#and you threw it all away man!

[zisadoreart]

Oh look I posted a thing!

#gk art #gk #gilda ambrosio #asirpa #sugimoto saichi #ogata #ogata hyakunosuke #sugimoto the immortal #anime #satoru noda #NOT SHIP ART #these three are like a rivalry of siblings that turns bloody #ogata you were so close #you were THIS CLOSE to being a good pseudo big brother #you said Hinna AND citatap! #and you threw it all away man! #i imagine an au where they all get along peacefully

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

No time to play. You are being sent away.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #yu ziyuan #jiang yanli #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Do you know how hard it was to *not* do a 'Sold To One Direction' spoof comic? It took nearly all my will power. #Mostly because it misaligns a little too far off from the canon events and vibes. #But sit with me for a moment. Consider it: #“BEEP BEEP BEEP. I threw my pillow at my alarm clock. ”Wei Wuxian get your lazy ass downstairs!“ Yu Ziyuan yelled. #I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my grey orbs staring back at me. #I put my long straight black hair in a ponytail with a red ribbon. #I went downstairs to see my adoptive mother holding a bottle of vodka and a cigarette. #'Listen up whore! I need money to pay the bills so I sold you. Your new owners will be here any minute so go pack!' #I stormed upstairs. There was no way I was going to let her sell me to a creepy old man! #I decided to run away. Since I'm not like other girls I don't have very many friends. #My gay friend Lan Zhan was mean but he lived like a block away. #As I opened the door I saw Wen Chao blocking the door. 'Ello Love. We're your new owners!' #I rolled my eyes and pushed him. 'Aren't you from that stupid Wen Sect? There's no way in hell I'm going with you!' #Hey again. It's me the OP of this blog taking a pause. I haven't actually read this story before aside from the memes #and I am honestly reeling from how this watpad fic chapter ends. What do you mean one of the one direction boys chloroforms her??? #Chapter 2 is so much worse #Why is there such a strong focus on the *eyes* of every boy!!! #This fanfic is a horror story actually. I came into it trying to make a funny parody but I got in over my head. Dear God. #It's me again. Several minutes have passed and I'm on chapter 4. What the FUCK is going on here? #I feel like I opened up pandora's box hoping for a fun little treat and got the plauge upon me. Dont read this fic.

[p4nishers]

i need content of codywan that just started working together like the first few months where their dynamic is cody barely resisting the urge to strangle his general and obi wan being like. already fucking head over heels for him.

like cody was expecting someone highly impressive based on his records so he obviously is excited to work with him cause his batchmates already met him on kamino and genosis and they all liked him which was, looking back, probably a prank on codys sanity and his bastard gremlin vode were absulately dying laughing at him. anyway so he obviously has high expectations and then this slutty "hello there" mf turns up with no self-preservation whatsoever, a feral demon child of a padawan, half the republic tailing him for every bullshit imaginable and beef with EVERY SINGLE SITH EVER???? WHICH HE SOLVES BY ???? FUCKING FLIRTING WITH THEM????? so you can imagine codys not having a great time.

meanwhile, obi wan daydreams about cody constantly. draws up their wedding invitations before even meeting him. praises him every opportunity he gets. kicks his feet and giggles about codys sarcastic comments ABOUT HIM while being in a room with CODY. stops talking in the middle of his sentence when he spots cody across the room and waves at him with the biggest smile possible. sets up regular sparring practices with the vode just so he MIGHT have an opportunity to be close to cody. labels the time when cody accidentally fell on him because of an explosion and touched his lips for 0.00001 milliseconds as their first kiss and gossips about it to quinlan. calls bant regularly to update her on everything cody does ever. buys every kind of tea and caf he can afford as an excuse to talk to cody and go into his courters. flirts with cody 24/7 and blushes tomato red when cody smirks at him and thinks about it so much he constantly walks into walls and tables and chairs and shinies and. breaks a table after cody stubs his toe into it. passes the fuck out when cody carries him this one (1) time, not bc of blood loss or anything simply too much attraction. constantly searches the force for codys signature even when they're not in the same system. calls him disgustingly sappy petnames in every other sentence. corners all of codys batchmates and asks thousands of questions about cody bc he cannot get them out of the man for the life of him and yes, wolffe, he absulately will die without knowing codys favorite color what kind of question is that. cody smiles once a month and obi wan thanks him everytime. cody hands him back his lightsaber for the first time and he proposes, loudly, cody ignores him completely and walks away. convinces anakin and ahsoka to drop "subtle" hints that he would be a good husband.

and everyone around them is having the time of their life watching codys right eye twitch whenever he's in a room with kenobi long enough while the man himself doesn't take his eyes off the commander during the entire 4 hour meeting and blushes everytime cody looks at him without a fail. cody barely refrains from throwing his datapad at his general when he suggests some self-sacrificing bullshit again.

it's truly like:

obi wan, beaming and eyes possibly gleaming with adoration: hello there, cody. how are you today?

cody, grinding his teeth together: fine, sir. wanted to talk to you about this report cause it's seems to be mistaken. surely, you're not thinking of blowing yourself up just so that TWO man, who are not even in any immediate danger whatsoever, can escape. right?

obi wan, brightening even further bc he loves their daily "banter": oh but of course, my dear, they're valuable men and anyway, i promised anakin he'd get to use the explosives this time.

cody, right eye starting to twitch horribly: right, of course, stupid of me to ask. one more thing, general, you wouldn't decommission me for anything i do, would you, sir ?

obi wan: what– darling, of course not. why would you–

cody: alright then [punches obi wan then walks away]

obi wan:

obi wan: i'm so in love with that man.

it's said that to this day obi wan still giggles in the most inappropriate times about that punch because cody was SO HANDSOME YOU DONT GET IT MACE THE LIGHT HIT HIM JUST RIGHT AND–

anyway codys hatred lasts till obi wan saves rex by putting himself in danger and when they get back, both bruised and bloody but amazingly alive and obi wan smiles at him like he always does with rex draped across his scarred shoulder, something in cody just settles and thinks. oh. oh. so this is what bly was talking about.

#this came to me in a dream #anakin wrinkles his nose and asks himself why would his dad be in love w the most boring mf ever then witnesses that punch and fucking #cheers cause he finally understands yeah the guy is great he once threw an orange at his masters head and obi wan was so busy staring into #his eyes he forgot to deflect and it him fair and square on the forehead and he fell backwards off his chair and everyone turned to cody #shrugged and muttered 'bastard fucking deserved it he know what he did' and fucking walked away. anakin never been prouder of #having a ba'vodu in his LIFE #anyways the point of all of this is thag obi wan is down TREMENDOUSLY and codys is unimpressed af and i need to see that more in fics #codywan #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #clone wars #tcw #sw #star wars #gay #also YOU KNOW i had to add bly YOU KNOW OK I AM TRULY CONVINCED HE WAS THE FIRST CLONE TO FALL IN LOVE AND TALK ABT ROMANTIC LOVE AND ALL #THAT SHIT AND THE VODE BEING SKEPTICAL LIKE IDK MAN MAYBE U WERE DROPPED AS A TUBIE TF ARE U TALKING ABOUT AND BLY INSISTING THAT 'JUST #ASK CODY HE UNDERSTAND' AND CODY BEING ABSULATELY MORTIFIED LIKE 'NO I DO NOT IF HE TRIED ANYTHING ID PUNCH HIM RED COULDN'T STOP ME THIS #TIME I WOUMD SO DO IT DO NOT TEST ME' #yes im in love with cody what about it honestly

[moe-broey]

LIKE THE POTENTIAL PARALLELS BETWEEN ALFONSE AND TRIANDRA DRIVE ME INSANE. Alfonse, Not Even Fucking AWARE of The Situation, but knowing what kind of guy he is, he ABSOLUTELY is thinking behind that strong face "I Should Have Stopped It". Meanwhile. Triandra Did. She did very much Stop It (her father's abuse, which was MUCH more noticeable/readable as abuse than whatever Gustav had going on. By Killing Her Father. Which Alfonse ALSO had to do. Under different circumstances BUT STILL.)

#feh #like. they drive me insane. #espppppp prev discussions about how triandra and alfonse's maturity levels are just completely different #making triandra unable to fucking cope with it. meanwhile alfonse is absolutely burderned heart heavy by it #but like. he's able to square it all away. process it the best he can. which is more than triandra is able to. #triandra can't process it at all. #like aaaaaaughhhhgghhghghhhh...... #I'M ALSO THINKING ABOUT. how alfonse just wasn't present in the dream realm at all. #and how triandra was. and how the ages most likely align somewhat closely. and what that says about each of them. #how triandra was still able to hold onto some youth. able to dream. how alfonse was never afforded it. #and i guarantee 90% of it was self-imposed. yes to please his parents. ESP gustav. #but like that is just the type of little man alfonse was i bet you anything. he was always a tiny grown up. #until he grew up. and he's still like that. #like what if i threw up. and cried. #fe alfonse #fe triandra

[random0lover]

I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”

(Rant in tags)

#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me?? #when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah #but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way #he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod #qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right #after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like #my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit #I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we #get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that #stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my #brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a #reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period #is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet #it goes 🙃 #random0lover emotional dumps #random0lover rambling ♡

[vcrnons]

Some favs of mine 🫶🏼

feeling feelings. thank you for this attempt on my life, i’m calling in sick the rest of this week and it’s your fault <3

#💌 - mailbox. #nonniesnovio #HOW COULD YOU #SO MANY OF THESE ARE MY FAVOURITE VERNONS TOO 😭 #let’s break this down because i? am having a breakdown over it. #aka how quickly can j embarrass herself all the way to 0 followers lmao<3 #starting with racer fit vern was an actual act of violence. the vein on his shoulder and those eyes GOODNIGHT TO ME ????? #im a basic british girlie ok. if u put a pretty man in an overshirt and a backwards hat i WILL start screaming. #it’s a reflex action I don’t know why but my neighbours dogs are going feral because i am reaching impossible frequencies rn #THE JEEEEEEEEEANS #this vern was an instant wallpaper u don’t understand no one understands what this picture means to me #if ur new around here. i am a nonnie thigh enthusiast. and for that reason i will be passing away #dark hair follow tour vernon does things to me. kenzo vernon with a fuckin EARRING? he DOES THINGS to me. im not okay. #the last one specifically you don’t understand what happened to me the day that dropped okay #I speed ran every stage of grief and almost threw myself headfirst into the shallow end of a swimming pool #the soft hair / checked tie / DAD TRAINERS !!!!!!!!!! THE DAD!!!!!!! TRAINERS!!!!!!!!!! #anyway to sum up i have some normal feelings about vernon yeah. im all good 🩵 #thank you for your invaluable contribution 🩵

[fillia]

When the mere mention of poppies, pufferish, cornflowers and blue orchids, bridges, canary in a coal mine, venus flytrap, cod and salmon, goblins and gold, flames and goats, toys and gods, and all the like remind you of him and his disastrous relationship issues

#jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #i swear this man makes me feral #exes and husbands galore #we had the chance of a healthy relationship and this season immediately threw it away #if you get all of the references i love you

[monkee-mobile]

(apologies anyone who sees this for lamenting into the void again)

Keep Off My Grass got taken off of the internet archive and this is officially my destructive arc because that movie is preserved NOWHERE

no dvd release

no NOTHING

is it just me alone with my screen recordings of Twila my beloved and a few youtube videos?

#micky dolenz #keep off my grass #weird movie man #but it’s important to me #not as weird as night of the strangler ft. barley any night and no strangling? #i will never call micky ‘Vance’ who the fuck is ‘Vance’? #but keep off my grass is silly and i miss it! #You Know is my baby boy! #i check back after like ten months and it’s just gone and i’m very sad about that #preserving media is so important to me #i think it all started because of the lost doctor who episodes that they just threw away because the sixties sucked at preserverving things #‘it aired now we don’t need it anymore!’ #this shit continued into well into the 80s and we can kind of thank mike nesmith for helping fix it #unfortunately almost all of my favorite silly little things are from the 60s and 70s and so many things are just lost to time #but because I grew up with all that stuff is probably why i care about preserving it so much #i can’t handle change and things going away #all of my monkees related stuff seems to be getting purged from the internet #damn #i’m sorry i’ll shut up #gimme a break and let me have my comfort little guys

[david-watts]

I feel guilty for harbouring these feelings because it's been at minimum five years but man. all of the shit I got for never taking opportunities in hs/college when I never could take the opportunities and when I had them they would be yanked away from me the second I tried to grasp them. is it any wonder I've done nothing since leaving? the closest to following anything I want to do with my life was last year. everyone else seemed to get the opportunities they needed or wanted but not me. I think it was separate from the eventual treatment I got when the school realised I was dangerous to them but fuck man it still hurts that when I got accidentally placed into a class that I discovered I wanted to do five minutes in the teacher realised what had happened and said 'you're not suited to this type of class I'll move you into something you're more suited to' but someone else who also wasn't suited to that class got to do it anyway a year or two before. I wasn't allowed to move away for uni to do a course I wanted to do (which was at the time a backup plan) because not only did my m*ther keep telling me I wasn't good enough to do but. she had to be able to move in with me and that wasn't an option. and I still get told 'well maybe you should've done more in hs' like fucking what

#sorry I think the stuff happening nearby which I think even was at said school triggered me #plus I. I actually really hurt because of how much I threw up yesterday. #but man. it's been four years. I was supposed to have it all sorted out by now #and now it's just. I'm waiting for the times when it's safe. it's so rarely safe now. #safe for what you might ask? literally anything. cooking. throwing away rubbish. watching fucking television. cleaning my room. #at this point I might as well off myself because I'm never going to be able to do what I want to. what I'm fairly certain I'm supposed to d #I predicted this would happen. I knew this would fucking happen

[lazer-screwdriver]

I dunno. The difference in behavior between Election Day and a year later + the spiral that must have happened in between them is really interesting to me

#I think it makes sense that Lucy’s dead eyes in the latter have to do with the realization that she threw it all away #for a man that doesn’t actually exist #as much as it does seeing the end of the universe #(or that having that kind of weight on you is what drives someone to be broken by that sight the way she is) #simm!master #Lucy saxon #zap.txt

[skrunksthatwunk]

not rascal's deadbeat owner coming around when im not home and telling my roommate she's taking him for a week (our break is 4 weeks or so, implying he's gonna be back here even though That's Her Cat Not Ours) and then just picking up the new toys i bought for him and taking them with her without even asking. hey. hi. those are mine

#like yes i want rascal to use them so he can be happy and fulfilled but also i dont fucking trust you #she didnt even ask. i wasnt even AROUND and she just yoinked them #she also took the new litter box my roomie got for him bc the old one was so caked in shit that 20 mins in a powerful sink didnt even #change it. like bedrock-hard cat shit. who fucking knows how old that was bc they never clean or empty it. fucks sake #and obv he needs a litter box and my roomie threw the old one away bc again it was Unsalvageably And Hazardously Filthy #like we could get sick he could get sick. get a grip #but like i dont wanna be feeding her replacements for her stuff she doesn't take care of over and over #just burning money trying to make rascal's life a Little better bc again our control over his situation is limited bc hes literally her cat #it's so frustrating. like i waited a full month to get him new toys bc i didn't know how long this situation was gonna last and i dont have #cats and cant have them for a while (not that this is stopping me oops) so it's not like the toys'll be used w me #like if she decided to up and drop him at a shelter like she'd planned less than a couple months ago I'd be sittjng in a pile of cat stuff #but he needs more stuff yknow. theyre not providing for him and i have the means to atm. and just when i bite the bullet and surprise him #with a bunch of new things he was SO excited about she swoops in without warning and takes him #god. my roommate told me he just froze up when his owner came in..and he looked so pissed about it #having to go back and leave us and leave all his fun new stuff to go back to the room where they cant even bother to feed him regularly #much less play with him or take care of him #it's heartbreaking. it's such a delicate situation im trying to move carefully so we don't lose him completely but it's so frustrating going #slow. ughhghhgh AND THEYRE ALWAYS LIKE man he's so much nicer to y'all. MAYBE IT'S BC WE TREAT HIM WELL. CRAZY THOUGHT I KNOW #fucking. i love that little man this sucks for him so bad. trying to get him back for a couple days while im here but no response yet #and my roommate's staying on campus over break so she's gonna show up as soon as that week's over like I'm Here For Rascal. Your Time Is Up. #rauguhhhhh sorry if these rascal vent posts are a downer guys. it's just. god dude. fucking hell #i know this is a stupid situation i have gotten myself into i know it's stupid to try and finagle someone's pet from them BUT SHES ABUSIVE #AND SUPER LIKE. INDIFFERENT?? AND APATHETIC ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT THE PPL SHE DUMPS HIM ON CARE FOR HIM WELL OR NOT. AGH #sighhhh. whatever. gotta focus on tmr's exam and then i can complain about rascal some more. #i get she prolly thinks it's a team effort but the only reason we take her stuff is bc we didn't have a cat and werent planning on it #ggggghhzgzzjzjkkzkzkkzkk. grinding my teeth

[apollotronica]

#☆ apollo singing #☆ personal #im gonna kms #Cool Qhatever #my mom threw away a bunch of my drawings and doodles from 8th grade #and when i was like aw man i needed those she was like #you have plenty of Pictures in your Journals or whatever #like #urgh #i cant just Redraw all of what i had i kept it all for a reason #that shit meant a lot to me . all of my art means a lot to me #it doesnt matter if it was Good or whatever #im pissed

[orcelito]

Someone the other day asked for our bubble tea "vegan option" and I was just like "? ...it's made with a soy-based creamer by default?" But he was like "No, the honey. I don't want honey." And I was just like. "......Ok."

Dude came in again today and he stank soooooo bad I literally nearly gagged. Bro apparently runs like a mile or some shit to get bubble tea as part of his exercise routine. & it's just like. OK Bro

#speculation nation #the honey thing threw me off bc im so divorced from anything vegan that i just did Not register it #like bro just say you dont want honey 😭 it's not that hard 😭 #dont gotta push ur damn vegan thoughts on me. im gonna slurp that honey as much as i fuckin want #and while im at it eat many eggs and drink cows milk and eat cheese and MEAT oh god forbid #i mean like vegetarian i think is more reasonable bc by an empathy standpoint it can fuck with ppl to eat meat #and also for religious purposes and such. & dietary restrictions for dairy and whatever is perfectly understandable #but if ur refraining from all animal products bc of like. Morality re: animal cruelty like. bro. Bro. #unless you grow all your food yourself much of your 'vegan' options are much more awful with how theyre sourced #except cruelty to humans doesnt matter as much as cruelty to animals to you. like. Ok bro. #sure whatever save the bees. quick question what do you do if there are gnats in your house? #do you gently usher them away? pick them up with a cute little paper towel to get them out? it doesnt work like that. #even if honey industry killed bees (which it doesnt) do you still think that's more important than preventing child labor? #i agree we shouldnt kill bugs willy-nilly but Man. sometimes you just gotta kill some bugs. the fuck? #bugs ment/

[murobrown]

.

#new ability unlocked....✨health anxiety✨ #I'm tired man I'm so fucking tired of panicking all the time because I feel like I'm going to pass out ot throw up #or constantly googling health symptoms what makes me feel thousands times worse and definitely doesn't calm me down #one day I'm sure I'm getting a heart attack on next day I have a brain tumor then epilepsy then I go for aneurysm... #fucking funniest thing is that it's been going on for two months and absolutely nothing happened to me #i just have constant headache nausea and pain in my stomach but I haven't passed out or threw up or anything #fuck I just want back my normal life when I'm not in constant worry #i feel like im 24/7 in a high alert panic mode so I can't comprehend anything calmly... #i feel like an animal that's constantly just running away from something #I'm scared too see a doctor because I don't even know how to explain my problems...they will think I'm completely insane... #I can't remember last time I ate something without feeling anxious and being in pain afterwards #and the worst thing is that I developed even ubhealier relationship with food by counting calories :)))) #so even though I eat nothing I need to push myself into an intense workout because my brain tells me I need to burn everything #i didn't know ai could be even more messed up than I was before #but hey I lost a ton of weight and I am in the best shape I've ever been... it's all I ever wanted and it cost me only my sanity :))))) #i don't even have clothes to fit in anymore because everything literally falls down from me... #currently I'm convinced I'm going to pass out and die any second but I know I'll be alright I can't just die out of nowhere... #I'm healthy and everything will be okay...I survived so much and it will get only better #if you read this rant I typed out while hyperventilating congratulations you get a free cookie and a warm tea I'll be making #guys but seriously...do you know how to tackle this? or the only logical way is to see a doctor? #because I don't know how long can I go on like this considering from September my job should get even more stressful... #now my stress level is high like never before... just thinking about September is giving me a panic attack #aaaaand those are the things I shouldn't think about because the only thing stressing me out the most is my fucking self :) #that's the damn problem like the thing that's making me most stressed is the stress 🙃 #I feel nauseous because I'm stressed and I'm stressed because I'm nauseous...makes sense #i think I'm loosing my mind...and it fucking sucks that I do this to myself for no reason at all #i have a nice relaxing day and then in the evening I decide to think about all the bad stuff and kill it all #another scary thing is living on your own without any close friends in your life and with your family hours away...it won't let me sleep #if anything happens I'm alone...if I pass out right now I need to take care about myself #i often think how long would it take to find my dead body here...and then I shake and cry because I don't want to die

[keeps-ache]

[stares at you but it actually looking behind you] do you think moths would like to drive cars

#just me hi #they HAVE the lights #they have the Power !!! #eh but i think they would be terrible drivers hvfbsh #not that they wouldn't put any spirit into it - with the way they flit around they'd definitely get a kick out of driving (terribly) #but they'd get too flitty w/ it or at night get too distracted by other cars or their own car's lights. and then- GASP! tragedy.. #or not. probably not hfhhsbc :) #i think snakes would Love to drive #i can't explain why. but they would be overjoyed #like rats !! #/rodents are scary but very darling in their own little way and i love them for that lol :D #when we lived in detroit we had a mouse problem that came and went every odd amount of years #and one year i had the small bedroom to myself (very sick) and 2018 was kind of hectic so nobody noticed when i'd stay up til like 4 a.m. o #the ~+~net~+~ (pinterest + google music (rip google music i miss you so bad lmao <///3) (internet was very small to me)) #but after some nights of that (i'd sit in a comfortable chair and curl my legs under me n just be like that for hours) there was. a Visitor #oh lords!! not a Visitor!!!.. it was a little mouse. small guy. tiny man #but he was Scary to me so i threw some things in front of him and he got spooked and ran away #well. eventually that stopped working lmao. so he came All the way out and walked around my chair. then went back to his little house #(wherever that was) and the same thing was repeated for every night after that #eventually i got used to it and just never put my feet on the floor. we did not bother each other and i named him Steven #one night i tossed him an apple core because if he's gonna be doing this and i'm not gonna be doing anything i might as well feed him. #my mouse now. well. not really cuz after that he Never showed up again ???? #steven what the heck???? for real?????? anyway. that is the story of steven lol #i hope his little mouse friends in the attic had a good christmas :)

[actually-eldritch]

we want to resume our studying so. so so badly but the eating has to not just be good but consistent over a long period of time and i wish to scream. my brain is full of paywalls nobody warned me could happen. nobody warned me I could become too poor to think at all on a physical level because whilst my faMILY was abusive as shit growing up the conditions were still of a higher class so i developed a brain that had high demands and then started fueling it with not just poor but povertty resources . like im at high risk of being homeless in the next 6 months and i have a brain that puts me in saw traps and basically says "if you don't eat at an average of least 5 meals a day, approximately 3 hours apart, and keep this up for weeks at a time, you will not be awarded access to any of your incomplete but grandiose thought constructs, good fucking luck having a single useful thought because it's not built for your resources"

Nobody fucking warned me about how painful the class drop was. I suppose a lot of that was because they were completely inconsiderate about what the experience of children in higher classes might be. They'll remember that their daddy's are heartless monsters peddaling slavery, and then for some reasojn think that they'll give their riches to their kid no questions asked. What do you think happens when the money loving man has a child with undesireable identities and interests? they torture them and wipe them off the face of the fucking planet. you don't know about it because they don't fucking want you to know about it. have some godamned nuance.

#the amount of times i was denied help because i 'had it' but i was living as someone with less than 100$ a month to live off of except i #would also have shit like a new nintendo switch and people thought any indicator that i had anything no matter how unrelated to my needs #was indicative of the rest. but if there's one thing to know about the wannabe-rich middle classman it's that his money allocation is #complete dogshit and it's everybody's fault but his own that he's poor #and please ignore his starving family in favour of all the expensive artifacts and rugs and cars he's going to show you #because this man knows what's up clearlyu. that's why my sister got fully paid off college for being a good quiet cishet while i was thrown #to the dogs and barely graduated high school and it was treated like an unrelated surprise #anyway. #if he would actually believe whoever said it #i'm sure he'd be pissed to know the son he threw away wanted to be a neurosurgeon #and i revel in that. even though he'll never know. because they let me get too fucked up for that dream by middle school #too many concussions to too much hand tremors. what's the point. im to become something different. #so i am but my hearts still missing pieces i'd like to come closer to anyway. depsite all the paywalls #inside and outside of my mind