#anyway it shouldn’t really matter that much bc it’s gonna be temporary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

self-loving-vampire · 4 years

Text

@melancholygirlfrien said:

I have a Child Development Associate so I am literally professionally certified to tell you that yes, taking children and babies to places so they can learn how to function and see that they're a part of a world bigger than they are, is important to their social, emotional, and language development. It helps everything from motor skills to social skills and cognition Just because you find babies' cries annoying doesn't mean parents are selfish just for wanting to take their children outside. Children shouldn't be raised indoors all day in a fucking bubble because that's how developmental issue happen. If a child is isolated they can develop serious issues.

Note that there are more appropriate places you could be taking them to, for starters. Places where people can avoid the noise more easily and where it might be less disruptive.

Like, you have options beyond “indoors 100% of the time” and the kinds of locations I mentioned in my first reply to you. Like, you can still take them to places like parks, malls, and other locations where it would be less of an issue.

No it's not fucking self centered for a parent to take their baby outside because they're just doing what they gotta do , not everyone can afford child care especially people of lower socioeconomic status. There are many single mothers who have no other option but to take their baby everywhere because that's what their situation calls for. The only fucking person being self-centered and not considering the struggles of other people is you.

Again, notice the kinds of places I mentioned in my post before going off on straw arguments. My complaints about others involve places like restaurants, the movies, and airplanes.

These are not only places where a child crying can ruin other people’s experience and be inescapable, they’re also places where many of the people there are not poor and had other options for what to do about their situation.

Like, I would think differently about someone who brought their baby to a clinic’s waiting room (for example) as opposed to a flight to Miami.

Black and white thinking is not going to help you understand what other people’s issues are.

No I wouldn't tell someone whos scared of my snake to go suck it, even though I would have every right to. Like I said I understand when people have phobias of certain animals. There might be people out there who have a phobia of dogs but does that mean people who take out their dogs are being selfish and don't care about people who have trauma/phobia associated with dogs?? Fuck no, those people are just being responsible dog owners and doing what every dog owner should which is take their dog out for a walk. Just bc some people might be annoyed by their dog doesn't mean they're being self-centered and bad people.

And yet there are places where they probably should not take their dog because it would be either inconsiderate or outright banned, and if they insisted on doing so then they probably are self-centered.

Like, if you want to take your babies out for a walk or something around the house that’s not nearly as bad as what I was actually complaining about.

your life isn't gonna be fucking ruined from hearing a baby cry in public. The most you'll be is annoyed and anxious for a few moments and then it will go away. Suck it up.

Did I ever say anyone’s life was going to be ruined? Why do you make everything some kind of exaggerated strawman?

Here are some exact quotes you already forgot about:

“It’s not the worst thing but it’s still kind of inconsiderate“

“No one said anything about stopping them or suspending their rights in any way, only that noise is annoying (and especially painful to autistic people with sensory issues).“

“Um… what do you think I do? Activate Karen Mode and go bother the parents about it? Nah, I just judge them silently. I am free to complain as much as I want on the internet though.“

So:

1- I am not treating it as a huge, life-ruining thing, just a sort of dick move. Like people who cut in line or something.

2- I do “suck it up” when it happens but am 100% allowed to complain about it online anyway.

Tbh I can't keep talking to you, I think people like you should be ushered into a dark warehouse and humanely put down.

Empathy-havers are so humane they advocate genocide against autistic people apparently, over a post about baby noises being kind of annoying. I’m not even surprised because you all keep doing this every single time without even thinking about how it sounds.

Maybe you should think about how the things that make children annoying (they're egotistical, they have a hard time empathizing with others because of their self-centered world view) are traits that you have yourself. The difference is that most children develop and grow out of that self-centered world view

If you actually read my post, the primary annoyance I pointed out was that they were Portable Sensory Hell. I made no comment about their ability to feel empathy and actually find low empathy people significantly less annoying than others so that’s clearly not it.

You're a child in my eyes tbh. Your mentality is childish. Say what you will but I would like to remind you again, at one point in your life, you were a baby, and you shit your pants, and someone had to clean up all that shit after. Or else you wouldn't be here.

You know, if you’re going to go around advocating genocide over a post about people not liking baby noises then I am 100% sure my literal child self was morally and intellectually superior to your current self already.

You know what would make me respect you more? If you owned up to the fact that you judging parents when their babies cry is a result of your low empathy and self-centered world view. I would respect you SO much more if you just said "Yo, straight up. I'm just a selfish person. I know babies can't help that they cry and it's not the parents fault but I straight up do not like that shit. I have low empathy as a person and therefore I can't really bring myself to care about babies, children, or the parents and their situation so I just judge parents because I want to. Because their kid is annoying the shit out of me. I don't care about the reasoning tbh I'm just kind of an asshole."

> Implying I care about whether or not you respect me.

Also, this isn’t even correct. At my current point in life I pretty much never have to interact with babies in any way, if I was completely selfish then it would not matter to me now whether or not people bring their crying babies into airplanes and the like. The issue just isn’t a very significant part of my life.

But the thing is that while I am low empathy that does not change the fact that I value other people’s well-being and know that crying babies make their lives worse even if just in a small, temporary way.

The kinds of parents I am complaining about don’t even think about that.

You know you're just incompassionate. So be a self-respecting sociopath and own up to that shit, please, I would respect a stone cold evill mf SO much better than a little weasel who tries to give excuses as to their own egocentric way of thinking.

I am a narcissist, not a sociopath. Of course, if cluster B disorders are just standard insults to you then you might think all low empathy conditions are the same.

Furthermore, you haven’t shown that you understand anything at all about what low empathy conditions are actually like.

Also I find it really telling that you would prefer unrepentant evil selfishness over someone who merely understands and sides with others who are negative about loud babies. Like, actual morality is not something you seem to be valuing here.

"iF I wErE iN tHaT sItUaTiOn I wOuLd jUsT sTaY hOme!" No you wouldn't you stupid bitch because parents have to go out to buy groceries, and run errands like every other adult.

Again, you seem to be treating all of “outside the house” as an interchangeable space with the exact same norms.

Like, do you realize how it might be different to bring your child out for necessary grocery shopping than to bring them to a restaurant or the movies? Do you really think I would treat those things as exactly the same?

MOST parents, especially working-class, poor, or single parents, DON'T have that option, as I already stated. And you are showing a clear lack of regard for people who are in a tougher situation than you for judging parents when their babies annoy YOU. You are literally not putting yourself in their shoes at all bc you have no idea of even half the shit parents have to do in order to make ends meet and look after their babies.

Oh, I am well aware of how having babies will multiply your suffering, especially if you’re poor. It’s precisely why I’m never having any!

I understand it’s a huge pain and people with children are always going on and on about how their lives became significantly more miserable as a result of it.

I think you should honestly love that screaming toddler on the plane because in a few decades she might grow up to become the nurse who will take care of you when you're old and ill.

This argument just doesn’t work one way or another. If the baby is going to help me then I will be grateful once that actually happens, not based on a hypothetical so unlikely I might as well live my life not considering it.

#long post #babygate

31 notes · View notes

firelord-frowny · 3 years

Text

obligatory disclaimer that this post is ENTIRELY based on my own perceptions of my own experiences, and may or may not be true to a broader degree.

anyway, Weight Stuff under the cut. also LMFAO this post is long as SHIT lmfaoooo and it doesn’t even end with the topic i meant for it to be about.

Sooooo, i’ve always very loudly been on Team Mind-Your-Business-About-Other-People’s-Bodies, and i still am, and i am ALWAYS down to (usually gently) call out someone who’s overstepping their boundaries as far as other people’s bodies and lifestyles go, blah blah, and i am KEEEENLY aware of the damage people cause with fatphobia, and that rhetoric surrounding ~diet and exercise~ is almost ALWAYS malicious in terms of hyperfocusing on “ugly fat” and shaming people into feeling horrible enough about theirselves that they pay out the ass for Quick Fixes, and there’s almost 0 focus on The Actual Health Benefits of a healthy lifestyle other than just Maybe Being Slimmer.

But alsoooooooooooooooooooooo???

i’ve always felt like, because of all that shit, it’s so difficult for me to feel comfortable talking about my own body and my own habits and my own shortcomings and my own goals. like, i DO feel bothered by the weight I’ve gained recently. NOT because it makes me feel ugly - i don’t feel ugly at all. i literally almost always feel beautiful lmao. NOT because i’m worried about how other people see me - i don’t have relationships with people who would give someone a hard time about their weight in the first place, and beyond that, i’m generally unconcerned with what people think of my appearance.

the thing that bothers me is that i KNOW my weight gain has been the result of unhealthy lifestyle choices. i’ve always eaten more junkfood than anyone i know, and i’ve always tended to eat VERY few healthy things. so like... that’s bad enough for my health. but i ALSO don’t get much physical activity. and then covid hits and my job is snatched out from under me and i spend most of every day in the same 100 square feet. so like... OF COURSE i gained weight. lots of people did! people gain weight all the time for lots of reasons and nobody should feel bad or guilty about it.

but for me, even though i don’t see my weight gain as cause to lament about my appearance, i DO see it as an indicator that i’m not taking very good care of myself. i mean, if i’m thinner with a shitty diet, then my thinness kind of allows me to ignore my bad choices because there’s no ~visual~ reminder. i know that’s prolly fucked up, but that’s what’s happening in my head. when i’m thinner, i don’t have to acknowledge that there are going to be consequences for my choices.

but to SEE my body change as a direct result of crappy diet and no exericse??? it’s really made me see how urgent it is that i start treating myself better RIGHT the fuck now. i mean, i am Young, but i won’t be young forever, and the longer i keep eating garbage and sitting around all day, the sooner i can expect to start having real health issues. and like, heart problems run in my family (as they do in MANY black families). i already have pcos, and that puts me at a higher risk for stuff like that.

so, it’s been scary to have to face the reality that i’m setting myself up for disaster.

and i figured that CLEARLY i’ve been unable to get myself on track For Free, so i finally caved and signed up for noom, and i’m down almost 10 pounds already.

and i get on the scale and weigh myself and i feel proud! i feel happy! i feel capable! i feel like i’ve proven to myself that i CAN make better choices. i’m NOT weak-willed. i’m NOT incapable of taking care of myself.

But then I feel like i shouldn’t say that out loud, or i shouldn’t tell people how glad i am to see the natural result of my healthier choices.

i’m not glad because i look different - i’m glad because my different look is a sign that i’m succeeding in taking control of my lifestyle. my different look is visual evidence that i’m eating more fruit and whole grains and drinking more water and i’m eating less sugary foods and less meats, and i’m eating healthier portions, and i’m not snacking all day. i can SEE the proof that i’m making choices that are going to give me a better chance at staying healthy throughout my life.

i’m KINDA exaggerating in that i don’t actually think i LOOK different just yet lmao i feel like i look more or less the same. but i definitely do FEEL some subltle differences. i mean maybe it’s a placebo effect, but i think my forearms are slightly narrower and my bewbs are a bit less... cumbersome lmao. (i SWEAR like half of the weight i’ve gained has been in my boobs alone omfg).

but idk, i guess what i’m trying to express is that i just... don’t feel comfortable sharing how glad i am about my progress bc most of my social circles are comprised of people who are rightly critical of the way people talk and think about weight loss. i knooooow that most reasonable folks, if i give the Full Explanation about how my gladness is due to the fact that i can see that my lifestyle is changing for the better, would understand and would be happy for me.

but uhhhh lmao some people Aren’t Reasonable and are committed to having a negative reaction to any statement that seems to exalt thinness in any context at all whatsoever.

and i KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW that a person’s weight is not an automatic indicator of their health, and you can’t assume that a person has Become Healthier just because they’ve lost weight, and you can’t assume that a person has become unhealthier just because they’ve gained it. there are all kinds of reasons for people being whatever size they are, and we can’t make those kinds of judgments about people’s size bc obviously we don’t know their life! we don’t know if they eat veggies and go jogging! we don’t know if a thin person has a cinnabon for breakfast every day or if a fat person is a professional dancer. so like. it’s stoopit to assume anything at all about a person’s health/lifestyle just based on their size.

BUUUUUUUUUUT!!!! an individual person can make those judgements about their own size and their own health. like, people know why they’re the size that they are, whether it’s genetics or lifestyle or health related. one person who’s super thin knows it’s because they have a fast metabolism. another person who’s thin knows it’s because they starve theirself. another person who’s thin knows it’s because they intentionally make choices that would result in their size. and the same goes for big people! they know if they eat too much junk food, or if they’re just genetically ~meant~ to be their size, blah blah blah.

so when a person talks about their own weight and how it relates to their own health and their own lifestyle, i feel like it’s Inappropriate to lecture them about how ~it’s okay to be fat, you don’t need to lose weight~ blah blah. bc like... DUH, it’s okay to be fat. whether it’s because of lifestyle or genes, it’s still okay. it’s allowed. and people should be free to feel beautiful and see theirselves as UNCONDITIONALLY valuable and intrinsically worthy of the space they occupy in the universe. If a person actually disparages theirself because of their weight, then sure, you’re probably welcome to tell that person that their size, no matter the reason for it, has no bearing on their worth and that they have the right to feel good about who they are and how they look.

but if someone says, “you know, it’s really time that i finally started eating right and exercising so i can be healthier and lose weight,” thennnn... i feel like the only appropriate response is to cheer them on and tell them to go for it! if someone knows that their weight is the result of unhealthy habits, and they express a desire to change that, there’s no need to try to tell them that they don’t need to try to change it omfg.

like... literally everyone needs to eat well and exercise in order to give theirself their best chance at staying in good health. thin people need to eat well and exercise. fat people need to eat well and exercise. they only people who DON’T need to eat well and exercise would be people who are actually physically incapable of rigorous movement or people who are, idk, allergic to most ~healthy~ foods.

So if someone who’s been eating junk and sitting around tells you that they want to start eating well and exercising... that’s a GOOD THING. 100% of the time. it’s ridiculous to respond to that with a lecture about ~all sizes are beautiful~ and ~you can do whatever you want, you don’t have to Fit The Mold~ like omfg THAT’S NOT THE POOOOOIIIINNNTTTT!!!

basically, i feel like in the midst of rightly defending fat people’s right to exist as they are, some of the Discourse has inadvertently careened into the absurd territory of actually DISCOURAGING people from making HEALTHY lifestyle changes that would result in weight loss.

as i’m typing this, it also occurs to me that there seems to be an assumption that anyone who intends to lose weight is planning to do it via extreme but temporary methods like restrictive diets and unsustainably vigorous exercise.

i feel like some people need to acknowledge that there’s a difference between “i’m only going to eat one meal a day and exercise for 4 hours a day so i can lose 30 pounds before my wedding day,” and “i’m going to lose my excess weight by transitioning to a healthier lifestyle.” the former describes an unhealthy and unsustainable attempt to starve and overwork yourself to lose x amount of pounds that you’re inevitably gonna regain after you go back to your normal habits, and it’s exclusively focused on appearance. like, it CAN’T be about health, because those methods are unhealthy! you don’t get healthy by doing unhealthy things!

the latter describes a legitimately healthy way of life that can and SHOULD be sustained for a person’s whole life if ptll ossible. there’s no need to try to force your body into a different shape in a short amount of time when you could instead just allow your size to adjust slowly to a permanent and positive lifestyle change.

but it seems like there’s a knee-jerk reaction to condemn weight loss in any context altogether.

i under staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand why people might have that attitude and i’m not mad about it. i GET why some people might be hypervigilant about condemning any belief that suggests that being fat is something that a person should be unhappy about, and i don’t want people to stop doing that.

but i doooooooooooooooooo think that perhaps it’s time that people begin learning to trust other people’s analyses of their own bodies and their own choices and their own goals, and learn to tell when a person’s weight loss is motivated by genuine health reasons, or by social pressure/shame/embarrassment. not everyone who wants to lose weight hates their body. not everyone who wants to lose weight has low self esteem. people can feel fabulous and gorgeous in their current body, and still want to make choices to change it via improving their health.

and like! some people genuinely just don’t WANT to lose weight that they know they’ve gained from unhealthy habits. some people are totally fine with living their life the way they like to live it, and prioritizing their enjoyment of their lifestyle over efferts to prevent future health issues. and that’s their right! and nobody should say shit about it! mind ya business!

i kinda compare it to like... cave divers, or daredevils, or mountaineers. those are all HELLA dangerous activities that kill or seriously injure a LOT of people. and the people who engage in those activities KNOW this. they KNOW that they’re at a significantly higher risk of premature death compared to people who DON’T do those things, and they know that they could increase the odds of living a log time by Not Doing Those Things.

but they do it anyway! because they want to! because they think it’s fun! because the enjoyment of the activity is, for them, worth the risk of harm. they’re living a lifestyle that could kill them, but nobody says shit about it. nobody shames them for it. they just accept that people have the right to be cray cray if that’s what they want to do. people might think daredevils are stupid, but they’re not trying to bully them into quitting.

so if somebody wants to eat a diet comprised of nothing but eating cinnabons 3 times a day every day their whole life, that’s their right! mind ya damn business! if somebody hates exercise enough that they’re okay with the possibility of health problems down the line, then fine! it would be fair to worry about that person and to wish that they’d make differen choices, in the same way that it would be fine for someone to worry about their dearedevil friend and wish that they weren’t a daredevil. but it’s still not grounds to be a dickhead to them.

1 note · View note

xiaolindude · 4 years

Text

VILLAIN AU.

PART 2. 15-20 years old. STUMBLING BLINDLY, DESPERATELY DOWN A DARKER PATH.

( I’m gonna finally be posting the main overview of what happens in Rai’s villain verse! It’ll be split into three parts (1, 2, 3) and there WILL be triggers in here. His life involves a lot of death and violence. All the posts will be tagged but if you need more stuff tagged please just send me a dm! c: )

a lot of cultures/religions/mythologies depict stories of people being lost to the ‘underworld’ or ‘afterlife’ and their living loved ones, unable to cope with ther absence, finding a way to enter this other realm in the hopes of bringing them back. it rarely ends well.

well, after losing his family, killing those responsible and leaving the temple for good, rai frantically starts to research. he spends days and nights researching, weeks, runs himself into the ground while reading up on every kind of mythology and folklore he can think of. after all, he’s seen proof of magic - he IS proof of magic. he’s seen spirits, immortals, other dimensions… how far-fetched can an afterlife be, right? and surely it’s not just Chinese folklore that really exists - the beliefs of other cultures have to have some grounding in reality too, right?

in the end, he looks into heylin magic and ends up capable of a certain amount himself. he’s already losing himself at this point, so consumed by this quest he’s given himself, so broken and angry and repressing so much (the grief, the guilt...) that he barely knows who he is any more. he’s just a kid. he shouldn’t be going through this alone, and yet....

he tries everything. interdimensional travel looking for a version of himself and his family where none of this ever happened. tried drowning himself just for the chance to speak with the Taoist Queen of Heaven, who tells him that what he wants cannot be done.

i’m playing with the idea of just inventing something new bc ya know. that’s the fun of fiction. anyways it’d likely be an ‘offshoot’ of the lao mang lone soup, i suppose? something with similar properties but fewer lasting effects - it’s more temporary. the drinker doesn’t gain immortality but does gain invulnerability for a matter of hours, maybe a day. it requires a fragment of the soul as repayment (not the entire soul, as the lao mang lone soup is stated to require). raimundo uses this to venture safely into Diyu (the realm of the dead in chinese folklore). it’s an impossible large maze-like realm; rai has done enough research to know that his family are likely in City of Innocent Deaths, which he needs to find before the effects of the soup wear off. I’M TAKING SOME LIBERTIES HERE, IT’S MYTHOLOGY AND I HAVE A STORY TO TELL, PLEASE DON’T COME FOR ME.

he gets lost repeatedly and, long story short, doesn’t find them in time. as the soup wears off, he returns to wherever he left his physical body, the effects of the soup having worn off but leaving him with a shard torn from his soul and a monster form that persists. for a long time, rai simply lies there and cries. he’s never gonna see them again. that’s it. he’s tried everything. he failed. and he’s lost them. something in raimundo breaks.

the thing about something breaking is that, when it heals, it’s stronger. more resilient. after drowning himself in alcohol and drugs at far too young an age for several months, he finally passes through the worst of it and comes out the other side. he’s not as he was, but he’s functional again. he steps properly into his own power, reclaims his elemental power as well as the basic heylin magic he learned. he starts again, throwing himself into training and research, barely giving himself a second to think. he can’t think. he learns more magic, develops his attachment with mustelids. nino ronaldo does wonders for his psych and is maybe the only thing rai actually cares about for a while. rai finds a sense of joy and justice in stealing from/tricking/conning/straight up destroying the rich and corrupt, those in power who sat back and did nothing while his family paid the price for their negligence. he delights in their suffering. he’s murdered; he could never be xiaolin and he knows that. he’s not like the rest of them. he’s seen and done too much.

but this? villainy? making people suffer... making them pay? looking out for himself because who the fuck else is going to? yeah, THAT he can do.

#VERSE. robin hood with an attitude problem.#drowning tw #death tw #violence tw #*finger guns* yikes! • ABOUT.#[ ask if you need anything else tagged! ]#[ i'm taking some liberties with folklore pls don't come for me shfhfhjgk ]

2 notes · View notes

dimpled-gukkie · 5 years

Text

To be seen

Taehyung x reader

Warning: This is basically me just venting and being sad so if you don’t want to read sad thoughts then i wouldn't suggest reading it. The ending is happy bc I was trying to comfort myself though

What’s it like to feel invisible? Often when you ask people what power they’d like to have if they were a superhero they’d either say flying or the ability to turn invisible. You know what it’s like to be invisible. Being invisible is standing in a room, fully capable of being seen and yet it’s like you’re a ghost watching as people carry on around you. It doesn’t matter if you try to speak or if you insert yourself in a conversation. You’re just there, filling a space for a little while, one that people don’t even notice was vacant. It’s felt like you were invisible your whole life, merely just passing through the days. Being invisible is not crossing through anyone’s mind or if you do it’s just for a fleeting moment. It’s making plans with friends only for them to forget and leave you alone. It’s nights filled with wondering what’s wrong with you. Why you can’t be just like everyone else. It’s thinking about why your friends don’t notice you, don’t hear you when you speak or think of you when making plans. It’s wondering if you’re not good enough and if that’s why you blend so easily into the background. When you’re invisible you can’t even claim yourself as a wallflower because you’re trying to be seen. You’re clawing desperately for someone’s attention. for someone to blink and realize what’s in front of them. For someone to see that you’re more than just a person to fill a moment with, that you’re more than just a body to make them feel less alone. Oh what it must be like to be seen. To be heard and valued, to have people want to spend time with you.

You type away at your laptop, not caring how loudly you pound the keys, not bothering to wipe away the tears streaming down your face because it’s not like anyone would notice you’re there anyways. They don’t see the person crying to themselves in the corner of the library, having to wipe away their own tears because there’s no one to do it for them. They don’t hear the shaken breaths or the sniffling nose. It’s like you’re always on the outside looking in, like some cruel higher power placed you on earth merely to observe. To simply watch and wonder what it must like to consume someone’s thoughts, to be their priority, to be something other than temporary. It’s a lonely life as the shadow, the person who’s there but isn’t. You’re just a flicker of light in someone’s world, only lighting it for a second before you’re plunged back in the lonely darkness. As you sit in the library, watching as tears collect to make a puddle on the desk next to your laptop you wonder just how long ago your match burned out. How long you’ve been walking around as just a puff of smoke, no longer even catching people’s attention. A blur of movement catches your attention, breaks through the haze made by your watery eyes but you pay them no mind as you continue to pound away on your laptop. It hurts to hope, to pretend that maybe someone will wake up and notice you there. To your surprise the chair across from you scrapes along the linoleum floors and you glance up for a second, unable to make out the person’s features except for the beanie placed upon their head, trapping their honey blonde hair. They cough slightly and you look back down, self-consciously wiping away a tear running down your cheek. Turning up your music you pretend they’re not there, trying to drown out the hopeful thoughts running through your head. Your eyes water again and you begin to pack up your things, not feeling like crying in front of a stranger who couldn’t care less. They probably already forgot you’re here. You’ve slipped one of your backpack straps over your shoulder when a voice stops you, causing you to look up from the floor. “Are you okay?”

You almost choke on a sob, your hands coming up to your mouth to push it back down. You blink rapidly, trying to steady your breathing so the tears will stop enough for you to look at this kind stranger. You don’t get the chance to though because within a few seconds their arms are wrapped tightly around you, chin placed gently over your head as they whisper to you that it’s alright. You cry harder into their arms, the thought that this stranger cared more about you than your own friends plaguing your mind. You wonder if they even remember that they were supposed to meet you here. When your your body begins to jerk violently as the sobs strengthen the stranger releases their grip a little, readjusting their hands so they can rub soothing circles down your back. When you finally calm down enough you pull away, your hand coming up to wipe your cheeks when a much larger one pushes yours away. You look up at the stranger curiously, shocked by his pure beauty. He places his warm hands on your cheeks, smiling down at you sadly as he wipes away your tears. His honey hair compliments his tan honey skin, warm chocolate eyes staring down at you. You can see the unspoken concern in them, the worry causing your eyes to water again. It feels nice, for someone to genuinely care about you. “I’m gonna take that as a no.” He says softly, his hands still stroking your cheekbones softly. You wonder if he’s doing it because it’s soothing or if he’s trying to wipe away the tear stains.

“Yeah, not really. My friends were supposed to meet me but they-uhh forgot about me. Again.” You mumble, casting your eyes down to his chest. His hoodie has wet stains from your tears and you begin to feel guilty.

“Those don’t sound like very good friends.” He says and you shrug.

“It’s whatever. I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t be.” He pouts and the innocent look on his face makes you smile. “Looks like I’m gonna have to stay around.” He smiles, taking your backpack off your shoulder and placing it on his own, reaching down a hand to hold your own.

“Oh you don’t have to.” You say hurriedly, not wanting him to feel pressured to take care of you. That’d be even more embarrassing than him seeing you crying.

“I want to. Besides I gotta show you what a real friend is like.” He smiles widely at you, his mouth turning into an endearing rectangular shape. He shakes your hand in his own and you blush, forgetting you were still holding onto him. “Now come on, let’s get you a hot chocolate or something.” He tugs you along and you follow silently behind him, grinning to yourself. It feels nice to be seen

#sorry to keep posting sad things #but welcome to my psyche #someone wanna send me jungkook gifs #would be greatly appreciated

4 notes · View notes

odogaronfang · 6 years

Note

Also could you do a written of what if shadow could turn others into shadows, and turns vio into a shadow (or gives vio powers similar to him), this actually comes from a AU idea I had, where the four swords plot is very different from the Canon one in the manga, but go all out with this writing, fluff or angest, doesn't matter, i just want to see how you would take the idea of shadow being able to turn others into shadows like him.

[[i’m gonna consider these few asks separate from the follower thing bc they were sent in earlier. so here u go, my Hot Take on how this’d work]]

The battles have been going very poorly, as of late, and there isn’t much that can be done about it.

“Something isn’t right,” Green says, during a brief reprieve in the fight.

“They’re not dying.” Blue’s hammer is disgusting, to say the least, caked with clotted moblin blood and bits of bone, and he holds it out like it’s offended him.

“They’re heavies,” Shadow remarks, casually, like everyone knows that.

“Heavies?”

“Heavies. Armored. Dense bones. Bred out ‘cause they’re strong. They don’t feel much pain, and beatin’ on ‘em is useless.”

“If you know so much how come you aren’t doing anything?”

“I am!” He flicks his hand; a group of bokoblins a few yards away fall to the ground and don’t get back up. “I can only do so much, you know. It’s tiring.”

“You’ve barely been doing anything!”

“Well, that’s ‘cause I just got here.”

Green scowls. “You’d said you’d be waiting in the shadows.”

“And I was! In bed, sleeping. Gotta have my beauty sleep for these things, y’know?”

“I’m gonna hit you.”

Green looks around for the other two; he sees Red carrying a stretcher back towards the field medic’s tent, and Vio’s breaking off his company to come join them.

“Arrows are not doing very much,” He says, “Shadow should have mentioned they were resistant to physical attacks.”

“What makes you think I knew?” He backs off under Vio’s glare. “Well, in my defense, I just got here like a couple minutes ago.”

“So what’re we supposed to do?”

“Use magic,” Shadow says, with a very irritating smirk, and shrugs. “Or you could keep wasting your energy on fighting them, I don’t care.”

Vio studies his face, briefly. “You know something that you do not want to share.”

“‘Cause it’s dangerous, and we can’t have the heroes getting hurt, can we?”

“What is it?”

“I can share my powers,” Shadow says, and takes a step back when Blue threatens again to hit him, “Of course, it takes from mine, and it’s only temporary, and none of you know how to control magic, so it’s really impractical.”

“Vio, could you please go get Red?”

He does, and warns Shadow before he goes that he’d better cooperate, and Shadow stands sulking a safe distance from Blue while they wait.

“Are you sure I can’t just use the rod?” Red looks very skeptical. “I mean, does it have to be Shadow’s magic?”

“What, is somethin’ wrong with my magic?”

Red stares at him.

Shadow stares right back. “Mine’s gonna work the best, but if you don’t wanna win, I understand.”

Red huffs a frustrated breath. “Fine.” He starts to slide the rod back through its loop in his belt, but Shadow takes it from him.

“It’d be better to use it through this,” He says, “Don’t want you killing yourself if you screw it up.”

“And how’s that supposed to work?”

“Same way the fire and ice do.” He palms the orb, and tears it off the rod.

“Dude, what the hell?” Blue goes to snatch it, but Shadow’s quicker, steps away and swats at him with the rod. “Why’d you break it?”

“I didn’t! I’m only replacing it.” He concentrates for a moment, cups the holder, and threads of a wispy, inky substance weave themselves together, coil until they’ve coalesced into an orb not unlike the original, black and deep purple and ever-shifting. “You be careful with this,” He warns, hands it back almost delicately, “It’s drawing off my magic right now, so only use it if you gotta.”

“Use it as much as you possibly can,” Blue mutters aside, to Red, and gets a hard punch on the arm.

“I’m gonna have to use it the whole time, though.”

“I mean don’t go crazy with it. Don’t be showy, just kill ‘em.”

“That’s funny, ‘cause I could say the same thing to you.”

Shadow glances at Vio; he looks proud. “I get to be showy ‘cause it’s mine. You do only what you have to.”

Red glances at the other orb, dulled and muted in Shadow’s hand. “So what do we do with the other one?”

Shadow glances at it too, as though he’d forgotten about it. “What, this old thing?” He holds it up, gives it a cursory glance, and crushes it. There’s a burst of flames, a flash of frost, and then all that’s left of it is the smoke curling from his palm, and Red is staring at him wide-eyed. “What’s wrong? It was half broken anyway.”

“Yeah, well, that was the only one we had,” Red says, anger creeping quickly into his voice.

Shadow just shrugs, and grins. “I can always make another. That one woulda burst on you soon anyway.”

“Okay,” Says Vio, “Let’s all get back to it, then, and Shadow-” He says it pointedly, and snatches the back of his tunic and begins to drag him away, “-can help the archers fill arrows, since he clearly must conserve energy.”

Shadow protests fiercely, but Vio gets him behind the archers’ lines and from there he can’t very well just walk away, so he sits and sulks as he passes off arrows, and entertains himself by picking off monsters long-range and watching Red struggle to figure out the new magic.

And it really is a struggle, Red finds, because as volatile as fire and ice can be, it’s nothing compared to shadow’s magic. He can’t trust it long-range, can’t trust himself to control it that well, has to get far too close for comfort and nearly ends up bludgeoned more than once.

And sure, they win, whatever that means, and he’s exhausted by the end of it, throws the rod at Shadow and slumps against Vio.

“Just give me my fire back,” He complains, and Shadow laughs at him.

“What, something wrong with this one?”

“It’s hard.” Vio passes him a flask of water; he accepts gratefully, and hands it back empty, and digs through his pack for something to eat. “I could hardly control it.”

Shadow’s grin is arrogant and very irritating, and he leans back against nothing, eases himself off the ground, just to show off. “Harder than it looks, yeah?”

Warily, Red nods.

“I know, I make everything look easy.”

“If I hadn’t drunk the water I’d pour it on you.” He sighs, sits on the hill and takes the rod out. “What am I supposed to do with this now?” He traces a finger along the threads of purple in the orb; as he does it unwinds, trails off like smoke, leaves him with a useless metal stick.

“I can just make a new one.”

Vio sits beside Red, plucks a broken arrow from his quiver and throws it at Shadow and works on destringing his bow. “How does that work?”

“Same way.” They both look skeptical about it. “Well, I made it in the first place, why shouldn’t I be able to fix it?”

“Then do it.”

“I’m tired.”

“Evidently not too tired to be floating.”

Shadow scowls, but relents, snatches the rod back and works on putting together a new top. “Rushed the old one,” He says, absorbed in weaving together the different strains, “Needed a distraction quick. I could make this better.”

“Why don’t you, then?”

“Tired.” It’s several minutes before he finishes, and when he does the rod looks warped, and very much not like it had when he’d begun.

Red looks it over. “What’d you do to it? It’s not the same.”

“First of all, you’re welcome.” He tosses it over, leaves Red to fumble for it; only a last-minute save from Vio keeps it from shattering on the ground. “Look at it. See anything different?”

“We’re tired too, so can you just say it and stop being annoying?”

Shadow rolls his eyes, sinks to the grass and lays down, folds his arms behind his head. “I made it double-sided,” He says, as if it were the most obvious thing on the planet- Red looks, and sees an orb sunk into each side. “One for ice and one for fire. Now you can use both at once if you gotta.”

Red’s torn between thanking him and hitting him- Vio saves him from that decision by hitting him in the face with a ration.

“The hell, dude, I just helped you.”

“Eat.”

“What, are you my mom now or something?”

“Then do not eat.”

Vio’s breaking into his own as Green and Blue come back, and Blue accidentally doesn’t notice Shadow and accidentally steps on him, accidentally, and Shadow accidentally almost trips him, and Green has to physically pull Blue to sit away from him before someone gets accidentally murdered.

“It looks different,” Green says, gestures to the rod, and Red gestures to Shadow, who’s currently flipping Blue off, who’s currently flipping Shadow off.

“He broke it and then fixed it and then re-fixed it.”

“I broke it intentionally,” Shadow adds from the middle of his flipping-off contest with Blue, “Couldn’t have all three on at once or it’d break. Like, for real break.”

“But you could just fix it, couldn’t you?”

“Shut up, Red.”

“Do not tell him to shut up.”

“You can shut up too.”

“Mature.”

#four swords #red link #shadow link #vio link #blue link #green link #in which shadow is an asshole #(that's always)#green is. really the only one thatll actually take shadows shit #blue doesnt. red doesnt. vio doesnt. zelda sure as HELL doesnt.#green.... eh #hes more concerned with keeping everyone like #together. in the team.#my writing #shadow likes to see how far he can push red #the answer is not very because red isnt usually too fond of him

16 notes · View notes

mydarlingdumbdiary · 7 years

Text

March 27th, 2017

10:15pm

Firstly, “Good as Gold” by The Apache Relay is an amazing song and I don’t know why it took me so long to find it. It’s much better than Katie Queen of Tennessee and Don’t Leave Me Now. A million times better in fact. Not even on the same level really. It has a similar sound to the others, but everything about it is just better. The other two were good for awhile, but I got tired of them and ended up deleting them from itunes. I’d just always skip them when they came up on shuffle and I feel like if you do that to a song enough times then what’s the point of even having it? Katie Queen is super cute though, I might re-download that again someday. I like that in Good as Gold it says “Good for you, turn your back on Tennessee, you know whatcha you gotta do” because I feel like it’s kinda a nod to Katie Queen. Maybe they’re about the same girl, but like a before/after thing? That’d be cool. So yeah, I’m going to be listening to this on repeat for at least the next couple of days, if not weeks.

Not much else to report. Work was slow today, but it was nice to get back into a routine and feel somewhat productive. I’m going to look into dance classes around town. It’s too late to do it at cabrillo, but I’m sure I could find something somewhere. I kinda wish I would’ve just signed up at the beginning of the semester. Too late for that now, though. I’m also gonna look up dog walking/sitting jobs bc I need dogs in my life pronto. Honestly, rule #1 of mental health, keep dogs around me always or else I’ll die. That was just a rookie mistake on my part and it needs to be corrected immediately. In my defense, I did think the whole foster dog thing was going to work out, but I did not know how much work actually goes into that kinda stuff. Which makes sense, but still. I thought I could just walk in and choose a dog to foster and then bring it back. I kinda want to start volunteering there again too, so I should look into when their next orientation session is. I wish I didn’t have to go through training again, but I definitely need to bc I’ve pretty much forgotten everything by this point. Training’s not that hard though and it’s worth it to be able to play with dogs whenever I want to. Yes, I’m doing this. Why have I not been doing this the whole time I’ve been home?????? I know better than that. A life without dogs is no life at all.

Also I’m calling SSU tomorrow to find out if I missed the deadline for commencement. I decided that I actually do want to walk in May so fingers crossed I didn’t drop the ball on this one.

Also, I think I’m liking my hair more? It’s still missing something, but I’m coming around to it. I think it needs more layers. I like that kinda messy choppy short hair look, I just don’t know if it’d look good on me. I’m waiting until Wednesday to make a decision on if I should just let it grow out again or if I should go somewhere else to see if they can fix it. I promised Bobbie I’d wait exactly a week after I got it cut to make a decision and that I wouldn’t try to fix it myself. I need to face the facts that I am not good with scissors. Some people are great at cutting their own hair, but I am not one of those people. Also, I just shouldn’t have bangs. They do not look good on me. Honestly though, this is not the worst thing I could have done to myself with scissors, especially when feeling depressed, so I still count this as a win. I just want it to look cute though. Being cute and sad is so much easier than being awkward and sad. I’ve been trying out the Dodie half bun look though and it is quite a Look. I might start wearing my hair like this all the time. I just strive to reach that level of adorable. I definitely would not have cut my hair short if it wasn’t for that video. I was all happy with my long hair, bragging to everyone about how I was never going to make the same mistakes and cut it short myself again, and then Dodie posted that video and I was like oh my god no short hair is the cutest thing in the world I need that now. Oh well, it’s spring and my hair already does feel lighter. I think I will make an appointment to get it fixed up a little more. I don’t just want to wear it up all the time until it grows out, that’s boring and a drag and just makes me feel more awkward about it. I want to get it how I want it to look and be able to wear it down whenever I want to and look super cute all the time.

I thought this post was going to be like three sentences, woops. But good news! I’ve written in this for four days straight! Consistent therapeutic writing? Making plans for productive things I’m going to do to make me feel better? Long term solutions for things instead of just temporary distractions? Being honest about how I’m feeling? What, that’s crazy. It’s so weird being productive after you’ve been depressed because you’re just like why was I not doing this the whole time? Was I sleeping? How much time went by? But I really do think I’m on the upwards mend now. I’m talking to Bonny on Wednesday and even if I’m in a really good mood and feel great when I’m talking to her, I’m still gonna be honest about how shitty I was feeling before. Because I always do this where I talk to someone when I’m okay and then I don’t tell them about the not okay stuff bc I don’t want to ruin my okay mood or bring them down, but then when I’m done talking to them everything just comes back to me anyway and I’m like cool, you could’ve talked about that to the person you were literally just talking to. At least I’m in the better part now, where I can say yes, I was feeling like shit, but now I’m feeling better and this is why. It’s so much easier to talk about it in the past tense than when it’s happening, which I guess is another thing I need to work on, but hey baby steps. Let’s just focus on keeping myself in the better part right now because that’s what matters the most.

Okay, to do list for this week:

1. Call SSU about commencement

2. Research therapists (I’ve been avoiding this one for awhile)

3. Look up dance classes in town

4. Register for next animal shelter orientation

5. Look up dog walking/sitting jobs online

Also:

-be super honest when you talk to Bons on Wednesday

-possibly make hair appt. for this weekend? -> actually show them the pictures on your phone this time!

-wear your hear in Dodie top bun (insert trademark icon) to maximize cuteness

-keep writing in this every day!

-focus on getting better, not worse

You don’t need to prove to anyone how terrible you’ve felt before. It’s not a competition and even if it was, why would you want to be part of something so terrible? You don’t need to cover up how you’re feeling or lie to make others feel okay. All you need to do is focus on being as honest as possible because that’s really the only thing that matters.

0 notes