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justviwriting · 8 months

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'Before the Rain'

Fandom: Bridgerton Characters: Siena Rosso, Anthony Bridgerton, Simon Basset, Daphne Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton Pairing: Anthony x Siena Rating: T Words: 4.721 Summary: Siena decides to go to the ball with Anthony. A/N: So I wanted to write something like this for a while now. Originally, I wanted for Siena to agree to the ball and then have them break up there. But I’ve just written a fanfic ending with their canon breakup so I gave this an open, happy ending. This turned out longer than expected but I felt like I needed to start the oneshot with Siena actually making the decision to go to the ball. So it’s also a bit angsty in the beginning. Anyway, hope you like it :)

[you can also read it on AO3]

Siena examined herself in the mirror. The dark lavender gown she wore looked beautiful. Genevieve had given it to her as a present some years ago, and Siena had kept it in the back of her wardrobe since then, never believing she would actually wear this at any point – except perhaps for a performance. The dress was quite simple, but the layered skirt, shiny silk and decent floral embroidery made it look fairly elegant and expensive. Not something she would usually wear. Genevieve had told her back then that she believed it would look gorgeous on her, and that Siena did not know what the future might hold. She had been right.

As pretty as it looked, Siena still felt somewhat odd. She forced herself to a smile then. That was what had been missing – she had looked fairly miserable.

She did not feel miserable, just conflicted. She had been conflicted about getting back together with Anthony, about his proposition to join him at the ball, and about accepting his invitation. She knew it was insane. She was doing the very thing she had always tried to avoid: she would become the centre of scandal and scrutiny. As beautiful as the idea sounded, it was still mad.

Perhaps, had he asked her months ago, she would have felt less conflicted. Of course, even then, she would have believed it to be insane. Their future together had always been very clear: He might marry at some point and she would be his mistress. Nonetheless, she had always wished things could be different; that he could take her out to dinner, or to a nice evening at the theatre. So maybe, had he asked her back then, there would not be too many doubts and worries clouding her mind. But things were different now.

She still remembered many weeks ago, in the bedroom of her old apartment, when he had told her to leave – when he had abandoned her, leaving her without protection or security. She had trusted him, and he had betrayed her. Somehow, she had been able to forgive him, and she did want to trust him again, but she did not know whether she could. Had anything really changed? Now, he wanted to take her to a ball – apparently, he did not care anymore, but what if he changed his mind again? He could easily do so, without much consequence. Sure, he, too, might suffer from scandal, but he was a man, and a wealthy one at that. He would survive the scandal and disgrace, but Siena might not.

She sighed, then got out of the dress. She could not do this, she knew that. She sat down in front of her dressing table then, removing her make up and unpinning her hair, staring at herself. She was not a lady, and she could never be that for him; could never be what he needed nor expected – or rather what society expected. But no matter how much he constantly complained about that society, he had taken his place within it. He had never known anything else either way; had never known her life.

As she thought about what to possibly tell him – thought about whether, perhaps, none of this was worth it – she was startled by a knock on the door. She knew it was him. She sighed again, then stood up and went downstairs.

When she opened the door, he had a small smile on his face. It vanished immediately, however.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, clearly surprised to see that she was not dressed yet.

Siena looked down then. “I thought about it,” she told him, avoiding his eyes. “I thought about going to that ball with you, but … I cannot do this.”

He said her name then, his voice confused, prompting her to look up at him. “What is going on?” he asked then. “I thought you liked the idea.”

Siena simply shook her head. Had he not noticed her hesitation after he had asked her to the ball? Had he ever considered the position he was putting her in? “I don’t,” she told him then, firmly. “This is madness.”

Anthony stared at her, confused, and for a moment it seemed as if he wanted to retort something, but then he looked over his shoulder, back to the carriage, before he said, “Let’s go inside.”

Siena just shook her head again but he did not wait for an answer. He went past her then, inside the flat. She sighed, exasperated. She did not need to have a conversation with him. The truth was that she needed him to leave her alone.

Still, she followed him into the drawing room but before he could say anything, she asked, “Did you ever, for a single moment, think about what I would have to go through? Consider my position in life?”

“Of course I know about your position in life,” he replied then, still clearly confused. “Why do you think I was providing for you?”

“Yet you had no trouble leaving me; no trouble throwing me out,” she retorted then, angry at his confused reaction. “Despite all of your promises, you had no trouble breaking every single one of them. Do you know what this could do to me?” she asked. “Can you imagine the scrutiny I will be greeted with? The hostility I might receive? And I have to rely on you for keeping your word,” she added as he did not reply anything. “Rely on you to protect me, even though you have shown me in the past that I can very clearly not trust a single word from you!”

The look of confusion had vanished then as it was replaced by an almost pained expression appearing on his face. He looked down before he said, “I am sorry, Siena. I know that I made mistakes, and perhaps you are right … I did not know. Maybe I still don’t understand completely.” He looked back up at her then. “I did not think. I just wanted you to join me at the ball, that is all.”

“Why?” she asked then. “Why did you ask me to go to that ball with you?” He just stared at her, as if unable to understand her question. “If you are trying to turn this into something it cannot be and will not be, because you are unhappy with your life-“

“I asked you because I wanted you there,” he interrupted her, shaking his head. Now, he appeared almost angry as well. “I asked you because … because I do not care anymore. I don’t want to hide away with you anymore.”

“We both knew that it would always be like this,” she reminded him. “I’m an opera singer, not a lady.”

“I know that,” he retorted but his slight anger had vanished. “But there are countless of married man out there, flaunting their mistresses. If I, an unmarried man, were to court an opera singer, then that is simply my business. We do not have to hide.” Siena sighed. “Look,” he added then, “if you do not want to go to that ball, then we don’t have to. If we have to continue to meet in secret, I am fine with that. I just want to be with you.” He gave her a small smile but Siena was unable to return it. “I know I have made mistakes, and I know that I have been unreliable, but I don’t want my mistakes to be the reason for why you do not want to attend that ball. If you are scared of the consequences, we do not need to go. But please, do not decide to hide away simply because you believe you cannot trust me anymore.”

“So I can trust you?” she asked then.

He stared at her for a moment, silently, before he looked down again. “I am sorry for what I have done,” he said then, looking back up. His expression was gentle now. Siena tried to seal her heart from the almost pleading gaze that appeared on his face. “I know I messed up, and I know that I have hurt you. I can apologize a million times but I cannot give you an explanation.”

“I’m aware of your explanation,” she told him then, looking away. “Or your lack thereof. But can you tell me that in a week or a month or a year you won’t feel the same again? I have never believed you to be dishonest within your promises,” she added, looking at him again. “I believe you have never thought them through.”

He just stared at her, silent. “You are right,” he said eventually. “But I’ve been trying … I’ve been trying to make things right.” Siena just shook her head, about to retort something, but he did not let her. “I know my promises might sound hollow now but I’ve been trying … trying to make it up to you. I tried after the duel – I wanted to provide for you, regardless, but you were already gone … already had someone else.” She looked at him surprised. That was the first time she heard about this. But she knew he was not lying to her. “I’m aware of my mistakes, but please … let me make it right.”

Now she was the one who was staring at him. She knew that she had already forgiven him for his mistakes – perhaps it was foolish but her heart had decided to do so. She knew his thoughts, his feelings, and it had allowed her to forgive him. But could she trust him again? Trust that he would not leave her on her own again? She had someone else to rely on now; someone she knew she could trust.

Suddenly, she felt angry again. She knew that it had all been Anthony’s fault, but in the end, the reason he had done all this was because of society. Siena could understand him well; she had always tried to play her part. She knew that, otherwise, she might not survive in this world. But she felt tired of it. She could forgive him all she wanted but she knew it would be foolish to stay with him; would be foolish to trust him again. Her feelings did not matter – they never mattered.

She sighed. Were she in a different position, she could make a decision simply based on what she wanted. What would she say then? Of course, she would go to that ball with him; of course she would be with him. Could she allow herself to? But did it really matter? This world had never cared about her either way.

“I will go to the ball with you,” she said then and her own words took her by surprise; and him as well. His face suddenly lightened up but before he could say anything, Siena added firmly, “But I will need your word that you will not leave me on my own again.”

“I promise, Siena,” he said immediately.

“I’m serious, Anthony,” she told him, and he stared at her, surprised at the use of his name. She rarely ever called him that.

“I mean it,” he said then, with an almost solemn expression on his face. “I will provide for you. I will protect you. No matter what happens.”

She looked at him. Perhaps she still trusted him, despite her intuition telling her otherwise. She sighed again, then said, “I guess I will have to change back into my dress then.”

He smiled at that before he said, “I brought you flowers.” He handed her the flowers and this time, a smile appeared on Siena’s face as well.

“I like roses,” she replied as she took them. “Although I prefer red ones.”

“Well, next time, I will bring you red roses.”

Siena laughed quietly at that, then went back upstairs. Was this mad? Definitely. But she did not care anymore. She had made a decision. And should Anthony leave her again, then she could damn herself for trusting him another time. But she would certainly not let society dictate her life. All it had ever given her was misery. Anthony had brought misery upon her as well, but also joy and happiness and peace – and that by far outweighed all the pain.

She put the flowers aside then and changed back into her dress before turning her attention to her hair and make-up. She knew they were probably already late, so she tried to hurry. As she felt that she looked presentable, she pulled over a shawl and went back downstairs.

Anthony was standing in the hallway, and as she came towards him, he turned around, staring at her. “You look beautiful,” he said. Siena gave him a smile. She could tell by his familiar stare that he would much prefer to go back upstairs, removing her dress again. However, instead he reached out his arm for her to take before saying, “Shall we?”

They went outside then, and into the carriage, where they sat down opposite each other. As the carriage began to move, Siena realised that she still felt somewhat tense. She let out a long breath, looking down, trying to calm herself. It was still insane. She did not know what to expect. Surely, people would not say a single bad word about her with Anthony by her side, but whispers would still follow. And tomorrow, when she would show up to the theatre for her rehearsals, Anthony would not be there anymore.

Apparently, he had noticed her discomfort, as he sat next to her then, putting his arm around her shoulder. Siena looked up at him, trying to force a smile.

“Are you nervous?” he asked then.

“No,” she replied, then sighed and added with a more genuine smile, “I’m terrified.”

He chuckled at that. “Why? You never thought much about those events either way. Why should it bother you now?”

“Well, I have never been to an event like this before,” Siena told him then. “Not as a guest, at least. I don’t really know … what to do or say, or what to expect in general. And I doubt that most of your people will be welcoming me with open arms,” she added then.

“Can you dance?” he asked suddenly.

Siena looked at him, bewildered at the question. “Of course I can dance.”

“Then that is all that matters,” he told her, still a smile on his face. “We will spend the entire evening dancing, and I will be by your side every second of it. Don’t worry, it will be fine.”

She gave him a smile then. Perhaps he was right. And whatever might happen tomorrow should not concern her now. She could deal with the future when it arrived.

The carriage came to a halt. The driver opened the door for them, and Anthony stepped outside before helping her out of the carriage. The place they had arrived at looked huge, and she could already hear the music and laughter. They went their way, into the courtyard, and Siena’s breath got stuck for a second, in awe of the beauty of this place. She realised that a smile had formed on her lips. However, that smile soon vanished as she noticed that she was not the only one marvelling. As they entered, a few people started turning their heads towards them, whispering. Siena did not know whether they were wondering who she was, or whether they were whispering because they knew exactly who she was – she believed it to be the latter.

“Oh, there’s Hastings,” Anthony said then, and Siena followed him. The Duke was currently in conversation with some other guest, but as he turned to his side, noticing them, he excused himself and came towards them. Siena could see the surprise on his face, followed by a smirk.

“Bridgerton,” he greeted Anthony before turning to Siena, adding, “And Miss Rosso.”

Siena gave him a smile. “Your Grace.”

“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony informed him.

“Ah, I see,” he replied, looking at Siena curiously for a second before saying, “So I believe the reason you have approached me at the club was not due to my charming personality and good looks.”

“I’m afraid not”, Siena replied.

He laughed at that. “That does hurt slightly.”

“Then I believe we are even, Your Grace,” Siena retorted with a smirk.

He gave her a smile. “I apologise for not showing up at the Opera that night. Although, considering the current situation, I do believe I should not be too sorry.”

“I agree,” said Anthony.

The Duke gave him a curious look. “So what about all your talk regarding duty and responsibility?” he asked. “Are you not, after all, taking your place in society?”

“I believe I am doing that right now,” he told him and added, “And I know that … certain things happened – certain words had been said, which I apologise for. But I would still hope for your support in this matter.”

The Duke looked at him for a moment before giving him a smile, saying, “All forgotten. And you will always have my support, especially regarding matters like this.”

Anthony smiled and they shook hands, as Siena watched them, curiously. She did not know what this was about, but certainly not just about her presence at the ball.

It was good to know that they had the Duke on their side, and she was fairly glad that her first conversation this evening had gone so well. Perhaps, if they danced for the rest of the night, it would remain that way.

Just as that thought had crossed her mind, Anthony spotted his sister. Siena, taking his arm, followed him to meet her.

She had heard many things about Daphne Bridgerton – or the Duchess of Hastings, as she was known now. Anthony had shared quite a lot about her, as she was the eldest of his sisters, and the first to be introduced to society, under his responsibility. And the past weeks, everyone at the theatre had been talking about her and the Duke as well. She could have not escaped the many rumours surrounding her, even if she had wanted to.

As they went towards her, Siena could not help but notice what a beautiful young woman she was. She looked very young but her expressions and demeanour could easily belong to a woman twice her age.

As Daphne noticed them, Siena could see the cautious curiosity appearing on her face. She had nonetheless a small smile on her lips as she approached them – possibly to hide the surprise.

“Anthony…” she said carefully, clear wonder in her voice, as she was looking back and forth between them.

He greeted her before he said, “This is Miss Siena Rosso.”

“The soprano?” Daphne asked then. “I have seen you perform at the Opera before. You are marvellous.”

“Thank you, Your Grace,” Siena replied, curtsying slightly.

“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony told her. Daphne appeared confused for a moment, clearly unable to reply anything to that. Anthony broke the short silence then by saying, “Considering you are a married woman now, I believe I can be a bit more … upfront with you: Miss Rosso and I have been together for the past two years.” He looked down for a second, and Siena smirked slightly, realising that he was apparently embarrassed to talk to his sister about matters like this.

Daphne stared at him, surprised. “Together…” she repeated his words, still looking back and forth between them. Although Anthony had not really been upfront with his words at all, Siena could tell from Daphne’s expression that she had understood what her brother meant.

“I would have obviously informed you about this beforehand,” Anthony said then, looking back up, “but it was a fairly sudden decision.”

“Have you talked to the Duke yet?” Daphne asked then. “And does mother know?”

“I have not yet informed our mother, but I have just talked to your husband,” he told her. “He appeared to be quite delighted.”

“Well, then so am I,” she replied, and now the smile was back on her face as she turned to Siena. “I hope you will have a splendid time, Miss Rosso.”

“I am certain I will, Your Grace,” Siena told her. As she left, Siena added to Anthony, “That sounded like it was more for appearances than anything else.”

Anthony smiled. “Oddly enough, I don’t believe that. I feel like marriage might have changed her – for better or worse, I cannot tell yet.” He turned towards her then. “Now that we have greeted our hosts, you have the choice of what to do next: We could get a drink, we could dance, or we could talk to my mother.”

Siena looked at him, silent for a moment. The Duke had not been an issue, and she had been fairly curious about meeting his sister. The thought of talking to his mother, however, made her slightly nervous. She did not know too much about Lady Bridgerton, but she did know that Anthony loved her very much, and she also knew that his mother wanted for him to marry. She knew how protective mothers could be of their sons, and also knew that the Dowager Viscountess would probably not be too fond of meeting her son’s mistress.

“Maybe a drink before we talk to your mother,” she said then and Anthony laughed. “Perhaps we should dance first,” she added.

Anthony gave her a smile but then his gaze went past her and he said, “Too late, my mother has noticed us and is coming over here right now.”

Surprised, Siena turned around. Lady Bridgerton was, in fact, approaching them, her expression just as curious as the one that had been on her daughter’s face earlier.

Anthony greeted her and Lady Bridgerton gave him a smile before immediately turning to Siena. “Miss Rosso.”

“Lady Bridgerton,” Siena greeted her, trying to give her a small smile, although she still felt slightly nervous. Despite the welcoming smile on Lady Bridgerton’s face, there was something rather … dignified about her.

“Miss Rosso is my guest for tonight,” Anthony repeated for the third time this evening.

“I can see that,” Lady Bridgerton replied. “I am curious…” she added towards her son. “The last time we spoke, you told me that you were not seeing one another anymore.”

“Well, I … have changed my mind,” he told her then. Siena could hear the uncertainty in his voice, but his face was quite determined.

Siena’s gaze went to Lady Bridgerton then, who examined her son with a look Siena could not quite understand. Perhaps, she was trying to read Anthony’s mind, as she was looking at him quietly for a moment, not replying anything to his words. Then, suddenly, Lady Bridgerton’s eyes went back to Siena, and surprised, Siena looked down.

“I have heard about the new opera premiering soon,” she said then, prompting Siena to look back up at her. “I have also heard that, apparently, you have inspired it. It certainly sounds like it will be a success.”

“I do hope so,” Siena told her. “We will start rehearsals soon.” Her thoughts went back to the composer then. She had not informed him about attending the ball with Anthony, as she had not seen him since then – or thought about him at all, really. She felt slightly guilty now, knowing that he will probably find out tomorrow – through rumours at the theatre – that she had chosen another man.

Lady Bridgerton was still looking at her, and Siena wondered whether she should say anything further. Although she would prefer to remain quiet, as she was afraid she might say the wrong thing.

Thankfully, Anthony was the one who broke the silence then, saying, “Well, the main reason I have asked Miss Rosso to join me tonight was so we could dance together. If you will excuse us,” he added, reaching out his hand to Siena. She took it, giving him a smile.

As they joined the dancefloor for a waltz, Siena said, “That went well.”

“I certainly expected her to be more shocked,” Anthony replied. “But I don’t believe that I have ever seen you that flustered before,” he added.

“I was not flustered,” Siena protested and he smiled at her. “Perhaps I felt a bit … nervous about meeting to your mother.”

“Why?” he asked, slightly amused.

“Well … I wanted her to like me,” Siena told him. “Or at least not give her any reason to mislike me.”

He chuckled slightly at that. “I don’t believe there is anything you could have said to make her mislike you,” he said. “I’m certain she might not be too fond of this … situation, but if anything, she will be mad at me for it, not you. My mother is a kind woman,” he added. “You don’t have to worry. I’m the one who will have to deal with her reproval.”

Siena gave him a smile as they continued to dance. Even now, as she was swaying across the dancefloor in his arms, she could not believe that she had done this. She looked around then, and noticed the many faces – staring and whispering.

“They are all looking at us,” she said then.

“Just ignore them,” he told her. That was easy for him to say. Although, he was not wrong. Those people had never cared much about her either way; had never really respected her. It should not matter what they thought of her now.

So instead of paying attention to the gossiping guests, she allowed herself to get lost in Anthony’s dark eyes, enjoying this moment in his arms. She had never even dared to dream of something like this happening; always knowing they would spend their life together in secret. The thought put a smile on her face, and he smiled in return.

“I wish I could kiss you,” he whispered then.

Siena laughed quietly. “Now that would certainly be a scandal, my lord.”

He gave her another smile and it looked like he wanted to reply something, but suddenly, out of nowhere, it started to rain. Siena was taken by surprise, as was everyone around her. Women, shouting, as their dresses got soaked, letting the gentlemen help them run inside. Anthony, too, took her by the arm then, leading her under the roof. The rain had appeared so suddenly and heavily that, despite their fast reaction, Siena’s dress was completely soaked now.

“Well, that was a short dance,” Anthony sighed and Siena laughed. Then, she took a look around. To her left, there was a quiet corner, leading towards the garden, she believed. It was still raining, but they were both already wet, and it was a warm summer night. She gave him a smile and then went around the corner, knowing Anthony would follow her.

She entered the deserted garden, looking up at the sky for a second, letting the rain drops fall on her face. She smiled, then turned around.

Anthony was staring at her, smiling as well. She reached out her hand then. “A dance, my lord?”

He laughed, and then took her hand. They continued their waltz, with Siena leading him now, as the heavy rain was falling down on them. They swayed around for a while, staring at one another. Siena’s hand moved into his wet hair, caressing it. He gave her a smile, which she returned. She still did not know whether it had been the right decision – most likely not. But right now, in that very moment, she felt happy.

“You are the worst thing that ever happened to me, Anthony Bridgerton,” she told him with a smile.

“And you are the worst thing that ever happened to me, Siena Rosso,” he replied and Siena laughed.

She brushed through his hair, smiling at him, before she said, “But to my dismay, also the best.”

He looked at her for a moment, then bent down, softly putting his lips onto hers. She pulled him closer, deepening the kiss, as the rain continued to fall. She was happy. And perhaps, that was the only thing that mattered.

#bridgerton #fanfiction #siena rosso #anthony bridgerton #anthony x siena #santhony

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nastasyafilippovnas · 2 years

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Ghost Town by First Aid Kid came on shuffle this morning and I was hit by a ton of santhony feels:

And I can see it now you're married

And your wife is with a child

And you're all laughing in the garden

And I'm lost somewhere in your mind

And this:

And I found myself attached

To this railroad track

But I'll come back to you someday

To you, to you, to you someday

It’s so them 😭

#bridgerton for ts #bridgerton #anthony x siena #santhony #anthony bridgerton #siena rosso #if i wasn’t so busy with real life I’d totally vid it

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quotergirl19 · 2 months

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Here are some parallels I couldn’t help but notice between the Penelope & Siena:

Siena shows up uninvited at Genevieve Delacroix’s house at night and refers to herself as the most notorious opera singer in all of London.

Penelope shows up at Genevieve’s house at night. Genevieve calls Penelope the most notorious gossip writer in London.

Colin told Penelope, “I will always look after you Penelope. You are special to me,” in the last episode of season 2. He devastated her when she overheard him mocking the very idea of wanting her.

Anthony told Siena, “You have me. I will always protect you,” in episode 1 of season 1 and then he devastated her by ending their relationship.

Colin tells Penelope that he misses her but he hurt her and she no longer believes him or trusts him and has decided to focus on finding a new gentleman.

Anthony missed Siena but he hurt her and she no longer believes him or trusts him and decided to focus on finding a new gentleman.

Anthony tried not to be jealous when he thought she might be pairing off with his friend the Duke and she reminds him that Simon is a handsome, titled gentleman of great wealth and exactly the sort of man someone in her position would want. Anthony can’t deny his jealousy when seeing that she has found someone who sees her and wants her.

Ultimately, Anthony is forced to accept that even though there was something between them, his mistreatment of Siena and taking her for granted made her unwilling to trust him again. So she chose another gentleman and Anthony lost her for good.

Penelope is about to meet Lord Debling (who I hope turns out to be a friend of Colin’s) and he’s going to think the world of Penelope, and appreciate and choose her. Colin is going to have to watch and come to terms with the fact that he took her for granted and may lose her.

#Quotergirl random thoughts #it’s the same vibe #i love parallels #bridgerton #polin #anthony bridgerton #siena rosso #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #netflix bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 speculation #shondaland #bridgerton netflix #she fell first he fell harder #penelope x colin #colin x penelope

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darklinaforever · 1 month

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Was Anthony in love with Siena, and she with him ? (Because I've seen a lot of people ask this question, the answer to which is quite obvious...)

No. He liked her / had some forms of feelings for her / cared about her, and was used to her, but was clearly not in love with her.

Especially since their relationship was above all something very, very carnal, and not really emotional, something essential when talking about being in love. Anthony never seemed to talk to her about his personal demons in relation to his life and his family either.

Even when he sought to assure Bénédict that Siena would be taken care of if he ever died during the duel against Simon, it was more a way of honoring his word to her than out of love ; Anthony rightly attaches great importance to these things as his honor and duties.

Siena was the one thing Anthony had for himself even outside of his family. It was therefore an obvious way of escaping one's responsibilities concerning them ; Hence why when Siena finally leaves him for good, Anthony is finally ready to take charge of his role as viscount by choosing a viscountess, as has been expected of him for a while now.

According to season 2, Anthony explains that he never wanted to succumb to the blind delight of being in love, and even needs this feeling explained / described to him (by Daphné, his own little sister) that he doesn't really understand. So it's obvious that Anthony never felt true romantic love before Kate came into his life.

Jonathan Bailey, the actor of Anthony, himself once explained (at least it seems to me) that his character, before meeting Kate, had always established relationships in which he was certain that he would never fall in love with the womans involved.

Kate is described in the show as a woman unlike any other Anthony has ever met, by the latter himself, as well as as Anthony's real true love by Violet, during a scene where Anthony truly cries for the first time since the death of his father, upon learning that Kate has finally woken up from her coma.

As for Sienna, she also cared for Anthony, liked him / had some form of feelings for him, and was used to him. Quite obvious since she cries during their final separation. But she clearly wasn't in love with him either.

For what ? Because she was looking for stability, a way to secure her future life through a relationship with a man who would take care of her / provide for her needs. This is what Anthony represented above all in his eyes.

It's also very revealing that when he announces that he has to stop dating them, the first thing Siena says is that he had promised to always watch over her. Love or simple affection is not a question here.

Especially since Siena seems after a while to end up wanting the company of a man who values / prioritizes her in a general way, in addition to financial security. Especially since a man who prioritizes Siena, technically offers the latter much more certainty / security of the financial situation, which she must obviously understand / know.

Things she wants / needs, and which Siena eventually realizes, Anthony could never fully give her ; because of all his repeated empty promises in season 1, to always prioritize his family, and not take responsibility for her, without forgetting the commitment problems that Anthony seemed to have on the relational level in general (and of which we spectators, will learn the depth and the reason in season 2, the latter having always avoided romantic feelings since the death of his father).

Hence these reasons, why Siena ended up changing men at the end of season 1, without telling Anthony (which is still quite vicious for me but he is not better with her anyway), with the aim of putting him against the wall and finally stop their relationship (which was already going straight to the wall) for good.

But essentially, while Anthony primarily used Siena to escape responsibility, Siena primarily used Anthony for financial stability. Despite the few feelings they had for each other, their relationship was mainly based on a transactional exchange.

Through their primarily sexual affair, Anthony could escape his responsibilities as viscount, and Siena could achieve financial stability. In short, a relationship of toxic dependence (destined to be ephemeral on Anthony's side) has established itself between the two characters. A relationship therefore doomed to failure, and where romance did not really have its place, despite an attachment having developed between them with the time.

The answer to the initial question is therefore ; No. Anthony and Siena were not in love with each other. They certainly liked each other, were used to each other and above all dependent on each other. But not in love.

Siena left Anthony to live a better life for herself, and thanks to that, Anthony was finally able to take responsibility for his marriage. Thanks to this he was able to meet Kate, the real true love of his life, in addition to being the first to really introduce him to Love.

I can't even understand how people could believe that Anthony and Siena were in love with each other. Kate is obviously the one and only from this point of view.

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misstwentyynine · 1 year

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Sharing a few snippets from the queer kanthony fic that I’ve been working on for the past month. Feeling really proud of this story and hoping to have the first part on AO3 soon!

Fourplay

Summary: Anthony Bridgerton and Thomas Dorset used to hook up after their lectures at Oxford. Kate Sharma and Siena Rosso used to make out behind the art shack at their summer camp. Years later in a twist of fate, Kate and Siena reconnect at an artist’s salon hosted by Benedict. The only issue is that Kate is now married to Anthony and Siena as fate would have it, is with Thomas. They reconnect, they spend the evening together, and somewhere during it all they fall into something even better than before.

Also don’t miss a siena/kate enemies to lovers backstory and tooth rotting kanthony fluff as they navigate their reentry into non-monogamy after becoming new parents.

#fourplay #because there’s four of them 👀#everyone is bi but you bet I’m tagging them all #bisexual kate sharma #bisexual anthony bridgerton #bisexual thomas dorset #bisexual siena rosso #bisexual kanthony #queer kanthony #kate x anthony #kanthony #kate sharma #anthony bridgerton #siena rosso #thomas dorset #LGBridgerTonQA #bridgerton #gay bridgerton

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dylanobrienisbatman · 1 year

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What made you ship Siena/Anthony?? Given that you also like Kate/Anthony. Obviously you can like both but I’m just curious since not many ship the former if they like the latter. The fandom isn’t big on multi shipping.

Oh hi anon!

Honestly, I liked them because they came from different mediums, so in the show Siena served a purpose in the narrative that made it work for me.

Honestly, the story of kanthony in the books isn’t actually my fave, the longer I’ve spent after reading it. I think book Anthony is very aggressive, and their dynamic is kind of weird in parts. But I loved the way she forces him to see that this plans to be lonely forever and to never find love because he’s sure he’ll die young are just… dumb. And I love how much she takes him by surprise. He never expects her and that’s always fun. Plus, the antagonists to lovers vibe is always fun.

Going into s2 tho, I LOVE the actress they chose to play Kate, and I love the changes they’ve made to Anthony, which I think also make me more excited for Kanthony. He’s a lot softer, I think they’ve taken out his aggression and turned it into him being very earnest in his efforts to do what’s right, if maybe he does the wrong thing through those efforts.

And honestly his relationship with Siena is part of that? Like we see that he’s not actually against love, just against a ‘proper’ love. He can die, and Siena won’t be left abandoned like his family was after his father, because they were never going to actually be a family. He allows himself to ‘love’ Siena because it’s safer. He knew they could never be together, so he doesn’t have to feel that anxiety when he’s with her. Now that he has to find a wife, he has resigned himself to doing his duty, rather than following his heart, because it keeps him ‘safe’ from that fear and anxiety.

I think him and Siena had extraordinary chemistry, and I think she was the perfect way to show us that Anthony has such huge capacity for love before his season, so that we know it’s only a matter of time before he falls for Kate. I feel like she got a lot of hate, and I don’t really get why? Like it’s obvious she was never going to be his endgame romance, and it’s also obvious that he wasn’t in love with her, he just loved her and found companionship with her. It also showed us that he likes women who don’t play by the rules, he doesn’t want a Daphne type debutante, he wants someone who will challenge him, which really reinforces that edwina is never going to be the right choice for him in s2.

I think Siena was the perfect set up to follow Anthony into s2, showing that he does want to find love, which will make his efforts to stop himself from falling for Kate all the more angsty and dramatic. Plus, I think him going into s2 with a bit of a broken heart adds to that angsty mess because he will have convinced himself that Siena was his true love, and that nobody could compare. Enter, Kate Sharma.

Honestly, I just think they both work for me because they serve different purposes? And honestly the chemistry and the fun, carefree feeling of Anthony and Siena’s relationship towards the beginning was so refreshing. I’m a sucker for him wanting to protect her and keep her safe even though he knew he shouldn’t. Plus, it makes Kate’s weird jealousy about the opera singer from the book actually make more sense. i also really want the show to focus more on ‘regular’ people, which is why i’m also a huge sucker for Theo x Eloise, and i was hoping for more Benedict x Genevieve too, though that pairing got way less development

Idk if that answers your question?

#this is MONTHS late i’m so sorry lol #i found it fully written in my drafts #anyway #siena x anthony #siena rosso #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #kanthony #bridgerton

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jbaileyedits · 8 months

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Anthony Bridgerton (Jonathan Bailey) in every episode of Bridgerton : 3/∞

"My apologies. I've taxed your patience for the last time." Season 1, episode 4 "An Affair of Honor".

In terms of Jonny's acting choices, this is one of my favorite scenes from the season and the show. The despair and mental exhaustion of Anthony are so palpable.

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triviareads · 2 years

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Do you have a snippet for she’s not in the attic?

Why yes, I do- For the WIP Game:

“Maybe we’ll break up,” Kate said idly, amazed by how much even saying those words hurt.

“He’ll never let that happen," Siena said. "You’re likelier to end up married.”

“Jesus,” Kate said, taken aback. The concept of high school sweethearts was as foreign to her as most people here considered arranged marriages.

“What’s the matter? Would that interfere with your Ten-Year Plan?”

“I wonder what his thoughts on naming our kid Arnav would be,” Kate instead mused, half in jest, and the other half not so much.

Siena gave her an all-too-knowing look.

#bridgerton #kate sharma #kathony #kanthony #siena rosso #anthony x kate #anthony bridgerton #wip game #ask

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midnightrings · 15 days

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SIENA ROSSO and ANTHONY BRIDGERTON

-> Bridgerton 1.08: After the Rain (1/3)

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justviwriting · 11 months

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Chapters: 1/5 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Siena Rosso Characters: Siena Rosso, Anthony Bridgerton, Genevieve Delacroix Additional Tags: a bit of romance and a bit of angst, still includes a bunch of ocs, Sexual Content, mention of sex work, mention of sexual exploitation, Unwanted Pregnancy, Abortion, most of the warnings are non-pov experiences tho Series: Part 2 of Illicit Affairs Summary:

"'You’ve been together for barely a few weeks,' Genevieve said then. 'And he clearly cannot stay away from you. I know – those walls are fairly thin.' Siena chuckled slightly. 'He has been quite convincing. There is no reason for me not to trust him.' 'So you do trust him?' Genevieve asked. 'Or do you want to trust him? Because I can tell you quite like him – the way you keep talking about him, and smile. One might believe you have fallen in love...'

A sequel to my previous short-fic ‘Stolen Stares’, following Anthony and Siena’s affair pre-series.

#Bridgerton #fanfiction #siena rosso #anthony bridgerton #Anthony x Siena #genevieve delacroix #i think i found a new muse with siena lmao #but really i cannot stop writing about her

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ladypeaches4summerluv · 2 years

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Cherries pt2

"Infamous in the way that all of school ha- has been…buzzing about having someone new and fresh around" Eloise stated weakly trying to save Colin. Her eyes darted to Penelope for reassurance. Penlope could only offer the group a small sigh and knowing smile.

Kate really hoped they didn't think she was that nieve. "Hmmm right. Well then where can a girl find a drink around here?" As she gestures towards their cups.

"Oh the bars set up outside…on the back patio." Colin answered her with just the hint of a devilish smirk. A classic signature of someone up to no good. Sighing Kate looked around as Eloise and Penelope did everything in their power to look at anything but her.

"Just keep heading down this way" Colin pointed to the back hallway "till you see a set of glass french doors. Then just go on through. Bars right out there love." The devil in disguise is still smiling. Like a cat who ate the Canary.

"Odd but whatever" she waved him off "Thanks. I'll find you guys in a bit." As she started her journey to find something to drink. The hallway was fairly scarce, a few people loitering about. Even the freaking hallways were impressive, it was quite annoying. Her sandals clacked against the tiled floors, she tugged at jean shorts suddenly feeling anxious.out of place. She reached the french doors and could see people moving about in the courtyard through the decorative glass.

Soon as the doors swung open she realized it was much more mellow out here than she anticipated. Glancing around she finally spotted the bar cart. Unfortunately as the running theme for her life since she had moved away from Somerset,or perhaps Collins meddling. Her luck had run out once again. Standing in front of the bar vibrantly discussing or possibly even arguing about something, was Anthony Bridgertong and his on again off again fling Sienna Rosso. Girlfriend? Mistress? Lady of the night he was often seen leaving with. She giggled to herself trying to decide if she wanted a drink that badly. Testing out the waters she slowly started to make her way to the bar. Once Kate was within visible distance, Anthony suddenly started to change his demeanor. Looking less frustrated, more trance like shallow breathing eyes growing hungry. Sienna had yet to notice as she kept cursing and yelling switching between english and italian.

“ You just want something in your life to make you feel wanted Anthony! Or distract you. I haven't decided which but we are clearly just wasting time with each other. Why can't you hear what I'm saying? I'm trying so hard here, Anthony Jesus!! Everything has changed and I'm not -Anthony? Anthony!” Sienna had finally noticed that Anthony was looking feral, breathing deeply, gripping his party cup. and it was obviously not at her. She looked around until her eyes found none other than Kate Sharma behind her. “Of course..” Sienna muttered to herself. Stepping back to observe Kate's reaction to Anthony's pheromones going berserk. Kate must have realized that the heated convo had stopped as the gin in her hand ended up being a heavy pour. Most likely focused on straining her ears instead of pouring her drink. Gently putting the gin down on the table and grabbing some lemons. Kate whipped around only to immediately lock eyes on Anthony. For several beats of silence no one said anything. Anthony and Kate just having the most erotic and tension filled staring contest Sienna has ever seen in her life. Finally Anthony broke the silence. “Heyy..” his eyes breaking contact in favor of ogling her cleavage before darting back up.

Kate wasn't quite aware of what was happening; she had just wanted a drink before getting caught up in the drama. Turning around expecting to see Anthony walking away from sienna. Except he was right there, his eyes ablaze and locking directly on her. She suddenly understood why making eye contact with Anthony Bridgerton might have been considered dangerous before. Because it was magnetic and electric.Grounding and unsettling. But mostly his gaze on her was simply breathtaking. Felt like she was meant for this man and he for her. It could have just been lust, or the gin and tonics but seeing as she had yet to take a sip. Before the moment could become too sappy his eyes darted to her chest. She bit her lip to hold back her grin. Men are at least predictable. Subconsciously pulling down her low cut tank top before lightly greeting him “Hey” That's it. That was her grand response she inwardly cringed. What in the world is happening? She suddenly noticed Sienna standing off to the right. Observing them with a look on her face Kate could quite place. Frustration and understanding almost. Daring to glance back at Anthony. His passionate staring had yet to cease.

#cherries au #anthony x kate #siena rosso #bridgerton #modern au #a03 fic #a03 tags

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leviathanspain · 2 years

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was there something broke with my body?

anthony bridgerton x reader, benedict bridgerton x reader

synopsis: anthony’s betrayal has you second guessing yourself, benedict can’t help but prove to you just how wrong his brother is

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

he was a fucking bastard. you were fuming with rage upon hearing of his affair with the opera singer. you were inconsolable in the first hours after, clutching onto daphne’s skirts as you cried your little heart out. you cursed her brother, cursed the man you called your husband, and cried until the duke had to carry you to bed, so his wife could be relived of being your own personal tissue.

you stirred in your bed when you heard the doors open, a shuffle of footsteps alerted you to anthony’s presence.

luckily, daphne had warned her family and the staff before she left, not to sleep too deeply because you were going to tear into anthony.

as soon as you rubbed the crust out of your eyes, you blinked and your eyes flickered onto anthony, who seemed oblivious to your knowledge.

“didn’t mean to wake you, darling.” he was undressing and you narrowed your eyes.

“i guess you also didn’t mean to tell me about siena.” you couldn’t dance around the subject, you were too angry, even after your nap, your anger was like an entire separate being, something that fueled you.

anthony had always known that you were a person who felt too much, who felt too little, and often you blew up if you kept it all in. he had begged you to communicate with him after the first few months of your marriage was rougher than he’d initially believed it would’ve been. he had fallen in love with you but it was harder to stay in love.

now, he didn’t know how to defend himself as he swallowed thickly.

“im a man. im allowed to have a mistress.” he stopped undressing and moved towards the bed, his steps light as he composed himself from any shock.

your eye twitched slightly as anthony braced himself for your explosion. but your lips settled into a tight lipped line, “get the hell out.”

anthony raised an eyebrow, “what?” he knew exactly what you had said, but he was more surprised that you had even said it.

“i said, get out. sleep on the couch, sleep on the floor outside like the fucking dog you are- i don’t care, anthony. i don’t want you in my bedroom and i certainly don’t want you sleeping next to me.” your voice was like venom, each word was a stinging blow to anthony as he stood there speechless.

you were upset. you wanted nothing more than to scream, shout, throw things, destroy everything in sight and more, but you realized that’s exactly what anthony had expected, so you shrugged it off and waited until anthony bowed his head in embarrassment, collected some of his things and flew out of the room. and only then did you cry, tears broke and you held your sobs in, knowing that the rest of the bridgerton family had been listening, waiting like your husband, for your outburst. you struggled to sleep that night, for the first time in many years.

benedict had thought his brother to be the biggest idiot on the planet. he had courted you, married you, and he still wasn’t happy? benedict couldn’t even imagine that it was your bedroom skills, considering how happy anthony had been after your first night together, and many more after that. even your cries at night were enough to keep benedict awake with a throbbing erection, begging for friction.

you didn’t show up to breakfast, anthony was distraught at breakfast and spoke tightly to everyone, especially his mother who had begged him to go apologize to you. anthony had ignored her advice, “i know my wife better than any of you!” perhaps he had been right, but times that anthony had ignored you at dinner where the times that benedict had gotten to know you more, conversed and chatted with you. he could confidently say that your intelligence rivaled those of the men he surrounded himself with.

benedict had asked your maid about your condition and the maid’s grim expression was enough to warrant a visit. benedict knew you liked watching him draw, and he brought his sketch pad, hoping it would help cheer you up if he drew whatever you wanted.

a knock on the door awoke you. the candles in your bedroom were dim and the moonlight pouring in from the window were enough to help illuminate the path towards the door. it was late, perhaps anthony had come to grab more of his things, or perhaps he’d come back ready to get an earful.

but you opened the door to find a sheepish benedict smiling on the other end.

“ben.” you spoke his name quietly and benedict nodded, “i’m not even allowed to be here but i snuck around.” you peered behind him and stepped aside, letting him in.

benedict sucked in air as he stepped inside the warm room, and he turned back to look at you, your hands still on the doorknob.

he also looked down to notice you were wearing an incredibly sheer nightgown. his ears felt hot as his cheeks tinted a bright pink.

you didn’t seem to notice this as you shuffled back to your pillow filled, fluffed up bed. benedict composed up a smile and lifted his supplies, “i wanted to cheer you up.”

you managed a small smile, “how could it be that i married the wrong bridgerton boy..” it wasn’t a question for benedict to answer, more like a pondering question, but nevertheless benedict answered.

“same as how the greatest create. it happens, and sometimes those things can bring even brighter gifts.” benedict whispered, and you warmed up a smile. you patted the mattress next to you, and benedict took up a spot next to you.

he settled in and you yawned, laying your head on his shoulder as he turned to a blank page, “draw me.” you whispered, never having anyone who’s drawn you.

benedict smiled, and got to work, drawing you as you were, laying on his shoulder.

it was a fast sketch, not too detailed but once he finished you sucked in a breath, “that’s how you see me?”

benedict smiled, “you mean, beautiful as ever?”

you smirked, “i didn’t think i actually looked like that..” you took the sketch pad in your hand and admired the work.

“what did you think you looked like?” benedict asked and you shrugged, “ugly enough for anthony not to want me.” benedict paused and you looked up to him, eyes wide and watery, “is there something wrong with me?”

you stood up and tore your nightgown off, leaving your body bare and open for benedict to take in. he wanted to shield his eyes, he wanted to give you your privacy. it was wrong to gaze upon your supple breasts, take in your thighs and curves. you were his brothers wife.

“is my body not beautiful enough for him that he’d want another?!” your voice raised slightly and benedict snapped out of his daze.

he lowered his eyes, “you’re beautiful.” he stood up, picking up a blanket from the bed. he walked towards you and set the blanket on your shoulders, “he’s a fucking idiot.” benedict replied.

you sniffled, tears had welled in your anguish bjt you nodded, “draw me again. all of me.”

benedict knew better than to protest. it wouldn’t be wrong, he was an artist and you were his muse. no one would end of finding the drawings anyway, why should he crucify himself when he could make you happy?

“of course, my dove.” he muttered and sat on the bed, as you stepped back and let the blanket hang on your shoulders, your body on display as benedict furiously worked. he got every curve, every point, every rounded circle of your body. you were endlessly beautiful, your body was something he’d stay up nights imagining and you were so close to him, so close he wanted to touch you, kiss you, stick his head between your thighs and more.

but he hesitated, but your small smile after he presented the drawing was enough to send him reeling.

you walked to the bed and looked at benedict proudly. you grabbed his hand, the one that had been his drawing hand, with pencil marks on his fingers, you dragged it up onto your bare hip, the marks getting all over you. benedict hitched a breath as tou moaned slightly at the touch. benedict followed your lead as you led his hand to your abdomen, and up to the planes of your breasts. benedict couldn’t do it anymore, he lost himself in you, you were all he thought about, the only thing that flooded his mind.

“please.” you begged as his hand neared your throat. benedict stifled a groan as he lifted you easily, putting your bare fund, dripping wet, over his onto his lap. his cock was unbearably hard in his trousers, and he wanted nothing more than to fuck you senseless, but this was an opportunity to show you how true bridgerton men should fuck.

he kissed your breasts, each nipple finding a tug between his teeth. you moaned out as your hand wrapped around his neck, the other pulling at his hair. benedict was bracing himself on you, hands glued to your waist.

“fuck.” he muttered and he let his hand move down to your cunt, and you gasped as he touched your clit, fiddling around with it, you clutched onto him, his shirt fabric twisting under your touch. you wanted to cry out, but you had nearly forgotten who you were with, and who you were around.

“you’re so beautiful.” he spoke, his voice seemed to quiver with the pressure of you on top of him. he wanted nothing more than to live in your folds, breathe you in and hold you close to him forever.

“kiss me, ben.” his lips teased yours, and benedict did as you asked, taking your lips into his and moving your mouths in sync. you whimpered slightly and he smiled to himself. your hand moved down to fiddle with his trousers but benedict held a hand down, “it’s harder than it looks.” and he unbuckled his trousers himself, cock springing out.

you chewed on your lip as the realization of what you were doing was sinking in. benedict seemed to feel your hesitation and he set a understanding expression, “i’d understand if you don’t want to.”

you shook your head, “i do. it’s just, it’s been a long time.” you admitted and benedict smiled, “really?” he hadn’t even expected anything close to that answer but you forced your head to nod, god your mouth felt like cotton balls. you laughed, “it’s slightly embarrassing but anthony and i had stopped just a few months after we got married. i guess, i shouldn’t have been surprised that he has a mistress.”

benedict shook his head, hand trailing down your arm, a touch that radiated more than just the sexual energy you were giving. “let me show you how much you deserved to be loved..”

benedict held onto you as he nudged you off his lap and onto your back on the bed. he smiled when you held in a squeal, kissing you before he shoved his cock in. you held onto his forearm as he did so and benedict hissed at the friction. he felt amazingly good, and you cried out as he moved suddenly.

benedict groaned lightly, his head falling deep into your shoulder as he thrusted. you whimpered, the pressure of his cock inside you was enough to begin building your orgasm.

“fuck-“ you gritted as he fucked you, and benedict panted slightly, “cum for me, dove, please.” his tone at the end, that whimper of a word was enough to throw you off the edge. you practically screamed, pleasure filling your body as you convulsed, and benedict fucked you through it. he came in your cunt, cum coating your insides as you shivered, coming down from the orgasmic high.

as if he had a queue card, anthony threw the doors open and his face was an expression of pure rage, “what in the absolute fuck is going on here?”

#anthony bridgerton angst #anthony bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton smut #bridgerton fandom #bridgerton smut #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton angst #bridgerton fanfiction

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thebabblingbrookenook · 1 year

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Not Like This

Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x Female Reader

Summary: You’ve kept your feelings for Anthony in check for a long time. That all changes when he crosses that line himself. Can you move forward together, or will this drive you apart?

Warnings: Foreplay, Heavy Petting, Fondling, Plenty of other good stuff

Word Count: 6.4K

Author’s Note - @colettebronte what would I do without you to read over all my tippy-tappies. Thank you so much.

____________________________________________

Lies!

It was always a lie with him. How were you ever supposed to get over your trust issues when the person you thought you would never have to second guess constantly led you astray? His word was supposed to be as good as gold. If you couldn’t rely on the local weatherman, then how could you possibly be expected to rely on anyone else?

Staring out your living room window, you scowled at the rain pouring from the sunless sky. This day was far from the promised clear skies with a light breeze. It was the exact opposite, and it laughed in the face of all of your scheduled plans. Plans that you had been looking forward to for days. Plans that weren’t easily rescheduled due to the company they required.

Anthony was almost impossible to pin down these days. When you met at uni, you were both unencumbered, free to do exactly as you pleased. There weren’t any responsibilities lurking over you like a wet blanket. If he called you at 1 AM on a weeknight you could talk to him about nothing for two hours until he would finally fall asleep. If you invited him out at the last minute to grab a bite to eat, he’d drop whatever he was doing and meet you at the hole-in-the-wall pub you loved to frequent. But you weren’t at uni anymore. You were both proper adults now. Well, at least he was. You were giving it your best effort, but still found yourself flailing most of the time.

You missed him. You missed the way things used to be. The easy laughter and the companionship. The sense of being understood and feeling less alone. You missed arguing with him over stupid things that didn’t matter. You missed spending Sundays with his chaotic family, and watching him transform into a completely different person in the presence of his mother. And even though you shouldn’t, you really, really shouldn’t, you missed the ache in your chest when he smiled at you. The heat that blushed your skin whenever he touched you. Even though you knew those touches were never meant as more than friendship.

Those were dangerous feelings. Feelings that you had murdered a long time ago. You had to, there was no other choice. You were friends and nothing more. If you let yourself imagine any other reality for too long, it would have ruined it all. Anthony was the kind of man that it would be easy to love, and that was a trap that you weren’t willing to walk into.

But that didn’t stop you from missing him. It didn’t stop you from the ugly jealousy you felt when you took a back seat every time he got a new girlfriend. It didn’t stifle your rage when one of those aforementioned women mishandled the fragile, loving heart that he liked to keep hidden below the surface. His current infatuation was the worst offender of them all. Siena…

The on-again off-again nature of their relationship was exhausting to watch. He wasn’t perfect, he made his share of contributions to their toxic dynamic, but never in your life had you seen him allow himself to be treated this way. She held him under some sort of spell that you would never understand. The man that you knew, normally confident to an obnoxious level, was reduced to crippling insecurity when they were in one of their down-swings. Unfortunately for everyone else, that insecurity usually presented itself as frustration and anger, making him unbearable to be around at times.

That’s normally when you lost him to his other mistress - work. You would never begrudge him the success that he had built for himself. You were proud of him for everything that he had achieved. Running a thriving company at the age of thirty-two was no small feat. It was just disappointing when he buried himself there, once again leaving you at the mercy of his robust schedule. You were forced to live on whatever meager scraps he had left to give.

Which brings you back to now. Your throat burned with the effort to hold back your tears when you read his easily predicted request to reschedule.

A: It’s really coming down out there. Can we maybe do this when there isn’t a real threat of drowning?

You rolled your eyes. He could be so fussy sometimes. You would have been willing to be soaked to the bone if it meant spending some time with him. Not ready to give up just yet, you sent an alternate solution.

Y: Coward… Maybe we could go visit your mum instead. I haven’t seen her for ages. We could bring dinner.

His answering response took longer than it should have. Your stomach twisted in knots while those three little dots taunted you. You were expecting paragraphs, but what you got instead…

A: Don’t be mad…

Your heart sank. This didn’t bode well.

Y: Too late. That definitely shouldn’t have been your opening statement if you had any hope of avoiding my wrath. Now I’m primed for conflict. Explain…

You tried to deflect with humor to hide the true extent of your disappointment.

A: Good to know. I’ll adjust my tactics for the next time I fuck up…

A: Violet Bridgerton would be overjoyed to see you. You should go… I just can’t come with you.

Y: Uh oh. Why not? Did you piss her off again? I told you to dial it back with the mansplaining, Ant.

A: I DO NOT MANSPLAIN!

A: I just know a lot about a lot. I offer my wisdom where I can with simple and efficient instruction. It’s called being helpful.

Y: Did you just mansplain mansplaining to me? You’re unbelievable…No wonder your mum doesn’t want to hang out with you.

A: Good God, you’re bratty. My mother adores me.

Y: Then why can’t we go visit her tonight?

A: Well… when it started pissing down rain I assumed we wouldn’t be able to go hiking. I knew you wouldn’t mind postponing for more sensible weather, so I made plans for my evening. You deserve the day you had your heart set on, not consolation plans. We’ll map out a whole day… Just for us. I promise…

The day you had your heart set on… You didn’t need hiking for that, just him. It took everything in you not to respond with bitterness.

Y: You promise?

A: I swear it. Still friends?

Y: TBD

~~~~~~~~~~

The rain stopped two hours later… It was clear now, that nature, and maybe even the weatherman, was openly mocking you. All you could do was laugh at the absurdity. If you didn’t laugh, you might cry, and nobody wanted that. You needed to find something to do. Something that would take your mind off the lingering disappointment that was trying to coax you back into bed for the rest of the day.

You decided to visit Violet. You didn’t need Anthony for that. The two of you had grown close over the years, developed a relationship of your own. The fact that you had been waiting for an invitation from her son to pop by for a visit suddenly seemed ludicrous.

Like he usually was, Anthony had been right about his mother’s joy in seeing you. When she opened her door to find you standing awkwardly on her steps, she hugged you so tightly it practically squeezed the life from you. When you offered to take her out for a late lunch, she declared that idea nonsense and insisted that you come in and catch up. Her chef had prepared a generous midday spread in anticipation of Colin stopping by. Apparently Violet had volunteered to watch the little ones while Colin surprised his wife, Penelope, with a weekend trip for her birthday.

“I’m so glad you decided to come and see me today,” Violet said, handing you a perfectly made fresh cup of tea. It was no surprise that she didn’t even need to ask how you took it. “I was just thinking about you this morning. Anthony had mentioned that you planned to spend the day together…”

You didn’t miss her subtle attempt at finding out why you weren’t currently with her son. You always had a sense that Violet was quietly rooting for the two of you to end up together. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that you were nothing more than friends.

“We rescheduled,” you smiled tightly, taking a sip from your tea.

Almost imperceptibly, her eyes narrowed, and then softened as she observed you. It was impossible to hide from her. “We… or he,” she asked knowingly.

“We both agreed hiking might be better on a day when it wasn’t pouring.” Her unspoken interrogation tactics sent you into an anxious babble. “I asked if he wanted to do something else, but he already had plans. It’s fine. I know he’s busy. He promised to set aside a day just for us.”

“Being busy doesn’t justify being inconsiderate, dear. His father and I taught him better than that,” she huffed in frustration. “I love my son, but you’re too easy on him.”

You felt yourself sink in your chair. “I don’t think I’m too easy on him. I just know how much he has on his plate. I’m trying to be con- …” You paused on the last word, realizing the trap she had expertly set for you.

“Considerate?” Violet smirked, finishing your sentence.

“Fair enough,” you conceded. “I brush it off just as much for my benefit as for his. It takes a lot of energy to be mad at him, and he’s a lot better at arguing than me. Besides, I know it is never his intention to hurt my feelings.”

Violet sighed, clearly weighing how to proceed. “Regardless of his intentions, however benign they might be, he still needs to know when something he’s done has hurt you. Aside from Benedict, you’re his best friend. If anyone has the privilege of being direct with him, it’s you. Anthony is brilliant in a lot of ways, but emotional intelligence is not his strong suit. He’ll gladly take the path of least resistance if you let him. As long as it is easier to disappoint you than someone else…” She held your gaze, making sure you were listening to her words. “Well, you’ll never be prioritized in the way you deserve if there isn’t a consequence for him to consider. I know he values you, but darling, occasionally you’ve got to make him work for it.”

His words from earlier in the day echoed in your mind. I knew you wouldn’t mind… so I made other plans. God, that was pathetic. She was right, he knew exactly how much he could get away with, and it was nobody’s fault but your own. Could he take his head out of his ass every once in a while and see below the surface - yes. Was it fair to expect him to read your mind - probably not.

“Make him work for it, huh?” You asked, a trace of a smile playing on your lips.

“Oh, absolutely. When have you ever known Anthony to shy away from a good challenge?” She patted your hand affectionately. “I think the person you need to worry about having a little more consideration for is yourself, y/n.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Your afternoon with Violet had given you a lot to think about. If you wanted things to change, you needed to do your part. It was going to take a lot of trial and error, and it was probably going to be messy and uncomfortable for a while, but he was worth it. Your relationship with him was worth it. You were worth it.

You wouldn’t lie, it scared you. But the idea of resenting him scared you even more. For years now, he has been the one solid presence in your life. He was fiercely protective, loving you in the ways that he knew how, showing you parts of himself that you suspected others were not privy to. That wasn’t something that you took lightly, and it wasn’t something you were willing to gamble with. If a potential fight with him now meant the possibility of having him close years from now… you’d risk it all.

It was well past dark now, the rain had resumed its onslaught, and you were huddled safely beneath the warmth of your favorite cashmere throw on the sofa. Book in hand, your eyes scanned the words on the page, begging them to take you somewhere else. In the end, your efforts were fruitless. After the third pass over the same sentence, you admitted defeat. Your mind refused to be dragged away from him. You were going to need assistance. Wine, you needed wine.

Reluctantly, you uncurled from your blanket and trudged off in the direction of the kitchen. You had just turned the corner down the hall when the buzzer at your front door sounded, freezing you in place. With the intensity that you were currently staring at said door, you would have thought you could see right through it.

A quick glance at your phone told you it was far too late for any rational person to come round.

Inching slowly towards the door, you jumped when the loud, incessant buzzer sounded again. Your heart thrummed in your chest. Anyone showing up at nearly midnight couldn’t be anything other than trouble.

You pressed your ear against the sturdy wood door, listening for any signs of distress or malintent. Silence, aside from the heavy beating of the rain.

“Who’s there?” you braved.

“Open up and find out,” replied a muffled voice, distorted by the thick wooden door separating you. You were kicking yourself for not heeding Anthony’s suggestion to install a peep hole. He could never know about this…

Leaving the chain latched, you cautiously cracked the door open just wide enough to peek out.

Standing there, sopping wet and shivering with the cold, was Anthony Bridgerton. His brilliant smile was only made more adorable by the chattering of his teeth. He held up a bag of Chinese take-away from your favorite local spot. No doubt an attempt to wiggle back into your good graces. Or maybe he just knew that the promise of food would at the very least grant him access over the threshold.

“Dumplings for my Dumplin’...” he beamed. When you made no move to unlatch the lock, his lip jutted out in a pout that he borrowed from his brother. “Oh, come on Sass. Let me in. You don’t want me to catch a chill, do you?”

Standing your ground, you schooled your features, hiding the slight lifting at the corners of your mouth. He only used that nickname when he was prepared to resort to Level 5 groveling. Sass, short for Sassy, previously known as Sassy Pants.

“You must really think I’m easy, huh? You thought I would just open wide at the sight of you holding wontons?” You heard the unintended innuendo the moment the words left your mouth. “What kind of girl do you take me for?”

The smirk he now wore was trouble personified. “You know you want it, Sass. I even got the special sauce you like. And if that’s not enough,” he paused, pulling something from behind his back. “I also brought wine.”

Now he was speaking your language. Without saying a word, you closed the door in his face and took your time unlatching the metal chain from its sheath. The look on his face was priceless when you reappeared a moment later. “For a second there I thought you might actually leave me out here.”

“Me too,” you admitted, only half joking. “But that’s a good bottle of wine.”

He followed you down the hall towards the living room to deposit your bribe on the coffee table. When you went to make your way to the kitchen he reached out to gently clutch your wrist, effectively halting your steps. “Ah, ah, ah,” he tutted. “You sit down and get comfy. I’ll grab us some plates.”

“Okay,” you shrugged, nuzzling back into your previously vacated spot on the sofa. “The wine glasses are…”

“I know where they are,” he grinned, draping your blanket over your lap. “Give me a second. I’ll be right back.”

He returned a moment later with his arms full, balancing the items with precision and grace. You always loved watching the way he moved. Every step was laced with purpose and intention. Every turn of his head, or flex of his fingers radiated capability. His shoulders were built to carry responsibility. His posture was centered and balanced. Poised to lead. It was comforting - the way he was just so… Anthony.

He took his place next to you on the sofa, pouring you a healthy glass of wine. “What are you doing here, Anthony?”

“Do I need a reason other than I wanted to see you…” he asked without meeting your eyes, piling food onto plates for the both of you.

Your mouth watered from the wafting scent of steamed dumplings being pushed into your lap as a hopeful distraction. He was clever to ply you with food and drink, but it wasn’t enough to nullify the suspicion building in your brain. “If it were six o’clock, then no, you wouldn’t need any other reason. But at midnight… I have a hard time believing you just couldn’t live without seeing me until morning. So how about we try this again. What are you doing here, Ant?”

He finally looked up from his food to face your questioning. “I had a shit day and I was feeling restless. I just needed to be somewhere…” he paused, an unsettling despondency creeping into the depths of his dark eyes. “... with someone that felt like home. I know I could have gone to Ben’s, but you were the one I really wanted. I miss you. We used to do this kind of thing all the time…”

A snarky response about canceled plans danced on the tip of your tongue but your irritation was quickly losing steam. Something about the slump of his shoulders and the set of his jaw made your eyes burn with unshed tears. Releasing the last remnants of bitterness, you plopped a dumpling into your mouth and lovingly chastised him. “You could have at least called instead of showing up like a crazy person in the middle of the night.”

“Why,” he grinned. “Did I scare you?”

“No.” you protested immediately.

Glossing over your false declaration, he teased, “You could have avoided the fear if you would have just let me install the security system I recommended.”

A change of subject was in order. “So, you had a rough day, huh?”

He shot you an incredulous look that told you he was well aware of your redirect but he relented nonetheless. If the size of his answering sigh was any correlation, it was a rough day indeed. “How much time do you have?”

“Apparently, all night,” you smirked before popping another dumpling in your mouth.

“Do you remember the Whitehall account I was telling you about?”

You sat back and let him get everything out. Most of the time very little participation was required of you in these types of conversations. He looked for your occasional affirmation or nod of agreement, but for the most part, he always worked it all out on his own. He just needed to process out loud to another person.

Over the next hour, the two of you polished off your midnight dinner and opened a second bottle of wine. It was a relief to just be in his presence. There was nothing to get between you. No distracting work calls or annoying girlfriends to pull at his attention. The sound of his laugh eased the ache in your chest. This was the day you had your heart set on. You didn’t need an activity or a fancy outing - just him.

When his eyes closed, head drooping to rest on the back of the sofa, you gathered your dinner plates and walked them into the kitchen. You’d wake him once you’d finished tidying and prepped the guest room for him to crash in for the night.

You were elbow deep in soapy water when you felt him come up behind you, reaching his arms around you to place your empty wine glasses in the sink. Instead of immediately moving away, he lingered, the heat from his body caressing down your spine. Pressing his chest to your back, his arms locked around your middle, squeezing you in a tight hug. You let your head fall back to rest on his shoulder.

“Thanks for tonight,” his voice was soft and low in your ear.

Not ready for the embrace to end, you brought one soapy hand to clutch his forearm that held tight to your waist. “I’m glad you came. Even if it was at an unreasonable hour.”

The breath from his laugh tickled your neck as he bent to bury his face in your shoulder. You weren’t complaining, but this was an unusually long hug. His nose nuzzled against you, and you melted into him.

“You smell nice,” he purred. His hands unlocked from around you and his fingers brushed along your waist, settling on your hips with a firm grip. “You feel nice too.”

Your body froze against his. What was happening? He’d never spoken to you like this before, let alone felt you up. His roaming hands were making it hard for you to think. The close proximity was covering you in a lusty fog, throwing your reasoning skills out the window. Your entire body was humming with excitement, begging that small part of your brain that still had questions to shut the hell up. This was Anthony… your best friend. Dangerous, this was dangerous. But on the other hand, this was Anthony… Gorgeous, sexy, tempting Anthony. The same Anthony that snuck into your dreams at night to unravel you - mind, body, and soul. This would literally be a fantasy.

“Anthony,” your voice was breathy and dazed. “What are you doing?”

“Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time,” his lips pressed into the skin at your jaw. “This feels so good. Do you want to feel good with me?”

His words dripped down your body like warm honey, collecting at the apex of your thighs. A surge of desire spread through you like a wildfire, sending your heartbeat into a crazed frenzy. Answering his question, you captured one of his hands, sliding it up your body to cup your breast. The warmth of his palm seeped through the thin fabric of the tank-top your wore sans bra. You were dressed for bed when he showed up on your doorstep, wearing little more than a camisole, drawstring pj shorts, and fuzzy socks.

There was a sudden intake of breath at your brazen form of consent. He held you securely, lightly squeezing to get a feel for the weight of you. Your nipples hardened at his touch, clearly visible beneath the pale pink cotton separating your skin from his.

Moving forward, he pressed into your body, pinning your hips between him and the cold marble countertop. You could feel him, firm and commanding, growing harder in his snug jeans. His mouth tasted every inch of your skin from your earlobe to shoulder as he drug the thin strap down your arm. His lips left a trail of electricity in their wake, each spot they touched creating a new pulse point beneath the surface.

Turning your face to him with a gentle pull, those devilish, hungry lips finally devoured yours. Of all the times you thought about kissing him, not one compared to the real thing. Your senses were bum-rushed, temporarily rendering you deaf, mute, and blind. But the taste of him… God! It enveloped you, forever altering your palate. Sweets would never be as sweet, and salt would lose its bite. Flavors you once craved would now always seem bland in comparison.

His tongue was strong and insistent, exploring your mouth with fervor, coaxing yours to play with him. The intensity of what was happening was starting to make you lightheaded. Only when he broke the kiss were you able to acknowledge the existence of anything outside of where your bodies touched.

Your lust-filled eyes watched as your top was pulled down, exposing your breasts to his onslaught. The look he gave you was deadly as he cupped you tightly and bent his head to suck your puckered nipple into his mouth. The wet heat of his tongue swirling around had you shivering in his arms. You could feel your legs go slack, his body now keeping you from slumping to the floor.

His free hand ventured to the knot in the drawstring of your shorts, expertly untangling the silk bow. He had always been good at multitasking and this was no exception.

Very slowly, his fingers pushed past the elastic band resting against your tummy, and went in search of the welcoming slit between your legs. His fingernails scraped across your skin as they traveled through your pubic hair, finally gliding inside to find you dripping with desire. The unhurried, languorous strokes liquified your bones. You were about to cross the point of no return. Soon, you would lose all sense of reason. You had to decide now. Were you really going to fuck your bestfriend? Your body screamed a resounding “Hell yes,” but your heart was waving frantically for your attention.

You needed to know what this meant before anything else happened. You needed to know if this was real. You knew yourself well enough to know that you wouldn’t be able to walk away from something this monumental unchanged. After all this time, why now?

“Anthony, wait…” His hand stilled but he didn’t remove it. “I need to ask you something.”

“Mmm, what’s that,” he hummed, still nibbling along the cord of your neck.

You almost stopped yourself from asking because you were afraid of the answer, but you needed to know. “Who were you with tonight before you came here?”

Every inch of him went rigid. He pulled his hand from your shorts and splayed it across your abdomen in a steadying gesture. “Y/n…” he whispered, almost begging you not to make him say it. He knew you wouldn’t like the answer.

“Were you with her?” You had to gather the courage to say her name. “Siena?”

His silence was deafening. His voice startled you when he finally spoke. “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t matter. You’re the one I want to be with right now.”

Right now… That was where your fear lived. Was this just a pleasant distraction for him? Something to get lost in for a few hours before running back to her. Your heart was already breaking.

Gently, you stepped out of his reach and adjusted your clothes so that you were fully covered. Without a drop of anger, you said, “We can’t, Anthony. I can’t…”

The look of pure devastation that darkened his face almost sent you straight back into his arms. “Did I misread? That kiss… that was… it felt like you wanted this too. Is it me? Have I done something wrong?”

You were reaching out for him before you even registered that your feet were moving. “Anthony, no. Of course not. I do want this, and that’s the problem. If I’m being honest with myself, I think I’ve wanted this for a long time. I want it. I want you. Just not like this…”

“I don’t understand,” his brow was creased with worry.

Violet’s words from earlier that day were echoing in your mind. She was right. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. You had already decided that your relationship with Anthony was worth the risk of upsetting the balance a little. This was a prime example of that. Twenty-four hours ago, you wouldn’t have stopped him. You would have convinced yourself that this was what he needed, and you would deal with your own repercussions later. But now…

“I’m afraid,” you confessed.

Panic flashed over his face. “Of me?”

“If we sleep together, I’m going to love you.” You met his troubled gaze. “And I can’t afford to love you if this isn’t real.”

“You don’t believe this is real for me?” Hurt… he was hurt.

“I think part of it is real,” you blinked back your tears. “But can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me that some part of this wasn’t because she hurt you tonight?”

“It’s over between us. We’re finished. There is nothing left worth turning back to. And when I finally realized that, I saw things with more clarity. You…us… it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

You could feel the adrenaline coursing through you. He was saying things that you always wanted to hear, but was it enough? “Will you still feel this way a month from now? Because I will…”

He stepped closer, taking both of your hands in his. “Yes, I think I will.”

“I need you to know, Ant. I need you to be certain. You’re too important to me to risk crossing that line for a maybe. And I don’t want our beginning to be built on someone else’s ruins.”

A single, silent tear dripped down your cheek. This was a lot harder than you thought it was going to be.

He pulled you in, crushing you against his chest. “I’m sorry, y/n. I’m sorry. You mean everything to me. Please don’t hate me for this.”

Wrapping your arms around him, you allowed yourself a moment of indulgence. His warmth and familiarity were soothing, and the faint scent of amber that lingered on his clothes from his cologne brought you to a place of safety. You committed it all to memory, storing the moment in your heart, just in case this was the last time…

Reluctantly, you removed yourself. You needed distance for what came next. “Anthony, I don’t hate you. I’m not sure I could ever hate you. But…”

The words were stuck in your throat as you bargained with yourself not to cry.

“Say it,” he begged. “Please, just say it. I can’t take the silence.”

“Sometimes I feel like an afterthought, and that, I do hate. It hurts, Anthony. I think of you constantly. About what you need, about how you feel. I know you care for me. I know that… but sometimes this friendship is unbalanced. That’s partially my fault. I never told you what I needed. I never asked for more. So, this is me asking.”

“I - I didn’t realize… What can I do? Tell me how to fix this,” he implored.

“Consider me,” you poured out. “Prioritize me on occasion. See beyond yourself to the person standing in front of you. Did you even think about what something this huge would mean for me in our relationship? Did you think about tomorrow? Did you weigh my risks when you weighed yours? You and me… it’s one of the only good things I have, so I have to protect it. I know it’s different for you, and that’s okay. I just… I just need you to think of me, because it’s hard for me to think of myself.”

Determination transformed his posture. “I can do that. I promise to take my head out of my ass if you promise to keep being honest with me. You’re a better liar than you think, Sass.” His thumb swiped across your cheek, wiping away a tear. “Maybe this makes me an idiot, but I was completely in the dark that you were feeling any of this. You’re always so strong and unbothered. So easy… but I should have known better. I could have looked harder. Just know, it was never because I didn’t care. I trust you implicitly, so when you tell me you’re fine, I take you at your word. I never want you to think that I find it easy to set you aside. I took you for granted, and that hurt you. I’m sorry - truly. It was never my intention.”

You smiled up at him, exhaustion suddenly soaking through to settle in your bones. “I know, Anthony. I know.”

His remorseful expression was laced with pain and sadness. “Do you want to know what hurts me in all of this?”

The thought of being the one to cause him pain was like a punch to the gut, but the two of you had decided on honesty, and it was only fair that he should be able to speak freely. You gave him a silent nod and braced yourself. “It hurts to know how much of yourself you hid from me. It hurts to know that there is at least a small part of you that doesn’t trust me enough to let me see those pieces. Like you’re just waiting for me to let you down and prove yourself right. If you want me to see you, really see you, you have to give me a fighting chance. You have to let me look.”

True terror took hold of you at his words. “And if you don’t like what you see?”

“Then we face our demons together. You show me yours and I’ll show you mine. We trust each other. We make each other better. I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”

“No,” you assured him. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

“That’s a relief,” he laughed, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand.

“So, what now…” you asked nervously. This was new ground and your legs were still shaky.

“Now - now I go home. It’s late. We’re both exhausted. This was a lot, but I don’t regret it. None of it. Do you?”

“No,” you whispered. “I’m still a little shaken, and definitely… stimulated, but no. No regrets.”

“Stimulated, huh?” He smirked, quickening your heart rate with a single look. “Are you sure you don’t wan-”

“Anthony…” you cut him off.

“I know, I know. Not like this. I can respect that… even though it’s killing me not to touch you right now.”

“Yeah, it’s going to be a long night,” you agreed.

You walked him to the front door so that you could lock up behind him. He watched you with amusement while you unlatched the chain and twisted the bolts keeping the dangers of the outside world at bay. “You really should let me install that security system.”

“Goodnight, Anthony,” you offered him a resigned sigh.

He turned to you from the small porch outside your door. He was lingering, but you didn’t mind. You could feel the words building in him, gathering courage and composure. “Can I see you tomorrow,” he asked, the fear of rejection hovering over him.

“I’d like that.” It would be so easy to invite him back inside and let goodnight turn into good morning, but you only possessed so much self control. “Call me… AFTER 10AM, please. Someone rudely kept me up half the night.”

“What an inconsiderate prick,” he scowled playfully.

Your laughter was cut short when he took a very intentional step into your space. Slowly, as not to spook you, he lifted a hand to the side of your face, sliding his fingers into your hair to hold you by the neck. His eyes bore into yours, perfectly conveying the need that was now burning in his chest. Your tongue reflexively ran over your lips, wetting them in preparation. You didn’t step away. You didn’t break his stare. One more kiss wouldn’t make a difference, right?

He was gentle this time, tentative even. But when that familiar taste washed over your tongue, you opened your mouth for him, welcoming the invasion. You fought the urge to wrap yourself around him and drag him to the ground right then and there.

When he finally pulled away, you were both panting and out of breath. “Sass…” the low vibration of his voice snaked its way down your body, curling deliciously deep in your stomach. “Tomorrow… A month from now… It doesn’t matter. How I feel isn’t going to change. I know you need more than words. Promise me that you’ll let me prove it to you.”

“I’ll try.” It was all you had to give right now.

“Me too.” And then he was gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sleep was a stranger to you for most of the night. Competing images clamored through your brain for hours after he left. The feel and the taste of him. The pain and confusion behind his eyes. Your own fear threatened to rise up and wash you out to sea.

The relentless tossing and turning only served to deepen your exhaustion. Eventually, you accepted your fate and dragged yourself from bed and went in search of coffee.

The rain still refused to ease, casting a dreary grey over everything. The idea of sitting alone, pathetically waiting by the phone for Anthony was unbearable. This new state of limbo that you found yourself in was the most unsettled you had ever been. You were standing on a terrifying precipice. No matter what happened, your life was going to drastically change. Too much was said for things to stay the same. You would either move forward, together, or, you would go separate ways.

Not knowing was a special kind of torture. Even the worst case scenario outcome would come as a relief. At least then the waiting would be over.

You had to chastise yourself for the better part of the morning. Old habits really did die hard. You tried, because you promised him that you would. You tried to stop anticipating the dreaded other shoe. You tried to not assume that he had spent the whole night thinking about what a colossal mistake he was making with you. You tried to believe that he would prove it.

Consumed by your internal battle, you almost didn’t hear your phone buzzing.

It was Anthony - one minute past ten.

He sounded relieved to hear your hello. “You answered,” he sighed.

“You called,” was your reply.

“I was up all night,” his sleepy voice confessed.

“Yeah, me too.”

A long, pregnant pause filled the space between you.

“Day number one, Sass. I haven’t changed my mind. Are you ready to let me start proving it to you?”

This was it, the moment you had been begging for all morning. The moment that ended the waiting.

“I’ll try,” you promised with a smile bright in your voice.

________________________________________

@faye-tale @eleanor-bradstreet @musicismyoxygen84 @bridgertontess @heeyyyou @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @queen-of-the-misfit-toys

#Anthony Bridgerton Fanfiction #Anthony Bridgerton and Reader #Anthony Bridgerton and You #Bridgerton Modern AU #Anthony Bridgerton x Reader #Anthony Bridgerton x You

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