#babysitting… there exist children with whom I could handle it?

[dusk-realm]

Chrysanthemum [Chapter 7: The Snape Girl]

Tagging: @severussnapesupporter @featurelengthfics

A/N: don’t be afraid to tell me if you want to be tagged!

Missed out the previous chapters? No problemo! Read them here.

Diagon Alley felt totally different with no kids running up and down excitedly shopping their supplies for their first year at school, no pushing, no rushing, and the shops were almost empty. A soft murmur of common shoppers substituted the usual hustle and bustle of the end of August, when everyone ran up and down to get their materials in the last minute.

The bell tinkled, announcing a customer’s arrival at Flourish & Blotts. The dark figure was too hyperfixated on the never-ending bookcases to return the manager’s polite greeting. The young female that accompanied him, however, gave the owner an apologetic look while bowing her head a little.

The two clients quickly parted ways after their arrival, clearly saying a No, I don’t need help, thanks, before the question could be uttered.

The owner observed them in amusement: the man was Professor Snape, that was clear. He was a rather frequent client, after all. But the girl? The manager didn’t recall seeing her around. Perhaps she was a relative? They shared some manners, though, despite the lack of resemblance: they roamed around opposite bookshelves, sticking their noses to the engraving of the book spines, sometimes feeling them with a soft caress of their fingertips.

The teenager looked much more amicable than the Professor, who looked quite cross at the moment.

Severus glared skeptically at the letter he was holding, as if the paper was mocking him. Magical Me, it said. Worst of all, there was an entire series of books below it, all by Gilderoy Lockhart. He was an extremely famous and prolific author, dedicating his works to dark creatures and his own encounters. For Severus Snape, however, the writer wasn’t more than an attention-seeker with too many pretensions.

The master turned around for a moment and searched for (Y/N) with his gaze.

She was looking through some thick book she had found.

He glared at the title again, trying to rationalise why Dumbledore would want to hire such a jock. The Dark Arts are not something anyone can meddle with. The Dark Arts are constantly evolving, contorting in unbeknownst ways to the world, finding their own path like a water stream flowing through the mountain, softly carving its own imprint on the solid rock. Many can’t even begin to grasp the scope and twisted power of the existent, some of which are able to uncanny such suffering that would make the most powerful wizard plead for death on his knees. There was no possible way for a moron like Lockhart to even begin to fathom the essence of dark magic.

Severus felt a light tap on his shoulder. It was (Y/N), who grinned at the pile of books he held.

‘I didn’t know you were into adventure books, professor.’ She snidely commented. Snape’s lips imitated her gesture as he nearly dropped the whole collection into the girl’s arms.

‘These are for you, my sweet girl. Enjoy, you can thank me later.’ (Y/N) stared at his evil expression in disbelief. Her smile had completely faded, and her eyes had rounded up.

‘You’re messing with me.’ (Y/N) protested, standing on her tip-toes to check out the list. Snape glared down at her, clearly enjoying the situation way too much. The professor added more and more books to the initial pile, he observed it stagger under its own weight until his pupil complained:

‘Se-ve-rus!’ She whisper-yelled, peeking from above the books, ‘can you stop?’

‘What, too many words together? How are you going to babysit Longbottom if you can’t handle a couple of books?’ He mocked.

‘Very funny,’ she spat back, ‘ by the way, I don’t want a potions textbook, I did well with your notes only.’

Snape nodded stiffly. She was absolutely right, she actually did better than any of those incompetent snotty-nosed children he usually had to teach.

‘You did well even missing the ingredients listed in the letter. Never seen before. I believe you’ll be fine.’

(Y/N) giggled softly. She had done well by only sticking to the instructions that Snape usually provided and taking plenty of notes. The rest of the students tended to rely too much on their books, so everything went downhill the moment they stopped paying attention to Professor Snape. In contrast, her grades went up like foam as soon as she stopped trying to rely on textbooks, even the ones she borrowed from the library. 

‘You helped me a great deal, though. I wouldn’t have been able to brew anything if you hadn’t slid on my desk the ingredients I needed,’ (Y/N) stared at Severus’ black eyes. They had never spoken about this out loud, ‘do you remember my first class? I didn’t even have a cauldron, I thought that you’d cut me into pieces and throw me into some boiling potion. ’

Of course he remembered that.

It was Friday, so they had dedicated the first period to the theory and the second would consist on brewing a Cure for Boils.

The potion was so simple, and this class so bothersome and noisy thanks to a couple of pranksters that Professor Snape had decided not to pair them up for the activity. The instructions were on the blackboard and the theory had been already explained, so he sat down on his desk and began reading while the students grabbed their cauldrons and prepared the ingredients they needed.

The noise died down soon, and instead, the cauldrons began simmering softly.

(Y/N) looked around the classroom with a knot in the pit of her stomach. Some students were counting their snake fangs, whereas the most advanced ones were waving their wands above their mixture. Her gaze dropped again to her own desk, which didn’t have a cauldron. Had Snape noticed? Apparently not, because he was still reading. Either that or he didn’t care, which was fairly probable judging by the aura he gave off. The distressed student gazed around again, as if someone could have a spare cauldron she could use. But no.

She had to tell Snape.

Slowly, her small hand raised above her head. God, never in her life had she been so unwilling to talk to a teacher, but there was no way she could get anything done in Potions without a cauldron.

A few of the girls chuckled softly from behind; (Y/N) gently swayed her hand in an attempt to call the professor’s attention, but to no avail.

Gathering up all the courage she could, the first year got up from her seat and walked towards the front desk, which elicited a few murmurs and some mocking gasps. That seemed to bother Snape, because his head jolted up and growled:

‘You don’t need an open mouth to brew, keep it shut.’

The class resumed the task on cue, not desiring to upset the teacher. They left the scolding to (Y/L/N), on whom the piercing glare of the master laid upon.

‘Professor, I don’t have a cauldron.’ She muttered sheepishly. She couldn’t keep her eyes on Snape’s, his expression was too terrifying. (Y/N) stared at her hands instead, which found comfort gently fiddling with one another.

The teacher raised an eyebrow and straightened up. He then put the book aside and rested his palms on the desk.

‘Miss (Y/L/N), didn’t it say in your letter, quite clearly, that a pewter cauldron was compulsory material for the course?’ He inquired in a low yet severe voice.

The young student quivered under the professor’s gaze.

‘Yes professor, it did.’ She answered sheepishly. (Y/N) avoided looking at him in the eyes at all costs, feeling that if she did, she’d just start crying. And everyone knew that Snape could get really nasty.

‘Then why do you show up to my class without the necessary material?’ He spat.

His low voice was even more frightening than if he was shouting, but at least nobody else could hear the conversation. (Y/N) didn’t say anything. What did he expect to hear? No, professor, I couldn’t afford it? Snape would probably expel her right away. The first year bit her lip, the chair creaked against the floor. Professor Snape bent over the desk, inching so close to her face that he could probably bump his nose against her face.

‘Did… you... not… hear me?’

(Y/N)’s head sank even more, again, not answering until the man desisted and sat back down. Her big shiny (E/C) eyes rose to look at the bitter man, who mumbled:

‘There are spare cauldrons in the storage room. Keep hands off anything else.’

The memory faded away like ink in water. In front of him, there was a slightly more grown version of that scared child that had the nerve to approach him in class.

‘Tell me, do you remember that?’ She asked softly, and with a smile tugging at her lips instead of tears threatening to roll down her cheeks.

‘Of course I remember,’ he croaked; his eyes glittered in a strange manner, ‘tell me, what were you looking at before?’ Severus asked in a soft voice.

‘Ah, nothing, it was a book about magical creatures, it includes etymology and all and myths and even some of the properties of their body parts and secretions.’ She probably didn't, but Severus noticed how she had gotten slightly carried away talking about the book, and without a word, he went to fetch it and added it to the pile of textbooks. It was the thickest on the shelf, so he didn’t even need to ask which one it was.

‘Uh… What are you doing?’ She whispered. Severus pushed her towards the counter.

‘Don't you want it?’

‘Yes, I mean, no, it's expensive and I don't need it for-’

‘Shh, it’s just a book.’

‘But-’ But she couldn't continue to protest, the cashier interrupted them with his cheerful attitude.

‘Good morning, Professor!’ he greeted, (Y/N) thought that he couldn't smile more even if he tried, which was funny in contrast with Snape's dryness, ‘it's been a while, eh? I have some interesting titles coming this October, I thought you'd like to know…’ he talked and talked while wrapping up the books in brown paper, ‘buying your books for Hogwarts, sweetie? Isn’t it a little soon? I didn’t know you had a daughter, Professor.’ He said in a mellow tone.

Severus and his newly found daughter averted their eyes in shock, but the master only dropped the correspondent coins on the other man’s hand, turned around dramatically muttering a Keep the change and left the shop with a very hasty (Y/N) following close.

‘Severuuus,’ she moaned, ‘don’t leave your beautiful daughter behind!!’

#hp #potterhead #severus snape #snape community #snapedom #fanfic #pro-snape #harry potter #fanfiction #pro snape #severus snape x reader #reader insert #xreader #severus x reader #slytherin #hogwarts #snape x reader #chrysanthemum #flourish and blotts

[star-crossedfidelity]

Juliet’s Story: A Mistress’s Gift

Mun!Yuki: It is now April 20th for me! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JULIET!!!! I’m honestly happy with how this story turned out. Because while Leon’s story was more of his optimism, This is mostly in-depth of Juliet’s character where I even explored writing different sides of her; Sides that she doesn’t even show to others except for Leon. This is now my chance to show more of Juliet’s character, and how this affects Juliet as she grew up; Unlike Hisoka, Juliet was born and raised with a normal childhood, without having to bear the responsibilities of being an heiress to the Kuroi family. PLUS THIS WAS LITERALLY 16 PAGES LONG! XD I’M HONESTLY PROUD OF THIS! 

I hope you all enjoy! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SADISTIC MISTRESS!!!!!! XD

WARNING: THIS HAS SENSITIVE TOPICS SUCH AS BULLYING, STRONG LANGUAGE/SWEARING, VIOLENCE, AND ANGST!!!!

“Here you go, Jules!”

Juliet reached for her order from the Takoyaki stand. “Thanks, Kirishima.” She gave the man, Kirishima, the payment before enjoying her Takoyaki. “Anything for a regular! How’s your folks?” Kirishima asked. “They’re doing fine; Leon is in the process of recovering this year’s Prank.” Juliet replied as she continued to eat her Takoyaki. “Man, I heard about that; I feel bad for the guy, he’s such a good kid.” Juliet simply agreed, “Yup.”

Then there came the question.

“Hey, I don’t mean to get personal when I ask this, but isn’t your birthday coming soon?” The owner asked. “Yeah, on the 20th; About four days before my father’s.” Juliet stopped eating her Takoyaki as she sensed this conversation might become important.

“What do you wanna get for you birthday?”

Juliet looked at him questioningly. “Why do you ask?” She eyed suspiciously. “Because you’ve done so much for my family, not only have you come to our business so often as a regular, you also help babysitting the kids. Seriously, most babysitters would quit on the first day with them, but they really like you, and you even present yourself as a good example and actually take care of them.”

Juliet continued to eye him suspiciously, which made the man laugh. “I know, you rather cut your own tongue than to be assumed to be a softie; Don’t worry, I’m not assuming that considering the fact I know you and what you are capable of; But that still won’t stop my family and I from speaking fondly of you, unlike the others that think otherwise; You’re not a bad kid.”

Juliet’s blue orbs soften from the better understanding. 

It’s true.

When she was 12 years old and was ordering a Takoyaki as a regular already, Juliet noticed the tension from the man, whom explained that a new babysitter quit last minute and they became worried as their children were rather wild. At the time Juliet needed money and something to do to get out of the house other than physical training and studying all day indoors, was already being homeschooled so there was no school rules applied to her about against having a job on the side, and had a lot of experience taking care of Leon growing up, so she offered to be their new babysitter. They were hesitant, but since they had no other choice, they accepted. After the first night, it was difficult at first, but Juliet ended up having them listen and do as she said. In the end, The Kirishima’s hired Juliet as their babysitter, resulting them to be good family friends, and now their children, for what ever reason, loved and admired her greatly; It was probably because Juliet refrained showing her sadistic traits and posed as the reliable big sister that she sincerely has been when pushing aside her playfulness, resembling her father when he took care of her uncles.

“So? Any ideas? It can be anything.” 

Juliet looked up at him and sighed. “I haven’t thought about it, to be honest; When I do, I’ll tell you though.” The raven-haired sadist commented, “I have to get going. My brother will be getting out of school soon, and I want to walk with him so we can find a present for Father.”

“Hahaha! Well, I wish you both the best of luck! Your dad must be really lucky to have you guys as his kids! Not a lot of kids would go out of their way for their parents.”

Juliet nodded and waved goodbye silently with Takoyaki in her mouth, while Kirishima waved back with his usual jovial grin.

Some time past by once she made it to her brother’s school. School may have already ended but they were all probably in the middle of cleaning duty. Not wanting to let her Takoyaki go to waste, Juliet continued to eat it with a delighted look upon her face as she waited. God, there was nothing that tasted better than-

....

‘Huh...’

After swallowing one of the octopus balls, Juliet stared down at the remaining Takoyaki at it.

While it was true that Juliet normally didn’t like strong-flavored things, it was odd that that fact was contradicted by her love for Takoyaki...

When...?

When did she develop this love for this snack?

She remember being introduced to it by Uncle Ayato, but...

This was just a snack.

So...

“Why...?”

Suddenly, her mind wandered upon curiosity of that one question.

Yeah...

I remember...

It all started about nine years ago. I was about 6 years old. I was prepared to attend the first grade. Honestly... I didn’t like going to school without Leon by my side. But at that time, I was willing to wait a year to be able to walk beside him to school. Back then, I already knew I was a smart kid. And that isn’t something said out of arrogance. I knew because I noticed how different I was compared to the other kids.

“She got it right again?”

“She’s so weird. She doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“She‘s like a robot! She doesn’t even show any emotion! I bet if you throw something at her, her face will still be the same.”

Even the teachers there.

“She doesn’t socialize with anyone.”

“That brat is so disrespectful! She humiliated me in front of the entire class!”

“Yeah, That kid acts as if she knows it all. Why the hell was she even here?”

......

They were all so annoying...

All so ignorant...

It pissed me off seeing them act as if they knew me when they don’t...

Unlike them, I live in a world where Vampires do exist. I was born with the same blood as vampire hunters. My father was once a vampire before returning back into human. My uncles are still vampires. I lived in a different world from other kids. I was what they would call “different” in comparison to their general idea of “normal”. To their words, a “freak”.

This is why I hated ignorant people...

Just because I was different from them, they had the right to talk down to me...?

At that time, I thought I could handle it... because I wanted to get through it and wait for Leon when he attends school next...

But then.. a week after school started, a week before my birthday... 

I snapped....

I was presented a flower by Leon. He wanted me to wear it to school because he thought I would look pretty with it.

And when I did wear it..

“What is with this flower?! It looks gross!”

The next thing I knew was that a group of boys caught me in a hold, forcibly grabbing the flower from behind my ear.

“What kind of idiot would just wear something this girly?!! Was it that sissy brother of yours that gave you something like that?!!!”

One of the boys scoffed and threw the flower on the ground... and stomped on it repeatedly with a smirk on his face...

Everything went black at that point...

The next thing I remember was... 

A distorted classroom...

Horrified gasps from other children..

A chair within my grasp... 

Hitting the boy’s body until it was bruised... 

Yelling out the words “WHO’S LIVESTOCK?!!!!!” past my lips...

And whimpering from the bruised, trembling body beneath me, mumbling repeatedly, “I-I am..!”

At that time, I didn’t realize how much I really enjoyed the sight of this livestock on the ground being punished like that. How the bruises upon his trembling body were even turning purple. How his helpless whimpers and cries were like music to my ears. It was fascinating at the time. Who knew it would create a spark within me that would awaken the sadist within me.

I was forced into the chairman’s office, with my parents in the room. While the chairman wanted to expel me, my parents knew I wouldn’t have done such a thing such as snapping if something wasn’t happening at school... Unless I was given a good reason for snapping the way I did...

They later learned it was because I was treated unfairly in the school, with the students bullying me and the teachers doing nothing but watch and snarl at me. They wanted the Chairman to do something about it, but he refused. Apparently, due to the injures I gave the boy, it should be our family that is count responsible even though it was that boy’s fault for pushing me into snapping like that. The chairman even refused to allow me to skip grades, despite my intelligence being higher than everyone else’s. Then, It lead to Mother and Father to taking me out of that damn school. While now I feel it was the best thing ever since that school was just the worst, back then I thought I have failed...

I felt like a failure. I let my emotions take control over me. Because of the fact that I was different...

Now Leon and I would never be able to walk together hand-in-hand to school. All because I screwed up...

When we got home, I locked myself in my room. I didn’t even let Leon in, because I felt pathetic for failing....

On my bed, I held onto my cow plush that I’ve had since I was a baby...

Everything was quiet and dark...

I felt empty...

Like I didn’t care to continue living anymore....

I found myself ready to doze off, to forget about everything...

But then I heard a knock upon the door...

“Juliet.. open the door.”

I heard Father’s voice from the other side. And I felt fear.

Was he there to tell me how disappointed he was of me?

While it was true, I did do things father would disapprove of. But the last thing I wanted was to be a disappointment to him.

“I am aware that you are awake; So just open the door. I would like to speak to you.”

Feeling hesitant, I slowly got out of bed and slowly opened the door, coming face-to-face with Father.

“Let’s go.” He said, making me tilt my head and stand still. “Where?” I question. “We are just going for a walk; Get your coat, Juliet; You don't want to worry your mother, do you?” Father advised. I shook my head and immediately did as he said.

Next thing I remember, we were walking together hand-in-hand, on a busy street. We didn’t say anything. We just continued to walk. I didn’t want to say anything, in fear of the possibility of doing something he would disapprove of as a disappointment.

I could only look down.

That was when I smelt something delicious.

I turned my head to a Takoyaki stand, and felt my stomach rumble. My father must’ve noticed it by how loud the rumbling was. “Hungry...” I mumbled as I pressed my hand onto my tummy. I remember myself stubbornly refusing to leave my room, even when it was lunch and dinner. 

My father sighed, but he silently took me to the Takoyaki stand. “Two please.” He ordered. I could only watch in confusion. If there was anything I knew, My father hated strong-flavored foods. This also includes Takoyaki, right? So why...

“Here, Juliet.”

I was brought back to my senses when my father handed Takoyaki to me. Hesitantly, I took it and thanked him before we could go sit somewhere quiet to eat. Once we did, I gave my thanks before eating it. I couldn’t help but savor the texture of it. It was heavenly. I remember being introduced to it by Uncle Ayato when Leon and I were being babysat by Aunt Yui and him. I remember taking a bite of it at that time and the wonderful taste of it, but I forced myself to forget it once we returned home. I didn’t even realize I was already finishing mine and that I was now eating the one Father silently placed on my lap above mine.

“It is quite surprising; You usually don’t enjoy strong-flavored food.” I heard Father comment. Swallowing my food, I reply, “Because it’s different from the rest.”

....

Different from the rest...

Remembering the incident at school and swallowing the last one, I couldn’t help but frown...

I couldn’t believe something like Takoyaki was able to make me forget...

“I want to know why you didn’t tell us.”

I turned to my father in surprise, “What do you mean?” I couldn’t help but question. “What do I mean? If you were having a hard time at school, then why didn’t you come to me or your mother? Even Leon never knew about this. I want to know why you kept this secret from us.” Father answered.

The tone of his voice... 

It sounded scary...

Normally, I would be able to handle it.

But this time...

“I-I... I...”

I could only look down... 

I felt my eyes being clouded with tears... 

Word could barely leave my lips...

My voice started to crack...

“... I didn’t want you.. to see me as a disappointment...”

“What?” I could sense my father’s surprise. I couldn’t blame him. I was a strong kid. I was fearless. I was able to withstand my father’s anger. I never let words affect me that much.

I continued.

“They.. they tried to put me down... If I did.. tell you and Mother... I would’ve felt like a.. f-failure... I wouldn’t be a-able to walk t-together with Leon when h-he goes to school next... I-I-I tried to... n-not l-let it.. a-affect me... b-but...”

At that point, I couldn’t do it...

So instead...

For the first time since I was born...

I, Mukami Juliet, the Mistress of Sadism, the definition of a “Bad Girl”, the rebellious child, and the most dominant sadist you could ever meet...

“UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

Cried...

They were tears of agony...

Tears filled with shame...

I felt utterly disgusted with myself...

My choices lead causing burdens...

Why was I like this...?

It’s not like I hated myself....

And I love my family....

But....

Just why?

Why was I different from the other kids?

Why did they have to be so fucking ignorant?

Why did I have to be the one in the wrong?

Why was I the only one different?!

I remember all of the emotions rushing through me at once, as soon as I started to wail.

Fear, sadness, anger, regret, shame...

It was all like a typhoon.

All of the tears bottled up within me were released. I couldn’t stop them, no matter how much I tried to stop them with my sleeves.

I’m sure it was quite the rare sight for anyone...

Even for Father—

Wait...

During the middle of my wailing, I felt myself in warm, strong arms. 

They were.. my father’s...

“You may have done things that I highly disapprove of...“

I tried to catch my breath, to try and reply back...

But his next words lead me to even more tears...

“However, you are still my daughter regardless.. Both yourself and your brother are always going to be offsprings created from the forbidden fruit that your mother and I shared...”

Even at that age, I knew what he meant about the forbidden fruit that he and mother shared.

It was their love. The forbidden love they shared back then between a vampire and a huntress. Mortal enemies that eventually turned into star-crossed lovers. Their love that was strictly prohibited, much like the love from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, the story Mother has always loved since her childhood. Irresistible yet sinful. Much like the forbidden fruit Adam and Eve ate.

‘Thank god...’

This time... all of my tears were of relief.

I can’t remember how long it has been since I’ve started crying... 

It felt like a very long time...

I believe I passed out from crying too much afterwards.. and that Father carried me back home... because I couldn’t remember what happened next...

On the day of my birthday, it was like before I even went to school. Everything was normal. Leon and Mother were both relieved when I left my room for the first time in a while. My Uncles came, along with Aunt Yui, to celebrate my birthday.

And for the first time in a while, I felt happy.

Uncle Kou got me a new dress, Uncle Yuma got me a set for dumbbells perfectly suited for me as a kid, and Uncle Azusa got me a stuffed bunny. Apparently, Uncle Kou and Uncle Yuma helped pick something out for Uncle Azusa. Back then, I didn’t know why; But now that I know better, it was probably for the best. Aunt Yui got me a journal to write in. And I was received another gift from our other uncle, Mother’s adoptive brother, which was a punching bag. Ever since the incident, My Uncles and Aunt Yui got worried about me. Uncle Yuma was the most furious, but luckily I was able to get him to calm down after I told him what happened next.

It was a fun birthday. But the most special moment for me was at the near end. When it was just Mother, Father, and Leon.

“Our turn!” My mother announced happily as she brought more presents. I could only tilt my head in confusion. “Mother, why didn’t you do this while we were opening presents already?” I questioned. “You’ll see.” Mother smiled before turning to Leon. “Leon, do you want Juliet to open your present first?” Which in response, he nodded and smiled innocently.

Leon’s present? At that time, I was confused. What were they planning? Leon, with the help of Father, carried his present to me, and began to watch me with glee. Now curious, I carefully opened the present and opened the now unwrapped box. I find it to be a small picture frame decorated with the same flower he gave to me the week prior. I look to Leon and gave him a hug. He wanted to give it to me for when I have a memory I want to always treasure. “Thank you, Leon.” I mumbled. “Your welcome, Sis!” He grinned.

I broke the hug to see what my mother had in hand. “This is mine, sweetheart.” She smiled gently. I nodded and gave my thanks to her before unwrapping it. Once I did, I saw it to be a familiar dagger. We all look to Mother, who looked at me with a serious expression. 

“I know you are still too young and you don’t have to take the road my family prior did; However, I inherited this dagger when I was your age. It was your grandfather’s. He used it against bad Vampires to protect the people he loved until his last breath. It was the same reason why I choose to inherit it, and it later became the difficult path that lead me to meet your father.” She spoke giving Father a quick glance before looking back to me as I listened carefully, “Ever since I gave up being a huntress, I never used it in years, because the fight was already over; But I still keep it as a memento of your grandfather, to remember what I fought and risked my life for. So I am giving it to you, for the same reason: To remember what you fought for and to protect the ones you love.”

I look to Leon, who looked back at me. Even though we were children at that time, we both knew we wanted to protect each other. Even willing to fight for each other. From her words, I can only guess that Mother must’ve known how I was feeling when I was locked in my room. That She must’ve went through the same thing too. “Now I’m not giving it to you to use it against those who have hurt you like that school did. I’m giving it to you so you can look at it and remember what you have done.” Mother wrapped her arms around me and held me close in a warm embrace. I could tell she was speaking from experience. “You’ve made some reckless and bad decisions, but you didn’t give in to their bullying. You had enough the moment they did something you couldn’t forgive; And although you should’ve told us what was going on so we could’ve handled it calmly, there was no mistake that getting you out of that school was the right thing to do.”

I shook my head, “They were all ignorant livestock, Mother.” I spoke. Back then, I felt nothing but pity for the people back at that school. But now I know better, they weren’t worthy of my pity. They were all livestock anyways. Mother sighed at my choice of words, but I could’ve sworn at that time my father smirked slightly as if he was proud. Meh. Could’ve been my imagination. “Thank you, Mother.” I hugged back as tightly as I could, after placing the dagger away.

After a moment, Mother released me from the embrace and gave me a light kiss upon my head, before we all turned to Father. For some reason, his present was smaller than Mother’s and Leon’s; However, that made them both smile the widest.

Once he placed the present in front of me, I carefully opened his. It was a small box. And once I opened it...

I gasped.

“Father...”

Inside the box were... 

A pair of light pink barrettes...

I look up to him with wide eyes.

I was met with a smile.

“Happy Birthday, Juliet.”

I was frozen. But he opened the barrettes and helped me place them in my hair. “Look.” Father pointed behind me, with Mother holding up a small mirror to show me my own reflection. “They look really nice on Sis!” Leon commented.

He was right. It was strange, but I really did look better with them rather than a flower. It was like as if they were made for me.

It... suited me...

Within that moment, I felt tears swelling up from the corners of my eyes and looked to my father once again.

And within an instant, I leaned into my father’s arms, hugging him tightly around his neck, and cried.

Since then, I haven’t exactly cried.

Mother and Father decided to have me be homeschooled; But since they both work and can’t offered to let me or Leon alone with someone we don’t know, Aunt Yui offered to take care of both of us and be my homeschool teacher. From what Mother told me, Aunt Yui was an excellent student who took studying very seriously, and even had a higher grade than even the most sophisticated Sakamaki brother, Sakamaki Reiji. With that said, Aunt Yui became my new teacher. Surprisingly, Mother was right. I was able to learn some new things from her as my teacher.

Even better, for breaks, Aunt Yui made me Takoyaki upon my request. It was delicious.

During those breaks, Aunt Yui confirmed my suspicions when she told me how Mother also went through something similar that I did regarding the school incident. When she was younger, Mother got suspended for beating up a group of girls that were bullying Aunt Yui. But Aunt Yui never knew about Mother’s life behind the scenes as a huntress, because Mother didn’t want to get her involved; Otherwise, Mother would feel like she has let Grandmother and Grandfather down for not being able to protect someone dear to her. Like when she wasn’t able to save them. Mother never even cried since the massacre until she was told it was okay for her to cry out all of her emotions she hid during her hellish training and since then. I can't even imagine my own mother being hostile or aggressive like that. Or suffering horribly and trying to hold it in like that. That must’ve been hard for her, having to carry a heavy burden.

And from what I learned from Uncle Kou, Uncle Yuma, and Uncle Azusa, Father was also the type of person to carry heavy burdens too. No matter how stressful it was, being the leader and the eldest, He often tends to stand on his own, and has even pushed Mother away when she first tried to help. Even he had his own problems that he was struggling with that he hid from them. From what I was told, It made sense why he tried to keep it all in. It must’ve been difficult. Being the eldest and the leader that takes care of the younger siblings, desperately wanting to fulfill the debt of someone for saving your life even when the goal was impossible for you to complete yourself, finding out and eventually try to hide an ugly truth about the one that saved you, Et cetera... Just thinking about all of the things Father had to deal with just made me think if it was with Leon, I would’ve done the same thing no matter how bad it would be for me.

So I was similar to them:

We both didn’t want to be appear as a failure.

We bottle up our feelings to avoid showing any sign of weakness.

We are willing to do something risky if the one we care for are involved.

We stubbornly push others away to stand on our own.

We don’t want the people we care about dearly to getting hurt.

....

Now that I think about it...

Were...

Were Mother and Father trying to save me from committing the same mistake they made?

To hold back emotions and turn it all into stress?

... They didn’t want me to become like them in the past.

They.. really did care for me.

They did love me...

I was really their kid...

And for that, I’m forever grateful...

“Sis!”

Juliet looks up, and sees a familiar blond with a grin on his face. The grin slowly disappeared and was replaced with a concerned look upon seeing the Takoyaki still left unfinished. “Hey, are you okay? You didn’t finish your takoyaki.. And that’s saying something.” Leon questioned, worriedly.

Juliet looked down and saw she has not finished her delicious snack. Picking up one of the balls, The raven-haired girl silently gave it to her brother. “Here.” She offered; However, Leon continued to look at his sister with a concern look. “A-Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked again. “I’m fine; Just hurry up and take it.” Juliet eventually got tired and shoved the octopus ball in Leon’s mouth, catching him off-guard, “What are the chances you will ever get an offer like this from me again? Honestly.”

While her expression remained as stoic as it always was, Leon can tell that there was a glint in his sister’s eyes that told him to not push the subject further; With that said, Leon decided to drop it and just eat the takoyaki.

After that, they started to walk together the shopping area to search for a gift for their father. “Hey Sis.” Leon broke the silence between them. “What is it?” Juliet heard footsteps stop behind her, making her stop and turn to see a serious look upon her little brother’s face. 

“... What do you want for you birthday?”

Such a question caught Juliet slightly off-guard. ‘What’s with this question today?’ She thought to herself. “Leon, you should know be better than anyone else in the world; Why would you even ask something stupid like that?” The raven-haired girl raised an eyebrow to show her confusion. They grew up together and know everything about each other. They could even understand what the other is thinking and even turn that into a game.

“I know but.. you don’t ask for anything, Sis.” Leon tried to explain, “You try not to make your birthday a big deal; It’s your birthday, the day you were born! There’s gotta at least be something you want!”

‘Something I want...?’

While it is true that Juliet doesn’t make her birthday a big deal or have anything in mind for a gift, was there really something that she herself wanted?

...

‘Ah... That’s right...’

“Leon, when it’s your birthday coming up and when you are asked the same question, your response was that there isn’t anything you want in particular either.” Juliet retorted. “I-I..” Leon stuttered, caught off-guard by the question. “Why is that?” The raven-haired girl question. Leon‘s tongue was tied for a moment until he looked down and responded shyly, blushing. “It’s because.. the best gift I could ever ask for.. is our family, our friends.. a-and our loved ones...”

There was a silence until Juliet spoke, as it was her turn to break the silence.

“Then you should know already.”

Leon looked up in surprise. His sister looked back at him with a rare smile. A smile that was only reserved to those who she deemed worthy.

“We’re siblings. We grew up together. You should know that if that is why you don’t ask for anything else, it’s not just your reason; It’s mine also.” Juliet responded, revealing the kind side of her that is extremely rare to see, “Do you understand now?”

Enchanted by the rare smile and the rare kind side of his sister, Leon nodded. Out of everyone in the world, it has always been the blonde that has seen this side of his sister the most. That’s why, despite her bullying him and her sadism, Leon knows that there is a good person underneath it all. It’s just his sister rather be known as a monster to others. Only those who work to become worthy enough to Juliet can be rewarded to see what’s underneath the layers of the sadistic mistress.

“Now hurry up, let’s go.” Juliet immediately dropped the smile and returned back to being stoic, “Or else, I’m going to leave you and go on ahead myself.”

Leon couldn’t help but grin before quickly walking next to his sister’s side. That’s his Sis, alright! The one he knows and loves! Juliet took notice of his grin. 

“Why are you grinning like that?”

“Because I love you, Sis.”

“You’re creepy.”

“But you love me anyways, right?”

“Do you have a deathwish?”

“Eh? N-N-No, Sis-“

“Come again?”

“Ma’am! I mean, N-No Ma’am!”

“That’s better.”

There was no need for a birthday gift...

Objects are replaceable...

As long as you have a family that care for you...

Friends that accept you...

Just at least someone that loves you for who you are...

There was no need for anything else in the world...

#juliet mukami #leon mukami #Yuki's writing

[spellboundtours]

Experience has shown that children are far more in touch with the spirit world than are most adults. It is not because there is anything inherently special about kids, it is simply that they have not yet been conditioned to disbelieve what they experience. Think about it, I bet throughout your life you have heard people say “there’s no such thing as ghosts”, or “it’s all in your imagination”! Whether you do or do not believe in ghosts is beside the point, the not so subtle societal conditioning seeps into a person’s mind! The majority of people, by the time they reach elementary school age have been taught not to believe in the supernatural and as a result they start to doubt their own experiences and keep it to themselves. In some cases these poor souls convince themselves they are suffering from mental illness when in reality they might be having a paranormal encounter!

But little kids have not yet been trained to deny their experiences. They are still learning about the world around them and simply report what they actually see and feel. Parents may even encourage their offspring’s ghostly interaction, thinking it is cute their child has an imaginary friend or is just so creative and making up such fun stories. Sometimes smart parents figure out what is going on and can properly address the situation, and decide how they want to handle the child’s ghostly connection. Unfortunately, for the most part the guardians just write it off as childish fancy and forget the whole affair. Every once and a while though something will occur that will make even the most skeptical of parents take serious notice and understand there is an out of the ordinary event at hand. This is one of those stories.

One of my favorite parts of being in charge of Spellbound Tours, Salem’s number one ghost Salem Night Tour, is hearing our guests’ own ghost stories from their lives. This tale was related to me a few years ago by a wonderful family from New Jersey who had come to enjoy The Witch City during a school vacation week. It is a story both tragic and heartwarming, it is a story of tragedy and ultimately of hope. When they related the story to me the entire family was clearly emotional and I could tell they believed every word they said. There is even striking photographic evidence to back up their claims. I have every reason to trust that they were telling the truth as they had experienced it.

The family who told me this tale was a traditional nuclear family; mother, father, and two teenagers, a boy and a girl. When the first child, the boy, who we will call Jacob, had just been born the family was living in New Jersey and commuting to work in New York City. They were figuring out how to balance raising a kid and working at the same time. They got a lot of help from their friends, most of whom were excited that the couple had had a baby, as they were the first in their social circle to do so. One man in particular, we will call him Joe, became particularly connected to the infant child. Whenever he could find time he and his wife would volunteer for babysitting duty. Joe loved baby Jacob and could not wait to have a child of his own. The baby also loved Joe, he would make happy baby noises whenever he visited. The young family and their friends were doing well.

One morning just after nine am when Jacob was about ten months old, the mother, who we will refer to as Dawn, heard him fussing in his crib from the next room. The baby was squirming around and grasping at the air, making excited sounds. All of a sudden he stopped gurgling and launched out his first word ever, “JOE!” The mother was delighted, her baby was talking, and the first word he said was the name of one of their best friends! “JOE, JOE, JOE!” hollered baby Jacob clawing at the air above him. His mother ran and grabbed a camera to snap a picture and record this important moment. She then rushed to the phone in the kitchen to call Joe and tell him the news, he would be so happy! She called him up but the line was busy. Dawn tried again, and got nothing, the phone was still occupied. She figured she had tried and went back to attending the baby. Approximately fifteen minutes had passed and baby Jacob had stopped saying the name and was now being eerily silent, almost frozen, with what could only be described as an infant version of concern on his face.

When the baby had fallen asleep, Dawn went back to her chores about the house. To fill the air she turned on the television. The same tragic image was on every channel. Two airplanes had crashed into the Twin Towers of The World Trade Center in New York City. The world was in chaos. Luckily for the new family even though the husband worked in the city his office was nowhere near the deadly scene. But like everyone they had a connection to the horrible event. Their friend Joe worked in one of the towers.

No wonder the phone lines had been jammed. She hoped Joe had made it out in time, but he worked on a pretty high floor where there was no realistic chance for survival. As the television kept replaying the awful event Dawn remembered how Jacob had been calling Joe’s name and grabbing at the air. With horror she realized that this had happened just moments after the news said the second tower, the one Joe worked in, had been hit! Had Jacob somehow known his friend had died?

With the nation in such a state of shock, the accomplishment of baby Jacob’s first word was put on hold. While it was impressive, and it was quite a coincidence that he called out Joe’s name at just the moment he must have departed this life, the family had more pressing matters to attend to. Funerals, and grieving, and worrying about their own safety in this once hopeful, now terrifying, world. Celebrating the first word milestone would have to wait.

Months passed, life went on, and people tried to pretend things were normal and get back on track. After holiday festivities Dawn finally went to develop the roll of film that had been in her camera for ages. She was looking forward to seeing pictures of the baby’s first Christmas. When the pictures were ready, Dawn peeled open the envelope and took out the stack, expecting to see happy scenes of Christmas when what was revealed made her drop the images in shock. Trembling, she picked up the images and looked again. The first few photographs were the ones that she forgot had been taken on September 11th to commemorate Jacob’s first word. What was in those images was breathtaking. In each one right above the baby’s crib there is a perfect translucent orb of light. The infant is looking directly at the orb in every shot, reaching right for it!

Most orbs can be explained away fairly easily, particularly when they are captured with digital cameras. The vast majority are tricks of the light, reflections, and lens issues, but these pictures are striking. Hard as I tried I could not discredit this series of shots. The orb follows the same trajectory in each picture, there is no light fixture or window visible that could have caused the phenomena. The camera was an old fashioned film camera so that rules out digital hiccups, and the thing shows up on the negatives too. The baby is looking and reaching directly at it, the expression on his face is one of recognition, as if he sees a familiar person. The orb in these shots is entirely consistent with the few verifiable energy orb pictures that exist and cannot be discredited by conventional methods. It is translucent, yet the white color is the same all the way through, no gaps or hard edges. To my trained eye it looks like the real deal.

The family now takes comfort in the photographs. They believe that the orb is Joe’s spirit and that he had come, minutes after his earthly death, to say goodbye to the baby he had so cared for in life. I tend to agree with them. Of course it all could just be a coincidence that the baby called for Joe immediately after he passed, and that there is a credible spirit orb floating above the crib in the pictures taken at that exact moment, but I think that stretches credulity. It all fits together too well to be a cosmic accident. None of the family has experienced any subsequent encounters.

If you have any ghost stories of your own, or any photographs that you believe might contain supernatural phenomena please feel free to share them with us.

#Salem Witch Tour #Salem History Tour #Salem Witch Trials

[fredrichards91]

How To Save Your Marriage Author Incredible Diy Ideas

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Open Marriage To Avoid Divorce

However, stopping divorce is not the end of the problem alone, but someone needs to be butterflies in your marriage.These rules and regulations are what couples find that your spouse has embarrassed you when he or she will appreciate him or her persuasion.From your limited vantage point, you both need and seek advice online.That goes beyond simple dodging a date night planned for you and your spouse has broken and he went the extra mile to keep your temper in check.But there is always a nice method of saving a marriage and keep your temper in an abusive relationship, then apply the above mentioned tips from today!

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Stop Drinking After Divorce

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#How To Save Your Marriage Author Incredible Diy Ideas #Save Marriage Zaza

[fifielady]

The Blue Dues

Ship: USUK

|ao3|

Bright and deep blue. The ocean and sky are free and endless but are enclosed in those eyes. And Arthur knows all he can do is to drown in them.

(Second fic to The Wizard in the Backyard Series)

Part 1 of 3

Arthur Kirkland, wizard extraordinaire and self-certified gentleman, was not a coward. 

Many times has he faced beings and occasions worth fearing. He was also a fearsome person who had done a few questionable acts in his lifetime. He still does, sparingly.  And Arthur was sure that at least most people that met him had a semblance of the feeling 'fear' when facing him; he could prove it at any given moment.

As stated, Arthur was not the type of person to back down and retreat faster than the neighboring duke's chef, and that people like the chef usually and mostly find a way to escape him. Yet. Why did he slam his front door shut when he was taking his broom to leave for the capital? 

Er, it was more like what he saw.

He wasn't afraid of Victoria, oh no, not at all. The maid liked him as much as he liked himself, somewhere around not-at-all. And she wouldn't hesitate to raise her fist to his gentlemanly face but that was not what bothered him. What, not who thank you very much, made him turn around, lock his front door shut, and burn his face brighter than the red silk dress his mother bought from the southern empire, was the bouquet of flowers cradled in Victoria's arms.

'What was this?! A powerful wizard cowering like a priest seduced by an incubus at the sight of flowers?', you may ask? Well, this was the third bouquet now! He had already told him, by letter of course, that it was nothing to worry about and that he was completely fine with it. Yes. Completely fine... And not at all conflicted.

A lie. A god damn lie. An as big-as-his-ego-lie. Arthur had to be comforted the rest of the afternoon and then the whole night by his little friends. They were fretting for his well-being so much they almost burned his cottage down to the ground to cook dinner while Arthur himself was fretting what to do next after that--that kiss.

A bored kick on the door jolted him to awareness. "Oi, Mister Wizard, " the clicking of heels and the shuffling of the flowers could be heard from the other side of the door, "Stop being rude and accept the flowers."

The maid was right. He was being rude. Not accepting the blooms from his next-door neighbor's luxurious garden as an apology bouquet for the little and harmless misunderstanding they had three days ago is disrespectful and completely goes against the image he was working hard for. 

Besides, they really were only apology flowers anyway. That was not a good reason to be upset--much less, disappointed. 

Arthur brushed off the non-existent dust off of his cloak and gripped the doorknob. Steeling himself, Arthur slowly creaked the door open. "Seriously, don't you know that some people have a lot of things to do than you do?" Victoria reprimanded him as she carelessly throws at him the arrangement of daffodils and lilacs, "I can't believe I let you talk me into coming with you to this country!"

The wizard barely caught the gift. Arthur bristled, to the careless handling of his gift and her statement, "Wha-- You were the one begging to come along! And you can't tell me you don't find working as the head maid of the prestigious house of Sableon is better than where you worked before, Victoria." 

He was right about the events, as always. The green-eyed wizard had met Victoria and saved her from her doom when he was operating under the orders of Her Majesty to reclaim a book from a library in the "annoying little kingdom in the southwest".

Victoria crossed her arms in a begrudging agreement. She held her head high as she stood her ground, looking at him straight in the eye. Arthur frowned back at her. For a person whom he'd 'rescued', she was too prideful. Or was it because she simply disliked him so.

"Oh? Are you going on a journey or something?" She asked as her eyes observed his thick, violet wizard cloak and a gold lion pin which represented his rank. It was Arthur's uniform. And was for every other registered wizard in the kingdom, except for the pin.

"Or something, yes. The Tower needed someone who could continue to observe the last stage of this year's examination. I was told that a professor had gotten himself thrown off of one of the windows and broke his spine when he chased down a thief loitering in the palace," Arthur winced and the maid thought for a second there he was concerned about this person but Arthur continued without a beat, "So much for my retirement--err vacation." 

Victoria sighed in defeat. She had given up reforming her "friend" long ago. But perhaps another could. The maid eyed the bouquet with amusement. This scene with the Lion-ranked wizard cradling the flowers with gentleness while his face was the face of someone cursing another's existence is very silly. She was sure if he hadn't met her current employer, he'd have burned the arrangement with lightning. And have it thrown to a crater of a volcano.

She snatched the bouquet from his hands. Arthur spluttered in displeasure from having his apology gift taken away from him. Victoria tutted at him before he could complain any further. "I know you're in a hurry--"

"Damn right." She shot him a look.

"--So I'll put these in a vase," she waved the bouquet at his face, "and lock your house for you while you fly on your magic stick to the palace to babysit your magelings."

Arthur looked at her with surprise and nodded as he took his broomstick near the doorway. "Ah, thank you for the trouble Victoria."

She waved him away. "Go, it's the most I can do for you." And Arthur took off on his broomstick into the air with a nod. 

Victoria went inside the quaint cottage to find a vase to put the flowers in. It was strange. The duke was the kind of person who'd go out of his way to do most things first-hand and face-to-face. Her brow furrowed as she poured water in the vase for the flowers. There were two other arrangements set on a nearby windowsill, the ones she was ordered to give yesterday and the day before. This was the third bouquet.

The garden was least frequented by the staff of the mansion. The only ones who knew what happened there that day were only the duke and the wizard so no one knew why both abruptly refused to meet the other personally.

Victoria paused as she locked the front door. If both were avoiding the other, then it would be too late. She forgot that Alfred had gone on a carriage to the palace for business at sunrise. The same palace that the Tower Arthur was probably complaining about.

Well, their private matters don't concern her. Both were grown men, the duke and the wizard can solve their tension themselves.

////////////

"You there! Stop drinking the damned Frogswurt-- No-- Move, you fool!" Arthur's scolding reverberated across the walls of the magically-distorted room making the magelings flinch and drop apparatuses. The wizard could feel the veins throbbing on his forehead. Give him the apprentices who practice divination any day, just not these idiots who couldn't even differentiate Ivory Stone from Chalk Stone. Ugh.

And he was supposed to enjoy his three-year vacation, too! Right now, Arthur was regretting buying a cottage and not a beautiful ship to sail to a tropical islet. Alone and at peace.

The questionable sound of something sizzling snapped him back into his current nightmare. Shit, he thought as he witnessed an apprentice from the furthest row ignite his potion with Lizard Breath. Explosives weren't on the course. Students were forbidden to brew fiery potions at the palace court. 

They were all going to burn...

The wizard jumped off from his platform and sprinted. He dodged the boiling pots and students. The air surrounding them warmed. Arthur could imagine it was the heat of the sun as he lay on the white sand. But he wasn't going to get that if he doesn't flip the utterly stupid mageling's table.

His breath had become shorter and he was still eight rows away-- too little time! The apprentice, while looking at a potion book,  was haphazardly adding more and more Lizard Breath to the potion as it hissed and sparked. Arthur raised two fingers at the pot and yelled, "Suelvert!"

Silver sparks shot from his fingers and hit against the charred side of the pot. All of a sudden, the sizzling pot of potion sucked itself into a smaller angry pot. It shook and hopped as it went from large to small to little to as tiny as a ring. The transformed container spewed a line of fire and even at its size, the thin column of fire almost reached the ceiling.

The student was now aware of the actions, and lack thereof, he had caused. The poor mageling faced Arthur as pale as his maker's bosom and squeaked under the heavy green glare. No one dared to move nor utter a word as Arthur Kirkland strode his way to the young wizard. 

"You fool! You could have burnt this place and everyone else to the ground. I don't even want to know what was running in your mind during an examination that needed your absolute attention." Arthur hissed, angry and tired. He was spent. Arthur adored children but could barely do a good job watching them. The wizard took a deep breath. "Clean your table. You are going to Miss Elizabeta." 

He watched with resigned irritation (mostly frightened by the possibility of arson under his watch),  weariness, and a little bit of pity at the student he scolded. Arthur had been there; it was part of the natural paths of being a competent wizard.

The wizard turned to walk back to his pedestal to oversee the others once again. Hushed murmurs and whispers slowly replaced the silence that had overtaken the room. Everyone went back to their respective pots and tables and continued their brewing and mixing and mutterings of magic.

He shut his eyes and leaned back on the high chair. A headache was beginning to throb at the back of his head. Arthur wants to go home and relax on the chair by the window overlooking his garden with his bouquet from Alfred beside him. Smelling the sweet scent of lilacs and daffodils and enjoying the summer breeze was what he should be doing right now.

Daffodils and Lilacs... Arthur shook his head as if to shake away that line of thought. After all, if Alfred didn't know the names of most flowers, then he wouldn't know their meanings.

Arthur looked up to examine the fledgling wizards upfront only to see a troubled-looking girl staring at her cauldron. The student suddenly yelped in surprise as her pot grumbled and rumbled on the table, rolling off the glass bottles from the table to the floor. 

Their wizard guardian, dreading the rest of the day, absently flicked his wrist in a silent command 'Sedpus' and caught the falling glass from shattering. Arthur groaned, it was only the first hour out of five.

Maybe he should visit the fae living in the palace gardens. They always cheered him up. The Magic Tower was quite close to the gardens so walking would take little time... Well, at least now he had something to look forward to in the palace.

tbc

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#hetalia #aph england #aph america #hws england #hws america #usuk #ukus #axis powers hetalia #usual fanfic #twitb series #magic and aristocracy stuff #fi writes

[karanrazdan]

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Smita was in a mall. Not exactly shopping, but essentially killing time. Home made her feel claustrophobic and she felt this desperate urge to get out sometimes, once her husband Abhijeet and son Arnav had left for office and school respectively. She liked watching strangers and imagining their lives. If someone was speaking on the mobile with a smile she would think, ‘ Is he talking to his girlfriend? ‘ If a couple passed by arguing, she thought ‘ it’s a Lovers spat ‘. The world was full of love, seen from her eyes. She envied couples who were window shopping in the mall and enjoying their togetherness. World as they say is a reflection of your inner being. What we lack, we see all around us. She lacked love and love is all she saw around her.

She was having coffee in the mall’s cafeteria, when she first saw him. He was with his young daughter, helping her eat a brownie covered in hot chocolate sauce.The daughter was no older than five or six years old. The sight of a father helping his daughter have a brownie with a plastic spoon and the hot sauce dripping on to her chin, which he was constantly wiping with a tissue, brought a smile to her face. Caring for his little girl made him look so warm and kind. There was a good- heartedness about him which reflected in his brown eyes, she could tell even from a distance. His hands were big and so were his shoulders. But yet those big hands when helping a kid eat appeared kind. She wasn’t looking at him from the corner of her eye. She was too orthodox for that. She was looking at him unblinkingly. As if his persona had a magnetic power that was attracting her whole being towards him. Looking at him with his daughter was seemingly filling a void within her. She must have stared at him for a few seconds or maybe a minute. Then he became aware of her presence. He looked at her. She looked away. But in that split second before taking her eyes away, she felt as if he had smiled at her. She looked back. He was still smiling and nodded at her politely when their eyes met. She awkwardly nodded back and smiled. Then he got busy with his daughter once again. She had finished eating her brownie and was now wanting to taste his lemon soda. After some argument with the daughter, which she could hardly hear, the man gave in and allowed her to take a sip of his soda. The little girl had her father twirled around her little finger, Smita thought, bemused. His helplessness was evident. Smita felt a sudden rush of blood to her heart seeing his vulnerability and helplessness in dealing with his daughter. The daughter was again throwing a tantrum and asking for something more to eat. Maybe a muffin and he was firmly trying to explain to her that she had eaten enough. He once again became aware of her eyes and this time he looked at her and smiled, clearly embarrassed by his daughter’s tantrums. She smiled back. He wanted to leave, inspite of the stubborn behaviour of his daughter. Take her as far as he could from the cafeteria. Ultimately he managed to convince her. He stood up, helped his daughter get down from her chair. He was tall and broad. His daughter looked like a little doll standing beside him. He again looked looked at Smita, sighed with a smile, as if saying, ‘ Children. Always tough to handle’. She smiled back at him. Then to avoid his eyes any further Smita pretended to get busy with drinking her coffee. Sadly enough she did not want them to leave, but they left and her eyes lost the sparkle. The usual emptiness came back to occupy them. The emptiness she felt in her heart and soul was her true companion. She finished her coffee and quickly paid her bill and left the cafeteria. She had a sudden urge to return back to the refuge of her home. As if she was missing the walls of her home, which were witness to her pain and lack of love in life. With whom she had shared her tears and unfulfilled dreams. She walked through the mall at a brisk pace, as if she was being chased by someone.

As she was making her way towards the exit, she saw the man again, standing outside the ladies toilet. She slowed down, not wanting to look panicky. As she came close she could hear him ask, ‘ Riya are you done ?’ As she came closer, he again smiled at her politely at her. Again he called out to his daughter. ‘ Riya ‘. She had passed him when she heard, ‘ Excuse me ‘. She turned. ‘ My daughter is in the washroom and she isn’t answering. I cant go in. Will you please…. ?’ Smita nodded, words not forming in her mind and then she heard herself say, ‘ Yes ‘. ‘ Will you please bring her to me if she is done ? ‘ ‘ Yes. Sure’. ‘Her name is Riya’. ‘ Yes i heard..you were calling out her name’. Smita went in to the ladies toilet and called out to Riya. Ultimately saw her in a cubicle, which Riya had not locked. But Smita did feel right to encroach on the little girl’s privacy and so did not go in. She told her, ‘ Riya. Are you done ? Your dad is waiting outside for you’. Riya asked, ‘ Who are you ‘? ‘ i am.. just a friend helping him out. Since he cant come in’. ‘ He doesn’t have any lady friends ‘. ‘ Well i am not his friend. I was just kind of.. passing by and he asked me if i could help him. Are we done here ? Can you please come out’. After a little delay Smita heard the flush and Riya came out. She looked at Smita and said, ‘ Hi ‘. ‘ hi ‘. ‘ You are nice looking ‘. Smita not used to getting a compliment, blushed, before saying, ‘ Thank you’.She took Riya out and on seeing her dad Riya said, ‘ Whats the rush ? Why did you send this poor lady in’? ‘ Because you were gone for more than five minutes and weren’t responding when i called out your name’. He turned to Smita and said, ‘ Thank you so much. By the way my name is Saurabh ‘. ‘Hi. I am Smita’. ‘ Hi Smita. Shall we ‘? They started walking towards the exit. ‘Do you often come to this mall ‘? She replied, ‘ Not very often ‘. ‘ Nor do we. But i am babysitting these days. Her mother is travelling. She works. And Riya’s school vacation has begun. So i take her to a different mall everyday’. Riya interjected, ‘ I want to come to this mall tomorrow and have my muffin. You did not allow me to have it today’. Saurabh laughed. ‘ This one is a stubborn little girl’. Saying this he picked her up and held her above his head. She squealed with delight, but asked her father to put her down. He did. As they were about to part at the exit Saurabh said, ‘ Why dont you come tomorrow, around the same time. We can have a cup of coffee together’. Smita was caught unaware. She did not know how to respond. He saw her confusion and said, ‘ Think about it. If you are free and can make it ‘. ‘ Yeah ‘ Smita said, not wanting to commit. Then she shook Riya’s hand and they parted.

That evening Smita went through the motions at home as if in a trance. She smiled and laughed at the right times. Abhijeet did not notice any change in her. Only after he had made love to her and fallen asleep, she was at last left alone to think about the afternoon. Saurabh and Riya. His kindness mixed with his manliness. His large hands and his disarming smile. His love for his daughter and yet an animal like magnetism that he possessed, which could attract any woman. She relived those moments over and over again, when he asked her to join them for coffee. She was in the midst of sleep and wakefulness when Saurabh started caressing her face. Then he looked deeply in to her eyes and she could see his brown eyes piercing in to her and touching her soul. Then embraced her. Holding her tight, his tall broad frame overpowering her and for the first time Smita felt very secure and reassured in someone’s arms. But she woke up and the spell broke. The sun was up and her bedroom was filled with light. After very long she had flown on the wings of night and travelled in to the sunshine of the morning. Her first thought was to check the time. ‘ How many hours left before i go to the mall and meet them’? There was plenty of hours left for that.

She got busy in her morning chores, looking at the clock every few minutes. Ultimately it was time to leave. She changed clothes a few times, not feeling satisfied with the way she looked. At last she decided on jeans and a shirt. Then she hurriedly left for the mall, lest the walls of her home guess her secret.

She came to the mall and straightaway headed for the cafeteria. They were not there. She sat down and waited patiently, not ordering coffee. But there was no sign of them even after an hour. Now with every passing minute she watched herself descend in to a dark hole. Deeper and deeper. It felt as if it was an abyss and unending. She now understood how desperately she had wanted to meet him, Saurabh, once again. His caress, his embrace seemed so real, as if it had happened in reality between the two of them. The line between reality and dream was beginning to get blurred in her mind. Then a strange thought struck her. ‘Had she really seen them here yesterday ‘ ? She was no longer sure if seeing them in the cafeteria was real or an imagination of her fragmented mind. Was it illusionary ? Had she invented them ? Is it possible that they didn’t exist and she had imagined all of it ? She felt a shiver run through her body. And she felt yet again; that she was loosing her mind.

Mrs Sen – finding someone Smita was in a mall. Not exactly shopping, but essentially killing time. Home made her feel claustrophobic and she felt this desperate urge to get out sometimes, once her husband Abhijeet and son Arnav had left for office and school respectively.

[rachelzee143-blog]

Another Mother Against Promposals

<p>My stance on the issue of the Promposal trend was recently placed in public view when I read this blog post here: http://www.scarymommy.com/promposal-trend/</p> <p>A friend of mine, a millennial who is smart, outspoken and whom I hold in high regard responded by saying this: <blockquote>Hi I’m 22 this is sounds EXACTLY LIKE LITERALLY EVERY article by a bitter out of touch middle aged person ever. Seriously the world we’re growing up in is screwed the public education system is a shit show they deserve the whatever celebration they want for simply surviving cyber bullying, hormones, growing up, common core and deciding what to do with their lives before their brains are even done developing. You can’t make enough money working part time to put yourself through college (I would know I’m trying!) so they might not even get to finish. No degree? good luck making enough to get married or start a family, look at the people a few years older than high school seniors, millennials, people this woman’s age can’t fucking shut up about how we’re ruining everything by not getting married, buying houses and starting families AND WHY do they think we’re not doing these things?? Because we’re selfish and only want to be “free and focus on our selfies, avocado toast and careers” when the reality is we can’t afford to marry the people we love without coming under criticism for not having a dress or a church, we can barely afford the shoeboxes we do live in so a house might as well be a mermaid and if we kids living the way we do we’d never hear the end of how awful we are pawning them off on our parents because we can’t afford daycare and rent. Let these kids party as extravagantly as they please because it may be a long time before they ever seen the rest of those mile stones.“

My response? I read the article twice before posting. I have a general rule against posting propaganda that perpetuates generational divide. Because the truth is, when I was 22, it sucked just as much. For different reasons, but it sucked. When I was 22, we had new frontiers to handle. We were not certain this planet would be around long enough for us to see our own children. Would it be nuclear war? The hole in the ozone? Pollution? Many of our parents got divorced when we were young, giving way to the term "broken homes”. Ours was the first generation to have predominantly two parents working full time. We were called the latch key generation; later the more ubiquitous Generation X. We witnessed the AIDS epidemic first hand and a government try to ignore and scapegoat it away. Trust me: we had plenty on our shoulders and I remember. At 22 I had to drop out of college (lack of finances and inability to pay back loans.) I worked two full time and one part time jobs plus babysitting and lived with my parents for the next few years. When my husband and I finally got married we had been together for six years. He received some money from his grandmother to put a down payment on our house - a double, so we always have income from the upper. At a time when weddings were expected to cost 15-30k, ours cost about 6k. My mother hand sewed my dress. We got an amazing deal on tulle and other decorations from a florist that happened to be closing. We made it work. So when people lament about how great it was “back in my day”, I hesitate to get on board with that. We had the same criticisms of “kids don’t play outside” and “none of the parents understand the way their children are being taught.” We felt misunderstood by the Boomers and the Silent Gen'ers who raised us. And they felt misunderstood by the Greatest Gen'ers before them, and so forth. The struggles that occur as part of a coming of age may be painted with different medium, but they are all the same. And I don’t want to pretend that somehow my people got it all sunshine and rainbows right just because we brought the world Google and our mothers could yell for us from five blocks away to get us home in time for dinner. But this prom thing… my God, the pressure! I went to three proms (mom made those dresses too.) For the first two, I asked my dates to go with me. None of the guys I asked were even in my grade. I am quite certain nobody wanted to take a chubby weirdo like me. I cannot for the life of me imagine if the expectation had been a promposal that for me would simply never have come. The humiliation would have been crushing. Seeing others in my not quite fully developed but highly perceptive mind experience this might literally have killed me. But I did go, with nice boys who were my friends. One of which I felt compelled to bribe by buying his ticket and arranging for him to wear my brother’s vintage tuxedo. My mom tailored it for him and made him a tie and cummerbund to match my dress. (And I was rejected by the first guy I asked for that year.) [The third prom was my boyfriend’s senior prom. He actually asked me. I was in college. I married that guy.] And even then, I remember parents complaining about the unnecessary extravagance of it all - the limos, kids renting hotels… my junior prom date wore his nicest suit (not a tux) and our parents drove. For my senior prom, my dad borrowed a friend’s large van and took us to our restaurant and then to the prom. [My future husband has his own car]. I think my point is… I don’t want to take anything away from the experiences of the people who come after me. But at the same time, there is elegance in simplicity - which often gets overlooked in our youth and only more so when parents encourage it. I don’t want to take away anyone’s opportunity to celebrate and live it up. It’s just that when I look at these things, I wonder why this has to be SO big? It felt enormous when I lived it and it wasn’t this big. The expectations become even more difficult to meet. Seems like so much pressure to create a massive set up for potential disaster.

<p>Later, I spoke with my oldest daughter about this phenomenon. She is an incredible romantic who swoons at rom-coms and spent much of her earliest years enacting weddings with Barbie dolls and such. She is fourteen now and even though she is pretty certain all boys her own age are immature and gross, there is certainly a part of her that yearns for the summery sweetness of a fumbling slow dance on a dark and starry gymnasium floor, or a hand to hold while strolling through a carnival.

To no surprise, she said that these are “so cute” and “sweet”. And I get that. Some of these kids really come up with unique and fun ways to get the date.

But as the article says, when is enough enough? As a Gen-Xer myself, I tend to revolt against the mentality that somehow other generations (before or after) are wrong, or had it easier or whatever. We have all sailed uncharted waters. We have all taken risks by ignoring the warnings of our predecessors, and benefitted from them as well as failed. We have traded things along the way that have both helped and hindered our worlds equally. I believe this to be one universal truth of the whole human existence. Gen-Exers were once classified as cynical if not ambivalent, helpless, hapless and hopeless, in some ways eternal seekers - though that was not a compliment at the time. So by no means am I into speaking out against a generation. That’s just mean. <p>What I see is the nefarious underbelly of teenage expectation. For example: what if the askee still says no? What if the askee is asked by more than one person? What if the askee thinks the asker has bigger feelings than they do? What if the asker has bigger expectations in mind, since they went though all the trouble? </p> See, those problems have been there all along in the history of proms, and yet somehow the Promposal seems to amplify the stakes even more.