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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 3 years

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I just...want to work in the garden and do nothing else. Stop only to eat and pee. I go in when the daylight’s done. And then all I want to do is look at more plants I can order and talk about my garden. All my plants are native to Ontario or nearby. All with edible parts except one. So. Plant species I have/am getting this year are:

001. Achillea millefolium (common yarrow) The red-flowered cultivar seems to have died over the winter, but the non-cultivar is growing strong and is also creeping past the stone border to become one with the grass. lol

002. Actaea racemosa (black snakeroot/black cohosh) Next weekend!

003. Agastache foeniculum (anise hyssop) Literally migrated from the place I planted it to a place it likes better, I guess. As in, there is no plant where I planted, but there is an anise hyssop in another part of that bed. You do you.

004. Allium canadense (meadow garlic/Canada garlic) Spreading slowly but reliably and super tasty.

005. Allium cernuum (nodding onion) It has flowered each year--this is year 4--but hasn’t spread at all. Very tasty, and I’ve bought some friends to help it along.

006. Allium schoenoprasum (chives/wild chives) Absolutely yum and doing very well.

007. Allium stellatum (prairie onion/autumn onion) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

008. Allium tricoccum (ramps/wild leek) It will be quite some time before it even makes flowers which hopefully let it spread, so I won’t be able to reap the benefits for a while. But, both plants did come up this year and have now died back as expected. Hopefully they’ll continue to come up.

009. Amelanchier canadensis (Canadian serviceberry) Caterpillars. Are. EATING IT. Gypsy moth caterpillars. This is going to be a problem for some time until they pupate, I guess. Plant’s generally okay, though. I won’t be getting fruit anytime soon, though.

010. Anaphalis margaritacea (pearly everlasting) Very healthy plants keeping the sunflowers under some control. This spring was my first year eating the shoots. Can’t say anything about the taste specifically, as they went into a pasta sauce, but that sauce was delicious.

011. Andromeda polifolia (bog rosemary) Next weekend!

012. Aquilegia brevistyla (smallflower columbine) Growing very well, more flowers this year. Next year I’ll eat some (flowers, only the flowers are edible).

013. Aquilegia canadensis (Canada columbine/red columbine) Flower stalk doesn’t seem as tall this year, but it still has a lot of flowers. They’re a lovely refreshing sweet snack (just the flowers).

014. Arabis alpina (alpine rockcress) Next weekend! I had one last year, but it didn’t survive the winter. The poor thing was so root-bound there was no soil in the pot, so I’m not surprised it didn’t make it. Hopefully the new one will be in better condition.

015. Arctostaphylos uva-ursi (bearberry/kinnikinnick/pinemat manzanita) Not doing great and I’m not sure why. That area is reasonably well-drained and it gets part sun, part shade. Oh well. Maybe I’ll move it to the hill in the back. It seemed to like the hill I had it on at my old apartment.

016. Argentina anserina (silverweed cinquefoil) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

017. Arisaema triphyllum (jack-in-the-pulpit) It came up! I was sure it had died last year. But no, it’s fine. Male this year. Hopefully female next year (I’m trying to see if the berries can be dried into edibility like the corms, and if they can I want to make jam or something with them).

018. Armeria maritima (thrift sea-pink) Drooping! It’s a drought-tolerant plant that will die if over-watered so I don’t water it more than once a week and I don’t water deeply, but it’s been hot so maybe it needs more or maybe I managed to overwater it anyway. Frick. Flowering very nicely though.

019. Aronia melanocarpa (black chokeberry) Doing just fine. No flowers and I don’t expect them for another couple of years at least, but it’s growing well.

020. Artemisia frigida (prairie sagewort/fringed sagebrush) Already spreading in the bed. Should look very nice when it fills in.

021. Aruncus dioicus (bride’s feathers/goat’s beard/buck’s beard) Growing more quickly than the internet told me it would! And going to flower this year too, which will be lovely.

022. Asarum canadense (Canada ginger) Doing fine for now, but burnt a lot in the sun last year. Likely to do so again. I’m going to plant something in front of it to shade it better. See, I wouldn’t have put it there if it was full sun because it’s a shade to part sun plant, but that area isn’t full-sun, it’s part sun; however, the sunlight it does get is very strong in the summer and the poor thing gets burnt.

023. Asclepias incarnata (swamp milkweed) Growing like a beast! Flowers were gorgeous last year. I don’t expect this to be any different, and maybe some monarch butterflies will pay it a visit.

024. Asclepias ovalifolia (oval leaf milkweed/dwarf milkweed) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

025. Asclepias syriaca (common milkweed) Mine seemed to come up much more slowly than those I’ve seen elsewhere, but it is a fairly young plant. I expect it will come up earlier next year. And it’s doing fine now.

026. Asclepias tuberosa (butterflyweed) Hasn’t come up yet, but they can take till middle of June to start emerging, so I’m not going to worry about it yet.

027. Asimina triloba (pawpaw) All three trees are alive, though with very different rates of growth. I got them at the same size at the same time, but in trying to figure out what the best thing was for them, I planted one on a hill next to the door of my at-the-time apartment, one by the fence at the opposite side of the yard, and the third I kept in a pot, which I brought in for the winter. That spring, the potted tree leafed out first at the end of April, and the one on the hill in the middle of May. The third didn’t bud at all. I continued to water it, but I was sure it was dead. Then the house my apartment was in caught fire so I had to go to a new place (same landlords, so still allowed to plant on the new property) and didn’t want to leave my plants behind. It was the end of June. All my plants were potted. and I was going to leave the lifeless stick behind AND THEN IT SUDDENLY HAD BUDS. So I potted it and took it too. All three survived the transplant, but the tree I had initially taken inside (but is now outside) is the biggest, and that little stick is still the smallest. lol

028. Asplenium trichomanes (maidenhair spleenwort) Very little still, but seems healthy. I hope for its fronds to spill over my newly constructed garden wall when it’s bigger.

029. Athyrium felix-femina (lady fern) Doing very well, as a fern that can tolerate full sun.

030. Caltha palustris (marsh marigold) It is a marsh plant and there is no pond on the property to plant it, but there is a leaking eavestrough, which I thought would do well enough along with heavy watering. So far I have been correct.

031. Campanula rotundifolia (harebell) Very lush and green. I struggled to keep it alive that first year, but three years later it’s perfect.

032. Cardamine concatenata (cutleaf toothwort) Sometime this summer!

033. Castilleja miniata (paintbrush) Sometime this summer!

034. Ceanothus americanus (New Jersey tea) Not ready to use in tisanes yet, but growing well.

035. Cerastium arvense (field chickweed) The first two years the thing was barely alive, but this year’s it’s moment to shine as it spreads and flowers.

036. Cercis canadensis (redbud) No flowers this spring, but wonderful foliage. Fingers crossed for next year.

037. Comptonia peregrina (sweetfern) Next weekend!

038. Coreopsis lanceolata (lance-leaved tickseed) The first plant I attempted died, but this one’s doing very well.

039. Cornus canadensis (bunchberry) Next weekend! I mean, my plant from last year would likely be fine if the squirrels hadn’t dug it up, as would the one before that (because that one came from the old place and had survived the winter just fine!). So, I’m going to plant the new one in a different spot and hope the fluffy-tailed rodents leave the poor thing alone this time.

040. Cornus florida (flowering dogwood) Just a baby still, but its leaves are nice and green. I had one before it that really liked the hill I had planted it on back at the old place but died in the pot before I could put it in its new home.

041. Cystopteris bulbifera (berry bladder fern) Doing just fine. I love my ferns.

042. Dalea purpurea (purple prairie clover) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

043. Deschampsia caespitosa (tufted hair grass) Not doing too well. Was fine last year, so I’m not sure what’s going on.

044. Echinacea purpurea (purple coneflower) I’ve always loved these. They’re edible, medicinal (with caution), have lovely flowers, and attract lots of pollinators including bees and butterflies. Mine is doing perfectly. No flowers yet this year, but very green healthy foliage.

046 Erythronium americanum (trout lily/dogtooth violet) Still no flowers this spring, but they did come up, so maybe next year.

047. Eupatorium purpureum (sweet-scented Joe Pye weed/gravel root/purple Joe Pye weed) Soon! Also, do you know how this is eaten? Its root is literally burnt and then you use the ashes to flavour your food. The plant is otherwise poisonous, so how it was found out that it could be used this way conjures up amusing scenarios for me.

048. Fragaria vesca (woodland strawberry/wild strawberry/alpine strawberry) I have strawberries! They’re far from ripe yet, but developing well. They’re also spreading over the hill I planted them on and will hopefully give the garlic mustard and dog-strangling vine a run for their money.

049. Fragaria virginiana (wild strawberry/Virginia strawberry/common strawberry/mountain strawberry) Because one native species of strawberry isn’t enough, I have both. This one is also making strawberries and nicely filling out the area I put it in.

050. Galium boreale (northern bedstraw) Newly planted! The first one of these I planted didn’t survive the winter, but I hadn’t been able to plant it until autumn (because I hadn’t yet been told where I could plant). This one has the rest of spring, the whole summer, and fall until frost to establish itself, and I’ve seen a number of them growing wild at the edge of the ravines, so it should be fine.

051. Gaultheria procumbens (American wintergreen/eastern teaberry/boxberry/checkerberry) Next weekend! I actually already have one and have had it for a couple years, but it’s another that came so root-bound there wasn’t any soil in the pot. I planted it hoping for the best, but it seems to be in a very slow decline. So I’m going to plant another one, hopefully not so root-bound and that will maybe either give it a boost (plants of the same species will often help each other when sick by transferring nutrients) or else take over when the first one dies.

052. Geum aleppicum (yellow avens) I didn’t plant this, and I can’t find it for sale anywhere anyway, but it’s a common plant that shows up as a weed. Being native as well as edible, it’s allowed to stay wherever it isn’t directly in my way.

053. Geum canadense (white avens) Same as above. lol Anyway, both species have attractive foliage. They’re likely not used as garden plants because of how common they are as weeds and because their flower stalks are long and leggy. But I’m happy to have them.

054. Geum rivale (purple avens) Newly planted! This one is offered as a garden plant, though fairly rare, and I’ve finally got my hands on one! All of the Geum species in my garden seem to be doing just fine, so I expect this will fine too. It’s the first plant I’ve put in a new area that doesn’t drain very well which makes it perfect for plants like this one that grow in clay on stream banks.

055. Geum triflorum (prairie smoke) Green leaves. Flower stalks up. This is a pretty reliable plant because it doesn’t die back in the winter, it just sort of sits there waiting for spring and then resumes growth like nothing happened. The first year it drooped a lot but once it established itself there was no stopping it and the transplant went smoothly too.

056. Grindelia squarrosa (gumweed) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

057. Helianthus divaricatus (woodland sunflower) This is a sunflower that can actually stand a fair bit of shade. I thought mine had died last year due to the foliage and stemming dying back after a squirrel broke it and it and it was still summer. But it’s come up this year and I’m starting to think nothing short of cooking a sunflower’s roots will actually kill it.

058 and 059. Helianthus nuttalli (Nuttall’s sunflower/common tall sunflower) and Helianthus pauciflorus (stiff sunflower/beautiful sunflower) All I know is, I ordered both, I received two small plants, by the time I got them in the ground they were barely alive, that area is now being overtaken by sunflowers, and it could be one species, or it could be both, I don’t know. I did thin out some shoots this spring and add them to a very flavourful pasta sauce. I also thinned out a bunch of their roots last fall. To look at them, you wouldn’t know that either of these had happened, and I’m going to have to thin out more. They’re also putting up shoots between the stones of the cement path. There will be sunflowers here until the end of time.

060. Helianthus tuberosus (sunchoke/Jerusalem artichoke/suntato) Because I don’t learn, I planted yet another sunflower species last year, in a different area, because dammit I want my suntatoes that taste like artichokes. I planted one last year. I took and ate a bunch of tubers in the fall. There are currently five plants. This should be interesting.

061. Heliopsis helianthoides (false sunflower/sweet oxeye) After getting off to a rocky start last year, this one’s doing just fine, and also looks to be living up to its resemblance to sunflowers in more than just appearance.

062. Hibiscus moscheutos (swamp rose mallow) One of them appears to have died so I hope the other isn’t headed the same direction. Seems to be coming up normally though. Also I learned the flowers can change colour from year to year which was a huge surprise to me from the first year to the second. No idea what it will be like this year.

063. Hierochloe odorata (sweet grass/vanilla grass) It flowered last year, which was lovely. I hope it does so again this year. Foliage is nice and green anyhow.

064. Humulus lupulus (common hop) Growing nicely now, though its first several shoots died this year. It seems to just be a very impatient plant in the springtime despite not being very frost hardy. So it put out shoots, which died in the frost, and then put out more, which also died, etc. until finally there was no more frost so it just kept growing. That’s one way to do it, I guess. lol Most other frost-tender plants tend to be more cautious about when they put out new growth. had a hop plant at my old apartment, which really liked the place I put I put it in, but it died when I potted it to try and take with me.

065. Impatiens capensis (jewelweed/spotted touch-me-not) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

066. Juglans nigra (black walnut) This tree has likely been on this property since before I was born. I tapped it spring before last. I’ll tap it next spring too. Seems to be a healthy tree.

067. Kalmia latifolia (mountain laurel) They’re not native to Ontario but they are native to eastern North America, in the Appalachian mountains. I figured if they could survive mountain weather they could handle south Ontario winters, and so far it has. It’s not edible but I fell in love with them a long time ago when reading David Attenborough’s The Secret Life of Plants. And they’re making buds this year!

068. Lactuca canadensis (Canadian lettuce) Yes! We have a native lettuce. Most people will pull it up as a weed along with dandelions and thistles, though. I let it stay wherever possible. It’s not like I can just buy a new one, so I count myself lucky when they come up in my garden.

069. Lilium michiganense (Michigan lily) It made smaller ones, but they don’t seem to have survived for whatever reason. The older ones are very robust this year, though, and are budding with what looks like will be many flowers.

070. Lilium philadelphicum (wood lily) Newly planted! I have not had much luck with these, but hopefully this year’s the year. I have two plants, so maybe they’ll help each other.

071. Lindera benzoin (spicebush) No flowers or butterflies yet, but it’s a healthy bush and lives up to its name.

072. Linum lewisii (blue flax) Newly planted! I’ve wanted these for a long time but the places that carried them either wouldn’t deliver or didn’t have them as plugs or potted stock (I find seeds too unreliable). But now I have a couple in the large stone garden pot that I specifically filled with dirt that would allow for good drainage, for those plants that can survive the cold but not sitting in water.

073. Lupinus perennis (sundial lupine) Soon! Or I already have it. Not sure. See, I was sent an email by the company saying I’d probably accidentally gotten a bigleaf lupine instead and they gave me a coupon for the following spring to get a confirmed sundial lupine, but there is a chance I already have it. Either way it’s a nice plant, so whether I have two plants of the same species or two different species is fine.

074. Lupinus polyphyllus (bigleaf lupine/common lupine) I actually haven’t been able to find this species available for delivery anywhere, so if that is what I currently have, then I’m delighted and this is the best plant mixup that could possibly happen (there have been a number). Whatever it is is a very attractive plant even with just the foliage. I hope it makes flowers this year.

075. Mahonia repens (creeping Oregon grape) Speaking of plant mixups! The first time I ordered this I got a Potentilla nepalensis instead. I didn’t know it at the time, as it had a tag saying “Mahonia repens”, but then it flowered...I wouldn’t have minded terribly much if it had been a native Potentilla species, but “nepalensis” is definitely not that. Well, I emailed the company with a photo and they promptly delivered not one, but two creeping Oregon grape plants, and both seem to be doing okay, making new growth, survived the winter, which the potentilla did not.

076. Maianthemum stellatum (starry false Solomon’s seal) They seem to be doing well! They flowered, but I don’t know if there will be berries. Next year maybe, but then you don’t really see Maianthemum berries until late summer, so maybe there will be a couple this year.

077. Mentha arvensis (wild mint) It’s doing exactly what mint does. Tastes wonderful, which is a great reason for thinning it out and pulling it out from between the sidewalk stones.

078. Mertensia paniculata (tall bluebells) Currently flowering. Despite the name, though they do grow taller than their cousin the Virginia bluebells, I wouldn’t say they’re a bigger plant overall. Very nice though. The flowers are a delicate light blue.

079. Mertensia virginica (Virginia bluebells) When I planted the rootstock in the early summer and nothing came up at all, I thought they had died. But nope! They came up vigorously this spring, with huge leaves and incredibly blue flowers. The flowers are don and it’s starting to die back now, but what a gorgeous springtime plant it is.

080. Monarda didyma (scarlet beebalm) My theory is if you put two members of the mint family next to each other, they’ll keep each other at bay. I’m probably wrong. Anyway, this is already spreading in two directions. Last year caterpillars at a lot of its flowers. I hope that won’t happen this year.

081. Monarda fistulosa (wild bergamot) Has become a very big plant, but politely hasn’t really left it’s immediate area. They make great dried flowers after the winter, by the way, as the seedheads retain the scent. Especially if you squeeze them.

082. Monarda punctata (horsemint) This is starting to fill out now, but compared to the other members of its genus took a very long time to go past a teeny tiny little growth. Last year it got huge shortly after I planted it, so we’ll see if it does that this year. I hope so. The bees, wasps, and other pollinators absolutely loved it.

083. Myosotis laxa (smallflower forget-me-not) I didn’t plant it, I can’t even find it available for sale. It just grows as a weed. It’s just as blue as other forget-me-nots, but with stems that are very leggy and even smaller flowers than the popular garden species. But it’s native so it stays where it’s not directly in my way. It’s very prolific, lots of plants in the garden.

084. Myrica gale (sweet gale/bog myrtle) Only just started making new growth. It seems to be on its way out and I’m not sure why, but it makes me sad. I think last year was really hard on it being so hot so early and I didn’t have a hose then, so I was stuck carrying buckets of water up from my apartment in the basement. But I have a hose this year and I’ve been watering regularly, so maybe, just maybe, it will spring back into action this year. It’s such a pretty bush when in full foliage and the leaves taste like green tea.

085. Oenothera fruticosa (narrow-leaved sundrops) Next weekend! I’ve grown another species which has finished its lifecycle (they’re biennial) and sadly doesn’t seem to have successfully reseeded itself. But maybe this one will.

086. Onoclea sensibilis (sensitive fern) This poor thing struggled hard last year. I planted it between a tree and the house, but it still got a lot of sunlight. Still, it came up this year, and in my experience, second year plants tend to be much more hardy, so we’ll see. It’s doing fine for now.

087. Opuntia fragilis (fragile prickly pear) I did put it in a fairly dry area that gets full sun, but it does struggle in the winter and spring. It is starting to bounce back, though, just like it did last year, and the pieces it scattered are making roots of their own. All of whom are spiky bastards.

088. Opuntia humifusa (eastern prickly pear/devil’s tongue) This did just fine. I had it in a big stone pot which I moved to an area that gets no rain or snow on it, and it’s making new growth now that I’ve moved the pot back into the full sun. It like to spike me whenever I move the pot.

089. Osmundastrum cinnamomeum (cinnamon fern) Next weekend!

090. Oxalis stricta (yellow woodsorrel/sourgrass) It’s not technically native to Ontario, but it is native to Michigan and moved up here decades or possibly centuries ago. I didn’t plant it and you can’t find it in stores because it’s considered a weed, but it is coming up in my garden, it doesn’t hurt anything, and it is a delicious little plant, so it stays.

091. Parthenocissus quinquefolia (Virginia creeper) I didn’t have to buy this because it was already in the yard (it’s common in the ravines), but if it wasn’t I would have, because it’s gorgeous and I like the taste of the berries. It’s a native relative of Boston ivy, so if you’re wanting a wall climber, please get Virginia creeper instead. They’re available at a lot of garden centres and online.

092. Phlox divaricata (woodland phlox/blue phlox) It’s growing, but I think one of the white avens is overcrowding it, so I’ll probably dig that one up and eat it so the phlox can have more space.

093. Podophyllum peltatum (mayapple) Three plants in last year. One plant up this year. Oh well. It’s growing nicely, so hopefully it will spread.

094. Polygonatum biflorum (smooth Solomon’s seal) Hopefully coming by the end of this month!

095. Polystichum achrosticoides (Christmas fern) It doesn’t die back in the winter! I mean, the leaves get kind of yellowed, but otherwise just hangs out and makes new growth in spring. My first attempt with ferns (ostrich ferns) was a failure, but so far all my other fern species have been successful and are currently thriving.

096. Prunus americana (American plum) It’s very top heavy when leafed so it flops over whenever it rains which is kind of funny, but it seems to be doing fine.

097. Prunus nigra (black plum/Canada plum) My first black plum died, but this one seems fine.

098. Prunus pumila (sand cherry) Soon! And it better bloody be a sand cherry and not a purple-leaf sandcherry, which is a hybrid, like the last company I ordered one from sent me. But that company didn’t specialize in native plants and carried both plants, whereas this company does specialize in native plants and does not advertise the hybrid at all.

099. Prunus serotina (black cherry) This is the very cherry that is used to flavour black cherry ice cream! But my little tree (not that little anymore lmao) hasn’t made flowers yet. It has nice foliage though it keeps trying to grow into the neighbour’s fence. Don’t know why. The sun doesn’t come from there. Maybe it will flower next spring.

100. Pycnanthemum tenufolium (slender mountain mint) Despite being part of the mint family, this is actually a very polite plant so far that stays in its immediate area.

101. Pycnanthemum virginiana (Virginia mountain mint) Just as polite as its cousin. My first died and I blame the person who lived in another unit who decided that garden bed was an ash tray. I managed to put a stop to that, got all the cigarettes out, dug out a stump, added new dirt, and planted a new Virginia mountain mint as well as bride’s feathers. That particular tenant isn’t there anymore and nobody else does anything with the outside, except to put a garden hyacinth there, which I’ve left in its pot and been watering. I’m not just going to leave the poor thing to die. Anyway, the Virginia mountain mint flowered last year and I hope it does so again this year.

102. Ratibida columnifera (yellow coneflower/upright prairie coneflower) Newly planted! I don’t like to get the cultivar versions if I can avoid it, but I will if that’s all that’s available, or in this case, to get the plants I really wanted, I needed to get something that would put me over the minimum cost. But I didn’t want to leave it at that, so I bought a non-cultivar this year so they can be friends.

103. Ratibida pinnata (gray-headed coneflower/yellow coneflower/pinnate prairie coneflower) This almost flowered last year and the I accidentally broke it with the hose. That will not happen this year. I don’t see a flower stalk yet, but the leaves look healthy.

104. Rhus aromatica (fragrant sumac) It’s putting out flowers, but it did so last year and nothing happened, so I guess we’ll see this year.

105. Rosa blanda (smooth rose) A rose without thorns! Or almost. It’s got leaves out, but it’s a slow grower for a rose and hasn’t flowered yet.

106. Rubus occidentalis (black raspberry) This was supposed to be a red raspberry because black raspberries are easy to find in the ravines, but that’s okay, and I did order a new red raspberry which will hopefully actually be red. lol

107. Rubus strigosus (American red raspberry) Soon! Sometimes considered a variety of Rubus idaeus, which is the one you find in grocery stores. There is one patch I’ve found of them in the ravines, but they’re not nearly as common here as the black raspberry. Hopefully this new plant I get will actually be the red raspberry.

108. Rudbeckia laciniata (cutleaf coneflower/green-headed coneflower) There are two plants with very different leaves growing there. One of them I hope is the plant I intended, but won’t know until they flowers. They’re both doing well, whatever they are.

109. Sambucus canadensis (common elderberry) It’s making flowers this year! I learned the hard way that this species does NOT like being transplanted to a pot, which I had to do to take with me to my current apartment. However, it did eventually bounce back and didn’t mind being transplanted to its current location, which it likes just fine.

110. Shepherdia canadensis (Canada buffaloberry) Next weekend!

111. Solidago canadensis (Canadian goldenrod) I tried to buy this plant but they accidentally sent me an aster species instead. However, there are a bunch of goldenrods growing a different area that I didn’t plant and I believe to be this species.

112. Solidago nemoralis (gray goldenrod) Droops a lot but bounces back quickly.

113. Solidago simplex (spike goldenrod/sticky goldenrod/Mt. Albert Goldenrod) I’ve tried this once before and it died, possibly from being small enough that the ledge it was next to prevented it from getting enough sunlight. I’ve planted the new one far enough from the ledge that it does not get shaded by it, so hopefully that will do the trick.

114. Spiraea alba (meadowsweet) The first year in the new place it struggled a bit, but it’s fine now and it flowered last year.

115. Symphoricarpos orbiculatus (coralberry) Next weekend! It’s also the first time I’ve seen it available anywhere.

116. Symphyotrichum ciliolatum (fringed blue aster/Lindley’s aster/northern heart-leaved aster) A very polite aster, or maybe it’s just being kept under control by the sweet grass (055). Its foliage is that lovely gray-green colour often referred to as “blue” when people talk about holly, spruce, and hosta leaves, and its flowers are that pale blue people often think of as purple or periwinkle but shows up digitally as light blue.

117. Symphyotrichum cordifolium (heart-leaved aster) Doing fine where I planted it.

118. Symphyotrichum laeve (smooth aster) I didn’t have the tag and thought this was a violet when I planted it. It now thinks it owns the space, but looks very nice when it’s in bloom.

119. Symphyotrichum lanceolatum (panicled aster/lance-leaf aster/willow aster/tall white aster/eastern line aster/white-panicle aster/narrow-leaf Michaelmas daisy) Lots of common names. It decided it belonged on the sidewalk last year, but surprisingly agreed when I placed its branches behind the stone line of the garden. We’ll see if we can come to the same agreement this year.

120. Symphyotrichum novae-angliae (New England aster) Not flowering yet this year, but looks it’s getting ready. They’re such a lovely rich violet to purple and I love that they flower so late into autumn too.

121. Taraxacum officinale ceratophorum (fleshy dandelion/horned dandelion/rough dandelion) Obviously didn’t buy it. lol But it is in my garden along with non-native subspecies. Since they don’t harm the plants they grow among, they can stay as long as they’re not in my way.

122. Trillium erectum (red trillium) Next weekend! And I possibly already have one. See, I ordered three trillium species last year as bulbs and planted them, but lost two of the tags. Only two species came up and only the one with the tag flowered this year. So I don’t know if the one that didn’t flower was erectum or grandifolium, so I ordered both again.

123. Trillium flexipes (nodding trillium) It came up this year and it was lovely. Died back now though.

124. Trillium grandiflorum (great white trillium) Next weekend! And I might already have one: see 109. Ontario’s provincial flower. I once made a set of coat of arms style designs with each of the provincial flowers and animals.

125. Urtica dioica gracilis (stinging nettle) Planted itself in my garden back at the old place and if I didn’t trust the other plants would be safe after I left (I was right, by the way; the whole backyard has been turned over) I definitely didn’t think this would be either, so I potted it to take with and got stung for my trouble, but it’s happy in its new home. Lives up to its name, of course, but I did eat a few of the tops earlier this year in soup and later in pasta sauce, so I suppose we’re even.

126. Vaccinium angustifolium (lowbush blueberry/wild blueberry) When you see “wild blueberries” in the grocery store in Ontario, it’s this. It always seems to struggle with mould in the spring. Every year I’ve had it. I got it a friend in hopes it would help, but they seem to both be dealing with it now. I’ll have cut back the bad branches and hope that helps. It usually does, but I don’t know why it starts in the first place. None of the neighbouring plants are suffering.

127. Vaccinium corymbosom (highbush blueberry) This is the species you’ll most often see in the grocery store in Ontario as “blueberries”. My bush always makes some flowers and berries, but it’s not doing great right now. Not sure why. It doesn’t get mould the way the lowbush blueberries do. I hope it’s not on its way out. You can get them at a lot of garden centres, but there’s usually a minimum amount of plants or a minimum cost, and garden centres that specialize in native plants don’t often carry these, while garden centres that don’t often don’t have any other native species or at least not any I need or have room for. So for my purposes they’re kind of hard to get.

128. Verbena hastata (blue vervain) Was off to a slow start this year, but it’s doing just fine now.

129. Viburnum acerifolium (mapleleaf viburnum) Next weekend!

130. Viburnum lentago (nannyberry) It’s doing fine, just fine, but I doubt I’ll get any berries for some time yet.

131. Viburnum nudum cassinoides (Witherod viburnum) A lovely little bush so far. Maybe I’ll get flowers next spring.

132. Viola adunca (hookedspur violet/western dog violet/early blue violet) Hopefully coming by the end of this month! My first go with this plant was not successful. Hopefully better luck this time.

133. Viola blanda (sweet white violet) Exactly what it says on the tin. There’s a delicate pink to the centre, and the foliage is nice too.

134. Viola canadensis (Canada violet) It’s tall for a violet, and spreading nicely with lots of flowers.

135. Viola labradorica (purple Labrador violet) Next weekend! Despite it’s name, it is also native to Ontario.

136. Viola sororia (wood violet/blue violet) This is most common violet you see generally, which makes it hard, though not impossible, to find in garden centres. However, they’ve planted themselves in the yard and I’ve successfully transferred one to one of the beds. I have other place I want to put the rest before I dig up that area.

137. Vitis riparia (riverbank grape) I have two plants because I didn’t realize when I bought it that hiding among the weeds in another part of the garden there already was one. Oh well. Guaranteed cross-pollination of two genetically diverse individuals. They’re both doing well.

138. Zizia aurea (golden alexanders) They’re doing well. It looks a lot like wild parsnip, which it is related to, but it’s much more friendly, and I ate some this spring.

I may be able to order more. We’ll see. One of my go-to places says they won’t ship until “opening day”. I guess they mean when their area reopens, but that might not be till next year. Meantime, I will continue to construct my garden wall in the back.

#garden #plants #native North American species #native species of Ontario

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testingcheats0n · 3 years

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Bran III

Ho ho ho, he he he. This chapter is pure magic.

Okay. In earlier analyses I was convinced that there is no difference between ravens and crows, or between Bloodraven and the Three-Eyed Raven. It's a given that they're one and the same, considering it's canon in the show and there are no outward contradictions in the books, but a certain theory by the Order if the Green Hand tells another story. From now on there will be a distinction between ravens, which are seen as benign and were used by Children of the Forest as means of communication (together with Bloodraven), and crows are associated with the long night, bad omens, and the three eyed crow itself. They confuse the two in the show, I have to keep it in mind.

Fly or die. What a bargain. Fucking bird, makes me want to pluck feathers. We see another confirmation of my "crows were actually luring Bran higher" because in the dream state he's in crows pester him constantly for corn.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Bran is scared, he's falling from a high high place and he thinks he will die. So far so good. It start inncoently enough but then a crow with three eyes comes by and starts pestering and frightening him. He is pushed towards leaving behind his humanity- learning to fly as a bird rather than live as a human- negative feelings are pushed away as he is urged to forget Jaime, he also appears to be under vigilance. My bet is that the ravenis actually with him irl.

The powers of the crow seem different to the ones of Bloodraven. He spies through the eyes if trees, there's nothing more grounded than that, while the crow promises Bran a bird's eye view up in the air untethered to the world. Air and Earth. Fire and Ice. From his high vantage point Bran sees all. Maester Luwin looking at the sky with a telescope- he's probably observing the comet. Then he sees Robb training- his transformation into a man. Catelyn looking at a dagger- the catalyst of the whole war. Sansa crying- either mourning her wolf or her future sorrows. Arya "holding secrets close to her heart"- Arya hiding, and fronting, having secret identities and motivations.

He sees a weirwood which stares back at him knowingly. But.... if that's Bloodraven, and the Three-Eyed Crow was just talking to Bran... then who's piloting the plane!? Lol ok, this was funny only to me. Isn't it a bit redundant for Bloodraven/the Crow to appear as the crow AND the tree in the same vision/dream/recruiting session? The Green Hand's theory stands.

Men and their shadows! My favorite metaphor. There's Sandor's shadow, and Jaime is mentioned (omg I wonder why, he's just a Prince Charming isn't he?). Then there was a mention of a giant made of stone?? Theorists say it's Robert Strong aka The Mountain, but... I don't quite see it? Maybe giant stone = mountain? Idk. It's just a cameo anyway.

Anyway. Bran sees Vaes Dothrak, and Asshai "where dragons stirred beneath the sunrise"

Oho hooo. Man, first I love Asshai- it's my favorite place in asoiaf Planetos after Old Valyria. it's mysterious and spooky, and it will be mentioned far too many times for it to not appear later on- I'll keep and eye on it. Second- what did that mean? Dragons stirring beneath the sunrise? I see several possibilities. Either A. There are Dragons at Asshai which is covered in ash, and all kinds of nasty noxious gasses. B. There were or used to be dragons at Valyria. C. there are Dragons beyond Asshai aka in the other side of the planetos which would be technically underneath the sunrise D. It refers to Dany and Viserys, but that's unlikely because they're not even close to Asshai. E. There are Dragonlords/Valyrians in Asshai which uuuuuuh maybe? We know nothing of the Doom and it has been hinted that there were Dragonriders before the goat herde- I mean- before the great Valyrians

Continuing. Bran sees a someone going pale and hard in the snow- my guess? Jon's death, because he's obviously looking north beyond the Wall. Alternatively, if we believe that the Weirwood possesses the ability to see the past and future and not the crow, Bran is seeing his uncle Benjen dying, the Wights returning, or even the Others themselves. Then he sees a curtain of light beyond the world which prevents him from seeing more. Cosmic horror anyone? Idk that sentence and imagery scared me a lot. Either the crow doesn't allow Bran to see what's happening in the lands of always winter which hold spooky things, or the crow is a limited pawn to some malicious cosmic being that watches over everything. Euron Greyjoy seems to closely tied with the latter, and Bloodraven does not... That is terrifying. Moving on.

Bran sees the impaled and frozen corpses of the dreamers who couldn't fly and died... Bloodraven was impaled on the weirwood- the Weirwood network absorbs those who fail the raven? Is there something symbiotic or is it an antagonistic thing? Does it even happen as I think it does? In any case, the crow pries on the dying, on the ones who "fall"... down on the ground... from up in the air. The Weirwoods absorb the dead, are related to death, an are related to the underground and the underneath, while the crow seemingly saves lives up in the air and floating by giving them wings? Uhhhh. I might be onto something. More thoughts on that later.

Finally. Bran flies.

#asoiaf chapter by chapter analysis #asoiaf reread #testing rereads asoiaf #asoiaf analysis #asoiaf theories #game of thrones theory #three eyed crow #bran iii

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gayworths · 3 years

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30 Questions

Rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

tagged by @arathesane, thank you! i don’t want to tag anyone but anyone who reads this is welcome to do it :)

answers under the cut

name/nickname: sarah, i have several nicknames but i don’t feel like listing them lol. most people just call me sarah or sar anyway.

gender: female.....ish. no further comment at this time

star sign: aquarius

height: 5′6 or 7

birthday: feb 12

time: 12:42pm

favorite bands: i have a lot and my memory is garbage so i’m mostly just gonna list some from my spotify wrapped/top 100 this year: abba, beach house, rilo kiley, the strokes, the national, fleetwood mac, talking heads, hole, arcade fire, boygenius, the mountain goats, florence + the machine, sleigh bells, sleater-kinney, blondie

favorite solo artists: ditto above: mitski, fiona apple, lorde, lucy dacus, laura marling, beyonce, dolly parton, carly rae jepsen, sufjan stevens, banks, kate bush, marina

song stuck in my head: champagne problems

last movie: last one i finished was the thin man goes home (i’m watching all of them this month). i’m currently watching women on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

last show: bsg rewatch. i’m about to finish s1 today.

when did i create this blog: jan 2011 💀

what do i post: mostly about the movies and shows i’m watching, lesbian stuff, whatever my current hyperfixations are (so currently rita hayworth, jane fonda, old hollywood, and agnès varda i guess)

last thing googled: mormonism (because i’m rewatching bsg lmao)

other blogs: uhh i have an ancient bsg sideblog that i never deleted, also a personal blog i made at one point before i got more into posting that kind of stuff on twitter. i also have a shameful number of urls saved.

do i get asks: sometimes! i always appreciate when i do

why i chose my url: it was a joke because i like rita hayworth and i’m gay. and then i just never changed it

following: 102

followers: 2145

average hours of sleep: honestly like 4-5

lucky number: 22

instruments: piano, flute, i can sort of play piccolo too

what am i wearing: black pajama pants, plain black t shirt, a blue plaid bathrobe that i stole from my mom

dream job: linguistics professor but like light on the professing, heavy on the research

dream trip: lately i’ve been wanting to go to iceland but frankly i’d love to go anywhere at this point. i’d fucking love to go to, like, the indiana dunes rn.

favorite food: oh god i don’t know

nationality: american

favorite song: i don’t know but spotify says i listened to space song by beach house like a billion times last year

last book read: i recently finished Olivia by Dorothy Bussy/Strachey. currently i’m listening to the audiobook of Persuasion. i started listening to the audiobook of The Thin Man but idk if i’ll finish it because it’s pretty horrifyingly misogynistic

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: the jacques demy cinematic universe, the redwall universe, and just like, inside the movie pride (2015) even though that’s kind of cheating because it’s based on a true story

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #308

“you don’t need treats, and you don’t need tricks, and you don’t need me.”

Middle name? Marie. Or Marie Catherine, if we're technical, but as someone who loooong left Catholicism and never even agreed with many aspects of it in the first place, I don't like to include it. If you're confused, there's a ceremony called Confirmation, and while I honestly don't even remember the details of it, you adopt the name of a saint you want to stand for, kinda. I chose Catherine just because I liked the name outta my other options. Democrat/republican/other? I classify myself as Independent because I really don't relate well enough to either, but I do know I'm becoming more and more liberal with time. Do you dress according to your mood? My mood? No. I dress with what I feel like wearing at that time, but my actual mood has nothing to do with it. Are you good at doing hair/make up? No. Are you always worried or stressed about something? 24/7, my friend. Can you swim? Yeah. Are you afraid of needles? I don't like them, but I'm not afraid of them. How many kids do you want? Zero. Long/short nails? I keep mine short. Do you like wearing hats? No. Does mall Santa Clauses or Easter bunnies freak you out? Nah, I loved seeing Santa as a kid. :') Would you consider yourself clumsy? I am RIDICULOUSLY clumsy. Do you like when a guy picks you up in his arms? In concept, but I ain't easy to pick up anymore lmao. Do you like hairless cats? I do!! Females, anyway, for... obvious reasons lol. Not having fur makes some things waaay too ~obvious~ otherwise. I would love a sphynx. Do you like the color yellow? No; it's actually one of my most disliked colors. Have you ever seen a cat have a hairball? Yeah. Have you ever had a tooth pulled? Not by a dentist, no, just by myself as a kid when I was losing my baby teeth. When someone says don’t look do you look? It depends on why they're telling me to not look. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. If you had to name three important details about you, what would you say? I'm a very emotional person, I need a lot of "me" time, and to be aware of my social anxiety so not every interaction I have is perceived as just a dumpster fire. What are your three biggest insecurities? My creativity, my goddamn body, and my lack of social skills. If you could write anonymous letters to three people, who would you send it to and what would you say? Ummm. I can only think of people I miss and don't WANT to be anonymous... Favorite photo of yourself? A senior prom picture I don't have anymore. I looked so, so happy and fuck my low self-esteem, gorgeous. Who are you disappointed with right now? I'm like, permanently disappointed in myself lol. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? No. My minimum is 21. What question do you hate to answer? "Are you a virgin?" because it's just a confusing answer. It doesn't sound like one at all, but trust me on this. The subject of sex just makes me uncomfortable anyway, so even if I was confident in the answer, I wouldn't want to talk about it. What’s your most listened to song? I don't have a way of actually finding that out, but I'd say I've been listening to "ULTRAnumb" by Blue Stahli quite a lot lately. If you were a performing artist, what would you title your first album? I mean, I don't know. It would depend on what was going on in my life and head at the time. If someone told you you could give one person a present and your budget was unlimited–what present would you get and for whom? A nice car for Mom. She's had the same shitty car for yeeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss now because she just can't afford a new one; hell, this one was free. A dance friend hit a deer, so the front of the car is messed up, and she bought a new one, but because the car itself was still functional, she gave it to my mom. Mom is so loved at the studio. The car just has various issues by this point, like trouble starting, accelerating, it's bumpy, etc., so it's way past time for a new one. Do you like licorice? NOOOOOOOOOO that's a big 'ole "ew." Have you ever visited your country’s capital city? No, but I've seen it from a distance when riding up to NY. When was the last time you were outdoors for over an hour? WOW. I couldn't even try to guess. What is the shortest amount of time you’ve lived somewhere? The house I was born into. I actually don't know how long Mom and Dad lived there, but I was only in that house as a very little baby. I have zero memories of it. What’s your favorite kind of mint? (Peppermint/wintergreen/spearmint/etc.) ... There's a difference? lol I guess peppermint? What was the last thing to frustrate you? I wanted to draw yesterday, but I didn't know what to draw to even get started. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Did any of your family members serve in WWII? I don't believe so? Well... maybe my grampa did? I don't remember. What’s your favorite kind of salad? Gimme an Olive Garden salad and I will deadass eat the whole bowl. Are you more realistic or idealistic? I'd say I'm more realistic with most things. Are you currently borrowing something from someone? No. Is anyone currently borrowing anything from you? No. What is your last name’s heritage/country of origin? Ireland. When did you last buy a new pair of shoes? What kind? I got new flipflops a year or so back because my old Rainbows were so worn out and blackened my feet. Have you ever experienced culture shock while traveling? If so, where? No. Are you able to see the stars at night where you live? I actually haven't checked since moving here. We're in the suburbs though, so it's questionable. Do you include your middle initial in your signature? Not unless it's required, usually. I think. When's the last time I physically signed anything, anyway? What brand of computer do you have? It's an Acer Nitro. What operating system does that computer run? Windows 10. What’s the oldest piece of clothing that you still own and wear? I don't really know, given how much my weight has fluctuated. Went drastically up, went down, now it's back up. .-. I still own a handful of shirts I want to "shrink back into" from late HS and early college times, but yeah, I don't know if I'll actually achieve that. Is the area in which you live flat, hilly, or mountainous? Flat as my ass. What is your significant other or best friend’s ring tone? No one on my phone has a "special" ringtone. Where do you keep your hair brush? There's a comb I use in a drawer in the bathroom. Which pair of shoes have you owned the longest? Multiple pairs of Converse, also from high school. When’s the last time you were sick at the same time as someone else? I'm very happy to say I don't even recall the last time I was sick. My immune system is the fuckin GOAT. What did you have for breakfast this morning? A pb&j. We've got very little rn, but thankfully Mom's picking up our Wal-Mart order today. Last time you were in pain? If I'm standing, you can bet my legs hurt, so. What color is your mom’s hair? It's growing back totally gray now. Is that also your hair color? Well, no, I'm only 25. Do you watch any daily vloggers on YouTube? Who? No. I watch people who vlog occasionally, but not regularly. It's gotta be people I'm very into to really be interested in vlogs. What room of your house do you usually do your surveys in? Sigh, I'm always in my bedroom. Really hoping Mom and I muster up the motivation to clean up the extra room soon to turn it into my "dayroom" or "office," if you will. What do you put on your tacos? I hate tacos. What is your favorite stuffed animal and where did you get it? I have a bittersweet connection to the adorable plush meerkat Jason gave me for Valentine's our first year together; I always slept with it when we were together by apart, and for a year or so after the breakup. It was a source of comfort for me, so I'm really fond of it. Fella's fur is so worn out and matted down with age and lots of love. He's on my dresser now, towards the front of all my plushies. Last thing you hung up on your wall? My Illidan poster, I believe. Do you have a full length mirror? Yeah, on the back of my door. Is it currently raining? No, finally. It's been raining for like a fuckin week, it seems like. It's finally a clear day. It's nice to hear birds outside. Does anyone you live with talk in their sleep? Does this happen often? I'M the one doing the talking/screaming in my sleep. Thanks, nightmares. When was the last time you cried, or felt tearful? I'm not positive, but I know I had a pretty rough PTSD night not too long ago where I teared up. Did you wake up with a song stuck in your head today? What was it? Ohhh yes; I've been listening to Mother Mother's "Ghosting" on repeat because it's jammed up there. When was the last time you used moisturiser or lotion of some kind? Not too long ago on my hands. They get dry this time of year, and besides, I wash my hands a lot nowadays especially. What was the last thing you owned, that was accidentally broken or damaged? Were you able to get it fixed? My laptop, and yes. Tell me about the last dream you recall having. Was it weird, amusing, etc. So this is pretty wild. I know I had a nightmare last night, but I don't remember it; the night before, however, I had a nightmare about a possibly rabid and ginormous rat (I mean like, smaller dog sized) in the house and trying to bite me. It was SUPER weird, because I was actually afraid of it, yet I absolutely adore rats in real life. What was the last video you watched on YouTube? I've really gotten into John Wolfe (a let's player) lately, and I'm going through his The Evil Within playthrough. Do your parents use any social media at all? My mom has a Facebook, and hilariously, Dad has a Snapchat to talk with my sister Nicole. He has no clue what he's doing with it and it's adorable, haha. Mom also has a Twitter, but she doesn't use it. Is there anyone in your life who regularly asks how your day has been? Regularly, no. I've always been that person, especially in the WoW guild I'm in. I'm very close and comfortable with them and ask how everyone's doing any time I log on. Lovely people who give me some social interaction every day. Tell me something positive about the day you've had. It's still early, but once again, it's pretty and bright outside. Why do you prefer Facebook over MySpace, because I know you do? Ha, you'd be incorrect. MySpace was more personal, so I actually preferred it. But it's obviously long-dead, so I just settle with Facebook. Have you read the Pretty Little Liars series? No. My sister looooves it, though. What product do you use to moisturize your lips? I don't remember, actually... It's in my purse somewhere. When did you start using Xanga? I never have. Be honest, do you judge people on their appearance? Judge, I don't think so. I can make assumptions like everyone else, but I'm not gonna think someone is beneath me just by their attire. Do you know anyone who does not like The Beatles? Me. At least, most songs. "Hey Jude" is good, but everyone agrees with that, haha. Did you have a friend in middle school that you’re now enemies with in high school? I'm long since out of HS. I had a middle school friend who I disconnected with following a fight in high school, but we weren't "enemies," and we reunited our senior year anyway. Aaaaand we're not friends anymore once again lmao. What is one thing you hope your children don’t inherit from you? If I hypothetically wanted kids, God knows I'd hope they wouldn't have my psychological issues. Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years? It'd be nice, anyway. What type of foundation do you wear? None. Who’s the most controlling person you know? Someone I'm no longer friends with, partially because of this. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Yep. Are you for or against guyliner? Ugggghhhhh guyliner makes me weak in the knees. How many jobs have you had? Where do you currently work? Three; nowhere. Who did you last hit? Um, nobody??? What way of self-care do you enjoy the most and what feels more like an obligation? I enjoy my alone time on the computer as the best self-care, especially after being social all day; I don't, however, enjoy the act of performing hygiene care. I still do it, it's just not fun. The feeling afterwards is great, though. Have you ever tried specific diet plans or fads? What made you do it and how did it turn out for you? I was briefly using NutriSystem, which didn't work for me. I hated too much of the food. More recently I stuck with flexible dieting and calorie counting for a while, but I drifted from it when I still lost no fucking weight in like a month. I want to get back to it, though... oh, and intermittent fasting. I don't think it really worked for me yet again, even though I did it correctly, but that and the aforementioned flexible dieting is all I feel like I can handle. I guess I just have to give it longer. Do you know anyone who has been directly affected by COVID-19 e.g. testing positive, losing a loved one, or their job due to the pandemic? Too many people I know have had it or had someone they loved die because of it. Take this shit seriously. Is there a kind of music you only prefer listening to during specific type of activities that you otherwise wouldn’t enjoy under normal circumstances (e.g. EDM while doing sports or instrumental music while studying, etc.)? No; I have to actually enjoy the music. If you had to start a YouTube channel and motivations/skills/resources/any other inhibiting factors weren’t an issue, what would it be about? Either animal (preferrably reptiles) education or let's plays, ig. Has anything ever happened to you that if you told someone about, they would think you’re making it up? I don't believe so. What travel destination or popular spot have you been to that you found overrated? What about a lesser known place that you thought was a hidden gem? I really don't know; I haven't traveled nearly enough for this.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''ghosting'' by mother mother

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izzy-b-hands · 4 years

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Hard Waves At Dawn

A random snapshot with the reader from You Send Me and Freddie. Blame me listening to the album Goths by The Mountain Goats for the first time tonight for this one. I try and save certain albums until the right moment, and it seems this was the right one for it. Listen to it, in order, to get the vibe of this fic. Title comes from the song on there titled ‘Wear Black.’

Ngl, very deep in my own mind and thoughts of the future as I wrote this. It probably shows, but that’s par the course for my writing now I fear lol.

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“I won’t make you come home.”

The rain poured, and you jumped at the loudness of the thunder. “You shouldn’t have to.”

Freddie shrugged, and scooted closer to you on the stone bench. The park was empty except for the two of you; everyone else had run home as soon as the rain had started to come down fast enough to hurt.

“That’s it?”

He nodded. “I know that, and you know it. What more is there to say about it?”

“Maybe not more to say about that,” you replied. “But what about everything else?”

You let his arm slip around you and pull you close. “I think you need to talk about that. Or you wouldn’t have gone running out here before I was even awake.”

You had left the flat you shared with Freddie at five in the morning, in a daze. You weren’t sure exactly what had set it off this time, and it was an impulse you usually ignored or were able to repress. The one that made you panic for the future, left you pacing the flat over things that were arguably not worth worrying about as much as you did, made you feel like taking night walks that never ended, not caring where you might end up or if you’d make your way back home again.

You were in clothes that normally never left the house, clothes that were Lounge About the House and Do Nothing category. You didn’t look wildly out of place to anyone else, but you knew it was a sign to Freddie.

He didn’t indulge these moments, exactly. He accepted them, and rode them out with you, and occasionally gave advice or distractions if you requested or seemed to need it. But most of the time, it was this. Finally prompting that vat of nonsense and fear and pain and sadness that had settled into some sort of aching black hole in your chest before you could recall knowing what depression even was, to spill.

“It’s stupid,” you muttered, and he chuckled.

“Good start.”

“It is though,” you protested. “This is what I’ve wanted. Stability. I’ve worked towards it since I was like...fourteen. And never had it, never had it, couldn’t reach it, wasn’t qualified for it, couldn’t afford it, all that. And now here it is, and it’s fine, and my dumb fucking head is still like this.”

He didn’t speak, but took your hand in his, rubbing gently at it with his thumb.

“What am I waiting for? Why do I feel like the other shoe is going to drop? The shoes are on and tied and I’m waiting to trip. And for what? Why? Why can’t I just be happy all the time? It isn’t always like this, it recedes like the tide but when it comes back I-”

The rain washes the tears off your face as fast as they can fall.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Freddie asked. “I think a lot of us are doing that, in one way or another.”

“But it’s like I’m doubting this good thing I have, from you to my job to everything-”

“Not on purpose,” he interrupted. “The mind clicks along, and doubt is a track it falls on from time to time. I know you don’t seriously doubt us, or your job with the band. Do you know how I know that?”

You shook your head.

“Because you don’t leap for things that feel like too big of a risk unless you see enough security available in the thing you’re leaping towards. You would never have so much as kept looking my way, or stayed on with us, if you didn’t feel secure despite any little doubts or fears that any rational person might have from time to time.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he shushed you softly.

“Y/N. You turned down an ice cream yesterday because you were afraid it might have something you were allergic to in it. We had a full list of ingredients, but because the shop couldn’t verify how current it was, you left without anything. If you can turn away from something that simple, don’t you think you would have been long gone by now, if you had true doubts about anything else in your life right now?”

“...you make a good point,” you acknowledged.

“Every now and again,” he smiled, the small shy smile that came around only when he was being vulnerable. He looked even more gorgeous than usual when he wore it. “And you know what?”

“You have doubts too?”

“All the fucking time,” he sighed. “The work on the next album alone! You’ve heard me, hell you’ve worked me through some of those fits-”

“Not fits, exactly,” you interrupted.

“Tantrums?” he asked with a grin.

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” you said with a smile. “Or I’ll have to kiss you and replace them with something else.”

He kissed you anyway, and the scent of his usual cologne mixed with the rain smelled like the home you had always wanted, dreamed of, yearned for, worked so damn hard to get that you couldn’t believe you’d let your mind trap you into any worries about it.

You leaned into his embrace, wincing only a little as the rain somehow fell harder. “I’m sorry I left without leaving a note or anything. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Out of everyone,” Freddie said. “You are one of the few people I don’t worry about leaving me out of the blue. And I could tell last night you were feeling a bit...how to put it? Twitchy isn’t the right word-”

“Like there was an itch in my brain I couldn’t scratch,” you filled in.

“Exactly,” Freddie said, pushing his wet hair away from where it just barely touched his forehead. “Were we due for a storm?”

“Maybe,” you replied. “I certainly was, apparently.”

“It had been a couple of months,” Freddie nodded.

“God, you’ve got my depression cycle mapped. We’re domestic,” you laughed. “I love it, though I don’t love that I have something like that you have to keep track of.”

“Don’t have to keep track of it,” he said. “I do it because I want to make sure you’ve got support whenever it hits. How long did you deal with it alone, or with minimal support? You’ve got me, and the boys, and so many others now. It would be more than a shame, it would be a crime, to care about you and not be mindful of this.”

He held a hand up before you could speak. “And before you go on with that ‘but I can’t expect others to take care of me all the time’ talk, I know. That’s not our goal, and I think you know that. But I also think you’re afraid of it sometimes, because you’ve not had anything like it before. Support, not to hold you up 24/7, but to help carry you when you need it, and you do the same in return. Equal give and take.”

You nodded. “You are an exceptionally wise man, you know that?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know about that. I try, same as anyone else.”

“You underestimate yourself with things like this,” you said. “You don’t do it with anything else. The rest of the persona the confidence flows, but you sell yourself short here. You shouldn’t.”

“You do the same thing,” he said with a smirk. “Can’t argue that anymore than I can, can you?”

“No wonder we get on so well,” you said. “Perfectly capable until we’re vulnerable in the rain, and then it all melts away.”

He nods. “It’s nice though, isn’t it? To have someone to let the mask down around so severely. No need to hang onto it, in case someone walks in the room that would make you bring it back up.”

“It really is,” you sighed. “I think it’s hailing a bit.”

He brushed a hand through his dampened curls, and melting pea-sized pebbles of ice shook out. “It is definitely hailing.”

“We should almost definitely go home,” you murmured. “I haven’t seen any lightening, but probably not safe all the same.”

“You can’t tell me that you’ve never wanted to be out in a storm like this, in one of these moments of yours,” Freddie said. “Why not give it five more minutes?”

“And if lightening shows up, and hits us?”

“Then I hope they leave the burned outline of our corpses here on this bench as a memorial,” Freddie said with a cheeky grin.

“Me too,” you said. “I wouldn’t mind a death and a memorial like that.”

“Better than some, and certainly as good as some others,” Freddie nodded. “You know you’re going to be fighting a cold off after this, right?”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “You’ve already bought me cans of my favorite soup, haven’t you?”

“Two days ago, had Brian pick them up and bring them by,” Freddie replied. “He asked how I could possibly know.”

“And you told him not to worry about it, and that he’d get it some day?”

“Bless, you’ve got my most cryptic answers down to a T,” he said. “That was exactly it. Bet you can’t guess the rest of my master plan though.”

“To make me soup for the next three days, and keep me sat resting on the couch, except for when we’re napping together in the bed?”

“Almost all of it,” he said. “You missed the bit where I make sure we get a walk outside in. The sun will help, and I know you won’t go out without me.”

“Thank you,” you said, jumping at an even louder clap of thunder. “There has got to be lightening nearby.”

“Maybe,” he agreed. “And for what? The soup? That was nothing, really.”

“All of this,” you said, pressing your face into the wet material of his jacket near his neck. “Taking care of me. Being with me. Loving me despite this stupid shit my brain does, that I can’t always rein in as well as I’d like.”

“It’s good work,” he said. “Work I like. Because you do the same work for me. It’s steady, and it all evens out, even when everything else is...decidedly less so.”

“The ebb and flow of the tide, and the two of us as the typhoon,” you murmured.

“You should do something with that,” he said. “I like it.”

“You know I don’t write like that anymore.”

“But you could. Write it down when we get home, just in case. You never know what you’ll find to do on the side in between tours, after all,” he said, and stood slowly, only to duck down as larger hail started to drop hard and fast, as if someone in the sky had overturned a huge bucket of it. “Shall we go now, before you forget it?”

“I think better we leave so we don’t end up with bruises,” you laughed, taking his hand as you stood. “I’m ready to go home.”

#text post #LeeH writes #queen band fic #freddie mercury x reader #freddie mercury x male reader

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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761.

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? >> Yeah, Sparrow does.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? >> Sure.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? >> Absolutely not, I live on the third floor. --Well, I could climb out, and I might even survive, but... let’s just say it’s pretty goddamn risky. Anyway, I’m an adult and I don’t have to sneak out of my own apartment, so it’s irrelevant.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? >> ---

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? >> Depends on the food. Some foods are pretty easy to dupe and it’s not a problem, but not all of them.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? >> No, dude.

If a stranger went in your bedroom, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? >> I don’t know what someone would guess, it depends on what people use as markers for gender. Besides, I don’t subscribe to a specific gender, so whatever they’d guess would be wrong regardless.

Are your parents gullible? >> ---

Do you still own a VCR? >> I’ve never owned a VCR. By the time I left home, DVDs had won the battle.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? >> I haven’t spent any money on food. Sparrow’s unemployment checks have paid for the groceries, because just one of those was still more than I get in a month.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? >> I mean, of course the Inworlders would care.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? >> I wouldn’t go anywhere, right now. But in general, I still have no idea where I would go. I’ve always hated shoe shopping, almost more than I hate other clothes shopping.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? >> The last pair of shoes I got were about $70 or $80. I didn’t buy them, Sparrow did.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? >> Silver. No, Sparrow’s Best Buy card bought it.

Do you have a second home? >> No.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? >> A little, yeah, because the last time I saw her smoke anything was back when I first got here and was still a smoker myself.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? >> The smell of cigarettes can be repulsive to me, which I’ve heard is pretty common amongst ex-smokers. Also, my sensory defensiveness is higher than it used to be, so. The smell of beer doesn’t usually repulse me, but that can vary depending on what kind of day I’m having. The smell of weed is often too strong for my liking, but I don’t necessarily hate it. I just can’t be around it for too long because of, I repeat, sensory defensiveness.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? >> ---

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? >> Well, duh. Just like I probably have plenty of misconceptions about other people.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? >> Yeah.

Do you like waffles? >> Yeah.

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? >> That... seems like one hell of a hobby.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? >> I find them fun and interesting and cool to look at and talk about and learn about. I guess that can be summed up under “attractive”.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? >> I always talk to people I don’t know on the internet, it’s kind of part of the experience (unless you just never use the social aspect of the internet).

How often do you drink Monster? >> Never, I hate Monster.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? >> Maybe. I don’t really remember doing so, but it’s a possibility.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? >> No, but I vaguely remember them.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? >> I don’t think I prefer one or the other by itself -- it’s usually a combination of different elements that determines whether I’ll sit on the inside or the outside of a booth.

Do you own a nightgown? >> No.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? >> No.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? >> No.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? >> ---

Have you ever had sex or something like it? >> Yes to... both?

Have you ever read a George Orwell book? >> No, because though I started it, I never finished 1984.

Have you ever worn fishnets? >> Yeah, many times.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have? >> Two [sets of] piercings and three tattoos.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? >> ---

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? >> No.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? >> I’d definitely rather go out to eat, thanks.

Do you always wear your seat belt? >> Yeah. What’s funny is I was never made to wear one as a child. I had to get used to seatbelts in adulthood. I... have no idea why that is. Not a good look, though.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? >> Sure.

Have you ever been in a play? >> Yeah, once.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? >> I mean, I wouldn’t call them “secrets” because it’s not that deep, but yeah, there are plenty of things the average acquaintance doesn’t know about me.

Is there ice cream in your freezer? >> Yeah.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? >> Probably.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? >> Yeah, that’s kind of how I feel about The Mountain Goats. The lyrics always seem interesting, but then I listen to the song itself and I’m like “bleh...”

Does your bathroom have a window? >> No, and god, I’d give an organ for a bathroom with a fucking window.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? >> No.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? >> No.

Who was the last band you saw live? >> Hozier and crew.

Do you believe prayer really works? >> It depends on what you expect prayer to do. I think it works greatly for focusing one’s mind and will, for feeling connected to whatever numinous force you’re into, and for the meditative effect. I also think it works to calm one down, to relieve stress, that sort of thing -- which can be helpful when you’re trying to heal from an illness or something, when you think about the body holistically. Now, if you want to claim that prayer literally causes divine power to come out of the universe and, say, completely eradicate a person’s cancer... well, I mean, I just don’t know about that, is all.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? >> No.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? >> I used to love frosted mini-wheats... it’s been forever since I had those.

Have you been on a date in the park? >> Something like that.

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? >> Something like that.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? >> ---

Do you have asthma? >> Nope. I should have, almost everyone else born in my area at that time period was riddled with respiratory ailments. Bad air up in Elizabethport.

Are tongue piercings slutty? >> Sigh.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? >> That’s basically a foundational criterion for me to consider someone attractive, lmfao.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you? >> No one takes off my pants except me.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? >> No.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? >> Absolutely.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? >> No.

Least favorite alcoholic drink? >> Hmm... I guess gin. Rarely will I drink a gin-based cocktail.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? >> Maybe? I don’t know.

How did you meet the last male you texted? >> ---

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? >> No.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? Left. I had to mime that. <-- lol yeah, same.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose? >> I mean, yeah, more or less.

Do you and your dad get along? >> :|

Can you see your purse right now? >> ---

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? >> No.

Are there products in your hair? >> No.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? >> Sometimes, when I get aggravated enough.

Do you actually like sneezing? >> No.

Have you taken a shower yet today? >> No.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? >> ---

Do you wear skirts a lot? >> No.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot? >> I don’t have enough pairs to wear them a lot, but let me tell you, if I had more they’re pretty much all I would wear as far as outside clothing goes.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? >> I have three pairs, I don’t have to guess.

Do you like hoodies? >> I love hoodies.

Big ones or the form fitting kind? >> Big ones.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? >> I never wear polo shirts.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? >> No.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? >> I mean, I don’t necessarily feel great about everything I’ve done, but I’m not going to obsess about it either. All I can do is try to learn from my mistakes moving forward, and hope my brain doesn’t turn on me and make me do more things I’ll have to learn from. I don’t know, man, “regret” just doesn’t feel like a thing I fully comprehend.

Do you love your computer? >> I sure do. Both of them.

Do you drink coffee? >> No.

Do you basically like all of your clothes? >> Sure. When I stop liking them, I get rid of them.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? >> Either by myself or with Sparrow.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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tare-chan · 5 years

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Spideychelle time!

Ok so now time for my spesific Spideychelle in FFH review :) It really took me this long to write cause… well… real life needs priorities ^^;

so anyway… beware of the long post under the cut

Okay, so when I read the news about the making of Spider Man FFH around October, when they shoot the Spideychelle scenes that’s placed in the very end of the movie, my hope for Spidyechelle being canon in FFH skyrocketed.

and finally, when I saw it on screen, I have to say, I’m pleased :D Thank you Jon Watts!

A little dissapointed that we didn’t get to see what happened right after the blip. I mean, surely the victim of the blip will be very confused, and shared the same trauma. We did see Aunt May raised a fund raiser for the blip’s victim. I was hoping to see how MJ would react to the blip, and what will be her reaction in seeing Peter and Ned still the same age at her. Surely they will become the best trio…… But then again, perhaps the script writer decided to leave those times to the fanfic authors?? ^^

Anyway, the first thing I noticed about Spideychelle moments were, everytime Peter interact with MJ, the bgm played the same song that played at the london bridge scene :D Awww…. totally love that bgm! Soft tunes and romantic….

So, the first scene we had was Peter telling Ned his plans, and MJ come to literally says hello to them :D This is one big step for MJ. She now feels comfortable enough to approach Peter and Ned. We already seen how akward Peter and MJ were in this scene. Did anyone noticed that MJ was a bit dissapointed when she heard that “Peter has plan”? Perhaps she thought Peter has plan to… approach European women? or something else? She looked relieved when the conversation went south, with those little spoon collecting things, and thus leaving the boys by giving them advice about VPN. Ned claimed that the conversation went well….. while we of course see that those didn’t went well at all XD

Next, the plane scene. For the first time on screen did we see MJ cleverly defended Peter from Flash. And the highlight moment when Peter acknowledge her actions. His expression was priceless. The little smiles and adoration eyes… that immediately changed into dislike upon seeing Brad. (oohh Peter… you’re so cute!!) Then we saw Ned being the best BFF trying to become the wingman, and execute the ‘sit next to each other’ plan, that went horribly wrong. ^^; (I laugh so hard at that scene). We can see MJ was curious when Ned tell Betty to switch seat with Peter, and that curiosity turned into annoyed expression when at the end MJ needs to sit besides Brad. But she managed to control herself (as always), and tried to enjoy the ride. Unlike Peter whose face clearly showed how disappointed he was.

The bathroom scene were also very sweet. Peter was so terribly awkward, but he still tried to did his best, and give his best for MJ. The confused MJ unfortunately didn’t get the ‘coded message’, thus leaving a high hope Peter face to face with….. Brad XD Lol!!

Then the boat scene. Where Peter stared at MJ too long, that MJ started to look back. I think that’s when MJ started to understand that maybe Peter’s unto something. She’s very observant after all. But, as a very guarded person, she won’t be reckless or she will be hurt. Thus she still cope with whatever thing Brad has to offer, before ditching him, and went to have espresso. I think, she needs that espresso to ‘encourage’ her to approach Peter (she usually just drink tea). After all, we did see her waited at the pillar, until Peter showed up. Of course her intention was to confront Peter about that little gift, but in her subtle way, by sharing her knowledge about that magic word ‘Bo’. Perhaps that’s a very subtle message to Peter too…. “that’s my super power”?? Get it? MJ of course already suspect Peter was Spider-Man for so long.

Then the Hydro-Man appeared. I love how both Peter and MJ jumped in to rescue Ned and Betty. They’re very brave!! In this scene, like my post from long time a go, noticed that MJ’s eyes didn’t actually looked at the monster, but rather at the boys before her. She must’ve noticed the conversation, thus holding Ned arms to lead them away from the dangerous zone. She didn’t look back, or search for Peter, because she already know (or suspect) that Peter could handle it on his own. And it’s her job to make sure Ned and Betty were okay.

After that, the camera only focused on Peter, and the rest of the group who went to the closed museum. We didn’t get to see where MJ was….. there’s a possibility that she sneak around to watch Peter from a far. (just like the scene at the carnaval in Prague).

Later we see that Peter once again tried to execute his plan, and asked MJ to went with him at their next destination. Eiffel tower in Paris. And MJ liked the idea! But of course, she has to stated another dark information regarding the tower, just to mess with Peter. She really love his petrified expression, didn’t she? Only this time, MJ always relieved Peter by immediately stating the positive things. Like how she actually love Eiffel tower. Aww….. I really like this development from her part.

The bus scene! Once again we see how MJ tried to being nice with Brad. But at a certain point, she choose her book instead. And at the ‘Baby mountain Goat’ scheme Peter did, did anyone noticed that MJ didn’t buy it at all?? Everyone else went to the window side, but MJ sit still in her seat. And when Peter were confronted by Betty, we can see that MJ kinda ‘glared’ at Peter from the top of her book. And MJ keep sending Peter an “annoyed stare”, several times after that: when Brad tried to showed her ‘that’ photo, when Mr. Harrington briefed the kid at the hotel lobby and Peter’s phone rings. I’m guessing MJ started to piece things together and a little bit annoyed that Peter’s spider things hijacked their vacation, and there’s possibility dragged them all to danger things.

From this scene onward, we did see how MJ build up her courage to interact with Peter. The silent looking at each other when they walked to the opera house, then she compliment him pretty, and she even managed to asked Peter to sit with her! Totally love how MJ didn’t immediately accept Peter’s rejection as ‘rejection’, but tried to confirm what he meant by ‘no’. Especially since MJ must’ve noticed Peter fumbled with something in his ear. And when Peter didn’t showed up at her side, MJ now run after him!! I saw these as a great growth from her part. Sure at this point, I think MJ was still confused at her own feeling, as in whether she actually want Peter because she likes him, or whether she was intrigued by Peter’s alter ego and want to confront him for confirmation.

Judging by what happened at their night walk at that bridge in Prague, I’m guessing MJ leans to the later excuse. Now, this is one of my favorite (angsty) scene. Noticed her expression when she cut Peter’s confession. She was so proud of herself, pointing at Peter’s disappearance that’s corresponds with Spider-Man’s appearance, she even scoffed at Peter’s lame excuses, and her expression when she took out her ‘proof’ was such a ‘happy - proud - managed to solved a problem - you can’t make anymore excuses’ one.

Knowing he was caught, Peter went silent. But what weigh him more was that harsh truth that apparently MJ didn’t like him back for what he is. He can’t help but wear the ‘extremely’ disappointed expression. His heart literally broken to pieces there. He has sold his favorite toys to buy the beautiful necklace for her, he has prepared all those plans, he has mustered all courage he has to tell her his feeling, but apparently, all of that was wrong!! His broken ‘so…. you’ve been watching me, because you thought I was Spider-Man?” part was soooo well played by Tom, that I can’t help but feel the boy’s pain. Poor Peter… :,(

On the other part, MJ instantly knew that she’s stepped the boundaries. Her facial expression changed from proud to ‘regret’ in split second! (bless Zendaya and her acting prowess). She shouldn’t pushed Peter to admit his secret, a thing that she should know was something so important to him for a reason. She shouldn’t snoop into other people business, especially when said people purposely hide it from others. And at that moment, I believe MJ suddenly aware that Peter has feeling for her. That part scared her, especially since she are now confused at her own feeling. Guilt mixed in that. Thus she escape to the things she never did, she lied.

Thankfully, the projector butt in, and the conversation could be put on hold. And Peter’s rational- responsible part, made him not to dwell much on his broken heart things, but to immediately prioritize his actions. Thus he confirmed MJ’s suspicions, cause he needs to do something to fixed his mistakes fast. MJ’s was taken back with this sudden change of behavior. Apparently she rarely see Peter’s taken charge and now things need to be done. I totally love how they ‘solved’ this Mysterio is a fraud problem together. They’re both very smart!!

at this scene, we could also see how MJ still feels guilty to pushed Peter and snooped at his secret, that she, in her own way of course, reconfirmed Peter’s decision to tell her about his alternate ego. I’m pretty sure MJ wasn’t only 67% sure that Peter’s Spider-Man, but she was asking whether it’s okay for Peter to let her know his secret. That he trust her enough to hold the secret. And Peter said ok, that he trust her enough not to tell people. Despite her excitement for receiving Peter’s secret, MJ can’t helped but being overwhelmed by so many possibilities of danger that haunted them while they’re on vacation, thus she rambled. And this is one rare occasion when Peter was calm enough, while MJ’s mind going crazy. Just to point the fact that Peter already has so many more experiences with ‘danger super hero things’ than MJ was.

We can see how MJ still worried over things and still can’t think of what to do next, back at Peter’s hotel room, while Peter already has clearer idea of what he has to do. This lead to a funny scene where Peter changes in front of MJ, then get embarrassed. While on MJ part, we finally see the raging hormone teen in usually stoic MJ. LOL! totally love this part. And as already stated by other tumblr account, we did see the extreme changes in MJ, how she can relax and let down her mask in front of Peter, but quickly put them back on while in front of Ned. (again, amazing acting Ms. Z!)

After that we skipped into an angsty part from Peter’s own little adventure. But it still showed how Peter still has deep feelings towards MJ. No matter what has happened, no matter that (he thought) MJ didn’t like him back, he still has strong feelings towards her: The illusion scene where he still jumped after the illusion MJ, and when he asked Happy to give MJ the necklace. Those are deep feeling, I refuse to called it puppy love. Peter really really like MJ. :,( my poor boy….

On the other hand, I love to see how fast MJ adapt being the FOS, a.k.a being the closest persons to Spider-Man, the persons whose chance of being hurt as collateral damage are high. And I love seeing her being the more calmed person than Ned, and still can think clearly despite the chaos in front of her: she shoved Flash to move and away from the danger, she being the person noticed that they might be the target of Mysterio’s drones, she questioned who Happy was, and her idea of using the mace. I’m guessing despite her snarky sarcasm exterior, she was scared, and extremely worried for Peter’s safety. She might have just finally brave enough to admit it to herself, that she actually really like Peter in a romantic way. Especially when Happy at some point, gave her the necklace, that could be seen as Peter’s parting gift. She might be very scared for not being able to meet him again, to finally tell him the truth about her feeling. Especially, since she has lied to him before. Thus we saw her immediately darted out of the vault, the second things seems went under control.

I love how the camera zoomed out, to show MJ being the lone figure that moved between the remnants of destruction at the bridge. It showed how determined MJ was to find Peter, and to make sure he was alive. And it leads to the scene, where a ‘non hugger’ MJ, literally throw herself into Peter’s arm, and hugged him tight. Cause he’s alive. Noticed that MJ was still new to this worrying things, that she didn’t managed to call Peter’s name throughout her adrenaline rush, and stumbled on her words, stuttering and all when explaining what happened. While the more experienced Peter was calmed enough and managed to call her name, and asked coherent questions regarding everyone’s safety. . :)

But the table turned fast, when it’s time for them to talked about feelings. It’s Peter’s turn to stumbled on his words, and tried to apologize for every stupid plans he has made, the broken necklace, with thought that he has assumed things on his end. He was already accepted the ‘fact’ that MJ didn’t like him like that, and his gift and plans will make it awkward, between them.

But, of course MJ need to stop his thoughts, and one effective way to silenced a rambling Peter was with a peck in the lips. And it was effective! MJ was observant after all :D Then we saw how MJ really struggled to showed all her inner fears, and at the end, she really really like Peter for who he was, with flaws and in such a ‘broken’ state.

A very relieved Peter (look at his expression! Tom… oh my oh my… what a wonderful acting!) finally managed to tell MJ his feeling, that reciprocates! *sniffles*.

And at the movie end, we saw the romance bloomed beautifully, and both of them understand each other so well, but them still being themselves :,) MJ still teases Peter and being a blunt honest, with a hint of soft (”well… except me… “, her texting “don’t swing and text”) and Peter accept MJ for who she was.

All in all… the development of Spideychelle in FFH was wonderful, and I shouldn’t asked for more…. (but I really hope there’s more!!) I can’t thank Jon Watts enough for this wonderful development, and for Tom and Zendaya for delivering such a perfect interaction between the two :,)

The mid credit scene, I say, built the stage for the ‘rocky’ relationships between these two. I can’t wait to see what the directors will prepared for us!!

Meanwhile, I will indulge myself in fanfic community :D

And… this turned out to be extremely long!! ^^; if you managed to come this far… I can’t thank you enough to spent your time in reading my fangirlism rambling. XD

#spideychelle #peter x michelle #ffh spoiler #ffh spoilers

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thesporkidentity · 5 years

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Get To Know Me

I was tagged by @hakyeonniedaegoonie. It has been...a very long time since I’ve done any of these so why the hell not. I don’t have to be a cryptid in my own garbage can

rules: answer these questions then tag people you would like to know better!

nickname: Kit. Or spork I guess, though that would be a very strange thing to shout at me on the street. I would absolutely respond, but it would be weird.

height: 5′2

time: it is currently 6:10 pm

fav bands/solo artists: Oh dear. I’m just gonna list some of the most recent plays on my iTunes. I have difficulty choosing “favorites” because I like a lot of different things in a lot of different ways. Air Supply, Billy Joel, BTS, The Civil Wars, Ella Fitzgerald, EXO, Florence + The Machine, Heart, Inspection 12, Johnny Cash, Journey, Kesha, Lady Gaga, MAMAMOO, Marianas Trench, The Mountain Goats, Muse, P!nk, Park Hyoshin, Regina Spektor, Sara Bareilles, SHINee, Simon & Garfunkel, TAEMIN, Vienna Teng, VIXX, WALK THE MOON

song stuck in my head: America by Simon and Garfunkel. (It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw...)

last movie i saw: I...honestly could not tell you. I’ve been much more into tv shows than movies lately so it might very well be my yearly drunken 4th of july re-watch of National Treasure.

last thing i googled: reverse lookup for a phone number to see if i should pick up the phone. shockingly (gasp) it was a spam caller so i ignored it.

other blogs: used to have an adult blog before the tittypocalypse. i also have one specifically related to a novel idea that i want to write but likely never will, and one related to music because i’m very devoted to my main blog being chaotic trash and that would be too consistent for me and also i’m trying not to drag people unwittingly into my hell-spiral.

do i get asks: i used to. but since the advent of tumblr messenger (and exchanging phone numbers with a few friends) most of our communication takes place outside of my inbox. i also used to have a few really sweet anons, but i had to stop accepting anon messages for a while due to nazis, and my sweet anons have not returned since i turned anon back on.

why i chose my username: the superpower i wanted most as a child was invisibility, and my favorite eating utensil is the spork

following: i don’t know if that’s asking how many i follow or how many i am following. i’m gonna go with how many i follow because i think that’s what was intended? maybe? anyway i follow 60 blogs, though probably at least a third are inactive at this point.

what I’m wearing: tank top and underwear. i live in florida okay?

dream job: musician. at some point in the past i allowed the adults in my life to talk me out of it and pursue a “safer” career. so i’m an industrial and systems engineer. but i am currently very seriously considering how it might be possible to transition back into music.

dream trip: i’ll be honest i don’t really have one at this point. traveling is difficult for me for a variety of reasons, so i don’t really dream about it too much. i suppose if i had the means i would love to take a trip to visit all my far-flung friends in their hometowns

fav food: sushi?

play any instruments: I’ve been playing the piano six i was 6 years old. i’ve been trying to teach myself guitar lately but it...has not been going well lol. it’s just that the guitar is made for people much larger than myself and it is honestly difficult to wrap my arms around it when its body is almost as big as my own

fav song: oh no please don’t do this to me

play(ed) any sports: i used to be a swimmer. specialized in butterfly and endurance events.

hair color: dark brown just about 1 shade up from black

eye color: blue

most iconic song: i don’t understand how this is different from fav song? whatever. iconic. let’s say Everytime We Touch by Cascada

random fact: due to a weird interaction with a medication, the bones of my teeth have a slight blue tint at the very bottom where the roots attach to my jaw

languages you speak/are learning: mainly English nowadays. i’m not sure i can say Latin and French anymore because while i was very comfortable with them in the past I haven’t had occasion to use them often in about 10 years so. my vocabulary is probably shot at this point. i would probably need subtitles again if i tried to watch anything in french.

describe yourself as aesthetics/things: well behind me in my dining room i have a wall of framed vintage matchbook art of cats getting drunk and making bad decisions that’s...probably about as representative as you could get

Tagging: @ifeelbetterer @amberlyinviolet @bonesbuckleup @thunderboltsortofapenny @ink-phoenix @boopifer @killerville @melthedestroyer

no pressure though. and anyone else who wants to do it don’t feel left out just go ahead and do it and tag me if you want <3

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foxymoxynoona · 2 years

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Da-Anon again: A, I really love it so far. I can't stop reading and JK is such a hot mess. And I love mishka. And I loved the creative liberties you took so far. Let's be real, the whole world of DA is made to bend it to our will. Most of all, as there is so less info about the avvar. Thx for answering my questions, btw. I have some more tho and I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with it: What timeline is this? Before or after the latest blight? And will we see some of the game charas? (1)

(2) other than that, you really made me want to play the games again. Maybe I could start with JOH cause shame on me, I just played it once, while I played everything else like 20 times at least. I don't know about a avvar in Origins tho. But I guess I don't have all the dlc there. That might be why. Whatever, I'm making no sense. I really just wanted to say how much I love your work. Again. lol Have a lovely day. Xoxo

------------

You aren't bothering me at all!! I've missed that's story, it's fun to hear from someone reading it for the first time.

I envisioned it as after the last blight but before Inquisition events, though it's not actually super important to the story (other than to know the civil war is going on in Orlais; Marguerite references it at some point.

No one any of the main game characters though --those are other ffs I'd love to write, haha, but this story is isolated.

You knwo what I realized, the Sky-Watcher I was thinking of isn't in Origins, he was in the Fallow Mire in Inquisition! My brain remembered the dark dreary place and thought Origins haha.

I couldn't agree more about taking liberties though, and I definitely did, haha. A lot of the races and places in the massive world they designed rely in weird half-measures on real-world counterparts but don't fully go into practical details; sometimes the people they create are more concepts than real cultures. Like in-game, the Avvar don't keep lifestock. But... they aren't migratory, so I do not understand why they wouldn't (even some migratory cultures keep animals like goats), so I gave them small animals that could be tended in the mountains and figure they trade with plains or grasslands avvar for bigger lifestock products. ANyway I so filled in blanks like I wanted to and it was a lot of fun to build off of/change a fantasy world than try to start from scratch!

#lowlander #asks #anonymous

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survivor-mountmerapi · 3 years

Text

Ep. 3: “I ordered a flavorful and spicy curry and I got like. Flavorless broth.” - Elle

Julia

I don’t want raffy or Ellie to do this fucking hero challenge because I’m afraid they’ll throw it to try to get me out

James

I was way off on my challenge guess. I could've sworn that we were going to do Guess Who or Charades. It's a hero challenge!

There's not a chance in hell I'm volunteering for this challenge. Survivor 101 states: never put yourself in the hero or goat role. I'm going to follow that rule. All this challenge would do is put a target on my back and I like not having a target on my back.

DeNara

Heck, memory challenges suck so much! I wonder who gave us the 10% disadvantage 🤔.... I have a feeling we may go to tribal next. I am hoping Elle can kick some butt and send those winners to tribal. They need to go for sure.

DeNara

James and I keep having thoughts about the game and before we can decide if it is worth the risk to say something in the chat, Nicholas just says it. Works out for us because now he gets the target and not us! Muahahaha

James

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wx5meimEXc

Raffy

The way Dylan, Ellie, Steven, and Julia vibe really well together is concerning. I feel less social pull on this tribe than I have in any other game. It's probably because so many of these people just know me. I don't know how to navigate this game correctly. I want to throw the challenge, but accusations of me going to throw the challenge are already sprouting. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel I wouldn't be able to pull Julia to my side, and she would go rat on me. Prayers for Raffy.

Elle

I'm the hero for the hero challenge 😅... again 😅... and I'm against Raffy😅... who beat me last time I did a hero challenge in the same round I ended up getting voted off in Kyoshi 😭😭😭

Anyway! I'm hopeful!!! For this one. Very nervous not gonna lie, but I feel bad that my anxiety is mostly concentrated on Raffy as a rival and I'm not that nervous about Rachel? 😂I swear that'll probs come back to haunt me later though because these things usually do✨

Raffy

Sitting here. Debating on how I should throw the challenge. It's going to be pretty easy to lose considering the other people have 2 tries whereas I only have 1. So I'll just sit here and vibe.

Raffy

I ended up throwing the challenge because the newbies were about to go to tribal council, and I couldn't bear to see another one leave. So, there's that. Now I need to find a convent lie to tell my tribe about how the challenge went if they ask. Not only that, but I have to navigate a tribal council where I feel like I am on the bottom. Welp. I may have made a mistake, but nothing for it.

Moth

YES!!!! THE WINNERS ARE GOING TO TRIBAL

I want to be able to team up with the newbies come merge in order to take out the winners. So I was worrying about their dwindling numbers- HOWEVER-

Last time I played after the first live tribal there was immediately a tribal swap, I don’t want to celebrate too early cause that could screw me over

Ellie

It’s finally here, the day where Ellie goes pre merge. I know that Raffy definitely wants me gone before merge but also idk if he’s in a position to be telling people who to vote considering he lost the hero challenge. I don’t blame him at all, that’s not what I’m saying, but I feel like he might have a target on his back after that. Still I trust your local chili’s rn (Dylan, Steven, and I) but I also wanna talk to everyone else and hopefully work with them. I have absolutely no clue who I wanna target rn so ig I’ll figure it out later

Anastasia

WE WON FINALLY!! I have to thank the universe and RACHEL for this win. I'm so glad that we can not stress for a round. I need a break from being super paranoid. I'm also looking foward to seeing the losing tribe at tribal council for the first time in this game >:)

DeNara

Heck ya! The winners are going to tribal! Rip em to shreds! Muahahaha

Gian

THANK U RACHEL CALDWELL. THE TEAMMATE WE ALL WISH WE HAD. THE SISTER WE ALL DESERVE. THE GIRL WE ALL ASPIRE TO BE. QUEEEN!

DeNara

I am worried about a swap since it was brought up at the last tribal. I hope we dont. If we do I need my boy James with me.

Dylan

fuck

Elle

I'm a little upset 😅 I wanted to redeem myself with the shape memory challenge but in the end Rachel got out first pretty early on and then Raffy forfeited (which is so nice because the newbies really needed a break from tribal ❤️). But I wanted this to be my chance to be the comeback kid and redeem myself from the last time I lost a hero challenge against Raffy and my writer heart wanted drama and down to the wire and like 15+ shapes to remember and extreme intensity!!! But it wasn't intense at all 😭. I know I can both perceive and go forth in life a bit melodramatically but I feel like I ordered a flavorful and spicy curry of a hero challenge and I got like. Flavorless broth 😂😂 ah, oh well. We didn't go to tribal and that's the important thing, I suppose (she says, not believing it at all 😂).

James Hayden

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBz09QsSN_4

James Hayden

Even though I'm all for NOT going to tribal, I would be ok with going to the next tribal IF there's no swap at 15. I think it's important for us to go tribal before a swap, so we can build and cement trust with each other. If we swap at 15, then I think the Warrior tribe is at a disadvantage. Yes, we'd have the numbers; however, we wouldn't have the trust that the winners and newbies have. If Jalapao, Foa Foa, and the Aitu 4 have taught us anything is that sometimes a small group of people who have trust with each other is stronger than a large group of people who don't have trust with each other.

Rachel

Wow. I really shocked Raffy forfeited the challenge, but also very thankful. I was so nervous going into it and usually my memory is fairly good, however I'm terrible learning new things under pressure. I feel bad for not disclosing the information to my tribe, and also afraid it may come out eventually. Nevertheless, I am so glad to not be voting anyone out in my tribe because I do feel so closely linked to them. I feel like if there is a swap next round, our tribe has a chance of flying under the radar and helping some of the other tribes take out their bigger threats.

Raffy

Last night, I got to work. Ellie came to me extremely quickly to tell me that they would be willing to vote out Steven or Dylan this tribal because they don't just want to work with their friends. Ironic that they came to me about it, but it's fine. While I wanted to get Ellie out this tribal, it would be a pretty huge move for my game that does not seem possible at the moment. Julia and Pietro like Ellie which makes it difficult for me to target them safely. Instead, I have my sights on Dylan because I feel they would be the easiest to eliminate out of the four of us.

This morning, Pietro started an alliance with Ellie and I. Looks like I am going to be roped into working with them for another game. Woo... I plan to betray Ellie some time before pre-merge. Maybe a swap could help me with that goal. Pietro is down to vote for Dylan which means there are three votes for Dylan. I tried to talk to Julia about it last night, but she seemed unreceptive and wary of my approach. I think she's too in her head about the four working together that she can't see what's actually happening in the game.

Raffy

I found a hidden immunity idol. I love this narrative for me. Let's so how far I can get with this in my pocket. I am not planning on telling anyone about it. I don't know if I even want to continue searching the idol hunt, but it will be fine. I am fairly certain this is the last idol in the hunt. Two other spots used to have an idol in them (such as the rock in the mountain and somewhere in the forest which Steven told me).

Steven

https://youtu.be/SiF_AtMUKl8

Tl;dr winners tribe lost and I’m gonna try to vote Raffy out

Pietro

So I had a very good convo with Julia and we both feel like we are in a tribe full of friends for life. We are super scared, and the only name I heard was Dylan, by Ellie and Raffy. So I was just honest to Julia and told her we should be a pair and work together cause this tribe is full of pairs.

Then out of the sudden Steven makes a group of me, Dylan, Julia and himself. I was 100% sure I was on the bottom of this tribe but it looks like its gonna be a couples war with me and Julia beeing the swing votes and I'm all for it lol

Raffy

Julia told me that Steven started an alliance with himself, Dylan, Julia, and Pietro that, seemingly, want to vote me out of this game. This is some dangerous stuff. Now I need to rely on Julia and Pietro to not want to vote me out here which is tough work. I don't want to use my idol this early, but I don't want to be the first boot off the winners tribe either.

Julia

Well we lost the challenge which fucking sucks. Pietro and I are like 10000% convinced that everyone’s fucking with us and it’s either me or him going tonight. So Steven and Dylan want the four of us to vote raffy and Ellie and raffy want the four of us to go Dylan and I’m just not sure. I feel like this is and elaborate ploy to get us to not use idols or anything eek. I’m still deciding whether to play my idol tonight. We shall see we shall see

Dylan

many thoughts, head full, I'd rather just take a nap

https://youtu.be/meKXyHH_mTY

Nicholas

I’m sad Ganjo is out but I turned it into a good thing by telling James I knew Ganjo. I now have two trios with James in both of them. I think I convinced Elle that if we lose we should vote out moth and I think James would be on board with that too. DeNara wouldn’t be I don’t think though. I’m happy the winners finally lost but now we need to keep winning. I’m glad I didn’t have to compete cause I don’t want to come off as too strong so that I’m not the target come tribe swap and merge. I want to be perceived as medium power so that I can flip if I want too since I would bring value yet I’m not so valuable that I’m a target. I think I could probably get Anastasia to work with me since Ganjo left her that nice message so if we wind up being on the same tribe I can say “Ganjo was rooting for you so I want to work with you cause it’s what Ganjo would have wanted”.

Dylan

yeah so Raffy knows we're targeting him bc I was on a friend call with him and I brought up the vote and then he just straight up asked me if I was voting for him and if Steven was. I lied to his face but I'm pretty sure he saw right through it, which is basically to say that we're screwed. and I'm very anxious now. so like, if anyone w/him has an idol I feel like it'll get played tonight and idk who he'll target. fucking hell. I don't even know if it was Julia or Pietro who told him or both, which doesn't help. I relayed this all to Steven, who seemed kind of...lacking in his responses which also worries me. he could just be busy but like,,,if he's not? uhhhh. cool, cool. this is fine (no it's not)

Raffy

Now, I will sit here in anxiety as I await tribal council. I have no doubt that others are scrambling, but I am going to have to trust my allies. I'm still debating whether I should use the idol or not. I think I'll still debate it up until Jay asks for idols. Ugh. This is too much work to think about on a Friday night.

DeNara

These idol hunts are kicking my butt! I sure hope I find something soon, even just a small advantage..... an idol would be nice too

Ellie

Some of me in my host chat! Ellie, 9:18 PM Raffy is talking game with me, interesting. He definitely doesn’t want me around for too long but I’m assuming he’s gonna take all the numbers he can get Ellie, 9:18 PM I’d prefer this to be a unanimous vote because that makes it easier for me Ellie, 9:21 PM Raffy mentioned wanting to work with Pietro which means my only option rn is julia Ellie, 9:22 PM I’d feel like absolutely shit if I flipped on a Dylan and Steven alliance again Ellie, 9:29 PM Idk if I can morally flip on Steven and Dylan because I’d just feel so bad Ellie, 9:45 PM Me abt to tell the Dylan and Steven chat that I’m not actually planning to work with them as an alliance 👁👄👁 Ellie, 9:25 AM Omg there’s abt to be a Raffy, Pietro, ellie alliance Ellie, 9:25 AM This is beautiful

Madi

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WHhIxp_WqfbblZiQ-IKD--6koXFBxzGJ/view?usp=drivesdk

Ellie

Ok now to explain what’s actually happening, Raffy, Pietro, Julia, and I are planning on voting Dylan tonight. Raffy and I called last night and discussed that we had to make the choice of playing with our good friends or playing with people we barely know, in the end we went with the latter and it kinda sucks. I ended up telling my chat with Dylan and Steven that I wasn’t voting with them tonight cause I didn’t have it in me to lie to them like that. I’m hoping that all goes well!

Steven

So I have no idea what is about to happen tonight. Im putting all my eggs into Julias and Pietro's basket and just hoping for the best. Ellie and Raffy are both giving off weird vibes that make me believe that something is going on. What is really frustrating that I have no ability to change anything now. No plan b, no alternate action, nothing. i know Dylan might want to try something else as a fail safe but Im not too sure if it will work the way they want. Ugh I wish tribal would just happen already cause all this unknown stuff is really freaking me out.

Raffy

I told Julia about my idol because of paranoia, but it worked out because she told me about her idol. We're idol buddies now.

Ginny

We made the winners tribe to finally go to tribal council it’s so great I love it

Julia

So it looks like I’m going to be the swing vote tonight. I’m very incredibly nervous but we’ll see how it goes. Still have a sneaking suspicion that I’m going to get snaked but we’ll see

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