#asexuality isnt real

[dreamsy990]

some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

#doodles #kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #olette #aromantic #asexual #aroace #do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel #ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you #also not tagging soriku and namixi #i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so #anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette #i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette #so let me clarify about this comic #im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before #im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts #thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes #im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while #anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive #sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow #this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled #drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024 #btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately #schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time #i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times #alright i think thats it bye now

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

#sorry just have to say this lol #so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse #its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum #the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about #if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that #but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck #the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there #i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed- #and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!' #like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace. #ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality #sometimes yall just be making shit tf up #complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones #but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid. #their* </3 #obviously the reply is fucking disgusting #i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv #people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON #u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong #not everyone is the fucking same. #non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific #like actually fuck u #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #meowing (yapping)

[theorahsart]

My silly little excerpt from my book about being asexual went viral on twitter and like, has got to that point of reaching 'the outside' lol

Like it's passed the Asexual networks, who didn't need smth spelled out to understand/trust that I do in fact, deeply love my gf.

which means:

a) uneducated queer ppl are taking it to be some kind of education resource on asexuality and not just a tiny 2 page excerpt from a huge book, n so are making giant assumptions about how I personally feel towards my girlfriend of 10 years

b) teens/young ppl with no experience in long term relationships, who are still full of raging hormones, and so think sex is THE ONLY difference between romance and friendship, are making giant assumptions about how I personally feel towards my girlfriend of 10 years

c) Straight men who think queer people are messed up in the head and have that weird entitlement thing where they assume woman/femme ppl must center their sexuality and romantic feelings entirely around the straight guys own feelings, are making giant assumptions about how I personally feel towards my girlfriend of 10 years

And yeah there's only so many times I can see ppl call my relationship "just a friendship" before I wanna tear my hair out lol

Please you silly immature ppl. I'm 34, I know my feelings and have many friends whom I have great connections with...it's just...it's just not the same lol There's only so much we can tell you in words or pictures that it *feels different to the love you have for friends*

you'll just, somehow, have to imagine that the world doesn't revolve around only your experience, and trust that if someone feels deeply that it's different to friendship, then yes it probably is lol

#you know how historians look at gay ppl in history n say “oh it was just a close friendship you silly you #looking into it way too much #me a straight person understands it soooo much better than you“ #its like that but fucking x100 cos its my beloved partner who Ive built a life with #I cant think of anything more dismissive or disrespectful than telling someone that what they feel isnt real #or telling someone that you know how someone feels better than they do #grrrrrr #asexual #asexuality

[azpherambles]

Feel like I have something to say about how off it feels when people are like 'being ace doesnt mean you hate sex / are sex repulsed'

Like yeah, true! Being ace is not necessarily that.

But... no one ever seems to really, discuss sex repulsion outside of that. Which feels wierd. Sex repulsion makess me feel infinitely more queer and isolated than not experiencing sexual attraction, a thing I really just don't think about and rarely affects me.

But sex repulsion? Literally impossible to go a day without seeing a post mentioning something to do with sex. On a bad day, which are thankfully few, I simply cannot look at things, or even talk to people, without feeling like knives are jamming into all of my nerve endings.

And the thing no one ever, ever mentions is that sex repulsion does not mean unhorny. Do we even have a term for people who don't experience horniness? Asexuality as a spectrum seems to actually just be a filling bar between experiencing or not experiencing a single metric that isn't super relevant at all.

That's wierd right? Like, there are so many parts of sexuality that never seems to come up or even be searchable. There are infinite genders and searching sex repulsion is desolate, aside from 'its not asexuality' and 'do you need to be cured?'

There is nothing more isolating or queer in me than the seemingly lonesome experience of experiencing something that I desperately hate and yet cannot imagine being without. Its close to my experience of transness, but even that at least comes with a community and resources.

'I hate even the mention of sex, but I like it theoretically, I want to be able to like it, I don't know what to do about this' is just.

Empty.

#i dont really have a point to this #its just wierd #i wonder just how many ace people are either sex repulsed or dont experience horniness #it feels like so many ace experiences i find relatable have nothing to do with not experiencing attraction #this isnt a 'ace isnt real' thing obviously #more like its wierd how narrow the definition is #'ace isnt sex repulsion' but why not? i find it hard to believe someone who experiences attraction but is repulsed by sex is going to be an #less ace than someone who is fine with it but is disconnected from the desire for it #sex repulsion #asexuality

[actual-corpse]

Really fucking tired of people erasing the CANNON ACE character's Asexuality.

At my fucking limit.

#its rude #yall simp so hard for that red fucker but you cant respect him enough to let him be ace #a QPR is fine #but that isnt what I see #those ships are clearly not platonic #asexual #ace #theyre real #they exist #let them be

[scarlct-vvitch]

fictional romance: ✨💓💘💗♥️💖✨💖💓⭐

real romance: 🤢😰😵‍💫👎😵😩🤢😱👎

#yes this is an aromantic take #i could write about other people's romances for an eternity #but real life isnt the same and never will be lmao #it will just never hit right #the closeness and intimacy fictional couples have is enviable #and sometimes i catch myself wanting thag #*that #and i like the idea of having someone in my corner #but i dont want a romantic relationship #and sometimes that sucks #oh shush #aromanticism #asexuality #aromantic #asexual #aroace

[dullahandyke]

gritting my teeth i dont have to make a post every time i see a bad take. but i want to

#'if some lesbians are attracted to men then men will think it means lesbianism isnt real' they ALREADY think that #they would look for another excuse if u got rid of that one #like i dont know where i stand on the line between bi and lesbian and i dont care to draw that distinction! #its already likely to be asexuality coming in with the steel chair but aside from that i dont care! #defining an unclear identity by slapping a bunch of specific labels together is as useful as doing so by using a vague label or no labels

[caffeinatedopossum]

Watching a video about asexual erasure and asexuality in general but they keep saying there's "no conversion therapy for asexuality" and I'm just. There is though. There has been for ages. It's just called therapy though because guess what, a lot (like A LOT a lot) of people still think it's a mental illness or something that needs to or inevitably will be changed

#your local exhausted asexual #i might just go off about some things later because im really fucking tired of these things being overlooked #people say aphobia isnt real just because it looks different than homophia/biphobia/etc and im just #yeah im gonna go off

[oddsnake]

if you're ok with asexuals having (consensual) sex with ppl they're not (sexually) attracted to, but suddenly not ok when it's people of any other sexuality having the same consensual sex with ppl they're not (sexually) attracted to. then maybe you should think really hard about why

#something something 'sex is what makes us human' bullshit #you close eyes on ace ppl having consensual sex bc deep down you believe that asexuality isnt a real sexuality and we need to be 'fixed' #but when its about sex workers or ppl helping each other release stem then suddenly its Not Ok? hmm

[youtubian4ever]

I'm only ace because sex isn't anything like what Måneskin says it is 😩

#asexual #måneskin #ace #seriously thier music FUCKS and im sad real sex isnt like that

[timeisacephalopod]

I've kinda seen some pushback to the idea of representation in media and I don't necessarily think it's bad to point out actual rights are more important than Disney's thousandth first gay character that's fine, but I've had a LOT of people comment on my works about asexual characters and tell me what I wrote changed their life-and it's always that phrase- because they now have the language to describe what they feel. I've had people who ARENT ace or aro comment that what I wrote finally made a concept they didn't understand make sense, or that the way I explained things was interesting and enlightening and I'm kind of a mediocre writer who hasn't written anything in ages.

Like idk, if reading something from a writer who is fucking around and only somewhat talented can genuinely impact someone because they've not seen anything like them reflected back at them in life or media I don't think pushing for representation in media is as "needless" as some people seem to think and caring about that doesn't mean you don't care about more "important" (although if you think seeing people like you in media ISNT important it's because you already have that representation or are privileged enough to not care if you do, in which case maybe pipe down) stuff. Hell, I even got a Facebook message ages ago from someone who found a comment I left in an ace group about QPR's and what they meant to me and how I perceived them and the person no joke said what I wrote two years before they even found it changed their life forever because they finally knew what kind of relationship they actually wanted.

So like sure, of course there's always bigger fish to fry them diversity in media (you know, like diversity in real life lol) but I don't think it's as frivolous as some people are beginning to act like it is. At least not if you're an aspec person it's not, I STILL don't see ace characters almost ever and I'll bet my whole everything if I asked a writer of a show why they'd tell me that EVERYONE has to be in a sexual relationship and characters that aren't won't sell and are boring- I say this because in film school I had a teacher TELL ME every character needed to basically be sex obsessed and when I pointed out a GREAT MANY CHARACTERS are not revolved around sex (Supernatural stars two brothers, I pointed out) and when she asked if I had love interests I was like ??? That doesn't matter- using my aforementioned supernatural example almost all their love interests die or get mind wiped because at the end of the day that's not what the story was about. So actually I think writers who act like that teacher need like 50 reality checks, and representation in stories isn't unimportant and also support indie writers you'll probably find more funky shit there then Disney anyway lmao.

And also even the asexual characters I DO see in media don't remind me at all of myself even if I appreciate the effort, but they never feel real or genuine and their sexuality doesn't get a lot of exploration so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I actually could use more media focused on characters that I can genuinely see my sexuality reflected in in a meaningful and narratively impactful way because I've got nothing.

#winters ramblings #todd from bojack horseman im sure is SOMEONES version of asexuality but i dont see ANYTHING of myself in him #great character dont get me wrong but not relatable to me on any level including our shared sexuality #sex ed got a bit closer with their brief ace character although maybe she got more exploration in season three or four?? #the latest one i havent watched lmao. but being closer and having a moment wjere shes told shes not broken #while DEEPLY vindicating isnt necessarily all im looking for either #like i wamt a REAL character thats ace or aro or both thats written by people who UNDERSTAND what theyre writting #not just well meaning people who dont know what theyre doing its kind of tiring #also idk why theres no dating shows with gay men because reality dating shows are ALL ABOUT who fucks who and who gets together #gay men would be hooking up ALL OVER THE PLACE and the DRAMA youd think reality tv freaks would be SALIVATING #but no none of that lmao. just ru pauls drag race and thats great it is like its not my bag but people love it #back on yrack though the weord blowback representation is getting is strange and its VERY clear to me #the people writing those posts havent gotten dozens on dozens of messages from people like them who found their writing #and haf their life altered forever for the better because someone who KNOWS what theyre talking about wrote a character like them #and it opened doors they never knew existed. doesnt even need to happen with fiction either i had a friend i had in toronto #tell me the info i sent to her on being aromantic changed her life- THAT'S the phrase i keep getting thats TELLING- because it describefld #described** how shes felt her whole life but didnt have words for. how frivolous IS representation if im getting these messages? #not very i dont think if some rsndom indie fic writer who hadnt written anything substantial in years can change someones life #REPEATEDLY might i add. ive been getting a LOT of messages like this lately and seeing this new bramd of discourse latetly too #like maybe YALL have enough that you dont care anymore but speak for your fucking selves

[thatone-highlighter]

Having no bearing on whats considered „normal“ is fun sometimes because ill live my life assuming something is just a silly thing made up or exaggerated for tv and movies and then i have a conversation with someone and find out no, thats a normal thing people do/thing that happens

#it happens. so often guys #so many things are more like ‚no America is just Like That‘ but theres others that are just #im the odd one out #turns out beinh transgender autistic aromantic asexual and from Australia in a world that centers american cis straight teenagers on tv #gives one a warped perception on reality #i didnt know corn mazes were real #the prevalance of summer camp movies makes more sense now #the high school sport stuff isnt reaööy a thing here but we Do have harry potter houses except nobody gives a shit #didnt know teenagers actually snuck out at night or said shit to their parents like that irl #i mean kid me also thought crushes were made up for tv so maybe its just me #Tree Man Posts