#anyway I'm done being an asshole for now

[running-in-the-dark]

had one very short interaction with my mother-in-law and once again I think I won't get through living here until the end of March :)

#she drives me insane #she asked something. I answered. she goes 'okAaaAayyyy?' in the most irritating tone ever. #like what is wrong with you. what. #she's so fucking irritating. truly the most joyless serious bitter person I have ever met (and I have met my mother so...... that's saying #something) #it's just. man social interaction is already so difficult but she just. makes EVERYTHING weird. #literally dude all I said was that yes everything's great with me and the cats 👍 how ELSE was I supposed to respond to that?? #I know I'm overthinking it and being a horrible ungrateful little bitch but god I just can't stand her #I don't CARE what they do for us I still just don't like them 😭 yes I know I'm the worst 😭 #my husband had to promise me that I won't have to see them more than twice a year once we move. I just. they drain every last bit of life #and joy and happiness out of everything #drives me insane #anyway I'm done being an asshole for now #been trying to take a tumblr break but where else would I complain about this. #personal

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

the MOST terrifying thing is getting a surprise message from someone you genuinely despise

#hush n shush wifi #not brainrot #NOBODY HERE DON'T WORRY #remember that absolute asshole of a person who said nasty things to me out of the blue months ago? #yeah it was them #i completely forgot they followed me somewhere else because i never use that account for anything #and when we did talk on there it was via a different account that they deleted #luckily it was a mistake and they meant to send it to someone else so heavy bullet dodged there #anyways they are now blocked there too like they are everywhere else #because after that happened i decided i was done with people being mean to me #i was ready to turn VIOLENT #i'm surprised they didn't block me there first since they initiated the split #but oh well more satisfaction for me #sorry seeing a message from them brought back all sorts of bad feelings #so i might be a little short and impatient today #need a moth to snuggle with right now

[tittyinfinity]

when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends

#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes #while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!) #and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you'' #despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR #DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT #btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this. #promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me. #she does this thing a lot #where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head #i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to #and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough #i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes #bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now... #...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life'' #so she literally only does it for personal gain #so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes #all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge #another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen #which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them #i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought #i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE. #and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected'' #she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times #but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control #STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD #IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE #.bdo

[feralghxuls]

ough augh thinking about swiss and alpha again

literally like. it's literally this

by all accounts it doesn't make sense. compels me though

#i lied it does make sense. swiss is such a romantic #there's no way he enters a d/s situationship even with an irredeemable asshole like alpha #(alphas words) #and doesn't catch feelings #and ALPHA is loathe to admit it but the mere act of opening up even slightly about his problems #is a slippery slope to real feelings (which he will be in denial about for a very long time) #alpha doesn't really. have people being nice to him #he's an asshole. his pack are all assholes #swiss isn't nice to him either (during scenes anyway) but it's the way he genuinely cares about whatever it is #that has alpha fucked up enough to come to swiss to get fucked up #like obviously not everyone who is into this type of thing has Problems. you can be normal and still wanna get fucked up like that etc etc #but alpha has so many problems and he just feels so quiet after swiss fucks him up good #okay i'm done rambling in the tags now bye #dorito.txt #there's a confession in the carnage

[loveofastarvingdog]

i feel like i’m losing my mind

#and no one gets it #and like it's fine and. it's not like i expected anyone to get it #but the brain fog and dissociation and disorientation is kicking my ass recently #and i know it comes in waves and i know i'm not helping with my sleep and eating and water habits #but i keep expecting it to be easier #and it's not the stuff that's hard it's just the getting it done part #i know i'm good at writing essays and i know i give a damn good speech and i know that i CAN do this stuff #but then it comes time to focus or understand or etc etc etc and it just fucking knocks my upside the head again #i just feel so silly. and so. ueagh #and it's fine and i'm fine and it's manageable but goddamn why did i have to get chronic stuff from getting sick when i was already #adhd and anxious and possibly [etc etc etc] #and on top of all that. no kisses ! sad #anyways now that i'm done being butt hurt by the fact that [insert self deprecating talk here that i'm not actually going to say #because i don't want platitudes and also because i ''deserve'' better than being an asshole to myself] #anyways. it's fine. just getting this stuff in today and getting the stuff in tomorrow and then surviving monday when i start work again #even though this is literally the worst time for me to start work since i currently don't have a working brain and will probably make #countless sucky mistakes and get horribly embarrassed and humiliated and even worse get fired. or WORSE. not get fired but get humiliated #yikes. i've got a pessimistic view of all this huh. at least i'll be getting money ! yay #tw swearing #tw vent #tw rant #tw internalized ableism #ask to tag #timothy's txts.

[killerchickadee]

Sometimes I have to bite my tongue so I don't show everyone what an asshole I am about cosplay. But. I just want to say like.... 90% of the fun of cosplay for me is trying to match an actual outfit as much as possible. Like. Making most of it myself, and having things I just purchase outright look as close as possible to what a character is wearing. And then of course, you know, spending hundreds of dollars and hours of labor on putting something together only to have someone who slopped some shit out of their closet is. A little frustrating. Just vaguely matching a character's aesthetic isn't cosplay to me.

#i mean my costumes aren't perfect but when people put no effort in it's like.... ok #yeah sorry i am absolutely a complete asshole about this #i mean go out and have fun etc but #this is about a specific character but i see it in every fandom #oh my god remember when girls were slapping long blonde wigs and khaki colored skirts on and calling it femme az*raphale? #like not only are you being lazy but you're also saying no homo lmao #um anyway now y'all know #I'm debating what to do on the costume I'm making #like the shirt looks like it'll be hard to make myself #but I'll have to dye a shirt if i buy it and the cut won't be exactly right #and dyeing fabric is not... super convenient at my apartment lol #anyway just cause this character is goth or whatever doesn't mean just throwing on black clothes is a cosplay that's all I'm saying #also if you're going to wear period skirts GET THE PROPER UNDEROOS #petticoats people #ok I'm done being salty

[churchydragon]

I think I'll follow Shattered and also block the SAMS tag. I just get kinda annoyed and bitter now when I see it

#churchy talks #sick of seeing the shitty show that kills characters for no reason other then shock value #and has creators are too pussy to tell the fandom “no” #like I'm certain they killed Solar because of poor written shock value (what a shock!) #or becuase they became so uncomfortable with people shipping literal incest they decided to kill one of them #and they can't kill Moon again so Solar has to go #and both of these things could have been avoided #by either better writing #or the actors putting their foot down and telling people to stop shipping incest #and like. back with Moon and Monty. they both said they were uncomfortable with it. they were probably uncomfortable with S*lorm*on too #but the fandom is full of fucking assholes that think it's okay to send death threats to minors #or say they're gonna write 18+ smut to minors #we literally cannot have SHIT in the FNaF fandom without someone being a freak #and it's so fucking frustrating and every time I see anything SAMS related I just get annoyed all over again. like fuck man come on #anyways. I'm done yelling. I go play Morrowind now #vent

[ziptiesnfries]

i am Thinking about roux and ambrose tonight. i'm not sure what i want to Do with them but i am Thinking.

tbh it was kind of a mistake to make ambrose a mad scientist. he was pretty terrible at it, which was kind of the point, but i feel like it's not really his style. what i'm more interested in is him being a villain, or some other brand of Guy With Lots of Power, who is absolutely fascinated and delighted by this pint-sized redhead who hates his guts.

like... i'm not exactly sure what types of roles to put the two of them in, if i bring them back, but i know the dynamic will stay pretty much the same. ambrose is still like "uwu you're such a sweet little buddy who i want to care for and protect (as long as you don't actually upset me)" and roux is still like "shut the FUCK up i'll kill you"

i have somewhat of a scenario in mind, and i'm worried it's too similar to another major project i'm writing, but it goes something like this: ambrose is some type of mob boss or villain, and roux and their team get caught trying to fuck with his plans, and all of them are captured and tortured for information. ambrose hadn't planned on being very involved with the whole process - he's not usually one to get his hands dirty; he pays people for that. but he finds himself fascinated by this tiny little redhead who still has the nerve to swear at him and spit in his face, even after being waterboarded and beaten. he just has to know more about them - whether roux likes it or not. (and they very decidedly do not.)

#ziptalks #oc: ambrose #oc: roux #i don't know what to doooo with themmmmm #just rotating them aggressively i guess #i'm worried that i only know how to write one type of story now #and it's 'asshole rich guy gets obsessed with some scrunkly aggressive gremlin' #to be fair it's a god tier dynamic #but like i'm worried that i'll never come up with anything else dfjghsdkfghsdf #but being an asshole rich guy was always part of ambrose's character so #i can't change that now #the entitlement is the point #anyway if you read this far good for you #i am tentatively taking suggestions for these two but as always no promises #my inspiration is Fickle #i thought i was done with these two tbh but i guess not!!

[boyfhee]

이희승 、PRETTY GIRL

featuring ⋆ bsf!heeseung, hints at friends with benefits

warnings ⋆ slightly suggestive, use of endearments, profanities, jealously on heeseung's side, toxic undertones? i'm not too sure on this one ( 0.9k )

notes ⋆ something has been so so wrong with me recently i can't come up with anything that doesn't involve making out

“hee, how do i look?” 

heeseung is sprawled on your couch, scrolling through his phone when he looks up at you, raising an eyebrow. you’re waiting for his response and he’s taking his time— eyeing you up and down, the way that pretty dress hugs your body. you’ve even done your makeup, flaunting that lip tint you had bought recently, that makes your lips ten times more kissable. you never dressed like this for him.

he sighs, putting his phone aside, and sits up straight, not a single emotion on his face. “are you going to the library to study or on a date?”

“ah, did i over do it?” and you’re asking in the cutest and quietest voice, looking down at your outfit and oh how much he wants to tell you how gorgeous you look. 

but you aren’t all dolled up for him. it’s for your project partner— that asshole you have also been studying with for finals for over a week now. and it’s ridiculous how he— or anyone of those losers around you think they stand a chance, when you end up in his arms every night, at the end of all. 

“no,” yes, he wanted to say. “not at all,” so pretty for someone who’s not me.

he gets up from the couch and makes his way to you— you look prettier up close. heeseung is aware of it. he wants it to be his little secret, who even does your study guy or whatever thinks he is? heeseung takes your hands and pulls you closer, just looking at you, admiring you. maybe he should keep his pretty little best friend all to himself.

and you don’t even mind since you’re used to this. the closeness, subtle touches, holding hands, comfort, advice— it’s what best friends are for. “but you said i look like i’m going on a date.” 

he chuckles at your cute reaction, the pout, the slight frown. how cute. it’s adorable how you always take his words seriously, he’s the one person you can rely on, who you trust blindly. sometimes, heeseung feels bad for having feelings for you. would you even care if he confessed? or would you just cut him off? he’s your precious best friend after all, who you’ve known since you two were toddlers. 

“i meant to say that you look too pretty,” is he even allowed to feel this way?

you laugh softly at his words, a bit flustered at his words even though he has complimented you a thousand times. “well, i’ll get going then, ‘seung,”

truthfully, it’s also your fault. 

those smiles and giggles, your gaze that searches for him in a crowded room. you never forget to invite him to a group hangout, it’s one benefit of being friends with your friends. those nicknames you call him and only him. he’s the one you run to when you have problems. you live in his apartment more than your dorm— it’s your fault for making him feel all this. for making him like this.

you try to pull your hand back to leave, but instead he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, pressing himself against you. this is wrong, you know, he knows. too bad, it’s not the first time. worse, he doesn’t care. 

“hee—” you gasp in surprise, but your words end up coming out as a sigh once he presses his lips against your neck. he can feel your hands on his shoulders, trying to push him away and the swift motion in which they instinctively wrap around him. and you do realise it’s your fault. you always end up giving in anyway. it’s a bad, vicious habit— he pulls, you push, and then give in, and the way you react to things he does drives him insane.

sure, your project partner could wait for a while. he doesn’t deserve you anyway. 

“you’re so pretty, angel,” he whispers next to your ear, giving it a soft nibble before pulling back and looking at you with those enchanting eyes and a smile that sends your heart into a whirlwind. he calls you angel like it’s your name, and he whispers compliments ever so softly and sweetly. it’s what you had asked him for— to tell you how you look, and heeseung is good at doing that. he has got your back. “so gorgeous,”

it’s what best friends are for. 

the next thing your mind registers is his sweet lips on yours, the taste of cherries and vanilla from the shortcakes you two had earlier lingering on your tongue, and then your mind goes blank. you’re pulling him closer, he’s busy savouring your taste, taking in your every breath, every little sound you make as he kisses you so well.

heeseung bets that guy you’re so excited to spend time with can’t even make you feel half of what you’re feeling. you’re always going to end up coming back to him for more. after all, no one knows what you want better than heeseung.

the sound of your phone ringing snaps him out of his thoughts. he looks at your slightly red lips as you reach out for your phone, but heeseung beats you to it. he grabs your phone and grins when he sees the caller ID— it’s your study buddy— hands caressing your cheeks as he answers with a smirk. “sorry, my girl will be a bit late today. hope you don’t mind,”

he hangs up, phone somewhere around, and his lips are back on yours again.

#—approved. #k-labels #enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fic #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fluff #lee heeseung #heeseung #heeseung imagines #heeseung scenarios #heeseung fic #heeseung fanfic #heeseung x reader #heeseung x y/n #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #heeseung fluff #kpop fic #kpop fanfic #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x y/n

[cordeliawhohung]

i had a rude and terrifying patient at work today and now i'm just thinking about how mafia!Simon wouldn't stand for anyone being blatantly rude to anyone who didn't deserve it, especially service workers and ugh ):

like imagine he takes shy!reader out for a date. he's taken you to some cute american 50's themed diner, which is a nice change of pace of what you're used to seeing in the restaurant you work at. the decor is cute, and the waitstaff are all dressed like greasers or in swing dresses and the two of you are having fun while enjoying terribly greasy and delicious food.

then you've got some asshole completely ruining the mood. he's been loud and angry the entire night, bickering with the waitstaff about prices, complaining when his food comes out because it wasn't done right, things of that sort. you and Simon eye the guy warily, Simon with more anger and distrust than you, but otherwise keep quiet hoping that the man and his cowering family will hurry up and leave eventually.

things get worse when the ticket comes. he's looking it over, and he's making up all sorts of wrongs that they changed him for. saying how the burgers were supposed to be this price, that they didn't order this sort of drink, they were overcharged for this, do you even know what you're doing? it gets to the point where the waitstaff has to call the manager up, and the poor thing can't be any older than 19. and this asshole uses that to his advantage, and despite it she stays strong and says she's not lowering the price of anything and that her waitstaff was right.

then he stands. towering over her, spit flying as he gets in her face, and Simon's had enough. you watch helplessly as he stomps from your table to theirs, putting a tattooed hand on the mans shoulder to pull him away from the poor manager.

"get outta here," he warns, voice annoyed but still dangerous.

"i'm not paying until they fix their mistakes!"

"i'm not askin' you to pay, i'm tellin' you to gather your shit and fuck off."

eventually, by some miracle, the man leaves. he doesn't pay a single dime and though the manager tells him through tears that it's alright, that she can just comp it, he pays for their ticket anyway. when the two of you finish your food, and make sure to say an extra kind farewell to the staff, the waitstaff cleans your table to find a tip that was more than double what you payed for in food.

anyway be kind to people or simon riley will make you pay for it <3

#mafia!simon #mafia!ghost #mafia!141 #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader

[boiohboii]

Protective girl (Charles Leclerc x reader)

Inspires by @charles-eclair16 's fic

When fans go too far, yn wants to protect the one treasure in her life

or

in which we finally get to see the roles reversed

N.B: this is been in my drafts for so long, omg! Let me know what you guys think!! WARNING: not proof read, some swear words, might have messed up a date, don't focus on any dates mentioned, this is all fictional anyways. Hope you guys like it

masterlist

Liked by Arthur_leclerc, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 1,379,064 others

itsmeyn: charles always goes above and beyond for every single fan of his, he tries to take as many pictures and sign as many autographs as possible, but what happened last night was a fucking joke. He doesn't like what I'm writing cause he says that it was just a mistake and that it was fine, but it really isn't, it's so disrespectful and disgusting! He always wants to meet his fans and make them happy only to receive this insanity, him falling AND HURTING HIMSELF because some of you can't fucking wait and be organized like a human being! Charles isn't an animal in a zoo where you race to pet him! He is a human being, he is a son, a brother and a boyfriend! This wasn't just an accident, i have seen these 6 girls multiple times in multiple places! it's so obsessive and so so sick of you to follow him everywhere.... Charles won't speak up because he is Charles and he lives seeing the good in people, but I will tear everything and everyone for his safety, so for you 6 girls you will be hearing from court soon so better prepare a good lawyer you assholes!

Comments on this post have been disabled.

Liked by leclercboy, ynistheitgurl, fuckferarri and 91,739 others

F1_updates_live: Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, YN LN, seen today arriving in front of the UK's courthouse in a red SF9 Ferarri. It had been quite a week for YN as she was seen hitting a fan after the said fan pushed Charles. YN took this fan and 5 others to court, no one knows on what bases but what has come out is that she has won the case which means that Charles and YN have restraining orders against the group.

username: OHH HEEEELLL YEAAAAAHH

username: yn doing God's work

username: yn serving justice

username: that's what we needed

username: hot girl shit

username: the car and suit combo is so fucking hot of her

username: I think this is too much, like these girls just wanted to see Charles

username: @.itsmeyn can we make them 7?

username: another one

Liked by Charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, pierregasly and 617,829 others

itsmeyn: don't blame me, love made me crazy

username: YN IS A FELLOW SWIFTIE?!?!?

username: if I had a nickel for everytime yn and I had something in common I'd have 2 nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

username: now I just want her to watch all the charles edits done with a taylor song

itsmeyn: who says i already don't 🌚

username: and I oop-

username: THIS IS THE SWEETEST AND CRINGIEST SHIT EVER!

Liked by wolfffam, maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 817,629 others

itsmeyn: congratulations to my baby, the love of my life, you deserve it and so much more ♥️♥️

username: FINALLY!!

username: idk how to react, ferarri has let us down too many times that all I know is lose

username: I don't see how he deserves it tbh, all of his results are shit for quite a while , he's only where he is cause he's driving a ferarri 🤷‍♂️

itsmeyn: oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were the one in a formula one car, in a ferarri, that by the words of many professionals is at its worse era. I don't care about you and your opinion but don't state it as a fact, no one can do better with these strategies. I hate to keep saying this but when your own fucking team doesn't have the same dream as you it turns to shit. Even if charles is the only one in the car, it's still a team sport, not a one man sport. Fuck you and your tiny ass brain that can never survive one lap in a formula one car, it'll probably explode cause of all the bullshit in it before the first lap anyway. So next time you wanna talk shit maybe try to do fifth of who you're criticising is doing, I bet that'll shut you up real quick you dimwit.

Liked by leclercpascale, pilotesofmonaco, tswiftyn, and 52,719 others

F1_updates_live: YN LN, Charles' long time girlfriend, seen today fighting Xavi in Bahrain due to his mistake on the radio which resulted in Charles losing his podium position.

username: good for her

username: charles is so lucky

username: I love how she always stands up for him

username: honestly, whenever charles or carlos ignore the strategies they win... I really wanna see more of that.

username: this is just Monaco 2024 GP all over again, yn was so fucking furious (rightfully so) cause Xavi's mistake costed charles a p1 in his home race.

username: this shit was so heartbreaking man

username: I think this was the first time we ever saw yn angry at sabotaging charles, like the most we saw was her holding his hand when crossing the street, making sure he eats first, playing with his hair when nervous, but I've never seen yn make someone literally cry until 2024 with Xavi being her victim

username: pffft, victim, he 100% deserved it

username: oh yeah, definitely. All my homes hate Xavi, like can you not say the strategy properly 😒

#f1 social media au #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #charles leclerc #f1 #charles leclerc fluff #charles x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc one shot #charles x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles x yn #charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc social media au #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc twitter au

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I The Asshole for demanding my coworkers get themselves tested? I, M, (30sM) work with these guys (20s to 40s, all M) pretty regularly as a contractor on bigger projects, usually to handle the machinery they can't. It's fine, I get along more or less with most of them, and as long as I can play my video games at the end of the day, its all good. There's about 12 of us total. So it all starts in winter, you know how it is, flu and covid and all making the rounds again, so being responsible, we keep to ourselves. One of the guys, C, had recently put down a new dog he just adopted. The guys are all making a big deal out of it, but I don't care, its not my dog, and all that. Anyways, things start getting weird after that.

I don't want to name any names, and I don't know who did what, but someone threw out a whole bunch of test kits. Two of my other coworkers, F and B1, started really getting sick and had to leave. Someone fucked with the equipment, mine included. B2, my other coworker, just decided to work from home for now but it's radio silence, he won't talk to anyone.

Last time I went to work, I had to come back in through the backdoor because they wouldn't let me in the front, saying I probably caught something while outside. But I've been so cautious! I know I didn't catch anything, I know I'm still myself, I just want to get this done with and move on with my job! What am i supposed to do, work from home?

This is where I might be the Asshole: I got fed up and just demanded that everyone gets themselves tested in front of everyone else. So I grabbed a bunch of leftover tests, herded everyone in the lobby, and locked the doors. I tested myself in front of everyone, and I am negative, and should be free to move in and out. But the others, especially my boss P, is saying I am being extreme, I am threatening people, the tests are unreliable, I shouldn't have tied them to the couch etc.

So I've been wondering. Am I really the Asshole for wanting to find out who is still human and who is actually the Thing?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #fandom aita #unreality #the thing #god i love that movie #last halloween i got to see it in a theater and it was amazing

[bluecollarmcandtf]

I'm so annoyed, my best friend has such an asshole for a husband. He basically never pays attention to her, all he cares about sport, beer and his friends. He never helps around the house and he's a lazy slob! He's always at the gym or going to the game with his bros. He's such a prick, maybe he should just be date his bros since he's so obsessed with them. He's always complaining about his wife "bothering him". Plus who would want to marry a slob anyway, as a husband he should be devoted to cleaning his house and caring about who he is married to.

I think I found the guy you're talking about, and you're totally right about him being an asshole. Your friend deserves better than an uncaring, selfish, pig-of-a-husband. That girl has tolerated him for too long! She won't be seeing him or his sexist buddies ever again when I'm done here...

Just look at him! The first thing he does when he gets home is grab a beer and park that fat ass of his on the couch. Sure, he might hit the gym later on his way to the bar, but he's not planning on helping his wife out with dinner. He's not really planning on talking to her at all until he needs a blow job later tonight.

You mentioned his name was Brett, I think?

Well, Brett can barely hold a job. He's lucky you gave him a chance and got him a gig as a delivery man. I think he's been doing this for a month now, but he absolutely resents the work. Brett can't really enjoy anything unless he has a beer in his hand, and he absolutely hates wearing that stuffy little uniform.

Nevertheless, he's been consistently showing up so far; probably because his wife is waking him up, washing his clothes, and feeding him breakfast. Brett essentially only uses her as a maid and sex toy!

It's a good thing I've got something planned for Brett today as he starts his delivery rounds. He doesn't notice me following as he grumpily carries a package out of his truck, and he doesn't have time to react when I reach out and grab the back of his head.

"You're not going to move," I command, sinking my fingers into the soft parts of his skull, "You're going to let me in."

A deep sigh blows out of Brett's mouth, and I know his willpower is gone. "I'm not going to move. I'll let you in..." he repeats numbly.

With permission, I shoot inside his mind, discovering much of what I expected. His thoughts revolve around meeting up with his bros after work. He hasn't genuinely cared to think about his wife in ages. His mind is just as simple and unlikeable as he is.

Good thing I'm here to change it!

"Brett, I'm changing your thoughts. You like that. You want me to rewrite you."

"You're..." he struggles to form words, "You're changing my thoughts. I like that. I want you to rewrite me..."

"Good," I grin maliciously.

Bringing my lips closer to his ear, I begin to fill his head with his new personality. He accepts all his new goals and dreams wholeheartedly. I imagine, you will like them. They're the ones you asked for...

Done for now, I pull out of his mind, whipping Brett back into consciousness! He gasps for air as he regains his senses, but then something overtakes him. He's taken off running down the street!

I follow behind, knowing exactly where he'll end up. I must say that I enjoy watching his thick ass jogging away in those tight brown shorts. He's a lot more muscular than I gave him credit for.

I'm sure his new husband will enjoy that body of his too.

Brett sprints several blocks and runs straight up to a house at the end of the street. It's the home of one of his football buddies. I think his name might be Axel or Alex or something. I'm not sure.

Anyways, Brett bangs on the door, panting like a dog. When the door is finally opened, he wastes no time. Brett pulls his bro in for the long passionate kiss he's been waiting for.

"Dude?" his friend mumbles as their lips part, "What are you doing?"

Little does he know that I already hypnotized him, too. He's going to accept everything Brett does like it's what he's wanted all along.

"Axel! Man, I love you!" Brett moans, pulling his football buddy in closer, "I want you to marry me. I'll quit my job and be your housewife. I'll be better at that! And you can boss me around and use me however you want, bro! I mean everything; cooking, cleaning, everything!"

"Woah, dude! That's a lot to take in," he hesitates, but already his mind is giving in, "But yeah. I like the sound of that. Being my wife means more than just cooking and cleaning though."

Brett looks at his new love earnestly. Meanwhile, Axel straightens up and crosses his arms to look rough.

"It means pleasure, whenever I want it and wherever I want it. It means you only get to watch the football games in between you serving me and my friends. By the way, they're just my friends now. Got it, dude?"

"Yeah," Brett whines, "Just let me start now!"

Axel smirks and pulls his new house husband into the house, giving him a possessive slap on the butt as they pass over the threshold.

"Alright, bitch. I'm gonna treat you just as bad as you did that old girl of yours."

"Who?" Brett asks out of genuine confusion, but he's already brushed off the comment and dropped to his knees.

"I don't know. Don't care either," Axel sneers, "Just get started. Haven't blown a load all day."

The faint sound of repetitive gagging echoes out of the house as the front door slams shut. It seems like my work here is done.

The football gang will enjoy having a very willing bro to take care of all their needs, and Brett will do it with a genuine smile on his face. That friend of yours is a free woman, so I suggest she find something fulfilling to do with her life. Brett may be trapped in another marriage, but she sure as hell isn't!

Hope you liked how I handled your problem!

#gay hypnosis #hypno story #male mind control

[zoe-oneesama]

I also think the recent ep where Mari is scolded for not improving Chloe's behavior as a class rep, is not fair. A class rep is there to be the voice for the students and act as a form of communication, not mentor or educate another child. Mari also became class rep to stop Chloe's bullying, not reform her or give her therapy. I can't believe they (the class) actually gave the class rep position to Lila, even Marinette has done so much for them, and little Miss Liar is only full of hot air. Side eye

The Class Rep thing in "Revelation" was so dumb in all aspects, like, FIRST of all-

Lila cannot seriously be bringing up that it's "undiplomatic" that they held elections without her when she wasn't even going to Francois Dupont yet, are you trying to look me in the face and tell me "Volpina" happened before FREAKING "Darkblade"?! (And obviously no one brings up this fact when she's talking nonsense)

WHY is Bustier even entertaining this garbage when there's two weeks of school left?! Like, sorry Lila, try again in high school if you can even get in with your attendance record. The only things left for the Class Rep to even do is the Student -Teacher Career Course planning which sounds super important and like a really dumb thing to suddenly hand over to two people who haven't been preparing for it in the slightest!

Marinette is running on the "Actually this is pointless, I've done great as a class president because it's actually not my job to change Chloe for the better, especially when Bustier, her parents, and Ladybug herself couldn't get her to pull her head out of her ass, so I'm going to spend my time on things that actually matter and will have results" and legit why does anyone care about "improving Chloe" when in TWO WEEKS they will be at TOTALLY DIFFERENT SCHOOLS and hopefully NEVER have to see her in person again?! Though realistically she should be running on the "we have two weeks left why are we even here" campaign.

And Lila is running on the "Chloe can change if someone just worked with her instead of spending all their time on their own romance like a selfish jerk" platform and the class eats this up just because Chloe is "willing" to be Lila's deputy. Except Lila has been hanging out with and being friends with Chloe since freaking "Penalteam"! And guess who's still an asshole despite your "influence" Lila?! OH RIGHT, YOUR NEW DEPUTY! Hell, "Adoration" JUST happened 3 episodes ago where Chloe was framing Marinette for theft! Your "influence" isn't worth SHIT to anyone paying attention!

Now, Lila's only going for the President role so she can fuck everyone over in "Confrontation", so obviously this stupid campaign was going to happen and Lila was going to win just to set up the Big Bang where Lila exposes herself. Who cares that it stretches suspension of belief past it's limits, that's just the Gold Standard when it comes to Lila schemes.

Anyway, can't wait for her grand plans as The Villain of the next arc. -_-

#ml salt #revelation salt #writing salt

[riddlerosehearts]

thinking about how people who watch the emperor's new groove and somehow come out of it shipping pacha and kuzco, or thinking yzma only became evil when kuzco fired her and that she would've been a better ruler than him, are both so wrong in so many different ways and are also missing one of the things that i absolutely love about the movie. which is that, the way i see it, pacha and yzma are counterparts. as parental figures to kuzco.

like, just to get this out of the way first, yzma was a dismissive asshole to a peasant whose family was starving. and yeah, if kuzco had been in her place he definitely would've also done that, which... is why she would not be a better ruler than him. she'd just be the same because they're both horrible people in the exact same ways. her reaction to being fired is to plot murder, and as soon as his funeral is over she sets everyone to work on replacing paintings of kuzco with paintings of herself and covering the palace with imagery that makes it clear that it's all about her now. i'm not even sure why this is a discussion tbh.

and also, kuzco is literally a teenager. he's barely 18 years old. source: in the movie, yzma says at his funeral that kuzco was "taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday." she also claims in the movie to have "practically raised" him, to which kronk replies "yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better". and sure, she could be exaggerating, but what evidence do we have that she is? we learn absolutely nothing of his parents, who are never mentioned even once in the movie, or of anyone else who could've raised him, and she's his advisor who for some reason sees no problem with attending to royal duties in his place. most likely because she's his regent. also, i'm not exactly a fan of the sequel tv series "the emperor's new school" but it does have something that backs up my point: kuzco is revealed to be an orphan and just before his father went and got lost at sea, he asked yzma (who was also his advisor) to take care of kuzco if anything happened to him. so, yeah, the writers who worked on the series clearly thought that yzma genuinely did raise kuzco, and nothing in the movie contradicts this.

and i find the idea of her being his only parental figure for pretty much his whole childhood incredibly interesting because, and this also goes back into why she wouldn't be a better ruler than him--she mirrors him as a reflection of what would've become of him if he'd never met pacha. they're both incredibly arrogant, power-hungry, selfish, and cruel, with a tendency to blame their problems on everyone but themselves. yzma was even originally going to have her own reprise of kuzco's theme song "perfect world", which i really wish had been kept:

[ID: Lyrics that read:

I'Il be the sovereign queen of the nation And the chicest chick in creation I'm the cat with all the cream and ooh-la-la This deadly concentration Will put an end to my frustration Now this perfect world begins and ends with moi

What's my name? Yzma, Yzma, Yzma Yzma (what's my name?) Yzma, Yzma (What'd you say?) Yzma (Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!) Yzma. End ID]

(this song can be fully heard in "the sweatbox", the documentary about the making of the movie, and is also on youtube btw)

anyway, i'm sure yzma would not exactly have been the most nurturing or hands-on guardian, especially given that she and kuzco don't exactly treat each other like family. but it makes a lot of sense to think that her behavior influened kuzco's throughout the years. and for the entire movie, she remains determined to kill him. when he tries to reason with her and admits that he should've been nicer, she says the same thing to him that he originally said when he fired her. she never grows or changes and in the end, she hurts the one person who was willing to stand by her (and even then, kronk had never fully been on board with her plan) and he ends up trying to crush her with a chandelier. kuzco on the other hand is able to realize the error of his ways, come to regret who he was in the past, and start taking steps toward being a better person. his theme song gets a reprise where it's changed from a song about one person being the center of the world to a Power Of Friendship song. why? because, as i've already mentioned, he has pacha.

pacha, who similarly to both yzma and kuzco is in a position of authority as the leader of the village but unlike either of them is gentle and humble. who isn't afraid to stand up to kuzco and be honest with him even though he's the emperor, who agrees to take him back to the palace but has no obligation to be so helpful, kind, and caring toward him--and just about every reason not to be--and still chooses to be anyway. pacha who is 45 years old (also stated in the sweatbox documentary) and can see that kuzco is practically still a kid, not a single day over 18, who has time to grow and change. pacha, who already has a wife and two kids with another on the way, but practically treats kuzco like one of his own. who acknowledges that if kuzco dies all his problems will be gone and then still worries about him and goes out of his way to rescue him after he wanders into the jungle. who sees kuzco shivering at night and covers him with his poncho, who carries him when he's genuinely too weak to keep walking, who refuses to give up on him even after repeatedly being betrayed by him because he believes there's good in everyone.

also, while yzma ends up repeating kuzco's harsh words of dismissal as she tells him of her plans to kill him, kuzco had previously repeated pacha's words that "nobody's that heartless" after he saved pacha's life. and as the movie progresses kuzco and pacha's relationship becomes more and more equal and is constantly contrasted by moments of yzma being cruel and unappreciative of kronk's kindness. a good example of this is how kronk is constantly being forced to carry yzma everywhere on his back while yzma literally walks all over him and steps on his hands when she gets down, whereas when pacha briefly carries kuzco after the latter collapses he tells him he'll have to walk the rest of the way later and kuzco doesn't even protest.

idk if i'm even explaining well what i'm trying to say here. but basically, if yzma actually raised kuzco and contributed to his current behavior, then she and pacha both are figures who guided him and helped him grow. only yzma helped him become the tyrant that he was at the start of the movie, who was selfish and callous and saw everyone else as beneath him. whereas pacha helped him see the value in being selfless and considerate of others. and in the end, yzma is stuck as a cat and nobody is concerned about her. kronk has found a new job that makes him genuinely happy, while kuzco has decided to build a hut on the hill next to pacha's and effectively joined his family. in the sweatbox documentary it's even mentioned that chicha and the kids were at risk of being removed from the film, but it was decided that they needed to be there because having just pacha as a single guy who lived alone wasn't interesting enough--kuzco needed to go from having basically an empty world where he had nobody to being able to come together with pacha's whole family. and i just think that's incredibly satisfying and beautiful. it also leads up to one of the few things i really do enjoy about the emperor's new school, which is the fact that during the show kuzco moves in with pacha and chicha and pretty explicitly thinks of them as basically his parents while he's like a son to them.

idk. i feel like my mind went in a million different directions while i was writing all this. but i guess i just think that for all of the praise the emperor's new groove gets for its comedy and for how hilarious yzma and kronk in particular are as a duo, the movie also has a lot of genuine heart that gets overlooked. kuzco's character growth and his unique dynamic with pacha is, for me, really what elevates the movie from just a funny movie that i like to one of my favorite disney movies. and i wish more people appreciated that aspect of it and saw it as a found family story in the same way that treasure planet, brother bear, and lilo and stitch are all found family stories.

#disney #the emperor's new groove #help i wrote a whole essay about this movie #and i didn't even mention how much i love the way kuzco's home life is contrasted with pacha's #ugh. they have one of the most interesting and unique dynamics ever in a disney movie. i love them #love how kuzco gets away from yzma's toxic influence by way of accidentally being adopted #by the guy whose village he almost destroyed for a theme park #they're ENEMIES to FOUND FAMILY.... sobs #kuzco #pacha #yzma #kronk

[restinslices]

Lin Kuei Bros: Play Fighting

Smoke so dramatic-. Anyway, don’t ask why I thought of this. The voices were loud

Bi-Han

Play fighting with any of them is bold as fuck but HIM? You don't like your life 

I'm not saying he's gonna straight up assault you but out of all the brothers, he has the highest chance of hitting you hard as shit on accident 

He probably wouldn't even like play fighting that much. He'd prefer sparring cause at least you're working on your skills. Why you just fucking around?

You gotta catch him on the right day. Some days he's busy and some days he's just legit not in the mood. 

“Imma start it off slow. Imma scope the scenery out-”

If you somehow get this man to cooperate, first of all good job. Second of all, y'all do not stop until you give up. 

The type to pin you down and not let go until you admit he won. If you refuse, you're legit not moving. 

This is a big guy so you're not moving him. You give up, he lets go and you manage to crack a smile out of him

We never see him smile in the game but listen bitch, I'm here for the fantasy-

If he's not in the mood, I can see him just saying “no” like you're a puppy or smth. 

You'd go to swing on him again and he'd either grab your hand or give you a look that tells you he's being serious 

Going back to him accidentally hitting you hard as shit, he's used to sparring with two other buff ass men. Imma guess you're not as buff as them, and some of y'all reading this ain't men. Accidents are bound to happen 

You'd think the Grandmaster would have more control but I just think it slips sometimes. He's stupidly prideful and he's used to sparring so sometimes that's where his mind goes. Also once again, he probably sometimes forgets a hit Kuai Liang could handle is a hit that'll take years off your life. 

I would love to say he gets on his knees and apologizes but this is the same man who betrayed his brothers and was like “why y'all tweaking?” so um… 

You're gasping for air and he's “see why I always say no?”

I feel like I'm making him sound abusive but as someone who's play fought with my older siblings, they hit you hard as shit then tell you you're a bitch when a tear slips out. Why the fuck are you hitting me this hard in my chest? You got 5+ years on me-

He's an older brother. He's gonna hit hard. I swear it's in their DNA 

And if he does apologize it's not really verbal. He checks to make sure your limbs are alright then offers to do something else. 

“Are you gonna say you're sorry?” “For?” “For almost breaking my damn lung” “You started this”

You'd expect that the next time you wanna play fight he'd decline cause he doesn't wanna hurt you again. Wrong. 

Remember he's an older brother. THE older brother. Y'all squaring up again. You don't care about your health so fuck it. 

Honestly would be super fun besides the limb you're gonna lose 

Kuai Liang

Would be more cooperative than Bi-Han but still isn't overly excited to play fight 

Bi-Han is the “tell mom. I don't care” older brother. Kuai Liang is the “wait wait wait, I'm sorry. You can hit me back. Calm down. You want some candy?” older brother 

Fully aware he could cause terrible injuries but as time passes on, he relaxes more 

Definitely play fought as a kid but after Tomas started jumping everytime he heard his voice, he thought “maybe I need new hobbies”.

You’ve interrupted his recovery

He actively focuses on holding back and being soft even if you tell him not to

“Hit me harder” “No❤”

Honestly a fun time though. He holds back when it comes to strength but still tussles with you. Also let's you get hits in even when he could easily dodge them. 

If he accidentally injured you frfr, he's checking up on you immediately and says y'all stopping for today. 

“No, I'm ok” “Can you even breathe right now?” “Uhhh… yes😀” “We're done”

For sure feels like an asshole depending on how bad you're hurt. He's not sliding down the wall in pain but he's like “damn, that was a little too hard”. 

“You can hit me back” “No. I've seen Twilight” “What?” “It's gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you. I'm not doing that”. (Now I wanna write you making them watch Twilight. I'm never gonna be rid of this addiction-)

You gotta hit him back so y'all can be even. It's the only way to move on

Y'all are not doing that shit again for at least another week or so. 

“We gotta scrap right here right now” “No”

Does the thing older siblings do when they put their hand on your head so when you swing at them, you're just hitting air. 

It's so infuriating so you gotta stop. 

The next time though, you swear you're gonna win. You will not. 

Tomas Vrbada

The most willing and having the most fun 

Tomas has two older brothers that probably jumped him on several occasions growing up and you're gonna try and convince me he doesn't have aggression to get out?

People would probably expect he's the softest but no. He's the youngest. As the youngest myself I can assure you, we are used to putting our all in these fights cause we gotta use all our strength to defeat these evil mfs we live with. Sometimes it's not enough-

You're not his older sibling so he's not scrapping like his life depends on it but I do think he's hitting somewhat hard 

Not as hard as Bi-Han, not as soft as Kuai Liang 

You feel his hits but it's not knocking the wind outta you 

Super fun cause he's also using the environment. Definitely is grabbing a pillow and starts swinging it at you. Definitely is running around the couch to chase you. Definitely has thrown you but made sure to aim at something soft. He's probably even turned off the lights then threw a folded blanket at you 

“Cheater” “Don't be upset you didn't think of it first”

You're fighting but laughing at the same time. There's no real tension. Just fucking around. 

Probably starts initiating it too

If he does injure you fr, for a split second he'd actually see it as a victory then he'd remember you're not his older brothers and is like “oh shit-”. 

Injuring those two would mean freedom (or a worse jumping. really depends), injuring you is not good. 

He knows how bad those hits can hurt so he makes sure you're alright. He's not watching you as much as Kuai Liang would but he'd still make sure you're not overly sore. 

He doesn't feel as bad as Kuai Liang would cause he kinda knows this shit happens. Kuai Liang kinda got a little bit of guilt cause Tomas gets into a fighting stance when he raises his hand up. Tomas hasn't victimized anyone so he's more chill about these situations 😭

Tells you random ass stories about when he used to play fight with his brothers. 

“One time Bi-Han threw me in the air and Kuai Liang jumped to catch me only to throw me against the wall”

“This reminds me of when Bi-Han swept my feet from under me and Kuai Liang jumped on me”

“What is it called when someone jumps on you elbow first?”

“This one time I woke up to them standing over me. I knew it was a wrap”

“One time Bi-Han slapped the back of my neck so hard, it was red for at least a week”

“One time Kuai Liang-” “Tomas… you need a therapist” “I don't think that's what it is”

Unlike Kuai Liang who makes you wait, he's cool with scrapping days later. 

Actually says “time out” when he wants a break. Also says “time in” fast as fuck though to catch you off guard 

Legit the most fun brother. I don't make the rules (except I do). 

I did not mean to write the least for Kuai Liang but I was really brain empty for him. Y’all should give me ideas, thanks bookie

#bi han x y/n #bi han x reader #bi han sub zero #mk1 bi han #kuai liang #kuai liang x y/n #kuai liang x reader #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang mk1 #tomas vrbada #tomas vrbada smoke #tomas vrbada x y/n #tomas vrbada x reader #mk1 #mk1 2023 #mk1 x reader #mk1 x y/n #mk1 x you #lin kuei #lin kuei brothers #legit in love with all three of them #making grown buff men bby girls #babygirlification