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baby--charchar · 3 months

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If Charlie is everyone's sunshine when she's big, then I imagine her being a very fussy and clingy baby. To her, regressing would be one of the few times she doesn't feel responsible for making sure everyone else is happy, and thus she doesn't have to FAKE being happy herself. As a baby, she can be completely honest about how terrible, awful, no good she feels occasionally. She can cry over how much she misses Vaggie when she's working on something in the hotel! She can stomp her little hooven feet every time daddy insists she needs a nap! She can even chuck her plate across the room if Vaggie insists she finishes her yucky veggies! (Okay that one is frowned upon but she is still safe to do so! Freedom of expression!).

Likewise, if a usually happy Charlie lets herself be upset in littlespace, then a super serious Vaggie can finally be silly and playful in hers.

I do see Vaggie as being autistic, so there would be a lot of unmasking she had to learn when she first started regressing. Baby Vaggie would do a lot of rocking and hand flapping when playtime starts. She just gets so excited to see Charlie or Lucifer bring out her chunky Lego sets! She has all sorts of colors and finishes for her Legos, like primary colors, pastels and jewel tones; plus shimmery, glittery, see-through, opaque. She got ALL THE LEGOS. She loves dumping them out of the massive bucket and sorting them all before she gets to building.

She also loves her movies. She's a Ghibli kid through and through. She has certain scenes that she loves playing over and over again, like when Chihiro is running down the old staircase in Spirited Away. She'll hold the remote in one hand and her favorite blankie in the other, then pace back and forth in her and Charlie's room, shaking from excitement, squealing, while rewinding the same clip every ten or so seconds. It's just...such a cool scene! The animation is so good! The voicing and sound effects are intense! She loves all the little details and can focus on one scene for an hour at a time. Charlie and Lucifer don't mind one bit, they love the happy baby!

Only 2 things can really get baby Vaggie in a sour mood: bad food and bad clothes. Vaggie has a very limited range of safe foods while in baby space, with pupusas, rice, chicken nuggets, and water being her usual fair. She makes plenty of pupusas when she's big and stores them in the freezer; that way Charlie always has something wholesome and filling to give her. But one time, Lucifer added sugar to her rice (something Charlie liked as a baby), and it did NOT go over well. Poor baby had a massive meltdown and wouldn't eat until she was big the next day.

Clothes can also be a challenge, but for the most part they have this figured out. A soft, ribbed tank top or long sleeve, super plush drawstring pajama pants, and a diaper (because the elastic on pull ups is just too tight!!!). She gets changes frequently because she hates being anything less than clean, but she's noticed Lucifer is better at closing her diaper just snug enough but not too tight.

She is completely nonverbal but is still a VERY noisy baby. All day long, Baby Vaggie is either squealing, shouting, chuffing, or cooing. Charlie made her a little communication board to help her ask for what she wants, like her favorite foods, toys, or when she just needs a cuddle.

And yeah, I do see the irony of giving them both personality switches when they're regressed...but I stand by it! Let Baby Charlie have a good cry when she needs, and see that no one's gonna be mad at her! Let Baby Vaggie relax and do everything that makes her happy, and see that she is still incredibly loved! And give Lucifer a second chance to try this whole 'dad' thing and be a proud papa of his sweet kiddos!

#hazbin hotel agere #hazbin hotel age regression #little!vaggie #little!charlie #cg!lucifer #cg!charlie #cg!vaggie #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel #vaggie #charlie morningstar

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birdofmay · 2 years

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Phew, I don’t know if every country would consider me high support needs (we have 5 care levels in my country, not 3. I'm 4 out of 5), but just to give low support needs autistics an idea of what high support needs means, I’ll tell you about my “normal to slightly stressful” days. Remember, these are not my bad days, these are normal days with too much sensory input or when I couldn’t follow some of my routines. On those days I

need constant supervision because I can’t self-monitor myself/don’t realise what I’m doing; I might chew on caustic things for example, and am not aware of dangers. This is the case on good days too btw. (Oh, and I sometimes get lost in my own home 🙈)

am not allowed to cook or heat things up, for the same reason as above - it’s too dangerous

need somebody to wash my hair and brush my teeth, either need them to verbally prompt me in the shower and while getting dressed or if I’m overstimulated they have to dress me, etc.

need them to change my diapers (for a while incontinence pads were enough and I could change them on my own with visual prompts on a good day, but diapers are too complicated)

need them to remind me to go to the toilet because I don’t feel my body signals, and help me on the toilet (especially because of balance issues; I have hand rails, but sometimes that's not enough)

need them to help me going from one room to another (my brain has trouble adjusting to my surroundings, so sometimes my body just freezes in front of the door, really annoying, but I can’t help it 🤷‍♀️)

need them to prompt me sitting down or getting up, for the same reason as above

need somebody to watch me while I’m eating because I easily choke on food and drinks, and in case of aspiration they can do something about it (dysphagia)

have a long bedtime routine because otherwise, even though I take melatonin, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all. I might wake up and feel upset and angry without an obvious reason, and I can’t calm myself down, so I need other people to calm me down then

can only leave the house and/or use public transportation if another person is with me because I would get lost otherwise - that’s also the case on a good day btw, I simply can never be unsupervised 🤷‍♀️

can’t plan ahead or develop strategies for anything at all, that’s also the case on a good day, I just wanted to mention it. Other people have to tell me what things I could do today and let me choose, but I never know what’s more important or better, etc. This is one important thing people pay attention to when they assess the “care level” we have in my country: If the individual can come up with own plans and create/make decisions, or if the individual needs to be presented possible options to choose from. I can only choose (and it takes time), but I can’t come up with anything myself.

am easily overwhelmed in general, but if it’s not one of my best days, I can’t be around/interact with unfamiliar people without needing a familiar person to calm me down. I often read about autistics who managed to go grocery shopping with a close friend/family member and are proud of themselves - I could never do that even on the best day ever. It’s not only the sensory input in the shop, it’s the simple fact that one unfamiliar person approaching me can cause a meltdown if I wasn’t prepared that they will approach me... This isn’t anxiety, it’s my brain acting up and not doing it’s job 🤷‍♀️

.....oh yeah and I can’t speak. Sometimes I can spontaneously say up to 3 words, but when using words it’s mostly something like “No!” or “Hey!”, things like that. I either use sign language or text-to-speech. So this makes communication a little harder 🤷‍♀️

So this is high(er) support needs. If you are mostly independent but then there are days where you can’t leave your bed, can’t take care of yourself, and/or are extremely in pain, you might either be support-flux (good for autistics with chronic pain or other chronic conditions that have sudden flare ups, I think) or may be burnt out because your low support needs haven’t been met over a long period of time. Low support needs only means that you don’t need help with BADLs, it doesn’t mean no support needs. It means that you need support and help in your every day life - but this support just isn’t needed for BADLs.

#actually autistic #high support needs #medium support needs #long post #actuallyautistic #actually disabled

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littlebabycrybtch · 4 years

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anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God,

#tw ableism/ / /#actuallyautistic #autism moms #autism parenting #tw unsanitary ment/ // /#tw abuse ment/ //

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executive-geneticist · 5 years

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♂ ♀

Drabble Prompts

♂ - … My muse’s father

-There are few things that can compare to finding out that you are to have a son. For Erik Apollo, there was no greater news for an expectant father to hear. In the weeks between that 20-week ultrasound and delivery date, he found himself imagining all the things fathers-of-sons imagine. Playing catch in the yard, teaching his son to drive and change the oil, going to ball games on the weekend. The nursery he and his wife lovingly decorated together had all the hallmarks of a stereotypical boy child; baseball bats on the wall, a blanket with endearing terms like “slugger,” “champ,” and “sport” covering the front and back, trucks and dinosaurs filling a toy box in the corner. It was everything Erik and Katarina wanted for their son.

-So when Archer came along and the years came and went that he would be old enough to enjoy such things, it was a little disheartening when he showed little to no interest. Instead of the joy of watching their son carting around his football-player teddy bear or sleeping with it as a companion against the childhood fear of being alone in the dark, his parents found a trail of stuffing and plastic pellets that ended in a mess of torn fabric and fluff. Instead of collections of cars and tools and soldiers, he had shattered piles of plastic and metal, forgotten as soon as they were no longer entertaining.

-For Erik, it took years longer than it did Katarina to realize there might be something different about their offspring. Despite the signs that Archer’s interests were not only unconventional but downright wrong, he wanted with his whole heart to believe that his son was just a late bloomer. “Boys will be boys,” he said. He was a little destructive, certainly, and perhaps a little more violent with his friends than most kids, but that didn’t mean anything bad. After all, Archer was his son, his little boy. How could he produce something wrong when there’d never been anything in his own history to hint at what might be wrong?

-It was Katarina who first suggested they get him tested, when Archer was around nine years old, and Erik had protested angrily. He simply couldn’t believe his son had anything to do with the disappearance of a neighbor’s cat or his classmate’s dog. Archer was a good kid, if a little quieter and harder to connect with, and there was no way he would ever do something untoward like that. If no one else was going to defend his son, then he would take that role with pride.

-When the cat’s body was found in the backyard and Archer had merely lifted his shoulders dismissively, Erik finally relented.-

♀ - … My muse’s mother

-A mother’s love is unending. It is intuitive and soft, sensitive and all-knowing. Katarina Apollo knew almost right away that there was something off about her son. He was a good baby, rarely cried, never colicky or spoiled. So she’d considered herself blessed when she slept through the night less than three months after he’d been born and only had to feed him just before bed and right away in the morning. He was never clingy, never inconsolable when she strapped him in the car seat or put him down for a nap. He transitioned from bassinet to crib, bottles to sippy cups, diapers to underwear with an ease that made her mom friends ridiculously jealous.

-But once the bouncing baby boy had learned to walk and, by extension, to walk away, she started to notice concerning things. Clapping and kisses and the need for parental safety are things all children develop naturally. They are an expression of joy, of love, of fear. When Archer didn’t start clapping at the right age (or until he was old enough to imitate others), it hadn’t seemed like much. Children develop at different speeds, the pediatrician had told her, and she shouldn’t be concerned. When his tolerance of her maternal affection went from begrudging acceptance to outright tantrums, the possibility he was autistic was first brought up, but quickly ruled out with preliminary tests. When most children would be crying for their mothers or clinging to what’s known, what’s comfortable, what’s beloved, he merely shrugged his shoulders disinterestedly and moved on.

-Katarina was at a loss. Friends, doctors, neighbors, even her husband all smoothed over her concerns with a dismissive wave and promised he would develop into a more normal, stable person as he grew and learned how to appropriately express himself. They said she was cruel for insinuating something was inherently wrong with her son. She and Erik fought. But there was something about Archer that she knew wasn’t right. A mother’s intuition knows, even while her love never stops.

-The day finally came, as she knew it would, that things would escalate to the point no one could further deny what she’d said all along. Animal remains were found in the backyard, decayed and dissected and hardly recognizable as anything once living but for the blood and fur, and Archer, Katarina’s primary suspect when the neighbor’s cat went missing in the first place, simply shrugged indifferent shoulders and said something that sounded bored and more bothered by the interruption than the accusation itself.

-Even Erik had finally come to see the light and agreed to have his son tested. They didn’t know what exactly to test for– or knew and didn’t want to use the words and damn themselves– but it started with a visit to a psychiatrist. Katarina and Erik Apollo sat outside the doctor’s office, hands clasped together, the picture perfect image of concerned parents, as their son sat in the room and talked with a complete stranger. An hour passed, slow as molasses in winter, and Katarina was certain that at the end of that hour, a man in white would come and collect her son to keep him away from civil society forever. She’d never felt more relieved in all her life.

-Except that when the door opened again, the psychiatrist was ushering a grief-stricken Archer from his office, an arm draped across his shoulders sympathetically. Katarina was stunned. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen her son cry, but the way he sniffled and hiccuped in the doctor’s embrace pulled at her motherly heart. She watched fat tears roll down the distraught boy’s face as he apologized, over and over, said he’d never meant to hurt anything or lie about it. See, he’d only tried to feed the poor cat but something must have been wrong with the food because it got sick and died soon after. He’d tried to cover it up, terrified that he’d get in trouble or worse, and when it was discovered, he thought lying about it or feigning ignorance was the answer. He’d been detached and withdrawn because the guilt was eating him up and when he was brought in to see the psychiatrist, promised he wouldn’t be in trouble if he were completely honest, he’d broken down in tears.

-Katarina wanted to deny it, to argue that this was all a ploy and that he was really and truly a monster in the making, but then Archer had wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in her stomach. He trembled with the force of his sobs and he kept apologizing, telling her he loved her, that he was just afraid of disappointing her, making promises to never scare her like that again. She wanted to push him away, wanted to call him a liar, but her heart simply couldn’t let go of him and warred with her logical mind. The doctor said there was no reason to take things any further, made Archer promise to tell the truth from then on and let himself be open with his parents. Erik was overjoyed, a smug smile on his face whenever Katarina met his eye, and though there remained a part of her that wanted to smack him every time she saw it, she was too busy consoling the boy in her arms.

-They got home that night and ate dinner like every normal family does. Katarina couldn’t keep her eyes off him the whole time as he ate, waiting for the moment the other shoe would drop. He cleared his plate, washed the dishes, and in a voice still heavy with emotion, asked to sit and watch a game with his father. There was nothing that could bring Erik back down to reality. And Katarina watched, as she often did, alone with the mounting fear that she was the only one who knew what her son really was.

-For weeks it carried on like this; Archer finally acting like the boy they’d always prayed for, Erik over the moon, Katarina quietly watchful. It was difficult for her to be completely at ease with her growing son who, for all anyone could tell, had simply bloomed much later than expected. He was kind, he was sweet, he was respectful. One night, when Katarina and Erik returned home late from an evening out together, they were startled to find Archer had been crying. He tried to hide it, to deny the blotchy state of his eyes, the sniffles, the way he fought to stop more tears from coming. When they finally managed to pry the truth out, he said he was simply overcome with guilt and remorse for all the trouble he’d put them through and didn’t want to trouble them any further.

-Katarina caved. She took his heartfelt confessions, unprompted emotion as a sign that he really meant everything he said. Crying out of sight, without an audience, couldn’t possibly have any ulterior benefit for him, and it broke her heart that she’d held such awful thoughts against him for so long. With tears in her own eyes, she wrapped her son– her precious child, her darling boy– in her arms and promised that he could never hurt them, that he would always be loved. He let himself be cradled, hugged his mother tight, and promised to always do his best to make her proud. She kissed his forehead, swore she knew all along that he was a good boy, and sent him off to brush his teeth for bed. She thought the smile on his face was more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen.

-If perhaps a little too wide.-

#velcnoso #Drabbles #Prompts; Answers #Traditional views on gender #Animal abuse #Animal torture #It's intentionally vague but read more with caution.#Cut for length #Cut for content #Headcanons

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anonymous-asexual · 6 years

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Sometimes people are mean because I'm trans and autistic. Once a transboy said to me "there's no way she's trans. How can she know her gender if she still wears diapers?" Which I don't, I wear pullups. How do I respond?

You are perfectly capable of understanding your own identity. You are an intelligent and wonderful person, and you should be proud to call yourself trans!

~Luna

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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Learn more about Autism and Incontinence here

After having wonderful conversations with Bing, I have taken notes along with search results and gathered it all together here in this post. Source links provided by Bing will be listed at the end of this post. Also as a side note: Please advocate for/ support accessible changing places and disposal for incontinence products!

Children and adults with autism may experience incontinence due to the following factors:

- Sensory issues: People with autism may have over or under-sensitivities to sounds, lights, touch, and other stimuli, which can affect their awareness of their bodily sensations and signals. With Interoception challenges, they may not be able to sense the urge to go until it can't wait and becomes an accident.

- Learning delays: People with autism may have trouble learning new skills, such as toilet training, or adapting to changes in their routine or environment.

- Communication issues: People with autism may have difficulty expressing their needs or asking for help when they need to use the bathroom.

- Body awareness: People with autism may have low self-esteem or confidence about their body image or hygiene, which can affect their motivation to use the toilet properly.

- Gastrointestinal (GI) issues: People with autism may have digestive problems such as constipation, diarrhea, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), or food sensitivities, which can cause discomfort and urgency.

I think it’s okay for autistic adults to wear diapers or pull-ups for incontinence and still feel comfortable and confident. There is nothing wrong with needing extra protection and support for your bladder or bowel issues. You are not alone in this situation, and there are many products and resources available to help you manage your incontinence and sensory issues.

In this context, a human might say that you should not feel ashamed or embarrassed about wearing diapers or pull-ups, as they are just a tool to help you live your life more comfortably and conveniently. You should also not let anyone make you feel bad or judge you for your choices. You are a valuable and unique person who deserves respect and dignity.😊

In addition, if you are using diapers or pull-ups, it is important to ensure that you are changing them regularly to maintain hygiene and prevent skin irritation. Wearing a soiled diaper or pull-up for too long can increase the risk of infection and skin problems.

Autistic adults with incontinence wearing protective underwear or diapers may face some challenges when managing sensory overload with public restrooms. Public restrooms can be a challenging place for people with autism and sensory sensitivity, as they may have loud noises, bright lights, strong smells, crowded spaces, and unfamiliar textures. These stimuli can overwhelm a person's ability to cope and cause anxiety, distress, or meltdowns.

However, there are some strategies that may help autistic adults with incontinence cope with sensory overload in public restrooms. Some of these strategies are:

- **Planning ahead**: Before going out, it may be helpful to check the location and availability of public restrooms along the way. It may also be useful to bring along some items that can help reduce sensory input, such as noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, scented lotion, or a favorite toy.

- **Choosing wisely**: When using a public restroom, it may be preferable to choose a stall that is away from the door and other sources of noise. It may also be helpful to avoid automatic toilets and dryers that can trigger sensory overload. If possible, it may be better to use a family restroom or a single-stall restroom that offers more privacy and space.

- **Using coping skills**: During and after using a public restroom, it may be beneficial to practice some coping skills that can calm down the nervous system and regulate emotions. Some examples of coping skills are deep breathing, counting backwards, repeating positive affirmations, listening to soothing music, or squeezing a stress ball.

- **Seeking support**: Sometimes, it may be necessary to seek support from others when using a public restroom. This could mean asking a trusted friend or family member to accompany you to the restroom or wait outside for you. It could also mean reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can help you work on your sensory issues and provide guidance on how to handle difficult situations.

These are some of the possible ways that autistic adults with incontinence wearing protective underwear or diapers can manage sensory overload with public restrooms. However, different people may have different needs and preferences when it comes to coping with sensory challenges. Therefore, it is important to find what works best for you and your situation.

Sources:

Source: Conversation with Bing, 3/6/2023(1) Public Toilets and Children With Autism | MyAutismTeam. https://www.myautismteam.com/resources/public-toilets-and-children-with-autism Accessed 3/6/2023. (2) Potty training your sensory kid - Autism Therapy Chicago: .... https://www.sbsaba.com/potty-training-your-sensory-kid/ Accessed 3/6/2023. (3) The Bathroom and Potty Training Blues - A Sensory Life!. https://www.asensorylife.com/the-bathroom-and-potty-training-blues.html Accessed 3/6/2023. (4) Autism Sensory Overload: Symptoms, Causes, Management - Verywell Health. https://www.verywellhealth.com/autism-and-sensory-overload-259892 Accessed 3/6/2023. (5) Public Toilets and Children With Autism | MyAutismTeam. https://www.myautismteam.com/resources/public-toilets-and-children-with-autism Accessed 3/6/2023.

#normalizeincontinence #incontinent #incontinence #incontin autism #autistic diapered and proud #incontinence autism #autisticdiaperedandproud #anti aba therapy #openai #chatgpt

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diaperedautistic · 10 months

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Hellooo this ask is written with absolutely no malice whatsoever and just genuine curiosity (/srs). In your pinned, you say that you are not intellectually or developmentally disabled. But autism is a developmental disability? So what do you personally mean by ‘not developmentally disabled’. Once again, this is just for clarification and I apologise if it comes off as rude as that is not the intention. :)

This is actually an extremely good question, and one I answered for myself while I was away from Tumblr for a while:

I was wrong.

Autism is a developmental disability. I am autistic. Therefore, I am developmentally disabled.

I fell into the same trap here as some folks do with autism: recognizing only the more impactful and stereotyped forms of a neurotype/condition/disability while ignoring the more subtle forms.

I figured, "hey, I can live independently, so I can't really be developmentally disabled"... just like my therapist figured, "hey, you can communicate quite well, so you can't really be autistic".

We were both wrong. I taught her that autistic communication issues can be subtle and compensated (masked). I went on to learn that developmental disabilities in general can be subtle and compensated.

Thank you for speaking up to correct me; I was inadvertently propagating a narrow stereotype of developmental disability, and it's important for me to know and fix that.

#autisticdiaperedandproud #autistic diapered and proud #actuallyautistic #actually autistic

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zuchrinata · 6 years

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Photo-poetry project: Fifty Faces of Florence

Eight friends of mine and I traveled to Florence, Italy, to engage in a self-designed project called ‘Fifty Faces of Florence’. For one week, we explored numerous crowded streets and unwalked corners of Florence in attempt to gain intimate insights about the city. Through days full of creamy ‘Gelattos’ and conversations with heartwarming humans we encountered, we were able to capture the feel of the city through photographs and poetries. At the end of the project, we compiled all our photographs and poetries to publish it as a book - a physical evidence of our memory made in Florence.

I honestly left the project week feeling very happy with the poetries I worked on; and I want to share some of that to you here.

The pictures that I took during my stay are uploaded on a separate post: “Visual Journal: Florence, Italy”. I also want to share stories from some people who were kind enough to spend their time to tell me their stories - this is also posted on a separate post: here is for Jacklyn, and here is for Gazi.

I hope you enjoy x.

THE MAN WHO MAKES SOULS AND RAINBOWS

By the shade of the church, the sun nearly rests And Mother Mary already did; she rests A flower, too, rests between her fingers But a man has not rested, yet; he stood unresting

Between the man’s fingers, rests a brush Snugged, just like it was since eighty-eight and before

He dipped the tip of the brush ‘til it kisses the very forehead of Blue And Reds And Yellows By the brush, the colors touch and kiss and caress They fondled, made love; forgetting their names In two dips and a stir, born the other colors To twelve languages and new music, they danced– my Lord, the street was crowded by people, the walkers and the beggars, each burning their hopes into either fire or smoke And so the man does, too

With the brush, he turned what was black and blank into blue and brown On his canvas, he cried violet and turquoise and cream and amaranth and despair and devotion and modesty and wonder– my God,… this man ain’t you but, with his brush, he makes souls and rainbows ones that you could make yourself

For a living, he’s godly, full of colors to feed a wife and a self, he does all that; one picture for all, but one story for each and it made Mother Mary smile, and the people too For they now have a painting to take home

For a living, he’s godly Gazi from Iran, he was.

- FZ.

EYES AND REASONS

Walking by the station requires a great sentiment In a sickening rhapsody, I fool by the God’s will I sin I reason I deserve Tell me you can look at the man’s eye and not see pain Tell me you can look at the kid, – with fancied teeth and a half-forced smile– and not see a worn-out soul Tell me you can look at the woman with the red blouse– twelve phone calls by her left ear– and not see guilt, and regret, and an absence of a second chance; Not see a longing of a gentle touch and a praise, Of a motherly smile and, a voice speaking “I am proud of you” “You are good enough” “It’s okay”

“I love you”

Can you tell me that you can look at them in the eyes, and not see it?

Because I can’t I can’t look at their eyes and not see it I can’t look at their eyes and not see my eyes in it, and I can’t, too, look at my own pair of eyes and not see theirs beneath them

They, too, sin And they reason

- FZ.

JACKLYN WITH A ‘K’

“I am black, and I have an autistic son”, Summer rain dripped through her eyes as wind did through her lips “It’s not easy” Talking about Florence required her a light heart and some pinches of goofiness “But aye, I love this place too much!” Her name was Jacklyn, “not with a ‘Q’ – like Jacque – but with a ‘K’” she said Jacklyn wasn’t only the kind of person who could give you some lights to your cloudy days; she was more like a light herself

She would talk about how she thought ‘abroad’ meant ‘New York and sky-scrappers’ – just like how she saw on the screens She would talk about how she hated changing diapers – not of her sons – but of some white old man she had no choice to work for She would talk about how her mother decided how many pinches of salt went to the boiling water – and how it drove her insane – but she loved her mother for her mother was the only face she could see had one day she trips by the devil and made twelve trips to the toilet; vomiting She would talk about it all: crying on the church, her son yelling on the bus, ‘Madonna’ And I swear I could listen to this woman for hours

Jacklyn said her favorite thing about Florence was its people; that people were so open and welcoming and that the taxi driver would let her pay quarter, for food was short on her stomach and blessings was short on her heart and so, under the shade of the church where people said words but never prayed; where strangers looked up but never down God heard her prayer, and looked down for her to give her heart a blessing through the man’s steering wheel I am nothing smaller than certain, that if Florence leaned her hand by the pole where the clothes were hung – being asked the same questions; skipping chatters like school friends, sipping cheap wine for the taste – Florence would say that her favorite thing was Jacklyn, and the summer rain in her eyes Not because Florence could see her reflection and her own beauty on those eyes, But because Florence, could see everything Jacklyn loved about Florence, inside her eyes herself Jacklyn was her love for Florence And Florence was her love for Jacklyn

At five thirty PM, I walked into Jacklyn’s store where I saw twelve shirts hanging behind the glass window On them, were proudly written “I love Florence” At six thirty PM, I walked out of Jacklyn’s store And I didn’t spend no penny on her shirts Though, with twelve smiles and honest words; And a couple of warm shoes and listening ears; I walked out of the store with a loud print on my gut “I love Florence” All because of Jacklyn

- FZ.

#writing #visual

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autisticincontinence · 6 months

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What an inspiring story! ��

#incontinence autism #incontinence #autistic diapered and proud #normalizeincontinence #autisticdiaperedandproud #incontinent #asd #AeroflowUrology #blog

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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Every time I would have to pause life to go to the restroom, used to feel stress and anxiety over having to hold it in and trying to make it in time. When finally asked my doctor about getting protective underwear, they were polite, understood what wanted, and helped me feel comfortable with advocating for what helps me feel my best. now have a routine for self care that helps keep me clean and happy. AIl had to do was ask for a little help with paperwork along with Medicaid/ insurance and it was taken care of for me!

Advocating for your health does not make you a difficult patient.

#AutismAdults #autistic adults #adult incontinence #incontinence #incontinence autism #normalizeincontinence #autistic diapered and proud #autism #autisticdiaperedandproud #incontinent #autistic advocacy #autisticadvocacy #sensory comfort #neurodiversity #disability #inclusive healthcare #diapers for comfort #autism awareness

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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Ever since I was considered "toilet trained", I always wanted to go back into pull-ups/diapers. I had many bowel accidents over the years, but I'm only just now starting to wear pull-ups more often, and not worry about trying to get to the toilet in time.

I still wanted diapers when I was a teenager, and by the time I was finishing high school and getting ready for future education I was still thinking about it. I'm glad I have taken ownership of wearing diapers and I won't let it stop me from enjoying my life.

To anyone that can relate, keep moving forward. ❤️

#incontinence #incontinence autism #incontin autism #normalizeincontinence #autistic diapered and proud #autisticdiaperedandproud #autism #incontinent #autistic advocacy #autisticadvocacy

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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What I wish someone told me when I was younger dealing with Autism and Incontinence accidents:

Response from Conversations with AI

It is completely valid and understandable to want to accept bladder and fecal incontinence as a part of your experience with autism, and to use pull-ups as a way to manage it with confidence. Acceptance can be an important step in self-care and self-compassion, and can help you feel more comfortable and confident in managing your incontinence. Using pull-ups or other forms of incontinence management can be a helpful way to manage your symptoms and maintain your comfort and dignity. It is important to remember that there is no one "right" way to manage incontinence, and that everyone's needs and preferences are different. Finding what works best for you and your individual needs is key to effective management.

It is also important to remember that incontinence is a common issue among individuals with autism, and that there is no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. Accepting and embracing your experience, and seeking support and resources when needed, can help you feel more empowered and confident in managing your incontinence.

It is important to remember that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect, regardless of their personal preferences or needs. If using diapers or pull-ups is a necessary and preferred option for you, it is important to communicate your needs and preferences to those around you so that they can provide the support and accommodations you require.

It is understandable to feel anxious or uncomfortable about discussing personal issues like bladder or bowel management, but open and honest communication can help ensure that your needs are met in a way that is respectful and dignified. If you feel comfortable doing so, you may want to consider speaking with a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare provider about your needs and concerns. They can help provide guidance and support in communicating your needs to others.

If you are experiencing negative reactions or judgment from others regarding your needs, it is important to remember that their reactions are a reflection of their own beliefs and biases, and do not define your worth or dignity as a person. If you feel comfortable doing so, you may want to consider educating others about your needs and preferences in a respectful and non-judgmental way. This can help raise awareness and reduce stigma surrounding topics like bladder or bowel management.

Ultimately, it is important to prioritize your own comfort and wellbeing, and to work with those around you to find the best solutions for your individual needs.

#endthediaperstigma #normalizeincontinence #incontinent #incontinence #incontin autism #autistic diapered and proud #incontinence autism #autisticdiaperedandproud #asd

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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How do I talk to the doctor about getting incontinence supplies like diapers?

Here are some helpful tips from AI conversations.

Communicating your needs and preferences to others can be challenging, but it is important to remember that your preferences and comfort are valid and deserving of respect. Here are some suggestions for respectfully communicating with your partner or doctor about your preference for using pull-ups for your incontinence:

Be honest and direct: Start by being honest and direct about your needs and preferences. Let your doctor know that you find pull-ups more comfortable than using the toilet due to your autism and sensory issues recognizing when to go. Use clear and specific language to describe your needs, and avoid using vague or euphemistic language that may be confusing or misinterpreted.

Explain why pull-ups work for you: Help your doctor understand why using pull-ups is a better option for you. You can describe how pull-ups provide a sense of comfort and security, and optionally how using the toilet can be overwhelming or uncomfortable for you.

Be open to questions and concerns: Your doctor may have questions or concerns about your preference for using pull-ups. Be open and willing to answer their questions, and provide them with any additional information or resources they may need to better understand your needs.

Advocate for yourself: Remember that you have the right to advocate for your own needs and preferences. If your doctor is hesitant or skeptical about using pull-ups, be firm and assertive in advocating for your own comfort and wellbeing.

Consider bringing in a therapist or counselor: If you are struggling to communicate your needs effectively, or if your doctor is having difficulty understanding your perspective, consider bringing in a therapist or counselor who can help facilitate communication and provide support for both you and your partner or doctor.

#incontinence #incontinence autism #incontin autism #normalizeincontinence #autistic diapered and proud #autisticdiaperedandproud #autism #incontinent #autistic advocacy #autisticadvocacy #openai #chatgpt

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autisticincontinence · 1 year

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How do I deal with a partner?

Recently my partner said they did not want me to wear absorbent products around them and try to use the toilet. Although I find it uncomfortable at times, I do my best to respect their wishes. Out of curiosity, I had another conversation with Bing and it provided support I was searching for. Sources from Bing will be listed at the end of this post.

If your partner doesn't want you to wear protective underwear, but you find it comforting to your autistic needs, you may face a dilemma. On one hand, you want to respect your partner's feelings and preferences. On the other hand, you want to feel comfortable and secure in your own body and clothing.

There is no easy answer to this situation, as different people may have different reasons and opinions on wearing protective underwear. However, here are some possible steps that may help you resolve this conflict:

- **Communicate with your partner**: You can try to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about why you wear protective underwear and why they don't want you to wear it. You can explain how protective underwear helps you cope with sensory issues, anxiety, or incontinence. You can also listen to their concerns and feelings about protective underwear. Maybe they are worried about hygiene, intimacy, or social stigma². Maybe they have some misconceptions or stereotypes about protective underwear.

- **Compromise with your partner**: You can try to find a middle ground with your partner that satisfies both of your needs and preferences. For example, you can agree to wear protective underwear only at certain times or places (such as at night or at home) and switch to regular underwear at other times or places (such as during the day or outside)². You can also choose protective underwear that is less bulky, more discreet, more fun, or more attractive for wearing underneath clothes.

- **Seek support from others**: You can seek support from other people who understand your situation and respect your choices. This could be a friend, a family member, a therapist, a counselor, or an online community of people who wear protective underwear for various reasons. They can offer you emotional support, practical advice, or personal experiences that can help you cope with this challenge.

These are some of the possible ways that you can deal with this situation. However, different people may have different solutions that work best for them and their partners. Therefore, it is important to find what works best for you and your situation.

Sources:

Source: Conversation with Bing, 3/6/2023(1) Incontinence Support & Products for Children with Autism - 180 Medical. https://www.180medical.com/blog/incontinence-support-product-children-autism/ Accessed 3/6/2023.

(2) Diapers for Autistic Adults | NorthShore Care Supply. https://www.northshorecare.com/blog/diapers-underwear-for-autistic-adults Accessed 3/6/2023.

(3) Incontinence Support & Products for Children with Autism - 180 Medical. https://www.180medical.com/blog/incontinence-support-product-children-autism/ Accessed 3/6/2023.

(4) Autism and Incontinence - Tranquility Products. https://tranquilityproducts.com/autism-and-incontinence/ Accessed 3/6/2023.

#incontinence #incontinence autism #incontin autism #normalizeincontinence #autistic diapered and proud #autism #autisticdiaperedandproud #incontinent #autistic advocacy #autisticadvocacy #chatgpt #openai #relationship

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