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newtness532 · 1 year

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im feeling too much

#i just havent slept well and im really stressed about the exams and im supposed to get my period tomorrow which is very inconvenient timing #and i just feel like crying. i have things i need to do but cant get myself to do them. (tumblr keeps crashing?).#i feel like im faking everything. like what if ive just convinced myself that im not cis and straight but its all fake?#im also a terrible person. i mean im just selfish and i make everyone's life difficult #and i really dont want to go back to being on my own all the time #anyway just ignore me please #sorry for being so blue ill get better soon #thanks for coming to this venting session lol #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

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sketchy-tour · 5 months

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These were meant to be warmups. ANYWHO!

Went to a random palette site and picked ones that were reminiscent of Wally's colors but still very different that I liked and grabbed some outfits to do a sort of challenge for myself. Idk, thought it would help me out of my funk.

Suffice to say, I'm feeling a bit better now~ These were really fun to do!!!

#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #wally darling #welcome home arg #WH Wally #welcome home wally #wally darling fanart #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet arg #my art #Waaawwwyyy in a dreessss #Drawing the man to heal my soul #The top one feels so different from what I'm used to!!#Im usually so set on keeping my art soft but man doing something like this was kinda fun!!!#SHOUT OUT TO THEKNIFECLOWN for letting me steal their fit for the second piece!!!!!#limited colors also meant Wallys stuck with blue eyelids but ngl I find the blue so cute. A part of Wally's beta design I really really lik #Anyway its 5am and shoulda been in bed...AGES ago!!!#enjoy enjoy #sidenote please ignore that i just drew the same expression twice fjsjkdd god I didnt even REALIZE!!!!!

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treasureplcnet · 7 months

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inverness here they come!!!!

#ignoring canon. does everyone know that esther forces her way back into his life even in a world where they don't have to meet #and then they just ditch london and live an oddly quiet life until the end of the war in scotland. they told me that.#more than anything in the world i am always thinking of the incredible force that these two are and how determined they are to survive #please see: esther genuinely trying to shoot him (makes me laugh everytime i see it) and the way karl blends himself into every scenario #not above lying not above running away just trying to get by. 'i treat others the way they treat me'. distrustful by default #and finally the only reason these two stop kicking and clawing is the budding family they accidentally form #AND THEN THE LAST 20 MINUTES OF EP4 HAPPENS.#ep8 gives me a semblance of peace. theyre in inverness to ME.#i do also rly adore their twin rbf. at any given moment they look as though theyre chatting shit (they are)#AND the gun thing is so funny. the gun fails and instead of giving up esther just tries to shoot him again LLOOOLLLL #no thoughts towards the consequences and with no experience with guns as well. she's literally goated #jacob fortune lloyd's interview on this and his thoughts on their relationship also makes me a tiny bit sick so .#anyways. WATCH BODIES #karl weissman #esther jankovsky #bodies netflix #my art #bodies 2023

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parkercore-69 · 6 months

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troy and abed in the morning !!

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sneez · 2 months

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conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body!#anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

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thetriangletattoo · 4 months

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grocery shopping

#flo’s sketchbook #i just thought of them cooking said groceries and now i want to make that ugh #they were supposed to be in the subway i had a whole ass background #too bad i didnt like it in the end #so i was like what if i just ignore the background and i don’t give the #don’t give them* one #but then it just seemed wrong so #here we are at a crosswalk waiting for the green light #it seems stupid now lmao #anyway enjoy please do tell me what you think about it if you want #and no i have no idea how light works yes i will learn at some point no i don’t know when #flo draws

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rottmnt-residuum · 1 year

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part 7

remember not to ever talk to cops if you get arrested, everyone! envoke your rights and shut the fuck up! don’t make the same mistakes as moi (✿ -- ‿ -- )

⇇ | ⇽ | index | ⇾

#rottmnt #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt rapheal #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt residuum comic #residuum #c #g #you know what takes me the longest to do? the dialogue #oh god i am dying #i had to crunch time this one #so ignore continuity errors please ahaha #just to be clear i have never been arrested #it was an illegal arrest anyway #ehehehehehh karma hit those cops hard #did you know that rise actually has john bishop appear in the movie?#i didn't :D

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mxmarsbars · 8 days

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double life but instead of being soulbound you’re forced to take care of a kid together like a school project (sorry if this is cringe)

character design is HARD anyways she’s a horse girl and a smart cookie and you can probably guess who her “parents” are … she’s also supposed to be like ten sorry I can’t draw little kids very well :,))

I made a lil world building thread on my twitter alt as well so if you’re curious about all that you can check it out there !! (@/clockduo) :D

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cloudysarts · 4 months

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this show would be good if literally everything about it was different

#read these tags please(unless ur an HH fan in which case please ignore them) >>> I DO NOT LIKE THIS SHOW #i hate viv///ziepop so fucking much its actually unreal. every time i think about her i seethe #been hatewatching it ('legally') nd its awful. like i mean i knew it would be going into it but goddamn. so much worse than i expected #you may be like 'whyd you draw this then'. i wanted to make a finished piece with my redesigns #for funsies me and my boyf have been rewriting/redesigning the whole show . thats been our fun little craft #i feel similar about this that i do about fnaf and miraculous ladybug even tho this is objectively worse in every way #theres this eternal feeling of like. man. if the writers were competent then this concept would be interesting #but theyre not so. here we are #anyway. im gona try not to put hate in the tags lol #but i like how this turned out too much NOT to post it #anyways mutuals please dont unfollow me for this i promise im normal JDSFHJKDFHJDFKHJK #Hazbin Hotel Redesigns #Hazbin Hotel Critical #Angel Dust #Husk #Huskerdust #I guess.#genuinely a little scared to post this ones. im scared ill lose mutuals over this AND/OR fans will harass me for those tags JHKSDFHJKJK #im posting it and then immediately going to sleep. might delete later if even 1 thing goes wrong #EDIT RL QUICK i wanna add: i dont care if you like the show <33 good for you!!! i respect it!! i liked it when i was 14. i just dont now. <

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medicalunprofessional · 6 months

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the phoenix

#psychonauts #boyd cooper #the milkman #nightmaretheater #MAY BE EXTREMELY CRUSTY…!.!.!.!.!.! WARNING FOR COMPRESSION ASSASSINATION #i really dont cwre if thus gets compressed as hell….. what else can i do about it..?#anyways…….. coughs.. this somehow took me only 8 hours time??#i feel crazy. they are right <-just drew ohhh soo many papers #i think people neglect all the angel imagery involvign the milkman. Like. It was presumed dead(youknow?)#Ignore the funky colors. i was feeling hologra #Actually. No. I like the funky colors.Get so real #Some things might be a bit less detailed because i wanted to focus on bigger shapes as opposed to intricate detail #also the perspective is a little weird…Thats fine #Please dont look too hard at some of the hands they are a bit weird #<-good thing that the compression will hide that from you. devious laughter #grins…really proud of this

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newtness532 · 2 years

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stayed for 5 minutes alone with my thoughts and my mood got immediately ruined

#not that it was the best #but it was better than other days #and if i cant stand me how will other people? i mean if i cant hang out with me why would my friends?#anyway just ignore me please #its just one of those days when you feel like everyone hates you and everything you do is wrong and that you should stay forever alone in #your room and never talk to anyone but everyone has those days so its okay right?#anyway im fine and definitely not crying while unraveling my yarn and listening to sad songs #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

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themyscirah · 11 days

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Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

#its like youre unable to root for her in any form. which is annoying bc shes actually awesome actually #also having her say “actually im the good guy fuck you'' w/o any actual deep analysis of her psyche or whatever while doing these things #doesnt count as development or showing shes 3 dimensional. its just having 2 dimensional waller say shes right when everyone is obviously #supposed to believe shes wrong #anyways i want real waller back please i miss herrrrrrrr #anyways hope mr john ridley has read secret origins no 14. i know its from 1987 but please guys please. my only hope #also it was a few months ago but i think they tried to push certain elements of a diff backstory in dream team and sorry but fuck that. and #any mention of another waller background like my eyes are closed sry. im a preboot truther #actually im just ignorant of most squad comics outside the original series. im gonna do a readthrough and become knowledgeable on other #stuff i just need to find time. so if im wrong then sorry if its smth factual and if you disagree with my opinion then uh sorry for ur loss #anyways shoutout to the time i had a nerd night w my one friend and she was asking me abt dc and said my favorite villains and i said waller #and silver swan. and she had a “yuck WHY” to waller and a ???? to silver swan. love shouting out my faves and explaining them to the less #informed. didnt say a number 3 but would probably be parallax ig. idk hes kind of slay. or maybe someone else honestly i like hal but waller #and nessie are blorbo level for me i could think abt them for hours #or maybe it wouldnt be parallax actually idk who my 3 would be. hes definitely up there but way below the other 2. maybe the cheetah #interpretation that i personally have. v different from the popular cheetah interpretation esp rucka vers actually. much closer to the pérez #and esp develops some subtext there surrounding barbara and the exploitation and theft of sacred cultural artifacts and pieces but also #like british colonization a lil bit #but i actually despise the cheetah that lives in my head but think shed be interesting to use narratively and see diana fight #vs the other guys who i find interesting and sympathetic and like for themselves #whereas my fave interpretation of cheetah can rot in hell #i got off topic here #blah #swishy rant #also disclaimer that w the main character ik dreamer is the main character of dream team. im talking more in general and that amanda should #always have a huge role as shes the main character of the squad and yet is treated like its villain and not its protag #sui sq

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lameow-l · 5 months

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GAMING IS MY SON AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM AND THEN MYSELF!!

LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE

i still have hope in getting the other boys too

its ok they can be a band or smth.. at least then gaming wouldn’t have to be so disappointed in people not hiring him bc he’s just having fun with his boys…

#it took me soooo long to realize his name can also be 'gaming' and idk if i should be ashamed or proud lol #his hashtag is gonna get real funny real quick #is it actually an intentional business decision made by hyv #no way this was accidental #anyway im disappointed in his hair design but i stopped feeling much since all genshin charas always have the ugliest hairstyles #also him being another bennett just not as unlucky #he works so hard and still tries to achieve his artistic dream at the same time #but people just smile and ignore him…PAY THE DUDE!!!#ALSO ALSO.. chiaki 2.0 and they better add all other ryuseitai next #i just can get over how energetic and cool genshin concept designs are when the game keeps slapping us with a downgraded version every time #not to say current designs aren’t energetic or cool.. just not as much lol (still salty about red xiao and those flying nahidas)#now i know why they still not doing an art book yet.. they’re ashamed to admit of the amounts of good designs they never use #AND I LOVE GENSHIN DESIGNS honest (otherwise why would i keep doing fanart of this game and this game only for 3 years)#sorry i dont post all of them.... i have issues #but i cant help but feel robbed when i see these designs knowing what they could’ve been #and it’s in no way hyv’s fault *glance at leakers* and the new designs are getting crazier and cooler but #please for the love of god hyv stop with the mullets PLEASE!!!#gaming #ga-ming #gaming genshin #genshin impact

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wakeupandchooseviolets · 27 days

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Obsession

I'm not a complicated woman, I swear.

I'm so boring.

I'm quiet. I live alone. I drink decaf. I file my taxes in January. I majored in art history.

I crochet, goddammit! I crochet cardigans, the most boring kind of sweater! And then I wear them! Like Mister Rogers, aka the plainest person to ever exist.

No one could possibly suspect how deeply weird I am.

I've been perfect. I've never left a browser history. I've never worn blue and red together. I've kept myself as trim as my mom's genes let me. No one's ever caught me watching the movie.

You know... the movie?

You know the movie.

Well, I mean, I guess it's "movies" now, but... I know which one left a violet stain on my soul.

You can't blame me.

Well... you certainly can't, anyway.

If you were me, maxed out on good karma, toeing every line you've ever met, perfectly alone in all the universe... what would you have done differently? What other choice was there?

Never mind how I got the chance. As soon as I found out about it, there was nothing else I could do. Everything I thought I knew about myself fell away. All the safe choices and good behavior just gone, poof, like they never existed. This is my fate, it was made for me.

I was always going to be the one chewing this stick of gum.

In the end, it was like they wanted me to find it.

Dodging through an unlocked door, stealing through low-lit corridors, drawn to it like the heartbeat of the universe.

It's so silly. I know it is. Some stray neutrino passed through my brain as a child, and I watched the wrong movie, and I twisted into whatever it is that I am. All I've wanted is to become something else, and that something is big, and round, and draped in the shreds of the last clothes she'll ever wear.

That last part is really important for reasons I just can't explain. All that matters is that I literally get too big for my britches. I just need to hear that little "pop". That's it.

I can never seem to imagine past that. Regardless, I'm putting the gum to my lips, completely, defiantly unaware of how this will end. It's on my tongue, and the flavor is unreal. I guess they didn't bother with the roast beef or anything. It's just violently fruity. Juicy, and warm, and way too sweet.

A door creaks open. I was so sure I wouldn't be found, but joke's on them. It's too late.

It's a mousy woman woman with huge glasses, wearing a lab coat. She peeks around the door before she enters, like she doesn't want to offend me.

"Oh-" she says.

"Um," I say around a mouthful of juice. "I-"

And then I think, hey, wait, I've made my choice. It doesn't matter how this ends! What's she going to do, save me? I'm in control here! Kind of!

"... um." I say again. Actually, it's hard to talk. I'm swallowing a lot of juice.

She steps all the way into the room.

"Uh, hi," she says, fiddling with her glasses. She looks at me, and then down at her clipboard, and then back to me. "Are you-"

"I'm not spitting it out," I say, before gulping down another burst of juice. I'm starting to feel kinda bloated.

"No, I mean. Um," she says, "sorry, I'm new here, um."

I'm tired of my mouth working so hard, so I make a show of swallowing the gum.

"Oh!" she says, "that was fast," and she makes some sort of mark on her clipboard.

What.

"Um, could you follow me this way, please?" she asks, gesturing toward another door I hadn't noticed. One of those big ones like they have on loading docks that roll upward.

"What?" I ask, reflexively.

She walks over and pushes a big red button on the wall. The door starts lifting.

"Oh, sorry, we can wait if you want," she says, "you'll fit, don't worry."

I start to have a thought, but then my stomach gurgles and I feel like I'm on an elevator going down. I clutch my sides and double over, but... it's getting hard to bend.

"Don't worry," she says again, "it just feels weird, but you'll be okay."

The thought comes back. Someone was expecting this. They're prepared for this.

I look back at the pedestal the gum was resting on. It's already been replaced with another piece.

The worst feeling in the world is thinking you're making a defiant last stand, only to find out that the hill you chose to die on was ready-made for your dramatic exit, and that you'll be asked to leave through the gift shop and pay way too much for the photos they take of you. You know, figuratively.

I have to do something they won't see coming.

I turn around and lunge for the new piece of gum. Or, at least, I try to lunge, but my thighs are filling up and it's getting difficult to move dramatically. Still, I grab it and cram it in my mouth. Might as well be a brat.

"Oh!" she chirps again, and makes another mark on her clipboard. "Wow! So-"

God, I'm feeling so full. I can feel every inch of my clothes pulling taut against my skin. I gave in to temptation and wore a blue top, blue jeans, and a red belt. I couldn't help myself. Now, that belt is starting to dig in, trying to squeeze me in half.

I swallow the new gum, too, and look down at myself. I'm getting pretty big, bulging out around the belt. My shirt is riding up, exposing my swelling blue belly to the cool air. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her make another mark.

I try to touch my growing midsection, but it's getting hard to move my arms. They're filling up too. I feel warm all over now.

"You're blowing up so fast!" she says.

She opens her mouth to say something else, and that's when my belt snaps apart. My equator surges outward, jiggling and sloshing from the violent release.

It feels so, so strange, becoming something completely alien to what you use to be.

That said, it also feels amazing. Swelling bigger and bigger with gushing blueberry juice, bursting out of- wait.

I'm still growing, but besides the belt, everything's still on.

I try to look down again, but all I can see is the blue horizon of my belly. I flap my hands in frustration.

The lady speaks up again. "Since you're likely unable to move by yourself now, may I have your permission to roll you?"

"Um," I say, trying to think. I'm freaking out a little right now. "Uh."

I need this. It's all I've ever really needed. I just need need need to blow up and burst out of my clothes, that's it, and who cares what happens to the blueberry that used to be me.

All I need is to burst one little button and I'm done. I'll have won. Good day, miss.

The problems is, I'm perfectly round now, and my jeans are so, so tight but haven't so much as snapped a stray thread.

"Miss?" she says, "may I roll you away?"

I try to think of something to say, just to stall for a little more time. I'm so close, so so close.

Instead, I break down.

"Please," I beg her, "I'm going to lose my mind if I can't pop this button."

"Hey-" she starts, but I'm in a full-on panic right now.

"I have to, I have to, I don't know if I'll ever get another chance to be a blueberry, and like what if you roll me away and I never get juiced and I'm just stuck like this forever which would be hot but still or like what if this is as big as I can get and it's just impossible like what the fuck who even makes clothes that fit spherical women I knew I should have worn the red ones-"

"-but-"

"And I know what you're thinking! She broke the rules, it doesn't matter what she wants, she's just a blueberry now, blueberries don't want things, they're not even people! She had her chance and she blew it except she couldn't even blow it-"

"Miss! Please," she snaps, and she walks over, reaches up, and pinches my lips closed.

We lock eyes, because where else can I look, and for a moment, I just cry silent blue tears down my puffy cheeks, pouting all the while.

Then she smiles, and says, "I'm a trained professional, Miss. I can help you with that." She lets go, brushes her frizzy hair out of her eyes, and disappears behind me.

I feel her warm little hands on either side of me, like she's trying to give me a weird hug. Then I feel her squeeze into me. It feels startling, she must be way stronger than she looks. The pressure builds more and more, and I can hear her making an adorable little straining noise.

Then, there's a pop, and immediately a sense of relief. I hear a little zipping noise as the fly on my jeans explodes open. I gasp at the sensation.

Finally.

I give a little shudder, releasing the tension I hadn't realized was building the whole time. How Freudian of me, I guess. The oral stage ain't got nothing on this.

"Now then," she says, appearing in front of me again, smiling wider, making yet another mark. "May I please roll you away, Miss?"

#blueberry inflation #my words #blueberry expansion #copping to some deep autism here but don't mind me #maybe if i write enough i'll understand myself lol doubt it though #anyway good riddance and hope y'all enjoy #also please ignore any typos or plot holes or whatever #just had to get this one out #body inflation #body expansion #i guess this is as close as i want to get to a factory tour story

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crowskullls · 4 months

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Minute said “I am not your puppet.” In his SMP civilization video and I ran with it.

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wildbasil · 1 month

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group therapy (they make each other worse)

#gwyn ap nudd #edern ap nudd #blodeuwedd #arthuriana #mabinogion #pa gur #medieval literature #welsh mythology #artists on tumblr #digital art #alcohol cw #art tag #------------------------------------------------------------#just as i don't think owain ap nudd exists i think gwyn godyfrion is gwyn ap gudd 😌#ok hear me out though #there are lots of gwyns in medieval welsh literature and i don't think they're all gwyn ap nudd (sadly)#but my man gwyn godyfrion. look. “dyfr” means water. like in the word dyfriog (watery). and gwyn ap nudd is very much associated with water #rides the watery horse du y moroedd. has a little chat with gwyddno garanhir who's the ruler of a kingdom that gets flooded.#dormach's funny flipper legs. rival gwythyr is associated with fire.#and there's the idea that annwn (of which gwyn ap nudd is the ruler) is itself underwater. and so on and so forth #sims-williams (‘the early welsh arthurian poems’ in arthur of the welsh. 1991) suggests godyfrion as a place name. underwater maybe.#so if gwyn godyfrion is “gwyn from under the water” i don't think it's unreasonable to suggest he's in some way connected to gwyn ap nudd #“but dizzy!! gwyn godyfrion is mentioned alongside gwyn ap nudd in culhwch and olwen!” the answer is that i simply choose to ignore that #while we're on the topic. the ddylad in creiddylad = flood #ok class dismissed #anyway gwyn and creiddylad i am pleased to tell you that my irl name means “sea” 😌 i am one of you

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