okay now that i'm no longer trying to keep a project secret from certain people i can complain publicly about a thing i've been losing my mind about:
why the fuck is the evo wiki like that.
listen. i know. i know fandom wikis being decent entirely relies on whether there are people who both want to obsessively categorize things enough to fill out the wiki, with the free time to do that kind of obsessive categorization, and the desire to manage it all as a wiki. believe me, i know. but please i'm just trying to do research please, please at least bigb's page was just Entirely Empty so i knew i had useless information and just left. why the fuck did the mafia's page, by contrast, have this:
a sentence that is actively LESS USEFUL THAN IF IT WERE NOT THERE.
and then grian's page - GRIAN'S. GRIAN'S. THE ONE PAGE I THOUGHT MIGHT HAVE A SHOT OF BEING FILLED OUT. JOKE'S ON ME I GUESS.
BECAUSE IT HAS THIS????? I'M LOSING MY MIND. WHY ON EARTH IS THE WIKI LIKE THIS. WHY IS IT THIS BAD. PLEASE I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT EVERYONE'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH JIMMY AND MARTYN WERE PLEASE,
anyway thankfully i had friends who could help me with their own knowledge and who also found the evo recap but in conclusion i have been being driven mad by this for weeks, thank you for coming to my ted talk.
Please please please tell me that you’re as obsessed with the little sound he makes at 10:29 as I am :’) - just the little ‘mhmm’ and the way he sucks his bottom lip I CAN’T.
just seconds before the poor man got called a tart 💔
no for real though i am obsessed with it the way i am obsessed with all his little non verbal encouragers, and the way he kind of savours the sound of them as he utters them?? (he does the same with certain words too and i am if possible even more obsessed with that 😭) but yeah, i feel like there’s definitely an undertone of irritation or impatience here that gives this little 'mhmm' a slight edge - which, jesus christ. is NOT surprising given the literal everything about this interview. but yeah, i love how much expressiveness he injects into that one little sound. i love HIM 😭😭
ok no im so tired but ive had this Thing a Laughingstock Concept Thing in my Brain for Days Now and its.... basically what if Barnaby adopted a lil caterpillar. like it's not sapient or anything its literally A Wriggly Puppet Prop. but he finds it in his home and it reminds him of Howdy and he keeps it. he carries it everywhere. he treats it so tenderly and names it and everything. his delusional smitten subconscious is like "omg... mine & howdy's <3" he and Howdy are not even together at this point
so Barnaby cares for this lil caterpillar and Howdy ends up getting attached as well, because he's on the same shit as Barnaby. and eventually the lil caterpillar pupates, and they watch over the chrysalis So Excited to see what lil wormie will look like as a butterfly. and it emerges and they're so proud and weirdly emotional. the butterfly takes off on its first flight and lands on a flower patch
just in time for Eddie to trip and fall on the patch, instantly crushing it And the butterfly
EVIILLL (i love that) BUT do they still make out WAYYYY longer then needed even if they're broken up?
oh, Certainly, darling. ;)
here’s the reference post for context.
and actually, that whole music video scene/side plot lives so rent free in my head, that i…started writing it out as a little mini para? i just miss writing stuff and wanted to do something fun and dramatic and spicy with legit crazy amounts of emotional/sexual tension in it.
because…oooough my god, i just know jersey was annoying and extra as FUCK that whole time. which, while diabolical, is also a very bold move bc stan was not speaking to him, like, At All and had no intentions to but kyle, conversely was extremely desperate speak to him so…he saw his opportunity and he took it, baby!
my man was Working! It! every angle, throwing his head back, his jawline could cut glass, his hair was so luxurious i bet it smelled so good, his like billowy tunic thing was falling over his shoulder, which has so many freckles on it…all while he was winking and waving his pretty long ass fingers at stan, smiling evilly.
— and when kyle does the things he did to him as raven back to him, it’s so funny to me because stan had to be blackout drunk and try really hard to exert that level of sex appeal as the biggest boyfailure on planet earth, but jersey quite literally is just That Bitch, does not need to try at all, can do it ten times better and it’s one hundred times more effective on ravenstan —
who is probably in hair in makeup, gripping the table so hard, trying to be unbothered when he’s SO bothered, hot and otherwise, shaking so much the hair and makeup team are like “you need to stay still.”
like stay still???? STAY STILL??? bitch! could you stay still if literally your ex super best boyfriend and the hottest person on planet earth is trying to eye!fuck! you! during the shoot for YOUR MUSIC VIDEO??? which i know that was extra stressful bc it was stan’s music video so it was his concept so he designed his own hell and built it around kyle and wanting to see kyle do it, so he literally played himself, rip bestie.
a mess…a MEEESSS.
and after all that happens which, whEw! a lot was happening, it was Very Ungentlemanly And Depraved, there were a lot of hands…in places that polite young man’s hands should not be…but when they pulled off i Swear kyle was smirking lookin sooo smug and satisfied, absolutely shameless, abt to try and go in for another one like literally tucking stan’s hair behind his ear, like skating his nail down his jaw line slowly and stan was SEETHING. i mean mad mad MAD!!! and stan never gets mad. like he stormed the hell out of there slammed the door And Everything before screaming into his hands.
free ravenstan, stop the violence jersey!!! you know my man is a pacifist and can’t fight back. :/
p.s. pls note that ravenstan looks like a slutty punk rock crimson dawn virgin sacrifice version of victor van dort in corpse bride but like more red than blue bc of raven stans angst divorce hair…do we…do we see the vision? there’s a vision and in it stan looks extremely pretty, wide eyed, easily corrupted & biteable. <3
Hey hey I need to uuh hum fight you at the back of a Denny's or something over those tags on my cyberpunk post lile wtf? That's such a good analysis of his character I love your work a lot in general but this is doing me in I'm gonna cry, you're so fucking right about this dumb broken man 🥺😠
I will not fight you I will bake you a cake and give you a kiss because you're very sweet I appreciate your kindness 😘
I really love your perspective on Johnny's disabilities and addictions impacting how he sees and interacts with the world-- as someone who herself isn't disabled I tend to overlook the way people view the world through that lens and as a result have realized that I haven't touched upon it much in my own analysis of Cyberpunk, and your insight really was spot-on and spoke to me in a way I hadn't considered before.
I talk a lot about the themes and meta of the game but Pondsmith himself came out and said, like, before the game came out that Johnny is not the hero of the story. He THINKS he's the hero of the story but the way people and even himself idolize him and his actions are in many ways his biggest shortcoming. Johnny is addicted to the image of himself, much like he's addicted to his vices and addicted to his cause. He needs his anchors no matter how detrimental they are to him, but in many respects those anchors were never his choice. Now he's stuck in his place, dug in and unable to move, and that's the way he dies. Alone, unmoored, and stuck in his ways.
He's a very tragic and even empathetic character-- I do understand why he does the things he does and feel for him when he suffers tragedies-- but treating him as a hero of this story is wrong, in my opinion. He's a disabled, traumatized war veteran who was set up in life to fail at a very early age. His flaws are of his own making. They are not of his own design.
Also I can't believe I'm saying this about a persona 5 spinoff but p5t is actually... Surprisingly good? The character dynamics within the phantom thieves are much more fleshed out (which is something I always took issue with in the original game), the character screentime is a lot more balanced and mostly no flanderisation (aka yusuke gets to Do Things for once, makoto gets to Not Do Everything thank god, morgana is the most likeable he's ever been to me), the new characters are incredibly fun and executed very well especially for spinoff-only characters, the plot concepts are interesting, the sprites are very fun and expressive, like. idk I just didn't expect it to make up for some of my issues with the main game tbh!! a pleasant surprise for sure
I am very confused, what is SOTF? (Sorry, somewhat new to the fandom)
hey oh my god this took me so long to get around to and im sorry but sotf is maybe my favorite thing in the world and i wanted to pour my heart into this answer even tho its really not necessary
survival of the fittest is an old series bdubs ran in 2014 that consisted of two seasons of a battle royale style competition set in modded minecraft. the modpack introduces guns and vehicles, including planes and helicopters allowing for air combat, and the whole thing takes place in this giant custom map full of cities that are constantly getting destroyed in airstrikes.
the map and gameplay are so cool, but rly what gets me are the players and how they all get so fucking into it. bdubs especially plays this game like its life or death and makes every decision very carefully, including his alliances. interactions with other players are high stress situations and it becomes so evident who he puts his trust in when he's forced into a world where he shouldn't trust anybody, but does anyway.
i always joke that bdubs invented minecraft death games because of sotf which is not true, but if u are looking for something similar to the life series in the fact that it's just a bunch of friends taking a minecraft minigame too seriously, and u don't mind 2014 youtube, then u should absolutely check it out! if u need a place to start, i'll give u the same recommendation that rio gave me many months ago which is to start with ethos pov of season one, and then if u can bear two hours of bdubs crawling around in the dark, watch his pov of season two!!!! and if u do and u like them please put all of ur thoughts directly into my inbox xoxo