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spineless-lobster · 5 months

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Things people always did through out history

- Choked on their drink

- Took one extra step up the stairs

- Didn’t want to wake up in the morning

- Got eyelashes in their eyes

- Didn’t want to host a party

- Slept in an awkward position and woke up sore

- Had pins and needles

- Stuttered and fumbled words

- Misspelled words

- Stubbed their toe

- Got food stuck in their teeth

- Tripped over nothing

- Had one nostril stuffed up and the other nostril clear

- Looked for something only to realize it was in their hand

- Thought they didn’t look good in a portrait

- Were uncomfortable in fancy clothes

- Had a favourite song

- Became restless

- Had amazing insults and comebacks

- Said swear words

- Forgot their keys

- Forgot what they were going to say

- Forgot their dreams after they woke up

- Had nightmares

- Fell in love in a dream and woke up disappointed

- Hated specific fashion trends

- Laughed at something funny

- Bit the inside of their mouth

- Bit their tongue

- Blew on the hot food after they put in their mouth

- Had the sun in their eyes

- Sneezed/coughed during a plague even though they were healthy

- Had favourite hobbies

- Remembered something embarrassing they did

- Had a favourite pet

- Had hangnails

- Had fake arguments with themselves

- Walked into a room and forgot what they were going to do

- Had specific phobias

- Loved their families

- Thought their mother’s cooking was the best

- Did stupid shit with their friends

- Ugly cried

- Had a contagious laugh

- Couldn’t fall asleep

- Had a goodnight’s sleep

- Bullied their siblings

- Had an inner voice

- Got a song stuck in their head

- Got too hot

- Got too cold

- Felt the warmth wash over them as they sit by the fire on a cold day

- Had fun parties

- Had their own unique family traditions

- Had a favourite piece of clothing

- Enjoyed time with their family

- Bounced their leg

- Bit their nails

- Had to deal with minor inconveniences

- Enjoyed the sound of rain

- Had a favourite food

- Had allergies

- Relaxed

- Had a favourite colour

- Found a cool rock

#wrote this in my notes app forever ago and I’m thinking about it again #history #sigh… average people in history I love you

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blueskittlesart · 1 month

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"do you hate yaoi" weren't you literally a vlder. I think you have done more than your fair share of service in the yaoi trenches

LITERALLYYYY I WAS NOT CHANTING "KLANCE IS CANON KING" FROM THE TOP ROW OF MY MIDDLE SCHOOL'S BLEACHERS TO BE GETTING THIS KIND OF SHIT. I HAVE SERVED MY TIME. I HAVE DONE MY PART. LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS

#i was not screen recording the elevator scene off my ipod touch netflix app to be getting this shit.#i was not WRITING KLANCE FANFICTION ON AO3 to be getting this shit. REMEMBER YOUR HISTORY #asks

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slythereen · 7 months

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if charles really left for rbr and ferrari tried to paint him as a villain... imagine the mess. the drama. the way red bull would engage with it all, making charles and max the anti-heroes of the grid. they'd milk their reputation era to the fullest, i have to admit we would have peak entertainment on our hands

RED BULL WOULD EAT THAT SHIT UP

like. i think about this daily. red bull is the perfect team to defect to, especially if your defection is going to be controversial as hell regardless of where you go. like sure, that's their biggest rival, that makes it spicy...

but rbr is already the villain on the grid. they are unapologetically messy and ruthless. they cause problems on main and laugh about it. red bull the brand is all about the adrenaline of being the best, so good you're hated for it. red bull racing takes that one step further with their history of having extremely talented and extremely hated drivers. they have a tp like christian who will throw down for them and shade their enemies in the press without a second thought. they let helmut marko just wander around unsupervised. they encourage the second driver drama and rumors, even if they pretend not to. they send their junior academy drivers out into an arena to see who survives the blood bath. i love them but they are fuckin deranged (on purpose) and it works for them bc that's the brand.

so if you're going to "betray" a team when you're charles leclerc and the team is ferrari and you are basically the biggest love story in f1 ever... you should pick the team that will make it such a fucking scene that ppl will only remember it fondly for the entertainment of it all. and the team that won't pussyfoot around and act apologetic when ppl get mad about it (cough, mercedes).

#sorry merc i didnt mean to take shots #but i think merc would send out a notes app apology over the hate they would get for poaching charles #red bull will read the hate tweets and laugh as their next social media video #the SCENES #i am prepared for drama and discord #it would be iconic #it would cement them in history as a MOMENT #charles leclerc #lestappen gate 2023 #paddock politics #*oracles #rbr charles

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jtl-fics · 1 year

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Fluent Freshman - Part 11

FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.

He had not slept very well the night before.

He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).

He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)

He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?

He definitely ate too much turkey.

His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.

His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.

He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-

He clenches his eyes close.

And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.

FF does not handle swerving cars very well.

He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.

The car swerves over the rumble strip.

A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.

“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.

He says both are fine but…

Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.

He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.

“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.

The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.

They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.

The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.

But Nicky had looked really tired.

So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.

Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.

It is not the last time he sees Andrew.

***

Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.

He is wrong.

He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.

He thinks about the car ride.

‘I don’t like swerving cars.’

FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.

Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.

It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.

Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.

Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.

Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.

Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.

“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.

Where was he?

Right.

FF didn’t like swerving cars.

It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.

Still.

“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.

FF should be asleep.

FF is not asleep.

It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.

“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.

It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.

***

FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.

He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.

His flashcards are making so much sense right now.

Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.

“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.

‘It won’t happen again’

FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.

TWO WHOLE FAVORS.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

The answer was that he WASN’T.

Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.

‘It won’t happen again’

There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.

He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.

It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.

He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.

He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.

Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES

Per y’all’s requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#Fluent Freshman AU #FF's logical reasoning has not ever been his strong suit #But it really tanks when he's hitting levels of manic tired #Andrew goes back into the room with the water for him and Neil #Andrew: FF isn't mad about the car thing #Neil: Oh thank god #Neil: Wait did you hear the door just now?#Andrew: No #Neil: Oh okay I'm sure it's fine.#My search history is a nightmare now #Could Neil get a yeast infection? I'm sure the answer is readily available for me #I thought FOOLISHLY #I got like 12 different think pieces on it when I wanted a YES or a NO #Now Amazon wants to sell me creams that I do NOT need #This is what I get for having searched it on my iphone in the google app #I should have waited to get home and search in Firefox #But I (ever the fool) needed my answers now #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG Shitpost #Andreil #FF - Pt. 11

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skellydun · 3 months

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who wants to accompany me to this may 4th wedding that is not star wars themed and where i will know only the bride and get very drunk and then gamble afterwards bc it's at a casino

#i said yeah im bringing a plus one! and guess who does not have that. and bruh the dating apps are so bad 😔#i will put an ad out on Pittsburgh craigslist for a date #its a free stay free drinks free dylan time and if im drunk i will be very affectionate 😜#i wish i was not being serious that gives us some time to prove we won't murder one another AND WE CAN MAKE UP A COMPLETELY RANDOM HISTORY #ooooooo lets lie

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thingsmk1120sayz · 4 months

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#hockey #Syl apps #leafs #Toronto maple leafs #vintage #vintage hockey #history #hockey history #retro hockey #old time hockey #retro

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p4nishers · 10 months

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random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.

#neither does crowley. he should've been cast out the second he put that mask on cause he'd never be able to do what they wanted him to but #aziraphale would never ever say a word about this and crowley didn't even have to ask him. crowley remembers how just for a few moments #aziraphale let himself brush crowley's hair out of his eyes tenderly and yearns for smth he will never have #ugh the longing the yearning. 's too much #this came to me at like 2:33 am as i was tryna fall asleep with my little azicrow fantasies and i had this idea for a painting of this scen #and i sketched it in my notes app then was like fuck it and went to sketch it on paper and now here we are #idk if this is coherent and idk if i care #also this was kinda inspired 'and in the waking world we wait and we want' which is a dreamling fic BUT hob was a plague doctor for a while #there and anyway i think about that fic once a day so i randomly steal ideas from that like bro the historical knowledge that fic has???#INSANE. the history nerd in me goes crazy every time i reread it it's so so so good #anyway i went off track there ill leave whatever this is here #good omens #good omens headcanons #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #azicrow #also i dont claim im a writer in any way shape or form im just slightly insane so ignore how awkward this is

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