earnest!!!) show of devotion to venti.

and so. it's probably fairly obvious from all this that this push-n-pull of desires is part of what makes xiao n venti's relationship so compelling to me personally. they're arguing abt things that are so deeply a part of them: xiao's self-destructive obedience vs. venti's bleeding heart and ideal of freedom. it's kind of... dare i say... yaoi.

obviously, in the context of fandom, there is a difference btwn xiaoven and venxiao. like, technically it's about top and bottom discourse, but outside of nsfw contexts, it's more about power dynamics, about who follows and who leads in a relationship.

i tend not to care too much, since i get weirded out if it feels too… overt? controlling? one-sided? n it starts feeling like the characters are just becoming bastardized "Any Two Guys."

but, like, as may be obvious by the common ship name being xiaoven, fandoms typically have a preference. it makes sense— xiao is v physically strong, n he has this very curt, no-nonsense, straightforward way of doing things, while venti is usually mistaken for a girl by people new to genshin. in concept, it could be fun to see xiao lead a more uncertain venti around n be the more decisive, aggressive pursuer of the relationship.

HOWEVER. relationships are based in feelings n are therefore much more human things. that is definitely not smth xiao is familiar with or experienced in at all. that is venti's area of expertise.

n xiao is a character i like to characterize by his devotion n his obedience. he's not the type to come up w/a procedure for acting in situations where he is totally unfamiliar w/what's happening bc his procedure will probably be aggressive "hit it 'till it dies." in situations involving others, he can't do that, so he's left pretty helpless in situations all about ~feelings~ and stuff.

now, venti is the more human one, in the sense that he has a much greater understanding of how we chase our whims on the breeze. he knows how to navigate these kinds of emotional, dare i say intimate, situations— which is why xiao would look to him for guidance in navigating these things. he wants to be told what to do bc he is a weapon, a violent tool w/no agency of his own (or at least as he likes to think).

xiao's repression is very internalized. he knows he is someday doomed, so why bother letting himself want anything. (why dare to hope when he doesn't believe himself worthy of venti's love in return?)

despite the horrifying levels of devotion i believe xiao to be capable of, i also firmly believe that he can later learn to rein in the self-destructive aspects of it w/o diminishing the value of those feelings. there's something oh-so lovely about self-love taught through loving others and others loving you, about watching something self-destructive and dangerous fall victim in love to something that can withstand its horrors and love it anyway, love it enough to make destroying itself no longer feel worth it.

after all, one of the most romantic answers one could give to the old, "i would die for you" absolutely has to be, "we are going to make it out of this together."

and in my opinion, that's pretty venxiao.

#xiaoven #i've been agonizing over how to adapt this for tumblr bc it was originally a diary entry from almost two years ago now #but it's kind of a prerequisite reading for one of my fave xv essays; the one abt 'no switch' that i've been wanting to xpost for MONTHS #the other reason this one's been crazy hard to adapt is bc i built it off a bit of unpublished fic i was working on actively at the time #but i'm not abt to analyze my own unpublished fic here on tumblr for meta so i had to extricate it (difficult)#long post #this post is still kind of all over the place which makes sense. i'm very all over the place and its origins as a diary entry #obvs make it very personal. and also subsequently all over the place. hopefully i balanced the personal aspects properly

15 notes · View notes

brittlebutch · 7 days

Text

finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it

#N posts stuff #like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid #but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being #it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent #in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are #the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change #to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the #'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways #throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and #so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of #other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she #understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem #if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict #there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping #them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with #things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the #depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers #i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily #write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability #for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of #saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol

8 notes · View notes

basket-of-radiants · 14 days

Note

Ok hi!!!! I love all your takes on the characters and it's rlly interesting! I also think moash is a very nuanced and fascinating character. I'm kinda mad at him after he tried to convince Kal to k!ll himself but I think he's a great charcter with lots of depth and your pinned post was so interesting because it said so much about moash! Anyway sorry bye!!!

Hello!!! Thank you!! I apologize for inflicting that post on you, but I'm glad you read/enjoyed it! ty for letting me know <3<3<3

#i pinned it kinda as a joke but also bc i'd keep getting sent moash hate from new followers #and while there are many places in this fandom that are receptive to that. i am not really one of them.#man remember when i read ob in 2017 and liked it and so came onto the internet to draw characters from it w/ no knowledge of this fandom #i wasn't a moash-poster back then (all szeth all the time baby) but i was shocked by how everyone talked about one of my fav characters #these days there are plenty of people here who like him but back then i felt like i had to claw out a space for myself to discuss him #largely just felt that the kind of hate he got was counterproductive to any deeper discussions or critiques of the narrative #of course in present that essay mostly serves as a barrier to entry for new people following my blog #because the real question of course is how you guys keep finding me #it's sort of a ''come for the silly drawing you saw somewhere‚ stay for the erratic and long-winded discourse'' kind of vibe #anyway. always nice and flattering to meet new people. sorry i don't post much here anymore.#i make up for it how much i ramble in the tags tho

14 notes · View notes

bardkin · 8 months

Text

been doing some internal questioning that boils down to “is it the auADHD or i am plural in some way???”

and i’m. not sure if i want to know the answer. at least not yet.

#ensiger #possibly plural #this post is brought to you by a monoconscious culture post that hit a lot harder than i thought it would #'wait how long have i been me. when did i stop being the other guy'#also a lot of the Dragonheart Collective's essay points in Dissociation. & internal thought voice.#the only point in Identity disturbances that really hit was -#Feeling like you weren't born in that body & that you simply appeared one day inside of it.#like. i sometimes feel like ''I'' is more than one internally.#like i'm One Person in the way a cartoon character can be animated/storyboarded by multiple artists.#does that make sense as like?? a plural thing???#or is that just the depersonalization & bees in my brain??#also that like. the 'current me' stepped into my body & 'replaced' whoever used to be here. i have (most) of my memories & shit but just.#i'm not totally sure if this is a 'i have grown and changed since i was a child' or 'i'm a different person in every sense of the word.'#i kind of stewed on this questioning a couple years(?) ago when i was first learning about multiplicity. but nothing ever really came of it #bc digging further into it didn't feel useful. all the stuff i was reading didn't feel like it was lining up with what's going on in here #i've recently been doing some reading on monoconscious & median systems but.#i don't want to act on anything until i Know. or at least until i Know More.#also i'm about 90% sure my kintypes are not headmates/alters/etc. they feel like / similar to my gender & not. ''extra Me's'' so to speak

26 notes · View notes

maskedchip · 7 months

Text

yknow at this point i have drawn so many images i can draw pretty fast now. i think that's the best outcome after years of tormenting over how slow of an artist i was. mainly bc i really had no idea what i was doing, so i would spend HOURS on just a full-body character design or something of the like. of course all the practice and time spent studying anatomy or color makes things easy now (also obsession but we already know about all that)

i think its hard to learn that not all your art is precious and by that i mean of course u cant create masterpieces in a day and shouldnt torment over not being able to get something right the first time. the silly doodles all count towards something. i joke about having perpetual wips but i think my favorite thing is saving past ideas and reworking them later just to see how they changed. bc art, like people, is so dynamic. constantly changing.

and the best feeling is making the art u imagined years ago come to life or you get a bit closer to producing the work that you saw in your head. mmmmm growth.

#i think it took years of pain and frustration and i still feel uneasy about my art but i aim to improve always so i think thats a good thing #like these days i dont really care about quality or what the people will like. i just draw whatever idea and post for funsies #and i want to be able to do that for a long time 😭#all my vent post are about art bc i dont wanna be too personal online LOL but I FEEL BAD I JUST HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF IMPOSTER SYNDROME #SORRY #but yea i read every tag and the essay length ones always make me happy like thank you. <3 for simply looking at my art. it means a lot #im at a weird part of my life sorry if i get all sentimental and wistful i just. woa. art 🧍‍♂️

23 notes · View notes

fuckmeyer · 11 months

Note

hey bestie i'm finally here with that essay about jacob fighting for bella's humanity w/o being a love interest bc the potential that has! he's set up to be the perfect avenue for it! he's the warmth and sun that she loved from arizona; he's the community and family she could be deeply enmeshed in w/ charlie and billy; he's a childhood friend who grew up (which bella's going to lose the potential to do if she becomes a vampire! and she's going to forget that past!); he's someone who fixes up old damaged cars instead of having perfect ones, and they aren't the *same* but they're still good...he's literally thematically everything best abt being human that bella will lose, AND examples of the negatives she sees in humanity, (all the times she thinks abt how the wolves are fragile in comparison to the vampires)...and it would just be SO fascinating to see that played out w/out the romance. it would honestly be even more powerful! bc baked into smeyer's worldbuilding is that vampires prioritize their romantic partners above everything else and having jacob be the true contrast to that where he's a platonic connection that bella genuinely values equally and she has to think abt how becoming a vampire would cut her off from the potential of connections like that!!! i am thinking so many thoughts

BESTIE thank you as always for dropping the Jacob love in my inbox!

you're so right about Jacob being the perfect avenue to explore Bella's doubt about vampirism! the warmth & family & community & LOVE & acceptance & nostalgia she loves about humanity is all embodied in Jacob's character & in their relationship. she likes hand-me-downs & homemade gifts! she likes acts of service! she likes reckless stunts that remind her of her own fragility & weakness! she likes warm sodas & spaghetti dinners! she likes being reminded that she belongs somewhere! & THIS IS JACOB <3

the fact that their relationship isn't utilized to this end (or any end, really) is my biggest problem with Eclipse. Bella drops little hints in the narrative that she's nervous about becoming a vampire. there are so many opportunities— e.g. when Rose tells her story— for her to reflect on what she's giving up.

in the end, she doesn't sum up the argument in a compelling way & doesn't make her choice in a believable way.

in part because the event that kicks off her grand realization that she's not ready (AKA THE CONFLICT OF HER ENTIRE SERIES ARC) is ...graduation

big life event as a catalyst seems to make sense. but how relevant is it to her narrative? & once it's brought up, we don't we see her digging into why she's nervous. what about saying goodbye makes her not ready? what about getting what she wants terrifies her? what does she need to sort through? what plans does she need to make? we're left to wonder what's running through Bella's mind re: the biggest decision of the series...in a first person narrative. no!!!

Jacob, who embodies all these ideals of her humanity, should be the one to push her to this realization. the climax of her internal conflict should be focused around him: losing him physically/emotionally (or both), & everything he represents. there is so much weight that her relationship with Jacob adds to her choice if she's allowed to love him and Edward unconditionally! as a romantic interest, all Jacob's doing is pushing her away.

(& that's why this whole fucking triangle makes no sense. he loves her so much he remembers her from early childhood. he loves her so much he'll sit there for months & pick up her broken pieces. he loves her so much he'll spend every moment just doing silly little hobbies together. he loves her so much he wants to fight for her humanity "until her heart stops beating" AND EVEN AFTER. but he doesn't love her enough to respect her choices or opinions? he doesn't love her enough to know that by being an asshole, he's pushing her closer to death? imo this is where we see stephie's grubby hands moving pieces. Jacob loves her more than he's in love with her.)

& so, because the "i'm not ready" realization is tied to something Bella doesn't give a shit about, the realization that she is ready is equally empty

what makes her decide she's ready to become a vampire is GUILT & FEAR & ANGUISH. she's "ready" to become a vampire because she feels weak & useless. worse, this realization is not touched on as the event (the training sesh) unfolds. she has this realization OFF-PAGE & then shows up to Edward's proposal like "yeah i'm ready to become a vampire but first i wanna fuck :)"

& we're supposed to buy that? girl, you resolved nothing internally. you didn't show us what changed for you. you're making this decision out of fear instead of out of love. & we're supposed to believe this is what little miss "thoughtful & responsible" wants???

it's such a blatant disregard to all the growth she went through & the relationships she developed. you can't just turn Jacob in a fucking asshole & turn the choice into a non-choice & call it day. Jacob deserves better, Bella deserves better, & the readers deserve better!!

MAKE 👏 EVERYONE 👏 SUFFER👏👏👏

(in the name of love!)

#i am WINDED from this post but youre so right and i just want to shout it from the rooftops #you are my ultimate bestie in crime #thank you for the essay #it's so carthartic to talk about & iron out what's wrong with jacobs charcter #bc its so nebulous right #was he assassinated? were his traits in NM simply blown out of proportion? how much flak does he deserve & how much grace should we give hi #tbh even after all i dont think most of rhe fandom realizes just how dirty jacob was done #i just witnessed a discord server convo the other day abt how people who think jacobs charcterization is racist is SUS #LIKE!!!! IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING AMERICAN LIT you would know jacobs charcterization #follows a LONG pattern of anti-native sterotypes in lit-#ok ok ok im not getting on that now i will literally never leave this post #but STILL the boy is just not given enough grace and nuance in this fandom tbh #so to talk about it here with a fanfic master like yourself is a BREATH a fresh air #in conclusion: i love you

29 notes · View notes