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mack3030 · 3 years

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Things the Sims 4 Community Can Do About Paywalls...A Post...

[This is going to be a bit long, so you may want to save it and read it when you have time, or just...you know, buckle in.]

I thought I would ring in the new year by talking about something that I feel we as a community need to finally decide on. (It’s been debated since 2017 or so, and it’s now 2021...) I’d like, if possible, to try to suggest some real solutions and choices that we can make that will hopefully create a better and more honest community out of all of us. Now I would like to start by making some postulates. In geometry, postulates are facts that do not need proven with a mathematical proof. They are assumed to be true. Thomas Jefferson and the founding fathers would call these “Self-Evident Truths”. I would like to use these as a bit of a basis for my arguments.

Truth: The Sims 4 has been enough of a cash cow for EA. If you buy the base game ($40) plus all expansion packs (40 each x 10) + all game packs (20 each x 9) + all stuff packs (10 each x 17) you would come to a total of seven hundred and 90 dollars ($790) plus tax. This is of course, without sales, bundling, etc, which many people DO take advantage of, but STILL. That is a TON of money for EA’s pockets. EA makes a majority of its money on the fact that the Sims 4 is an “incomplete game”. It “completes” the game further and further by adding more “expansions” to the game to the point that it seems almost useless to buy the base game alone without adding to it.

Even with sales and other things, it’s easy to spend over $500 dollars on the sims 4 game + expansions. Still a lot of cash for a game that is years old. This is just money that is spent on the game that goes to EA. This does not account for: * Money spent to buy a new computer because your old one wouldn’t run the sims. * Money spent supporting CC artists who have donations open or early access. * Money spent on access to sites that have ads/paywalls/exclusive sims 4 CC such as Leosims, etc. (Which are the problem, frankly)

We should be able to respect the fact that a majority of us paid a hefty amount for this game. It is unfair, and frankly greedy to REQUIRE people to pay MORE just to unlock or gain access to specific user created content.

I am not talking about a VOLUNTARY support or donation because they like what you offer. I am talking about FORCING people to pay if they want to ever be able to use the CC or mod you offer.

Now, the typical defense for this is “Well, I’m an artist! I spend time/effort/etc working hard on these meshes, the code, etc to make this content!” Which leads me to point #2.

Truth: Mods, CC, and other content for the Sims 4 are useless without the game. Once they are created/uploaded to the game, all copyright to those objects IMMEDIATELY transfers to EA.

I teach art in a Missouri public school. Our state standards dictate that when art students are in middle school grades, they have to learn about copyright, fair use, and creative commons. While I am not a copyright lawyer, I have had to learn enough about this subject to teach it. So allow me to break down a few facts about copyright:

First, when ya make it, ya own it. There’s not a process to apply for a copyright. The moment you create something that is 100% your own work, you hold the copyright to it.

Second, when you make something that is created based off of or USING someone else’s intellectual property as a reference or resource it is a fan creation. In art, we call this “fanart”. It is not 100% your own work. Someone else’s intellectual property is involved.

Fan creations always have tread a very thin and shadowy line when it comes to different companies and the legality of them. You can easily search google for various articles explaining it, but to summarize it in a short method:

Most companies do not actively go after those who create fan creations unless they are making profits that could instead be going to the creators of the intellectual property. If the fan creation is discovered to be making profits and/or taking the intellectual property in a direction the creator does not approve of, they have legal options to pursue (court, cease and desist letters, etc).

Third, Copyright can be transferred from person to person. In most cases this is done through a written document that both parties sign, however there IS an exception to this that EA uses to allow itself to transfer your copyrights to your content to them:

EA’s agreement with you is non-exclusive, meaning that the moment you hit “agree” on the sims 4 terms and conditions, you have handed over your rights to any CC you create for the game.

If you want to maintain full creative rights over the mesh/mods/etc you make then, you have to not make that content for the sims 4 and make your own platform to host it on. This is way easier said than done.

Truth: There have been various examples in the past of CC creators who have stolen meshes, bases, bits/pieces of work, or “inspiration” for CC from other sites/companies, who have been called on it publicly.

The most recent event concerning this was drama concerning itsbrandysims and their use of meshes from imvu/secondlife (you can see my opinion on the subject HERE), but there have been other documented cases. Leosims, for example, has been listed as an example of someone taking meshes from secondlife creators and reuploading them (when it was told to me, I was shown THIS thread as evidence). Another well known creator was accused by a former sims 4 cc creator (who now makes content from second life), and was called out in THIS post in 2019.

The horrible part of this? Many of these creators are charging people (often at not so great rates as well), for STOLEN content. Content they don’t even own, that they ripped from another place. This should not be accepted by a community that loves a game as much as the Sims 4 community. Truth: EA has provided a way for people to make money while not hiding content behind paywalls entirely, and the INTENT of this was to OFFSET COSTS. Almost every post about content locked behind paywalls features this post found on the Sims Forum from 2017. In it, SimGuruDrake, who was the community manager at the time (she has since left the Sims 4 team for another job). Most of you who have seen this discussion topic before know this post by heart, but I’d like to highlight one important aspect of it:

One thing that is always important about communication is the intent behind it. The intent for people to be allowed to make patreons and allow early access wasn’t so people could just make money for themselves, the idea was to offset costs to buy programs to make the content. For example, a yearly subscription to Adobe Creative Cloud (which has photoshop, illustrator, etc) costs a couple hundred dollars US a year. If someone was using photoshop to help them create their CC in addition to blender or other free programs, EA/Maxis wanted to allow the creator to not have to pay for making the CC out of pocket. Can EA/Maxis control what people spend the money they make off of patreon on? No. But it should be noted that the intent of this action was to help people pay for supplies for their hobby more than to make a business out of it.

Onto the next truth! Truth: There is an image that disputes this post above, however the authenticity of it and timing of it are very disputed.

This image is often thrown around by people who lock content behind paywalls, but I would like to take a second and try to provide an honest assessment of it. First of all, I have a bit of a problem with the fact that the original person who “messaged” SimGuruDrake this question has not been identified. This image was not posted on the tumblr of a CC creator who claimed “Hey I reached out to a sims guru and this is the answer I got!” The main pages that have this image are either tweets from CC creators using it to defend their stance on paywalls (ex: here), or tumblrs/tweets “debunking it” (ex: here, here). I even reverse image searched this image using google, and another platform and could not figure out where this originated from. Of course, I’m not an expert, but...still.

The fact that the origin of this picture is unknown casts doubt on it. If it were a well known CC maker who is known for being honest, that’s one thing. But the fact that we don’t exactly know where it came from is suspicious. Because frankly, anyone with some decent editing ability could photoshop this.

Here’s my imperfect edit, but I’m just a self-taught graphics nerd and I am not as dedicated at faking screenshots as some. (And the crap photo quality didn’t help.) Another common issue is that at the supposed “time” that this question was being asked, some state that SimsGuruDrake had already left the Sims 4 team. I will admit, this photo is within the correct timeline, as SimsGuruDrake did not officially depart the sims 4 team until February 2018. (There is a post on the sims forums that has a timestamp that confirms this.) But, if you were in the process of leaving your job within the next month (as a two week/30 day notice is common when leaving a job), would you REALLY be answering questions in DMs on twitter, or be focusing on packing up, and training your successor? The last thing that really makes me doubt the validity of this picture is the fact that it’s not really easy to message the sims gurus on Twitter. This appears to be twitter from the screenshot (although there are some things that are a little out of place from the current UI): But when I attempt to direct message a sims guru I get this message:

I even tried seeing if I could reach out via DM to Drake herself, (who now posts under a different twitter) to see if it was possible:

Could the policies have changed since 2018? Possibly, but I feel that opening up direct messages is just asking for Sims 4 team members to get angry messages, so this could very well be a long running EA policy. I have also reached out to her via a twitter tag (as of 1/2/21), and will update y’all if I get a reply:

Okay, so now that we’ve gone through all of this, let’s talk about the last truth that’s really important: Truth: Putting content behind paywalls has generally been considered disgusting by many in the sims 4 community, and TAKES AWAY the choice of people to support CC creators they love/appreciate WILLINGLY. A few notable posts sharing the disgust with this practice can be found: HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE & HERE). And these are just what I can find from a simple precursory search.

Okay, Brainiac. So what can we do to solve this problem?

Well, there’s a few methods we can employ, and sadly, it’s going to take a bit of a commitment and concentrated effort from the community.

Step #1: Make the COMMUNITY the VICTIM instead of EA.

Now when I say this, I don’t mean we’re actually victims, but mean that instead of constantly saying things like “WHEN YOU DO THIS YOU VIOLATE EA’S TOU!”, thus making EA the “victim” of the crime. We change the dialog to saying “When you lock stuff behind paywalls, you cheat the sims 4 community and disrespect their choice to support you or not.” Because let’s be honest. Maxis/EA really doesn’t give much of a care about if people aren’t following this rule. You can report people to the team, but as far as most people have seen, it doesn’t get anywhere. But if we make it where the community is the party being “wronged” it is much harder for those who have paywalls to not be scared. Because the community, in the end, has to be with them. DepthofPixels had a really amazing post about this HERE.

Step 2: Decide to not support anyone who puts their content behind exclusive paywalls and do not hesitate to spread the word about why you choose not to do so.

By that, I mean

not paying any patreon accounts that don’t offer either their content 100% for free, or offer early access.

And sharing about why you choose to do that on your social media. Something I might suggest would be to make it a bit personal and share something like:

Instead of spending $15 a month to get exclusive content from Leosims (or any other patreon/paywall creator here) I’m spending that $15 supporting creator x, creator y, and creator z, who don’t put their work behind paywalls!

Link their patrons, share why you like their content, and why you take the stance to make the community better. Make it a positive thing, praising the people who are doing RIGHT by the community.

Yes, you may not get their content for a while (although there are some different places (

) to find them *cough*. But in the end, is it worth supporting someone’s content when they’re treating the community badly?

Step 3: Report creators who actively steal content from IMVU/secondlife to those respective companies, and all others to EA. (Even though nothing may happen.)

Here’s the deal. When people steal from either of those sites, they are infringing on someone’s copyright, as well as Imvu/secondlife’s copyright as well. It’s not okay, and they should be held accountable for it. Here’s the LINK for submitting a ticket to Secondlife. I haven’t been able to find one for IMVU, but maybe someone else will find one. Let those companies know and allow them to handle those specific creators. As to the other creators, EA may not handle them at the moment. But IF (and this is a wishful thinking “if”) there were suddenly a flood of messages about certain creators...? I think they might have to pay attention to some of those messages. There is an official report form, but it might even be worth tweeting to SleddingGuruFrost, who is the current community manager asking about their stance on paywalls. And last but not least:

Step 4: Make sure that those who are doing the right thing and not putting their work behind paywalls feel appreciated. Show them some love via a tumblr ask, or by tagging them on twitter, or by going up a tier on their patreon (or pledging for the first time). Celebrate these heroes who are creating content and not forcing it on us.

Us asking for people to give us a choice to support them isn’t being greedy, or disrespecting their time. We just want transparency, and respect from those who create content for the game we love so much versus them treating us like we’re just a source of income. I know it might seem a bit hard to do this for some of you, and for some it may seem like I’m preaching to the choir, but we have to decide where we stand on this issue and stop letting those who abuse this system keep doing it. We can make a difference if we decide as a COMMUNITY to work together.

With commitment, ~Sunny

#sims4cc #sims4mm #maxismatch #sims4alpha #sims4cccommunity #paywallssuck #downwithpatreon #EA #maxis #TOS #thievessuck

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calpops · 4 years

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falling facade | c.h.

part five: falling fame

part one: falling flowers | part two: falling freedom | part three: falling fears | part four: falling failures

5k words

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Calming waves crashed on the shore line; Calum’s gaze would have been trained on the sea but Arden sat next to him in the soft light of the evening. A few weeks had passed since their last scheduled promotional post—the picture of them with Duke and the ring in sight had gone over well. They had found time away from the facade and with each other. Arden found solace in the quiet of Calum’s home in comparison to the chaos of Michael’s. Calum welcomed her, often inviting her, sometimes with the ruse of the fake engagement and sometimes all pretenses were dropped in favor of being real. All the time spent together offered new and old knowledge. Calum was finding memories with Arden he hadn’t remembered in ages. He was learning things from the years they were strangers.

“I can’t believe our parents are coming to check on us,” Arden said around a sigh as her fingers dug into the soft sand they sat on. “It’s like we’re twelve and in trouble.”

Calum chuckled at her thought and shifted to angle himself closer to her, to see her better and catch glimpses of the diamond on her finger sifting in and out of the sand. Her cheeks were pink from the day in the sun they had, hair pulled up in a messy bun atop her head and eyes guarded by sunglasses. They had stayed at Calum’s for most of the afternoon but a settled feeling of stir craziness engulfed both of them. Calum suggested the beach and when Arden scrunched up her nose and made a comment about it being packed and filled with tourists Calum smiled and promised his beach wouldn’t be. It was just a small sliver of sand tucked past a pier; only a few people ever ventured to the other side. It was quiet and desolate when they arrived.

“I can’t believe they’ve held off for so long,” Calum rebutted and ate up the raised eyebrow and crooked smirk Arden gave him in response. “Figure my mum would’ve hopped a flight the night the first picture was posted. Really going on a month without parents intervening is just short of a miracle.”

“I guess,” she said with a shrug as grains of sand slipped through her fingers and back to the earth. Calum watched as she lazily ran one finger through the grains, an indent of a scribble following her finger. “I don’t know what we’re going to tell them.”

Calum nodded, more to himself as thoughts consumed him, and shifted once more. His parents had laid off the questioning when it became apparent he couldn’t give them the answers they were looking for. Hence the surprise visit just in time with Arden’s parents' sudden decision to fly out as well. Calum and Arden knew it was planned, that they had called each other behind their backs with only concern and questions as motivation. It was too convenient to not be a joint check up. He didn’t know what they were going to tell them either. He had held his own parents off by telling them they were figuring things out; being a bit evasive and leaving explanations open ended and up for interpretation.

“What have you told your parents so far?” Calum asked, eyes content to stay on Arden as she wiggled her bare feet in the sand and her finger stalled in its scribbling motion.

“Not much,” she admitted and shrugged. “I didn’t really know what to say so I didn’t say much of anything. Sometimes I don’t answer. Sometimes I just let them talk at me.”

The difference in their methods was striking. Calum leaned back, hands hitting the warm sand and sinking in with his weight. Arden went completely still and contemplative. Calum did some thinking as well. It would be so easy to keep up the narrative they had going. The month they had spent together brought them closer and made the fake relationship feel all the more real; especially in moments where guards were down and the only eyes on them were each others’. Calum could very easily pretend the ring on her finger was real but they were still unsure if they were going forward. Arden had been the one to sway him into telling half truths; asked him to keep secrets so she wouldn’t disappoint her parents. And he had been the one to beg her and convince her into the fake relationship in the first place; it had been his words and pleading gazes that made her signature appear on the contracts.

“We don’t need to tell them everything,” Calum suggested and Arden’s mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Stick with what they do know and keep playing it vague.”

Arden shrugged and looked past Calum; her eyes were distant past dark lenses but he knew she was staring off at the sea. Taking in the waves and the way the light of the day faded and shifted to rosy hues that made everything glimmer with a tint of pink. It brought back memories of an abstract painting hanging in the Clifford house; a piece of art designed by gentle hands.

“Is that really what you want to do?” Arden asked and took the sunglasses off her face, perched them on her head and gave new life to hazel eyes. She gave Calum a serious glance, one that asked even more questions than the single sentence she had uttered. “I know you’re really close with your family. It’ll be a lot harder to keep up the act in person. We could just tell them and get the disappointment out of the way. Maybe it’s better to do it sooner rather than later.”

Calum considered her words deeply. He knew it would be strange to evade the entire truth with his family; he was nearly certain Mali wasn’t buying anything that he came up with for explanation and could read past the headlines and tabloids. Calum almost took her up on the offer, but the way her hazel eyes went glossy and her teeth sank into her lower lip stopped him. He shook himself, reminded himself of the deal he had made in his own mind. He brought Arden into this; whether or not it was his idea to get the ring and post the photo—they were both still hazy on that front—it was his management they were appeasing. To keep her safe. From the media, from management, from fans and friends and family.

“We might as well keep playing it the way we have,” Calum suggested even though the words burned the back of his throat just a bit. “We can tell them all of it when we’re ready. They’ll understand. What with the contracts and everything.”

Everything being the confusion that clung to Calum. Being the sense of protectiveness he had developed for Arden. The extremes they were fighting against. Arden let out a breath of relief and Calum knew he made the right decision and chose the right words.

“Thank you,” she said with unwavering eye contact that instilled even more faith in the path they were following.

They held gazes for a moment; the nervous fluttering and heat in Calum’s chest made him look away. Back to the ocean that reminded him of swirls of paint and moments he was starting to remember. He didn’t know how many times he had passed Arden’s painting in the hallway of the Clifford house. Only now, when it was out of sight did he pay it any mind. Arden stretched out beside him, let her hands fall behind her as she leaned back before eventually completely collapsing into the sand in a gentle fall. Her arms went behind her head and Calum was tempted to follow suit but found the view from above too good to miss. His eyes flitted between the evening settling in the sky and Arden lounging in the sand.

“It almost looks like your painting, huh?” He asked, unable to stop the thought from tumbling out of his mouth.

“Hm?” She let out a noise of confusion as she looked up at him.

“The one you did; in the hall at your parents place,” he explained and felt warmth crawl through him, up from his chest to stain his cheeks. “It looked like an ocean sunset to me.”

Arden pursed her lips and let her eyes drift off to the waves glittering with sunset. “Right. That hasn’t been in the hallway for years. Think a record plaque or some music award replaced it a while ago.”

Calum fell silent at that; suddenly immersed in the reality that Arden was his bandmate’s sister and her life had been just as much altered with the rise of the band as theirs had. He hadn’t been to the Clifford residence since their careers took off and they found places of their own. He couldn’t picture the wall with anything but abstract waves and colors that caught and kept attention. Even with a plaque or award that was sure to dominate the wall and domineer confidence Calum thought the wall would feel empty. He noted the downturn of her lips and the way she wouldn’t meet his gaze; something so unnatural for them.

“I always liked it,” Calum said to fill the silence and speak a truth and realization.

“It’s nothing special,” she said and Calum could hear the sentiment of comparing it to the band related piece that claimed its spot. “Art is just a hobby. I’m really not that good.”

The doubt of her own abilities left a lingering ache in Calum’s chest. He yearned to take the sting of her words away, to erase the frown and call her gaze back to his. But she was quiet and watching the water, the even rise and fall of her chest finding rhythm with the rise and crash of waves breaking on the shoreline. Calum bit his lip for a moment.

“I’d like a painting like it,” he decided to say, knowing exactly where it would go and how often he would admire it. He kept his eyes on her as she blushed and finally looked at him.

“Really?”

He nodded and she nodded back; made a half promise that maybe she could do that for him. Her frown disappeared but there was still an air of hurt that captured her. They settled into a somber silence where only the waves made noise between them. The sun was still out; just a touch of light gracing the evening and glittering the beach in a rose gold haze. It was quiet and unknown, hardly anyone lingered on their side of the pier and no one intruded on their business. Calum’s promise that it would be just them was basically fulfilled. Until his eyes swept the sand down the shoreline and found a girl with her phone pointed right at him. At them. Calum’s blood ran fiery through his veins, instincts running wild as he knew the camera was capturing their every move.

“Arden,” he said, trying to keep the panic from his voice so as not to alarm her; so she would stay put and not lurch up to face the camera dead on. “There’s a girl past the pier on the shoreline and I think she’s filming us. Just don’t sit up or look her way.”

Arden went completely still. The usual wiggle of her feet or bounce of her leg was panic stricken and frozen. This was the first encounter with a camera they weren’t expecting. They had employed tactics to keep Arden’s privacy as much as they could. Burying her face against Calum’s chest, hiding behind Duke and a kiss on the cheek, sunglasses and hat to cover up. Calum kept his eye on the girl in the most inconspicuous way he could. Behind his own sunglasses he wasn’t sure she would know his gaze was trained on her as she moved down the shore line and came to a more direct angle of them. Without thinking Calum was moving, shifting his weight to his knees and hands and hovering over the top of a confused Arden.

His back was to the camera and Arden was officially out of sight. She seemed to pick up on his intentions after a moment and a smirk. Her hands came out from behind her head with sand falling from her fingers and palms she settled her hands in his hair, trying to keep up the act and make the position look more natural and intimate. He shifted and settled his weight to one side, hip falling and his body guarding the side of Arden the camera could see. She turned with him, settling against him to better hide her face. Calum felt her warmth against his skin, felt his skin prickle and heart beat a little bit out of rhythm.

“I told you,” she said and her voice rang truths Calum couldn’t forget but would play oblivious to nonetheless. He made a noise of confusion to get her to explain. “I told you if it’s not paparazzi then it’s fans or social media or something.”

“You’re right,” he conceded but sighed. “Sometimes it’s like this. Some fans do this. But not always. Not all of them. It’s been a month and this has only happened once, right?”

It was time for Arden to concede with a timid nod and bitten lip as she considered the truth of his words. Fame always came with a cost; some paid it in droves and pieces of their lives. Others only encountered that cost occasionally. Calum figured that he was set somewhere in the middle.

“Maybe just once is too much for some people,” she said and made Calum’s heart ache; made a piece of hope plummet in his stomach and crash like waves to the shore.

With heart beating fast and hard he sucked in a breath and turned to see if the girl was still lurking. She had taken the hint and headed back toward the pier. Calum thanked her silently, appreciating the fact she didn’t push any further than what had already been done. He didn’t know how Arden would handle having a fan come up directly to them. If it would freak her out, make her freeze; if it and she would be okay or not. Her hands still lingered in his hair and for a selfish moment he stayed quiet; enjoying the feeling and taking a deep breath to try and remember the subtleties. Their moments of intimacy were scattered. The facade of it came with cameras and people who didn’t know the truth. The real moments were defined by privacy and small brushes. Legs touching as they sat next to each other. Hands brushing. Her head rested on his shoulder in a moment of peace. Thank yous said against his cheek.

“I think she’s gone now,” Calum admitted but Arden’s hands surprisingly didn’t fall. “We’re safe.”

Her fingers glided from his hair to his jaw and with bated breath Calum enjoyed the feeling and the flutter of beautiful nerves low in his stomach. Moving together, Calum leaned back and Arden settled to rest her head against his chest, one hand tucked under her and the other laid flat on his stomach. He didn’t say anything, tried to keep his breathing even and worked up the courage to run his fingers lazily up and down her arm. A new moment of bliss captured them as the rest of the world went static and distant. Calum couldn’t focus on the water or the colors of the sunset, he couldn’t hear the waves or the birds chirping overhead. All he could see was Arden’s timid nod and bitten lip; the uncertainty that crossed her face. All he could hear was maybe once is too much.

Sometimes Arden was able to let go of inhibitions and fears of fame. In moments when they were well and truly alone it was as if Calum wasn’t in a known band. He wasn’t a famous musician with fans and media eyes all over him. Arden made him feel normal and safe. But in moments where cameras invaded their privacy it was too much for Arden to forget. It made her feel unusual and uncomfortable.

“We haven’t gone in the water,” Arden said with a soft voice; hazel eyes taking in the ocean for all it was worth. “We should.”

Calum let out a small laugh at her insistence. “It’s probably freezing.”

“Oh it can’t be that bad,” she brushed it off and began to sit up; the second she was gone Calum missed her presence and the feel of her against him. “C’mon. We can at least dip our feet in. Can’t go to the beach and not go in the ocean.”

Calum followed her lead. Reached a hand out to grab hers and felt her fingers lock with his without even looking back. It was another small moment that defined them. He wasn’t wearing a swimsuit but he braved the lapping water anyway; the cool waves took his breath away as they crashed into his feet and the laughter that fell from Arden’s lips warmed him right back up.

“I told you it was cold,” Calum said as Arden shrieked at the water climbing her shins. He brought her closer with their held hands, let her arms wrap around his neck and laughed when it became apparent she was using him to get away from the cold. “Can’t go to the beach and not go in the ocean.”

Calum repeated her words as he lifted her up and brought them in further, the waves lapping up to her back; shorts and t-shirts quickly soaking with salt water. She threw her head back in laughter at his lighthearted mockery and the way her own words came back to bite her. With the sun setting and the heat of the day fleeing the water was even colder than usual but Calum didn’t mind the bite of cold on his skin when Arden was in his hold. When her shrieks disguised with laughter tumbled through his ears. When his name in her voice cut through and the force of the waves brought them even closer together. It took a few minutes to adjust to the cool temperature, little shivers still trembling Arden’s lips but joy lighting up her eyes.

She fell silent and Calum was quiet too, stood with his feet planted in the sand as the motion of the waves knocked into his legs, hands holding Arden up and the force keeping them close together. For just a split second Calum let himself revel in the fact she was so close. It was reminiscent of the dance floor and the living room. Foreheads pressed together, barely a breath between their smiles. Intoxicating sweetness right before him. And in an instant it was gone. Sugar was replaced with the spray of salt and honey melted away in favor of freezing water. She dropped from his hold but went on tiptoes, arms ducking into the water for the first time and a breath of disbelief rattling her. They looked out to where the waves were building; being only past waist deep they received the crashing end of them. They were alone in the water, a feeling of privacy veiling them as no one dared to brave the cold.

“That one looks…” Arden started, observing the wave building in the distance. “Too big.”

Calum scaled the wave in his mind, finding it to be possibly double the size of what they’d endured so far and his eyes widened. “We should run.”

They erupted into laughter and motion, slowly moving through the water. Calum kept a look out behind them, noting that the distance they put between them and the wave wasn’t enough. He grabbed Arden, arms wrapped around her from behind, held her close and tight and let the wave break against his back. The force of the wave was enough to have them stumbling, but with Calum’s support of Arden she stayed mostly upright as the wave passed them; soaking them completely from head to toe. If Calum hadn’t thought fast and held her she may have gone under from the force. He didn’t know how strong of a swimmer she was and wasn’t about ready to find out.

They stumbled out of the water, planted themselves on the shoreline with sopping wet clothes and hair and laughter that collided with the sunset. The waves barely touched their feet after breaking in the distance and lapping to shore. They took a moment to catch their breath, salt water nearly inhaled in the force of the wave. Calum couldn’t take his eyes off of Arden. The moment was dramatic and drowning but the laughter and the grin that couldn’t be contained left Calum feeling afloat. Her laughter bid his on, let chuckles fall from him in strangled breaths as he looked at her in awe.

“You saved my life,” she remarked once the laughter died down but a smirk still arched her lips and twinkled her eyes as she got up and offered a hand to him—she led him back back into the water, only about knee deep. “But you put it in danger first.”

A small splash accompanied by another giggle landed across his chest in a muted burst of cold. Calum was numb from the bite of cold washing over him so thoroughly, her splash was futile but her laughter made it worthwhile. Suddenly he was swept up in mischief, splashing her back past shrieks and chasing her through the water. Inhibitions slipped away and pooled into the open ocean, ready to drift away with the tide. The tense moment and anxiety of eyes and a camera on them disappeared into the sunset, ignorant bliss shrouded them in a curtain of privacy. They enjoyed the water and the sunset colliding against the waves in subtle bursts of color as time bled away from them; night approached with wind rolling off the waves and dark blue capturing the sky, shivering bodies wrapped in towels Calum was glad he thought to pack.

They abandoned the water and their spot on the sand in favor of the car with the heater thawing out their chills. They stayed parked with a view of the night and the moon glaring through the windshield. They were quiet and so was the night, not even the chirp of birds or the crash of waves made way into their small bubble of privacy. Calum chanced a glance over at Arden, sneaking a peak as she sunk further into the towel and watched the wiggle of her legs attempting to bring warmth back to her. If things were different; if she wasn’t Michael’s sister and their relationship wasn’t built around drunken escapades and forced facades, Calum may have thrown his arm over her shoulders and pulled her along the bench seat and to his side. He may have only packed one towel so they could huddle together under it and revel in each other’s body heat. But she was Arden and he was Calum and everything between them was too complicated for anything other than the facade they were living through. Or at least that’s what Calum convinced himself of in that moment.

Instead he just placed a hand on her knee as he had done before; the contact becoming more familiar with each touch. She smiled at him and slid herself closer, just a bit, just enough to communicate that it was okay and that the moment was real. It served as an answer and dug up more questions. Their moments on the beach, pressed so close and eye to eye. Pieces of her puzzle and past falling together. Calum had to wonder if those moments were real too. The line between pretenses and reality was becoming blurrier and blurrier as time went on and days were spent together without contractual reasoning. The sudden urge that had Calum jumping to shield her was less to do with a fuck you to management and more to do with a sense of protectiveness for her. She was timid in the face of a staged and known paparazzi stunt; Calum’s instincts went into overdrive to keep her okay during an unexpected invasion of privacy.

Their gaze broke for a moment, just long enough for her to let out a sigh and for the weight of it to barrel into Calum. Downcast eyes came back to meet one another and pursed lips and a twitching nose spoke of thoughts neither would say out loud. The quiet that settled between them was delicate, drenched in moonlight and privacy. Calum knew it was getting late but it was a thought he’d rather not say; the prospect of parting ways always hanging in the balance of time.

“It’s late,” Arden finally declared, saying what they both already knew and implying what was always to come. “Should probably head back now.”

Calum nodded and pulled his hand away from her, to put the key in the ignition and followed her suggestion as she slid back into her own seat. The drive was stalled for traffic and it bid Calum time to sneak glances at her; to note the way she burrowed into her towel and seemingly failed to keep wet hair from her eyes. Calum was smirking and holding back gentle laughter at her futile attempts to tuck her hair behind her ear; suppressed the ever present yearning to reach over and do it for her. Instead he reached for the radio and let music guide them back to Michael’s place. It was all too familiar a routine. Days spent together felt timeless yet too fast they would end up back in front of the house, back to Arden exiting the car and leaving Calum alone. The only good being the brush of her lips against his warmed cheek as she said her usual goodbye and thank you.

The house was calmer than usual when they pulled up but a light at the front was on for Arden’s homecoming. Neither moved once the car was in park—another piece of the routine falling into place. This time the blissful quiet that almost always ensued was interrupted by the ding and vibration of Calum’s phone. It was incessant and annoying, an obstacle to the few moments of alone time he had left with Arden. With eyes rolling and a breath escaping him he was ready to turn the phone off but notifications with Arden’s name stared back at him and stopped all movement. His anxieties and fears of a phone on the beach were trending. Photos and videos filled his timeline; moments he thought were private splashed across the internet for all to see. Calum knew Arden must have sensed the panic he was trying so hard to hide, her movement toward him and eyes finding the phone highlighting that fact.

The protective moment in the sand wasn’t surprising; Calum figured it would be posted but hoped he’d done enough to keep Arden out of the shot. The moments in the waves with laughter and guards down were what left Calum shell shocked. He thought the fan had fled when it was clear he was drawing a boundary in the sand. He thought the moment was theirs and theirs alone. Now it was an invasion of privacy.

Arden shook her head and Calum caught the shine of her eyes that showed her pain and hurt him as well. “I thought that was real.”

“It was,” Calum quickly defended the intrusive thought that his intentions were anything less than real. “I thought she left. We wouldn’t have gone out if I knew she was still taking photos.”

“Okay,” Arden accepted and Calum was relieved she was so quick to believe him; to trust his word even though the photos and tweets were much louder and painted lies so vividly and so easily. “Okay.”

She repeated the word but it was broken the second time, eyes fixating on the text below the photo; Calum followed her gaze and found scalding words of an unwarranted opinion. About her. He pulled the phone away and locked it; wished she hadn’t had to see that and was thankful she usually avoided social media. Hoped she wouldn’t have to see anything like it again.

She made to leave the car but Calum’s hand on her arm stopped her. “I’ll see you this weekend?”

She was confused for a moment but recognition filtered through quickly. “Right. I’m sure our parents will want to interrogate us together.”

She was distant, voice low and eyes wandering straight through Calum and past the tinted windows of the car. He let her go then, fingertips numb at the loss of contact and heart racing as she slipped out of the car without a near taste of sugar or a goodbye. He contained himself until she was in the house and the door was shut. Then his hands gripped the wheel with white knuckle force as he peeled out and headed home with his frustration. He tried to prevent it, tried to keep her from all she thought that fame was. He wanted nothing more than to keep her tucked away and into his side, away from flashing lights and out of headlines more than necessary.

Now the game was spinning out of their control and Arden was questioning what was real. Calum had those moments too but he was always able to reel himself in and feel his way around the uncertainty. He knew what was in his heart and mind, saw reflections of the same feelings in her eyes and all the smaller moments. He could tell she felt the weight of falling fame landing on her shoulders; he just hoped he could keep them and what was real from collapsing under the pressure.

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taylizmasterpost · 3 years

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Jake Gyllenhaal and Jealous Liz (October 2010 - February 2011)

Now, there’s a lot to say about Jake and Taylor. The time they got together was a time when he was promoting his movie, Love and Other Drugs, and she was about to drop Speak Now. So at first glance, it look a lot like a traditional PR stunt. However, they do not have a first public meeting -- something that Taylor has with a lot of her other PR relationships (think Calvin at the Fund Fair or Harry at the KCAs), and seemed generally more camera shy.

Jake’s costar in Love and Other Drugs, Anne Hathaway, was also single at the time, and arguably a PR relationship between the two of them would’ve drummed up significantly more buzz for the film, so stunting with Taylor seems an odd choice.

Jake also reportedly annoyed Taylor with how much he wanted to hide from the press, which is interesting. I’m not totally certain if they were real or not, but I’ll put all of their stuff in here, because it’s interesting to note Liz’s reaction to all of it, despite her relationship:

23 October 2010 - Emma Stone hosts SNL. Both Taylor and Jake G show up to support her, supposedly they’ve already started dating at this point and this was their first public appearance together.

"They walked around together backstage, but they were careful not to be seen too close. It was hard to tell if they were together, but everyone was shocked that she brought him," a source told People magazine.

Notice the lack of public meeting. Strange that they just showed up together dating.

24 October 2010 - Liz tweets about listening to Never Grow Up

October 2010 - Taylor writes All Too Well, the first of the three “Nashville songs” -- All Too Well, State of Grace, Stay Stay Stay-- that were written for the Red album before she moved to LA, based on the fact that she said she started writing for Red slightly before Speak Now was released.

We also know All Too Well has to have been written in 2010 because what the copyright record for it says:

Now, it seems to me that this is too soon to be about Jake. It’s obviously a breakup song, and Taylor and Jake have only just started dating (unless they had a secret dating history we don’t know about). It would be weird for her to be writing all this about him while they’re still dating.

All Too Well could be about any of the three women I’ve spoken previously about in this masterpost. However, I’m going to try to make the case that this song is for Liz:

All Too Well is Liz’s favorite song from Red. She has said so on multiple occasions. Years later, when she came to watch Taylor’s Reputation tour in Glendale, Taylor even played it for her as the surprise song. Sure, it could just be that Liz is just a fan, but the song fits where we are in the timeline. Liz has moved on with someone else. Taylor is trying to get over it, but she can’t help but think back to the past she remembers “all too well.”

If the song is about a woman, lines like “back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known” reads to me as Taylor making a (possibly unfounded) dig at closeting. All Too Well also carries the bad driving metaphor with “almost ran the red,” which runs throughout a lot of the other Liz songs on Red, and which Liz will later reference herself in her own music. The lines in the bridge about “asking for too much” and “running scared,” remind me of Taylor insisting she was single during Valentine’s Day, despite spending it with Liz, only to turn around and miss her once Liz got a boyfriend. Lines about loss of innocence are also interesting, when we think about that L Chat post about Liz from earlier...

Of course, obviously, you can think this song is about whoever you want. If you wanna claim it for JH or Joe Jonas or Taylor Lautner or maybe even some girl Taylor went to high school with, be my guest. I personally don’t buy it being about Emily in a post-Dear John world, and the timeline doesn’t read as Jake to me, so I’m giving it to Liz!

25 October 2010 - Speak Now is released. In the album’s prologue, she specifies that the song “Long Live” is for her band, which is interesting to me, considering that the bridge of the song sounds like it might be about a relationship, and the secret message of the song is “For you,” which sounds oddly specific:

Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you’ll stand by me forever But, if God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children someday When they point to the pictures, Please tell ‘em my name

The secret message for Mine is “Toby,” which is the name of the actor who played her love interest during the song, making it make no sense for the song to be about him (and, in my eyes, making it more likely she was trying to cover up who the song was really for). We’ve already discussed Story of Us having “CMT Awards” and Back to December having “Tay,” so I won’t beat you over the head with those.

Unlike the original handwritten lyrics to Sparks Fly, which featured the lyric “Get me with those brown eyes, baby,” the version that Taylor put on the Speak Now album had the lyric “hit me with those green eyes, baby,” with the eye color presumably being changed because Liz has green eyes:

The secret message for Sparks Fly is “Portland, Oregon,” which is where Taylor and The Agency covered Tom Petty’s song American Girl in May 2009 during the height of early TayLiz.

26 October 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted together in Brooklyn getting lunch with Emma Stone:

Liz does a sound check for Taylor for the Today Show. A video later gets posted on YouTube and someone leaves this comment noting Taylor and Liz’s chemistry:

31 October 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in Big Sur together and stay at California’s Post Inn Ranch.

Liz spends Halloween with her boyfriend:

1 November 2010 - Taylor’s appearance on Ellen airs. Ellen asks her about Jake. Taylor says “I’m always optimistic about love. Yes, always, sometimes.”

2 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in Santa Barbara together. They get ice cream, interact with fans, and Taylor reportedly laughs at everything Jake says.

16 November 2010 - Jake attends the Love and Other Drugs premiere alone. This is interesting to me, considering if this was a PR relationship you would’ve thought he’d bring Taylor as his date. Still, Paula made some weird decisions in her time as Taylor’s publicist (like putting her with a carousel of 18 year olds), so this could just be Paula thinking that Taylor showing up at the premiere with him would be too obviously read as a stunt. Doesn’t rule it either way. Still, I think Anne would’ve been a better choice for PR for this.

Mid November - Perez Hilton alleges that Jake has picked up Taylor on his private jet to fly her to London because she was “feeling lonely.” Jake was in London promoting Love and Other Drugs so this seems very stunty to me personally.

22 November 2010 - Taylor attends the American Music Awards and wins Favorite Female Country Artist.

Liz tweets congratulations at her and seems generally excited.

24 November 2010 - Love and Other Drugs is officially released in theaters.

25 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake spend Thanksgiving in Brooklyn with Jake’s family.

26 November 2010 - Liz seems to have spent Thanksgiving with Jason:

27 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake are spotted in a coffee house in Nashville:

And, maybe in response, Liz makes this weird and vaguely jealous Tweet:

Now, I don’t know what this means. Maybe the “you” refers to Liz and she’s having what Carly Rae Jepsen would call “boy problems” -- feeling torn and overburdened between a best friend and boyfriend:

youtube

Or, perhaps, the “you” in this Tweet refers to Taylor, and Liz is trying to say that Jake is “using her up,” maybe meaning taking up her time. Or maybe Liz wasn’t referring to any of this. We can’t really know. Still, it’s interesting.

29 November 2010 - TayLiz hang out and Liz tweets about it. Perhaps to make up for the lack of time spent together since they both got boyfriends.

30 November 2010 - Taylor and Jake have coffee in Nashville:

1 December 2010 - Taylor writes a MySpace post about the CMTs.

Liz tweets about watching Glee, meaning she’s the one who got Taylor hooked on the show and therefore interested in Dianna. Hilarious.

2 December 2010 - Taylor calls Love and Other Drugs a “good movie” when asked about it, and won’t say anything more. She also adamantly refuses to talk about her personal life (This gives me 2018/19 Joe vibes, whatever that means).

3 December 2010 - Liz tweets that her favorite song on Speak Now is Last Kiss. She also tweets at Jason about his cooking:

5 December 2010 - Jake is asked about Taylor and says this:

“One of the greatest parts about being in a relationship is the intimacy you share, but it can be difficult if you’re being watched the whole time.”

This reminds me so much of what Taylor’s currently saying about Joe. Interesting, looking back on it.

7 December 2010 - Jake and Taylor do the “maple latte” pap walk stunt in Brooklyn with Maggie and her daughter. This is the only series of photos of them that I think was a set-up, but that means it’s pretty gross this is the one they chose to bring a child into:

I think the reason this was so obviously a pap walk was to get the “maple latte” in the shot. I’ve already speculated that Taylor had written All Too Well prior to her relationship with Jake, and this stunty pap walk would make sense if she needed to use him to cover for it.

8 December 2010 - Liz makes another weird vague possibly jealous tweet:

Now, in the context of Mine possibly being about Liz and Taylor saying that song is about her “tendency to run from love,” it’s possible Liz is shading Taylor’s pap walk with Jake the previous day. This tweet feels very “back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known.”

However, maybe she’s just really happy with Jason. I don’t know. I don’t know these people.

9 December 2010 - Taylor and Jake drive around LA, Jake yells at the paps.

Compare these to those photos with Taylor Lautner earlier in the timeline. These are not nearly as staged. Take away from that whatever you will.

13 December 2010 - Taylor turns 21. Liz and Caitlin bring her a pizza. Liz tweets at Taylor that she’s changed her life. This is supposedly the birthday that Jake didn’t show up to that The Moment I Knew is about. Liz and Caitlin bringing her pizza if she’s sad about it would make sense...

31 December 2010 - Taylor and Liz spotted together in Nashville. They get Pei Wei and JustJared calls Liz a “gal pal.” Taylor seems upset, possibly about her whole Jake birthday thing. Or possibly something else.

Liz tweets about going for a run and listening to Speak Now:

5 January 2011 - Taylor and Jake break up.

19 January 2011 - Taylor and Jake are spotted together by fans in Nashville, first at a coffee shop and then at dinner. Jake did not have any other business in Nashville, so it can be assumed he came there to talk to Taylor:

CONCLUSION: Were Taylor and Jake real? I don’t know. They really only ever did that one pap walk and didn’t seem to publicly promote each other’s work, as far as I could find, despite both releasing projects while together. The one pap walk they did seems to maybe have been to cover for All Too Well, which had possibly already been written (likely about Liz) before Jake and Taylor started dating.

Were those tweets from Liz jealousy? Or am I reading too much into it?

Either way, Taylor’s had her fun, and now it’s time to maybe start thinking about getting back together with Liz. There’s just one problem: her boyfriend.

The Speak Now Tour Begins (February 2011 - May 2011)

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steve0discusses · 3 years

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Yugioh Ep33 S4 pt 2: The Best Storyboarder Came Back Just so They Could Draw Tristan Getting Hit in the Nuts

OK lets just get to the good stuff.

God bless you, storyboarder.

(read more under the cut)

The team has entered the Atlantis lair of Dartz, which is also accessible through Paradius in San Fransisco, but youknow...we don’t have magic so it’s not like we could’ve skipped like 10 minutes and just done that instead of the helicopter escape, the Military moment, and the ride through a hurricane.

Oh wait, we do have magic, that’s right...well...for now, pretend we don’t.

Enjoy the snakes.

Strangely, Kaiba does not feel comfortable with the snakes, when snakes really just a smaller and cuter dragon. I love snakes. Never owned one...but I trust em.

Dartz has the Yugioh “old guy” aesthetic of “We just really like yellowed sandstone”

I get that they want this place (and also Yami’s house) to look like a tomb so there won’t be any paint on the wall but this is just a pet peeve of mine that Ancient times freakin loved garish colors on the wall in layers and layers of patterns and yet in fiction we never show that.

But...it doesn’t go with the vibe. I’ll let it go because it would absolutely ruin the vibe to have a bunch of swirly stuff in neon orange and green.

Before we have a chance to grab a step stool and just kinda yoink Yugi Muto, Dartz shows up, and this shot happens.

I couldn’t not grab a cap of that. I mean...look at it. It is SO HARD to foreshorten hands so it looks right and then bam they just did that. It’s just...

...I’ve been breaking down foreshortening in Yugioh shots for a while now trying to figure out why when I do it, it looks like a busted huge hand, but when they do it, it looks really good, and I’m starting to realize that maybe it’s more than just stacking but also...the composition?

You can’t really look at this picture as a whole. The hand is such a strong focal point that you must start there, and then follow down the arm to the face. I think when I do these foreshortening shots I make the hand the same weight as the face, and that’s my downfall. You gotta let the composition force the viewer to slow down and take time in order for the optical illusion to happen...maybe? I’m like over 30 now, you’d think I’d figure this out by now.

Whatever, that’s another post.

So like...what happened to those two people who used to be there????

And now prepare thyself for my lazy math. I know this math is bad. For people out there who feel like working out the geometric growth and calculate just how many souls Dartz slurps up--feel free to tell me. If I like the explanation, I will adjust the Death Count to match it. It’s just too 2020 for me to do more than multiplication at the moment.

Did I count how many people would have existed 10,000 years ago? no. Did I account for plagues? No. Like this math of 4 a day is bad...but eh it’s all I got right now in my mental ammunition.

Something that we did think about was...

Why not slurp up the Pharaoh soul when Yami was still alive? Like we assume the puzzle existed in the past but like...did Yami not get superpowered until Yugi woke him up? Was he in fact useless until he got a little bit of a battery charge during Season Zero when he was dumping people off of bell towers?

And like I get not knowing about the underground Ishtars, and not being able to get a hold of Shadi because Shadi is a lazy ghost, but Bakura was RIGHT THERE. You can’t munch up Pegasus off screen and then say “eh but Bakura’s kinda low tier” we know for a fact that Bakura is not...so like...there must have been some copyright situation where they couldn’t use certain characters. This is a filler arc--but it would have been nice to have at least some explanation as to why it took Dartz so long to finally murder the hell out of Pharaoh.

Which is me expecting way too much out of this show. Just something I was really hoping would get addressed but leave it for the headcanon.

It’s at this point that Mokuba realized he’s standing on top of people.

A crypt made out of human souls! Crazy, usually we’re in a crypt made out of one single human soul....and both of these crypts have Yugi in it.

In Raphael’s storyline, he’s been busy just cleaning up after everyone else. It’s supposed to come off as very serious but I was totally busting up when he’s just dropping bodies into the back of this jeep.

And in the Kaiba Corp plotline, Roland is anxiously wondering if he should be a Dad and save the kids or if he should be a dog and stay in the plane.

He stays in the plane.

Strangely this was the right call. (And this is why Roland has never died)

So they start throwing around cards, as you do, and Dartz puts down his Orichalcos, has he does, when suddenly...they started seeing stuff again. Can’t have a single card game without it.

So the Orichalcos is just a backstory device? For reals?

Something I alluded to quite a few episodes back with Valon was just...wondering why the hell the Orichalcos crew had so much freakin magic as to make all these visions during duels. Turns out...it’s just a thing to occasionally trip on Oricalchos juice. I’m not sure why we never had a vision with Mai, Weevil, Rex, or Gurimo, but at least we now know that Raphael and Valon weren’t as magical as I thought they were.

So we’re in like...outer space. Kind of the last place you’d expect out of ancient Atlantis and Dartz isn’t having ANY OF IT.

And honestly that makes sense. Imagine giving someone 10,000 years ago the run down on outer space. They’d freak. They’d definitely think you’re talking about demons.

If space is an elaborate analogy, we don’t know that yet. For how this is presented, it’s just an old man hootin and hollerin about how much space sucks, and I love that.

PS how anime is this shot of the earth behind the orichalcos symbol and the dude in the middle with the ass length blue hair--really damn anime, right?

Like at least one of you has this wall hanging, right?

For those that are too tired to look it up, Pangea was 280-230 million years ago.

THAT REALLY CHANGES MY MATH.

AND I’M TOO TIRED.

So my thoughts are...either the math is wrong and I’ll fix it eventually in post, depending on my mood come next Wednesday, OR...humanity was deleted and then came back later??? (because the dawn of mankind was 7 million years ago)

OR...

They just felt like drawing Pangea 10 million years ago. Maybe that’s all. Maybe I don’t have to fix anything. I dunno.

Maybe this isn’t Earth.

Maybe Yugioh Earth never had Loma Preita because it isn’t actually Earth. And, like a Final Fantasy situation, is a second planet on a parallel plane of our own?

Either way, I’m not redoing the math because I actually don’t know how to change it anymore. I’m v undecided of the timeline now......maybe the next episode will tell us more? (I doubt this very much)

RIP deathcount.

Yo Atlantis!

I have a lot of questions!

About Atlantis!

And the purpose of the aqueduct going the wrong direction.

Is that in fact the poop shoot?

But wtv it looks neat.

So anyway, that’s all for now, I hope you enjoyed my bad math, and I hope you enjoy your Halloween. Ours is a whole lot of nothing. I’ll be watching lots of Phasmaphobia streams while eating Butterfingers that I legally can’t give to children because it’s an epidemic (butterfingers is like the last candy that my old 30 yo ass can handle without passing out or gagging. Weird how getting older makes me hate all the good things I couldn’t eat when I was younger because I was too young to be allowed to eat them.) and that’s about it.

WHY did Halloween finally fall on a Saturday DURING an epidemic? I only get so many Saturday Halloweens in my youth...just why.

(and here’s a link to read these in chrono order)

#ygo #yugioh #recap #photo recap #humor #atlantis #yami #seto kaiba #mokuba #dartz #tristan taylor #getting hit in the nuts #roland #hallucinating while playing cards who knew?#S4 #Ep33

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be-ready-when-i-say-go · 4 years

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In Corners

Calum never though he’d be a dad like this. But when it comes to his daughter, he’s always in her corner. Always and forever.

What happens when you put together H’s love for angst+ Single!Dad Calum+ Coming Out?

This. This is the product.

CW: Mentions of Death and health issues. Coming out. Some slight mentions of homophobia. Anxiety.

Enjoy my masterlist

Feel free to support me on Kofi.

****No one has my permission to post this fic, including translations. Copyright be-ready-when-i-say-go, 2020.******

_________________________________

Calum shouldn’t have sat down. That is his mistake. He figures he wouldn’t fall asleep. Not this fast, of course. That will always be false hope. That will always be him giving himself too much credit. If he sat down too long without anything to do, especially in the comfy single seater, it would be game over for him. He has an hour before he has to pick up Ariyana from Elizabeth’s house. He dropped her off earlier in the afternoon and said he’d be back to get her before dinner time.

And after running errands, first to get groceries, then take the dogs to the vet, and be home for the cable company, all Calum really wants is a nap. Just a quick one. That’s all it’ll be. Half an hour and then he can head out to get her. The both of them can decide what to get for dinner, if they’re going to cook or if they’ll give in and order a veggie pizza. There’s nothing like just sitting with a couple boxes of pizza and piling plates with maybe a slice too many and dancing from the counter to the kitchen table to keep any slice from sliding off.

He feels his head fall forward on his neck and he snaps up. It takes him a moment, realizing he’s slumped down in the living room. Glancing up at the clock, he’s half an hour late. “Shit,” he exclaims, bolting up from the seat, grabbing his keys and wallet. The door is a slamming thud behind him and his keys jingle as he works to get the right one in his fingers.

Inside the car, he pulls up Ari’s number and sets the phone into the hook on the air vent so he can drive and have both hands free. It rings and rings. Just as the back tires hit asphalt, she picks up. “Fell asleep again didn’t you, Dad?”

“I keep telling you that seat has some sort of magic in it. I’m on my way.”

She laughs. In the background, Calum can hear Elizabeth’s mother, her voice soft and sweet. “He’s on his way. Thanks, Mrs. Banks,” Ariyana says. “Want me to call in the veggie pizza?”

“Please. I’m sorry, baby girl. Should’ve set an alarm on my phone.”

“It’s alright, Dad. I lost track of time too. I’ll call it in.”

“Love you. Thanks.”

“Of course. Love you too.”

It still blows Calum’s mind that for the last fourteen years it’s been just Ariyana and him, and somehow he’s managed to do the whole Dad thing well. Ariyana isn’t his kid, an apparent fact when she stands next to him at the grocery stores when they go shopping together or when they go out to the movies, on the rare occasions that Ariyana doesn’t think Calum’s lame. Her much darker than his own, almost like her skin swallowed up the night sky.

But he wouldn’t trade it in for the world. Even though it meant he lost one of his best friends along the way, complications post-birth seemed to just linger and linger on until they unfortunately claimed Ariyana’s mother, Jazmyne. But both her and Calum knew things were going south fast. They both knew that one day would be her last and when Jazymyne told Calum that no matter what happened to her, she wanted him to take care of her baby, he agreed without hesitation. Ari was close to a year old when her mother died, leaving Calum to the wilds of parenthood alone.

He was there for everything before that. When Ariyana first kicked in the womb. When the doctors let visitors in, he was the first to hold her. He watched her crawl for the first time, attempting to keep up with Duke who was shockingly good with a baby. Maybe it was because they were kindred spirits. All he did was sleep and eat all day and Ariyana as a baby did the same. He has so many pictures of Ari and Duke at his place on the couch, fast asleep, when Jazmyne had doctor’s appointments or whenever she was just too physically tired to do much of anything. Calum always kept his doors opened. He loved, and still loves, Ariyana, so there was never a problem when he got to watch her for a couple hours.

Ariyana had a game she liked to play, especially when she was being put down for a nap, where when she finally could support her upper half, she would hide her face in Calum’s chest and then push up. He would kiss her forehead or cheek and she’d giggle before hiding her face again. It would go for ten minutes, a cycle of their version of peekaboo and kisses until sleep finally overtook her right there on his chest and Calum would be left, hearing the echo of her sweet giggle, the way only a baby can laugh, with one hand on her back, keeping her secure to his body.

Calum feels the tears filling his lower lashes and tries not to think too much about how much Ariyana has grown up since then. How at almost 25, he became a dad to the sweetest kid in the world. And it might not have been under circumstances that he would’ve liked, or ones that he would’ve expected, but he couldn’t deny the blessing Ariyana was in his life. So how much complaining could Calum really do?

Turning the corner onto the block, Calum can see Ariyana and Elizabeth standing on the front porch, huddled together. And almost, as the sounds of his tires rolling over of the street, are fire, they jump apart. Elizabeth falls into the swing and starts rocking as if she were doing it the entire time. Calum knows. He suspected it long before when suddenly Ari talked about Elizabeth all the time. They stayed after school a lot, on homework as the excuse. But Calum never pushed it.

Instead, Calum parks. He opens his door just as the front door opens and Elizabeth’s mom steps out waving. “Thank you again, Jodie,” Calum calls out as he stands behind the opened driver side door.

“Anytime. You know Ariyana’s welcome over literally whenever. Maybe next week, girls, we can do that candle thing I was showing you guys.”

“Mom,” Elizabeth groans.

“What? It looks fun,” Jodie defends. It’s easy to see the relation between the two of them. Elizabeth getting her mother’s dark and wild curls. “You guys said you wanted something to do the next time you hung out? I figured what’s to lose by learning how to make candles?”

“Yeah, but they’re in those elementary school milk cartons.”

Jodie shakes her head. Her gaze lands on Calum and they both share a knowing look before Jodie turns back to Elizabeth, hands up and palms out. “Well, think about it then. Maybe we can find some other craft. Doesn’t have to be candles.”

Both girls are glancing at each other, communicating something and Calum has a good idea what it is. But with a small wave and smile, Ariyana steps down from the porch and over to the passenger side of Calum’s SUV. They both climb inside, doors closing at the same time. “Pizza should be done by the time we get there,” Ari says, sliding the seatbelt across her.

“Cool. Tomorrow, I’ll cook.”

“You mean, tomorrow you’ll attempt to cook but I’ll have a take out place on standby.”

“My cooking’s gotten better over the years.”

“I’ll give you that,” she laughs. Then falls silent, mostly car rides are full of her talking about her day, asking questions, making terrible puns about the street names. But now, she fiddles with her phone, staring out of the window as the world passes by them. And she questions for a brief moment if they are passing the world by. Because it feels like it, as she sits next to her dad.

Ariyana knows about her mother dying, she knows about Calum adopting her because of her mother’s wishes. She’s grateful for it. She can’t imagine what her life would be like if it weren’t for Calum, if she wound up with someone else, if she wound up with her grandmother, who lived back in the South. Calum never kept her family out of her life, but it’s always a question that plagues her. What would her life be like if things had been different? What would she be like if her grandmother took her in? Would her grandmother dress her up every Sunday like she did to her mother? Would she be eating oatmeal in the mornings with bacon on the side and just on the other side of the kitchen table a Bible would sit?

She’s not sure why her mother didn’t leave her to her grandmother. Though she’s asked Calum several times, he never really answers it. Her grandmother never treated her badly. When she spent the summers at her house, running through the neighborhood with the other kids, and they scrambled to be inside doors or on porch steps as the streetlights came on, her grandmother would always be waiting, hands on her hips, with a shake of her head. ‘Cutting it close, like you gunnin for trouble,’ her grandmother would always say.

But on the table would be her plate for dinner. Her aunts and uncle would always hook her up with the latest sneakers. Ariyana learned how to walk not to put creases in her shoes. She spent many nights sitting in her mother’s childhood room, cleaning sneakers with toothbrushes. She stared up at peeling wallpaper, feeling the soft pressure of reassuring hands on her shoulders. No one else would be in the room with her.

And Calum never sheltered her from any of that. He took really good care of her and she never felt like she couldn’t tell him anything. She never felt like there was a disconnect. Until now. Because in her soul, deep in her gut, she knows that she wouldn’t have to worry about this with her mother. Her mother would just get her. There was nothing else in the world besides a mother’s love. Or maybe Ariyana just yearned for her mother right now that it made it seem like that. Maybe all she wants right now is that soothing touch, like when Grandma’s worn leathery palms would cup her cheeks and every ache was soothed. Every worry was squashed in just one touch.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t drive away now,” Calum teases, sliding out of the truck.

Ariyana finally notices that they’re pulled up right in front of the doors of the pizza shop. She nods, glancing over to Calum. Does he know? Is he going to flip? She hopes he wouldn’t. Ariyana hopes that the track record of telling Calum major news proves accurate for future reactions. Like shockingly, he didn’t flip a lid when she was near failing trig. Mostly because she was too busy passing notes to Elizabeth. But she covered that up by saying the teacher just taught it in a confusing manner and Calum asked her if she wanted a tutor. That was all. He encouraged her that she could always try the subject again in the summer or maybe again once school started, but he didn’t give her a spill about how failing classes would never get her into college, or never help her make a living in the world.

But almost failing trig and having to tell him this, the truth, admitting that even she’s not sure about the label--that could never compare.

The car door opens and Calum slides the pizza onto the floor to keep it safe. Just as he gets into the driver seat, Ariyana speaks. “Can we go visit Mom? Like after dinner or whenever it really works?”

Calum nods. “We can go right now if you want. I have blankets in the back. Make it a picnic.”

“Those are the dogs blankets but sure, they’ll suffice.”

“Hey, now, the dogs don’t complain about those nice soft blankets.” He says it on the shot to make her laugh. He can tell something in weighing on her mind. That’s not his Ariyana but sometimes things are just hard to express verbally. He gets that.

“They lack the ability too. So…” she laughs, watching as Calum makes a dramatic show of rolling his eyes and sighing.

The smell of cheese and marinara sauce fills the car. There’s not even the radio playing. Calum lets her have control most of the time. According to her, all he ever plays are the throwback jams. Though occasionally in her shuffle she slips in one of the songs he’s mentioned or played before. She only puts the ‘good ones’ on though, her exact phrasing when Calum brought it up once.

Upon arriving at the cemetery, Calum pauses, watching Ariyana slip out of the car. She skirts around to the trunk, pulling out the blankets. “Trunk water?” she asks, referring the case of water Calum keeps in the trunk. Mostly for emergencies and because he’s had a case always on hand.

“I got it,” Calum returns as he grabs the pizza. He wants to ask if everything is okay. If there’s anything he needs to do, or anything she wants him to do, but he’s not sure if the question warrants verbalization. Something is not okay. Something is going on. Though he doesn’t want to push her at the same time.

Walking over the grass, Calum doesn’t even take note of the headstones that lead their way. Most of the time he does. Most of the time he hates coming here. He never really thought he would’ve griefed a major loss in his twenties. He didn’t think life would be that cruel to him. Yet it had. Yet, he buried her six feet deep, let the oak be a barrier between her flesh and whatever creatures lived in the dirt. But this whole row, the plot they had to pick out together while Ariyana was still much too young, still a babbling baby on one of their hips. Calum can’t remember anymore the specifics.

This whole trek though shows him he’s not alone. Many others have had those same feelings. Many others have cried a flood of tears before him and he can only hope those that cry for him don’t feel too burdened. He hopes that they know his life began and had to end too. It’s at the plot as Ariyana starts to unfold the blanket that Calum wonders if she wants to go to stay with her grandmother. Before she spent a lot of summers there because Calum had to go for a tour, but even during her Christmas breaks, she asked to go more often. Because he has to leave during the school year too sometimes, Ariyana stays with Luke’s wife and their kids. It works out, never find the fact that they have to make it work.

“Do you want to live with your grandmother, Ari?”

Ariyana looks over to Calum, her brows pulled in together in confusion. “Did you nap so hard, Dad, that you lost your marbles? I love Grandma Gigi. But no, I don’t want to live with her.”

“I just--you’ve been quiet. Like something’s wrong. And I didn’t--I didn’t want you thinking that you couldn’t talk to me about whatever it is that’s going on. I know it’s not easy when I have to travel so many months at a time. But like, if you wanted something more stable, I don’t fault you. I wouldn’t be mad.”

Their blankets are straightened out and Ariyana places her arms under the boxes. “It’s crazy, yeah. But let’s be real. I have like four rooms at this point, one at every uncle’s house. Birthdays are like, insane when we all get together to have a party. And I like it, just us. Besides you don’t flip like Grandma Gigi about curfew. Though her cooking is better.” She sees Calum’s faux offense and quickly adds on, “But I do love you. You taught me how to ride a bike. You’re there to help me study when I can’t decode Shakespeare. You paid for me to learn how to fail at tap dancing.”

“You were getting better, sweetheart.”

“I was awful, Dad. And you taught me how to play football and helped me make junior varsity. There’s no one else that could’ve done all that.”

“You were an easy baby. A difficult teen. But an easy baby.”

“I won’t take offense at you calling me difficult. For now. It might come back up in other later arguments.”

Calum laughs, nodding his head towards the ground. “Believe me, I expect it.”

They finally sit, the pizza still warm as they take their first bites. Ariyana really asked to come out here because maybe she could tell Calum without actually having to say it. Maybe her mother would give her strength even beyond the grave. It would be like, coming out to both the people she cared about the most, at the same time. She wouldn’t have to do this over, and over, and over. Except her uncles of course.

Grandma Gigi is going to be a whole other battle. That will have to be a battle she’ll have to fight when it comes up. Right now, she has to tell Calum. With nothing but crust in her fingers, she looks over to Calum. “Dad,” she starts. She’s never called him anything other than that, though she knows he’s not her biological father. She’s never known him as anything other than that. She’s never known him as anyone that would freak, or stop loving her, or shun her for anything.

“What’s up, baby girl?” If Ariyana doesn’t want to move in with her grandmother, Calum’s at a loss. He just wants her to be happy. And healthy, of course, too. But seeing her torn up like this makes his gut constrict. He’s only been able to stomach one slice thus far.

“Have you ever known you were different? Not like you suspected or you were guessing. But you just knew.”

It clicks. Like the switch of a light being turned on, Calum gets it. He exhales, reaching for another slice of pizza. “Well,” he starts, holding the slice on his fingers as he chews over the right words. He stares down at Jazmyne’s headstone. What do I tell her? You’d be so much better at this. He doesn’t want to start out with the ‘whole everyone’s different’ thing. It feels contrived, like he’s trying to weigh his own struggles against hers. All he wants to do, at a moment like this, is let her know he’s listening. He’s picking up the clues. “There’s nothing wrong with different, ya know? Different is good.”

“You don’t think different is like, wrong? Like, there’s a ‘normal’ that everyone’s used too. And different is scary. But is it wrong, ya know?”

There’s no use in trying to beat around the bush anymore. Calum swallows down his bite of pizza resting it on the cardboard box on the side where none of the other slices rest. He looks over at her, as she picks at the dog fur coating her black jeans. “Who you love or find attractive isn’t wrong. It may be different from what others expect of you or what others deem is right. I don’t care who you love. I love different. I accept different. I respect different and that means I love you; I accept you. And it also means I respect you too.”

Almost like a popped balloon Ariyana sighs. All the tension from her shoulders drop. “Was it that obvious?”

“I know when someone’s smitten when I see it.”

There’s a moment, where they both sit, watching the setting sun. Ari’s glad that it went well. That she doesn’t have to hide or fear anything. “You didn’t even let me say it, though,” she points out. “Like, I had this whole speech prepared and everything!”

Calum laughs. “Okay, let’s redo.”

“No, it’s too late now,” she huffs, holding her arms across her chest. Her laughter is bubbling in her chest and escapes her in tufts. “But, in all honesty, thanks. For understanding. I was kinda scared.”

Calum nods. “I understand. But I don’t want you to be afraid of telling me things. I’m always in your corner, Ariyana. Always and forever.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

With empty boxes collected and the blankets folded back up, Ariyana looks down at her mother’s gravestone. “I hope you understand, Mom. Love you.” The car ride is DJ’ed, like usual, Ariyana’s playlist and things are easy again.

It’s about a week later as Ariyana gathers her books from the dining room table for school, when she notices a tiny pride flag pinned to the front pouch of her backpack. She didn’t buy that. Not even in her venture to the mall with Elizabeth last Saturday and they stopped at a small kiosk that was selling a bunch of pins. Elizabeth bought one, if she remembered correctly. But not her.

“Ready to go, Ari?”

“Dad, did I buy that pin?” she asks, pointing to her brown canvas bag.

“If it’s too much, you don’t have to leave it there. But I know you’re into pins now.” That explains it. He bought and pinned it there. And if she knows anything, inside will be a bottle of orange juice and some candy, in case she needs the sugar boost during the day. She hates that he does it, but as of late, she’s needed then more and more.

“When’s my doctor’s appointment again?”

“Tomorrow, Tuesday. 1:30. I’ll be there to get you before your lunch time.”

“I’m going to miss trig.”

“You mean you’re going to miss Elizabeth,” Calum corrects, shouldering the loaded up backpack.

“No, I’m failing trig, not failing in my relationship.”

“Smart ass,” he laughs as they shuffle out of the door. “C’mon. You’ve got a test first period and you’re not being late as an excuse.”

“Oh, c’mon, Dad. It’s World History. I can ace it in my sleep.”

It’s true, but still, he’s not going to risk it. Ariyana plays with her phone, mostly texting but Calum’s not shocked. When his stops in the parking lot, the buses are already lined up and unloading. Ariyana grabs her bag, but not before leaning across the console and kissing Calum on his cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too. Kick ass on that test. Don’t be afraid to go to the nurse’s office or call me if you feel another dizzy spell, okay?”

“I won’t.”

“Tell Elizabeth I said hi, alright?”

Ariyana can’t stop the smile as she shuts the door. The window already rolled down. “You love having that power, don’t you?”

Calum laughs, leaning forward into the steering wheel but not pressing down on the horn. “C’mon your pops has to have a little fun, ya know.”

She rolls her eyes, wishing she could seriously be upset. But instead, all there is is elation. She calls out another ‘love you’ and then starts towards the front doors. Right on the curb is Elizabeth, waiting for her. Their embrace is quick and they shuffle inside, hand in hand. There’s a moment, where there’s a small pause, Ari showing off the pin and Calum can only grin watching them. “You’re probably already seeing this Jaz. But God, she’s growing up fast. Her first girlfriend. Like, fuck, I’m getting old. So old, but I hope you’re proud. I hope she’s everything you wanted in a daughter. I hope I’m doing you proud.”

Calum knows he’s been watching too long when the buses start to leave. But part of him is worried. Afraid that he’ll pull out of the parking lot and she’ll wind up in the nurse's office waiting for him to rush to get her. He’s worried that he’s going to pull off and when he comes back she’s going to graduate. It might be her second year in high school but it already feels like with every blink she keeps growing up. He can’t stop her. He can’t keep her as that babbling baby on his chest who’d laugh at the raspberries on her cheeks.

It’s on the drive back home, when there’s no music, no laughing from his right. When it’s just him and the road and the breeze floating in that he feels something on his cheek. It’s warm for a quick moment, even tinkles, and then gone. It’s not a bug, not some stray piece of hair. It encompassed his whole cheek and he thinks it was Jazmyne, cupping his cheek, like she always did before she’d pinched his cheeks. It never failed to annoy him.

A tear slips from his eye. At the last red light before turning into his neighborhood, he doesn’t stop the ones that overflow the waterlines of his eyes. “I know you’re there.”

Tagging: @5-secondsofcolor @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Back to the Future: The Real Johnny B. Goode Rocked Long Before Marty McFly

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Back to the Future is a classic comedy, one of the most popular films in motion picture history. Almost every laugh line lands with a perfectly executed punch. Every skateboard flip is a motion picture wonder. It’s one of those films which is broadly silly yet still has heart, and it’s a treasure of commercial cinema. But when Michael J. Fox’s Marty McFly straps on a cherry red Gibson ES-345 he plunders the golden oldies right out of the fingers of the true original. Ignore the bit where “Marvin Berry” calls his cousin on the phone. Chuck Berry didn’t just write “Johnny B. Goode,” he was Johnny B. Goode.

The song about the country boy who could play guitar like ringing a bell could have referred to any number of musicians, from Buddy Holly to Bo Diddley or Ricky Nelson. But the singer-songwriting guitarist who penned the line was born at 2520 Goode Avenue, in St. Louis.

Berry had already made his concession to white commercialism by changing the line “that little colored boy could play” to “that little country boy.” Oh my. But then for years, the Father of Rock and Roll watched the self-styled King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, put his stamp on Berry’s signature. The royalties were sweet though for Berry, and the respect was mutual.

But the backhanded homage in the time-traveling 1985 comedy is really a cheap gag, and the joke is at the expense of Berry’s legacy.

“Long Distance information? Get Me Memphis, Tennesse”

“Chuck! Chuck, it’s Marvin, your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you’re looking for?” the fictional bandleader yells into a pay phone at the 1955 Enchantment Under the Sea dance in Hill Valley, California. “Listen to this!”

We then hear the subtle sound of casual racial invalidation. Not only does the line denigrate Berry’s contribution to the architecture of rock and roll; it completely sidelines guitarist Carl Hogan who initiated the opening guitar phrasing on Louis Jordan’s 1946 pre-rock and roll song “Ain’t That Just Like a Woman.” Think, McFly. Think!

Michael J. Fox already has a perfectly winning comic ending to the now-iconic scene: when his fingers stretch back to the future, and he channels Eddie Van Halen on the guitar, even the kids at the 1950s dance think he should act his age. So why does director and co-screenwriter Robert Zemeckis feel the need to shit on Chuck Berry with such a disposable throw-away gag? It is even more insulting when you take into consideration who Berry had to sue over the course of his career for stealing his riffs.

Indicative of a long-standing music industry tradition, the two biggest names in white rock and roll, the Beatles and the Beach Boys, had to cough up to the pioneering artist after infringing on his copyrights. Berry sued to get his name on the Beach Boys’ hit “Surfin’ USA” while John Lennon agreed to cover two songs owned by Berry’s publisher in exchange for copping lines from “You Can’t Catch Me” for the song “Come Together.”

But Lennon still declared “If you tried to give rock and roll another name, you might call it ‘Chuck Berry,’” when he introduced him on The Mike Douglas Show in 1972. “In the 1950s, a whole generation worshipped his music, and when you see him today, past and present all come together, and the message is Hail, Hail Rock and Roll.’”

He Could Play a Guitar Just Like a-Ringin’ a Bell

Berry was the first-ever Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductee, and in the same class as James Brown, Ray Charles, Fats Domino, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, and Presley. With songs like “Maybellene,” “Roll Over Beethoven,” “Little Queenie,” “Havana Moon,” “Wee Wee Hours,” “Rock and Roll Music,” and “Sweet Little 16,” Berry scored the soundtrack to the 1950s.

Berry didn’t invent rock and roll. Ike Turner is credited with that for his 1951 song, “Rocket 88.” Berry recorded his first hit “Maybellene” in 1955 at Chicago’s Chess Studios, the home of the blues. Berry sped up the blues to a country thump and let his fingers do to guitar strings what lips did to horns.

Berry made rock and roll fun, funny, and subtly rebellious. The teenager in “You Can’t Catch Me” is motorvating away from the cops. His “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” hit a home run with color coded racial pride. The artist who was glad, so glad, he was “living in the U.S.A.” (in the song “Back in the U.S.A.”) was barred from many of the things he found so wondrous in this country to sing about.

Almost Grown

Charles Edward Anderson Berry was born on Oct. 18, 1926. His St. Louis neighborhood, “The Ville,” was segregated. His great-grandparents were slaves. In 1944, Berry was arrested for driving along in an automobile he carjacked at gunpoint after robbing three stores in Kansas City. He did a three-year stint in reform school.

Berry began playing music professionally when he was in his mid-20s, sitting in with local bands like piano player Johnnie Johnson’s group, Sir John’s Trio. Blues icon Muddy Waters suggested Berry bring his songs to Chess Records where Howlin’ Wolf, the Moonglows, and Big Bill Broonzy were recording sides. Label owner Leonard Chess had a good feeling about the song “Ida Red.”

Movies

The History of Back to the Future Began With a High School Yearbook

By Chris Cummins

Movies

The United States vs. Billie Holiday: The Federal Bureau of Narcotics Was Formed to Kill Jazz

By Tony Sokol

Berry renamed the song “Maybellene” when he recorded it on May 21, 1955. It was Berry’s first nationwide hit. He was 28. Willie Dixon was on bass, Johnnie Johnson played piano, Jerome Green shook maracas, and Ebby Hardy beat the drums. Alan Freed and Russ Fratto didn’t do anything for the song, but their names are on the credits as co-songwriters. They effectively collected royalties for teaching Berry a valuable lesson.

Chuck Berry wrote all the songs on his first album, After School Session, which was released in May 1957. It was the same for his next two albums. Berry didn’t include any covers on his albums at all until his fourth album, Rockin’ at the Hops, released in July 1960. Berry starred in some of Alan Freed’s jukebox movies like Rock Rock Rock!, Mister Rock and Roll, and Go, Johnny, Go! He also appeared in Jazz on a Summer’s Day, a 1959 documentary about the Newport Jazz Festival.

“No Need to Be Complainin’, My Objections Overruled”

Berry was arrested in St. Louis, Missouri, in December 1959 for transporting Janice Norine Escalan, a 14-year-old hatcheck girl at Club Bandstand in Juarez, Mexico, across state lines for “immoral purposes.” He was charged under the Mann Act. Berry argued he was offering legitimate employment. An all-male, all-white jury found him guilty on March 11, 1960. Berry appealed, but the conviction was upheld at a 1961 trial. Berry was sentenced to three years. He served 18 months and was released from prison in 1964.

Berry’s career never quite took off again. He had some hits in 1964 and 1965, “Nadine,” “No Particular Place to Go,” “You Never Can Tell,” and “Promised Land.” He was one of the artists in the 1964 concert film The TAMI Show. Berry’s last number 1 hit, “My Ding-a-Ling,” was recorded live in London in 1972 for The London Chuck Berry Sessions album.

Berry never stopped playing live. He traveled with only his guitar and a briefcase for his money, and would grab local bar bands to back him when he hit town. Everyone knew Chuck Berry songs. Simple, three-chord pangs to teenage love, cars and safety belts. Bandleaders like Bruce Springsteen and Steve Miller eagerly lent their fingers and bands to the light traveling guitar player. Most groups were thrilled to get the chance to play for a legend when they weren’t harangued for bending a string too far on an intro. Not even Keith Richards got away with that, just watch the rehearsal portion of the 1987 documentary Hail! Rock ‘n’ Roll.

The Rolling Stones’ guitarist had already been brought in as a surprise backing player for a 1972 Los Angeles show where he was kicked off the stage for setting his amp too loud. Berry would also give Richards a black eye for touching his guitar after a New York City show a decade later. Richards’ early guitar work is modeled on Berry’s style. The Stones covered “Carol,” “Around and Around” and “You Can’t Catch Me.” Richards inducted Berry into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986.

Back to the Future is really just a light, inoffensive, time-bending screwball comedy, and Berry has been the butt of far worse jokes. Spy magazine alleged Berry secretly filmed women in bathrooms. In January 1990, High Society claimed to be “the only magazine with the balls to show Chuck’s berries,” when it published photos of him posing nude with different women.

So when you read an article about Berry recalling the incident where the white kid played “Johnny B. Goode,” remember: it ran in The Onion. Chuck Berry could be accused of a lot of things, but he was an original.

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bmoviedragonsreloaded · 4 years

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Review: American Samurai (1992)

“Why couldn’t we just have been brothers?”

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This review is based on the Region 1 DVD release of the film.

SPOILERS AHEAD

The Cannon Group was on its last legs in the early 90s and American Samurai was one of the last movies distributed during its lifetime. The first of several collaborations between director Sam Firstenberg and star David Bradley, this is a picture with a lot going for it that still manages to confound me. When I first saw it, I was shocked by many of the creative and technical decisions, but having recently seen it again, I think I can hang a lot of them on the old sin of studio overreach. Still, it shines in some important and gratifying ways and is worth a watch if this is your kind of thing.

The plot: An American reporter trained in the ways of the samurai (Bradley) and his photographer (Valarie Trapp) investigate a murder in Turkey, where he uncovers a deadly tournament championed by his vicious half-brother (Mark Dacascos).

Writer John Corcoran (RIP) was a well-known figure in the world of martial arts publication, but his sole movie script is basically Bloodsport with weapons. It starts off incredibly pulpy with the baby protagonist surviving a plane crash and being raised by a modern samurai (John Fujioka), but it almost immediately begins hitting recognizable beats of the Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle, down to a blatant Donald Gibb knockoff character (Rex Ryon). Nevertheless, I think the film originally intended to distinguish itself by being a more dramatic and heartfelt story, with the crux being the conflict between the brothers. We get hints of an emotional undercurrent, with Bradley’s character conflicted about fighting the sibling who feels jealous of his parental favor. However, in the end, we only get a superficial and choppy representation of their feud, including a rushed prologue and a head-spinning psychedelic scene where the lead confronts his brother’s demonic form in a dream. (Shades of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story?)

That’s a recurring trend: parts of the story and action giving the impression of having once been very different. It’s most apparent in two instances: (1) the breakneck romance between David Bradley and Valarie Trapp, with an abrupt sex scene entirely performed by body doubles, and (2) the final duel between the brothers, which I’m certain was initially a short and minimalistic fight before being expanded with footage obviously transplanted from previous scenes. I get the impression that the script was heavily edited to focus on exploitation, and then the movie saw substantial content changes during post-production. It complicates what probably a pretty simple film, to the point that I don’t feel like I can accurately critique the screenplay and the acting. I don’t assume it was ever a dramatic masterpiece, but I wonder whether even Mark Dacascos’ hamfisted acting didn’t seem more appropriate before his character’s motivations were screwed with after the fact.

Speaking of Dacascos, he’s retrospectively one of the main drawing points of the movie. This was his first substantial film role and he’s still in proto form. His presence and intensity are already apparent, his acting would improve, but the filmmakers don’t quite know how to get the most out of his fight scenes. Dacascos looks great with a katana, but if you’re hoping to find the equivalent of his fight scenes from Drive or even the following year’s Only the Strong, you’ll be disappointed at his comparatively restrained adrenaline pieces.

That said, the action is pretty good. I definitely appreciate it more than I did during my first viewing. Weapons are the name of the game, putting the film in the same subcategory as Ring of Steel and the Swordsman series. There’s some purely hand-to-hand stuff in the first half, with David Bradley demonstrating some cool throws, but for the most part, the action’s a variety of colorful opponents fighting each other with a plethora of bladed weapons. The quality of the fights isn’t static, with more than one marred by an overabundance of cutaway shots, but a lot of thought has been put into the choreography. The flashiest match is a rare onscreen appearance of Hong Kong choreographers Dion Lam and Anthony Szeto, but my personal favorite is a sword-versus-ax encounter between David Bradley and a viking-themed opponent (Mark Warren). I like how Bradley first uses only the hilt of his katana to fight, then only the dull side of the blade before he actually starts slicing. It’s not spectacular stuff, but definitely enjoyable.

“Definitely enjoyable” is a good summation of the movie, but only if you’re already into this genre, are a fan of some of the performers, and/or are prepared to find pleasure in the little details. I like Sam Firstenberg’s signature gore (even though the content is clumsily censored in the DVD release) – not just because of how it helps spice up the duels, but because I appreciate how he was one of the few karate filmmakers who utilized special effects in his action scenes. I get a kick out of Valarie Trapp, who’s nothing special as an actor but whose real-life story of being a struggling writer taking small movie roles to get by is genuinely inspiring. And, of course, I love the fact that two action heroes in different stages of their careers were able to do a film together, because even if this isn’t the best, it’s not so for lack of effort. If this sounds like your kind of picture, it’s worth spending a bit of money on…though you might be better off getting the VHS version in this case, which I don’t recall being quite as heavily censored.

SOURCE

American Samurai (1992) Directed by Sam Firstenberg (Revenge of the Ninja) Written by John Corcoran (editor of Inside Kung Fu magazine) Starring David Bradley (American Ninja 3 & 4), Valarie Trapp (Mr. Stitch), Mark Dacascos, Rex Ryan (The Man in the Iron Mask) Cool costars: The late, great John Fujioka plays another benevolent martial arts master, much like his role in American Ninja. The list of tournament fighters and other onscreen combatants include Hong Kong action masters Dion Lam (Black Mask) and Anthony Szeto (Wushu), karate staple Ron Vreeken (Under the Gun), and award-winning stunt pros Koby Azarly (Sector 4: Extraction) and Rocky McDonald (Mission Impossible II). Second unit director and action coordinator Guy Norris has since moved up the studio ladder, nowadays coordinating for major motion pictures like Mad Max: Fury Road and Suicide Squad. Video game fans may recognize composer Craig Stuart Garfinkle from his later work on the World of Warcraft and Fallout series. Content warning: Extreme violence, violence against women, kidnapping, police intimidation Title refers to David Bradley’s lead character, who plays an American trained in the art of the samurai. In a roundabout way, it could also refer to Mark Dacascos and John Fujioka, who are real-life Americans playing characters with samurai training. (If you want to be a pedantic nitpicker, the title’s a total misnomer since no character’s an actual member of the old Japanese military caste.) Cover accuracy: David Bradley and Mark Dacascos posing with swords, the latter seemingly wearing his outfit from the tournament, are certainly very true to the movie. That said, the Japanese syllabery and paper walls in the background don’t convey that hardly any of the story takes place in Japan. Number of full-length fight scenes: 10 Copyright Cannon Pictures / Global Pictures

#film review #film criticism #film critique #action #martial arts #karate #samurai #kendo #kenjutsu #american samurai #david bradley #mark dacascos #valarie trap #rex ryan #sam firstenberg

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popentertainment-interviews · 4 years

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Staying Home with Brent Rivera

By Ari Lafayette

At only 22 years old, Brent Rivera has become a well-known comedic influencer. Known for his work on YouTube, Instagram, and Tik Tok, Brent’s good pictures, and funny short videos have gained him over 19 million Instagram followers. He also has 27 million fans on the app Tik Tok. Additionally, his funny YouTube videos have earned him over 12 million subscribers.

Rivera’s content is always captivating and fun. Fans have seen him do everything from lip syncing videos, to performing funny, relatable skits, to making music. Brent definitely keeps his followers on their toes!

Brent Rivera is from Huntington Beach, California. He has been making YouTube videos since he was only 12 years old, but he really started picking up steam around 2013 when he began making Vines. Rivera’s Vines were lighthearted, relatable, and absolutely hilarious. A fan favorite was his signature “mmhmm” vines.

Many of his most popular Vines featured his sister, Lexi Rivera. The iconic brother-sister duo still frequently makes content together today. On Tik Tok, Lexi is known for her talented dancing skills and fascinating flexibility. She also makes a lot of Tik Toks with her boyfriend, Ben Azelart, who is also a content creator on the app. Together, Brent and Lexi make hilarious dancing videos, skits, and are always pulling pranks on their mom.

In the past, Pop Entertainment has had the opportunity of watching Brent grow, speaking with him a couple of times over the past few years. Our first-time meeting Brent was at DigiFest in New York back in June of 2015. While most of you know Brent for his funny videos, we recently saw him at the Celebrity Basketball Game at VidCon 2019, where we discovered he’s actually a great basketball player too. On the Blue Team, Brent played alongside other influencers, like Alex Wassabi, against the White Team which included more influencers, like David Dobrik and Tristan Jass, to name a few.

We most recently got the chance to catch up with Brent Rivera about his life since quarantine and his upcoming projects with AwesomenessTV

How have you both been doing during this quarantine?

We've been doing good, just focusing on staying positive.

You’ve always put out fun content with AwesomenessTV’s and now are working on episodes of their “Stay Home with Me” programming. How fun was it making them and which did you enjoy most?

It was super fun. We really enjoyed filming High School Trivia.

Can we expect more?

Hopefully.

Congratulations on hitting 25 million TikTok followers! You’ve made a lot of funny skits on the app, but which was the most fun to make so far?

Thank you! I definitely made a lot of videos but when I film with my friends its super fun.

We first met you years ago in your DigiFest days. Since then, Vine and numerous other platforms have come and gone. Which was your favorite and which do you miss most?

Vine was a great start for me, so I definitely miss it, I really like all of the major platforms now including TikTok, Instagram, YouTube.

Last summer we interviewed your female castmates from Light as a Feather at VidCon right before season two came out. Can you tell us if there will be a season three? We certainly hope so!

I'm not sure yet but I hope so, too!

Besides killing the TikTok game and working with AwesomenessTV, what else have you two been doing to keep yourselves occupied on lock down?

We've been trying to film content for our YouTube, Instagram and TikTok and hanging with family.

Finally, this lockdown has been a very stressful and difficult time for many. Do you have any uplifting words for your fans who are struggling on lockdown?

Stay strong, this is only temporary, and we will get through this. Let's use this as a time to learn new things and better ourselves!

#Brent Rivera #2020 #Actor Interviews #Stay Home With #Ari Lafayette

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irarelypostanything · 3 years

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The State of Technology Today

In old science fiction, they described the Internet (even before the Internet was invented) as a landscape you would plug into and get a rush from - my favorite book on the subject is Neuromancer. Maybe you’d plug something into your brain, and then there would be so much information that you would get high on it.

The Internet now is really not that far off from the science fiction fantasy, it’s just more integrated with reality. You go on the phone while waiting for the bus, and you’re there. You record something happening now onto your Facebook live, and you’re there. It’s not quite so interesting to talk about cyberspace as a literal space because we don’t fade to black and transfer our consciousness to the net, like we would in this fantasy, but in a sense the brain does similar things. Inside the net, our minds go into a different mode of thinking. We quickly open links, instead of linearly processing information like we would while reading a book. We see things differently...people become a front-facing entity we can interact with, and a backend we don’t see.

I wish I could refer to this imaginary cyber universe as The Matrix, but unfortunately someone already copyrighted that term. I’m just going to keep calling it FIGNATIA (Facebook, Instagram, Google, Netflix, Apple, TikTok, Intel, Amazon) until it catches on. Even when it doesn’t, I’m going to keep calling it that.

FIGNATIA is the world we enter when we turn on anything that gets us into the net. FIGNATIA is accessible on a phone, a laptop, even a Kindle. And FIGNATIA, in this day and age, is where most of us choose to spend most of our waking moments.

Is it bad? I don’t think so, but there’s certainly something a little bit terrifying about it. In this imagined world, we have a separate entity that’s like us, but not us. It’s a series of attributes, the presence we create every time we like, share, write, or post something. We’re creating a persona for ourselves, and even when we project it via a conference video or a picture, it’s still not REALLY us. It’s as authentic as we can make it, but it’s still just far enough from real to serve as something of a mockup.

View Facebook in developer mode, and you can see the JSON-like attribute structure that makes up every person. Hit “view source” on a website, and you can see portions of the frontend code that render a website. Unless you’re an app developer or a data scientist, you’re not going to get much out of this except the ability to to remember passwords you forgot and bypass certain payment walls (or, in my case, briefly pretend I’m Neo in The Matrix)...but as a metaphor, I find it interesting.

Many of these things, like software objects or whatever the f*** it is JavaScript decided to use, have an outward-facing component. That’s our world - it’s an image that makes comments, a username we talk to, a bunch of pictures. Underneath that, in the background, are all the many pieces of related information that develop as we go about our lives in FIGNITIA. They have metadata. They don’t just track what we post, they track the locations, the times, the many other related pieces of data. With this information at their disposal, FIGNITIA attempts to predict the future by influencing it - it determines what we’re likely to want next, how long we want it for, where we’re going.

And someone like me will act like we’re above all this by seemingly making nothing secret, and by sharing thoughts like this with the world...security by obfuscation, we might say...no one can find anything on me if they have to navigate through a deluge. But then tracking tools exist. Run Tumblr through some tools that leverage the API, and you can tease out specific details. In the same way, websites that cannot seem to be shut down exist that scrape addresses, simply by using associated information.

I think. I never figured out how some of these tools work, and why they’re legal.

FIGNITIA exists in a feedback loop. We compete for approval, for attention, and the data this provides is enough to make a person feel high. Briefly. The amount of pleasure created is so brief, and so fleeting, that we keep finding ourselves drawn back.

And, again...nothing is wrong with this. But it’s not reality. What I write here is still coming from me, but it’s not EXACTLY the cadence of how I interact in real life. The picture I post may be as close a representation of reality as modern technology can create, but it’s still not QUITE real. Recording serves as a way to document history, but at what point do we record excessively? At what point do we find ourselves traveling to landmarks for the pictures, instead of to behold the view?

Reality, in that sense, can quickly feel more like a recording effort than like a series of experiences to enjoy, or at least to live through. The problem with this virtual reality isn’t that it’s bad or overly addictive, but that it seems so close to reality that the two images become immistable.

We all have the ability to unplug, at any moment we want to, and that’s why there’s nothing inherently bad about the software world we have created. It marks people safe in natural disasters, creates no shortage of minable data we can exploit in order to determine trends, allows us to investigate things in ways most people don’t even know are possible by combing data they don’t even remember creating. The net is beautiful, in that sense - for advertising, for helping to make business transactions, for forming a brand on the skills in our respective fields we wish to market. The net is great. I cannot even remember what life was like before we had a high-speed connection.

But it seems we live so many times in it, from the latest TV series to the newest news article to the last thing suggested to us by an algorithm passively harvesting the information we provided. And sometimes it feels wrong, but I don’t know why. There’s no patience in it. In the net, time passes differently.

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calpops · 4 years

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falling facade | c.h.

part four: falling failures

part one: falling flowers || part two: falling freedom || part three: falling fears

5k words

<< >>

Explanations were needed and time was not a luxury that Calum and Arden were afforded. Pressure from parents and media began to intensify at the release of the paparazzi photos. The ring was splashed across headlines again, the first public appearance of the new couple sparking more than Calum could have anticipated. His friends were asking questions as well and they were getting harder and harder to avoid. Missed calls piled up and the pressure of secrets sat heavy. Only a day had passed since the obligatory paparazzi walk and things were getting wildly out of hand. They couldn’t avoid it forever; that’s exactly what he told Michael when he paid the Clifford house a visit and asked to see Arden. He realized he didn’t even have his fake fiancée’s phone number and she was completely off the social media grid. They were due for answers and they were due for posts.

Management wanted to start the presence of the relationship in the public eye hard and fast and frequently and then start to taper off to convince of the eventual split. Michael nodded his understanding when Calum showed up in search of Arden; he disappeared to yell through the house for her and in just a moment Arden took his spot in the doorway. Calum could tell she was tired. Her soft hair was in a messy bun and strands fell down to frame her face. She wore an old and oversized T-shirt tucked into shorts where her hands found a home in the pockets and a mild expression captured her face with dark circles under her eyes. She leaned against the door frame and licked her lips, teeth catching in their venture and reminding Calum of momentary bliss on a dance floor.

“We need to figure some things out,” he started with and when she frowned and her knees knocked into each other he knew that was too open ended and nerve wracking of a statement to start with. “We need to get our story straight is all. We need to figure out who we’re telling what.”

“Oh. Right,” she mumbled and craned her neck to look behind her and into the house before looking back at Calum. “Not here. Please. Can we go somewhere else?”

“Of course.”

They went to Calum’s place where it was quiet and private and they could think out loud with each other, with only Duke to listen in on them. Calum could see Arden visibly relaxing from the nervous state she was in at the doorway. She sank into the plush couch and Duke surprisingly made his way over to her; let her scratch under his chin and settled at her side. Calum sat on her other side and let them both have a moment to think through the questions they knew needed to be answered.

“It’s so quiet here. I don’t think it’s been this quiet at Michael’s since, well—since I got there,” she said and let out a tired sigh. Calum wondered if the noise of so many inhabitants living in the house had interrupted her sleep. “This is nice. I can actually hear myself think.”

Calum wanted to tell her she could come over and stay whenever she liked, for the quiet. But with only four days of a fake relationship under their belts and years of not knowing each other after years of orbiting each other, he thought it might be too soon. He let her have a few more minutes of quiet, her tired eyes casted her gaze out the window and towards the mid morning sun. Her hand lazily pet Duke who careened into her side and was satiated by the touch. Calum could see her eyes were heavy with every blink lasting longer than the previous. Her feet slightly wiggled as they couldn’t quite reach the hardwood floor and short stuff affectionately made way into Calum’s thoughts. He tried to bite back a grin at the memory of her feisty dislike of what Calum might now consider a term of endearment. From there his mind sank into other memories; trying so hard to place Arden in more moments. But she had disappeared for years. He couldn’t conjure up an image of her in a concert crowd. Never saw her backstage. For some reason, she avoided the band. Calum then realized the band would be the best tool to utilize for their situation.

“I think Ashton and Luke need to know,” Calum suddenly blurted out and he wasn’t sure why or where the words came from but they killed the silence and the relaxed look on Arden’s face. “At least them. They can help with the PR stuff. It’d make it easier. They can have my back in interviews when it’s brought up. If they know the game we’re playing they can help me fill in the gaps when you’re not there. And it would get them off my back.”

Arden bit her lip and absentmindedly or perhaps with a mind full to the brim; nodded. She didn’t say anything in response immediately but turned her gaze over to Calum. He knew she was scrutinizing the situation. She looked him up and down once before speaking.

“We can tell them. You’re right. They could help,” she affirmed—Michael’s help could only go so far, it would be unrealistic for the rest of the band to be out of the loop. “But can we hold off on telling our parents? At least for a while? I don’t think I’m ready to face all of that yet.”

Calum recalled her words at the diner from the previous day. Disappoint my parents. Arden believed they wouldn’t be okay with the situation, that they would think less of her for their drunken night and reckless decisions without coherent thought processes and all that rained down on them because of it. He still didn’t have the full story to that reasoning and it didn’t seem she was wanting or willing to offer it now. He wanted to know why; to have a reason and justification for white lies and half truths to his family. But her comfortability and wants needed to be factored in as well. They had created all of this together. He found with another look at her that he couldn’t deny her of the request, not when her eyes were pleading and her lower lip was trembling. Maybe not ever.

“We can tell them we’re still trying to figure us out,” Calum supplied a half truth. In all honesty he wasn’t sure what they were to each other. “We can be vague. We reconnected while you were visiting Michael. We went to Vegas for a wedding and maybe we got swept up in the romance and got engaged. But we’re still trying to figure things out. They don’t need to know about the details.”

Or about the contracts.

“Are you sure you’re okay with that? I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie for me.”

Calum didn’t tell her that it might not feel like lying. He just shrugged and cleared his throat. She took it as a confirmation and a tired smile slowly tugged at the corners of her mouth. He couldn’t help but notice her lips were glossy and faintly remember the taste of sugar on them. It had been days since the kiss. He missed the sweetness and the soft touch. He didn’t miss the feeling of falling or wind at his back; that was ever present and all consuming. It was shifting. Some moments it was an easy and exhilarating descent through soft clouds. Other times it was a free fall filled with inhibitions and anxieties. But here, in the quiet with just the two of them and walls crumbled down and secrets able to be shared, Calum was content to enjoy the feeling.

“We can call them tomorrow,” Calum decided; knowing their parents wouldn’t be able to wait much longer. He wasn’t sure what tactics Arden was employing to hold her parents off or how much they might be hounding Michael for explanations as well. “But we are due for a post today.”

Calum knew once whatever photo they took went up there would be an influx of questions. Luke and Ashton would be on him in a second, and recognizing the house they might even drive over to get their answers. He could probably stall his parents' curiosity with some texts. Calum hadn’t even spared the comments on the initial photo any thought. He almost didn’t dare to look. He could picture them in his mind and he figured they were better left online. He was grateful Arden wasn’t online anymore. Her socials had gone dark months ago and Calum found some peace of mind from that.

“How do we do it our way?” She asked, referring to the fact they wanted to keep as much of themselves to themselves. She reveled in privacy and feared losing control of her life. Calum wanted to play the publicity game in a way they could win.

He had put a lot of thought into how to go about posting. The paparazzi photos had worked in their favor. Her hidden face and back to the camera provided a sense of security and left most of the comments circulating about the ring and the way Calum looked at her. Management had no complaints about the way they conducted the pap walk. Calum came off as protective and she was portrayed as shy. They needed to keep that narrative in their hands and on the board. They couldn’t let false claims and the wrath of the PR team take over.

“The most important thing right now still seems to be the ring,” Calum mused and took a glance down at her hand still coddling Duke with pets to see it fit to her finger. He was surprised she was wearing it; his visit was unprompted and though a post was scheduled for the day he didn't mention it before leaving. “Good thing you’re wearing it.”

“I haven’t taken it off,” she admitted with a faint blush and stalling hand. Duke let out a small whimper at the loss of contact as she brought her hand up but nuzzled into her further to make up for it. “All those people at Michael’s don’t know it’s fake. I also don’t want to lose it and get us in trouble.”

Her reasoning made sense and Calum was hit with the thought that pretending for her was a lot more permanent with the lack of privacy at the Clifford compound. It followed her everywhere. The weight of the ring was a constant reminder. At least when Calum got home he could stop pretending. Though, he was then faced with the question of how much was real and how much was fake. The ring was fake. The feelings that followed him were a whole other battle that he was entirely unprepared for.

“Next time we decide to get fake engaged, let’s pick a less hideous ring,” she said as the glare of the diamond picked up the sunlight and glinted on the couch. “I don’t know why people would want to see this thing.”

Calum smirked at the lighthearted words and the gaudy ring that was too big for her small finger. “It’s not that bad.”

Arden gave him a serious look with an arched eyebrow and a tilt of her head.

“It is pretty bad,” he admitted in a grumble of defeat. “But I’d rather the attention and scrutiny be on it.” Rather than you.

Arden seemed to understand the implications of those three unsaid words. She went to fidget with the ring but stopped herself and instead pet Duke who appreciated the attention with relaxed eyes slipping closed and a small groan. Calum couldn’t believe how well the old dog took to her. He was usually standoffish around new people. Hardly liked attention from anyone other than Calum. But he was soaking up her pets and his tail was wagging at every word she said directed to him. Calum was awestruck and an idea hit him; another way to keep Arden from taking the brunt of the attention and invasion of privacy. A way to stay themselves in the face of pretending.

“What are you thinking?” Arden asked and Calum knew she could see the wheels turning in his mind and how loudly his silence spoke in that moment.

“I know what we can do,” Calum began, then shifted to grab his phone out of his pants pocket and brought himself even closer into Arden’s side. He beckoned for Duke who hesitated a moment, wanting nothing more than to stay under the affection of Arden. But he slowly sat himself up and gave Calum a cursory glance with uninterested eyes.

Calum reached over to pick him up and when he gave a little wiggle and huff Calum laughed and placed him in Arden’s arms. She didn’t hesitate to receive the disgruntled dog or coo to him to get him happy again. Calum’s heart was warm at the exchange; a smile growing with every baby voiced word she said. The sun spilled in through floor length windows and lit her in a soft glow as Calum pulled his camera up. The ring was visible in her position of holding Duke. Sensing what was happening Arden did her best to hide her face in the embrace of Duke. Calum leaned in with his arm outstretched and the camera facing them. He gave her a small kiss on the cheek, helping to obscure what could be seen of her face. He snapped a photo and then a few more when she was grinning and Duke was set down. Calum’s arm fell and his lips hovered as Arden turned to him.

Honey and peaches and sugar were just before him. Her eyes were hooded and soft, hazel gleaming in the light and Calum couldn’t help but inch closer. He vaguely heard Duke jump off the couch and pad off to his own bed but he was too caught up in the moment to give it much more than half a thought. She blinked slowly and Calum did too and without seeing or knowing he was kissing her again. Tiny alarm bells rang in his mind but they were drowned out by the sweetness invading his senses. He didn’t care that Arden was Michael’s sister. He didn’t care that the pretenses of their relationship were fake and constructed by contracts—but real with a date and a kiss preceding all of that. All he cared about was the moment and the feeling of her lips against his. And the way his hand found its way to her jaw, fingertips light and tingling as they trailed along and his fingers tangled in her hair.

The moment was bliss and longer lived than on the dance floor. But still, all too soon she was pulling away but staying still in his hold. His eyes shot open to find hers still closed, lips pouted and pink dancing across her cheeks. Her eyes opened slowly; he saw the even rise and fall of her chest. She was calm and that reinforced the feelings of bliss Calum experienced in their brief moment. Words were evasive and meaningless when their gazes held and his fingers drifted from her hair back to her jaw. They were silent and let that speak for them. He could hear the tiny breaths escaping her. Could see her eyes dart up and down as if in contemplation of what might happen next. As Calum began to think that through—debating if he should lean in again or not—she made the decision and pulled away, leaving his hand to fall as a sigh escaped her.

“Guess we got caught up in the charade,” she said as her gaze went distant and the pink on her cheeks began to fade. She bit her lip and leaned back into the plush cushions of the couch.

“Yeah,” Calum agreed though he wasn’t too sure of that on his end.

His camera still captured the screen of his phone and a tiny photo sat in the bottom corner. It reminded him of what the moment was and what needed to be done. He pulled up his social media and found the photo where Arden was mostly hidden by Duke and Calum’s kiss. He was apprehensive and indecisive when captioning it. Arden was silent behind him, relaxed, while he was hunched over with phone in one hand and chin in the other. Settling for the less is more tactic he simply put a heart and leaned back and angled the phone for Arden’s eyes.

“Is this okay to post?”

He wanted to make sure they were always on the same page when it came to the stunt. He wanted her permission. Even though it was his profile, her comfortability of being on it was more important. She nodded and Calum hit post with his heart in his throat and sweaty palms still gripping the phone. He could still feel their kiss, could still taste sugar when he licked his lips and turned to face her. She was seemingly at ease while Calum was at war with himself.

It only took a few minutes of the post being up for the calls and texts to start piling up. Calum had called his family the previous night after he and Arden decided to hold off. He evaded their questions as best he could and said he’d explain when the time was right and they were ready. It was a sinking feeling to be engulfed in; he had never been so evasive with his family before. But it was justified to keep Arden okay. He knew they were picking up on the fact he couldn’t say things, not that he didn’t want to or didn’t trust them. But Luke and Ashton were still in the dark and seeking the light. Others had questions; a few exes popped up in search of answers, but they weren’t important.

“Should we bite the bullet and tell Ash and Luke the truth in one go?” Calum asked as his phone lit up with a FaceTime call from Ashton, again.

Arden took a moment to think it over and when a grin spread across her face and mischief twinkled in her hazel eyes Calum couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.

“We could have fun with it first,” she said and Calum knew exactly what she meant as she sat up.

He slid back and wrapped an arm around her, let her head rest against him and started a group call with her hand and ring in the shot; it delicately rested against his chest and he was sure she could feel the beat of his heart just like she did with her face to his chest at the wedding. It was bound to skip and thump a little harder than usual. The connection came alive at a moment’s notice and Ashton lit up the screen with his mouth already running; throwing questions around rapidly—with some choice words to highlight his confusion—until the realization Arden was right there and snuggled into Calum’s side donned on him.

“What the fuck?” Ashton’s new tirade of questioning began with an expletive. “Don’t tell me you two idiots actually got married in Vegas?”

“Married?” Luke asked as he joined the call and caught Ashton’s last sentence. “You married Michael’s sister?”

“Management must be covering it up with just an engagement. Oh god, it makes so much sense,” Ashton reasoned though he was wildly wrong. Calum and Arden stayed quiet; mildly amused by the guessing game ensuing, even egging it on by nuzzling closer together. “Nothing good ever comes from Vegas. No offense, but what the hell were you guys thinking?”

“They were probably drunk,” Luke supplied and then tacked on in a mumble. “Sure glad I don’t have a sister.”

They let Ashton and Luke simmer with comments and questions for another couple of minutes. They came in and out with Calum’s subpar internet connection. Only when the speculation started getting out of hand; wild theories of a secret relationship for months or years tumbling from their lips. Calum decided to cut them off and Arden backed away; the fun quickly dwindling and crashing back into reality.

“Guys stop. We’re not married,” Calum said in a raised voice, he thought he felt Arden flinch next to him. Once Ashton and Luke’s theories died on their lips and the connection went quiet Calum cleared his throat. “We didn’t get married in Vegas. We haven’t been in a secret relationship.”

“Then what the hell is happening?” Luke asked.

“Not married but engaged then?” Ashton questioned and blew out a huff. “Who goes to Vegas and just gets engaged?”

“We’re not really engaged,” Calum stated and eyebrows shot up in surprise as a response. They both stayed quiet on the other ends and gave time for Calum to explain. “It was supposed to be a joke, we think… We were pretty drunk. Management didn’t think it was funny. Now it’s a stunt.”

The few sentences it took to wrap up the explanation was enough. They had all had their own individual and band struggles with management and PR disasters. Calum didn’t need to offer up why management didn’t find it funny or why they had taken it so seriously they made it into a stunt. Luke and Ashton were aware of how extreme things could get in the matters of the press. In the face of maintaining or creating images. A lot of things came down to the will of management. Arden’s fear of losing control wasn’t so far fetched or fantastical. But Calum had already swore to himself he’d do anything and everything in his power to keep her from spiraling at the hands of the media and management.

Arden stayed quiet as Luke and Ashton absorbed the news and asked a few follow up questions—how long, what commitments did they sign up for, was there anything they could do to help. Calum responded in the best ways he could and kept an eye on Arden all the while. She sank back into the couch, knees resting on the cushions and fingers playing with the hem of her shorts. She was barely within the shot of the camera now. Calum dominated most of the picture and explanation. He wanted to wrap it up and get back to Arden. Craved more moments made just between them. Thoughts of the diner and a simple line drawing in red crayon and secrets slipping out like they didn’t matter captured his thoughts as the call was winding down and questions were finally answered. Ashton and Luke were on board to do whatever they could to aid them in their cause to keep playing it their way.

When Calum finally hung up he looked back at Arden. She was still and the picture of tired. Although Calum wanted to take her away again; off in search of somewhere real where more stories could be shared he could tell she wasn’t up for it. He laid back against the couch and didn’t move when she rested against him again; it was almost as if they were both working on instinct and seeking comfort from the other. He soaked up the essence of honey and sweetness and breathed her in. She let out a drawn out sigh he swore must have been a yawn she was trying to hide.

“Wanna stay here a while?” He asked just barely above a whisper and felt her nod against him.

He had no complaints for that. His day was free and the mid morning was painting a lovely picture out the window before them. The couch was comfortable and her presence made him warmer than the sun heating his skin. He had a culmination of plans for them that he could sit with in the silence. For everything fake they had to do he wanted to follow it with something real. He wanted to show Arden the sides of him that no one else got to see. Wanted to show her the places that made him feel like himself. And if in that process he got to see the sides of her no one else knew or secrets she had never shared before then that was a bonus.

They sat in a comfortable silence and position. Time slipped past unbeknownst in the quiet that surrounded them. Calum had never been one for something like this. He had never been so at ease he didn’t need words or background noise or distractions. But with only the sound of her small breaths, his heart beating a little louder than usual and the occasional snore from Duke he was convinced he was finding a liking for it. Without thinking his hand wandered to her hair. Just minutes before his fingers were tangled in the strands and his lips pressed against hers. This time he calmly stroked through the soft tresses and ate up the content sigh that escaped her. She watched out the window and he watched her until her eyes slipped closed and he allowed himself to follow her into sleep.

When they woke the sun was behind the tree line, hiding between leaves and branches that were casted in a warm and golden glow. Calum was first to wake and take a moment to gather his surroundings. The couch. A usual napping spot for him. Arden. She was still rested against him, his arm still around her and fingers falling on her collarbones where their trail of brushing through her hair ended. Duke was still in his bed but peaked up with a half interested gaze as Arden shifted as she woke. She greeted Calum with slow blinks and a slow smile crossing her face.

“I haven’t slept that well since I’ve been here,” she admitted around a yawn and a stretch; leaving Calum’s side with the motion. “I should probably get back before Michael thinks we’re up to no good.”

She reached for her phone in her shorts pocket, Calum assumed she was going to call for a car and stopped her with a hand on top of hers. “I’ll bring you.”

The car ride was quiet as they both contemplated the events of the day. The plan for their parents would need to be set into motion soon. Luke and Ashton could now help in their endeavors. The new photo was exploding with buzz and speculation. The kiss on the cheek lingered and became something much more. Their real moment when the camera and their guards dropped was tailspinning through Calum’s subconscious. Calum could see how busy Michael’s house was when they arrived. Cars spilled onto the road and people passed in the front windows. He put the car in park and caught the end of an eye roll from Arden as she took in the added company.

“Give me your phone,” Calum said quickly in a force of realization. “We need each other’s numbers.”

Arden gave him a puzzled look but handed the device over unlocked. Calum quickly added his number to her contacts and sent himself a text so he could have hers too.

“Text me whenever you want to get away from the noise,” he offered as he passed her phone back.

She bit her lip and looked down at the screen; seeing his name and the small message sent to his phone. A ring in the message box made her laugh and for the first time he noticed small dimples appearing as her smile grew.

“You’re ridiculous,” she commented as she shook her head and tapped the screen. He leaned over to see what she was doing but she angled herself away until she was done; showing his updated info to include the ring in his name. “Just in case I ever forget we’re fake engaged.”

She said it with a wink and a small giggle that filled Calum’s chest with a nervous warmth and flutter as he laughed along with her. She unbuckled but didn’t make a move for the door handle. Instead she leaned over towards Calum, a now familiar brush of her lips ghosting on his cheek as she thanked him. Calum swore he’d never tire of her gratitude though he wasn’t sure he truly deserved it. He didn’t feel like he’d done anything worthy of a thank you; but he never rejected her words or the warmth of her closeness. It was all so consuming and just a bit addictive.

“I have a feeling I’ll be seeing you soon,” she said with a pointed gaze at the colossal house filled with too many people in front of them.

“I look forward to it,” he replied with every ounce of honesty in him.

Arden left Calum with a smile and a wave when the door was shut. He made sure she got inside okay, waited to drive off until the door was shut behind her and his head stopped spinning from the overwhelming scent of peaches lingering in the car. He drove home with the windows open in an attempt to get his head above water and mind away from places it shouldn’t dive into. She said it herself; they were caught up in the charade. Everything meant nothing more than the facade they had to put on. A speck of doubt pushed its way through his thoughts; her words were drawn out and unsure. He wondered if she too was trying to convince herself of that. He couldn’t bring himself to believe it was all fake. At least not on his end. Falling failures crashed around him in plumes of smoke that threatened to choke him; his descent was becoming more and more dangerous as each smile and real moment forced him down faster and faster.

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gstdaisuki · 4 years

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A Talk with Nathan McCree

(this is a followup to my video on Nathan’s work, which you should watch(!), and a mirror of the Patreon post)

Nathan McCree is well-known for his work on Tomb Raider. If you go digging, you’ll find he’s been interviewed about the series several times. However, he’s done quite a lot more. I’d like to fill in some of the gaps. Below are snippets from my chat with Nathan about music on the Megadrive, what it’s like to work within limitations, and music in the future.

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GST: Skeleton Krew's music is an oddity on the Megadrive. there's nothing else quite like it. I saw you mention that the soundscape was inspired by the graphics, which makes sense --they compliment each other beautifully. I want to ask what other influences you had in mind, if any. How much of the soundtrack was just created by just pushing strange sounds out of your tools?

NM: It's very difficult to say exactly where inspiration comes from. Mostly I am inspired by the kit I am using and the sounds they make, so in this case it was the sounds I was creating on the Yamaha chip inside the Megadrive. But musically at the time I was listening to a lot of psychedelic electronic bands like Ozric Tentacles, The Orb and lots of dance/trance/house music of the era.

GST: Now that you mention Ozric Tentacles, the arp sequences in Clockdrops have a similar feel to some of the tracks in Skeleton Krew. It's kind of striking, though I think the direction you went in is actually better realized because you seem to work so well within the FM on the Megadrive. (Hopefully the musical comparison isn't too offensive!)

NM: No I'm not offended by the comparison at all. I did learn a lot about synth patterns and textures from Ozric Tentacles, but again, without copying, I took what I learned and went in my own direction with it. It's important to always have a picture or an emotion of the project you are working on as this helps construct the music in a way which fits the mood of the product and as a result should gel the visuals and the animations together. The music in effect, acts as a kind of glue for the project which holds it all together.

GST: On the opposite end of the oddity spectrum, Astérix and the Power of the Gods for the Megadrive features nothing but classical songs. I'm curious if this was a decision from the game designers, or an exercise for you, or something else.

NM: It was a decision made by the game designer and programmer, Stefan Walker. Stef asked me if it were possible to convert 15 or so of the most famous classical pieces in history that were out of copyright protection (older than 90 years). Of course I said yes, and we set about listening and searching for pieces which fit that criteria and which would be suitable for the game. The conversion process from a full-orchestra down to a 6 note-polyphonic FM synthesizer was a challenge but a very enjoyable one, and the result earned the accolade "Best Megadrive Music Ever". I was rather chuffed with that.

GST: The soundtrack for BLAM! Machine Head is listed as released in 1995, which is before the game came out. Was this a promotional thing?

NM: Yes it was a promotional release of 300 vinyls. We sent a load to UK Clubs to try and get some club play time to promote the game. We succeeded a little but game soundtracks weren't really the thing back then so it gained little traction.

GST: That’s pretty amazing! That was late 1995, right on the precipice of game music leaking into the mainstream. (For reference, "Sega Tunes" came out in August 1996, "Club Saturn" in 1996, and Tommy Tallarico released his arrangement albums in mid-94 and mid-96) Did you get any feedback / reviews from the clubs?

NM: Yes we did. A few were kind enough to give us some feedback. One club I remember said about Nano-Seed, "a floor-filler!". That was good.

GST: Relatedly, what is your experience with club music? Some of the tracks on BLAM! sound perfect for the era. I wouldn't expect them to be written by someone who was previously unfamiliar with club music. Do you remember any particular songs or artists that you drew inspiration from?

NM: I was clubbing a lot in the 90s. I was going to Hot To Trot in Mansfield once a month, Renaissance in Derby in between and a few other local dance venues in Derby. In the end I was clubbing every weekend. Apart from the psychedelic bands I mentioned earlier I can't really pin-point a particular dance music artist. I was listening to so much and none of it was being repeated. I was constantly listening to new tracks. It was a very inspirational time musically and on top of all this I was writing my own dance music in my spare time outside of working at Core Design. So yeah, there was a whole lot of influence that went into the BLAM! Machinehead soundtrack. Having said that, with my writing, I always try to write something which I haven't heard before so I hope there is something unique and new about the music in BLAM! Machinehead.

GST: About Swagman: This seems like the most involved orchestral soundtrack that you had created since Soulstar. I'd like to compare the two a bit. How closely were you working with the rest of the team at this time? Swagman isn't a rail shooter so you can't match the soundtrack with the action in the levels... How much better was your gear at this point? I'd say "it doesn't sound like you struggled with your gear this time" but you actually disguised that struggle quite well in Soulstar, haha.

NM: As you say, Swagman wasn't a rail-shooter, so scripting the music to fit the game wasn't possible. Instead I used the location of each level as my main source of inspiration, and created atmospheres to fit those - The Nursery, In the Garden, Down the Well, The Crypt for example. I had some new kit by the time I started writing Swagman. Mainly the addition of the Roland JV1080 which I had expanded with the Orchestral Boards 1 & 2 and the World Expansion Board. I also had a Roland JV90 which is the keyboard version of the JV1080. That too was expanded. So I had plenty of voice-polyphony at that point and lots of very useful orchestral patches to play with. So you're right, it was less of a struggle with Swagman, but both projects were still very enjoyable to create. With Soulstar, I ended up using quite a few saw-tooth, synth-lead patches to create the brass ensembles. They actually sounded pretty good once they were buried in amongst the rest of the orchestral sounds!

GST: Battle Engine Aquila marks a soundtrack where you were freelance AND in the distant future of 2003. How much of your gear did you leave behind when you left Core Design to go freelance? And how much of it was digital instruments on your computer at this point? I ask the latter because, to my ears, this game sounds about as good as you can get without hiring a real orchestra.

NM: So obviously leaving Core Design meant saying goodbye to all the kit I had built up over the 6 years that I worked there, but of course I needed something to work with as a freelancer. So I spent a large chunk of my Tomb Raider money on a new studio for myself. Apart from the obvious stuff like a mixing desk, studio monitors and a PC, the decision needed to be made as to what instruments/synths I should buy. I had been really impressed with the Roland JV1080 so I bought one of those (and expanded it as before) and the synth geek in me also decided to by one of Roland's latest creations, the JP8000 - a fully record-able and controllable raw synth machine! With this machine it was possible to record the movement of every pot and fader straight to Cubase. A very useful tool for dance music, and to this day I still haven't used it to it's full potential. I also bought an Akai S9000 sampler which I used mainly for drums, so once again my orchestral setup was synth-based, rather than sample-based. So I started out freelance with this kit in 1998. When I got the opportunity to work on Battle Engine Aquila I decided I needed a bigger orchestra so I bought another Roland JV1080 (expanded again) and an E-MU Virtuoso 2000 orchestral synth which I quickly binned when the main controller knob became faulty and I wasn't impressed with the architecture of the signal path. I continued to use the Akai S9000 sampler for a few more years for electronic music but as soon as computers became fast enough for sample based editing inside the sequencing software, it too became a dust collector on my studio shelf along with other outboard gear which were replaced by VST instruments and Plugins. To this day I still use the 2 Roland JV1080s and my Roland JP8000, and that's about it. I'm not one of these musicians who needs to hide behind a million synths or new pieces of kit every month to convince people I can write music. I'm one of these guys who can make music from anything. A fork, knife, bottle, my kid's mini toy guitar, or glockenspiel. If it makes a note, I can use it, which I frequently have in my compositions over the years. I remember when I was working on a prehistoric game called BC, I used a metal electric fire which I scraped with a nail and hit some bricks with drum sticks to create the percussion sounds for the music. I don't need to buy new kit to be creative.

GST: I'm curious about what the limits are when it comes to crafting something unique. If you go too "far out," you'll have a unique song, but it might not resemble "music". Where's the balance between copying the songs you heard in the club and becoming autechre? Same question for non-electronic music: It's possible to get unique compositions if you go to the edge of music theory, but that can also become inaccessible. (You did seem to use odd time for the end theme of Waterlollies (11/8 by my count) though, which is always a fun technique.)

NM: Finding something new isn't about moving further and further away from music, it's about persevering with textures, ensembles, sounds, patterns and harmony until you find or create something which you haven't heard before. You have to wade through a load of stuff you have already heard until you find new waters. Sometimes that can take hours, sometimes days. You have to keep going. Adding stuff, deleting stuff. Thinking outside the box. Sometimes forgetting what you have been taught. Turning things upside down, back to front. It also helps to enter altered states of the mind when creating. This can be done in a variety of ways. Working late into the night until you are close to falling asleep for example, puts your brain into an almost dream state which helps create new things which you wouldn't normally think of during the day. This is why many creatives, and not just musicians, do their best work in the early hours of the morning. Other things can help too, drinking alcohol, but this has a negative impact on your hearing, and then of course there's marijuana which I think most musicians that have ever lived swear by! Personally for me, it's about perseverance, working at the detail and striving for perfection. Music doesn't have to be complicated or removed from tonality and harmony to be different. There are billions of combinations, it's just about looking for the new ones.

GST: One more question about the early days: Does any of the original software or source code for your Megadrive music still exist?

NM: There's a possibility that I have a copy of the programme somewhere on my hard drives but it needs a special custom built PCI card installed in your PC to work and that, I do not have anymore. You see in those days, getting access to certain elements of the games console just wasn't possible like it is today. Now you install some dev tools plugin and you have direct access to every feature of the console. Back in the early 90s we had to dismantle the machine with a screwdriver, rip out the circuit boards, making notes of the chip serial numbers and manufacturers, then calling the company and asking them for a full specification of the pin numbers and what each one did. After that, we would order the chips we wanted (or rip them out of the games console itself) and design our own circuit board which included the chips we wanted and have it all re-mounted onto a custom built PCI card which we would then install into a PC. After that, it was all about programming. We followed a similar process for the Megadrive sound chip. It was a Yamaha YM2612. So we ordered a couple of these directly from Yamaha and once we had the full spec it was pretty simple to work out how to wire it up on a circuit board. All we needed to do was to add left and right phono sockets to the output pins on the chip and send the 5v power supply to it and there you go, Megadrive synth on a PC! Of course there are the other pins (24 in total) which needed connecting up to the data bus, memory access pins, read/write request lines, interrupt request line, ground pins etc. but once we'd figured all this out it was simple enough to create a circuit diagram for the board. Once we had that we sent off the design and the 2 x Yamaha chips to a circuit board manufacturing plant in the UK. A week later our 2 x Megadrive synth PCI boards arrived. We plugged one into my PC and the other into Sean (programmer)'s PC, and we got to work coding up the sequencer. Sean took care of the machine-code level programming of the synth engine and I programmed the high-level language user interface. We had the whole sequencer up and running in 4 months. So I may have the source code and sequencer files but I don't have the hardware on which it runs. Of course I could have another circuit board made but it would take some time to get all that together again.

GST: What happened to Console Sounds / Industrial Ambiance? I can’t find it anywhere.

NM: I took the album off-line. It was available as a library album for a while but the critiques viewed it as if it was an album release and began slating it for sounding like off-the-shelf music - which is exactly what it was. It was never an album release. It was just a bunch of tunes that had not been used for anything, and I was just trying to earn some money. But when the critiques got hold of it and slated it, I took it down.

GST: That's understandable, but unfortunate. Have you considered bringing the album (or any of the songs) back on a service like Bandcamp or Soundcloud?

NM: Yes I do have ideas and avenues for a lot of my music. The first thing I want to do is to officially release all my game soundtracks. After that I'll see what's left and if there's any mileage releasing any of it.

GST: Actually, how much of your music can you release on Bandcamp? I know that the rights can get tied up...

NM: Well after the Kickstarter campaign, I am now officially a record company and publisher so I can release any of my music whenever I like. I don't need a platform like Bandcamp or Soundcloud (where often the composer/performer ends up surrendering their rights for little compensation). I don't need to do that now. I can release my music myself and retain 100% of the rights, which is a better way to go. It's been a hell of a lot of work to get to the company to this point, but the infrastructure is there now, so I'm going to continue with that.

GST: Oh, that's exciting! Do you have any idea when we can expect to see some old soundtracks released? I'm also very interested in the dance music you wrote outside of Core Design. That would be a fun throwback thing.

NM: I want to start rolling my old game soundtracks out over the next few years. I have earmarked about 10 albums which I think are worthy of release. They all require some work in terms of remastering and re-recording. Some would benefit from a live orchestral recording like Soulstar, Heimdall II, Swagman and Battle Engine Aquila to name a few, but those kinds of production are very expensive so we'll have to see how funding goes for that kind of thing. In the meantime though, I will be releasing new synthetic recordings of these soundtracks - all made using the original equipment which I wrote them on, so they will sound the same, only better! Yeah there's probably an album or two of dance type tracks kicking around which could be released. Other songs too which are still unfinished so i'll need to do a bit of work to finish those up into some releasable form. So plenty of work to keep me busy for the next 5 or so years I'd say.

GST: Where can we find news about these remastered albums? Where's a good place to find you? Is there anything else you'd like to plug?

NM: The best places to keep informed as to what I'm doing career wise is on my official FB page: https://www.facebook.com/nathanmccreeofficial/ and also my Twitter page: https://twitter.com/nrpmccree As far as plugs go, please just support my concerts. They cost a huge amount of money and time to organize and I can only keep doing them if we get a good attendance. It's really important, not just for The Tomb Raider Suite, but for games music in general, and if you do like the Tomb Raider Suite album which is free to play on Spotify, please consider buying a copy. This is how us musicians make a living and it really does help us to keep going and writing more stuff which hopefully you will enjoy. A big shout out to all the fans who have supported me so far and who continue to do so - you guys rock!

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km-envs3000-19 · 5 years

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you can’t start a fire without a spark...

In the final days of my summer vacation, I found myself sitting in a lawn chair around a bonfire in the backyard of my Nova Scotia home with my dad. We built this fire together, and now we were enjoying sitting in its’ warmth, watching the sparks slowly rise into the sky, before they disappeared in the silhouette of the tall pine trees where we often see bald eagles perched. I’m reminded of the numerous times I’ve found myself sitting around a bonfire with my dad, and how it was him who really sparked my interest in nature and the great outdoors.

Image 1 (above): A bald eagle sitting on top of a tree in my backyard, captured by my dad (Follow him on Instagram: @/airblair72)

I was born in May of 1999, and by summer of that same year my parents were already taking me camping! I don’t know how my dad convinced my mom to take a new-born baby to a provincial park, and to sleep in a tent for a few nights, but he managed to win her over. As I got older, every summer we would go camping. I was, and still am to this day, captivated by everything my dad showed me in nature. He studied horticulture at the University of Guelph and worked at various greenhouses and parks departments over his lifetime, so he has an expansive knowledge of flora species. I remember going to an arboretum near my childhood home and my dad telling me the scientific names of all the trees, and him sharing what makes each distinct. He was a great nature interpreter, because he knew his audience, and was able to explain things in a way that made sense to an 8-year-old (Beck and Cable).The tree that I was infatuated with right away was the gingko biloba, and, to this day, it is my favourite tree. Now the tree itself isn’t something super special, aside from its’ interesting leaves, it looks like any other tree. But to me, it’s the most beautiful tree because it was my dad who showed it to me. So, whenever I see a gingko leaf on the ground, I smile and think of that day.

Image 2 (above): A photo from one of my early camping trips, which my dad captioned “Kayla the Camper”. Couldn’t say it better myself!

I remember going to Killbear Provincial Park up near Parry Sound, Ontario, and exploring the visitor centre. My dad showed me the display case with scat samples inside, and to me, it was the coolest thing! I remember seeing a display with a photo of a baby black bear scaled to normal size. There was a meter stick beside it, so you could see how tall you were in comparison to the young bear. I remember standing next to the bear and smiling while my dad took a photo, but for some reason, it was only the silly picture that was printed (shown below). I remember my dad smiling at me from behind the camera when I did this silly pose.

Image 3 (above): Young me striking a silly pose at Killbear Provincial Park Visitor center. One of my earliest and fondest memories!

I remember my dad taking my younger brother and I camping while my mom was writing her master’s thesis. I was probably 12 or so years old, so my brother was around 10 at the time. On the truck ride up to MacGregor Provincial Park, my dad let my brother and I split a Red Bull energy drink! We were bouncing off the walls by the time we arrived at the campsite. We set up our tent and everything, then to let off some steam, we went for a long bike ride. I remember being the first of the three of us to arrive back to the campsite, and that’s when I saw a massive raccoon on our picnic table, trying to open our bag of marshmallows we’d accidentally left on the table with his little paws. I just stared in awe for a few moments before realizing that was our only bag of marshmallows, so I screamed! The raccoon was startled and scurried up the tallest tree on our campsite, with our marshmallows! By this time my brother and dad had arrived back, finding me distraught and marshmallow-less. We started brainstorming ideas of how to get the bag back and being that we were still hyped up on Red Bull, my brother and I devised a plan: to throw sticks at the raccoon with the hopes he’d drop the bag. Now we tried several times on our own, never being able to launch the stick high enough until my dad took pity on us and threw a stick, aiming it perfectly so that it hit just the bag and not the animal. The bag of marshmallows plummeted to the ground where we retrieved it, with only a few casualties.

“Teaching children about the natural world should be seen as one of the most important events in their lives.” -Thomas Berry

I could tell you hundreds of camping and hiking stories that shaped my interest and love for the outdoors, but then this blog post would be far exceeding the 500-word guideline (as I’ve already done). The common thread through all these stories is my dad, facilitating my learning. And although he is a horticulturist, he led me the what Beck and Cable call “the threshold of my mind”, meaning that he lit the spark, but it was me who put the logs on the fire and made it my own.

This summer, I was living and working in France and had the opportunity to do some tourism in the area. Whenever I visited places surrounded by nature, I thought of my dad. For example, I visited Claude Monet’s Gardens, (which isn’t unedited nature, it is quite manicured, but in that region of France, I’d take what I could get) and all I could think of is how much dad would love this. My mind immediately associates nature with my dad, and that’s probably why I love it so much.

Image 4 (above): Photo of me exploring Claude Monet’s House and Gardens, Summer 2019, captured by my dear friend Louisa.

Today, I don’t camp as much as I’d like. I miss sleeping in a tent and watching the long-legged spiders crawl between the main part of the tent and the fly in the morning. My relationship with nature has become like rekindling a spark with an old friend. I missed learning about nature and spending time outside in my first 2 years of my degree because I was in more general courses like physics and chemistry. My relationship is more of an academic one, being that I study Wildlife Biology. But what remains the same is my curiosity. I know I am interested in nature and wildlife, so learning about it in university is what keeps me going, even in seasons of assignments and midterms. I love to go on hikes and nature walks in South-Western Ontario (my favourite is Mount Nemo), and being outdoors bring the same calm and serenity as it did when I was young, and I look forward to diving into my love for nature for the rest of my life.

Bibliography:

#nature #natureinterpretation #reflection #dad appreciation #camping #Kayla the camper #canada #ontarioparks #childhood memories #oh what a world

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