#anyways. i will stop talking now since this is probably gonna make ppl mad lmao

[regalia-of-wisdom]

Why Vanitas and Marluxia can come back if they want to and Nomura didn’t retcon.

‪Ok so on twitter I said that I wasn’t gonna write this bc I didn’t wanna be called a KH3 apologist but then my friends were like “you’re a kh3 apologist anyways just do it” so I did it. I love KH and theorizing and analyzing everything and it’s great, but also it’s 2 am, and also Nomura really needs to consider writing these things down somewhere before releasing these games. Also stop recycling villains, dammit.

Sorry that I can’t line break. I’m writing on mobile rn :/ it’s a long post.

‪Ok I’m too lazy to go on the wiki or something and re read these but on the very first KH (or maybe it was in the Secret Ansem Reports in KH2...?? ANYWAYS IN ONE OF THOSE) it is stated that, according to the metaphysics of the Kh universe, a person is made up of a body, a heart‬, ‪and a soul. Bc the main lore of kh doesn’t mention it much not many players seem to remember or know what the “soul” is, especially since it’s clearly not supposed to be the same thing that westerners think of as a soul (that would be a heart in KH-metaphysics)‬.

‪So all we ever get in the series is people losing their hearts, which is synonymous to someone going fucking catatonic and emotionless bc they don’t have a soul (think Kairi in KH1), or just overall disappear bc of darkness related hijinks that cause complications.‬

‪Like, Kairi in KH1 was alive, y’all. She had a breathing pattern and open eyes and everything, she just didn’t have a heart. She’s the only example we have of this (unless you want me to include Aurora in BBS lol), because she’s the only one whose body wouldn’t react to darkness related hijinks (Darkness, as you all know, is quite annoying).‬ This means that, clearly, not having a heart doesn’t mean you’re a corpse. It’s probably more like you going in a coma. Nobodies in Org XIII aren’t walking corpses. They’re just ppl without a soul. (AKA a heart). They’re like, psychopaths? Sam in that one season of Supernatural? you know, just a bunch of ppl that don’t have to deal with pesty issues like guilt or ethics.

(If you’re wondering why Kairi’s catatonic body in KH1 isn’t a Nobody it’s bc Nobodies are dependent on Darkness. Only hearts that have turned to heartless (darkness) create Nobodies, and Nobodies are born with the ability to open dark corridors and control heartless and do whatever they want. Like, they technically have access to both light and dark (and. Void? I guess?) but they’re very obviously leaning more towards the side of darkness. Not that they’re inherently dark creatures, but that they are just yet another life form in KH that owes its existence to Darkness. Kairi, as we all will never forget, has no darkness bothering her and complicating her life. Sora’s the one that had enough darkness and body and soul to spare to create two nobodies out of thin air. What the fuck dude.)

Of course if you played DDD you’d be like “uh, but Xemnas said that Nobodies can grow hearts uhhh” and id be like yeah he did and it makes a lot of sense especially if you had watched/Played Re: Coded and payed attention to the juicy lore bits instead of the main plot like I’ve been saying forever. However unimportant the plot is, Re: Coded’s storyline literally exists to say that anything with a Body and a (what KH calls a) Soul (Like, say, the person made out of data that you’re playing as throughout the game) has the ability to grow a heart and become a person. The entirety of Jiminy’s Journal becomes a world a la Winnie the Pooh, obtaining its own heart. Like, it’s a book and it was made and it’s kind of fake but it developed its own sense of self, and developed a heart. Like, it was literally pointed out to us. Data Sora lives beyond his programming (just like, hey, Tron.) bc he developed a sense of self. A personality. A heart. He even makes his own Keyblade, that’s how much heart he mad. With a lesson like that being thrown at us, why wouldn’t the Organization XIII Nobodies eventually be able to develop their own sense of self? To go beyond what they thought their “original” selves were like, and become able to feel? Not to say they do, mind you. I think a lot of them, or all of them, like Axel in the beginning of Days, were so stuck on what they thought their original self was like that they were just following through the motions and doing what a data program would consider its “programming”. Axel only began to grow a heart once he stopped trying to be Saïx’s friend, and started to go beyond what his memories were telling him he should act like and do what he felt like he needed to act like.

Anyways now at this point you’re probably like, “what does this have to do with Villains in KH always coming back…” and I’m gonna get to that jeez hold on a minute, I just felt like I needed to explain what a heart was for this to be clearer to people. What are the functions of a heart, and what it ultimately serves. I needed to explain this, because losing a Heart does not mean you are dead, losing your Soul does.

The Soul in KH should probably be referred to as Spirit, as I think it reflects the idea better, while keeping basically the same word. (Unfortunately we already have things called Spirits in KH, and they’re adorable darkness creatures, so.) It’s supposed to be the energy that makes something move. It’s the Will to Live. The fact that the soul seems to be synonymous with will is important, bc only people with a “Strong Will”, that become heartless, create Nobodies. The Will in this case is clearly the energy source that provides a body with sustenance. With life. Pinocchio was given a soul by the blue fairy so he could move (the heart, I think, he made himself due to Geppetto's own feelings). The love of children give the toys in Toy Story a will to protect, love, and be played with. Terra’s will was so damn strong, it reanimated his armor. Terra’s Will to live makes his armor move on its own. Look, it’s even called The Lingering Will. What does this mean? That only a body and a heart that has lost its soul, that loses its energy source (its lifestream, I suppose) undeniably dies.

No one, absolutely no one in KH, has lots their soul. Ok, not true, obviously there are some exceptions, particularly regarding the Disney villains, but I’m talking abt the story original characters that Nomura loves to recycle so much. No one has lost it bc pretty much almost no one we fight is ever a complete human being. They’re always missing vital parts of themselves. Ansem the Seeker of Darkness was humanoid Heart walking around. Xemnas and the Organization were a few bodies and souls walking around with maybe a mini heart or two. Vanitas is literally the most incomplete being I can think of. He’s literally half a heart, half a body, and half a soul. The dude is a mess. Master Xehanort… MX is clearly using loopholes and luck to keep himself surviving this long. By now, he’s made a complete and utter mess of Terra, who got literally split into 3 entities for 10 years, while he himself is really only a floating heart and a soul ruining everything. Young Xehanort is a complete being that should probably watch out for decapitation or something, but we can certainly rule out that Riku would kill him because I mean. Y’all have met Riku, right? Also he’s just obviously alive lmao.

The fact that these beings are incomplete is important bc the keyblade, our weapon of choice, is a mysterious artifact that serves very specific functions. It opens and locks anything, specifically the hearts to a world and the pathways that lead to other worlds. It seems to exist to bring balance and stability to… anywhere it’s at, really. It’s a magical item with magical intentions. Now, I’m not gonna sit here and say what I’m about to say as if it’s proven fact that I read in an interview or deduced myself or something, I will admit that my next point is in theoretical territory, but that doesn’t make it any less likely or probable. And that is that the Keyblade can not kill people. That is to say, it can not kill a soul. It can only break apart, or reunite parts of a person, but not destroy them. “Killing” heartless restores them to their original state: a heart, and killing nobodies does the same. Xehanort and Sora stabbed themselves to get their hearts out of their bodies and created heartless and nobodies in the process. It’s like the laws of thermodynamics or something. It seems to me that that is the nature of a keyblade.

So, inclusion, nobody has died in KH. The end. This is unnecessarily long but I get like that sometimes. There is one last point that I have to address but I might do that tomorrow, if anyone gives a shit by then. Good night!

#KH #Kingdom Hearts III #kh3 #kingdom hearts meta analysis #long post #why do i always have something to rant about #all the time #GOD

[survivorsunsetrodeo]

Ep 9 | I’d Rather Make Moves When I Need To - Emma

Okay, I am so sad Brandi is gone, but at the same time, it's not the worst thing for my game.  The good part of it is that we tried to make a move on Emma, we flushed an idol, and we weren't detected. I think this twist is actually super helpful in these moments because if you try something, and it fails, no one knows unless it gets leaked.

Another good thing is that Taylor's closest ally is now gone. I know that Taylor is super close with Ari, which is good, but I also want her to be super close with me. Not just for strategy reasons. She's also super cool and I like talking to her! Apparently she did tell JABARI of all people the vote was on Emma, so no wonder they knew how to idol tonight lmao.

Idk I feel pretty okay about my position in the game playing the middle rn I just need to not spread myself too thin and keep the targets in front of me. 

Soooo Tribal went off without a single hitch. brandi went home despite playing both of her advantages and Jacob wasn’t even near getting voted out. The main clownery of the night happened right after tribal. Ali started going on about how he felt like Brandi didn’t deserve to go home, when there were people currently in the game who didn’t care. If you think she deserved to stay, maybe you should’ve given her your immunity? Or better yet, volunteered to go home? And while we’re on the topic of who cares, haven’t you either flopped in or just not submitted in multiple challenges? Since I was still on the tribal call, I asked him who he was talking about, even though I kind of had a good idea of who it was already. He said Emma. and since Emma wasn’t there, we are aligned, and I know she was going through some things, I felt the need to stick up for her. I found it pretty disrespectful that Ali would say that so it did make me a bit mad. I of course alerted Emma right after it happened because I feel like she deserve to know, and she confronted Ali about it in the call after tribal. I’m sure everyone knows Emma and I are working together now, but I couldn’t let her be dragged through the mud like that. I’m really worried Ali and Taylor, who I know are aligned, will try to target me now. I understand where Ali was coming from though. I’m also a person who is driven by my emotions and I tend to say stuff without thinking about it first.

WELL all things considered that vote went pretty alright! i didn't manage to mist emma into using an idol for jacob so they could get blindsided, but other than that, things worked out pretty much how i hoped. jacob was saved, an idol (and lots of money) was flushed, and i can plausibly tell both sides that i voted with them even tho actually i voted ali for insurance purposes >:~) also we got major info about the location of the other idol when brandi didn't play it and it didn't go back into the shop, i.e. jabari MUST have it because there's no other possible place it could be. i know none of my people have it, and nic was so convinced that me/jacob did that i have to believe none of that group have it either, which leaves little old jabari who's been asking soooo many questions about everyone's funds and where items could possibly be. color me a little shocked but honestly kudos to her! now she gets to stay alive another round since that gun is an idol again.

other shop updates are that taylor's gonna buy something next round and so is dan probably, which will be great for getting them out of other people's hands and knowing for sure where they are. i can't believe i own shares in 2 of the 3 items currently in the game, how cute of me honestly. everyone else is now broke so that's delightful, i prob should've extorted myself for even more money so they'd think i was fully broke too but ah well what can you do.

i am a little worried about how ali's antics last night could potentially reflect back on me this round but i think i've done a pretty good job of covering my tracks there - i talked to both nic and emma immediately after and was like yeah i don't condone that behavior, and josh knows i wanted ali out over jacob because i got him to throw a vote that way with me, and obviously none of taylor/dan/jacob are gonna let me get targeted for that either sooooo i think i'm all good. once again, jabari is a wild card but i think i trust her a little more after my call with her yesterday and i don't think she would have the pull to do anything anyway.

so at last i can have a day of peaceful rest while i await these awful touchy subjects results! me taylor and ali are making a music video so that'll keep me busy for a while. overall feeling very grateful and blessed to not be stressed at this current moment in time!!!

Not mr ali making me regret voting off brandi out should of been ali oh well no point in voting him out now tbh that would be a waste things i think are slowly getting better for me i am talking to jacob and ari more idk how to approach taylor because ik we on different sides but ik we may or may not need eachother soon i feel so bad about brandi she was probably the nicest person here i said this about megs but brandi for second chances.. Yeah i just need to think of something that will seperate my gameplay from josh and nic if im stuck with them eventually that means i could get myself voted off its hard to like make moves rn but i rather make moves when i need to make moves.

also maybe ali should of put his immunity on brandi and not ari >:)

i also hope i break the record for most wasted idols im coming for that record im also so nervous about the future of the game i dont wanna just follow ppl around but like i kinda fucked myself over due to reasons out of my control oop

I just sent my nightly hellos to people and that’s already too much social interaction for me

I’m already fricken paranoid about this round and we haven’t even gotten immunity results ugh. I think it’s because I know I flipped that mastermind comp. like I really could have done much better than I did.

Additionally everyone was so quiet today so I’m just assuming everyone hates me and wants me to die. 

am i playing a good utr game or do people just forget i exist? i've got a lot of good (but conflicting) info from Dan and Taylor and I want to sit down and compare notes with Ari BUT WHERE ARE THEY you can't expect me to remember all this by tomorrow. I feel like I have somewhat of a good relationship with everyone aside from Ali and Jabari and I feel like I've gotten a few info that I find personally relevant moving forward but I need someone to compare this with. I think I'm playing a much more smarter game than before.

[Tumblr Survivor Riau reference] I feel like I was in a position like this before where I had the opportunity to play a good game being in the middle but fucked it up and sent one of my allies home because I was vetoed by my actual alliance [end Tumblr Survivor reference] so I'm doing the same thing this time around but keeping my sources a secret. The only person I am 100% honest is Ari and I hope it's mutual. I obviously can't take Ari with me to FTC but what I need the most are honest opinions and legit information and i think both of us are providing just that with each other.

ali needs to stop saying dumb shit to nic because it ALWAYS gets back to dan and i have to be like "omg lol im sure he didnt mean that" while running to ali and being like "hushhhhhh"

anyway i think the best thing i can do today is sit back and let everyone else tire themselves out scrambling and stressing!! it'll all resolve itself eventually and if it doesnt then oh well

I wasn't going to be making a confessional because I didn't wanna get an OTTN5 edit and also I felt like it was obvious I was going home and I had nothing to really say. There is a tiny bit of hope now, and it lies with Jabari and Dan. If everyone is telling me the truth, I will be staying. And if I do, I'd love to create a 5-person majority alliance with me, Dan, Jabari, Emma, and Josh. It'd honestly be perfect. I really like them all and am comfortable with them all.

If I go home, I wont be mad or anything, I'll just be sad that I didn't really come across the way I had hoped to in this ORG. I feel like a lot of things didn't come across correctly, and a lot of things were just pinned on me that were outside of my control.

Oh well. Let me remain positive. This is me being positive :] (Also I'm forever thankful for having Josh and Emma as allies without them I would've gone crazy by now. Thank you for everything you do.)

Power Rankings: ONE - DAN (+2) Threat: 8 (+2) Trust: 8 (+3) Dan’s at the top of the rankings this week because he’s in the position that I wish I were in. Despite losing Brandi, who was Dan’s #1 idled out by the minority alliance, he still was approached by the minority to vote with them. He knows each plan and he can decide whether he wants to flip or not. He decides who goes home this round. TWO - ARI (-1) Threat: 10 (+1) Trust: 9 (+1) Ari ranks #2 because they know everything that’s going on and they know it first. They’re the first to hear about any messiness or change to a plan. They aren’t included in it necessarily, but they hear about it. Ari’s threat level though is through the roof and hiding behind them as a meat shield is going to be key for my game. They should want to take a shot at Ari before me, and I plan to keep it that way. THREE - TAYLOR (-1) Threat: 7 (NC) Im starting to lose grasp and hold on my power as more of my allies leave. If the minority perception and gameplay wasn’t so awful I would have a lot more control over what goes on this round. Its just bad survivor gameplay to assume someone would never work with you because you voted their allies out. Because what they fail to see is that regardless of if im included in their plans or not, I still find out. I had 3 different people approach me that me name was out as I woke up at 9am this morning. It shows I have control, I just wish they’d include me so I had the power to deal with it rather than relying on others. FOUR - JABARI (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 2 (-2) Jabari is here because she seems to want to give the minority.a chance. I don’t really understand her logic because regardless she’s at the bottom of an alliance. The one round where the majority wanted to count on her to prove she’s with us, she jumps. And she doesn’t even know that she’s completely fucking her game because of it. On top of that every suspects she has an idol. She only ranks 4 because of the information she is receiving, but she’s no threat because her gameplay is poor and everyone believes the rumour of her having an idol. FIVE - JACOB (+1) Threat: 7 (+1) Trust: 8 (NC) Jacob does know what each side is going to do, but unfortunately hes always the last to find out. Im not sure if its because of how late he sleeps in, or if hes everyones last resort but either way it’s not good for his power ranking. Jacob’s smart, hes going to be seen as an immunity threat sooner rather than later. SIX - NIC (+3) Threat: 3 (+1) Trust: 0 (NC) Nic is in 6th because hes the only one trying to steer a vote on the other side. He isn’t doing it successfully, but hes trying. If only he could put as much effort into challenges and he would trying to get people to save him. I dont trust him at all, he threw my name out. He has a little influence over Jabari, but that’s not too big of a success. SEVEN - ALI (-2) 
Threat: 1 (-2) Trust: 9 (-1) Ali unfortunately just doesn’t have the power he needs to get himself out of situations like he is in this round. When the name was between Ali and I it should have easily landed on me. But Ali doesn’t have the social capital that I do, which is why I had multiple people tell that side “lets do Ali over Taylor”. Not to mention Ali made a hugeeee mistake buying the dress for literally no reason. But I trust him I guess? EIGHT - JOSH (NC) Threat: 4 (+2) Trust: 5 (+2) Im starting to see a little fire with josh come out this round and im happy. Hes not willing to do anything about it, but the gears are turning in his head. I think our relationship will be important down the line but as of now he has no power and just follows everything Nic says. NINE - EMMA (NC) Threat: 0 (NC) Trust: 0 (NC) I literally don’t have anything to say about Emma. She doesn’t talk, doesn’t do the challenge, doesn’t care. Not worth my time.

I feel like im not winning this game unless if nic goes and josh goes right after idk im feeling a bit bad how im playing i was planning to go balls to the wall but like i find it really hard to do that when i am a known goat for something i could not control i try hard to change what people to see but idk how to do it anymore im totally not gonna stab josh and nic in the back at this point i just cant write their names down.

This vote is for all of the victims of the people that nic has voted off, nic is going home I know of it. All he's been doing has been working against me and for that ciao Bella 

GOD. What a day. I was pulled back and forth about this vote by both sides and this vote.

Ari/Jacob/Ali/Taylor want me to vote Nic Jabari/Nic/Josh/Emma want me to vote Ali

Neither option is ✨great✨ for my game. But we can’t vote out Jabari for personal reasons so here we are.

I’m worried about idols and such, but at the end of the day, I can’t get too in my head. If the idol comes out as long as they don’t end up voting for me instead of Ali... we’re good!

I’m voting for Nic because I don’t fuck with people who try to make you feel like you’re gonna lose if you don’t roll with them.  Even on OG Pearl he didn’t take a ton of time to get to know me and even now all he wants to do is talk game. In comparison, TSL has known me two rounds and I know so much about her.

Obviously voting out ANOTHER OG Pearl probably isn’t wise, but at the end of the day, New Pearl and OG Beeho seem to be the people I bond with the most and trust the most. And I might be dumb, but I am enjoying their company and would be proud losing to any of them. 

#confessionals #AintNoGloryInTheWest

[zofias]

tod spoliers 

ever since i finished tower of dawn i’ve been wanting to write down my thoughts about it so here goes nothing lmao feel free to ignore this 

ok so tod started off pretty nicely sjm laid out the southern continent very descriptively and i was thoroughly invested bc well i was totally excited to read tod from the start and when i finally got my hands on it i was ready but not ready lol my emotions about it are just all over the place basically 

anyways i really enjoyed the aspects of the southern continent and the history of it the story of the khagans and how they are chosen was interesting the whole khagan gets to choose which child he/she wants as his/her heir was smth i got truly interested in bc its always the first born child who gets to take the crown or w/e so that was a nice change and the siblings that were introduced in tod were all dissimilar they all had such strengths to be heirs since they all specialized/lead different things like hasar had armadas and lead them sartaq had his aerial army kashin was a solider and controlled the armies on land arghun had his network of spies like i enjoyed that they all were individually so powerful i guess like thru each chapter you’d think the khagan would choose a different sibling but i was really happy that sartaq was chosen tho i did kinda feel like he would end up being heir like it became a bit obvious bc he seemed to be the one who took a stand and was like imma leave if you dont help aelin and co. 

ok lets move onto yrene towers at first i didnt know how to feel about her only bc we didnt get into her character as much yet but when she went to see chaol and nesryn for the first time i was literally laughing also idk why but the dynamic between her chaol in that first meeting made just go yup they gonna fall in love im a sucker for haters to lovers trope ok she literally despised him for a good few chapters lol yrene is freaking amazing and so badass her story was smth i really enjoyed i was really interested in her powers and all about the healers she wanted to make a difference and help her ppl and she got her wish in the end what was really cool about her was that she taught young ppl self defense even tho she knew not so much she wanted to give those girls a change to fight back and when the torre was attacked she knew how frightened that made them and made chaol come teach bc he’d be a good distraction from all the horrors i just really loved the way her mind works she was invested in the art of healing so thoroughly and yrene never backed down she was so determined to find answers like i loved her so much she was amazing slm may have faults but the way she writes female characters is really empowering LISTEN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW YRENE PUSHED HASAR INTO THE WATER i legit started laughing so hard like i needed that it was so good yrene is everything if you dont want to read this book bc of chaol read for yrene ok that’s all im going to say yrene was wonderful 

chaol westfall my first thought about him was ‘my baby i hope you heal and get to fight again’ like reading about how much he didnt like it in his chair was really sad i mean i get it chaol was always really determined and he like being ready to fight and then he lost movement in his legs and his world turned upside down like when yrene was healing him and he was feeling all the darkness and remembering what his father did to him when i read that his father literally pushed/threw him out of the house made me tear up chaol hit his head hard and the son of a bitch father didnt even let chaol’s mother come to him and terrin saw and chaol felt guilty for leaving him i just was so hurt reading that and also few guards helped him leave anielle and his damn father banished them to the mountains like i hated chaol’s father and now i just cant the darkness chaol had in him was so much did he hate himself? i think so but he was so angry and things were haunting him it just made my heart hurt i loved tower of dawn bc we got to see everything about chaol what he felt what he realized it was really good throughout he kept thinking about dorian and always was so loyal to him i love it when they reunite i need sjm to have them hug for a good hour or more tbh like its needed what also made my heart shatter was what he felt for aelin in his darkness you can see how he loved her and his hate for her too like i dont know how to explain it it made me feel idk his darkness was terrible and at some parts i had to put the book down to stop feeling too much idk chaol has gone through so much and it was nice to see what he felt he conquered his darkness and realized and accepted himself his journey was rough but he found himself i was so excited to read this book only bc of him he has always been one of my fav book characters and this made me love him so much more 

CHAROENE???? i dont know chaol and yrene’s shipname but imma tell you i love them together their dynamic was wonderful they slowly became friends and trusted one another they had to somewhat quickly open up to one another bc it was the only way chaol was going to heal physically and emotionally i enjoyed seeing how they developed their relationship it was nice chaol deserved to love someone who cared for him so much my favorite part was when they got into a fight and yrene was walking away and chaol wanted to go after so he willed himself to walk ever so slightly and as he was somewhat getting closer to yrene she began teasing him and moving away to make him walk more it was so cute i liked their relationship a lot they both felt equally comfortable to talk to one another and it was like a balance you know what actually my fav part was their day out in the city when they just rode horses and yrene was healing ppl it was sweet and calm and when they went out to eat just the two of them with no agenda they both deserved smth like that i loved it ik most ppl are going to say sjm wanted to just pair everyone off with a love interest but i love these two it was unexpected esp the fact that they are linked to each other and they’re married!! but i love it im a sucker for that bond stuff ok this relationship made me love tod so much 

nesryn faliq when she was first introduced in queen of shadows i was 50/50 on how i felt about her like i liked her but also somewhat didnt but let me tell you tod made me love her chaol was an idiot for using her as he did and she realized it and it seemed she was ok with it but i loved that she got to have her adventure i loved that she got to return to home and see her family she got to explore the lands of antica with sartaq and kadara what made me like her more was that she was didnt let opportunities pass her by she decided to go with sartaq and find her adventure on her own tho i did sort of predict that her and sartaq were going to become a thing after their little flight on kadara in the beginning idk it just seemed like they would be a thing which they did but i liked it she deserved someone like sartaq there was a lot of mutual respect in their relationship which i admired i loved that thru nesryn we got to learn more about antica and the history and everything like its her home and we got to see what she felt and loved about it that was my favorite thing i also loved that she got her own ruk!! AND NESRYN CAN SING that was so amazing like it adds so much more to her i love her 

a few other things one FUCKING MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN I HATE HER like that made me so mad and now i want to know how everyone will react to this and what they will do i hope aelin NO ROWAN RIPS HER TO SHREDS another thing lysandra and falkan being her uncle was amazing i loved that we got to learn somewhat as to how lysandra got her powers butterfly the horse made this book a million times better again yrene pushing hasar into the water was hilarious hasar deserved it lmao i really wished someone did smth like to arghun kadara deserves appreciation for being an awesome ruk when she got trapped in the spiderweb i was a wreck also again MAEVE IS A VALG QUEEN what on earth and duva being possessed by valg and throwing her younger sister off a balcony i cried and duva was pregnant that was just so sad im so happy that yrene saved her life im happy that one else died i mean chaol came close obviously again and yrene and him are now linked which is cool but also like terribly dangerous i want to see what sjm is going to do with that the healers were so cool i loved reading about the torre and the origins and everything i hope we get to see more about them yrene is bringing hundreds of them with her so it could be a possibility there was just so much going on in this book lmao

i know i just hit the surface with a lot of this but i really wanted to get my view on the three mains out chaol yrene and nesryn are amazing and you know what i loved that this book was about them finding out where they fit into this war thats booming chaol was uncertain and felt he had nothing to offer bc he was injured but realized that the chair wasnt limiting him but he himself was nesryn found that she can be her own adventure she found that her home country was her place yrene discovered that her powers could save people who are possessed by the valg and that was epic i loved that this book was more about all these characters discovering who they are rather than anything else i loved it so much i was so excited for it and it didnt disappoint me 

if you read my stupid rambling i am so grateful for you haha thank you if you want to leave your opinion go right ahead whether it agrees with mine or not im up for anything lmao also there are probably so many spelling errors im so sorry lol 

~EDIT~ UM I FORGOT TO ADD ABOUT THE FIREHEART CHAPTER I COULDNT HANDLE IT IT RUINED ME OK IM JUST NOT OK AND THE FACT THAT MAEVE HAS AND MAEVE IS VALG MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE I JUST THIS IS TERRIFYING AELIN BETTER BE OKAY I NEED HER TO BE OKAY!!! 

#text #this has heavy spoilers in it #heads up before u dive in lol or not thats cool #tod spoilers #tower of dawn #chaol westfall #nesryn faliq #yrene towers #THIS IS SO LONG IDK HOW THAT HAPPENED #AGAIN HEAVY SPOILERS

[survivorwakea]

Episode 5: “my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety” - Adam

AHHHHH I DID IT my scumbag ass did the unthinkable and dirtbagged myself to safety, I’m not proud of what I had to do or how I behaved when Taylor got eliminated but in all honesty that was all I knew I could do to get me through.

So okay let me explain my mindset, I was a goner I felt fucked and my back was most certainly against the damn wall. Nobody was answering me and nobody was even trying to talk to me, I knew that Thomas and Chloe are tight as fuck so I needed Tom to think that Taylor was going for Chloe so he would feel that he needed to protect her.  All the red flags were there for Chloe and she knew it was m I could see it in her face that she didn’t believe me at all when I was framing Taylor. She knew that I had made it and I honestly did the dumbest thing ever by snapping and celebrating cause it was live to the cast and being all new to live tribals I wasn’t thinking at all

Okay so after a very explosive tribal council one that I will honestly learn a lot from for future games 😂😂 a swap happens and I was hoping that I could be swapped with like Elmo but I got out with Zack and Ian oh and Chloe... she loves me I swear.

I think I just need to work on just staying calm and cool to try and claw back from that very unneeded aggressiveness just gotta grind this challenge out and get a W

I’m on a tribe with Asya. This is gonna go SO well😒

Im still reeling from that fucking tribal. Im so mad at myself for voting out Taylor and letting Adam fucking manipulate me. Im sick of men, Im sick of their shit. Men have no place in my life right now, theyre all lying cheating fucking scumbags and I would rather cut my tongue out before I ever have to talk to another man again

So, this has been an interesting 24 hours. We swapped tribes again, and as it turns out, the two people who were probably beefing the most at tribal, Adam and Chloe -- they both end up on my tribe. It's a bit frustrating, because I like them both. And if we lose this challenge and have to go to tribal, and they end up opposite each other, I'm worried about picking sides. In fact, I'm worried, period, about this damn tribal. 5 people equals not many places to hide. Yikes.

I’ve been crying about it. I fucking suck, we just established that.

Well it's another loss! I feel like Denise Stapley xD. Anyways, I was put all alone on my new tribe but since I wanted to strangle Adam after what he did it's a good thing, but then I realize poor Chloe is with him I hope he gets it after that last vote. As for this vote, I think of Joey and his third grade picture of a flag that says Kane instead of Milu makes him the easy target. But it is still early, something may change. I'm glad to be back with Asya and both Bodhi and Jared are really cool. I feel I have options.

No. Fuck this. I'm absolutely sick of going to tribal. No. I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty sure I'm cursed right now and all I want to do is sleep. Also Adam is back in my DMs being like lol I still wanna work with u. No thank u to that either. Adam plus tribal makes Chloe not very happy

Well I’m going to another tribal council, I’m getting sick of these but I think if I survive this one their is a possibility merge is next so I think me and tribals will just stay being friends. Poor Chloe and Tommy though they legit have been to every single tribal where I’ve been to every one BUT one.

My plan here is to try and vote Justin with Ian and Zack and hopefully the three of us can Hold the majority this round and take him out so that way moving forward I still slightly gave chloe who I believe is starting to come around again. I think she is finally starting to understand that the only reason I did what I did was being I was getting voted out and desperate times call for desperate measures and I think she gets that.

I’m going to tell her about my plans to vote Justin in a little bit I just hope that she agrees to it calmly and we can just have a simple 4-1 and call it a day.

hey yawlls this round was wild... so basically we swapped AGAIN and I'm with ben, johnny, anabel and lily, so overall a very solid group of people.

I'm rlly happy that I'm on the tribe with Ben because we share a lot of same thoughts about the game and I think that we are somewhat of a duo? I mean there's no bond or agreement between us but still! Really happy to have him here bc I trust him a lot, maybe more than I should.

Then we also have Johnny. He's the obvious threat of the game. He loves challenges and he is pretty darn strong socially too. I was very happy when he approached me with a ride or die deal. It's rlly good for my game at least for now because in order for me to reach far in this game I need to work with a lot of threatening people, if I vote all the out, it won't be a good look for me. Johnny also revealed a lot about who he knows before the game (i kinda knew of a lot of the info though bc i follow a lot of different orgs oops sidfashfd). But yeah! I think this round could start a beautiful partnership between us, I doubt that it will last until the end but it's great that it's a thing at least for now

Next up is Anabel. She is a sweetheart and I see a genuine opportunity to work with her in this game. She's innocent queen so far and I think she'd be loyal to her alliances, however I am also aware that she has crackhead tendencies so I just can't take her loyalty for granted. I rlly like talking to her tho so I think the more I talk to her the less likely it is for her to try to make a move one me? We'll see I guess but I just don't wanna blindly trust her.

Lastly, Lily. Ugh, a busy queen. I am very happy that we won the challenge because if not, there's high chance of her getting voted out of the game. She isn't as connected as the rest of us. The reason why I went so hard for the challenge was because I don't think its smart for my game to vote her out. I REALLY don't see her flipping on me and if she were to do it, I think she'd tell me about it which is the exact reason I want her to be in the game cuz I know I'm gnna need ppl who are v loyal to me. I also have worked a lot on trying to build a bond with her on a gameplay level too and so far so good, I'd say!

I think my position in this tribe is vvvvv good because of the randomly formed group of me Johnny and Anabel (although nobody talks in there, I take it as their sign of I want to work with you). Johnny also has the Ku advantage and while he says that it's nothing, I am not sure if I believe that. I doubt its an idol but I have a feeling that it could be something to help him in the game, yanno? I think that eventually he's gonna tell me though, yanno? Idk this is my random thoughts of the game. It's a blessing to be at confirmed F13 but there's long way to gooooo and I'm kinda here for it.  My predictions for the boots on the other tribes are Joey and Adam but we'll see what happens !

Just won another challenge. Kinda wanted to go to tribal for this one so I could solidify some bonds with ppl but oh well. It could be worse. I could be going home this round lmao

THIS. ROUND. WILL. BE. THE. DEATH. OF. ME! i feel like this round is gonna throw a major wrench in my game for the upcoming days because it's gonna show some people that i'm not as loyal as i say i am. adam and ian think i'm in an alliance with them and that is NOT the case! i feel more loyal to chloe and justin and think i can advantage further in the game with those two. adam and ian think we're all gonna be voting to evict justin, but when adam gets 3 of the votes and winds up going home, i don't think it's gonna be pretty. ian is gonna see that i was never loyal to him but WHATEVER! i had to do what i had to do and i had to lie to them to protect my own self this round! i didn't want them to flip the name around on me, because you never know what could happen in a game like survivor! so yes. me chloe and justin are in a serious alliance and we all plan on evicting adam. adam and ian think i'm in a serious alliance with them and are gonna be evicting justin. so.. this is gonna be another tribal council for the books of celestial i feel like.. so lets get ready and prepare for war! bring it gays.

________________________________________________________________

i honestly can't help but think the worse. yes, i trust chloe and justin 100% but.. justin seems to be stressed since adam and ian wanna vote him out. so justin can easily turn this around on me and tell adam and ian everything if he is LITERALLY worried about leaving. and chloe can just turn around and tell ian and adam what i'm doing if chloe wants me out. so yes. i trust them, but my mind can't stop thinking the worse. if chloe and/ or justin think i'm a threat in this game, they can turn this all around on me and vote me out since i'm doing the most here and lying my ass off to adam and ian and in an alliance chat with them right now. i'm worried, but i'm just gonna pray this all works out.

https://youtu.be/P9aV81hAjZY

https://youtu.be/0hB313P66RE

________________________________________________________________

Adam is voted out 3-2. Thomas is voted out 4-1 at double tribal.

#episode #sailaway

[briteboy]

MORE ASKS I’VE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!

GET ‘EM WHILE THEY’RE HOT

P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCH 

Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him

some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares he’s in jail forever now good riddance ugly

I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"

OMFGFD I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND I’M LAUGHIN

i don’t blame u i bet when it happens i’m gonna be like “u know she ded”

(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)

i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah that’s......nah

it’s ok get it outta ur system i’m here 4 u

the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|

OMG WHA LMAO REALLY that’s wild. i feel like i’m the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all

hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?

HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo i’ve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so there’s one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know that’s the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that you’ve never considered before and i bet you’ll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results. 

i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.

an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.

SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. i’m glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and i’m cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok

everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip

OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and i’ve seen them perform twice actually!! i’m watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry

thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx

i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily

OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you don’t sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, you’re too sweet, thank you ;-; i’m just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW that’s true love. ily ;-; <333

how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(

tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-to’s are @helgatisha‘s poses lol. they’re the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my sims’ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, you’d be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.

Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!

hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and i’m sorry it got some negative attention, i didn’t mean for that to happen by any means) anyway don’t sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didn’t make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. it’s just a hard question y’know. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise it’s not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily

How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it

boop

I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN

WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING

how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?

uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if that’s what you mean aheh. here’s a guide on how to use custom page themes

okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg

TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! it’s not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally

If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.

YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece o’ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if they’re that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.

There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !

I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.

OMFG...that’s how u know the pain is real

but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...that’s real...that’s real my guy

omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333

yaaaa i’ve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe he’ll revisit it again someday and i’ll watch him do it (i’m only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3

I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE

WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho don’t worship false gods

Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?

UM YES LMAO because i didn’t even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao i’m...a noob. i don’t want separate saves anyway because 1) it’s too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and i’d be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah there’s three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santi’s name is literally just Lil Santi)

I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? 😂 Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad

I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens

“okay cool” UM PLEASE that’s a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily

#nonsims #saviorhide #anonymous #THEY ARE DONE #FINALLY #EXCEPT WCIFS LOL DON'T...don't hate me #i try

[rapmonphile]

getting to know me

i was tagged by the incredible and sweet @chim-jiminie-cricket to do this question game! tysm chim, ily!!

your last . . .

1. drink: a s’mores frappuccino from starbucks

2. phone call: i literally never talk on the phone but it was probably with my mom (tbh ......i was probably at the grocery store and called her in a panic bc i couldn’t find smth)

3. text message: i sent my sister a screenshot of that post that’s like “i wanna run away but like in a ghibli movie .....” bc we spent all day yesterday watching ghibli films

4. song you listened to: polarize by twenty one pilots

5. time you cried: um this is embarrassing™ but it was a few days ago bc i’d been having a Bad Week and the last straw was when i went to dairy queen and when they turned over my blizzard n handed it to me (why tf do they do that) it made a goddamn mess and got all over my shirt and seatbelt and i was so mad i started crying jhhgsdghhg

have you ever . . .

6. dated someone twice:  no but i did almost date the same guy like 4 times in high school (it was so needlessly complicated.... i sometimes wonder what would have happened if we’d ever gotten it together and started dating)

7. kissed someone and regretted it: u m i have actually never kissed anyone tbh

8. been cheated on: no

9. lost someone special: yes

10. been depressed: uh yeah i think i might be depressed? but it also might just be my anxiety but idk who knows man

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no, i don’t drink and i’m legit terrified of throwing up

list 3 favorite colors

12-14. mint green, oxblood, and hunter green

in the last year, have you . . .

15. made new friends: yes!! so many, esp on here

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yes :’)

18. found out someone was talking about you: hmm no i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you: lmao i literally hate this question.......,, i mean yeah i guess? i mean nothing dramatic but i think everyone you meet changes you a little

20. found out who your friends are: ohhhh yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: no, ew

random questions

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them, the ones i don’t know are friends of friends or we went to the same high school (i never use fb though so it rly doesn’t matter to me)

23. do you have any pets: yeessss i have a pit bull and she’s the single love of my life

24. do you want to change your name: no i don’t think so, mags is just a nickname but my real name is p unique and even tho i wish people could spell/pronounce it on the first try, at least idk anyone else with my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday: one of my best friends has a bday like 5 days before mine, so we just combined our birthday celebrations and us and a couple more friends went to steak n shake and saw beauty and the beast together

26. what time did you wake up: 9:20 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the gong show, lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: i’m going to a music festival in september and i’m soooOOo excited!! also i can’t wait to go to the beach with my family

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: i am looking at her rn

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i wasn’t so afraid to do new things and i wish i didn’t have so much anxiety about things that literally everyone has to go through (i.e. change)

31. what are you listening to right now: my mom running around putting things into boxes (we’re moving soon)

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: u mean 707′s neighborhood friend tom? ... yes i actually have met someone named tom

33. something that is getting on your nerves: it’s too hot in this room and i am dying

34. most visited website: tumblr or youtube

35-37. ok so i’ve answered these same questions like probably 10 times over the years and these 3 q’s have literally always been missing. whats the deal

38. hair color: rn it’s brown with blonde highlights

39. long or short hair: it’s getting longer

40. do you have a crush on someone: no

41. what do you like about yourself: hfgdhs idk ,,, i think i’m a fun person and i won’t judge people for liking “weird” things bc i have a lot of ... eclectic interests and i hate how it feels to be teased for that

42. piercings: i just have one in each ear.... i want a cartilage piercing but i’m scared of pain and also it bugs me that you can’t remove it for like 6 months

43. blood type: that’s a good question, i should know that but i don’t

44. nickname: mags, except ppl in real life don’t actually call me that lmao

45. relationship status: single and tbh i’m comfortable with it, i tried dating recently and tbh it is so fucking exhausting

46. zodiac: i am literally a textbook aries

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favorite tv show: the office, bbc sherlock, gravity falls, or anything on the food network/hgtv

49. tattoos: none, i’m scared of pain and commitment

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: never had one, thank god

52. piercing: um,,,.,, repeat question

53. favorite sport: tbh i hate sports but i am completely obsessed with the olympics, particularly swimming, diving, figure skating, and women’s gymnastics (seriously.... idk if any of you followed my main during the olympics last year but it was p much all i blogged about)

55. favorite vacation: disney world (i go every year and i went this january but i’m missing it so bad rn)

56. favorite pair of trainers: i have a pair of light gray and light blue nikes that i looooove but i’ve had them for like 3 years and they’re getting worn out

57. eating: nothing, but i did have an eggo waffle this morning

58. drinking: ice water

59. i’m about to: finish packing up my bedroom :(

61. waiting for: my mom to take a shower so we can go grab lunch (there’s literally no food in our house since we’re abt to move)

62. want: the ac to kick on so i can stop dying (it’s already so hot today)

63. get married: hhdgsd idk, ,,, probably (i always say how much i hate romantic shit but tbh i can’t wait to find someone who makes me rethink all the cynical stuff i’ve ever said about love)

64. career: don’t even ask i’m gonna have an anxiety attack (i’m in college and haven’t declared a major yet can u tell)

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: hugs, kissing grosses me out a bit tbh

66. lips or eyes: both (but if i had to pick i’d say eyes i think)

67. shorter or taller: don’t rly care but i guess i’d pick taller

68. older or younger: older

70. nice arms or nice stomach: both (or either)

71. sensitive or loud: these aren’t mutually exclusive but i’d say sensitive

72. hook up or relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

have you ever . . .

74. kissed a stranger: no

75. drank hard liquor: no

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, my glasses are 100% always on my face

77. turned someone down: yes

78. sex on the first date: mm no

79. broken someone’s heart: yes :/

80. had your heart broken: yes ://

81. been arrested: lmao NO

82. cried when someone died: yes

83. fallen for a friend: yes lmao

do you believe in . . .

84. yourself: i try to !!!!!!

85. miracles: yes

86. love at first sight: no dude... that’s honestly such a dumb notion in my eyes

87. santa claus: um tbh i wish?? like every time i watch rise of the guardians i’m like “that is 1000% what santa would look like” and then i wish he was real

88. kiss on the first date: i wouldn’t want to, just bc i’ve never kissed anyone and i want to get to really know someone first bc i’m so nervous when it comes to things like that

89. angels: no, like i believe that loved ones who’ve passed on can watch over you but i think that’s different from angels

other

90. best friend’s name:  eva and kendall

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: i have millions....,,,,, the secret world of arrietty, monsters university, tangled, big hero 6, how to train your dragon, power rangers, ghostbusters (2016), the incredibles, teenage mutant ninja turtles 2, ratatouille, jersey boys, zootopia .... i’m forgetting a million but yeah. i love animated films, esp. disney/pixar

tagging

i’m literally not tagging 20 people but if i didn’t tag u and you wanna do this, pls pls go ahead and tag me in it!! also i’m soooo sry if i tag you and you’ve already done it/been tagged. anyway i tag: @bbysucculents, @yxonkook, @yoobin-nie, @missmarymoo, @escapaertist, and literally anyone else who wants to do this!! tag me in your answers <3

#ty again chim this was fun and ur answers were cute #I was tagged

[mogamifucker666]

 cabana au plot thing maybe. i can’t write so.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

premise: Mogami is an assassin/hitman, working at a tropical resort for cover. his mom is sick. he works with SG guy (Sargent) as assassins but also at the same tropical resort place. Matsuo is a rich gold digger, killed his last husband but was judged innocent in the trial. now he’s looking for thrills, doesn’t desire more money, just trying to have a good time. which for him means.. causing choas.

(this post is so long and dumb and gay i am so sorry for anyone on tumblr mobile RIP)

(edit: it’s even longer now and i tried to fix the typos from before. i hate how invested i am in this AU and yet i cannot stop.)

Matsuo comes to this resort regularly and the staff are Wary and particular about the staff they (somewhat) sacrifice to Matsuo. but Matsuo has MAD CA$H so they assign him like.. a personal attendant of sorts.

Mogami was hired between the last visit and this one, has been working there a lil while (some months but less than a year), Sargent is part of the resort’s management and works to cover for Mogam to give him alibis while he’s off killing ppl Just In Case

Mogami probably has an alias that he uses for like everything and that’s “Kai” bc he works by the ocean lmao. 

I guess Mogami works around the pool and beach? waiter/bartender type thing. trained as a lifeguard so he does that too.

Anyhow he gets assigned to Matsuo, is aware that Matsuo’s was on trial for the murder of his husband but wasn’t convicted, but doesn’t really know what to expect. definitely not the chaotic twinky gremlin that Matsuo is in this AU.

Possible first interaction: Mogami is just trying to serve some drinks  and Matsuo intercepts him and he's like "can i help you.....uhm........?" (can't figure out Matsuo's gender) 

Matsuo, "that would be sir, thank you. but in a different context you can call me baby." Mogam is internally like o no-- Matsuo, not missing a beat, "and i can call you daddy." and Mogami is like. CRIngiNG he's like this is it, this is the curse brought on by killing people, the bad luck has finally caught up with me-- etc

Matsuo has a thing about paying ppl with Mogami’s job 4 sex/seducing them

Mogam is not about it

Matsuo won’t ease up

Anyway. things r tense and assassin stuff is more difficult bc of dealing with being Matsuo’s attendant. but there r days when Mogam isn’t working, where he has leave to “see his mom” which are often used for assassin stuff but. sometimes seeing mom. sometimes both.

Mogam still maintains his cool and indifference to Matsuo’s attempted advances

it’d be ridiculous if Matsuo very obviously fakes drowning. standing in shallow water (literally standing) and just flinging water around and looking like a fool, calling out “help me lifeguard! im Drowning! oh the humanity! i am struggling to breathe oh lifeguard please help me!” mostly bothering the other people around so Mogami feels compelled to usher him away but Mogami does Not lol and Matsuo just looks like a desperate fool.

maybe he actually pretends to drown

“i think i need cpr”

“i’ll just call an ambulance for you”

“come ON” as Mogami gets up and Leaves

Matsuo: >;;;;^(  Mogami: B^|

Matsuo prObably goes for some other poolboys in the meantime. partly for attention, partly because it’s what he does.

Matsuo insists that Mogami has a secret (and he does) but Mogam denies that he has any secret of interest to Matsuo

somehow Matsuo finds out about his mom tho and Mogam is like “ah yes. my dark secret. i am indeed secretly tender at heart and love my mother very much. u got me.” but like. no it’s that he’s killing people. But there is some bonding and more respect from Matsuo. some but not much.

the Advances continue tho Matsuo is like still like  “if u need money then sleep with me??”. Mogam is like. No.

also, at some point, Mogami to Matsuo “has anything bad happened to you at all in your life?” (bad things have happened but it’s been a While and Matsuo is hella detached from that)

Matsuo is legit like. lowkey a psychopath probably and breaks into Mogam’s (place of residence) (apartment proabably?) and Mogam gets back from a nearby “job” (shady bloody job) and Matsuo sees him (Matsuo wasn’t hiding lol) and Mogam Very Clearly bloody (under the shirt he was wear and since removed bc he’s home now) and is internally like “i’m not prepared to deal with this. this is over my head, the disappearance would go noticed, and would obviously connect to me... i’ll call Sargent. i probably have to kill him, such a hassle.. could be the end of things. what i thoughtless greedy awful--”

i drew it:

(evil gremlin pixie gets gay while dead-inside man contemplates the logistics of murder and disposing the body)

he glances down and Matsuo is like... sparkly heart emojis looking at the blood on Mogami and. Mogam is CONFUSED hE’s like “What.. are you doing looking like that?????”

(the blood drawn on his face/hand doesn’t make sense now that ive thought about it but. i can’t be bothered now.)

(my fave Mogami reaction to Matsuo is “bitch what the fuck” honestly) 

Matsuo is rlly hot about the blood i but Mogam is just tired of this he’s like. resigned and kind of given up and legit just “I’m going to take a shower”

“can i come with u? ::::3c”

“you can do whatever you want” (figures Matsuo will follow him but doesn’t care if Matsuo leaves and tells the police he’s just tired rn)

Matsuo does follow him (he’s got his Eyes on the Prize)(the “prize” has gotten more and more interesting and enticing as time went by and now he is enthralled. Matsuo is chaotic and freaky and i love him. kinky(TM))

Mogam is trying to ignore Matsuo in the shower but eventually just Gives Up and like yeah wow sex huh

it is. a lot more good than Mogam anticipated and Matsuo is very :^)))))) after (satisfied and “i told u so” and still sneaky but also. more solidly attached now)(Mogam is endearingly passionate  and it’s hot i guess idk don’t look at me)

Matsuo is probably the only (alive) person besides Sargent who knows he’s killing people so like. that relieves tension and allows for more intimacy ok

(im gay don’t talk to me)

at some point after that Matsuo is like “you like killing people”

“no, it’s just a job”

except he does and something happening close to the time of the convo is like ‘wait yes i do enjoy it..’

At Some Point Matsuo gets a wound over his eye (so the scar matches canon lol), it’s somehow a result of hanging around Mogami

thanks @ Nick for this idea: maybe Matsuo gets kidnapped and Mogam has to go save him. Jokes on Mogami tho Matsuo knows how to use a gun and can handle i knife decently. basically Matsuo kills at least Some of his abductors, gets his face slashed, and escapes by the time Mogami arrives to save him.

probably a sobering experience for Matsuo like ‘o right actions have consequences that affect me. wow. strange.’

this isn’t a deterrent for him tho, he’s still having fun, but he’s gonna be less flippant and careless from then on.

idK eventually an agreement of commitment happens and like. Mogam quits and the resort and moved back with Matsuo to the US i guess and now he doesn’t have to worry about money for his mom’s care bc Matsuo is stacked.

so Matsuo has married twice and the latest one is dead but the other one (his first marriage) is to Toichiro.

Toichiro’s wife divorced him, he’s rich and is some important af person in a corporation idk, he and Matsuo r together for a while and then married briefly and then Matsuo divorces him and gets hella money (awful. cruel. rude boy. evil. i love it) 

(their relationship was like. probably kind of sad bc Toichiro is pretending he’s not torn up abt his ex-wife and maybe Matsuo like?? wasn’t just being a gold digger and actually cared about him, but was constantly eclipsed by the ex-wife n got tired of it and once they were married he was pretty soon like “Okay. That’s That. Bye.” dark. idk Matsuo is an energetic and wild person and Toichiro is cold and dead inside and Matsuo probably brought a lot of like.. joy to his life, and he took that for granted n Matsuo left. bye bish.)(lmao i h8 angst i’m sad now)

the current dynamic between him and Toichiro is like.. whenever they see each other they just drag the shit out of each other and r snide and that’s their point of camaraderie but Matsuo rlly doesn’t care abt him and always rubs Toichiro’s unsatisified life in his face.

but Matsuo is with Mogami now and they’re back in the US (some big city, probably Los Angeles or NYC.. or both. Matsuo has an unnecessary excess of wealth he can have a house on both coasts) but they end up talking with Toichiro and so Toichiro and Matsuo r doing their nasty banter thing and Toichiro starts talking dirty and about stuff he and Matsuo did and Matsuo is kind of pissed and internally like ‘wow in front of my boyfriend?? i know i have no class either but xcuse u bitch :^)’ but. also talks abt the stuff he’s been doing with Mogami. meanwhile Mogami is just there SEETHING quietly, tensely but politely smiling, thinking 'the nerve of this awful man with ugly eyebrows. abhorrent.' Matsuo is keeping an eye on him as the tension is rising and eventually.. 'wow my murder bf is about to fight my ex and while that's Hot that's not a good idea---' so he he cuts the conversation off like "well, i know who i've chosen--" wraps arm around Mogami's waist "--have a good life pining for your ex-wife" and like. leaves. bye.

or “have fun trying to fill the void left my your ex-wife for as long as you live”

Matsuo’s second marriage is probably to Ishiguro and purely for the money. but Ishiguro is gross and old and Matsuo was tired of waiting for him to die and took matters into his own hands. and ended up with a lot of money and no jail time.

idk what else. vague ideas kind of like. Mogam has a day of and Sargent goes to visit momgami in the hospital as a way to cover for Mogami going to do a hit. or doing a hit for Mogam so he can visit his mom. tru friends. 

the beginning aesthetic being like. tacky tropical beach and it changing into like. lavish but sleek spy-aesthetic by the end is funny to me. tropical pattern prints and speedos and petty drama and humar to dark clothes and a scar  and like. weirdly devoted and sexy dynamic. silly to serious. hilariously bad rom com to..  rich murder gays (NBC Hannibal stole my aesthetic)

im starting to fall asleep but ya this au was originally 100% shitpost and yet here. i am. thinking about it seriously.

#entry #idea post #god awful but ineeded to write it down so i don't forgET anything relevant for draws #when will i finish writing my actual serious thoughts abt either of them/their relationship... smh

[carverhawke]

hey so i was thinking about getting the me:a and ive been a huge fan of ME games in the past but i heard rly bad things about it?? like a lot of ppl are unhappy w it? and id get the origin access thing but i cant since im on a mac and i was just wondering what you thought abt it & if its worth getting the game now

tbh I love it so far! I definitely think it’s worth it. the gameplay is really fun, the characters are all great so far, and the story is really dragging me in! I’ll admit I’ve stopped myself from going to far in early access, bc I don’t wanna have to worry about missing things from being on a time limit, but I’ve seen videos on what the full trial has to offer and I’ve played a bit of the multiplayer. based on what I’ve seen so far I would definitely 100% recommend the game, especially if you’re a fan of the original trilogy

(I’m gonna talk abt some stuff, no spoilers tho!)

probably the biggest concern you’ve been seeing is facial animations? imo they’re really not bad, they can definitely be kinda weird at times and they eyes/eyebrows don’t always look Quite right but honestly I really like all the little oddities! I already made a post abt how I think it’s really endearing and makes everyone cuter lmao. I’ve also seen a few other animation glitches but they really aren’t that big a deal lmao. tbh animations have never been bioware’s strong point anyway so I’m not entirely sure what people are so mad about. another major complaint I’ve seen is the character creator, which is definitely limited, especially compared to the other games. I wouldn’t say it was dogshit tho lmao, like it was harder for me to create a ryder I liked with it but I just had to experiment a little and I figured it out lmao. I also really like the new tattoo options, and I’m not sure why people are so salty over the hair??? like it MOVES NOW!!!!! there are some really nice options! ppl are complaining there’s no long hair but tbh it’s long enough for this. I’m not entirely sure what they expect, like ass length hair? like this is bioware can u imagine the clipping we’d get with that hair long lmao (I’m sorry this is becoming me like. getting super salty over the fandom but I’m a salty bitch lmao)

I’m on mobile so I can’t stick any of this under a readmore so before this gets too long I’ll talk real quick abt how good it is! the combat is super fun, it definitely feels more fast paced but still like mass effect! I’m still trying to get used to some of the new mechanics tho so I’m pretty bad at it lmao, it probably doesn’t help that I’m experimenting with a new class either!! the characters are all great so far, I was really pleasantly surprised by dad as cora (not that I was expecting them to be bad or anything, they were both a lot warmer than trailers had made them seem, and cora was funny too). Liam I had very high expectations for and he met every single one and more, he was an absolute delight to be around. I didn’t personally meet the tempest crew or other squadmates yet (like I said I don’t wanna go too far yet) but from what Ive seen in videos they all seem fantastic: vetra is cool, peebee seems super fun, gil is ADORABLE (I wanna romance him as Scott now!!), suvi is a sweetheart. Kallo is a huge nerd and apparently loves to talk shit and gossip and I love him so far! I don’t wanna compare him to joker, that kind of feels like doing him a disservice, but I wanna say he’s definitely a worthy successor to him. I’m so excited to spend more time with them, and also to actually see jaal lmao. Voice acting for everyone is phenomenal, especially the Ryder siblings. I’ve played a bit as both of them and they definitely feel like two different, if similar, people. they even had different dialogue options and lines! I really love how they both seem to have their own distinct personalities (not to say you can’t shape them yourself as well, but they feel different from each other when you play as them). The story is really good so far, I’m super interested in all the different threads they’re stringing for us — there are a lot!!! — and I’m so excited to see what’s gonna happen next with the nexus, the golden worlds, companions, all of it! music is really good. it actually felt a lot like dragon age inquisition to me, especially in the cc. the game looks amazing too! like even besides the animations, which as I said I kind of liked lmao, the graphics are really great. environments and space and the sky all look beautiful, and the characters look amazing. armor is sick too — I’m a fuckin mess for cool armor lmao.

ok that’s kind of all I can think of rn and like I said I don’t want this getting too long without a readmore, so I’m gonna leave it at that!! I hope I kind of helped u make up your mind or at least eased some of ur worries about the game? like not to be rude but the bioware fandom has always been kind of a negative Mess so I wouldn’t worry too much about what they have to say lmao. but yeah I love the game so far! It definitely has its little quirks and it isn’t perfect but the problems are honestly negligible in the grand scheme of things, the game is totally worth it and I’m super excited to see how it all plays out!

if u (or anyone else) wants to ask me anything else about this feel free to hmu! I love talking about mass effect lmao

#clood sucks #mea #mea spoilers #there really aren't any spoilers but just in case? #case I mention characters a little #also it's long lmao #(ok to rb and shit)

[tayegi]

I feel like all those misogyny anons are young girls or if not they shouldn't even blame everything on the OC????? Literally. All. Of. Them. Are. Doing . The. Same. Thing. It's a whole messy relationship. Don't blame one character when the others are doing the exact same shit!!!!

All the beautiful messages I received are under the cut ^^

But I just really REALLY wanted to thank everyone for sending me such wonderful asks. Right when I was about to lose faith in humanity, you guys came out of nowhere to restore my faith. I really REALLY appreciate it. I was srsly even considering deleting Equilibrium because I refuse to let this disgusting misogyny spread, but now I realize those misogynists are thankfully just the vocal minority. 

I really REALLY appreciate this, guys. You always know what to say to make me feel better when I’m at the cusp of giving up. I LOVE YOU

Anonymous said:BRUUHHHH shit just got real in equilibrium. Seeing the development of the story, I knew it was gonna come crashing down soon but damn. This story is so interesting and I really enjoy reading stories with very flawed characters. JK was really pissing me off like he's so damn controlling and it's amazing how people don't see equal fault in all three of them and point fingers at the girl???? Like wtf what story are y'all reading cause last time I checked they were all using each other lmao

Anonymous said:wtf??? how is oc manipulative and a bitch??? can't they that jk is the bitch here?? like he's so selfish and conniving and omg I'm just so angry after that update. not at you because damn girl you can write but like ahhh why wont he just let her touch jm like I just wanna Hug her tbh. I hope she finds the right man. u go girl!!Anonymous said:Omg I come back to this nonsense? I hope you don't let this affect you too much. I don't get why women are always blamed. If anything as I was reading I felt bad for the OC the most honestly. Shes insecure because she got bullied when she was younger and then this angel Jimin comes and he's nice to her and she gets attached. Jungkook takes advantage of the situation so it works out in his favor. For 6 months he was the only one who knew what was really going on.

Anonymous said:Wow I was so surprised to see that people were angry with the OC She is so pitiful and desperate Plus Jungkook's actions are so sick he knows she doesn't love him but he knows she won't leave him because of Jimin so even in this situation he is still using Jimin to manipulate the OC They are all so fucked up

Anonymous said:Really hope all the shitty misogyny doesn't put you off after how hard you've worked! please remember theres shitloads of us who really do appreciate your work and as much as people don't openly voice it, we're still all here in the background, internally voicing our opposition to the minority that obviously don't see the wealth in your work x so fuck them and do your shit because you want to! it's annoying that some aren't understanding it in the way they should but just know the rest of us dox

Anonymous said:I think the problem is not that the OC is women. The problem is that the readers are narrow-minded fans that blindly favor there idols.. U kno, when the bias also clearly did smth wrong but they only blame the other side... Tsk tsk. But the thing that I'm worried is that the story probably won't have an happy ending :c I know it's not ok but I want to OC has a new start with Jungkook (I am sorry Jimin!) or she would be sick of this relationship& too hurt& move out and be a roommate with Tae

Anonymous said:Hey, please don't regret the story cause of some of these mysogynistic idiots. I mean ofc if it makes you uncomfortable to write it then do whats best for you. But i love this story because of the complex nature of this messed up relationship, and your amazing writing. I love how you present selfishness in all three of them. The good and bad in them. You write in shades of grey instead of black and white and its truly amazing. Anyway i hope i didnt say something wrong i just love your work.

Anonymous said:Thank you for standing up in what you believe in. It's one thing for males to be misogynists (which is still HORRIBLY WRONG, fuck them) but for females to behave like one too? It's just disappointing. Us women get enough shit everyday as it is. We should be empowering each other instead of looking at each other as threats BLEEGH! Anyway I loved the latest chapter of equilibrium and pretty much everything you've written.... 🤗

aloneandlovingit said:I appreciate you so much for always calling out these misogynistic people for their shit. Whenever something goes wrong in a relationship it's always the woman who is blamed and the man is made to be a victim even if they're both in the wrong. The worst part is that these anons are probably young girls who were brought up to think this way and this just perpetuates the culture of women being against women and it needs to stop! Anyway I loved the new chapter as always and I love you 😘

Anonymous said:Why and how are people talking shit about the oc???? Wtf.. Equilibrium's so well thought and well structured, people in love do stupid shit, get over it. Jk is being fucking selfish and emotionally using them both, and if people wanna blame someone, blame the right guy. I really rope that the oc get out of this mess, cause girl u don't deserve all this bull shit. and fuck all this misogynist people +

Anonymous said:I'm so shook. I'm leaving this ask to let you know that the majority of the female population all over the world is still NOT on the mysogynous side! Girls, read carefully before you speak! Lu has written everything not only beautifully/intriguingly but also in a crystal clear manner (come on, you don't actually need to interpret things, make a list of who's done what and you'll see that each character is just as manipulative and opportunistic as the other)! Cheers Lu, this is a masterpiece.

Anonymous said:I can't believe people are saying the OC is a bitch?? what about jungkook who proposed this relationship for "fun" and had motives??? and jimin who only likes jungkook and shuts the OC out??? i've been wanting to rip jimin's throat out since he entered the fic

Anonymous said:I could be missing something, but I don't understand the outrage towards the OC when she is just desperate to hold on to the first person who treated her like a real person. That is why I think she is 'attached' to Jimin. The same goes for Jungkook being 'in love' with the OC since she is the first person to ask him a 'meaningful' question that wasn't superficial (coffee shop convo). My heart hurts for the OC because she has to fight so hard for Jimin's attention when she deserves better.

Anonymous said:I seriously can't see how these people are so blind. It was obvious that they were all using each other before and in the latest update Jungkook basically said he never cared about Jimin. How did they miss that? And Jimin rejected the OC until Jungkook proposed they all date. Wow. P.S. I had a feeling Jungkook would be the first one to break. Love your writing and don't let these people ruin Equilibrium for you.

Anonymous said:I almost feel bad for the anons who feel the need to antagonize the OC so much... But it actually fucking hurts. To think that every time that both men and women are in the wrong the woman is the one punished 110% of the time... Ugh I'm so sorry that this had to open our eyes to all the brainwashed idiots out there still perpetuating such hard-lined misogyny. But keep in mind that there are still lots of people who don't stand for this shit and never will, stay strong and love you!!!! 💖💖💖

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is one of my favs and it so upsetting to see people turn the story into something else because they are too blind to see their precious oppas do anything wrong.

Anonymous said:Are people serious? Its so obvious that jungkook and jimin are doing the exact same thing as the oc. Jungkook is only in the relationship for the oc. Jimin is only in it for jungkook. How can you blame the oc for being manipulative but not fault them

Anonymous said:but notice how no one is going "aw poor jimin jungkook tried to abandon him thank god the oc is caring and didn't run away with him" 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 ppl are unbelievable. I'm so sorry this is the reaction ch 10 is receiving lu. pls don't let it discourage you. use your voice and the fact that a lot of ppl read the fic to EDUCATE AND TEACH YOUNG WOMEN. stopping now won't accomplish anything. I think you have enough influence with your writing to get something across to these young women and help them

Anonymous said:I want to tell you that equilibrium is honestly so beautiful & your writing is really amazing. I've only recently discovered you but I am upset I didn't find you before! As for the main character & the boys: HELLO THEY ALL PLAYED EACH OTHER FOR THEIR OWN REASONS!!!! Like why is everyone mad at the OC when each character was in the relationship just to be with the one they liked? Anyways the last part with Jungkook & the OC in the hallway is so nicely written! I hope you have a nice day! 💙😄

Anonymous said:I can't believe the amount of ppl mad at the oc rn when jungkook was literally doing the same thing??? so was jimin???? they were ALL playing each other, dont ppl understand that?! that's the whole point of this fic, y/n is in love with jimin, jimin is in love with jungkook, jungkook is in love with y/n. It's all just one big love triangle and they're all lying to each other by being in this relationship. I'm sorry ppl aren't getting that, but pls don't let that discourage you from writing it :(

Anonymous said:*reads the asks saying rude things about the Equilibrium OC* :/ *sighs* Why are people only focusing on the OC??? Jungkook is just as bad, and really no one wants to be with everyone in that relationship. :/ The OC wants Jimin, Jimin wants Jungkook, Jungkook wants to OC. Putting all the blame on the OC is just stupid. :/ I'm sorry you're having to deal with those anons. I wasn't around for what you were saying about In Bloom, but I can see how similar stuff to this would put you off of it. :/

Anonymous said:reads other anon messages - sighs - guys... look below the surface before you immediately judge the narrator. JK doesn't deserve sympathy--he's using Jimin to get to Y/N, Jimin is using Y/N to get to JK, and Y/N is using JK to get to Jimin. No one's innocent of this. In addition, the way he just roped Y/N into giving him exclusivity wasn't exactly fair or unproblematic... So they're all guilty, and the drama's so gooooodddd

Anonymous said:Thank you for the update. I haven't read it yet but in really excited about it!!! I'm really sorry about all of these random rude misogynist ppl who just came out of the blue tho.

#equilibrium #beautiful ppl #save for later #so i can read and reread #my heart is warmed by the beautiful ppl in the world #FUCK MISOGYNY #it feels so good to know that you guys won't stand for it either <3 #the world does have hope #anon #lu answers

[theday]

Those feelings are perfectly valid. It doesn't make you petty just because you still feel this way while some have moved on; people feel and deal with things differently. I don't know how you feel about these feelings of yours, but try not to beat yourself about it. Hopefully he'll apologize if he gets the chance. If he doesn't, I hope these feelings leave eventually.

For the Jae situation (if you’re talking about the song) I think it’s unfortunate that the song he recommended has such problematic lyrics. My stomach was twisting the whole time I was reading them and to know that he thought it was appropriate to recommend it didn’t make that it any better. I try my best not to blindly love bands or idols but a part of me thought that he was going to apologize. It’s been almost a week but I don’t think I’ve seen anything yet. This has me feeling torn at this (1)

point. This might be biased but I suggest having a bit of faith in him perhaps? Based on his personality (from what we can see anyway) I feel like he wouldn’t leave a topic like this untouched on purpose, especially if he knew that my days were upset about it. I understand that it can be unsettling to have one of your favorite people do something that rubs you the wrong way without any closure to disappate those negative feelings. Even if you do continue to feel badly towards him, know that (2)

hi anon!! how are you i didnt really expect anyone to talk about it bc i have v few day6 mutuals but thank you for bringing it up!!! i have talked about this before in an ask i answered on my main blog (thought it doesnt relate to the topic at all so ill just copy and paste what i said) under cut bc this will get long!

as of november 6:

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics… i SURE hope not… idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

 jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm 

okay so that ^ was like 4 days ago and it was answering a question on pet peeves so it didnt really have to do much with jae at all sorry for making u read that the second last paragraph is probably the most relevant whoops anyway

ive already said this but thank you so much for coming to my ask to talk (? though its mostly to reassure) about this with me because on twitter where i follow more mydays, i barely saw anyone talking about it and as i mentioned above it really bothered me :-/ everyone has different ways of responding to it so ill let that slide because there may be people who still want to enjoy day6′s music without having to deal with anythng “problematic” idk i cant speak for those fans who keep quiet about it but this isnt about other mydays its about jae and 

the fact that he’s been active on twitter since the release of the november magazine but has yet to speak about it also bothers me and its not smth i can just brush aside because like you said the lyrics are fucking terrible and has upset at least 2 people??? (which is completely understandable, the lyrics are trash along with the artist but i doubt jae knows about the shit the artist has done) from what i managed to catch on twitter idk about others and i posted a message on fans here because he has said that they do check fans so im hoping he ends up seeing it soon assuming he doesnt know about how the song distresses some mydays (i think most people have stopped @ing him about it at this point) and ill try to keep tweeting him??

i check the jae_day6 tweets and there are barely any tweets about the whole thing which is sad :-( so im just giving him as you said, the benefit of doubt and i believe that once jae finds out he’ll speak about it because jae is still the kind, encouraging person to mydays and i dont want something like this to change my opinion of him although it did eventually since i cant look jae (and pictures of him) the same way :-/ it probably has to do with the fact that i get influenced really easily by what others think?? and this time bc of what i think i ended up reacting negatively/not at all to jae things and i mean it sucks??? but i know that its okay to feel the way i do since we havent gotten any sort of explanation whatsoever 

anon i hope youre doing much better and even if you harbour any negative feelings towards jae too i want you to know that it’s really alright to feel that way like you said!!!! it makes me a feel a bit better that i have done my part to try and get jae to notice the mistake he’s made and i just hope he’ll talk about it eventually because he has so many opportunities to apologize/discuss the matter (vlive, twitter, fans) theres also music access which i will try and tune in to next monday so i can leave a comment (id feel bad for bernard though since hes the main dj)

once again thank you so much for being kind enough to reassure me and im glad it gave you a chance to talk about this too because something like this isnt something i can forget easily and i hope you have a good day because youre really great!!!!! i love you and its amazing that you believe in jae idk i think youre amazing!!!! 

#ive said what i wanted to say on just about everywhere so there wasnt much to discuss but im still open to talk about this if you want to!! #my askbox is always open for discussions i love talking about things tbh but im always afraid my opinions will offend someone and ill get i #thanks for being so nice about this anon!!! #the original intent of the ask has helped me realize that im not really but more disappointed??? #idk anyway thank u so much again!! #Anonymous #asks #idk why the tags fuckef up #but i wanted to say #i'm not really petty #i did the speech commas thing idk my punctuation but thanks xkit #wait not xkit #it's tumblr xkit would never do me dirty #oh ya if u don't have a fans acc let me know and i'll just screenshot/copy and paste

[ts-indonesia]

Episode 7: “back on my bullshit™️” - Anabel

After the birthday murder, the cast merged into the Berbagi Bir merge tribe! In a fierce flag-making immunity challenge, Jess got the job done, and earned herself immunity for the round.

As most merge votes are... this round was mess. SO, Matt’s name was one of the earliest thrown out, as one of the quieter members of the tribe, but Matt’s strong social game earlier in the season meant he had allies (like Anabel & Olivia) who did not wanna see that happen.

Potential Vote #2 was Stoner, spearheaded by Anabel, which was leaked (Host Note: I forget who specifically leaked this... lets go with Chris O because one of the confessionals said so) somewhat shooting that plan down.

On an all-returnee call, the vote was settled on Lorelei, as the least connected and least threatening newbie... but... then people did some things. So.. Owen/Stoner decided that returnee kumbaya was no more, and plotted to secretly flip and send out Matt... But that plan relied on the nuCahaya newbie pair sticking to the plan. In fact Trent/Anabel, motivated by Trent’s closeness to Jess/nuCahaya and Anabel’s strong formed relationship with Matt, decided to in fact vote out Lorelei, turning on the newbies, and lying to Owen/Stoner that they were also flipping on NuCahaya.

At tribal, Anabel played her idol, assuming since she just turned on Chris O, he would leak that she had it, and five members of the tribe were blindsided by Lorelei’s exit, with Owen/Stoner vulnerable due to their failed flip...

OLIVIA

Well I wasted my idol and voted out my best friend

Just vote me out now

STONER

https://youtu.be/8YsRquIDBLc

LEIGH

So the vote went exaclty how Trent and Anabel thought it would lmao. I've played too many of these games with aggressive players, it makes me paranoid. Merge time now!

OWEN

I MADE MERGE AGAIN YEEHAW!!!!! The power that that has... I'm quaking honestly. I was completely surprised the other tribe voted Isaac, but in a way I'm relieved because it means I'm not the only one who turned on old Cahaya. I think those tribal lines are going to fade FAST going into this merge... The only worry I have is if they did Isaac because they thought he flipped on Foxx and they're on a witch hunt, but honestly, it's probably just that he was inactive?? Idk. Anabel must've done something to get back into their good graces? We'll see. I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH!! I get to reunite with Olivia and Jess which I LOVE. I just need to explain myself to them about Foxx and they can explain about Isaac and I'm praying it's okay. I really want to stay loyal to Olivia and Matt as long as I can... I also though want to make a group of me/Chris O/Leigh/Lorelei maybe because I truly like all of them and I feel like I have a great 1 on 1 bond with all three. I know that Chris/Leigh at least talk, but I don't have a read on how close Lorelei is with them? We'll see. And it would be nice to pull Jess in to the Matt/Olivia stuff. My problem now is that I'm spreading myself WAY too thin. I have some sort of trust built or at least like cordial conversation built with everyone left except for Michael. It's going to get real fucking messy for me from here on out and it's going to bite me in the ass sooner rather than later because there's a huge chance that, unless something shuffles around, I get caught between two sides and I can't let that expose me so soon. But for now I'm just gonna be social and relax and enjoy talking to these people, because I do really like them a lot.

LORELEI

I made it to merge 😭😭😭 I'm so happy and so proud of myself. I'm so thankful for my alliance with Trent, Chris o, leigh, Anabel and myself. I couldn't have made it here without them. And Owen too, I wouldn't have made it this far if he, Leigh and Chris hadn't managed to flip the vote and vote Foxx (legend) out. I hope I can make it even further!

MICHAEL

One world confessional https://youtu.be/KCz4Lma5f0c

Pre Merge confessional https://youtu.be/vbcNhFsJUVg

OLIVIA

Me: votes out Isaac Me: I wanna talk to ISAAC HE GETS ME Me: it was for the best Me: BRING ME FRIEND

Mmmmmmok so I voted out Isaac, very heartbreaking. I spent all day not doing my homework also. 

But now we’ve merged. NuCahaya seems strong. Anabel is excited to work with us and we had a cute ten min call before the tribal and Trent sent a very nice message after, I appreciated that he acknowledged that was hard for me to do. 

I wasted my idol, but I think I managed to convince everyone it was a one round only idol lmao. If no one was convinced then oh well. It was so weird like an anxiety monster just took over my body and was like “everyone hates you and if you don’t play your idol you’re OUT” So that’s cute

But anyways. Owen, Matt and I had a very joyous and cute reunion which is interesting since I sorta set owen up as this big ol mastermind with NuCahaya 👀 I painted him as a target for the Foxx vote but he said it was because foxx was throwing around stoner’s name. Stoner was barely around and just went for it apparently. So those three definitely still wanna do like an all veterans thing? (Owen, stoner, Matt). Aaaaand like Jess, Michael, Trent, and Anabel all think we’re a fivesome against Owen and his minions which isn’t exactly the case but may be. Sooooooooooo. Yeah. The fivesome is outnumbered, the veterans aren’t. However Michael and Jess are 100% pro NuCahaya, which I am too. But like I love my dudes too. This vote is gonna change everything because it’s all peaches and cream rn lol. And I’m sorta smack in the middle it feels like with my Owen and Matt alliance which no one knows about and the NuCahaya which I don’t think the veterans would suspect. But I think voting out Isaac safely secured Anabel and Trent with us. I just can’t voice my opinion too much on this vote and I’ve gotta just calm down and fade into the background. Hopefully for now I can keep the delicate balance and we can get Leigh out who isn’t really playing. Jess I told about my idol and she wasn’t too mad at me stupidly playing it I hope lmao. We’re trying to figure out this new idol system together. 

I’m sorry Isaac, ily. I hope I can make cutting out my heart in this game worth it.

TRENT

So last night's vote was wild. The awesome foursome wanted to vote out isaac because Anabel is in it. But we needed to do it in a way that Olivia is on board, so we can use her as a number in the future. So we spent hours discussing the pros and cons, which was pointless because jess and michael were going to vote it anyway. Finally at like 8:45 Olivia agrees to vote Isaac. THEN i get a message from leigh and chris who are the infiltrators. They are freaking out because jess and michael won't confirm to vote isaac. They want to flip the vote on Olivia. Which makes no sense but they wanted to do a 3-3-1 tie and then get her out in the tie. Again makes no sense. I finally calm them down and tell them just to trust me and anabel will be safe. And of course at tribal, olivia plays her idol and i freak out thinking we got play, but thank goodness we didnt. Thank goodness we didn't listen to chris or leigh as well because that would have been super awkward to explain.    Now we are at merge, and the Charlie alliance is back in business. Somehow we all survived. Even though we were split down the middle with anabel and I being in the minority of the other tribe. Both of our tribes got returnees out. No matter which way you look at it, im at a 6-5 disadvantage. 6 returnees 5 newbies, 6 new obor 5 new cahaya. I just need to survive this next vote and the I think i'll be golden for a little while. I'm hearing some whispering of targeting matt next, and that would be perfect because it gets me to 5-5.

OWEN

Holy shit I just found an idol thank GOD!!!! I’m gonna fuck some shit up with this !!! YEEEEEESSSSS. I’ve officially found one three seasons in a row hehe :’) the grind nvr stops am I right Idk who to tell tho I feel like I need to say something to someone but... Idk. Might be nice to keep to myself

OLIVIA

Real depressed I didn’t win the challenge, spent so long hand drawing it and put a lot of love into it bc I truly love all my tribemates but I know Jess did the same and hers looks cool too. Cannnnot believe I got second again I’ve literally gotten second like every single flag challenge I’ve done 🙄

I had fun drawing today at least, that was a nice change of pace and I’m personally happy with how it turned out so that’s good haha and I realized I’m not half bad I should draw more. I’m always so negative about what I do and think everything looks terrible so I never end up doing anything 

I have no idea about this next vote, glad my bff won the challenge. I gotta lay low and make sure it ain’t me. 4 gays + finance manager Trent want Owen or one of his “squad” out. I’m going on call in my owen and Matt alliance tomorrow. Those two and stoner I’m sure wanna realign the veterans and get out a newbie. Maybe I can keep up the façade and direct both into getting out either Lorelei, Leigh, or Chris o (even tho, since getting to know them they’re all so sweet and cool but SOMEONE has to go) 

So hopefully that happens. I’ll see what Owen and Matt say tomorrow. As for Chris stoner, who knows 🤷‍♀️

OWEN

i was telling my roommates that I was stressed about this game bc i feel close to too many people and i said im just gonna randomize and the top five ppl on the list ill screw over..... guess whose name was on top? MATT. :o which is a little fitting bc i think it might come down to matt vs leigh tonight. idk it's been SO FUCKING quiet today it's really scaring me. i talked to jess and brought up that i thought matt or leigh will be the targets. she's so freaking sketchy to talk to bc she doesnt want to commit to ANYTHING. like...girl, u got the immunity??? be brave??? speak ur mind???????????????????? but she seemed to be tossing around the idea of doing matt... here's my deal. i love olivia and i even like matt a lot, and I like the torchsnuffers. but rn it seems weaker to move forward with them??? bc i love my bonds with chris o and lorelei.... and stoner of course. basically im in a middle of two sides and the most unanimous I can get rn, the fucking better!1!11 but I dont want to hurt olivia rn... :( GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! this is just all a tangled mess and I dont want to get caught in it too deep but i already AM!!!! if we were zoobeenee this never wouldve happened.... will it be leigh? will it be matt? will it be me?????? not sure. the only thing i know is after tribal tonight im gettin fuckin drunk!

JESS

I GOT IMMUNITY WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU JUDGES <3

MATT

bITCHES Be CONSPIRING AGAINSt ME!!

ANABEL

https://youtu.be/nYZxeLs1hY0

well. maybe the bitches. don’t. wanna. vote. stoner.

OWEN

Duck I am so stressed now The six returnees all called and decided on Lorelei. I’m ducking s reading I wish they decided anabel or something Idk . God dang it..... I don’t want to lose lorelei when she’s been so nice to me and I already saved her on the foxx vote. So I could do two things.... I could vote for Matt with stoner and chris/Leigh/Lorelei and hope that Trent or anabel do too. Then Lorelei is safe but I burn a bridge with olivia and jess which would suck and then I’m giving anabel and Trent a lot of power. I could give Lorelei my idol and tell her to play it on herself and then vote for her to try to save face with the vets but then like what if she tells them I gave it to her or they think I told her to use it.... and also matt would still be gone :( so Idk ughhh and then if that’s the case how to I explain to chris and Leigh why I voted her ???? I want stoner and I to maybe split our vote and then see what Trent an anabel do... idk I can’t decide but omg Trent is calling me. I could also just vote Lorelei and ride it iur

OLIVIA

Truly sorry for my lack of confessionals! Busy day. So I’m pretty confident it’s lorelei but for all we know it could be me! I’m finding myself not as stressed out because I don’t think I’ll EVER be as stressed out as I was with the Isaac vote so even if it’s me, not saying I’ll not be sad, but I’m more at peace. I’ve been on so many calls today jfc. Jess really finessed the hell outta this one with her insanely cool trick to get anabel and Trent to vote Lorelei that was awesome. If I have time later tonight I’ll explain more of what went down today later but until then? Sayonara!

The Isaac vote like changed me as a player it’s wild. I’ve never voted out my closest friend in a game and now I have and like lived through it like I’m?? Ok? Like it was so horrible but it was like digging a bullet out of my heart. It sounds so weird but like it opened up my ability to play without being like insane stressball and hopefully I can carry this through the game. It probably doesn’t make sense but yeah 😂

JESS

I'm tired of sitting around letting games slip through my fingers. This round I have immunity so why not crack a bit? I want that OTT baby! This round is going to be complicated. I don't want Matt to go whatsoever. What a plot twist from the begging of the season? I see no benefit of taking out someone who I believe will be in my corner in this game for a bit? I've compromised enough the last round with taking out Isaac for Trent/Anabel... THIS ROUND IS FOR ME! So I decided to be a rat ass bitch and tell Matt his name was going around. Will this fuck me over next round? Absolutely. Do I care? A lot. Will I regret taking out someone who I see has no benefit to me? NOPE. The way Lorelei and Chris O went about this round rubbed me the wrong way. Chris let me know Matt's name was going around but refused to give me ANY of the details. That just proves to me he does not trust me one bit. Lorelei straight up lied to me so homegirl NEEDS TO GO. Anabel had some genius plan on getting Stoner out (YASSSSSSS). But she didn't listen to me... and told Chris O aka: basically telling Stoner. It obviously got back to Stoner which caused chaos. However, it proved to me that sooo many people are close and exposed relationships. I was able to convince Anabel/Trent to do Lorelei which I hope will work? I don't know. All I know if Lorelei dies in this game I'll be happy. There's only room for one girl from Montréal here :$

OWEN

I have to just make a decision and move forward. After talking to Trent, I think I've decided to do Matt tonight. I feel confident that Trent could be an ally for me. Stoner, Chris O, and Lorelei are all really solid alliances to me right now as well, more than I feel with Michael. I know I'm burning Jess and Olivia and I don't really know what to say to them after. I'm feeling guilty as fuck right now, I wish I didnt put myself in this position. But it's a game, and for me right now, Lorelei is someone I want to go really far with. If they had picked Anabel maybe it would be a different story... Idk. This could still blow up in my face and send me out and honestly??? I'm so exhausted from the last 10 hours i prob wouldnt mind mmmmm ive finally fucking snappt and it's time to follow thru the crazy xo

OLIVIA

Listen, could I technically go to tribal? Yeah but after the damage my anxiety did to me at the last one imma just sit back and let the texts roll in while I do tranquility dot to do puzzles

#whenyourfiresout

[survivemiddleearth]

Episode #3: “Nabbed by a man in a party city cow suit” -Nick

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I JUST GOT NABBED BY A MAN IN A FUCKING PARTY CITY COW SUIT, IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF IN THIS STUPID FARMERS FEILD

Remember when i said i felt secure in this game? Yeah me neither, and now with a tribe swap (:

I’m so sad???? I don’t even know the names of my old tribe to mourn them. AHHHH I DONT WANNA SWAP YET cri cri. Well fresh start cept Stephan is here so semi fresh. Hopefully he won’t screw me over jajdjdw

a tribe swap huh... I'm really curious to see how the Idolhunt works, and if the clue for a 2nd Idol on 1 tribe (?!?!?!) is actually transferrable.

Its a tribe swap and yay! I’m with the two people I’ve actually talked strategy with, Dennis and Sammy. However, I am with Vi, who is not my favourite person, i’ll try for the clean slate and all that is my philosophy but she has a history of being a snake, if an ineffective, goat-esque snake.

BLESS THE RAINS Ok I'm actually sad about Jayden - was a cool guy but I couldn't try and dictate another vote so soon and he WAS on the outer :/ BUT NOW I GET TO BE CHAOTIC YEE HA! im throwing my old tribe under the bus so fast cuz im messy and i want to be that bitch (patent pending) johnny will assume i'll take his side probs but like, I might, but I'm not gonna give up this opportunity to play middleman my inner kass is gleaming caw-caw am coming!

Yay! I love my new tribe. I have had good experiences with all these players, so I feel that my options are available and I can go to whoever I want for an alliance.

I HAVE FOUND. EVERY SINGLE. FUCKING. IDOL LOCATION. ALL THREE. AND THEY'RE ALL. FOUND. IM GONNA. SCREAM. IM. MAD.

Ok lost post but I haven’t confessed since the swap so: ok so the tribe swap has me shook. Thank Zeus that I’m still with Jay and Ford. Zach and JG are also on this tribe but I don’t think they like me. I messaged Zach and he responded with ‘👀’ which was funny asf but also. how do I respond to that. Drew and nick both had conversations with me so I don’t feel completely rejected. Jay and I have been sharing idol hunt stories and we’re pretty sure that all idols have been found so I’m scared to idol hunt, all I’ll find is disadvantages and I don’t want that. The word search comp was a lot of fun ?? I didn’t know any of the words so it was really panicky but I think I did okay. I really hope that we win this comp because. I hate tribal?? I’ve only lived 2 tribals ever because I’m a dumbass so.

This tribe is...interesting. Zach and Dylan R, despite being my sons, are a lil snakey. I see their rat boy sides, respectfully. Dylan just never lets me live tbh. But Zach and I were talking about the tribe and he mentioned wanting to blindside Drew at some point, and I was like Yeah Makes Sense and he goes "so if you could convince people to do that it would be great!" BINCH. I'm not your minion yet, don't give me tasks. So I have to keep him around to throw under the bus at some point lol. I think I'll try to get Bodhi out first since everyone else on the tribe I think I can work with.

Ayyy. Lets go guys. I found an idol. The first time I ever found one in a survivor game. Lets see how long I can hold onto it, before i either get blindsided or waste it out of paranoia. Imagine how nutty it would be if I had 2 idols by now. DARN YOU STEPHEN!!!

I’d love to get crow on board to work with my old tribe mates, none of the others really talk to me much. Thats not to say if a better offer comes up I wont take it, I’m considering tryig a less loyal game plan.

So far Dennis is my closest ally in this game, but I’ve been working hard to make sure I dont stand out as a player and an alliance maker. I also have talked to Crow a lot and really like him, would love to work with him. Dennis wants to work with Roxy and Sammy which I am cautious about, but now isn’t the time to play the game too hard. I’ll work with them for now while getting closer to others and then make my move, theres a lot of players in this group I have to make sure I’m not left behind or blindsided.

Nick sweetie I like you but 2 hours omg im beyond shook. I don’t want him going so that’s chill but I would be lying if I said I didn’t laugh omg. I’m.... kinda glad we lost? In a way?? The other tribe has a 4-3-1 where as our tribe is 3-3-2 so. In a way this is better?? I’ll probably be eating these words when I get evicted tomorrow but oh well. 

Drew is really nice and we have great conversations !! But I know his history so of course I’m wary talking with him. He’s good at grilling for info while also being guarded, so talking with him about the vote worries me. If I say the wrong thing I feel like he could turn the votes against me. I thought this vote would be easy but Drew telling me that him and the red team aren’t close worries me because I know that they’re in an alliance. Drew is still really cool & nice but paranoia is a bitch !!!

I did the math, because I’m a nerd, and Zach needed a score of 16 minutes in order to tie. Honestly not the dudes fault ,,, we woulda lost anyway even if he did well. Just thought I’d say that 

I'm really glad our tribe won. We ended up bonding a lot over a long discussion in the tribe chat, and I want to build with that with the people who I had most in common with, like sammy. I feel I need to socialize more because no one really approached me in a bit. I know we aren't a tribal but I feel like I should be approached anyway.

FINALLY I'm headed to tribal! I really need to go to at least one tribal pre-merge just so I can see where the heads are at and how people act under pressure. So far I've learned that Zach is the most Rat Boy person I've ever met. ZACH, I TOLD YOU AFTER KALOKAIRI THAT YOU NEED TO LEARN TO TONE IT DOWN. TONE IT DOWN. Dylan R too, to be honest. They're both just WAY TOO STRATEGIC. Like learn some subtlety, kiddos. Dylan R literally said 'we really need to get out Bodhi' to me and Zach asked 'Why doesn't Bodhi like you?' unprompted and is also roasting Drew every .4 seconds. I mean yes it's refreshing since I'm so used to playing with crusted over community people like.....myself. But also, I'm tired. I don't want to play the game as a rat herder, trying to stop Rat Zach and Rat Drew from biting each other's heads off. (If you're reading this post-season, just know I view you all as very strong players, and I bestow the title of rat lovingly, as I myself am 100% a rat). On the plus side, there are LOTS of juicy meat shields in this game. As annoying as it's going to be to deal with the inevitable Zach vs. Drew ego war, at least I know their conflict is going to keep me out of the spotlight hopefully long enough to make late merge. I need to stay as UTR as possible as long as possible, and this cast might make that easy for me. I'm just thankful I have JG. He's one of my best friends, and I know we can trust each other going forward.

Oh god I went so hard my last game and now this game i’ve Idol searched once and confessed once lmao. Ummm...not a very interesting game so far. No one’s flipped. No ine’s Been shady. Very clean cut. I’m playing with some Kalokairi peeps so that’s fun and fresh, but other than that there hasn’t been much. That’s probably why I haven’t confessed at all 😂.

I thought that this vote was gonna be easy but talk of an idol has sent people into a frenzy. Personally, if an idol gets played it won’t be the end of the world for me so I’m not... too scared ? Inb4 I get blindsided but it should be either bodhi or nick going.

Welp, the vote has flipped to Nick. Usually that would make me scramble to get it back where I want it, but this game I'm not strongarming any players, and I'm going with the "anyone but me" strategy. So whatever! If everyone can unanimously vote against an inactive player, that works.

This might be me being cocky. But I can not believe that 12 minutes was actually the fastest time. I am happy that I am not going to Tribal council. And I'd like to keep it that way as long as possible, but still... 12 minutes? Mhm.. Maybe the other tribe threw on purpose to get certain players out... who knows!

Welp I really wanted Nick gone because of that score, sorry bud but it is about tribe strength but everyone was saying let's vote Bodhi. Being/feeling on the bottom even though I have some relationships with  people like Dylan, Drew, and Jay , I still did not feel secure in my position in this game. During the afternoon, I realized it was extremely stupid to target and get rid of Bodhi who would most likely be loyal to me and have my back over some of these other folks. So I talked to Jay and planted the seeds of actually voting out Nick instead of Bodhi. I went to Bodhi saying that we could potentially flip this and told him who needed to talk and and who to target to save himself which was obviously Nick. I wanted Nick out the moment those results came out and if he goes home, I will take claim to this for pulling this off, this will potentially really keep Bodhi as a number for myself and not rock too many boats.

wow shook i didn’t do the worst at the word search....why do all of my friends gotta be in the game w me. Potentially I would like to work with Johnny and Roxy even tho I know a lot of times ppl target roxy for being crazy and I don’t know who i can trust yet. I like crow as well. My predictions for tonight is that bodhi might go home because he really wasn’t active on our old tribe but only time will tellllll

#outwitoutplayoutrunthewitchking

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

you know what who cares about clarity? have an incoherent ramble about pb, how she treats lemonhope, a couple parts about lemongrab, and proof that phlannel boxingday is the best Dad™ in the entirety of adventure time below the cut

I would die for phlannel boxingday he's so good for lh he is the Best father in the entire series and I almost cRied about it

there's a lot of shitty dads in advtime and a lot of dads that could do better but aren't like malevolent, and there's also phlannel, the best damn guy with the kindest fucking heart in the entire show, and he kills giant sentient birds for a living

Listen h

Wait am I about to cry rant about the one off character again

Yeah here goes he was so good he. I mean. I mean. He's so patient and understanding and gentle and lh nEEDS that h he was fucking broken up in his home and then pb spirited him away and put the fate of his entire family on his shoulders and treated him like he was Very Smart And The Chosen One But Would You Just Fucking TRY. and phlannel grabs him away and goes look. you're a good kid. and maybe you can save your family. but you can't beat yourself up over it, you can't put all that weight on your shoulders. you are able to go save them if you want but you are one of many champions in this world, and someone else will do it if you can't. and until then I'm going to keep you fed and clothed and be a person you can come to with anything, because I have no ulterior motives. I really literally don't. 

and every t ime he talks to him he talks low and gentle, he points things out like how he IS a smart kid he REALLY is he just learns differently, he doesn't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do like every other adult figure in his life has up to this point. he knows he has nightmares so obviously lh feels safe enough w him to talk to him about things like that, or he just pays attention and like. knows he keeps waking up screaming and instead of going "ha that's fine," he goes "kids shouldn't be waking up screaming so I'm going to keep an eye on it," he picks up on lh's concerns and gently tells him it isn't his fault when he drops things,

Like ok here's my thing. I know first impression pb is rly nice, yadda yadda I wrote a whole thing (didn’t post it tho lmao) abt how the Ugly Candy People seem to be the worse off ones and that might be her doing if it isn't just coincidence, and I don't feel like getting into that. but . here's my thing abt the lemonhope two parter and pb

Like first off I'm still pissed she put him in a Special School like. how transparent can you be. she's playing favorites and she's raising him for a specific purpose of being a champion. but it's not like, extracurricular champion school, bc she's clearly trying to also teach finn geometry. or maybe she's just. 

Idk but it seems really fucjibg phony. like. just set him up in a school where he can socialize and learn in an environment structured for teaching and socializing. I know lemon ppl don't Get Along With Others but like. singling him out is just. mmmmm don't like that

Anyways so that's one thing but like. she seems to be such! a nice and understanding lady right? she's soft and sweet and she's dangerous when she needs to be, but like. I know we all know she's kind of a dick and she monitors everyone in her kingdom closely to the point of creepiness, etc etc we know. but like. u know what really gets me in the lh two parter is just. how ......inconsiderate? she is maybe? 

like . yeah she wants to fix what went wrong (lg’s cannibalism and like tyranny etc). she can't or won't do it herself ('can't' meaning she's legally not allowed to, but what the fuck is lg gonna do to her? she can destroy him with a fucking flick of her wrist and literally the only person gaining anything from him locking up his kingdom on every legal level possible is himself if that, and we all know his earldom is quite literally overpopulated.So she has nothing but principle stopping her from barging in and demanding he stop, to protect all the other citizens he's hurting. He'll do anything she asks. like maybe once it got bad he wouldn't, maybe he started to realize she never cared about him and she never would, but honestly even if he did start to realize that, if she fucking walked in the door and said she needs to talk he'd be putty in her fingers. he'd listen and do everything she asks of him, and none of the lemon people are gonna fuvkinh stop her. they either know to fear her from lg or stories or experience, or they just know she's their boss's boss, so to speak, and would deliver her right to lg or just let her pass. Right? unless lg has them on orders to like. kill on sight or something. but those poor kids aren't any match for pb and pb's no idiot, she'd take backup or she'd straight up murder them. there's literally no reason for her to not go. she's gonna respect politics now? NOW? She's a fucjibg monolith and she does whatever the fuck she wants no matter what kingdom she's walking into, and now that her son is hurting every single person he's ever loved, NOW she decides she Can't Just Interfere? Fuck you) but uh since she can't/won't do it herself she needs lh to. ok. fine. But like. over and over she repeatedly treats him poorly, like...... like yeah ok she isn't Being Mean but. idk. you take a scared little kid out of his abusive family, then you repeatedly make him see what his siblings are going through now that he's gone, and tell him over and over that it's up to him to make them stop being hurt?

The lemon people are all just babies ? like ok they're not BABIES they're their own ppl but . but they're. so young of COURSE they believe what pb said and what lg2 said, that lh needs to come back for them; HE got away, so so can they, and he's gonna be the one to do it. They're poetic and tragic like the fire kingdom, but grittier and less pretty and performative. of course they'd latch onto the only hero they were given.

but like. to lh it was probably more like. this lady came and took me away from my family so they'd stop hurting me, but she left all my siblings behind, and now she's telling me I have to be the one to save them? lmao no you do it yourself. you did it once you can do it again.

so uh

so lh's adult interaction so far seems to have been like. 

wait was he one of the ones they made originally or is he a second gen lemon person/ someone lg2 made with lollipops like in that one fanfic 

assuming he was in the FIRST BATCH because I'm mean I guess, his adult interaction has been two people who adore me with all their hearts but can't figure out how to feed me-> probably some affection in here somewhere bc he had to get that harp from someplace -> guy who fucking electrocutes us and other guy who's too scared to stop him -> oh shit what the fuck -> lady who got me out of that situation but won't save my siblings and keeps pretending I'm someone I'm not

u know what, I think that's her whole problem

she made lg to be her heir, that's good, but he didn't act how she expected and she couldn't figure out how to support him, so she sent him away (much as I like to say she did it bc like. neddy was antisocial and scared of ppl too and he was ok if he was kept alone so maybe that was all lg wanted too,,,,, like there was still no reason to throw him at the very fucking edge of ooo aight. get him a house in the grasslands or something.). she tried to help him, realized she was making it worse and actually hurting him, so she tried to help again and it worked, bc all lg wanted was to be loved and not to be told over and over (symbolically) that he was REALLY unwanted, but still begrudgingly needed bc he's the only heir to the throne. so getting a friend who wouldn't hate him for who he was was all he wanted. so she did good and kinda let it be for a while. 

but he also really wanted his mothers love, and he tried to act like her so she'd appreciate him or even notice him. so he makes kids for her, he realizes this makes him and his brother happy (HAPPY), and can't stop doing it because he's alone with his brother and their newborn children and no one's telling them to stop. she fixes it, she lets it be.

He's still unwanted. she still hates him. she hates ppl who don't act how she wants them to. she HATES the duke of nuts whose only crime is eating her pudding (possible she hates him bc he's just So Good And Kind, too, and it's fishy), she clearly doesn't treat all her citizens equally (do you see how trashed some of the backstreets are? I mean maybe people are just smashing them faster than she can fix them, but like. I don't know. I don't feel good about it.), she won't fucking talk to the literal heir to her throne (i don’t thiiink he’s been replaced yet?) except when he makes a mess and needs someone to help him fix it. and then she does it as minimally as possible. she sends fnj to fix it or smth. she just. Really wants nothing to do with her failures I guess. maybe that's it. he woke up screaming and needing things other candy people don't need, and she called him her own personal failing. maybe she feels like she let him down by not making him so he could be happy in her kingdom. maybe she blames herself but instead of working with him and supporting him, she gives him anything he asks for and otherwise avoids contact with him like the plague. 

Anyways so what she wanted was a cute, competent candy person to take her throne right? and she goes to his kingdom and she wanders around and like. no one here is her kind of normal. they're all ugly and deformed and squawky and everything's yellow. and to lg and lg everything is BEAUTIFUL, those are their beloved babies that they risked their lives to have, but she doesn't know that, she just knows that MAN those lgs are weird, and when I try to help them, they get mad and lash out at me.

by her first failed experiment she means the first one that made her feel like she was capable of making mistakes that ruin lives. like even if we call that one comic canon, with that Sweet Pink Goop she made before lg, that goop didn’t seem sentient, let alone capable of feeling the consequences of being alive and different from the other candy people

she looks around and she tries to figure out what she doesn't understand. right? in too old. like maybe getting away from them and looking around their house will give her insight into why her heir won't just act like her, won't just be normal and quiet and do what she expects people to do, why she can't figure out how to help him without making him angry (and scared and hurt), figure out what it is HE expects, because he's a person too.

And she finds someone who ISN'T deformed or ugly or weird, she finds someone who honestly wouldn't be out of place (looks wise) in her candy kingdom. and he's bemoaning his unfair treatment and he's dressed in rags and he's alone and he's young and he's talented. 

And he's what she meant to make in the first place. Someone soft and cute, but with whatever traits she'd been looking for in an heir, presumably. someone who can rule a kingdom decently in her place, even better than her, i have my own hcs about that lmao. he’s someone who doesn't flinch when she touches his shoulder, who doesn't have such a cold stare, or such a shrill and uninviting voice. he's small and he's young and he's soft and he's talented and he's being mistreated

and like. she saw other kids getting publicly electrocuted and she saw lg hitting his brother and she saw the fucking evidence of really violent mistreatment, and she went ":/" until she saw someone who she could sympathize with.

and lh isn't who she thinks he is. He's a lemon person, he's Lemongrab's son (or... grandson or like. nephew. I don't know. young relative or like juvenile member of his species.) he's not a candy person, but he looks like one. he's symmetrical and visually healthy. so she gets maternal and concerned, because now it doesn't look like lg's hurting people she doesn't want to even look at let alone worry about (asshole). now to her it looks like he's neglecting and harming a young kid. And they're all young kids, they're all pretty new, they're all people and they're all being hurt. but she can't bring herself to care what he does so long as he’s hurting people she doesn’t care about, that's his business; when she gets involved he threatens to kill her or he upsets her people or whatever. but when she sees someone who looks like a person, who looks like a person of hers, who looks like a kid and who looks like a healthy kid being abused (chubby and healthy but tattered and shock collared and locked in a bathroom, as opposed to like. another lemon person walking around in nice clothes and a shock collar) she gets him out

and she plays on his feelings, she goes, you're the kid I always expected to raise. you're the kid I was supposed to raise to become a shining champion of my kingdom. I made lg, and he turned out wrong and I dropped him as far off the face of the earth as I could, and now I have Finn to be my champion. but you, you need to be great, still. you need to be my shining star. You need to go back and do what lg2 told you to do in his Fuvking Dying Breaths, because like, suddenly me and him are on the same page I guess. 

I don't super blame lg2 for putting all that on lh's shoulders tbh. He's not much older than the kids, really, and like I said, they're all poetic and tragic. and lg2 was getting eaten too so like can you really blame him for anything at that pt. he doesn't know pb really, all his interactions with her were probably Not Bad but lg hates her and would also do anything for her so lg2 probably hates her a little by association. You're the one who hurt my brother and hurt him and hurt him and hurt him, why should I trust you to come get my children away from a dangerous situation? how do I even know if you consider this a dangerous situation? glob for all he knows she electrocutes her people too when they don't please her. for all he knows this is normal.

actually no I give him more credit than that. he might not know if pb considers it normal or not but the fact that lg fucking destroys his spirit when just months ago he was telling him he was the best thing in his entire life, yeah, he knows hurting your kids isn't normal, he knows hurting your life partner isn't normal, he knows maybe how lg came to this conclusion, but he won't tolerate it if he can help it

Anyways I love him?

so in conclusion pb treats lh like he's a candy person when he's NOT, and phlannel boxingday is the absolute purest most wholesome character to ever walk into that fucjibg TV series and he's the only one who treats lh the way he needs to be treated - like a person, like a smart person, like a person who's been abused and been put on a pedestal, like a person with his own needs and experiences that are different from maybe what you'd expect or wish. That's my conclusion. It's 11 fucking pm I need my dam slEEP

real quick summary bc I think I see where I was trying to go with this long ramble: pb's inconsiderate in that she treats him like a gifted candy person, not a gifted lemon person, let alone just a scared little kid who's been really neglected and abused. she at least seems to just kinda ignore the whole thing where he gets defensive and... grabby? idk bc he grew up in a house where he was hungry and ignored and hurt

idk

you give a kid who was raised in a house where he's always hungry and competing with his siblings for food two cupcakes do you really think he's going to share them

especially when it's very clear that you have many cupcakes

do you really think so

also just. if we go w saying a LOT of lg's quirks come from him parroting how pb treated him, idk she just. doesn't do a great job of not treating lh the same way. sure she apologizes when she calls him unacceptable but still I get the feeling she treats him more like lg did than she'd like to think.

#o #long post #abuse mention #because no shit of course there is i'm talking about lemonhope #hhhhhhhhhhhgh #adventure time #<-- for reference #if any of this doesn't make sense like.... you've been warned. if u ask me to elaborate you'll get another 3000 word essay so

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 5 “Can’t we just bring the crazy 15 year old in? Why is that so hard?” - Sarah

The internal struggle is real rn. Do I throw Alex under the bus and secure my safety? Or do I try to sit back and hope a new target emerges?

I don't know how many people know this, but I try to write a big piece of bullshit before every tribal to release if I'm the one voted out. Here's the one from tonight.... First of all I just want to say thank you to the hosts and to my fellow competitors. Now I'm going to expose some snakes. (Please don't hate me people, I just want to blow the game up while I'm leaving). -Linus, Alex, and Tommy are in an alliance -Jonathan HATES Richie and Alex -Jaiden has told me that he has an idol -Crow, Sarah, and Brian have an alliance -Of the 3 mentioned above, Crow and Sarah have a F2 -Tommy is by far playing the best strategic game -Junior is playing an extremely well social game -Brian is connected to the heroes on MANY levels and he'll flip to them at a tribe swap -Linus also has a good social game -Jaiden is messy as fuck

hi my name is im fucked how r u?

BIIIIIITCH I'M GOING FOR MY OTTNN5 EDGIC I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! (but hopefully i at least get a CPM) The vote was 4 votes Alex. 4 votes Kage. 1 vote ME. 1 vote tommy. 1 vote Jon. theres a tie, brian gets the rock drawn and my stupid ass was like wait my names not on the list and that alone should make me a hero for being an honest bitch but then redo and jaiden leaves and bam i ERUPT.  in the main chat i'm like YO WHO VOTED WHO LETS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT!!! Jon/Crow/Junior all say they voted for alex, Linus says he voted for Kage and I say i voted for kage so thats 5/11 votes accounted for and i cant believe anyone actually listened to me and revealed their vote in the tribal chat lmao WILD i was completely left out of this vote and everything thats been happening on this tribe so its clear im on the bottom and with my name being thrown around at this vote whether i was actually a possible target or a decoy that shit isnt okay im not in the long term plans for ANYONE on this tribe so i have nothing to lose worst case scenario i put a big target on my back and i go out next and if that happens at least i didnt go out as a useless pawn in anyones game and its because i did something but what im hoping is to gain information (which i did because i found out how everyone voted within an hour after tribal) and 2. i wanted chaos so everyones mad at someone like kage voting jon was a big win bc that furthered their fight thats been alive since day 1 after that i went on a bit of a pity tour where i went to everyone and like was like "i feel so alone and isolated and no one trusts me and i just feel like i havent done anything to prove that you shouldnt trust me i just want to be included" just trying to make people feel bad lmao im so worked up its been 2 hours since tribal and i literally havent stopped ive been at a 100 out of 10 with everyone and im going to need to cool down and lay low but while i have momentum i caaaaant just sit around and do nothing so i guess we'll see what consequences my outbursts have had???? 

idk how to explain what just happened

I've wrote myself a hit list of people who ARE going home before me.... Jonathan Richie Linus Alex Tommy Brian

So after a few hours of info gathering I think I have bits and pieces of what happened in that last vote.... So the alliance of 7 (Myself, Jonathan, Sarah, Tommy, Brian, Jaiden, & Junior) were supposed to vote for Alex. However, Jaiden, being bored with the game or feeling outcast at the bottom decides that this is merely a ploy to get us to throwaway our votes. Then, he approaches various people, which I know to be Brian, Linus, and Junior (at least) about the possibility of still voting Kage. Whether this was to insight chaos or division for entertainment or strategy, I don't know.... Meanwhile, Alex is feeling on the outs as he's a smart player and observed it so he threw a vote at Tommy. Whether this was because he knew it would force the vote to tie or simply because he didn't like Tommy and wanted to give him a parting gift, I also don't know.... Jonathan, Tommy, myself, and Sarah stuck to the plan to vote out Alex (however, Sarah doesn't want to expose her vote in public and cause a confrontation between her and Junior considering Junior lied about his vote too....) Kage voted Jonathan in the same regard that Alex did. (Again, I don't know if it was planned or not or if either had connections to Jaiden's plans, but they both threw away their votes despite them being clear targets.....sketch....) Which means that someone threw a vote at Richie and is not fessing up about it. Richie voted Kage because I'm sure that's what everyone told him to do (as we were supposed to) and he was just alone. The vote for Richie, in my opinion, was likely Jaiden, given his rep for paranoia and throwing votes away to avoid rocks/idol plays (ironic, huh?) and that Junior voted for Kage as a part of Jaiden's plan considering there's a strong possibility that him and Linus are connected.... So right now, I trust Tommy, Jonathan, Alex, Sarah (but I'm also a little worried as to why she doesn't want to tell the truth to everyone....) and honestly, still Brian because I can relate to his position.....I want to build trust with Richie but we're not there quite yet. My targets would be Kage and Junior as of now. Kage just....just needs to go and Junior is a massive rat with a few too many strings on this tribe. Either or, I don't care which one goes first.... Or I'm totally wrong and still aligning myself with rats =)

I got REALLY lucky yesterday, however I also lost my closest ally in the process.  And I told him I would slay the rest of this game for him, so I must avenge Jaiden (who I will confessional-ize about all the time!).  I had some major damage control and I just pushed over and over again that I voted Kage, the truth, so that people would trust me more.  I hope they do still trust me, and I do think they realize that I'm still useful to most of them.  I grew insanely close to Richie after that happened, and the two of us will most definitely be working together.  Linus still trusts me, and I think Alex might still trust me to an extent.  Kage and I are probably done which is fine.  Junior is a snake or so I think.  Tommy doesn't not trust me, he just probably won't trust me as much.  But he did know about the Kage vote, so I didn't completely shock him.  Sarah and Crow need me, I think.  Jonathan needs me.  I hope my thoughts on all this are right djskahsd.

OK LISTEN THE FUCK UP HUNTIES!! IM ABOUT TO SPILL ALL THE GOOD TEA AND HONESTLY I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ON A VIDEO BUT MY PHONE! IS A POS AND apparently i have too many videos already? ANYWAYS SO I HAVENT MADE A CONFESSIONAL AND WEVE GONE TO TRIBAL COUNCIL THREE TIMES VILLAINS ARE A MESS HONESTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so the first vote was between brian and pat and then i messaged brian and i was like heheh i wannt to keep u so crow and i went around talking to ppl to see how they felt (crow and i didnt plan this out btw i guess we both just wanted to keep him?) SO THEN PAT WENT HOME! on a 9-3-1 vote ash self voted kage(mess), tommy and pat voted brian and the rest of us voted pat so anyways then WE FUCKING LOSE AGAIN!?!? are these heroes on steroids? idk? anyways! we gotta go to tribal council again and at this point im kinda like ok i feel fine.....AND DO U WANNA KNOW WHY??? crow and brian and I have an alliance jaiden and jr and I have an alliance tommy felt bad about being in minority and not listening to me for the pat vote so we have pledged our f2 together and he is literally the light of my life...i cant tell if he feels the same but boy do i love this boy...hes my ned pt 2 anyways so jonathan decided that he wanted a majority alliance with crow, brian, me, him, jaiden, jr andDD TOMMY !!! LEGIT ALL THE PPL IM ALLIGNED WITH SO IM IN THE FUCKING MIDDLE AHHHH SCREAM SCREAM BITCH THE FUCK CREAM CHEESE SCREAM so that works out ...obv i dont like jaiden or jr bc they fucking suck anyways so we all vote together to vote out ashley ... and kage and richie and linus and alex are just there i heard there have been an alliance with alex, kage, linus and tommy -which tommy doesnt like btw i know jr and linus are a thing richie and alex are prob a thing everyone is connected and tbh i dont really care for any of these players except for tommy...and Id like to add crow to that list but we all know hes a mastermind so ...i aint a dumb bitch SO ANYWAYS NOW ONTO THE THIRD VOTE...WE HAVE MAJORITY AND WE DECIDE TO VOTE OUT ALEX well DOESNT THAT GO ASTRAY jaiden decided to vote out kage, brian voted with him so basically heres how the voting went (hopefully im correct) crow-alex jon-alex tommy-alex sarah-alex kage-jon richie-kage brian-kage jaiden-kage linus-kage jr-richie alex-tommy but everyone thot i voted out ....richie..and I KNOW IN THE BOTTOM OF MY FUCKING HEART THAT JR IS LYING!! AND HE WONT ADMIT IT and heres why i know hes lying and hes a snake a rama 1) he put ashleys name out there on the second vote-he got scared it was gonna come to bite him in the ass so he told ppl "hes hearing ashleys name" 2) he has a clear alliance with kage and has been trying to keep him this entire time when its obvious no one likes him !?!? 3) he told kage that ashley went around saying kages name LOL which is funny so now kage hated ashley and they both hated eachother and tbh idrc if jr wants to make stupid obvious moves like this to pit two idiotic players against one another but hey ! like ...as long as u aint trying ur shit with me then idfc about u bitch 4) he voted richie and hes lying...like fucking stop? so anyways BECAUSE JAIDEN AND JR ARE UGLY AF INSIDE AND OUT I NOW NEED TO AMEND TIES WITH FUCKING ALEX bc him and i had an agreement of f2 :c so i tell him i voted him and that i didnt want to lie and then he wants a majority alliance with me, crow, brian, linus and richie !!! which im down for like bitch im not gonna turn down an alliance!?! but i will tell tommy about this bc i like that alex and tommy both dont like eachother hehe but alex is def playing middle but ill just let him think hes being slick BUT ANYWAYS I WAS BORED AT 1 AM LAST NIGHT SO GUESS WHAT I DECIDED TO DO ... look for the idol... so it went a little something like this me: josh i know ur online LET ME SEARCH FOR IDOL josh: yes hello wanna search me: YES josh: ok! me: josh pls give me an idol pls josh *crickets* josh: Congratulations! You have found the Modoru idol. This is a special idol with special powers. This idol, when played, will restart the round to before the last immunity challenge, halting the tribal council, resulting in no elimination from the game. The immunity challenge will be reconducted, and the game will continue as normal. It is important to note that is idol must be played before the votes are read, at the same time as a normal idol. If any other idol is played in addition to this idol, it shall be returned to it’s owner. me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I HAVE A FUCKING FISH IDOL anyways ya so thats what u missed on glee

The Heroes showing up to slay the villains in the challenge honestly I dont know whats my more favorite thing, winning immunity or watching the villains descend into madness

We won immunity again out of luck..... woopdy freakin doo. I feel kinda bad for the heroes because the Villains are having all the FUN and I wanna be included in on the fun, but I do have to keep reminding myself that no matter how eager I am, it's good that I've been immune these few times because, eventually, if I make it there, I'll have to go to every single tribal council, and knowing how horrific I am under pressure when it comes to individual immunities, I probably won't win many of those. But one good thing did come out of this round, and it's the fact that Kendall painted a bigger target on her back if we were to go to tribal, and it's to get her the fuck out of here. I know she's a strong player, and taking this opportunity to take her out, without even cutting the legs off of her body (and by that I mean taking out Ruthie first, so she feels safe and then stabbing her in the throat), but since Kendall is making it so easy to just target her dumb ass, I guess that'll work too and maybe I can now look into using Ruthie as an asset in this game, especially since she's so nice, she seems really loyal and doesn't have many social skills going around according to what I'm hearing from the tribe. Maybe it's time to start building that final relationship in our tribe, so I can use it in case we swap tomorrow, which I'm highly speculating

I also think it's about that time where I start picking up those strong relationships with those Villains like I had night one, especially if we're swapping tomorrow. I want to keep conversations raw and not too deep. Like a "Good Luck at tribal" and see if it'll spark anything. I've been consistently talking to Tommy, Linus and Crow, but I also know Tommy has been having consistent conversations with members of our tribe, and honestly, there's a chance I might slip this information to Crow to see if he can take out Tommy, especially because he's a winner. OMG THIS CONFESSIONAL JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT IDEA. Let's see if I can low-key just plant the seed to get him the fuck out of here and see what's up :)

Drew and Alex C. hosting a main season TOGETHER during Japan? Mood. This is from after me winning the duel. Oops forgetting to submit it from last round

BY THE MOTHERFUCKING GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST I SOMEHOW GOT THE IDOL CLUE WITH AN 8% CHANCE OF IT POTENTIALLY GOING TO ME (ya know.... 1/12 #math). I know it's in the meadow based off of the clue, and lucky for me I already searched there once, so I've got a 1/3 shot of finding it........ AND I FUCK IT THE FUCK UP. Essentially I have two options here, either go to one of my closest allies (Steffen or Trace) to search for the idol as well in the space I told them to, and then they hopefully will it over to me, OR I just wait until next round and HOPE I'm still on Heroes beach (despite the high speculation of a swap), and just hope that I can search again to better my odds. I decided there's no time like the present, so I run to Steffen and Trace, but Steffen answers first, so lucky for Steffen, and I tell him the predicament, and he goes to look for the idol and nada. Now at this point, I just gotta wait it out because I think there's a decent chance we won't be swapping, and that would be incredible for my game because then I can actually go for it now and find out if it has been found or not. I'm getting the feeling that at the fifth round of this game, either someone got a secret idol clue during their search (which is very possible) or that someone got DUMB lucky. Either way, I'm keeping optimistic at this point and praying that shit goes my way. ~Cheers to not a swap~

Also, fucking Tommy keeps messaging me about swapping tribes and wanting to abandon ship with the villains because it's essentially him and Kage vs everyone else. I'm not really sure if this is true, especially because he has fucking won this game before, but I'm going to assume, based on what's been told to me, that it is actually Tommy and Kage vs the tribe, and I think it'll be an interesting tribal tonight, with it being likely that Kage goes home. On a totally different note, I decided to try to utilize my relationship with Crow on the villains tribe, and let him know that A LOT of Heroes have been getting messages from Tommy nonstop, and as much as I think he's nice, the second I found out about Tommy messaging ALL the heroes, and not just me, it made me realize that I don't really think I can trust him and that he's gotta go. I wonder if Crow is going to be taking my advice, or maybe cutting the legs off of Tommy, but Tommy can be a huge tool for me that I can use against the Villains if I end up on a swapped tribe that could fuck me over in numbers, but with Tommy, I've got a shot. As of now, I think Kage is going from what Tommy told me, which means that Tommy is likely next on the chopping block, and he's been talking to me A LOT about mutinying, but I'm not really sure he can do that, but if he can, and he chooses to, there probably won't be much stopping me from booting him out of our tribe almost immediately. We'll see how tonight goes because I'm HIGHLY skeptical about it, but I've got faith that we're not swapping because our tribe declared that Dom is competing in this duel for our tribe, and idk if the hosts are fucking with us or not, but if they are, then kudos to them because I don't know what to think at this point

https://youtu.be/6yiILcktIqo

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

[survivorazores]

Ep. 8 - “People will probably think I'm lying even if it is the Bee Movie script” - Amanda G

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163848143303/reward-challenge-survivor-auction

I NEED TO KNOW WHO VOTED WHO DSFJSDHKFJDSJ. Did emily/amanda/ali vote together with someone correctly??? Also so iconic how emily <3 and my espresso pals didnt get votes. This really makes me want to win the next immunity so I'm closer to merge and I can meetup with them and get the details

This is my first auction and I'm really curious to see how this is gonna go down

OK Wow my alliance arent snakes and im alive! the vote went exactly how it was supposed to go! Nayeli went home and so did her idol! So now I know that the dragons alliance (Emily, Amanda, Will and I) are a solid 4 person majority! Which means were most likely going to make it to merge knock on wood! As long as the hosts dont try and of that bullshit and swap us again we should be all set!

I'm so happy that I'm finally in the majority!!! Host Ali even said, "Congrats for your first vote in the majority! woooo!" I'm honestly very happy about it and I'm stoked for the reward challenge. I feel confident and even if I don't get something good, it doesn't matter. Nothing can get me down right now.

WHEW is all I can say tbh. I'm so overwhelmed but everything played out how it should. Things are looking up!!! Nayeli's idol is gone!!! I have everyone in the tribe on my side I believe!!! Um!!! I'm still a nervous wreck but happy because things worked out.

ok im gonna start playing messy af now lol lIKE NO MORE BS i should have known nayeli was a target bc she had a idol fuckkkkkkk and they purposely split the votes bc I'm assuming ali told them that we were in an alliance. IDK WHAT TO DO LOL!!!!!! bc i don't wanna be anyones bitch and be like awwww keep me here and ill do whatever you want lol. i don't wanna trust ali though like really ?????? like you obviously don't like our alliance and I'm gonna start flipping now. idk who to trust but its definitely not someone who outs their alliance the minute the first time we go to tribal. like when was nayeli going after you ali!?!!??!?!?!?!??! never LOLOLOLOL fucking idiot and hell realize that. i wish he would have used that info and told her and we could have used the idol!!!!!!!!! anyways its evident he has more alliances and i wanna fuck him up i hate men

idk what to do I am very alone in this game and its evident from the 2 votes and also WHY WOULD ALI LET THEM TRY TO IDOL ME OUT!!! FUCK YOOU YOURE NOT A GOOD ALLY NOW I CLEARLY CANT TRUST YOU AND IM POPPING OFF ON HIM RN

ok i don't like abbey or will just bc i don't like talk to them at all, i don't like ali for reasons mentioned before, and emily n amanda G LIKE WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM !??!?!?!?! they were a part of the whole skeem (pls god help me spell that word) so how can i trust them ?!?!? i wish i had someone else to help with this game to tell me what to do saifnsaifndsionfdsio i really need to come back n glo up

Lol nayeli getting voted out??? Hmmm looks like the alliance I had with Ali is over since he is now clearly a RAT

ALI KEEPS SAYING I KNOW YOURE MAD N I REGRET IT LIKE NO YOU DONT!!!! you willingly made that decision just own up to it and stop bullshitting it. i hate when ppl do that like you made that move OWN IT BITCH!!! like if i ever made jury or whatever I'm not bitter like i would vote for ali in a heartbeat if he blindsided me again goddamn it but don't say i regret it and i feel bad like ITS YOUR MOVEE!!!!!!

i got played rip and i know it was amanda lynn that told emily about my alliance with nayeli n michael n ali fuckkkkk GTE HER OUT!!! i knew she was no good from the start bc she was playing other games n hosted a bunch and we got out some person who wanted her out who was in my alliance week 1 like I'm an idiot great! THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

I'm excited to see what sort of things are up for action and I hope I can get my hands on something advantageous. I don't really have too much to say

Ok time to get confident and win something to help me since there's no way I'm getting an idol through searching. I hope the auction gets me a good prize cause I need it. http://www.rophydoes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/glee_1375.gif

I'm nervous because I'm gonna most likely be getting in a call with Will and after Ricky going home I don't know what's going on in his head

How I have felt this whole game being attacked and unsure of who to trust I just gotta get a little bit longer to jury http://i.imgur.com/6NUZjGp.gif

I knew Gwen would be mad but my girl Emily told her that amanda Lynn spilt the tea and that she's a rat YAHAJWHQHAHAHAHQH

http://youtu.be/MqyixybVn2I

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163853320623/auction-results

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163852968898/tribal-immunity-8

I bid on a parchment... And I don't know what's in it. I'm really nervous to find out because no matter what I say, people will probably think I'm lying even if it is the Bee Movie script. I hope it's a vote steal or something like that, that would be a game changer. I'm also super stoked that Emily also got an item, but again, it could be the Bee Movie script.

Y'allllllllllllll This auction? The opposite of nut! Amanda Lynn (I believe Amanda Lynn won it I forgot already) has the power to look at one person and see all the alliances they're a part of??? UM?????? I'M IN LIKE TEN ALLIANCES GIRLIE THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR ME!!! I should have bid on that oh my god. But now I have a parchment with beneficial information to the game? Fun.  Ali T has a spy glass??? Gwen has something I forget but it's something good I think. God! I'm scared. These are all things that can really hinder my game. I'm like very worried. I'm just hoping no one uses their advantages against me. ESPECIALLY the alliance one. I................. hate my life

So I got what I wanted at the auction. I didn't really want anything because I was afraid I could be targeted because of it and I didn't want to outbid anyone. My torch is pretty lit (so punny) so I'm really happy! The other tribe getting a disadvantage in the next challenge is iconic tbh so wig! Francie having her person challenge advantage is scary because I think she's already good at challenges so I have to watch out for that. Amanda Lynn getting the power to talk to a voted out person is honestly the only thing I would want. I would love to be able to talk to like raf because I don't think I am allowed to anymore since he's out of the game and I'm still in. It was super cool to see Amanda G and Emily slaying the auction as usual. Amanda G could have a vote swap or steal or extra vote or something so if I remain aligned with her and we both make it to merge then that will be great. I was shocked that Mo gave me his money on his way out,  I thought he might not really be with me so that was a nice surprise. I need to start making sure he believes that he is my closest ally so I can be safe on this tribe. He is very loyal and I think he plays based on his emotions and wouldn't turn on a friend and that is basically me except for like once when I voted out the two people who went to rocks for me at F6 at F5 and F4 whoops! But yeah as long as I have him I think I'll be good, especially because I think/hope he isn't as close with Amanda Lynn and Francie so if they want another espresso member out it would be him. Michael wasn't at the auction so that was iconic. Also Amanda Lynn went on a mini bidding war with me for the best item aka torch, so I should make sure I let her know that me bidding wasn't against her and I don't think her bidding was like a move against me; so that there can be nothing assumed that would make us not as close. I miss the INFP's :(

SHIT man Amanda G got an extra vote!!! I love this girl and how we tell each other everything. I told her about my merge idol clue!!! We're excited!!! Okay I'm a little more at ease. I just gotta watch out for that alliance thing that Amanda Lynn has. That's scary. And I KNEW I should have bid on it. Oh shit now Ali is telling me about his item - I love having everyone trust me - HE GETS TO SEE EVERYONE'S VOTES!!! Guess I can't lie to him about the vote anytime soon lmao. Ugh we have a 10% disadvantage this tribal, and that's RUDE because Espirito has a 50% ADVANTAGE with Amanda Lynn and Francie like WTF!!! Never mind fjasnkjflnkads I'm gonna go play free rice and learn some grammar goodbye

Guess who is stupid and just realized Gwen is the one with the alliance revealer. LMAO! I guess I gotta vote her out fdnsfjknad she is not getting a hold of my one hundred alliances no sir.

I got an extra vote!! I'm pumped, but also nervous. If I get blindsided and voted out, it's not transferable. I feel secure with this and the idol and since Emily told me she has a clue to the merge idol, we can get very far in this game together and I'm pumped!

I just realized I said I'm pumped twice and I apologize.

I can ask a question which could be good but I have to figure out how to word it to maximize the usefulness. I'm glad my auction was on good nite and not wasted whew

EXTRA DETAIL:

Ashley used her question this round and her question was: 

What is the exact location currently of every possible prize ( idol vote stealers advantages etc) you guys have created for this game? 

The answer she got was:

- Somebody on Salao has the re-hidden Espirito idol, so there is no idol to be found for the Espirito tribe - The Salao idol was found and re-hidden (meaning someone went home with it), and currently nobody has found it - Those are the only idols currently in the game - Gwen still has the alliance revealer - Ali T still has his spyglass - Amanda G still has her parchment, and that item cannot be transferred - Amanda Lynn has not used her knowledge/closure item - The contents of Emily's envelope will only be revealed to her at the point when its contents become relevant, but she still has the envelope - Will still has his necklace w the feather - Francie still has her 15% advantage

This is a good challenge just bc of the cause it's going to. Honestly, I can't stop laughing about the "buy yourself out of the auction" and the useless torch items from last night. Also, re: actual strategy and stuff, apparently Nayeli and Michael were somewhat a duo for some time before the tribe swap. I'm glad Nayeli is gone because it breaks up that alliance there.

I'm so tired I feel like being lazy on this challenge but I don't want to be the reason we lose and I definitely don't want to get the smallest amount of rice so I'm just going to get rice all day I guess!  I hope we win and I'm glad I didn't get the disadvantage in the auction, hehe, sorry abbey

re: free rice guys my brain is melting this is too repetitive 

My only plan for this fake idol right now is to wait until a major move needs to be made, and then lure someone into trusting me and give them the "idol" to play at a tribal council where - in reality - they'll be blindsided. There's plenty of people in this game right now who are big targets that trust me enough to where that would work - realistically I shouldn't have told Abbey but that shows her that I trust her 100% right now and that's what I need at the moment. If I had to take out any of old Espirito (besides Abbey) at any point, I could probably do it with this - Ruthie, Mo, or Amanda G especially, I can see them being big social threats post-merge - but I could also pass it along and convince someone to give it someone else. Regardless it gives me a bit of power right now and I like it.

I'm stressing out about rice but I just hit 40,000 so I'm hoping everything will be fine!!! Espirito better flop at this challenge lmao

I feel like I've been playing free rice for so long. I have almost 27,000 grains and my brain is fried (rice.) Please help me

Tea: I don't want to go to tribal again until the merge! I hate tribal at this point!

I am so nervous for the deadline. I'm thinking the announcement might be merge and I'm praying it is so I can get back with Bryce. I don't want to go to another tribal council until merge, so I'm hoping that Salao pulled through and won.

I literally have been sitting and clicking on my computer ever since I woke up this morning. I got 59,250 grains of rice...........we better win I swear to GOD!!!! That damn 10% disadvantage will really hold us back and I'm not happy about it.

ok thank god emily n ali tried super hard and i did really decent in the challenge so i can pray i have immunity and hopefully keep winning it until a merge LIKE I DONT WANNA GO HOME!! emily ali n amanda are still being really nice to me tho. also i told amanda g i wanna go really far with her so lets hope that makes her want to keep me. I'm going to try and tell her that if she votes me out then like theres going to be 2 bottom people out of that 5 person alliance and we can balance that out with me and ill actually be her ride or die

The Espirito tribe loses immunity

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163887476263/immunity-results-8

OH GOD FUCKING BLESS WE WON IMMUNITY that means no scrambling, no mess (for now), and hopefully someone I don't know or who's out to get me gets voted out that would be.... a dream wow

...........shit. I don't want to go to tribal, but the alliance I'm in has plans in place from last tribal for this one. Us former Salão members + Mo have majority so we should be able to target someone (likely Ashley) and get them out successfully as long as we stick together.

Fuuuuuuck, the last time I was this nervous was the fourth tribal council. I really don't wanna go home though and all I can do now is rely on social game.

I'm so happy!!!!!! I don't have to vote anyone out tomorrow!!!! I'm so happy!!!! Salao CRUSHED IT!!!! I don't have to turn on anyone!!! My day wasn't wasted!!! God - I am so happy. I spent so much time earning rice... I truly hate myself for it. But Gwen will likely use her alliance thingie on Amanda Lynn in merge, thus exposing her! That'll be great considering I want her to be voted off before she can secure any individual immunities. I think merge is tomorrow night. I can't believe how iconic this is. I'm yelling!!!! I can't believe I might actually be making merge??? AND I have a merge idol clue??? ICONIC! I just love life right now. Now I have time to read and work on scholarships tomorrow now that we are immune and my show is over!!! Wow - this is so great. I love Salao and I was really stressed about having to vote out another tribe member.

Something I'm worried about though is how I exposed Amanda Lynn to Gwen and that will probably blow up in my face. I can always claim I didn't say the things I said or whatnot... But I can't wait to be reunited (HOPEFULLY) with Bryce and hear all of the things that have gone down on Espirito!!! More INFPs calls!!! Oh my god - things are looking up??? I'm hoping I'm not reading too much into hosts asking us to be present after tribal... But I think we're merging??? I hope so!!! Oh my god!!!

Also, you would think that after like twenty hours of earning rice from answering questions about English grammar, I could write a nice confession essay sort of thing. I'm just too excited. I'm sorry. AHHHHH!

This comp is such a risk cause some people have irl stuff while others have plenty of time. It's luck and sadly we lost again. Let's hope our tribal can be easy like last time and we agree on who goes. I'm just trying to get to jury cause I know there are people,that want me out. Now to see what's the general feeling around

thankful we fucking won omg i needed that!!! and everything does seem really cool wit amanda g n ali. I'm not sure what I'm going to do at merge at all but well have to see what michael is doing and maybe we can start fucking shit up

I'm not ready for my game to end

We lost JFSKDHJKDSHFDSJKFHDS. I really didn't want to lose so I'm a flop. I had been pretty calm and happy sitting out for a tribal for once so to be back here is unfortunate. Mo wants ashley out and idk who else is the target but hopefully not me. Im gonna talk to Amanda and Michael and see what they think 

Im so ready for a merge, if its another switch im gonna cut someone, I legit did that challenge for 4 hours and and off an on all damn day! so I better make merge *prays* also lets talk the tea on Amanda Lynn, so Emily and I are close allies so we talk ALOT, she tells me Amanda Lynn made so many alliances and then she ratted the alliance that SHE made without even telling me about she told me that "she was my closest ally" Im ready for Queen GWEN SAGGLICOA to take her weave off come merge (please be merge) and Emily and I can stay under the radar!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Ashley says people are deciding between me and Mo, but I think Me, Francie, Mo, Amanda are all voting her so it should be good. But I don't know how well I can trust them. Francie says she doesnt talk to Ashley often but Ashley mutineed for a reason so it might not add up

https://youtu.be/7k9-9lCT0t0

Amanda and I have been talking today we've convinced Mo and Bryce to vote Ashley. Everything seemed to be going well but then Ruthie told the Feminism chat that Mo and Bryce were planning on voting Ash. Who told Ruthie??????? (shit??)

At this point you have to wonder what Ashley is doing telling people who's names are up that they're up bc it's messy. On the bright side, now Michael is considering voting Ash. We didn't try to get him to vote for her before because last time we brought up her name Michael tried to talk us out of it so he might have some kind of connecting with Ash. However, he's considering voting for her now (or he's playing us in the chat) so maybe it'll work out?

Michael randomly is seeking drama which is a choice... I just let him know what Ashley told me and he tries to make it seem like I'm hiding things from him when she literally didn't give me a name...

*Aaron Burr voice* “I'll keep all my plans close to my chest” (unlike Toph did) aka I'm going to try to keep my connection with Amanda on the DL bc I don't really need anyone knowing how close we are

I just want to survive this tribal then I'll be happy I don't even know what's gonna happen but I wanna be there for it. It's prob gonna get messy and I love seeing it !!! Yeah I know week one I didn't want to see it but it's much later in the game time to mess stuff up

Mo VS Bryce.... HMMMM.  I would rather Mo stay but i don't want my alliance to think that I'm like... being too pushy about it so I'm happy to just sit back and vote whoever they want.  I want to turn into someone that is just borderline chill so I can just... blend in a bit and make it to at least merge which I think is... SOON!

My perfect game is going out the window because Ashley wants to vote me ;(. So either no perfect game or game over lol, I guess I can be fine with receiving votes then.

Hoping everything goes well

I'm a bit nervous for Espirito's tribal because Bryce is still on that tribe. I really hope he isn't on the outs and that he makes it out alive tonight. I think we're going to merge after tonight, so I hope nothing bad happens to him.

I am so paranoid but im trying the fun method of ignoring my problems and pretending they dont exist!! Also amanda Lynn and her fear of idols is really messing with me because she doesnt want me to tell anyone other than mo and francie that im voting ashley but thats problematic because ruthie and michael want to know JKDSFHFKS. maybe im being played!

God, I hope tonight is the merge. Also, I'm praying that Bryce stays tonight!!! I think he will be fine because he's very under the radar, but I'm still very nervous! :0 I just don't want my game to blow up but... I feel like it'll happen soon especially because Gwen is planning on exposing Amanda Lynn soon with all of her alliances and whatnot. How did Gwen figure out that Amanda Lynn was leaking all her information? Me. I'm literally such a rat dkjfa;fdjs I-I can't handle myself. At least I have a few people that will help me vote out Amanda Lynn if possible. I know Gwen will be against Amanda Lynn, Ali will (We compared notes last night and I told Ali that Amanda Lynn has exposed a lot about him and his alliance), Amanda G will, Bryce might, Michael might (because he's close with Gwen), and who knows what else we can do!!! I'm so nervous!!! Merge? I want it. Merge? Keep it. I just don't know what I want honestly. Hoping for the best.

My heart is in my stomach right now. I'm so nervous about this twist, I'm hoping that it's merge so Emily and I can be reunited with Bryce. I really hope that we can get together and dominate until final 3.

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163925353903/tribal-8-ashley-voted-out-5-2-bryce-received-2

LAST WORDS:  I have no clue what happened more than likely someone is lying so I was rudely voted out for no reason. All I wanted was one more week then I would have gladly sit back and let them fight it out. I'm proud of myself tho cause it was a struggle from day 1. Idk why this game is so crazy but I have never had a game like this. I had stress and anxiety from start so I had to work extra hard and I'm just done with the game. I'm all for being a snake or engineering a blindside but you can't play in a game where you can't trust anyone. I literally had no one I could trust for the entire game. Ruthie is loyal but I wasn't working with her until we were forced to. Once we separated I felt better knowing I could play my own game without rumors swirling. Honestly I really am disappointed in the game overall because I really couldn't play a normal game I'm used to where I strategize and make allies and big moves cause I was too busy trying to keep myself out of target. Too many people switching their minds and flip flopping make the game messy and while I don't mind messy it way too early. Jury phase hits then yeah let's get messy but prejury is too early for that. At this point I think Ruthie and will are only ones that deserve to be in the game cause they are playing well unlike the rest who just follow along and don't know how to make their own choices. I can't respect the snakes that flat out lie to you either which there are several of. Being a snake is one thing but what they are doing is rude and not game play. It's taking it personal and I have absolutely no respect for that.

Ashley becomes the final premerge boot of Survivor Azores

#imthegreatergood #episodes