#anyways im back hoes please clap | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

st4rz4-u · 1 month

Text

~Home Invasion~

"she's a pretty one eh?" the masked figure says in a mocking tone to the other masked men "can't disagree on that one my friend" the other man says in agreement while they both laugh like the dumb hyenas those two are.

~"pl-please let me go! i s-swear i had no part i-in this!" i squeal out in terror

the two men chuckle as they come closer

~"sorry doll but that wont be happening now that we have a pretty thing like you in our hands"

(Now u might be wondering whats happening or how did this happen or when are these hot hunks of two men going to do unspeakable things to me u freaks but just so u understand a little better lemme take u back a few hours ago)

~~~~~~~~4 hours ago~~~~~~~~

~"ready to go to the party yett?" my bff ari says as i finish getting my makeup done

~"almost!" i yell back from the bathroom "but if u keep annoying me ill just take even longer!"

~"ughh why am i even still friends with u.." ari complains on the other side of the door sighing

~"because u love me and ur my wife" i say giggling at my own words as i finish my hair

~"yeah well i'm abt to divorcee ur bitch ass if u don't get our ass out here right now!"

~"jeez! okay okay! i'm coming out now! mean bitch.." i whisper under my breath

~"only for u love!" she shouts back as we both share a good laugh before i step out of my bathroom

I hear ari's breath catch when in her throat when i step out in my sexy but beautiful black body hugging dress with my long brown hair flowing behind me and black heels to match "omg! i really am the most lucky woman alive to have a wife like you!" ari says happily as she runs and hugs me tightly as we both giggle "oh hush girl if anything the men at this party will be begging to get a taste of ur body from how good you look!" i say sweetly complimenting her cute pink dress looking slut and wife materiel all at the same time.

~"yeah yeah i might look good but not as well as u babe! anyway we need to get going before sid drives here herself and beats our pretty ass's" she says giggling as we make our way to the car and locking up the house.

~~~~~~~~At the party~~~~~~~~

as me and ari pull up to the party and park the music is so loud we can here from outside and in the car! "Jesus! don't these people have ears??"ari says as she finishes parking the car and i giggle "well at least we know it'll be fun! speak of the devil himself here come sid with a..oh shit no so happy look on her face.." i as worriedly looking at them both "goddammit does this bitch ever have good days??" ari says getting out the car with me following behind her "well that bitch ur talking abt is ur own friend now get in the house before i kick ur ass's for showing up late" sid says mean as always "alright alright.. come on girls lets go get fucked up!!" we cheer in unison giggling as we make our way to the door and the music practically busting our eardrums as we step in and split up and i head straight for the packed bar sitting in between to men with masks on already eyeing my body creepily as the bartender asks me what i like.

~"hello miss so..what can i get for i fine lady like yourself hm?"

~"hmm i'll take a bloody mary darling"

~alright! bloody mary coming right up missy" he say clapping his hands and shooting me a wink

as i sit there texting ari and sid in our group chat asking where u hoes are the two men on each side of me start speaking in some other language which i think is spanish but whatever they are speaking it sounds..flirty?? idk that could be my dumbass mind trying to get me fucked before i've even had my drink.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sooooo what do u think abt this first story?? btw im so so sooo srryyy if there are any misspells or errors in the story this is my first time doing this;3 hope u all enjoyedddd<3

#masked men #idk what else to tag #ur moms fav hoe #ST4RSSS

0 notes

wagner-fell · 3 years

Text

I am still very new to this website and I don’t know how link a post but this fic is based on a post by @sandersgrey

(If someone reading this knows how to link a post please either explain it to me or link it in the comments because that post is *amazing*)

“Hmmm,” said Tessa, depositing Mina into Kit’s waiting arms and examining her buzzing phone critically. She shot a quizzical look in his direction.

Jem looked up from his novel. “What is ‘hmmm’, my love?”

Kit mimed vomiting but stopped dead in his tracks when she replied, “it’s Astrid’s mother. You remember her from parent teacher night, don’t you, my darling?” Kit swears they were being extra insufferable just to mess with him but he didn’t have the time to be annoyed when Astrid’s. Mom. Was. Calling. Tessa.

To understand why Kit was panicking as much as he was, you must know that Astrid’s mom was incredibly chill. She never got mad. The worst punishment she’d ever given her daughter was taking away her iPod for a week so she couldn’t listen to Mitski.

Was she calling about last night when Astrid, Mari and Kit threw eggs at the Shadowhunter’s that were giving Mari’s pack a hard time for no reason? No, that couldn’t be it. She’d given them the eggs.

Could the call be about the day before yesterday when Kit and Astrid got distracted doing homework and ended up snapping the coffee table clean in half while battling gladiator style with pool noodles? No, that wasn’t it. She’d just handed Astrid a twenty and told them to go to Kevin’s parents' shop and get a new one. Was she pissed because they ended up spending the money on ice cream instead? No, they ended up finding a table for free in the rubbing bin outside a fancy hotel.

Kit clutched his sister to his chest and prepared for the worst.

“Seo-yoon! What can I do for- Oh, hello Astrid!” Tessa paused briefly, presumably to listen to Astrid speak, and Kit sighed in relief.

“Kit is occupied at the moment but I can relay the message.” Another pause. “Oh don’t be frightened of me. I’m a tots rad mom. Your secret is safe with me.” Kit felt his face flush red as he heard his best friend’s laughter echo across the living room. “Okay! I’ll let him know. He has to get Mina to sleep before he can leave though. Lord knows he’s the only one who can these days.” Tessa chuckled at something Astrid said before wishing her good luck in her endeavour and ending the call.

She turned her attention back to Kit. “Astrid needs your help breaking into your teacher’s home to retrieve her cell phone.”

Kit blinked at her, dumbfounded. “You aren’t mad I’m going to go break the law?”

Because of course he was doing it. Astrid’s dad had bought it for her and he was extremely cautious about money. That was one of three things Kit knew about her dad. He was cheap, he lived in America and he loved the movie Fight Club.

Tessa ruffled Kit’s hair affectionately. “Please. I’ve raised two other Herondales. At least I know about this particular adventure beforehand.”

Mina began snoring softly and Kit handed her back to her mother. He grabbed his bag and started his journey to the door when Tessa added, “she also told me to say hi to a ‘daddy Kit’. Are you ‘daddy Kit?’”

‘Daddy Kit’ closed his eyes and wished for the sweet release of death.

“Why is Kit a daddy,” Jem asked, genuinely confused. “Aren’t I the daddy?”

Kit swung the door open so fast not even a speed rune could have aided him. But not before I heard Tessa reply, “Lily Chen certainly thinks so.”

Mrs. MacNamara clapped her hands together. “Why don’t we all go around and say a few things about ourselves?”

Kit buried his face into his hands. He’d been relieved when no other teacher had fulfilled the Disney channel stereotype of making every student introduce themselves to the new kid. But Mrs. MacNamara didn’t even seem to realize what she was doing.

All Kit’s fellow classmates groan. Expect one. Her hand shot up immediately. She was short, like smaller than Clary short. She wore a baggy pink shirt with the words ‘Queen Glimmer of Etheria’ sewed on with purple sequins and tight black jeans. Her colourful, choppy hair was in a low ponytail and she flew a few strands out of her eyes as her hand wiggled in the hair.

Mrs. MacNamara pointed at her. She stood up and smiled at Kit. “Hi. My name is Astrid. My hobbies include making my little cousin’s girl Barbies kiss, as it should be, and watching television shows where everyone is a terrible person so you can love all of them!”

“And what shows might that be?” asked Kit, already in the process of pulling out his phone and opening the Notes app.

“Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy again because it’s seventeen seasons as of right now. And to be fair it practically became a different show when they killed off Mark Sloan.”

“That’s enough, Miss Yang,” said Mrs. MacNamara. Astrid sat down and winked at Kit. Then she took out her phone and airdropped him a complete list of all her favorite shows, along with her number.

After Blessica’s pre-birthday birthday party, they went to Cirenworth and stayed up till four A.M. binging them.

They met outside a queer dry bar called Aries Not Welcome, the unspoken gathering place of the Merry Hoes. It was run by a poly lesbian couple in their mid-thirties. Quinn, Sydney and Aliyah may not have served alcohol but at least they were open 24/7.

“Did you bring the shit?”

Kit gave her a look. “The shit? How conclusive.”

“Shut up. You know, the shadowhunter thing.”

“The shadowhunter thing?”

“The, the, the glow stick that you draw with.”

“The glow stick that I draw wi-“ Kit closed his eyes briefly. “Do you mean a stele?”

Astrid snapped her fingers. “That’s it!” Kit shook his head in exasperation, smiling fondly. “I borrowed a torch from Quinn, let’s move.”

“Should I be worried that you know where Mr. Smith lives?” questioned Kit as he followed Astrid’s lead through the park.

“Should I be worried that your mom was fine with us breaking and entering?” she shot back playfully. Kit pushed Astrid and she fell off the path, laughing all the way.

“You called me ‘daddy’ to my mom’s face.”

She just laughed harder, slinging her arm around Kit’s shoulder. “It was over the phone, Christopher. And as I should.”

“Pffffttt. Why did you get your phone taken anyway?” She put her hands into her jumper pocket and looked at the ground. “Astrid.” She remained silent. “Astrid?”

She mumbled something under her breath. “What?” asked Kit.

“I WAS READING NINEJ FANFICTION!” she shouted.

Kit gasped. “I thought you were a die hard Kanej shipper,” he whispered.

“I’m a multishipper, okay?!” she replied, equally quiet.

“Does Blessica know?”

She shook her head. “And she will never find out.”

Kit saw the opportunity and he seized it. “She’ll never find out as long as you never call me daddy in front of either of my parents.”

She removed her arm from his shoulder and guided them out of the park, in the direction of the many apartments that lined this side of town. “I hate you.”

“Well, so does Mari. You're not special, Ast.”

She rolled her eyes. “You know Mari doesn’t actually hate you, right?! They’re just still in the enemy phase of your enemies-to-lovers romance. She only dislikes you because they feel something for you but they don’t know what so she interrupts it as loathing. In reality, her inner soul knows you’re hot and shmexie.”

Kit didn’t know how to process this so he just nodded and follow Astrid in silence to Mr. Smith’s house. (Plus, he was kinda glad that, according to his best friend, he had a little more time for Mari to ‘discover their true feelings’. If Kit screwed this up, he was out of countries to run off to.)

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.”

“What,” asked Kit, turning around to face Astrid and closing the drawer he was rifling through. “Did you find your phone?”

“Yeah. But I also found Blessica’s. She was Snapping Kevin. Platonic my ass. But he took the fucking trans flag out of her phone!”

Kit snatched Blessica’s phone out of her hand to examine it for herself. She was telling the truth. Where the glitter pride flag usually rested was just a clear purple case. Kit couldn’t believe his eyes.

“It’s one thing to misgender her every day.” Blessica had forced all four of the other Merry Hoes to sign a contract saying they wouldn’t do anything to harm him because of it. “But this is the last straw. You know what we have to do.” Oops.

“Yeah, but we don’t have any spray paint.”

Kit eyed Mr. Smith’s pink sofa, blue bar stool covers and white picture frames. “I think I have something better in mind.”

It would have been easier for both parties to just zip off the sofa cushions and tape them to the wall but by ripping them off in strips, they ensured he would have to buy new ones. And judging by the car he drove and the fiji water in his fridge, Mr. Smith could definitely afford it.

That reminded him, “I’ll finish up with this. Go put all his fiji water into my bag.” Astrid saluted him and ran off. “Wait.” She stopped and looked at him. “Steal all the remotes you can find.”

“How is he not awake?,” asked Astrid as they ripped the fabric of his seating from the stool.

He shrugged. “Don’t question it.” He shoved the bundle of cloth into her arms. “Glue this above the pink. I’ll handle the frames.”

“Say the magic word,” she sang.

“Please?”

“No. Lesbian. Come on, I thought you knew me better than that.”

Kit laughed quietly. “Can you lesbian glue this above the pink?”

She grinned at Kit. “It would be my pleasure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello! Sorry I haven’t written anything in so long. School just restarted and it has been…a lot.

@adoravel-fenomeno @thechangeling @the-blackdale @the-wckd-powers @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @ithurielkeepsgettingkidnapped @noah-herondale-lightwood @arangiajoan @shelvesofgold @maxboythedog @book-dragon-not-worm @hardlymatters

Very sorry if I forgot anyone. Lmk if you want to be addEd/removEd from the tag list.

#mari the werewolf #mari machado sotomayor #mari machado #kit rook #kit herondale #astrid yang #blessica reyes #Kevin chu #tessa grey #jem carstairs #lily chen #mina carstairs

46 notes · View notes

whiskehorange · 4 years

Note

RZ Michael scenario where y/n is a nurse at Smith's. There's a lockdown & she's trapped in Michael's cell. Pls make it nsfw & hella fluffy. TY

Hell YEAH BABY. I got carried away im so sorry-

Michael

Today, of all days, why did it have to be the day that you traded your later lunch for an early lunch.

You had always managed to get the last lunch schedule; which happened to be close to two o’clock. At this point, you’d absolutely give anything to have the twelve o’clock lunch just once.

And that’s what you did. And hour or do before the the call for the twelve o’clock lunch sounded, you had asked the front nurse if there was an opening for at least one person at that lunch, or at least anyone willing to take her spot just for today in trade for the last lunch.

Flipping through the nurse charts, she picked out one file that was near the bottom.

“Joyce was moved for today down in corridor three for today, and we’ve been looking for someone to take her place for patient checkup today. For Myers. That’ll give you first call lunch.”

She pushed her glasses back up and looked at, awaiting a response.

You moved your head back slowly, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. You’d take it.

She handed you the key and went back to the routine click-clack of her keyboard after handing you the key to Myers cell.

Myers was a famous name around the lunch room and just about everywhere in the sanitarium, really. Most nurses commented on his chilling yet oddly attractive height, while other combatted them with hoe dangerous he was. One recalling how she was there when he snapped a guard’s leg for getting in his face.

Hey, all you had to do was check up on him, take his tray, and do a routine mattress inspection, there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.

His inspection was in a few minutes, so it wouldn’t hurt to do it now so that you could head to the cafeteria early.

Jingling the door keys, you make it to Michael’s cell. Stepping inside, your stomach dropped, only for a moment, however.

That was normal for you. It’s that unexpected pit of fear that you’d get entering anyones cell, but it never lasted that long, knowing that you’d be out of there in a flash anyways and guards were at the end of each hallway.

“Hi Michael. I’m you’re nurse for today, Joyce was moved to another corridor just for today.”

You’re voice was cheery, something that a lot of your other regulars enjoyed and got you patients who respected and acted well. Michael, however, didn’t say anything.

You close the door behind you, setting the keys in your skirt pocket.

“This should only take a few minutes. Now if you could stand up for me and move to the side, that would be great, please?”

Michael, sat at his desk, didn’t move at first, but eventually stood up. He was much taller than you’d expected, he towered over your small form. He moved to the side as you walked over to his desk, taking the tray from breakfast.

You set it on the little shelf under his door window for you to take when you left. There wasn’t too much room to move, considering there was enough for a desk, the bed, him, and maybe a nurse. his walls were covered with what looked like paper-mâché masks. He himself had an orange one on. Either way, the masks took a little more space from the room to walk.

You smiled up at him, tilting your head slightly, “I like your mask. Orange is my favorite color.” Once again, there was no answer, but that was common with some patients.

Turning back around, you stand at the foot of his bed, “I’m now going to do a mattress check, then I’ll be out of your way.

Lifting up each corner and running your hands across the sides and tops of the mattress you found nothing, expect a small paintbrush tucked in between the wall and the bed.

It wasn’t carved for a pointed end or anything like other patients would have, but it was mandatory that you should take it anyways. It could have been “hidden with the intent to harm someone or oneself.” But come on, it was a paintbrush, and Michael seems to actually use it for something else, he probably didn’t know it was there.

You felt eyes narrow in on you, the feeling was overwhelming. Almost scary.

You turned and held it out to Michael.

“I know I should take it, but I doubt you where going to use it. If you were you’d have it on you. Go on, this’ll be our little secret. I’d hate for you to not be able to make anymore masks.” You cheerfully offered

Michael’s hand slowly took the brush out of your hands and held it, remaining eye contact the entire time.

“Thank you for being cooperative, Michael. Hopefully I can be your nurse again another-”

Your sentence was cut off by a loud ringing that echoed off of the empty halls. It was the lockdown alarm. Normally they tell the nurses when a routine drill is happening but you didn’t get one... which.. meant that there was... an actual emergency

“Michael, if you could step back into the corner for me that would be amazing,” you said, but much more serious. The smile fading off of your face .

You slowly turned back to the door to open it before the automatic locks kicked in to not raise suspicion, but inside your heart was practically pounding at the door already.

You grabbed the door handle and pulled as hard as you could, expecting it to open for you. You were a nurse of course, you didn’t have to be locked in here.

The door didn’t budge.

It was locked. With you inside.

Stepping back, you bump into something firm. Gulping, you slowly turn to see Michael standing directly behind you.

You’d expect someone in this sort of place to think about how they’d kill you. Maybe he was going to use that brush and plunge it into your eye. But it was quite the contrary.

Michael appreciated your kindness, you had a likable spunk to you that the rest of the nurses just didn’t have. Maybe because they were dealing with mentally insane people all day, but at least you were a nice light in this place.

You looked to... innocent. For a place like this, at least. Micheal was still a man, after all. You looked very pleasing to his needs.

“M...ichael?”

By the look in his eyes you could tell he was thinking of something. You didn’t know what, but it couldn’t be something good.

Michael took a small step forward, making you step back. The another, and another, until the top of your legs touched the edge of his desk.

He had never wanted or desired to do this to a nurse, or anyone since he had gotten here, but you looked so pleasing to him. Delicious isn’t the right word for someone as twisted as him, but he just knew that he wanted you and that he was going to have you.

The guards would have all been down attending to another situation, so it was only you and Michael in the cell.

He reached down, moving a piece of your hair to the side of your worried face as another hand hiked up your skirt. The hand that had moved the hair was ready to quiet your screams, but instead you only blushed madly, looking to the side in embarrassment.

Pulling your underwear off, he lifted you up onto the desk with ease to match his height. Tugging at the small belt on his pants, he shoved them off and out of the way.

Your mind raced as you thought of how wrong this was, hoe you should be screaming for help and fighting back, but instead you eagerly scooted to the edge of the table. Closer to him.

The gasp that escaped your lips as his length was pushed into you was a mix of pain and confusion. You had a small feeling he would be big, but not this big. You clenched your legs together in an attempt to get comfortable with him, but he pushed them back open.

Your mouth was agape. Michael’s hand reach up and grabbed your face, pulling your face to his as another pulled you closer to him. Bringing you forward onto his entire length. The twitched of your eyelids and legs were enough for Michael to stay hard.

Leaning his forehead against yours, your face still in his hand, he began to thrust himself into you slowly, but picked up the pace the moment he could adjust to your small form.

Your body was limp for a moment, the only way to stay in this position was to wrap your arms around Michael neck, which you did. At this rate, there was no getting used to Michael’s length, but you couldn’t deny that this was better than anything you’ve ever had before.

The wailing of the alarm was loud enough to drown of your own moaning. With each hard thrust came an equally powerful moan. Michael gripped your hips with both hands as you set your back against the wall. There was nothing to hold onto but the desk itself that was leaving scratch marks on the painting brick.

Your legs quivered with need as his cock continued to ravage your insides for what seemed like hours. You had already came but there was no use in attempting to speak. It’s not like your overstimulated body would be capable of producing words.

One of Michael’s hands ripped open your blouse, gripping your breast as he pushed his head onto your neck. Your hand running through his hair as he did so.

He was close, very close. As tight as you were he wondered how he had lasted so long, but it wouldn’t be too much longer. The clapping of his skin against your sped up as he did everything to push himself over.

You cried out his name as his final thrust buried himself deep inside you, spilling every last drop of his seed. His nails made cuts into your hips and ass while he firm grip left purple bruises.

As he pulled out you went limp against the wall, attempting to think about what to do next. The alarm had gone off about 30 seconds ago and the guards would be doing their rounds to make sure nobody else was causing trouble.

You stumbled off of the desk, pulling up your panties and up your skirt. Your legs were still shaking, you doubted you’d be able to walk in the heels you came in with.

Michael had already pulled up his pants and stood in front of the door so that nobody would see you as you bashfully buttoned up your blouse. Your hands were pretty shaky too, struggling to get the buttons in the correct slot. Michael bent down and buttoned the last three for you.

You head heavy footsteps approaching the end of the hallway as a guard could be heard lock checking each door. Panic spread throughout your body at you fixed your hair and wiped the tears off of your cheeks. Even attempting to control your shaking.

Michael brushed the hair out of your face once again and fixed himself, standing behind you as the guard looked through Michael’s cell window.

“What the- where you in here this whole time?”

You nodded. Michael’s hidden hand rested inside the top of your pants, making you blush madly once again.

“Did he touch you?”

You shook your head, “No, sir.”

#michael myer x reader #halloween 2007 #slasher x reader

998 notes · View notes

bladekindeyewear · 5 years

Text

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 12 - Candy Page 18

==>

Time to see what all the fuss was about Page 18. We’re with Jane... that might not be good. Especially given Lollipop proximity.

Jane scoffing at troll genocide again. :(

Gamzee seems more woke than Jane here.

GAMZEE: sO yOu SaYiN yOu NeEd DiFfErEnT sHoEs FoR yOuR hUmAn DiCkS aNd WhAt NoT?

Pfffff

Jane narrows her eyes at the disingenuous buffoon.

I dunno, he sounds like he’s being pretty goddamn ingenuous right now.

It’s not the first time they’ve had this conversation? Are they black with each other or something??

What’s more likely is he’s attempting to get a rise from her. To get her a little hotter under the collar. To put her in a certain mood.

Oh my gosh she’s genuinely black for him, hahahahah

GAMZEE: AnD AlL I EvEr bEeN TrYiN To dO Is gEt yOu rIgHt tOo, WiTh mOrAlS AnD GoOdNeSs, AlL fIlLeD uP iNsIdE yOu As TiGhT aS yOuR tAsTy HoE bAlLoOnS aRe WiTh HuMaN mOo JuIcE.

Jesus christ that’s not the kind of metaphor i want to be hearing from canon

or anyone for that matter

JANE: No! I’d rather die than touch your disgusting clown baton ever again.

....yyyeah, context is showing she’s PROBABLY super Black into this. Still, pretty jarring to see a clear consensual “NO” right in the middle of things.

Quit calling her a dairy queen!!! D: D: D:

Oh god they named the baby Tavros.

Alright, there’s some grade A discomfort in this scene, which I’m enjoying, really. I can see why they singled out page 18. I could traumatize some people with some of these paragraphs out of context.

HOO HOO HOO, THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO THE DARK CARNIVAL!!!

Eeeeuugh

JAKE: Anyway whats up with you? Hows life with davekat going? JADE: oh its great! im really glad i just went for it JADE: all of us together... it really is the best of every world

God damnit Jade why are you obliviously torturing them????????

You could’ve been REALLY GOOD for them both if you just FUCKING LISTENED TO THEM AND RESPECTED THEM INSTEAD OF SITTING ON THEM.

JADE: theres no way me and dave could have a regular baby together because im... JAKE: Whats wrong? JADE: well lets just say that after all the sburb stuff its done some things to my body JADE: like merging with bec mostly

Oh my FUCKING GOD please don’t canonize this. This didn’t need to be spelled out so-- D:

jesus

D: D: D:

This... is actually making my stomach roil again????

not because id object to-- i mean, it’s one thing to deal with

FAN SCENARIOS

ISOLATED divergences from canon where she has to deal with that and its kind of hilarious, but can be safely ignored when it comes to her character arc as a whole

but once its CANON???????? D: D: D:

suddenly you can’t IGNORE the full import when you’re done with, like, an RP or something, of the psychological struggle she would be forced to deal with given an abnormal biological situation. Instead of thinking “Oh, that could be pretty painful to deal with! Let’s explore it temporarily for fun” it becomes “Oh, that would be painful to deal with and you have to think about her having to deal with all the complications of that whenever you hear about her LITERALLY FOREVER.” D:

andrew i know you couldnt resist because of how funny and practically-xenoprogressive it was but whyyyyyyyyy did you have to canonize that WHYYYY

Now instead of a fun joke thought it also has to be SAD FOREVER

AAAAAAAA D’:

i dont know why this would be the line thats crossed to upset me

Rose surrogate?

JADE: no jake, dave wouldnt be the father in this scenario!

Pffffff. Andrew’s just diving RIGHT into the, er, doggy fanfics here. I should... TRY to lighten up about this. Try. D:

(...wait, shit. Knowing my friend, THIS whole bit is why they alluded to this page. God damnit.)

[[ EDIT: askshenhibiki said:

Now that you read Candy 18, flash back to Meat when Roxy is talking about gender... and look at Jade's reaction looking at "where her hands rest on her lap". Yes, Meat hinted at that "mix" too.

Ah, let’s see...

ROXY: and so i got to thinking ROXY: what even is gender ROXY: amirite lol? JADE: oh yeah JADE: that makes sense i guess........

Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say. But I’ll refrain from any further comment. I’m staying away from this subject, from now on.

...yeah, guess Dirk at least had the decency not to spring all that on us before Jade got the opportunity to do it honestly. ]]

Guh, back to Jake suffering in his sad, trapped scenario. I hope THAT gets at least resolved by the end of this. Someone save Jake from this, because it looks like he’s not really that capable of saving himself?

==>

Dammit, Jade, I’m cringing at these descriptions of your intrusion.

Oh wow, John went for the mustache. Guess we knew that from, like, his stuffed statue oldself?

Jade doesn’t pick up on the obvious subtext in the conversation, however, because she’s been willfully undermining the subtext in her own personal life for nearly a year now.

D: D: D:

Seriously, Jade, how is what YOU’RE doing any better than what you were frustrated at seeing THEM doing, avoiding the real feelings and truth of anything even if it was conspicuously on body-language display?

KARKAT: THE NEW ADMINISTRATION IS CRACKING DOWN ON CERTAIN KINDS OF INTERSPECIES ADOPTION LAWS.

It’s like Andrew wants us deprived of even a happy imagined future for Earth C on top of everything else!!! What the hell! >:(

Is this about politics? Is Andrew just venting his anger that the Orange Guy is going to get away with ruining everything forever?? Because as understandable as that is, he could at least give us some imaginary happyfutures to look forward to.

Reading on... Hm, yet another intentionally-misused fridging reference.

KARKAT: HIS RELATIONSHIP IS A FLAMING WRECK OF AN INTERSTELLAR WARSHIP HURTLING TOWARDS THE PLANET AT TERMINAL VELOCITY WITH THE ENTIRE CREW BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED UPON REENTRY, SHOVED STRAIGHT DOWN THE CHAGRIN TUNNEL AND THEN IMMEDIATELY SHAT OUT THE OTHER SIDE, THUS FLOODING THE ENTIRE FUCKING NEIGHBORHOOD WHEN IT CLOGS UP THE LOAD GAPER.

Yep, that triangle’s fucked. Wonder if the conversation’s going to transition to the CURRENT triangle’s problems...

...yeah, John using the R word there isn’t far from the fucking truth from the looks of things.

JADE: maybe that would work for a few days, but one thing i learned from dating around a lot in my youth is that no ones going to leave a bad relationship until its THEIR idea to leave

She takes in a shaky breath and shuts her eyes. Her hair spills around her face when she leans forward to put her chin on her knees. Dave and Karkat exchange a look that is equal parts confused, miserable, and desperate.

Oh SHIT. Is JADE going to be the one to finally vocalize about the problems here???

Something else comes hurtling out of the hole in the sky, too fast for Jade to catch. It hits the ground with a clap of green lightning. The collision sends a geyser of dirt, rock, and vapor into the air. Dave flash-steps to shield Karkat. Jade doesn’t move, taking the brunt of the explosion face on, using her abilities to warp the energy around her so that she’s a mote at the center of the storm. When the dust clears, she’s the first to jump in the crater, trailing smoke behind her.

There’s a body at the center of it. The torso is bloody, tangled, and curled into a fetal position. Its shoes are missing, but otherwise the outfit is quite familiar to her: it’s a dead ringer for her old Witch of Space uniform. Jade touches the body with the toe of her shoe, and then gasps when it rolls over to reveal its face.

JADE: its... JADE: ME???

Okay what the FUCK. It sounds like there’s going to be some context for that postscript after all. Something to bridge the gap between when that 16-yo Jade falls into the singularity and when Aradia goes off with her through a wormhole

I’m going to guess up front that this happens BEFORE the postscript... this younger version of Jade fell into the black hole and came out in THIS alternate timeline, possibly rather changed by the experience. But then again, the way the sky opened up... actually, couldn’t that be just a “natural” manifestation of the black hole abilities encouraged by Calliope or done by the singularity alone, followed by later in the Postscript this Jade actually getting control of it??

And... reading on, from the sound of it, her eyes aren’t black yet, either. Sounds like that’s to come, before the postscript. Question being, is it alt!Callie black eyes, or some black-hole-powers visual manifestation? Wait, never mind, I misread; this teenage Jade-corpse has NOT opened their eyes yet, so they couldn’t possibly tell, and the stuff about them “shaking” was about the adult Jade standing over her. Never mind. Let’s see which timeframe this Jade came from.

Also STOP TRAUMATIZING ADULT JADE ON SCREEN ITS NOT OKAY IM SICK OF IT ANDREW

==>

Page 20...

Stop letting babby not!Vriska bully babby not!Tavros.

Hm... same stupid tooth poison? No, Jade didn’t get hit with a tooth... so it’s more getting hit with shards of spacetime and spiraling down a black hole. Also whatever alt!Callie did to just barely keep her alive.

Hm, so the Heart stuff falls apart if you’re too separated from the mass-whole at Light’s center? That’s certainly a hypothesis at least.

ROXY: sounds like its time for another funeral lmao

ROXY WAKE THE FUCK UP AND STOP BEING A VAGUELY ROXY-LOOKING LMAO-ZOMBIE. WHERE THE FUCK DID REAL ROXY GO.

And where the fuck is Calliope anyway, she’s just being left in the dust and nobody’s even talked to her from the looks of it.

Hm, cut apart by political differences, this group...?

ROXY: woah ok karkat i get ur all fired up about politics and stuff but lay off gamz ok

ROXY WHO REPLACED YOUR FUCKING BRAIN WITH A BLOCK OF CHEESE

ROXY YOU’RE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER PLEASE GIVE US AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU’RE ACTING NOTHING LIKE THE COOL SMART PERSON WE READ ABOUT.

JADE: dave what the FUCK did you say to him downstairs?

Oh my god you asshole don’t blame DAVE for this >:(

ROXY: this time next week well corpse party like its the end of the world!

I don’t want to think this has anything to do with Aradia, but we DID see her in that postscript bit... And, I mean, what the hell could she even do?? It’s not like this Roxy is just Aradia in really convincing cosplay or something.

==>

She leads John and Jake into the building and down the center of the nave, humming happily to herself the entire time. An equally effusive Calliope trails behind her, carrying a bouquet of purple flowers.

Well there’s Callie. What is WITH these hypnotized motherfuckers. I need a revelation on these shenanigans STAT.

What is with people being bathed in light here?

each time we witness death, we fall in love in with the important people in oUr lives all over again.

Calliope is gazing at Roxy with glassy eyes. She sniffs as she plucks the last petal from her rose. A breeze washes through the cathedral from the crack in the door at the end of the room, brushing the petal off-course and causing it to get stuck in Roxy’s over-sprayed hair. Calliope reaches out with a visibly shaking hand to remove the plant offal, but she does not draw back. Instead, she lets her hand graze down the side of Roxy’s face and cup her cheek. Roxy puts her own hand over Callie’s and holds it.

Uhhh.... huh.

So.

If Roxy was just lying to herself, then............ WHY??????

John tilts his head and squints at the image in front of him. Hmm.

Is John realizing he’s in some sort of fanfic drawn by another character, hence all the people in serene lightbeams at tender but unjustified moments?

Everyone whips their heads around to see, of all people, Aradia hovering in the foyer

Pff

(...I hope Aradia didn’t come here, like, from the postscript. Where the “action” she talked about might have just been this corpse party. Because that would be pretty fucking lame.)

KARKAT: MAYBE FUCKING NEPETA IS ABOUT TO POUNCE FROM BEHIND THAT GROTESQUE STATUE OF THE HUMAN SUFFERER T-POSING OVER THERE.

Pfffffffffff

The description of Human Jesus we all had in our hearts, but were too afraid to voice.

Alright, now we see the body we took our eyes off of. Is it going to get back up, or did it escape earlier?

since nobody was willing to dislodge the huge, otherworldly shard from her chest

My damn god, people.

...alright finally, everyone’s talking.

JANE: Agreed. I’ve always felt that Kanaya has done an exemplary job of providing a model for compassionate, empathetic behavior, which others of her kind would do well to follow.

JANE STOP BEING A XENOPHOBIC BASTARD

CALLIOPE: please. roxy gathered yoU all here for a reason. CALLIOPE: at least listen Until the end. CALLIOPE: after that yoU can argUe all you want.

...Huh. Huuuuhh. What the fuck is all this for. Are you saying ROXY caused this? Or...?

Okay I like this reinforcement she’s making in her speech about how different changes can influence how all of this unfolds, gives me hope that maybe these two cliffhangers aren’t all we’re going to be left with and we’ll be able to at least think of an IMPLIED future different from them if we wanted to like we thought about the seemingly-infinite-possibility original ending of Homestuck that I’d rather have been stuck with than this oh god breathe boots

okay there’s the labor going into good distraction

alright corpse get back up

JADE: i am not jade.

Right, so like the black eyes in the postscript suggested this is more just a... vessel for alt!Calliope now? To give HER a future beyond the one she sacrificed for that black hole business? And between alt!Callie’s became-the-black-hole nature and Jade’s Spacey Green Sun connection that’s been singularified, she has access to cool Black Hole powers? And is gonna do cool shit with them in implied future adventures we won’t see while Aradia gleefully watches the carnage? Huh.

The congregation watches her go, but no one moves to help her, or even looks in her direction. In her wake, she leaves a primal, echoing wail.

Oh my god why wouldn’t they have just a brief discussion or something IT’S NOT THAT BAD D:

JADE: and while i cannot say the same thing for the rest of you, JADE: i, at least, am exactly where i am meant to be.

Well fuck. So she just disconfirmed this timeline as... something. Relevant, possible, I dunno.

JADE: and i have entered this body to protect your world.

Okay that’s good. So thanks to alt!Calliope these side timelines where things unfolded differently MAY be preserved. Pretty fitting given alt!Callie’s origins.

.......unless there’s some other stupid interspecies civil war threat that she’s going to be fighting too, here, when the political situation falls apart. Dammit.

==>

Terezi talk Terezi talk

-- JOHN EGBERT sent TEREZI PYROPE the photo “ghostrain.jpg” --

TEREZI: WH4T TH3 4CTU4L FUCK JOHN: it started a few days ago. the sky above the capital of the troll kingdom just cracked open and ghosts began raining down everywhere.

Oh my GOD. So alt!Callie kind of “saved” all the doomed ghosts that got swallowed up in the black hole by redirecting them all to THIS UNIVERSE and timeline???????

That’s pretty interesting! Heck my stomach’s even calming down!

they can’t even be judges! TEREZI: G4SP

Yeah that’s pretty terrible!

...yep, the resistance WOULD put him in charge. I had a feeling it may have ended up in that direction in Candy since it wasn’t in Meat.

--oh FUCK YOU Jade for splitting up what he had with Karkat before they could sort it out!!! You did the OPPOSITE OF HELP and neither of them are going to end up happy thanks to you! D:<

PFFF wow, John’s so concerned about babby not!Tavros’s living situation that he’s considering legit kidnapping. That means things must be pretty fucking bad.

--okay Calliope’s still out and about with Roxy instead of being cooped up in her room like in the other timeline, that’s good.

Pff, trying to redeem Ghost Eridan in front of Ghost Feferi. Yep, that’s Gamzee.

GAMZEE: fIrSt, A LiTtLe RiGhTeOuS sPlAsH oF tHe NaNnA nEcTaR tO cLeAnSe ThAt DaNkNeSs FrOm YoUr SoUlS...

Gamzee takes out a baby bottle and flicks it, covering them both with little drops of milk, as clergy does with holy water. He then takes a swig from the bottle himself before returning it to his codpiece.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

I don’t want to believe that what’s in that bottle is what he’s making it sound like it is, but OF COURSE it is. Why would it be anything else. I bet there’s not even any Lifey hypnosis going on, it’s just the literal stuff.

The crowd falls silent as they raise their heads to watch a drone ship pass by overhead.

Jegus fuck stop going whole hog condesce janey

ROXY: lmao you worry too much ROXY: janeys got her head on straight shell show you yet

ROXY. WHERE DID YOUR BRAIN GO. I MISS IT. YOUR BRAIN WAS THE BEST FUCKING PART OF YOU.

Touching photo.

Alright lemme post split. I haven’t gotten as far as the last post plowed through since I’ve been typing so much... ah well.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #Upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

26 notes · View notes

stan-and-the-newbie · 6 years

Text

A kpop newbie’s reaction to MAMAMOO

Alexa: bold

Alex: italic

today you’ll react to Mamamoo even though you technically already know them

i mean, i don't know all that much about them, really. so this should still be interesting

well, as before, first thing that comes to mind

should i do the top one or

they’re in the same order. we love consistent queens.

hmm... wheein? then uhhh, s-solar..? then moonbyul and of course my queen.

did you guess them or. you got two of them right !!

i did in fact guess them. oh. fuck it, i'll take it

hwasa and solar, m-my baby. the first one is moonbyul and the third one is wheein

i figured

and apparently this is their formation in every group photo ever

oh, good to know

so, the first one is moonbyul. how old do you think she is and what’s her personality

she's 23 or 24, and she's a lovable goofball

is she a singer or the rapper

f uc k uhhhuuhhhhh singer

smol baby child. yeah, she's born in 1992, so she's around that age in this photo i think. i’m not sure when it was released. she's the rapper in the group, so her image on stage is cool

i knew it was either her or solar, smh. i remember it distinctively from that height song.

but irl she's greasy and flirts with everyone, tomboy-ish and probably gay idk

alright, so she's the cool one

yeah, she's also the tallest, staying proud at 165 cm

that image was misleading smh. she looks like a silly nerd in it/ are you trying to sabotage my score, miss <-<

i mean, she Is a silly nerd. she usually makes lives with solar and flirts with her all the time and gets herself some slaps on the arm. and she gay panics on stage every time hwasa is in her close vicinity. and she's known for having heart eyes every time a girl talks and she's also the Girl Crush of the entire industry lmao

first we had heart smile now we have heart eyes soon enough you'll be describing a monster from soma. a walking blob made of exposed, beating hearts.

oH SHUT UP

*then i showed him the Wonderful Confession Immortal Songs performance*

that middle aged lady fangirling after hwasa goes "look at me now" lmfao

sadfrghgfdsDFGHJK ME.

this is fokin great. i just got to the rap part. fam they're genuinely talented don't @ me

mamamoo are known for making every show their concert lmao

pff. it do be like that, and i wouldn't have it any other way. a bunch of girl dancers suddenly appeared and i thought my vision was going blurry and i was seeing double. anyway, the rap works surprisingly well, considering the general tone of the song.

moonbyul also has two tattoos. i don’t know what one of them says, i think its just her family portrait.

w h o l e s o m e

but the other one says “N'oublie pas de t'aimer”

alrighty my grill next up is your bias

give her an age

i'll say 24. and she's a singer

she is 27 :)

oof, can you really blame me tho

i can’t. she has an actual baby face. what’s her personality?

i imagine she's sweet and soft, but can be jokingly sassy and teases the others sometimes

oof, she wishes. she’s the oldest, and the leader, but the other members always bulli her. she’s the mom friend though, and the best at english, even tho her english isn’t all that good anyway sdfghds. and shes a complete goofball

awh ;; is she the short one, then?

nop, shes the second tallest

wait hold up how can the leader be the one who gets bullied this doesn't add up

*then i showed him this marvellous video*

2 seconds in and i've seen enough

*then i showed him the Passion Flower Immortal Songs performance*

solar doesn't have any tattoo but she's scared of bugs so there's that

wholesome. she's a quality idol i like her. this song is dope yo.

the one wearing a hat there is wheein

the wheeout puns are overwhelming ngl

,,,,,,,,,,they fucking are. once u wheein u cant wheeout. she's the same age as hwasa, but a few months older, so hwasa is considered the actual "maknae" (which means youngest member

that much i know. mainly because i googled it a while ago

and here's wheein with short hair cuz fuck yeah

whats her personality?

she's uhh the Short One (tm)

yes, that too. she is Evil

idk, she seems like a sassy singer, but that's just a shallow impression. does she tease the other members a lot, or.. <<

tbh, she is pretty sassy. she's also very carefree and a derp. but she does tease the other members a lot and laughs when something funny and unfortunate happens to them. she's been friends with hwasa since middle school, and they have a couple tattoo

ooh, noice

on their ankle, they both have "resonance"

i've seen a picture of that somewhere, if i recall..

she has two other tattoos. one she drew herself, and one that says "la vie est courte l'art est long"

what's with the french affiliation. should i be learning french instead of korean?

probably.

*i showed him that infamous “mamamoo sold their friendship for ice cream” video*

"hyejin-ah, you know your thighs are the size of your face, right?" i told you, wheein is evil

c r i t i c a l h i t

hwasa :) what do you think her personality is like lmao

she's the serious one (sarcastic humor <<3), the lead rapper but also sings (i noticed this by watching some performances)(edited)i also know that she cooks for them, so extra mom friend points there and she's very independent, but also warm

omf u really are whipped for her

<-<;;;

apparently she really likes beyonce, so some fans call her ahn-yance

yep, shes also a big rihanna fan, and work is her hoe anthem

that's dumb, on one hand because it kinda sounds like "annoyance", and on the other because bey-ahn-ce is a much better pun. i would perform umbrella for her like tom holland, don't @ me

oh, also, hwasa has four tattoos. the "resonance" one, one on the back of her neck, with "maria", her christian name, cuz she is Holy

oh shiet. that name fits her well actually ;;

one on her arm saying “Paradise is where you are”

if she's in your immediate vicinity, then obviously

and one right above that one, that’s a triquetra

mamamoo are well known in korea, and most of their fans are girls!! i think theyre the group that appeals the most to girls there actually

oh, that's interesting

and here are some songs

*i showed him “Words don’t come easy”*

this is what we call s m o o t h g u i t a r. and that sexy sax, oh boye (and here is where alex’s inner Shiverbert Creepstein came out, god bless, the only writer i stan) this one's really nice, i'd love to listen to it in a cafe. there's this really nice mental image that you'll never achieve, but it's nice to think of anyway. just sitting alone in the corner of a dimly-lit cafe, watching the performers on the stage sing as you down another shot, people taking quick glances in your direction and wondering what it is you're thinking about, when in fact you're just listening to the music mix in with the raindrops hitting against the windows. i got carried away, oof

o damn, mister shiverbert

<-< hey, nobody clapped

its a nice lil image, though

anyway, that was a great song

*and here i showed him “Decalcomanie”*

oh, this one's more i n t e n s e. the translated lyrics without any rhyme sound like some sort of strange poem

i know;;

noh-noh is apparently knock knock. the vocals are fokin great

:(((((( stop slandering them, theyre trying

i'm not roasting them, i just find it cute ;;that was a nice song. in fact- (he pinned it)

so, last thoughts on mamamoo?

god bless them best kpop idols out there hwasa please sit on my face

amazing

ayy, that was this week’s reaction!! alex was actually more excited this time because it’s his ultimate bias’ band

there are some things i (alexa, cuz alex never edits these posts) didn’t mention, im sorry if i missed anything important;; i decided to focus more on what alex thinks and says this time, rather than ramble about stuff y’all already know

i hope y’all enjoyed this reaction and if you want, you can leave suggestions!! buh-bye~ ^ω^

10 notes · View notes

acupofcoffeepart2 · 2 years

Text

sooooo i wrote all this out to post on my main blog and got too embarrassed to post it since its pretty much almost all kpop but this is me talking about every song in my top 25 of spotify wrapped

for some context on certain things i talk about in this, i somehow get away with listening to music for 8 hrs straight while im at work and alot of time ill put songs i like on repeat for... probably longer than i normally would just bc im at work and i just dont notice. also very common for me to put energetic/dance songs on repeat. anyway wrapped said i had 76,324 mins of listening time soooo i was like yeah that checks out

25. Diamonds + and pearls - dpr live

This song made me listen to this entire album and the reason I checked out shang chi the other day even tho I don't fuck w marvel and this and the other song on this list wasn't even in the movie! Sad! ..any way good hype song!

24. D.d.d - the boyz

D.d.d still slaps in 2021! This is the song that made me start paying attention to Jacob bc I thought he was so cute when I watched the dance practice at the beginning of the year after learning the members and now he is best boy 💛

23. paranoia - kang daniel

Good song, I watch the mv a lot too

22. Nomad - zion.t , gen hoshino

I thought for sure this was going to be in my top ten. Obligatory, "I love this song!"

21. Nerves - dpr ian

Have listened to this album a lot but found it through this song

20. Back 2 u - the boyz

One of their best b sides! Became very apparent when I binged through their entire discography early this yr

19. nothing on me - kai

😳😳😳🥴🥴🥴🥴 anyway I adore this hoe anthem album

18. Summer tights - dpr live

So surprised this isn't in my top ten but I guess I've only been listening to it since this summer I love this song

17. Asap - stayc

This and another song coming up I consider to be the best kpop songs to come out this yr and can't explain what makes them so special bc idk anything about music but I get so damn excited when asap comes on shuffle. Ive been really enjoying their music since they debuted. ASAP!!

16. The stealer - the boyz

I don't know where the stealer ranks on my list of tbz title tracks but I think a reason I love it so much is bc I can bullshit my way through a lot of the lyrics lol

15. Magic - Tomorrow x together

Everybody! clap your hands if you've got a broken heart just take a chance

14. antidote - kang daniel

I apparently need to check out more of him since I got 2 of the 3 songs I know of him here

13. Ugly dance - Onf

This is the other song I was referring to as one of the best from this year. I don't know why! It just is :) I adore their music so much. And their newest album slaps btw! Please stan onf 😭

12. Thrill ride - the boyz

I had no idea I was going to love this song as much as I do now. It is so catchy and i just get so happy when i listen to it and I watched every single music stage they did for this and I'm a fuking loser

11. Revolving - yung bae, marc e. Bassy

When this showed up I was like "what...who?" I don't remember listening to this much. Must have had a day at work where I listened to this for an abnormally long time

10. Wannabe - golden child

Still listening to this...Its so funny I only know like 5 other golcha songs. Even funnier thing,! The rtk ver of wannabe is also in my top 100 lmao I think its bc when that kakao m drama happened the original song got taken off but not that one and thus got replaced for the like week...until it came back..

9. Get it out - apoki

Yeah little bunny girl! The song slaps thats it

8. Don't fight the feeling - Exo

Suprising... this is probably a case of me putting it on repeat at work until I'm like "hmm..tired of this song" but 3 hrs have passed. It's a good song but I like runaway off this album more.

7. Levitating - Dua Lipa

Classic energetic repeat work song!

6. Save - nct 127

They may have been replaced by the boyz this yr but I still love nct 😤 came out in the 1st half of the yr as a single and is very repeatable

5. Blue hour - Tomorrow x together

Me catching up w txt this summer bc I havnt kept up w them since their debut but seeing this yeonjun in his black cowboy outfit and pink mullet everywhere finally made me take the plunge to do it. I can't tell u how many times I've watched the mv and as far as im aware there's no track that includes the dance break and how fucked up is that? This songs amazing what the fuck

4. All good - Astro

My happy happy happy time song, much needed at work. Have I ever heard a happier song in my life? Of course astro suits this song so much theyre crazy. Every time it comes on shuffle like no question its going on repeat for at least half an hr. If your going to listen to one song on this list pls let it be this one

3. Fight! - aests

Classic energetic repeat work song!

I imagine dance battles in my head when I listen to it. Any song that can help me day dream a little while I work will be on for a while. also, I was mainly listening to this at the being of the yr

2. rain on me - gaga and ariana

CERWS( classic energetic repeat work song)! Was also another song I was listening nonstop at work at the beginning of the yr. Idk what to say... It's a good song!

1. Summer time - the boyz

A lot to unpack with this one! Ok so I happened to learn maybe half way through the yr that this is my most played song on spoitfy of all time...WIG! So theyve really became my favorite bg this year and when i listened to the dreamlike album back in feb? Summertime immediately stood out. I havnt in the slightest gotten tired of this song. I am a shy person but you could probably catch me humming or maybe even singing this at work. Happy dreamy song this might be my favorite album from them too. Also would like to say here 24 of their songs made it into my top 100 but ya know that just makes sense given I exposed myself to their entire discography back in jan-feb. I l🤡ve them.

0 notes

mingi-bubu · 4 years

Text

Watch “Youth With You” with Me!

Episode 8 Part 1

alright alright alright we are back with episode 8!!

i think this episode is going to be an eliminations one so thats gonna be so fun (:

i have my water, i have my m&ms, my phone is plugged in

OH WAIT IS THIS WHEN ONE OF THEM LEAVES DURING TRAINING???

F U C K THIS’LL HURT LADS

i s2g if that was mingze who was briefly shown leaving i will riot

chen tao is adorable fight me

why is youwei going to make me cry before the show even officially begins hhhh

yao chi’s writing is literally incomprehensible to me even without me being illiterate in chinese

oh so theyre just going to throw in mr. tyger like that as if im going to be emotionally okay

oh fuck dont show me the hot pot moments

alkdsjfsld huaiwei and guan yue are so cute together

i am literally tearing up right now i hate this so much

yixing stunting on them hoes

YIXING LLIASLKDFJASDKJFPAWOIE BITCH IM SCREAMING

HE JUST SAID THAT THEY ALL REMIND HIM OF KINDERGARTNERS BECAUSE THEYRE ALL IN WHITE LORD I AM BEING S E N T

ok i mightve misunderstood what he said or it was mistranslated???

i must hit that mf rewind button

ok so the subs say “each of you is basically younger five to ten years old” ???

im trying to think about how that would work in english hold on

god it would be helpful if i recognized anything lkasdfjlskd

maybe something like “it makes me think of you all as five to ten years younger”?

someone who knows chinese please help

shenshen looks really good and so does huaiwei *heart emojis*

ok something is deffo off with the translator machine they use

bc jiayi said he wouldnt be born yet

and hes a 98 liner

god i wish tiana was watching unine’s run so i could ask kajdfklasdj

his hair is RED?????

SIR

yixing is having fun tho

he has the joy of a mischief maker in his eyes

dork

tfw you make fun of the trainees and they start talking amongst themselves about how old they would be and you hear someone shout he wouldnt even be born yet

i have literally no idea why the camera quality looks like it was taken with a videocorder rather than an actual filming camera but it certainly is interesting

guan yue for the first time for me

*john mulaney could be a nursery voice* looks kinda sorta hot

MINGMING IS CUUUUTEEEEE

HIS LIL UNEVEN SMILE IM IN LOVE *buries my head in my hoodie*

mommmm immm innnn llloooovvvvvveeee

linmo dark hair again *eyes emoji*

omg six of my boyyysss

hanhan what the fck is that headband im screamign

akdsjflkas why was chen sijian clapping like that afkasjd

ok: fourth task time

theme evaluation

literally guan yue popped off and all hes doing is sitting there wearing white

ugh

MINGMING RED HIGHLIGHTS OH MY GOD UGH THE STYLISTS’ MINDS

@ YMM PLEASE BRING THIS BACK

i hate that whenever yixing does something he smiles like this: :3c

kjfadsf;lkasd hanhan says something quietly to yangyang and IMMEDIATELY yixing says his name adkjfslkd

i love to see it

aldkfjasd called him out im deceased

HUAIWEI BEST BOY AKDSJFSLKAD

“A COLD AND COOL MAN” I SAID BITCH WHERE

HUAIWEI’S LAUGH

I AM FORCIBLY REMINDED THAT THEY ARE ROOMMATES ALDFALSKDJFKEW

YOUWEI DRAGGING HIMMMMM

ME *HANDSHAKE EMOJI* YOUWEI

ASKING WENHAN IF HE KNOWS WHAT A “COLD AND COOL MAN” IS

wenhan: *glares for 0.003 seconds*

also wenhan: *ears and face red and immediately cracks into a smile*

yixing is having too much fun with this akldfk

shiyuan hello :D

anyway back to business

five different songs in five different styles

mingze red highlights too...? *eyes emoji*

yixing was expecting more of a reaction probably and the boys just sit there like “hmmm interesting,,,five songs”

MINGZE KDJSFALKDSJFALKSDJ HIS REACTION IS SO OVERRR IM

someone said “too many” fuudsfoijajdsoiffuck man

yixing cutiepie!~

im seeing more exo lay than zhang yixing pd right now

*flashes back to the crabs*

definitely more exo lay than yixing pd right now

JALKDSJF HUAIWEI “WAOOOH!”

akdjfkdsl he’s telling hanyu to change his respoin

hold on hanyu dimples??? what the fFICK

SHENSHEN SMILEY BOYYYY IM NOT CRYING

not to be all i love lian huaiwei and his nose and 3/4 profile is so cute but i love lian huaiwei and his nose and 3/4 profile is so cute

MINMGING CROOKED SMILE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

i love how hanyu is showing his surprise and shock by simply yeeting his head up and trying to stretch out his neck adkfjlsdk

wenxuan said HELL YEAH BABY

god lhw is so pretty i would give him all the stars if i could

awww guan yue is so embarrassed at huaiwei saying he’s perfect for <maze>

ok but literally guan yue wakes up and looks like that everyday???? jealous

shi zhan: oh so im not cute then?

shi mingze: no youre naughty and the theme doesnt fit you

shi zhan: >:’(

awww guan yue is so cuteeee

hes like i pretty please want this song >:3c

shenshen deadass said that this other song that was being shown is an “improved version of <retreat>”

jiayi *pleading emoji*

HELL YEAH FUCK GUYS ITS THE REBUILD STAGE IM SCREAMING

MINGMING LOOKED SO GOOD IN THIS STAGE I TALK ABOIUT IT ALL THE TIME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MINGZE’S FACE AT SEEING REBIUOLDAJFDLKAJDSFJ

SORRY IM JSUT SO EXCITED ITS LIKE IN MY TOP 5 STAGES AKSDLFJLSKD

MR LI WENHAN I AM LOOKING RESPECTFULLY

MINGMING IS DEFFO HERE FOR HIS MOMENT IN THIS SONG AND I KNOW IT UGHH

MR YAO MINGMING PUT THAT TONGUE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

also while i was watching this yixing’s mv for <莲 lit> came out and it was a fucking cinematic experience go watch it now if you havent yet please

YAO CHI !!! APPEARED!!!

and wang jiayi in bucket hat T.T

jiayi has orangey hair

they really arent going to translate wjy’s name in to english huh

gonna keep it as the characters eh?

i really hope that huaiwei and guan yue can share a stage together

damn yixing really do be pausing dont he

ahhhh the youth pd have decided for them much like with the girls

why does hu wenxuan literally have the best facial expressions ever

alkdfjalks yixing sweetie you didnt have to drag the poor trainee when introducing him

not to be all hanhan’s lil rabbit teef but hanhan’s lil rabbit teef

alksdjfalskdjfaklsdjf hes so prettyyy

he opened the envelope the wrong way around im

everyone is laughing

why am i always fucking sucked into weiwei’s eyes

hes so dumb i love him adklfjaslkdj

yangyang,,,,sweetie,,,wh...why did you need to run

asdfkaksdjflk;asdjfkasd

im so dead at hanhan’s face when yangyang knocks on the door

i deadass forgot that yangyang is in the rebuild stage

damn hanhan is really hoping for his tarzan lineup again

XIXI!!! I LOVE HIM IN THIS STAGE OH M Y GOD IVE HAD MANY THOTS ABOUT HIS OUTFIT AND HIS STAGE PRESENCE

chen tao, jiayi, and weiwei are all in the same stage i love

xixi literally dropped hanhan to the ground like a bag of rocks goddamn

the rituals are intimate i know they’re intimate

why do they put xixi in foundation thats like several shades lighter than what he actually is

wenhan: this is the first time for me and jiayi to be in different stages :’(

changxi: *thinking back to their very first public stage when he asked him not to separate him and jiayi* hmmm unfortunate

xixi also has good faces adlkfjals

MINGMING <33333

WANG ZHE I

longhanniieeeee

oh so yixing really is going there back to the beginning eh??

longhan: o.o’

i love that he looks over to the directors and cameramen like “plz help me”

adjklfajsdlkfj longhan is literally just saying anything that will get him out of the situation as fast as possible

he keeps bowing im innnn loovvvveee

he apologized at the end im *smooches him on the cheek*

i dont need a man with braincells he just needs to be pretty

*slurps*

i love huaiwei lil squeaky laugh

HUAIWEI IS WITH JIAYI AND WEIWEI AND WENXUANNIE??? I AM ASCENDING

shenshen!!

he’s such a trickster i love him so much

boyfriends~

aww him and mingming sharing gum

WHAT

WHY WAS THAT SIJIAN’S FIRST GO TO POSE IM SCREAMING

xu longhan is noodle boy im deeply in love with my little dragon

shi zhan’s glasses make him look like a grandmother i

weiwei is having too much fun with this

AAAHHHHH HE REALLY DO BE SAYING THINGS WHEN HE DOESNT HTINK ANYONE IS THER

CHEN YOUWEI KING OF FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

HAHADKJFLASKDJ;A

i know ive said it before but i love that the commercials are in chinese like its really fun bc they used to be in english

seeing huaiwei try to act tough as if he is not baby

alksdfjalskd everyone is bullying him esp weiwei

wenxuan is just sitting back, enjoying the show

xu longhan has the only braincell in that room

aksdfjlaksd they really are going to have that funny pose

i take it back there are no braincells

longhan is bullying them akdlfjasdlkj

yao chiiii

he run :D

PINK SHIRTS

top 35 get to stay this round and the others leave halfway through training

hmm i hate to see it

i really want to give yao chi a hug hes really stressing about this one :(

HE HAS AN ELMO STICKER IM T.T

yao chi really do be practicing a lot

they played like a clip from my fsoat (favorite stage of all time) and i still got shivers hanyu really do have that power

junjie reminds me of sb19 sejun

why does minghao look like a construction worker

oh wang jiayi is here too!

hanyu was v nervous :(((

rebiulda dflkasjdfiwe

mingze is so pretty

mingming complaining about other members??? who arent listening to him about choreography?? ugh i love to see it when he looks upset

damn if looks could kill bo yuan and shenshen wouldve been dead on the floor instantly

tongue

:((( invisible mingming sweetieee

adkjfa;lsdkaaaaahhhhhhhhh kou cong really is confused he really didnt hear it

mingze is That Best Friend i LOVE to see it

boyfriends~

god i really hate how obvious the product sponsorship is like it pulls me out of the moment hhhh

c’est la vie

adfjalskdjf yangyang’s laugh is sending meeee

GUI ZE

aksdlfjals;dkjf xixi jsut got his revenge for the fire stage

“angel han”??? this is the first time im seeing him be called that wtf

oh my god i keep pausing to talk about yixings new mv and we’re only 33 minutes in hhhhhhhh

YAAAAASSS MC JIN AND AFTER JOURNY MY FAVORITE DUO

longhannie!!!

im love his smileee

SHAO HAOFAN OOOHHHHH

oops ye ziming in fake glasses makes me UwU

like he looks like a professor but like a hot one you know?? like the history prof that everyone wants to take a class with not bc its interesting but bc he rolls his sleeves up and wears dark slacks

that was highly specific do not look at me

wasn’t he in the last alliance thing that was formed??? mans needs to chill

arm

i am looking respectfully mr ye

li you looks like he gives good hugs like he just gives off that vibe

i say as he talks about how three of the higher ranking group members can’t dance for shit

i only really care for 2, maybe 3/4 of the dachang out man alliance

shf reminds me of a puppy

arms

jiayi’s hair looks SO GOOD

HUAIWEI BALCK AHARI I

NEED AMINUTE IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE HE’S HAD IT

i-a smooch him on the-a face

LKFJASLKDFJASDK

THEY’RE MEME-ING

someone on the editing team had vine i swear to god

wenxuan’s hair literally looks like he stepped out of 2008

no thoughts head empty

sure do wonder what the colorful script on the other 2/5 of the screen are saying (:

damn my man is on every little detail o.o’

love to see it ;)

youwei literally losing his shit i

huaiwei freckles???

jiayi really just goes around looking like that daily and we all unanimously decided that no other man exists didnt we

wenxuan looks really good even with the bucket hat on

WEIWEI NEW HARI

also its very sweet that lrh treated them to food

ofc the remaining mr. tyger group members would stand next to each other T.T

jolin is so pretty

why does minghao give off scuh fuckboy energy right now

awww guan yue!!!

he’s so cuteee

minghao is not good at hiding his amusement

awww their ending poses are adorable

i just wanna pinch all of their cheeks

alkfdjasldkjf jolin correcting minghao i love to see it

i like that jolin wants to talk with them about the pressure they’re feeling given the whole leaving mid-training thing

hmm perhaps i will cry during this part

the urge to give all of these boys a hug is stronger than ever

wow their talk really brought the vibe down fast

yao bolan is pretty tho even when talking about something this sad

oh???? we really are just gonna leap into the rankings right now??bitch they thought

its midnight thirty and im tired so im going to end it here before the rankings

i will pick up tomorrow with the rest of the episode!

thank you for reading!!!!

stay safe and stay healthy <3333

#unine's run #youth with you #ywy #cpop #idol producer #e8 p1 #jae.txt #jae.wwm

0 notes

survivorazores · 7 years

Text

Ep. 10- “time to start some... evasive maneuvers? ”- Will

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163965402088/individual-immunity-1

OUR ASSES DIDN'T GET MICE AND MEN'D BLESS

I'm not a fan of Michael's message. Francie said in an alliance chat that she thinks it was her who he was talking about because she responded to him with one word messages. Not really knowing that it was a bad thing. The dense comment was unnecessary.

I'M SO SHOOKETH!!! I truly thought that this was my last tribal!!! And I didn't get a vote??? I was so paranoid. And now??? I??? Am still here??? A blessing. Everything is fine and all I have to deal with now is Michael! And he's already digging his grave by being rude, inactive, and shady a lot! I'm so happy! I'm hoping touchy subjects doesn't ruin shit for me. We shall see! I'm very excited for this comp, if I'm being quite honest! I am just too excited for everything I guess. Now that I survived a tribal I most definitely did not think I was going to survive, I am alive, awake, alert, enthusiastic *clap*

I can't believe that no one is taking what Michael and Gwen said to heart though... It's true and people should recognize it but they're not jndfkjsnfk but I love it like that so YAY! Wow. I'm happy.

Touchy Subjects didn't just blow up my game last time, it obliterated any chance of me making it without individual immunity. This better go the way I want it to, and I better not be ruining my game by putting myself into an all girls (minus me) alliance right now... time to start some... evasive maneuvers? I guess?

So I'm ready to do a long confessional I'm super happy I made the merge and jury! That was my first goal and in a season like this where everyone is atleast active I was nervous if I ever was gonna make so I'm shooketh I'm here, but the thing is like I think I'm playing a really good social game, I'm close with Michael he spills the tea and I'm close with emily where she spills me tea and amanda Lynn like she's a nice person. But this GIRL is a mess express she has over 12+ alliances and is in everyone's ear like can we vote her off? I don't want too right now tho because she has my back and she's a shield for me so we'll see what happens when challenge results come, will is pissing me off saying that Nayeli vote was "my idea" bitch please don't put it on me, you hoe but for real will is a threat, Francie is a threat too like the girl is not even in anyone's radar YET SHE BLINDSIDED GWEN. I'm done also who tf is Bryce?

I just really hope my game doesn't get blown up while I'm away over the next few days, like I'm missing tribal tomorrow night and missing the challenge and the next tribal that's... scary and not fun ugh. We'll see what I can do though maybe I can make it work but I just really hope this doesn't cause me to flop

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/163992885023/individual-immunity-1-results

Emily told me that my name was being thrown around, which makes me really nervous. Good thing I have Mr. Espirito Idol to help me out if I get in a doozy. That was earlier, though, now everyone is saying they want Michael out and that's what I wanted to do last night. He's not good for my game or Emily's game, but I'm so happy she has immunity tonight. That girl deserves it.

Okay but I am literally such a bad bitch that I don't talk to these people at all, but I'm hated by everyone. I am LIVING for this.

Honestly if I'm not casted for a heroes vs villians twist then like?????

http://youtu.be/gGTiyQVramg (I'm typing another actually well thought out confessional, this was just my immediate reaction LOL)

So everyone wants to vote Michael which is great because it isn't me, but also isn't great because I need to see someone in the majority go home - not necessarily someone from my alliance but like... someone with power. And I think Amanda G is that person I'm very sure she's in an alliance with Emily and some combination of other people, and I think I could maneuver things to take her out. I have a plan that involves telling Ruthie about my fake merge idol, giving it to her to give to Michael so that 1) he trusts her and 2) he can flash it to make everyone think he's going to play an idol so that they split the votes between him and someone else (maybe Bryce? Mo?) and then we get a majority of 5 (me, Ali, Ruthie, Michael) to vote out Amanda G it would be crazy but... I really have no idea if it's worth it right now or if it's the right time or what's gonna happen. I could even potentially not vote for Amanda G and get the votes split so it's only three for Michael, four for Amanda G, and four for whoever they decide to split the votes between... this math is getting complicated but I really think I could work this out right here and right now. If there was ever a time to cause chaos it would be in this moment.

ALSO why was I voted most oblvious?? THESE 👏🏼 PEOPLE 👏🏼 AINT 👏🏼 SLICK👏🏼 THEY 👏🏼 ALL 👏🏼 A 👏🏼 BUNCH 👏🏼 OF 👏🏼 SOGGY 👏🏼 PRETZEL 👏🏼 STICKS 👏🏼 I know everything going on this game. I am a WOKE EVIL QUEEN 💖👑 CROWN ME BISH!!!!

*goes to tree mail* *finds idol*

I GOT VOTED THE HERO IM SO HAPPY BUT I ALSO GOT THE BIGGEST GOAT WHich kinda sucks and is making me rethink my game, I also got best social game so that's nice I think? I don't know if that'll make me a threat or not. I don't know, I'm happy for the hero thing but sad about being the goat.

I have no idea what's happening AH that makes me wonder if it's me. . . . I'm hoping for Michael though.

https://youtu.be/GZWT2YJ7gHM have yet another outdoor, 10 minute, lowkey a mess video confessional

Guess who's a flop? Me. I didn't add everything I could've to that vid confessional. What I forgot to mention was that Amanda G and I were talking earlier about Touchy Subjects before the results came out and then she asked me who I trusted and I told her I really trusted Emily. I told her the truth, I really trust Emily, but there's also more people that I trust but wasn't going to tell her because I didn't want to reveal all my ties, etc. While I was writing this I talked to her some more. She asked who I was considering for tribal and I told her Michael and said she was too. I think I can trust her word, or at least I hope so.

Okay so I think the vote is gonna be Michael. I told Amanda Lynn that I didn't find the idol and she said that she didn't make it past the word search which is a lie according to Emily so that's iconic. Will said he didn't get it but lowkey he did.. Mo wants to work with me and said he trusts me the most and honestly I'm just like SAME. I am trying to decide if I should tell him about my alliance with Amanda G and Emily or not. On one hand I want to let him know things because it can strengthen our bond, on the other hand he could be playing me or not even playing me but still leak it and that could be bad! I am also talking to Ali T but it's so hard because he speaks in like buzzwords; plus he once said mommy and I still think about that in an unsettling way. Also I got voted that I wasn't playing the game and I think it's because I find it so scary and hard to talk game with all these people. What if I get exposed?? I want to set something up with Mo and Francie but I am afraid Francie would tell Emily and then that'd be awkward. Like I'm understanding of Amanda G or Emily having alliances but I don't think they'd feel the same way. Also Amanda G not telling me about the idol clue because she thought I was too good at puzzles is slightly annoying but I don't know if I would have finished in time even if I knew sooner. Also still trying to get Will to trust me, I feel like I am putting in so much effort to get him to want to be a close ally and then he gives me nothing in return?? Anyway long confessional but this has helped me think things through so hopefully after this vote I can be more comfortable. P.S. Girls outnumbering boys is iconic!!

The duck is still in my room and I keep thinking about what's gonna happen elimination wise and what order it will happen in the game

i didnt get anything bad or really anything at all in touchy subjects so thats cool! The girls alliance + will is off the ground and it seems to be working ok! Michael is hopefully gonna go next and I've been talking to Ruthie a lot more. Shes sucha sweetheart i love her!

Now that I'm immune, I think today is the day I work on my resume and chill out. After making a "big move" with Nayeli's idol and THEN voting out Gwen, I've created an enemy with Michael and PROBABLY Ali! This boy tells me that he trusts me 110% then goes around talking with Michael and planning to vote me out! I'm immune this round hunties get off me!!! Focus on... I don't know who else they should focus on because I'm apparently running the game. Thanks Touchy Subjects! But honestly Touchy Subjects was so much fun djsfkadslf So Amanda Lynn is telling me that Ali, Michael, and she (Using that FreeRice grammar? Idek know if it's right I'm keeping it because it sounds funny.) are talking about my tribal. Michael is CONVINCED I knew Toph before this game which is SUCH bullshit!!! I honestly feel attacked that he feels this strongly about it. Also, he's just rude. I don't understand why he's gotta be rude! Not cute! But my absolute favorite thing about this is that he thinks that in Toph's goodbye message, Toph said, "I love you RUTHIE." R U T H I E!!! I'm DEAD! He completely forgot that it was Amanda G oh HONEY this is iconic.

But I'm so happy pretty much everyone is on board with voting Michael! Amanda G, Amanda Lynn, Francie, Abbey, and Will are all confirmed voting Michael and I can get Bryce on our side. If Michael is going after Ruthie, then Ruthie will vote Michael. And Mo will just vote with majority. This is beautiful.

Thinking back to Touchy Subjects, I'm very honored people think I'm running the game. Iconic. And some of the last few tribals have proved that theory? I had a hand in every tribal I attended (Which was only three... But let's ignore that.) and I think that'll be good for my resume. I'm excited to see how these Touchy Subjects results influence my game... Hopefully in a positive way? But the things that I won were all things that put massive targets on my back. Best edgic? Who is actually controlling the game? Who is playing too hard for their own good (Also, how did Will get that too? What?)?

OKAY WHEW I haven't done a proper confessional in a long time so I think it's time. So much has happened since the short round with the Gwen vote, so I think I'm just gonna go person by person and talk about everything that way. First, I want to start with Touchy Subjects... because WHEW. Okay so I was given the following: Who is playing too hard for their own good? Who needs to be exposed as a snake or a rat? Who thinks they are running the game? Who will win if they get to the end? Who would you trust with your life? That's the most answers I've received in a single Touchy Subjects to date! It's very nerve-wracking bc..... They think I'm gonna win? They think I'm a rat? And they all trust me? What? I've gotta tread very carefully. I'm really hoping to go to the end with the Gal Pals, so I'm trying to laugh it all off with them. Okay so let's start with (hopefully) tonight's boot - Michael. So I don't really have much to say about him because he's like... hardly here... Honestly. He's around to like, talk bout how everyone hates him and maybe rally some votes to vote Ruthie (Not happening) and then he's nowhere to be seen so... I'm playing it off that I want him to stay (which is mainly for Ali's benefit), but tbh, he can go. So let's move on to Michael's BFF, Ali. Okay so Ali is a very nice guy, and I genuinely like him as a person. But as a player? He's VERY needy. He's constantly asking if his name is going around and he doesn't want to vote Michael, but he will go where they votes are, and he wants Emily out but we can't be she's immune so he wants Ruthie out bc that's what Michael said, blah blah. I feel bad lying to him, I genuinely like him. But this is what's better for my game. He caught wind that Michael is probably going home, so I'm trying to play it off like, Oh no, we gotta fix this, but like.... nah I'm good with it. Next is Mo, who was attached to my hip on Espirito, always asking me what to do, what to say, how to vote... and now that we merge, he hardly talks to me. lol. I see you, bud. Next is Bryce... who.... is complicated lol. We talk about non-game things all the time, and always just casually bring up like, "Oh yeah, this is who people are voting for." So like... I guess its okay? I just want him gone asap, but if mine and Abbey's plan works, its gonna be at least another round before we can get him out. I'll get to that later. So this whole game I've tried to talk to Amanda G and its just... hard to hold a conversation. But she comes to me out of the blue like, "Hey we haven't talked. What's up?" Then we talk casually and then all of a sudden she says, "Yeah so this is who I wanna vote for, but I'll do whatever." THIS GIRL HRJWEDS I'm yelling, she's so funny. I'm forgetting someone....who is it.. who...is... it.... Oh yes, Ruthie. HGRJFDSK I feel so bad but I always forget Ruthie. I don't have much to say about her.. I try to keep our line of communication open, but that's the extent of our relationship. So then we have Will, who I've wanted to work with but haven't had the chance until now. He wanted to form an alliance with the Gal Pals (not that he knows that that is a thing but anyway). So we have the Sleeping Nerds, and it's good for now. Abbey told me that Will has the merge idol, so that's good to know. He and I talked quite a bit last night and I like him a lot. I feel okay working with him right now. We have similar interests, gamewise, so he's a good ally to have for the moment. But I don't want him around too long. If anyone can overthrow the Gal Pals, it will be him, and we can't have that. I'll get to that in a minute. So I'm just gonna talk about all the Gal Pals at once. Abbey is still my closest ally and best friend, but we are trying to hard to not allude to it, especially to Emily and Francie. If they catch wind that we are more loyal to each other than we are to them, they will vote me out in a heartbeat. Abbey and I want to go to f4 with them, so our loyalty to them is genuine, but they need to believe that it's an even loyalty across the alliance.. if that makes sense. I dont have much to say about them tbh. We are all generally on the same page and want the same targets and we always report back to each other. I trust them all. So this confessional is super long and I do have more to say but I need a break, lol. I'll come back to this later and finish and talk about mine and Abbey's plan, but for now I will leave you with these four words: All. Female. Final. Six.

I'm getting really nervous about this tribal council it's like wow, no one is really talking to me maybe this is a simple vote agaisnt michale but I know this game and I'm getting nervous it's me because nothing is easy in survivor, I also feel like emily is not talking too much with me even though I told her I close I am with her so idk what's gonna happen, these people wanna play safe but I know that may be an act, all I know is that people want Michael out and I'm okay with t I guess, and I swear amanda Lynn is a snake troughout one minute she's like "we gotta listen to Michael" and the next minute she's like "I wanna play safe" make up your mind girl, I also love Bryce idk much about mo and Ruthie I feel like they're floaters and Francie is this girl is a amazing game player!! But if I go tonight I'm not leaving without a fight

https://survivorazores.tumblr.com/post/164040117653/tribal-council-10

Playing too hard too fast was my downfall ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i Think I stayed that would be my downfall in an earlier confession. Also making a premade of toph and Emily upset was an issue as well

Michael’s last words to the tribe chat and in-game behavior resulted in his removal from the jury

#imthegreatergood #episodes

1 note · View note

androgynousranchathleteoper-blog · 6 years

Text

You’re So Vain You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

I can’t tell you what a nuisance it is being a person who is in constant need of assurance. This blog and its mere existence is proof of my utter self absorption and indeed self deprecation (because balance is important). Pre historically there has been some poor decision making on my part when it comes to choosing someone to bump nasties with. Without going into too much detail, because I am zen af, my last boyfriend was the devil incarnate. Despite being forwarned about his less than desirable behaviours and some very bold warning signs, I ignored the advice of EVERYBODY IN HUMAN EXISTENCE and went out with him for three years. You can imagine my surprise when it inevitably didn’t work out. It was a terrible relationship, however, I have taken a lot away from it. Most importantly that my judgment cannot be trusted. Unfortunately my people reading skills have not improved over the years. When there is a willy involved all I see is sunshine and happiness while my friends and family watch on in horror as I climb into to bed with Jack the Ripper. So how does one tackle such a problem. Well I’ll tell ya… You run absolutely fucking everything by your friends and you listen to them. Remember your friends are the ones who know you and love you all the same. Your friends are your friends for a reason. Don’t ever forget why your friends love you and want you in their life. With that In mind this entry has been lovingly co-written, unknowingly, by one of my best friends. The text in bold are his text messages to me throughout a very brief encounter with a very unpleasant man. His responses are to the screenshots of the conversations between me and the gentleman in question. It really highlights how utterly useless I am but also how wonderful it is to have people in your life who care so much about your happiness and really make you laugh. The story, as always, begins with I met this guy… (Never a good start) through Tinder (also not good: side note this was months ago and I’ve actually now liberated myself from the hoe app - I have got enough material from those three months to last me a lifetime). Anywho, as with having a type and sticking to it (because that’s done me so many favours), it came as no surprise to me that we have friends in common. Natural instinct in these situations sends you digging. I ask one of the mutual friends for a brief Curriculum Vitae of the dude, the first thing she says is “he’s really into choking girls” I am screaming laughing actual speechless. This all sounds very alarming but in context it’s fine however I must say that I really find it rather amusing that this should be the first words to describe someone. I would hate to be so known for a sexual act that it defined me. “Oh aye I know Rab she likes masturbating then crying herself to sleep.” No thanks. Anyway I immediately tell my friend this because it’s a hilarious piece of info and we henceforth go on to then affectionately nickname the guy Bible John and that his what he is referred to as, even to this day and probable eternity. “Rab you and this guy fascinates me. 50 shades of Bae. A want screenshots of this weirdo you’ve been texting” Admittedly in the initial days of this fleeting romance i’m pretty uninterested. I am at a strange point in life during the summer where I am on a voyage of self discovery and don’t really think I’m ready to be in a relationship again (another side note it’s winter now so form an orderly queue boys). “Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, Rab, why did you give him you number?” My early findings are that this guy is a bit much. It’s all too fast too soon. I’m a bit of a slow burner these days. There’s no skipping off into the sunset after a few dates with me. It’s a well thought out process that involves a council of men and women. “You’re playing with fire… Mrs Hudson” Anyway we go on a date. I am hungover and about half an hour late. In fact lets just say Im actually still a bit drunk. I am definitely still drunk. “He will want you to dress up as Zelda or something and clap him like a dug” So I turn up late and drunk. This was my life in summer. It’s what’s affectionately referred to as a ‘kitchen floor reset’ I thoroughly recommend it. “Rab man I don’t think you should be telling me that… Who was it? Please tell me it was Bible John?” There’s some choice language I pick up. I gather this person doesn’t approve of what I call “Hooring and Touring”. That’s a process that works in tandem with the kitchen floor reset. Again I thoroughly recommend it. It’s character building. “Whit wiz mad Ian Huntley saying when you met him?“ Anyway that’s fine it’s not for everyone. It is for me & im completely unapologetic about it. It makes me no less faithful and much more seasoned. “I think he is a dick, you are just in heat atm. You’re having a Britney moment.” Don’t get me wrong I don’t go around introducing myself as a hoe. I’m not that. What I mean is that I don’t pretend that I’m just some poor gal who can’t find the right guy and is miserably searching the universe for someone who can accept my weirdness. Poor me, no. All I’m saying is sometimes you just want rattled and that is totally fine. Just go get rattled get it out your system. I am open and honest about it because that is who I am. “You gonny let him strangle you ya mad psycho. Don’t say you’re in his dungeon.” It is so so so so so so important to me that I do not allow myself to be quashed by another relationship. The worst thing you can do is succumb to someone who doesn’t believe in you and all that you are. It’s such a waste of the person that you’ve worked so hard to become. “Shut the actual fuck up. Why do you attract all the weirdos?” Unfortunately I find that a lot easier said than done. I’m all about reflection so I do always take responsibility for myself and my actions I very rarely point the finger at people. I’m more likely to look at my own failings and maybe what I could have done differently. That all said I am still just a lass and quite a sensitive lass so when someone is mean to me I do feel hurt. “Rab he is actually gonny kill you.” After a few more meetings It becomes pretty clear that we are not compatible for several reasons. He begins to say unkind things to me. They are not just mean but they are unfounded. Now an ordinary person would just walk away from a situation like that. Not me. It’s perplexing especially because, I believe, I am regarded amongst my friends as quite a strong woman but in situations like this I cave in on myself. “Rab why are you even texting that cunt back.” I am strong… I can have an argument. I can even win an argument. I am opinionated and I feel like sometimes people don’t speak up enough. So I make a point of speaking up when something isn’t right. I’m not scared to ruffle feathers in fact I have been known to enjoy it. “Who does he think he is, your husband/da?!” Inexplicably this character completely diminishes in a romantic scenario. I don’t know if that’s some sort of PTSD shit or if I am just a spineless cunt when it comes to walking away from something that isn’t right. “No fucking way man, no bother mate. Get him slung Rab.” So yeah he is mean. Really mean. I find myself apologising for being me. This is actually a little bit sad. It reminds me that I’ve not perhaps come as far as I thought I had from that previous relationship where I swore I wouldn’t find myself lost in a sea of fuckery again. But here I am - surfing! “AW MY FUCKING GOD. YOU NEED TO GET HIM TO FUCK.” I still try to fix the situation. I am a fixer. I can fix this. “That’s heavy reverse psychology Rab. Whoever you are with next needs to let you be you and I seriously don’t think he will.” My fixing fails. The whole thing fails. Because fixing it would mean not being me. I find some of the things said so hurtful that I even cry. Tragic. This is probably the first time I’ve ever felt a bit damaged. “Tell me you didn’t take that serious Rab, fuck sake man the guy is off his nut” I then find myself questioning all sorts of ridiculously stupid trivial things about my life and wondering if maybe he is right. “Tell Bible John to get to fuck. Canny handle the Rab. ” I have got an Achilles heel or so it seems. I felt so affected by some of the things he said even though 99.9% of it was utter pish. What’s even more remarkable is that I took it. “Right can we just get Bible John patched I am worried you’re taking his opinion on board an no being Rab and that’s no right” After the dust settles and it’s all said and done. I am in process of picking up the pieces and I meet two of my good friends. I begin to tell them the story of Bible John and I have a full scale mental breakdown in the pub. Sobbing into my prosseco. Also tragic but slightly funny. “Right naw - that’s it done. Done done done.” But it’s good. I am not crying over him. He is obviously an arsehole. I am crying because I am sad that I allowed myself to get involved with someone like that. I am crying because I thought that after everything I had been through previously I would be stronger. I am crying because that person embodies everything I want to avoid. I am crying in Wetherspoons. This must be rock bottom I think. “OOOOOOft what an absolute cunt! Don’t let him get to you mate. Look at you now, happy as fuck and shagging away” I am kind of glad this all happened. The psychoanalysis side of this story leads me to believe that I hadn’t fully dealt with the end of my last relationship and the circumstances surrounding it. There was no crying though there ought to have been. I was just so completely exhausted by it all that I didn’t really process all the shit that had happened while we were together. I just went on my merry way happy to be free. Bible John helped me remember that I am only human and that sometimes to move on in life you need to allow yourself to be vulnerable and let it all out. “He doesn’t deserve you.” Since the mental breakdown I am actual happy as fuck. So I thoroughly recommend doing that also. I almost immediately erase all trace of Bible John because I do not give a single fuck about him and life is great… Until… “AW GOD NAW RAB WHITS HAPPENED” I go out with my two friends that I cried in Wetherspoons with. I’m as gay as a daffodil and absolutely loving life back on the sesh. The following morning we are in our hotel and I am hungover af but otherwise perky. “Mate… Whit happened” I’m having a pee and pondering life. Something I believe a lot of people do on the toilet. It’s gid. “Omg…” I have this absolutely horrid feeling in my tummy. I have just had a coil fitted some few weeks earlier so I wonder if it ’s just having a wee dance up there in my womb. How annoying I was thinking. Stupid fucking woman parts. “Mate……. Whit the fuck” The pain intensifies to a odd unfamiliar feeling I have never felt before. Now I’m thinking whit the fuck am I about to give birth… GIVE BIRTH ON THE FUCKING TOILET “NAW RAB ….. NAW?!” A few moments pass. Something is definitely travelling through my baby tunnel at an alarming rate. Then something comes out and lands with a thud in the toilet. “………………….” In this moment… This real character defining moment. I am 100% convinced that I’m about to turn round and see a foetus. “Please tell me it wasn’t…. Was it?” I am pleading with myself “Please don’t have just squeezed a foetus out in a hotel bathroom hungover” I take my time considering my options here. Is this actually my life.

Why the cunt never bothered to tell me that that had happened I will never know or understand but that really was the icing on the fucking cake of a shitty experience. (Side note went to see the sexual health nurse and I’m sound. Think an STD would of pushed me over the cliff edge.)

“The film ‘Shame’ is about you.”

For comic relief I took a photo. If I ever write a book it shall be on the cover.

Fuck my life. Fuck Bible John. He still follows me on Instagram. Smh.

Goodbye forever.

0 notes

shxt-real · 7 years

Text

The Real Housewives Of Atlanta | Season 9 Episode 12

Starting the episode off with Kenya and Pheadra in a camping store because apparently the ladies are going on a "Glamping" tip, whatever that means. And im still not sure why Kenya and Pheadra are still pretending to like each other but what i do know is that Pheadra needs to STOP telling Porsha's business to Kenya. Along with Kenya acting like she never did anything to Porsha to cause her to act the way she does towards her. This season literally started off with Kenya insulting Porsha's FLAWLESS natural face. During this scene we get a cut scene to Porsha in her anger management appointment, Now when he was talking to her he used the word "Bully". I don't think that these women are bullying Porsha i think that they just wanna make sure that she's 100% good and not popping off on anyone at any giving moment but like i said before every action has a reaction and the only person that really seems to be questioning Porsha is Kenya who has provoked he on multiple occasions.

Next Scene, we have Cynthia and Matt....

WHY IS CYNTHIA TALKING TO MATT?

Can somebody please explain this scene to me, Yes You are older and somewhat wiser but Ma'am you're going through a D I V O R C E! Who relationship you trying to fix. Cynthia is one of my faves but i think that this is one she should have sat out just because o her situation. While Matt did admit to smashing Kenya's windows "CLAP CLAP BRAVO" He's still saying that he loves Kenya and wants to Marry her. This is where i throw down my red flag, if you have something going on within yourself you shouldn't be taking that out on someone you claim to love an damaging their property like Kenya said in a previous episode you keep apologizing for breaking things but its not always gonna be glass it might be "Kenya i'm sorry for beating your ass." i don't really think that this conversation helped at all but we'll see where this goes because we now know that Kenya and Matt aren't together and he has a new girlfriend so...

We have Kandi throwing Shamea a surprise all white engagement party, i personally think that Porsha should have been throwing this event since Shamea is her best friend but that's just me. Now apparently everyone that was invite got the ALL WHITE memo but the women with the Peaches, because they came in there in whatever they wanted to wear and Kandi just looking at them with that face like "you hoes knew the theme." AND WHO INVITED MARLO?! Still trying to wrap my head around when her and Sheree became so close but that a palm tree for another day. Porsha not attending the event to me was complete and utter BS she had her best friend sitting up there crying when she should have been enjoying her party. Nobody should have gotten in the middle of you being there for your friend of 19+ years, its very heartbreaking that she let Kandi prevent her from being there. Now here comes Miss Messy Boots, Sheree telling Shamea that Porsha didn't defend her when Pheadra called her all types of Husband F***ers. Yes Porsha should have spoken up on that subject but for Sheree to bring that up at her ENGAGEMENT party was tasteless as hell.

Miss Twirl,done pulled up to Cynthia's lake house with her dogs. Friends or not I feel like its extremely nasty to have your dogs revealing themselves all over someones yard without permission with permission all that. And then Kenya hadn't even rang the doorbell to let Cynthia know she was outside Cynthia saw the puppies from her window just dropping loads.

Here's where this scene gets S T U P I D

Cynthia brings out her note pad with her notes she had taken when she spoke to Matt earlier in the episode, She explains to Kenya what Matt had to say about their relationship and before Cynthia can finish her sentence Kenya starts throwing a tantrum. Just overreacting like the Drama Queen she is. Cynthia listen to me this is a SIGN to get out of this "Friendship"

We Finally see Porsha and She's at Shamea's house. Shamea has every right to be upset with Porsha and she was right when she told her that what she and Kandi had going on shouldn't have prevented her from coming to celebrate her. She even told her as much as she doesn't like Pheadra she would have been there to support her if Pheadra through Porsha an event. Shamea also bought up what Sheree said about how Porsha didn't defend her at lunch. Porsha was really sitting there with a blank face like she didnt recall what happened but she knows she swiveled her straw in her drink and act like Pheadra wasn't outta line

Its the day of the "Glamping" Trip

Still a stupid name but then again this is RHOA, There's two meet up spots. Sheree's House and Kenya's house. THEY LIVE DOWN THE STREET FROM ONE ANOTHER. Why couldn't there have been just one meet up spot? Anyway, Cynthia arrives at Kenya's house she brings up the argument that took place at her house. We switch over to Sheree's house and a car pulls into her driveway... WHY IS MARLO HERE AGAIN?! She doesn't have a peach i just don't see a reason for her to be there but that's just me if you like it i love it honey. While Marlo isn't dressed for a camping trip she does look good I'll give her that. We switch back over to Kenya's house and Pheadra arrives. Fishy but that's actually none of my business. Porsha and her Sister, Lauren arrives at Sheree's house. You see this back and forth you can just image how the editing went it was too much. Porsha pulls Sheree to the side, she asks her about the whole Shamea thing and Sheree lets her know look we told Pheadra what Shamea said its only right that i told her what Pheadra said.... M E S S Y. For once i agree with Sheree, everyone needs to stop talking about each other behind their backs or she shouldn't have to be Eye Witness News and report back to everyone. We're back at Kenya's house now and Kenya shows up with her friend Hazel, trying to figure out where the plus ones came from but you know that's how these women work. Pheadra throws some shade that we'll get into in the next episode because it'll make more sense.

Bus arrives at Kenya's House everyone packs into the bus, Porsha, Lauren and Sheree almost got caught being nosy while they were skipping down to Kenya's house. again still don't understand why there was two pick up spots. The Bus gets to Sheree's house the remaining ladies pack in the bus. Pheadra let the ladies know the agenda for the night, the bus is full of S H A D E hunty. Cynthia asks why Lauren was in attendance and Porsha pulls out a doctors note from her Anger Management Coach, Pheadra reads the letter and it basically says that he recommends that she had a support system with her on the trip so in case somebody does pop off on her she has someone to talk to and keep her calm. Everyone jumps on Porsha....

HERE WE GO.....

This episode honestly gave me a headache i think that Kenya needs to worry about herself and them spray painted cameras at her house and leave Porsha alone before she drag her again. Cynthia needs to end things with Kenya. Kandi is doing fine. Pheadra might have hands coming towards her next week but we don't know yet. Sheree needs to mind her business and stop being a reporter and Leave Marlo at home...

That's it for this episode of Real Housewives of ATL

Lysha Maurice Out

#Real Housewives of ATL #Bravo #Kandi Burass #Bedroom Kandi #Sheree Whickfield #She by Shree #Andy Cohen #Kenya Moore #Moore Manner #Pheadra Parks #Porsha Williams #Watch What Happens Live #Sunday #Reality TV #ATL #Cynthia Bailey

0 notes