#and we like knew it was shitty to assume a man was gay just bc he behaves in a way that's not traditionally masculine???????????

[telumendils]

ppl will really say shit like "astarion can't be attracted to women just look at the way he behaves" with their whole chest like they're not blatantly stereotyping gay men and erasing vast swathes of bisexual and pansexual men when they do that.

#remember when gay men were always feminine in media and we were rightfully annoyed by it???? #bc gay men are not a monolith and being a gay man does not inherently mean one must adhere to certain affectations???? #and we like knew it was shitty to assume a man was gay just bc he behaves in a way that's not traditionally masculine??????????? #bring that energy back #bee.txt #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion ancunin #astarion #astarion bg3 #i love him for who he is aka a pansexual king #good DAY sir

[antiloreolympus]

7 Anti LO Asks

1. How long is the time line in LO? Hades says Apollo’s been harassing Persphone for months, but hasn’t it only be like 2 months max? 

From OP: Hades is overexaggerating. At most, it’s been a month and a couple days.

2. Idk how LO can even TRY to claim being progressive. Persphone is the “born sexy yesterday trope” with the audience being told she’s a high achiever yet lacks a lot in that department.

Is it cause Hades had a chance to be shitty and gross and then didn’t completely be shitty and gross for not harming Persphone when he found her in his car? He knew Artemis was her friend why didn’t he call her to let her know she has her friend? (There was a whole plan to distract Artemis so he could talk to her if I remember right). Hades is still a shitty make lead character (in progressive/character way) we have slave labor, firing employees for small things, getting involved with Minthe his PA/ EX GF and then wanted to TRANSFER HER so he could basically have Persphone replace her. Was the story suppose to be progressive because we got to see a male victim POV? Because the Minthe/Hades dynamic is written so weirdly. Hades has control over her rent/job/utilities, but she has smacked him and says a lot of insults. Minthe shouldn’t abuse but I don’t really have sympathy for Hades. Are we suppose to feel bad for Hades because of Kornos? The story is written in such a way that I lowkey forget about it. Idk sure we get to see Hades be a “good guy” but the way a lot of characters are around him I don’t believe he’s truly a “good guy”

Hera was never much of a feminist icon, but idk if RS is trying to rebrand that or not. Sure she helps Persphone greatly BUT that’s really who she’s willing to help. She finds Minthe to be “nymph trash” and Artemis was something unpleasant, and when she first met echo she didn’t like her right off the bat until she made her tea. She’s basically that meme where it’s like “diversity wins that mean old lady might cheat on her husband with a young lady”. Hera X Echo the next HXP boss/employee couple 🤪

Pysche kinda had a cool plot, and I wish we saw more of the human’s perspective of Olympus hanging out with Aphrodite, BUT WE DONT, and Pysche who hardly knows Persphone is ready to out her assault to Artemis but ends up outing her to Daphne and I assume has her to face ANY consequences for that. Also her character and purely defined by Eros.

There’s more but I feel like I’m going too much on it. 

3. oommmmg even the anatomy got worse??? why are the backs of their heads even smaller now??? you know thats where their brains go right?? rachel where are their brains?? is that why they act so stupidly now??

4. I still can't get over how absolutely disrespectful the ace characters “slowly turning gay over time is.” Like yeah, orientation can change over time but the way asexuality is presented as a phase is disgusting.

Only LO characters turning gay are Minthe and Persephone when I enter my little queer time machine.

5. you know, ive read a fair few long running webtoons and all of them have style changes, but it's always for the better because the artists are refining their senses of anatomy, to push poses, to become more confident in their work. LO is only one i've seen where it's actually gotten worse, with that Hades example being a prime example. Even beyond the worse character design, look at the previous use of interesting colors and light! those are all tone now for blank voids and flat neon colors!

(previous anon asking about the art getting worse) also note that early Hades actually looked reasonable aged? he looks to be maybe at most mid-30s, but he looks regal and attractive with normal but unique proportions (also pretty hair! i miss it!), while current Hades looks like an old man with a ridiculous nose, greased down hair, and looks at least 40 years older than Persephone. OG Hades looked like he made sense with her, while current Hades looks like he needs a visit from Chris Hansen.

6. you know, i still thinks hes a creep but early lo hades at least looked attractive enough to justify persephone getting horny over him (esp bc she didnt know who he really is), but now? nah man, he somehow went into negative sex appeal with an even worse personality. idk how thats even possible to make your romantic lead somehow less appealing, but here we are.

7. i honestly wonder if the art team are playing a joke on rachel but how increasingly stupid they draw hades' nose. it doesnt even look like an styled hook or aquiline nose like it was in the beginning, it just looks like a clown prop. even stylized versions of the joker dont do that. its honestly distracting over looking unique or handsome (which i personally find big and/or hooked noses to look). idk why they had him look half way decent in the start only to make him up looking like /that/ now.

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

[thebad---catholic]

My problems with AOS

Well here I am, 10 years late with an opinion no one asked for, but I have to write this down and throw into the void so that I can be at peace. I’ve been salty about this film franchise for a very long time now. This will mostly focus on Star Trek (2009) with the other two movies sprinkled in.

1. Starfleet

Honestly where do I even begin? In TOS, Starfleet was modeled after the navy (idk how accurately, but Roddenberry was in the air force so I’m assuming he’d know how all that works). You can get a feel for the chain of command, and everything feels natural with character ages and things like that. There’s a procedure for everything.

AOS Starfleet feels more like a high school club than an interplanetary exploration organization. Jim is supposed to be twenty-five when he gets the rank of captain- after he was almost expelled for cheating. He has no idea how to operate or run a starship. TOS Kirk moved through the ranks of Starfleet and was promoted on merit and leadership skills- he worked for his position.

Why was Jim the only person who knew what was happening when Nero showed up? Was there any requirements to joining to Starfleet other than get on the shuttle? Why did the linguist not know the difference between Vulcan and Romulan when they’re the linguist? How did Pike bypass the chain of command to appoint Jim Kirk as First Officer which was an obvious show of favoritism to someone was about to be thrown out of the academy? Why the fuck was he allowed to keep the title of captain? What the fuck?

Speaking of Jim.

2. Jim Kirk’s Character

I...don’t like Jim’s character in this film. It’s not terrible for a younger version of Kirk, but like I said though, there’s no reason Kirk should be this young. And in this one he’s just kinda a douche.

We know from TOS that Kirk gets around, but he genuinely cares for his exes, and in general respects women. He uses sex appeal as a strategy, but more than anything this comes off as a subversion of the femme fatal trope bc Kirk is a man. In the movie, he’s just a standard action movie protag who has lots of sex just because.

The scene when the Orion woman says she loves him and he replied “that’s so weird” is just...so weird? Like I can’t imagine Kirk doing anything in that situation than backing off and explaining that he doesn’t feel the same way. The scene continues with him hiding under the bed when Uhura walks in. Watching how the camera angle makes Jim out to be a voyeur made me uncomfortable then and it still does. It could be explained that Jim is trying to figure out Uhura’s identity or that he’s listening in and people look at who they’re listening to but like...she was in her underwear. You shouldn’t look at people while they’re getting undressed, especially when they don’t even know you’re there? Is that a hot take? Apparently.

In TOS there’s this really nice scene in This Side of Paradise(S1E24) where the whole crew is high (again) and has abandoned ship, leaving Kirk to tend to things. We see Jim move around the ship with a little clip pad and make the proper checks. This is a captain who knows his stuff. That is the Kirk we should have seen if we’re going to see Jim become captain.

AOS kirk goes through a standard “stop being an asshole” arc commonplace for male protagonists, but this happens well past the point he should stop being an asshole. Either the AOS series should’ve been a prequel with Jim becoming captain at the end of the trilogy, or he should’ve been older with a completely different arc- maybe coming to terms with his rank? Imposter syndrome? Learning to trust his crew and building trust with them? Building a friendship with Spock and McCoy? There’s a lot to work with here.

3. Spock and Uhura’s relationship

Why. Like why. For what. Por Que.

I like giving Uhura a bigger role, I don’t like making her a love interest to do that.

It doesn’t make sense for either of their characters. Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, linguist expert who handles all transmissions to and from the enterprise- an icon of black women’s representation is now demoted to Spock’s nagging girlfriend. This bothers me more than a little bit.

It manages to make even less sense for Spock. A hallmark of Spock’s character is his duality. He struggles to combat his emotions and the human half of him. His repeating character arc in TOS is coming to terms with humanity while upholding the Vulcan way of life. Having him in an established romantic relationship before this arc is supposed to happen just makes for a boring romantic subplot about a relationship that shouldn’t happen and that I don’t care about.

TOS Vulcan culture is kinda shitty. Explicitly patriarchal and stuff, and also kinda racist against humans. The source of Spock’s inner conflict is not himself but a society that views him as lesser for being half human. However, one thing that I can certainly understand from a “logical” (logic in quotations bc racism and sexism is fucking stupid) people is ritualized arranged marriages. It just...makes sense to me that Vulcans would simply have their mates chosen for them and then marry that person and be done with it. Neat. Logical. Conformity.

This makes Spock and Uhura’s relationship even stranger. Why would Spock go so against conformity that he dates someone before he truly comes to terms with himself? Even if they throw out ponfarr and arranged marriage, it still doesn’t work but now it especially doesn’t work.

My personal theory is that Spock and Uhura’s relationship was established purely to make shippers shut up. It’s no secret Spirk is the most popular ship from TOS. I have no doubt they knew this while writing the movie. So to quietly wrap a no homo on Spock and Kirk’s friendship, they use Uhura as a prop to do so.

The teacher/student dynamic should only be relegated to fan fiction and the throwaway line about oral sensitivity makes me cringe. Every. Time.

4. McCoy

Karl Urbans performance is easily my favorite part of this movie. He captures DeForrest Kelley so well it hurts. He made Leonard Nimoy cry. His chemistry with Pine made McKirk go from the most underrated triumvirate ship in TOS to rival Spirks popularity in AOS. His scenes with Zachary Quinto are just *chefs kiss*.

So why doesn’t he have more of a role? The triumvirate is missing a third.

In particular, there’s a scene where Uhura, Kirk, and Spock make their way down to a planet to talk to a Klingon. I can’t remember which movie it was or why, but Spock and Uhura were bickering and Kirk remarks “can we do this later?”

The line was funny. It would’ve been golden if it was McCoy and not Uhura.

A fantastic performance by an underutilized character in a movie where that character should’ve been at the forefront.

5. Representation

I am skeptical of any movie that advertises diversity. Nonetheless, it made me happy to know Sulu was going to be gay. This is Star Trek after all, known for its diversity and large LGBT fan base, and an homage to George Takai who’s a gay man irl. So whatever.

The fact that I wasn’t expecting much says a lot about the current state of LGBT rep in media but this blink-and-you-miss-it shit is really starting to get to me.

I mean he jus- he doesn’t even give his husband a KISS. Like why.

6. Destroying Vulcan

WHY. Oh god why.

This isn’t Star Wars, JJ. We don’t do that here.

Imploding Vulcan was the most god awful shock value bullshit plot device I’ve ever seen in a movie and it was done entirely to make Spock sad. Besides the gaping plot hole of “why did Nero go back in time to destroy Vulcan when he could’ve just saved Romulus” I’m just grasping to find a purpose for this particular event. New fans don’t care at all about Vulcan while I was enraged that they would do Amanda that dirty.

It’s not just that they did that, it’s more that they did it like that. Vulcan’s destruction should’ve caused a federation wide meltdown as the biggest catastrophe in the entire franchise. If they were gonna make the stakes so pointlessly high, they should’ve treated the destruction of Vulcan exactly how they would treat the destruction of earth. There a million ways to treat that event with more gravity and million better plot lines that don’t involve G E N O C I D E

7. Miscellaneous petty bullshit because I’m a baby

-lower the fucking stakes Jesus Christ

-Don’t like the set. It’s bright and white and boring and gives me a headache. You don’t need a remake of the old set but like have fun ya know? Shit looks like an Apple store.

-Christine and I are the same in that we are both soft and are thirsty for Spock. Imagine my surprise to learn she wasn’t fucking there. Same with Janice but I’m more pressed about Christine. I don’t even remember the name of that blonde doctor lady who is Not Christine but i didn’t want her.

-The costumes in AOS look boring but still don’t feel like a uniform either. I deadass think Chris Pines outfit in the SNL skit looked better than the actual movie (minor adjustments needed)

-I didn’t notice this at first but someone pointed out that women’s uniforms don’t signify rank and now I can’t not see it. I don’t...think this movie treats women good? Or McCoy? Or just people who deserve better?

-Lens Flare

-I get why they did it but I don’t like that they misquoted the opening theme to say “no one” instead of “no man”. I probably wouldn’t have even notice except they gave the line to Uhura. Comes off as just a touch too “yay feminism” which is really rich coming from that treated Uhura like an object to be looked at when she wasn’t too busy being Spock’s emotional support gf, and completely cut two women from the main cast.

8. Conclusions

If I could describe these movies in one word it’d be generic. Which sucks because Star Trek far from generic.

They’re fun to watch but not think about. It was nice that I got to see a Star Trek movie in theaters. I just wish it as the same Trek I saw on TV.

#star trek the original series #star trek tos #star trek aos #star trek alternate original series #jj abrams #jim kirk #captain kirk #dr mccoy #bones mccoy #spock #mr spock #lt uhura #nyota uhura #hikaru sulu #star trek #star trek headcanon #trekkie #trekker #star trekkin

[jackals-ships]

Power kiss at a party for Space Pirates <3< owo?

THIS TOOK SO SO LONG BC I KEPT HAVING TO PAUSE AND COVER MY DUMB GAY FACE (also i went with power as like....Show Of Power n hopefully this captured it jfkfkd)

Content: 2,602 words. 3rd person pov of dog an dual pitch flirting, i continue with the HC of duals name being cronus. a v brief argument between the two before they make up and a brief scene of alcohol consumption

also tags @ the end so if y'all want to be tagged lmk ! i. may have lost my list. again

You were reasonably sure this was not how the evening was supposed to go. Oh it had started simply enough, well technically...it had started several weeks ago you supposed.

--

The door to your room was unceremoniously thrown open by one Orphaner Dualscar who quickly followed up the action by flinging himself into your bed. You didn't even bother looking up from the datapad, just placed your hand between his horns as he wormed his way closer, his head ending up flopped into your lap. "mmmmmfhjb."

"Hm?" You flicked at the base of his left horn, earning you an annoyed squint before a heavy sigh.

"Meenah called." Routine enough, she was the empress and his matesprit. "There's a party in about a perigee." Oh a party sounded ni- "'s a bunch of stuck up assholes all vwying to suck her bulge to get up in the vworld." Aaand there it was.

"So you're gonna be gone for a bit then I assume? I'll make sure the ship doesn't burn down-"

"You're coming vwith me."

"......excuse me."

You always forgot how fast the stupid old rat could move, until he was straddling your hips with his face so terribly close to yours and mouth curled in a wicked snarl. If you were anyone else you would have simply died from fright. As it was you were focused on the fact you could just….close the gap between your lips so easily. "If I havwe to deal with these stupid fucking prissy lil vwrigglers you're suffering through it vwith me."

There was a pregnant pause as he growled low in his chest. You broke it by flicking his nose, watching him jerk back and wrinkle it. "Fine. You'll have to teach me to dance however. Kurloz taught me dances but they're….hm. Not suitable for the type of party I imagine we'll be attending."

(you did end up closing the gap for a kiss after, grumbling at him to watch his stupid fuckin teeth when he bit at you)

---

Once you had arrived at the party you already wanted to leave. Or call Kurloz to lighten the atmosphere. Void you had thought he was exaggerating but no.

They were all fawning over Meenah like their lives literally depended on it. (...you chose not to think about the fact that. may actually be the case. the less you think about troll politics the better.)

You shoved that thought away as you downed the champagne (?) they gave you and- oh void why did it burn. Why were seadwellers like this?? You had thought Dualscar drinking gasoline was a him thing but apparently fucking not.

Speak of the devil, his hand ended up on your back rubbing circles while you coughed. "Sorry, should havwe vwarned ya. 'S pretty strong."

"Yeah no fucking shit. Is that why there's so few of you assholes, you all kill yourself on this." His hand tensed, claws sinking briefly into your back where they had been careful just a moment before, and you realized your mouth ran off without you again. "Shit. Shit. Sorry, just…" You gestured a little as he slowly relaxed again.

"Tsh. Ya I get it. This...used tae be my kind of thing. Not reely anymore." He looked almost wistful for a moment before shaking his head. It made the golden chains in his earfins and on his horns clink softly. "Shit I used tae evwen get all kinds of fancy like the rest of these idiots."

…….you made a mental note to badger Meenah for photographic evidence. Or go snooping. Fuck you couldn't imagine the man more dressed up. As is he was practically drowning in gold, wearing rings he hardly ever pulled out, a choker you had to help him put on and you were terrified of tearing the delicate lacing. And the dress….fuck the dress.

You had of course seen him in them before, when he wasn't on the ship he seemed to prefer them. The ones he kept to however were more..relaxed affairs. Sundresses if the planet you went to was sweltering. Sleek black and purple dresses for out and about. Maybe one with a slit in the leg if he was feeling particularly risque.

It was silver in contrast to both the rest of the ensemble and the pitch of his skin. The bodice was done up in a pattern similar to that intricate lacing but thankfully far more sturdy. The train was cut in a way to not drag over much but more...swish after him, almost like his tail did when he was feeling especially restless. It was also a sleeveless affair as well, showing off the muscle he'd had hundred of sweeps to define and marred by the occasional sweeping scar.

(there is one on his shoulder that you trace sometimes. it was the first time you had fought each other with the intent to hurt. you had meant to just swipe at him but the damned thing slipped and and)

Oh his hand was on your chin instead now, tilting your head up to look at him. He was looking at you with a vague air of concern but you just smiled and shook your head. "M fine. Really. You should go….flirt with Meenah or whatever shit you're supposed to be doing instead of hoverin round me like a lusus." That earned you a half hearted swat at your cheek before he left you to your thinking.

..you absolutely did not stare at his back as he left. Damn seadwellers. Damn them and their stupid dorsal fins that make their stupid dresses backless.

Fuck you wanted this night to be over so badly. But there was still socializing to do and dancing later apparently. From what you were told it would only be the bigger ups and their quadrant-mates. You, being human, were of course banned from the whole affair. Just meant you could watch him move instead….

---

"Okay. Why are we doing this. You told me I wouldn't actually be taking part in the dance so?" You had had your dance clothes tossed at your head before being told to come above deck.

You could have ignored him of course, possibly should have, but then he would have just whimpered at you like a kicked pup.

For his part Cro was topless, dressed in just a pair of loose breeches and not even wearing any shoes, his tail flicking back and forth idly. "You don't havwe ta dance but I do. It's been...avwhile. So I need someone ta practice vwith."

"We've established I don't know how to dance like that."

"Yeah no shit. 'S vwhy I'm gonna teach ya."

"....you intend. To practice your dancing. Via teaching me."

"There a problem vwith that doll?" His brow was quirked and he had a barely repressed smirk. Oh there was definitely something going on. You didn't know what, but something was fishy. And this time it wasn't Amshora. Ampora. Fuck. Stupid seadwellers an their stupid fishy puns.

"... alright. Fine." How terrible could it be after all?

….

Oh right. You were incredibly gay.

Even in your boots you were roughly eye level with his chest and his hand was cool against your lower back. The position was. It felt far far too intimate for something done above deck.

This meant that even though you found the waltz almost comically simple in comparison to some of the dances you had learned you kept tripping over your own feet. Cronus, of course, kept making the situation worse for you by snipping and making snarky comments. (you knew him well enough by this point to know when it was his attempt to hide his own flustered emotions. it didn't make it any less annoying however.)

"Honestly I don't know vwhy you're havwing such a hard time vwith this. It's practically a child's fuckin dance compared to the stupid shit the church taught ya." That finally made your temper flare and shove him onto his ass.

"Have you considered you're just a shitty fucking teacher Captain? Or that you're getting too-" Your teeth practically clicked as you snapped your jaw shut, Cronus looking up at you with a completely neutral expression that made you feel sick.

"...too vwhat Dog. Go on. Fin-ish vwhat you vwere gonna say, it's rude after all to keep your Captain vwaiting."

"No I'm. I'm sorry. That was crossing a line." His hand was cool in yours again as you tugged him back to his feet. "..show me again? Slower this time? Please?" His expression was still distant but he walked you slower through the steps now.

(later you would apologize again, littering him with bites and kisses. and he would laugh, call you a fuckin menace before snapping razor sharp teeth back at you.)

---

Soon enough it came time for the dancing and you thanked the Messiah's for having mercy on you. One more backhanded compliment or thinly veiled threat and you would be deeply considering breaking a chair over someone's skull.

You lounged in a chair as you looked for Ampora. If it was with his quadrant he'd be with The Empress….who was...oh there she was.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Why was she breaking the dance to come towards you-? "Guppy! There you are!" You liked Meenah fine enough sure but that didn't mean she didn't terrify you. "You know quads are supposed to dance together!"

Her hand was even colder than Dual's as she grabbed yours, practically bodily dragging you out of your chair and into a waltz. It was only muscle memory that kept you from stumbling over yourself and landing face first into her chest. "First off, Me- ma'am. Not your quadrant mate! Second off, not a troll!"

She just laughed at you, making you dizzy as she spun you around. "Shore ya ain't mine but you're Amshoras! And whats the point of bein Empress if ya can't break the rules!" She practically threw you then, right into Cronus's waiting arms.

"Vwell hey handsome. Fancy meeting you here." He was grinning you down with that stupid shark grin of his and you. Oh you were going to kill him.

You were sure the way you held his hand must have bordered on painful but he just wiggled his fins as you hissed. "You knew she was gonna do this you. Wait. Wait a minute did you-" That grin just grew wider and oh. oh you wanted to wring his neck. you wanted to bite down on his shoulder until you drew blood, til you added another scar to his collection. "Did you fucking ask her to do this?"

"Me? Ask my matesprit to temporarily alter the rules so I can shovw off my kismesis? Perhaps." He softened as he took in how deeply tense you looked as you followed him through the now familiar steps. "..you okay svweetheart?"

"...don't like this very much. i don't like crowds." The admission of weakness made him let out a lil chirping growl. weakness is to only be shown in the comfort of your quarters but it is. so much and who can you bare yourself to if not your quadrantmate even one who's emotions run deep and pitch as his

"You vwere fine on the ship..?"

"Ships different! Church is different because I know the people there I know-!"

He dipped down for just a moment to press a chaste kiss to your lips. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Shit I shoulda asked first if you vwere okay vwith this. But it's okay, just. Just imagine it's just us okay? I got you Dog. I alvways got you."

Yeah...yeah. Void help you but he always did.

(holding you against him while you sobbed into his shoulder, startled awake by things that you thought you left behind, claws running through your hair and chirring softly at you)

(rough hands on yours as he adjusted your sword for the millionth time, affectionately teasing about how long it's taking you, ain't you humans supposed to learn fast?)

The steps were smoother as you relaxed into his grip, easily able to keep pace despite your rather large height difference. "Why though?"

His fins flicked again, nervously this time, before he answered you. "Folks. They talk, they say stupid shit." True. "Say things aboat ya." Ah. There it was, the crux of the matter. "So I figured..they're just sayin things on account of not having seen ya. They ain't seen the way you move, seen the way the light hits you and you look so deeps damned stunning.."

Oh. Oh noooo. You were flushed, you could feel the heat covering your cheeks and down your collarbones. "Dog. Fuck Dog. You're the most irritating, reckless, absolutely frustrating vwretch I've ever laid eyes on. And you're also the most vwonderful thing in my life. You knowv that right?"

..oh fuck it. "You wanna put on a show then chief?" He gave you a bewildered look before you tugged him closer to you, switching up positions easily to lead the dance instead. He had walked you through both of course at your insistence, despite his tendency to want to lead in damn near everything. (you deeply relished the few times he gave up even a modicum of control)

But it only took him a moment to relax into it, that shark grin returning as you sped up the waltz with him, twirling him around and laughing breathlessly at how the lights caught his dress. (he thought you looked stunning like this? did he ever see himself?)

(...perhaps. perhaps it was not the fact you were human. but the fact that they were simply jealous of not being able to have him.. you would have to file that information away for later.)

When he was teaching you you had insisted on learning to dip him. It's always looked like fun you said, elbowing him in the gills to watch him hiss at you and grumble for show for several long moments before finally, finally giving in.

It had been awkward the first….well. Quite a few times. You dropped him once, stumbled a different time and stepped on his tail, it was a mess. But eventually you figured it out, your bodies slotting together like they were always meant to be that close. like you slotted into the rest of his life.

Now? It was effortless and earned you a whistle from Meenah. With all the others watching you knew you had made your point. We're perfect together, look at us, look at how we move in sync. So you could lift him and take your leave of this awful party or….

You would never get tired of the noises he made when you kissed him first. His chirp was always so surprised before it melted into a purr so deep you could feel it in your bones. it reminded you how ancient he was, that you were kissing someone timeless.

And if you had an air of possessiveness, if your nails dug into his back as you kissed him dizzy and breathless, well. Didn't you deserve it? Just a little?

When you finally broke to breathe he was the most wonderful shade of violet, freckles standing more stark against his skin than normal. He looked lovely.

"...you wanna get out of here?"

"Please."

The last thing you heard was Meenahs laugh as you practically carried your kismesis out of the ballroom. ...maybe you could learn to like these dumb things. If you could keep bothering nobles by kissing your boy.

an now for the tags: @goldenworldsabound @kaidasmooch @loveslick @royalnpc and the one who gave me the prompt an made me Think Gay Thoughts @enderpearlgurl13

#jackals barks #ship: space pirates <3< #okay 2 rb #hgkkflld i wanted to edit bits here n there but i kept like. clicking out so ANYWAYS here u go #this takes place when theyve established their dynamic as <3< <> so theyre a lil more laid back

[todobakudekukiridenkishinsosero]

The car ride that changed everything :)

 BTW THIS IS MY FIRST POV SO PLEASE TELL ME HOW I CAN MAKE IT BETTER!!!! 

(Note this is aged up so the characters in this are 18+ and this is in my pov and if you don’t like it, then don’t read it and I also added a name so if you want me to do one with just y/n then ill do one)

Main Character: Cj 

Age:18

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual (possibly gay)

Another main character: Katsuki Bakugo

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bisexual (if not then gay)

Side characters: Kirishima, Sero, Denki and mina 

                                           .

   it’s the start of summer and the bakusquad wanted to go somewhere so they all decided where they were headed too and they wanted to invite me since im always hang with them. Btw we live together so the bakusquad lives with me until everyone finishes school(college)

*goes to your room*

Mina: hey bestie!!

Cj: ah!- oh hi mina what do you need?

Mina: well….me and the bakusquad are going on a road trip and we want you to join and I think bakugo would like it the most 

*Nudges you a bit*

Cj: eh? m-maybe …..

I’ve always had a crush on bakugo since we met at UA but i haven’t had the courage to tell him i liked him bc every person who tells him gets rejected and im afraid i’ll get rejected too.

Mina: Then it’s settled! We’re leaving this weekend since it’s Tuesday and everyone will have enough time to get ready!!

Cj: okay

Mina leaves my room and i go deep into thought about bakugo and mumbling things, making me flustered and red.

Cj: *mumbling*bakugo is...hot…

Suddenly i hear a knock at my door so i open it and to my surprise its katsuki

Cj: Kat? Oh, do you need anything???

Katsuki: just wondering if you’re going with us on the trip

Cj: oh..yeah I am! *smiles*

Katsuki: oh okay then goodnight 

Cj: Night!

Bakugo POV:

Bakugo goes back to his room and locks his door and lays in his bed and starts thinking about me. Little did i know he liked me too.

Bakugo: Damnit! Why...I want him to be mines and no one else’s..ugh! 

He goes into deep thought about how i could be his and forever <3

                                           The next day(Wednesday)

Kirishima: *yawns* babe? You up 

Denki: mm...5 more mintues kiri 

kirishima:*chuckles* yeah okay * kisses his head*

Kirishima heads to the bathroom and takes a shower and does his hair and comes out and wakes Denki and he does the same thing.

Denki: let’s eat breakfast then wake the others up 

Kirishima: yeah okay 

  Kirishima and Denki have been together since 2nd year at UA so this makes three years of being together, they go downstairs and sees me already up and dressed and eating.

Kirishima & denki: Hey Cj

Cj: oh hey guys *puts his plate in the sink*

Boys: so can you wake bakubro up while we wake the other love birds

Cj: no problem 

i laughed at their comment about Mina and sero being together for 2 years, i knock on his door feeling that it’s locked so i yelled a bit.

Cj: hey bakugo time to get up we have planes with the sqau-

Before i could finish my sentence, bakugo opened the door up

Bakugo: I know dumbass...I was putting on my shoes and other things 

Cj: oh okay then, Kiri and Denki went to go wake the love birds up 

Bakugo: okay ima go eat breakfast now

Cj: okay

Bakugo and the others ate breakfast and they drove in my truck and blasted TikTok music and bakugo vibed with some while the windows are rolled down and everyone smiling and laughing with each other. We all arel going shopping for the road trip this weekend.

Cj: Hey guys ima pull over and get some gas

Others-expect bakugo: okay

Bakugo: I’ll help you with it 

Cj: okay…(Odd he never does that)

After pumping the gas we head to the store and the girls go together and same with the guys. After everyone got what they needed me and bakugo went to the bathroom and came out and we drive back home. 

                                        The next day(Thursday)

Everyone is asleep while i  were the only one up and it was around 12 in the afternoon, so i went and took a shower, did my face routine and did my hair, and put my shoes on.

To my  surprise, after i  went downstairs i see bakugo on the couch watching tv. So i  speak.

Cj: Hey bakugo 

You said with a smile

Bakugo: hey...Cj, where are you going? 

Cj: oh well I was gonna go on a little walk then was gonna go back to the mall and walk around there-

Without missing a single beat bakugo said.

Bakugo: I’m coming with you and you have no say in this got it?

Cj: I- okay then…(is bakugo okay?? He’s being nice to me and it’s kinda cute and sweet)

Me and bakugo go outside and starts walking around the block then get in the car.

Bakugo: Hand me the keys I’m driving

Cj: okay 

I hand him the keys and my phone hooks to the car blasting loudly ^E.T by Katy Perry^ and I  turn the volume down,

Cj: I’m sorry heh I forgot to turn down the music from last night 

Bakugo: Dumbass that’s loud as hell…

 We arrive at the mall and get out and started walking around the mall.

Cj: So….

Bakugo: huh? What dumbass?

Cj: why did you come with me? It’s so..unlike you

Bakugo:(shit...) well you’re always getting lost so I came to make sure that you don’t get lost or do or even buy something stupid

Cj: oh...heh I guess so 

Bakugo: So where are we heading to first?

Cj: Um hot topic…. Then spencers then the food court 

Bakugo: okay then let’s get going dumbass 

You guys go into hot topic and I see this black skirt and red top and gets it and some other clothes, snacks and etc.

Bakugo: That’s all your getting Cj?

Cj: Yes I am bc I wanna go to spencers before the food court

Bakugo: okay then 

I pay and leave to go to spencers. Once I made it we went in.

Cj: oo this looks so cute!

I found some more clothes and looked around more while bakugo followed me around.

Bakugo: Oi dumbass what are you looking for?

Cj: nothing just looking around- (is that a sex toy??)

i go up to it and notices what it reminds me of and i back away slowly and go pay for the clothes. Bakugo looking confused until he looked as well and left with you.

Bakugo: we agree to never speak of this?

Cj: agreed.

We head down to the food court and we found the place we wanted to eat at. we ate burger king.

Cj: hey bakugo?

Bakugo: Hm?

Cj: Thanks for coming out with me! 

I said with a warm smile.

Bakugo: oh no problem 

we leave after eating and head home and we had a squad night.

                              The next day at night(Friday,9 pm)

I were warming up the car and put my bag in the trunk with the rest of the squad’s stuff. Im driving and bakugo sitting on the passager side while kirishima is on the right side, sero in the further back with mina and Denki on the left side in the backseat. I may be wondering where they’re going well i’ll find out once you guys get there.

Cj: everyone ready? Nobody left anything before we pull off?

Everyone nodded and i asked who wanted to play the music from my phone and mina wanted it. So she played (All about that bass-Megan Trainor). Then i stopped and filled up on gas then started hitting the road.

Cj: So...what should we play

Bakugo: The hell you’re talking about dumbass

Kirishima: OH! Do you mean a car ride game?

Denki: aw man I love those 

Mina and Sero:Ikr! They’re always so fun to play epslly when we have a long drive to go!

Cj: Yeah how about I spy with my little eye?

Everyone agreed and even bakugo. i turned down the music so it’s like background music and Denki starts the game.

Denki: I spy something blonde and grumpy

Kiri: Bakubro!

Mina, Sero: Bakugo!

Cj: kats…

Bakugo: damn idiot! Tf why me!?

Denki: Idk you’re the first person I see bro

 Bakugo:tch...fine my turn

You start blushing for no reason at all.

Bakugo: I spy something red 

Denki: Kirishima’s hair 

Kiri: My hair?

Mina: Cj

Sero: Kiri’s hair 

Bakugo: No and Raccoon eyes got it

Cj: hah?! 

Mina: Yes! I knew it! Girls instinct

Boys: ohhhh…

i blush harder and harder meaning my face turning redder than Kirishima’s hair. The boys continue to laugh but get Bakugo’s point bc their the only ones who know his crush on me.

Cj:(why?...why me?)

Bakugo smiles at me and i  turn to the road while letting i window down so i feel something cold against my face. 

Bakugo: Your turn pinky 

Mina: okay! I spy with my little eye something bright!

Cj: oh the sun

Kiri: denki’s hair 

Sero: the sun

Bakugo: (dumb shitty hair) the sun

Denki: My hair 

Mina: Cj got it first! So Denki and Kiri you’re wrong 

Cj: Oh okay then 

We go another few rounds before everyone wanted to listen to music and do their own thing. Three hours passed and it was ^9:08pm^ and everyone had fallen asleep and i see this resting place so you pull over and the only person who wasnt asleep was bakugo to my surprise. So i get out and goes to the bathroom and so does bakugo.

Cj: I’m surprised 

Bakugo: what do you mean extra?

Cj: You’d usually fall asleep around 8 pm so it’s kind of weird ya know

Bakugo: oh well you look tired so I wanted to drive some anyway

Cj: oh okay...that’s fine 

We sit on the hood of the truck and look up at the stars and we talked more than ever and soon enough i fell asleep so Bakugo puts me in the passager seat and got in the car and shuts it off and fell asleep as well.

                                 The next day(7 am)

i woke up to music and bakugo driving so i sit up and notice his jacket on me and i look at him. Admiring him his eyes, his calmness, his body. 

 Bakugo: You’re gonna keep staring or say something dumbass

Cj: oh sorry

Bakugo: For what??

Cj: oh I assume it made you uncomfortable

Bakugo: no not really(should I pull over on this cliff? yeah)

Bakugo pulls over and gets out and opens my door and brings me out and closing the door behind me. giving bakugo a confused look. 

Bakugo: I wanted you to see the sunrise with me…

Cj: oh well it does look lovely doesn’t it?

Bakugo: yeah it does...hey can I ask you something?

Cj: yeah okay? (I wonder whats he’s gonna ask me)

Bakugo: okay...um do you like anyone?

Cj: um...yeah actually wbu do you like someone?

Bakugo: May I ask who it is and yeah I do dumbass

Cj: oh...well its you

Bakugo:oh...OH! wait really?

Cj:yeah...its okay if you dont like me-

Without a heart beat he kissed me, we both have a slight blush look on our face

Cj:w-what?!

Bakugo: i like you too dumbass 

CJ:oh um...what does this means now?

Bakugo lets out a sign and asks

Bakugo:ugh.....cj would you like to be my boyfriend?

I say back with me smiling like crazy, blushing mess

Cj:YES!

#bakugo katsuki #denki kaminari #sero hanta #mina ashido #katsuki bakugo #eijiro kirishima #bnha #my hero academia

[littlemisschameleon]

Mini "Im not really cis anymore and that comes with a bunch of new weird things that I didnt realize before" rant under the cut

Aight so I use she/they pronouns right? Not a single clue what my gender is anymore. I vary between demi girl, nonbinary, genderfluid, gnc woman, and even some days just saying cis female is easier/a force of habit.

And what Im realizing comes with that, is that its a lot harder to be authentically you 24/7 and to everyone you ever meet.

Like, I was playing a game last night, right? And I met this random girl in a game and I thought she was cool, and I wanted to tell her something along the lines of "in the most homosexual of ways, ily youre great" bc I wanted to clarify "hey! Im not a dude! pls find this less creepy!"

I ended up not doing that, because I thought the wording could be taken as a gay man saying it platonically. How could I have fixed that? Clarifying I was a girl. Cept, thats not really 100% true anymore, isn't it?

And this keeps happening! My friends younger sister asked if Alex was a girl or guy the other day, and all I could return with was a shrug. Idk man! Girl is closer, but also not true!

Then comes the conundrum of whether or not I want everyone who ever knows me to know my gender identity, bc in so many ways that can backfire and cause more trouble then its worth, but also I feel like Im lying otherwise.

Its so much easier to be yourself, it feels like, with your sexuality. Like, Im bi, and its so easy to correct people when they call me straight. Also, it rarely happens! I dont feel the need to be out at every turn!! Genders not like that.

Idk I guess I never really understood how draining it can be to question your gender identity. Like, in theory I knew, but reality is so much stranger. Everywhere you turn people are using gender identifiers, and im sure its so much safer and easier for trans ppl to just let strangers assume what they want, but at the same time how shitty is that to be misgendered constantly? And for folks who are questioning their genders, like me, we gotta get reminded of our gender fuckery way too often.

No wonder trans ppl say they feel like a weights been lifted when they come out, this shit sucks. Im sorry if this all comes across as like, ignorant. In theory I knew, ppl get told about this stuff all the time, but its so different once youre experiencing it yourself

#cami talks #gender do be kinda funky tho #i dont think this needs a content warning? but just incase #tldr i can no longer easily answer the whats my gender question and its throwing me for a loop #read and interract if you want! i dont mind

[tfw-no-tennis]

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika?????? 

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic 

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst 

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey 

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now 

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack...  satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest 

KILLUA ;_; 

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD 

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me 

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole 

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_; 

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general 

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently 

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu 

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^( 

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique? 

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse 

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh 

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down 

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents 

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh 

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead 

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion 

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect 

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS: 

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e 

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao 

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao 

as for this upcoming arc -  ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially 

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

#excited 2 see moreeee #lj watches hxh #hxh

[alittledizzy]

Serious Q: re Bert + Ernie. So Frank Oz says that Bert isn't gay (ok frank. whatever). The world: "excuse me Bert + Ernie are gay." BUT my question is, are we wrong for imposing a sexuality on someone who hasn't come out? Like, we took a bunch of gay male stereotypes and assumed Bert was gay bc he has a male roommate. And regardless of what Frank says, should we technically not assume sexualities if Bert hasn't come out? (not even hetro?) He could be ace for all we know.

Bert and Ernie aren’t real. Fictional characters happen at the fingertips of the people who write them. 

If you’re confused on the issue, my strong advice is to read the original article written by the writer. The media’s making a big joke about a lot of this, but at the heart of it a man who spent years of his life writing these characters gave a very touching portrayal of how he wrote Bert and Ernie as reflections of himself and his partner because that’s the only way he knew how to write a loving relationship between two male characters who share a life together the way Bert and Ernie do. 

“I always felt that without a huge agenda, when I was writing Bert & Ernie, they were [gay],” Saltzman said. “So I don’t think I’d know how else to write them, but as a loving couple.”

Saltzman was in a longterm relationship with another man when he joined the show. “That’s what I had in my life, a Bert & Ernie relationship. How could it not permeate?”

source

What a lot of people are (very rightfully) upset over is Sesame Street dismissing this meaningful statement because they’re too eager to avoid controversy. The writer is very clear that he’s talking about what he brought into the writing, and the way he knew how to write two male characters like that. The answer Sesame Street gave about muppets not having sexualities only applies when it comes to Bert and Ernie, and that double standard is all right down to heteronormativity and it’s just shitty that it’s still what kids are being taught to see as the only ‘right’ way. If Oscar the Grouch has a fucking girlfriend, if the Count can have apparently multiple Countesses, if Papa Bear and Mama Bear are presumably married, if you can google ‘couples on Sesame Street’ and over half of them are very clearly muppet couples or families, then Bert and Ernie being gay isn’t off the table of basis of “muppets don’t have sexualities.” 

Anyway, yeah, fictional characters don’t ‘come out’ of their own volition, they’ve gotta be written into it. 

#anon asks #mandy has feelings on muppets #Anonymous

[coffin-flop]

Okay, so I just came out as gay this year @ the age of 22. My journey with sexuality has been very long and complicated. I wanted to type it out and I'm on moblie so I don't have below the cut thing. This will deal with sex and sexuality (and touches on substance abuse and abusive relationships in non-graphic manners). And of course homophobia, internalized homophobia, compulsory heterosexuality, etc. And I want to state that this is not a blanket statement abt ppl who are bi and it is only a very personal account of my journey.

I was in middle school when I came out as bi. I believe it was the summer between 7th and 8th grade. I told a close friend of mine that I liked girls, that I was bi. She said she felt the same way. A huge relief was lifted.

I told my cousin later that summer that I had a crush on the girl I came out to. She was so supportive.

During 8th grade, the girl I came out to and I were secretly dating. We texted flirty things (in a very innocent, 13 year old way) and held hands and went on "dates"

Her mom found out via diary snooping. My mom found out via phone snooping. Both were very unhappy. Her mom was much more outwardly mean.

But my mom sat me down and asked if I knew what this meant. If I was prepared for the loneliness and bullying, for being called/thought of as a "dyke." She also brought up not getting grandkids from me during this conversation.

She also sat in on a session with my therapist (who I was seeing for unrelated mental health issues) who called my sexuality a phase, even after I said it was not.

I stayed out as bi. The girl and I had to stop being friends, but I made other queer friends as I started high school.

My first boyfriend (who was abusive otherwise) mocked my sexuality and told me we would never see same-sex marriage be legalized.

My sophomore year, I joined gsa. Made even more queer friends. I think this is the year I first went to pride. I was very open about being pro LGBT. My mom had to accept me.

But she accepted me in that toxic Catholic mom of a queer kid way. She told me that she could really only see me ending up with a man (while saying she could see another queer girl we knew ending up with a woman).

When I'm a junior in high school, I date a girl who's made of gold. We made out a lot. We only did something sexual once and I received no pleasure, but holy fuck it was the most fun I've ever had in bed.

This girl's mom is not accepting. My mom is much more so, but she still shows herself in quieter ways. Like reminding me how not accepting the other mom is. How hard the lifestyle I'm choosing is.

Things don't work out, because that's life. My senior year, my mental health goes south. I start to party and my substance abuse issue starts. I start blowing and sleeping with guys because I should. Because it's "fun." Because it gets me attention and is way easier (logistically, being a high schooler in the suburbs in the mid 2010s) than banging girls.

And so, sleeping with dudes becomes part of my personality when I go away to college. At this point in my life, I never came during sex. Or foreplay. I'd only came while masturbating. I thought this was normal.

When away at college, I sleep with quite a few dudes and am completely unsatisfied

I sleep with one girl and fuck. That's what sex feels like!!! For years, I chalked it up to girls knowing girls bodies better, not attraction.

I also entered an open & poly relationship my freshman year. It was me, a dude, and a woman. I came a lot during our threesomes. And whenever the dude gave me molly. Just assumed it had to do with being adventurous. It couldn't have to do with attraction, I was attracted to men too because I was bi, I've been out as bi since I was 12.

I came home from college bc of mental breakdown and almost immediately started to sleep with a friend from high school. We started dating. It wasn't until I fell in love with him that I began to come during sex or foreplay. Assumed it had all to do with him learning my body, nothing to do with attraction.

And then, single, at 22, it hit me. Holy fuck I'm gay. I'm a lesbian. I'm not attracted to dudes!

Little twelve year old me was experiencing compulsory heterosexuality (a word I didn't know until I was 18). Little twelve year old me NOTICED an attraction to girls, but thought attraction to boys was just obviously part of the whole deal.

And then, almost immediately, I was told time and time again (by my mom and that shitty ex but also a lot of media I was exposed to) that being gay was hard and scary and lonely. At least, since I was bi, I'd probably end up happy and married to a dude.

And so, I forced myself into this weird, uncomfortable narrative. I had a lot of sex with a lot of men, not because of the sexual or romantic gratification, but because of the other things you can gain from sex. And I thought this was why everybody had sex.

And all throughout my life, I was more attracted to girls. I was pretty open about that. But I didn't even suspect I was gay. Because I'd been out as bi for so long and I sleep with dudes all the time.

Anyway, it's been a weird, long journey. And sometimes I get embarrassed saying I'm gay and then having this past with men. I feel like I'm not gay enough or that it's a phase or that I'm a bad example for both gay & bi people.

But fuck that noise. This is me. I'm gay. I struggled with it for so many years, I finally get to be happy with the fact that I'm a lesbian.

#personal #like very personal #long post

[floralreddie]

Prompt au: reddie meets through richie trying to send bill a stupid meme on tumblr but accidentally sends it to eddie

Here you go, dude! And I totally might do a part 2 to this bc I loved writing it

Richie knows he’s fucking hilarious.

Like, he knows he’s hilarious.

Bill, Bev and Stan don’t see it that way, of course, but they’re fucking idiots because Richie knows he’s a God damn riot. He knows he’s sixteen and, yes, perhaps his humour is just a tad childish sometimes, but he’s got something that’s going to make Bill fucking die.

Because Richie has a new obsession.

And it’s memes.

(And Stan can literally fuck himself, because that fucking Kermit meme he sent him yesterday was hilarious. What does Stan know, anyway? His fucking username on Tumblr is Stan-The-Man and he runs a fucking nature blog, the dork).

(Richie’s is Trashmouth-Tozier69, because what the fuck else would it be?)

So, that evening he’s sitting at his computer and munching away on a tube of Pringles when he comes across a particularly funny meme that has him coughing up his food and kicking his legs onto his table as he drags his keyboard onto his lap.

Bill’s gonna fucking love this one, he thinks.

He clicks off his blog (it’s filled with bands like Led Zepplin and AC/DC and memes, and his Header is a picture of him and Bev at a Pride that was held twenty miles from Derry, because Bev and Richie like to refer to themselves as the Bi Brigade) and clicks on the jokes as fuck meme and presses the @ button to tag Bill in it.

That’s not before he sees that Bev (redhair-don’tcare) has posted a particularly pretty picture of that Mike dude (Richie has never spoken to him, but Bev thinks he’s cool as shit since they were partnered up in Chem a few weeks ago) who hangs around with chubby kid and the little pretty kid. He’s sitting on that graffiti covered brick wall near the Aladdin, and the sun is setting behind him and it’s a pretty lit picture, to be fair.

Richie throws it a like. He’s nice like that.

He types in Bill’s username (D-D-Denbrough), which is an all-together witty name because Bill has a fucking stutter and the dude has just stopped giving a shit and started owning it, of which Richie is just all about.

Then he taps reblog and cackles as loud as he wants, because his mom is passed out downstairs and his dad is probably off banging that woman Sharon that he works with, who Richie has seen him driving around town with more than once.

He glances at his smashed-up iPhone and pushes up his glasses, just waiting for the moment that Bill messages him, because that shit was funny and even Bill can’t deny that.

A minute passes.

The another.

And now Richie is kinda pissed because that meme was fucking funny, and he doesn’t give a fuck if memes are cringe as shit nowadays.

Then suddenly, both his iPhone and computer are making that annoying beeping sound that nearly gives him a heart attack, and he peers at his battered monitor and frowns through his thick lens glasses when he sees he has a message on Tumblr.

Why the fuck would Bill message him through there when he could just fucking text him? The only people who messaged him on there were people who complimented the guitar shit he posted when he could be bothered to record himself.

He blinks in surprise, though, when he sees that the message isn’t from Bill.It’s from someone with an icon depicting them sitting against a very pink sunset in a pastel pink jumper, their dark hair half blowing in the wind and their face hidden.

Their username, Richie finds, is doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s.

And he thinks he recognises this blog, because it pops up on his dash sometimes an it’s mostly reblogs of 80’s pop music that, whilst Richie prefers rock and punk, he can’t help but not-so-guiltily enjoy. He clicks on the message, dark eyebrows shooting up when he reads what the person has said.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: why the fuck did you just tag me one of those weird mr. krabz memes about asking your crush out and them saying yes?

Richie squints, realises what the fuck he’s done, and lets out a bark of laughter. He must have just clicked on the first thing that came up after he typed in D. Damn, and Bill would have found that shit funny…or gotten super pissed off that Richie was once again taking the piss out him and Stan basically being a fucking couple since Bill stuttered out a confession of his feelings to the curly headed boy.

He’s about to type out a short apology when his computer and phone beep again, drowning out the low sound of his Spotify playing Like A Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Wait, what the fuck? You’re Richie Tozier.

Richie blinks and kicks his socked feet onto the floor and bangs out a reply in a few seconds flat.

Trashmouth-Tozier69: do i no you dude?

He waits only a few seconds.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You don’t really seem to pay attention to anything but making a dick out of yourself at school or annoying your friends, so probably not.

Richie laughs in surprise. So, it was someone he went to school with? Not uncommon, really, for those who had public blogs. Richie knew Bill would never admit it, but he was 100% sure the idiot had a fucking Lord of the Rings blog hidden away somewhere.

He hastily clicks on the blog and sees no sign of a name written in the bio, along with a pale pink background and a few dozen links to various music pages and a Spotify account. It’s a pretty blog, Richie has to admit, and the content is cute and funky and it’s definitely ran by a gay dude.

Trashmouth-Tozier69: ah. so u do no me

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: I shouldn’t have said anything. You’ve got the biggest mouth ever and only my friends know I have a fucking blog dedicated to 80’s music. I take it that dumb meme wasn’t supposed to go to me?

Trashmouth-Tozier69: nope. but now i wanna keep talkin. u in my grade?

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Would it literally fucking kill you to type properly?

Trashmouth-Tozier96: ye

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’re hilarious. Truly.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: u don’t need to tell me that

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Since when do you follow me? What the hell are the chances of that?

Richie goes about exploring the blog some more. Maybe he can pinpoint who the hell this kid is. The guys list of people he follows is small, and within a few minutes of scrolling through he finds a blog he recognises. It was the one Bev had tagged in that picture of Mike. smoothcriminal. After only one click, he finds that it is, indeed, Mike.

Hm.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: idk dude. i was probably high listening to weather girls or some shit and found ur blog. plus my friend bev likes that shit too

The dudes reply has Richie snorting into his closed fist.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: …You like the Weather Girls?

Trashmouth-Tozier96: i like a lot of stuff.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: hey do u no mike hanlon?

The pause is longer this time.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Are you stalking my fucking blog to find out who I am? Not cool, dickweed.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: dickweed? nice

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’d know about weedy dicks.

Richie gapes and giggles. He fucking giggles, because this guy is hilarious.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur insults are getting better. i gotta no who u are amigo.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: u no mike

Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur obviously gay or bi or some shit judging from ur blog and the fact u r totally a dude

Trashmouth-Tozier96: shit was that shitty to say

Trashmouth-Tozier96: i totally did not mean to like gender u or whatever

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: No. Whilst I’m not exactly out to the whole school, most people pretty much assume I’m gay (a gay guy, thanks) from looking at me. Which is, yeah, pretty shitty of them.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Now you’re going to fucking know who I am.

And then Richie blinks and grins a smile that stretches his whole face, because he fucking knows who this kid is. He knows the dark hair from the dude’s icon, and the pastel jumper he was wearing. Hell, the kid who he was talking to had been one Richie’s very short list of the guys he would actually hit in Derry.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: holy shit

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Here we go.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: ur eddie kaspbrak

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: There we go.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: i always knew u were cute but wtf since when were u this funny dude

Richie leans back in his chair and smirks, because it’s a full two minutes before Eddie even replies. Suddenly, Richie is so aware of who he is talking to that his stomach twists and his eyes brighten. Eddie Kaspbrak. He had spoken to him only a handful of times. He hung around with Ben and Mike, but Bill insisted that the kid was okay and that they used to hang out a little when they were super young. It was well known in Derry that his mom was a fucking weirdo after his dad died.

Richie had only paid attention to the fact that Eddie was pretty as fuck and always wore oversized jumpers and shorts that showed off his legs, but other than that he was quiet as fuck.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You’re a dick.

Richie grins.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: for sayin ur cute? thats me being nice!

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: I know what you’re like, Tozier. And don’t go spreading that I run a fucking blog that has shit like the Weather Girls and Madonna on it, because Bowers already takes great joy in pointing out what a fucking girly-boy I am.

Richie narrows his gaze at that. Fucking Bowers.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: nothin wrong with being pretty as shit, eds. and fuck bowers. hey, u wanna come and sit with me and my friends tomorrow? we’re all pretty fuckin gay so u will fit right in, amigo

Trashmouth-Tozier96: mike and bev are pretty buddy lately so it won’t be awkward

He blinks in surprise at his own words. Why the fuck is he so desperate to have the quiet Eddie Kaspbrak sit with him, Stan, Bill and Bev? Maybe, he wonders, it was because he was starting to realise he’d judged the kid a little too quickly, because with the way Eddie was firing back comments, Richie half thinks he might have found his witty ol’ match.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: You serious?

Trashmouth-Tozier96: yh. why the fuck wouldn’t i be?

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: Oh, my God. Literally why do you have to type like that? I know for a fact that you’re actually pretty fucking smart, Tozier.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: And don’t call me Ed’s.

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: And yeah, okay. I’ll sit with you guys. Ben and Mike, too.

Trashmouth-Tozier96: sick dude. now can you level with me for a second

Doyouwannatalk-aboutthe80’s: What?

Trashmouth-Tozier96: did u honestly not find that meme funny at all

#richie x eddie #reddie #reddie imagine #areyoureddiekids #au

[darkmatterxafricanempires]

so

There’s this older dude in my life, never met him he’s more of a mentor-figure. Was introduced to him through an uncle, he’s like a family-friend uncle (black ppl you may be familiar, random adults introduced in your life from childhood and beyond and they’re your play uncles and aunties more so out of respect versus a familial obligation). 

Anyways, he’s a nice guy, we only chat through what’s app, he’s a professor at a university. I’ve been kind of lost on what I want to do for a career (had a plan, saw plan through, did not like end game...twas public relations, and it just wasn’t my jam). 

I talked to him on the phone first, he suggested public administration, lots of transferable skills and fulfilling job opportunities. I check out some programs, and do some research and I’m like cool, I think I’d like this. Mentor-uncle helps me with my application, revising, editing and making suggestions. I apply to the program and I get in. 

FF about a year later, (present-day ish) the program is near the end and I’m still unclear on what to do professionally. I know what I don’t want to do, but my exact vision is unclear (it’s not that it’s unclear, it’s just unconventional, and I’m still conceptualizing how to execute it). 

Mentor-uncle doesn’t live in close by, he’s about 5hr drive and 1hr plane ride away. He’s visiting where I live for a board meeting. My mother suggests I meet up with him to discuss more career aspirations, I’m like “nah.” He’s done a lot to help me, but I feel like he doesn’t have much to offer me now. 

He reaches out to me directly and lets me know he’s going to be in town, I already knew this of course, but I felt obligated (guilt induced by being child of immigrant parents, whatever) so I offer to pick him up from the airport, grab a bite to eat, and drop him off at his hotel. 

Kinda going above and beyond, I know, but he really helped me w/ my shitty application, and I’m 92% I would not have been admitted to my program without his help. So it’s my own way of saying thanks, and balancing the playing field, and repaying this debt to him I’ve created in my head. 

So everything’s set, I’m gonna be his uber driver for a lil bit. Signals get slightly crossed, he’s arriving at an airport that a lot further out of my way but closer to his hotel. I’m running a bit behind (leaving from school which is north-er, his airport is downtown a lot more south), so to avoid missing his check-in time he calls a cab, and takes that to his hotel. Annoying (bc I arrive the airport 5mins after he leaves) but understandable bc he wants to secure his room.

He asks me meet to him at his hotel instead, we can grab dinner and part ways from there, cool. Meet him at his hotel, for the first time in person. All is well, he’s nice in-person. He grabs his stuff we ask the ppl at the front desk for a suggestion, bing bang boom. We end up at this cute 24-hour cafe restaurant. Dinner is relatively nice, he’s a middle-aged, well-educated african man, a little self-involved and pompous but not obnoxiously so.

Not to toot my own horn, but I have a great sense of humour, a lot would say I’m funny in fact. And I can be a little bit of flirt, but more in a compliment you on a random aspect of your life kind of charming way, like some pg-13 flirting maybe G, not the AA and/or rated-X kind. Unless I’m trying to go that route yaaaaaa dig 👀👀. 

Anyways, dinner was IMO quite platonic, plus mentor-uncle has a wife and a kid back in the motherland, so there are no romantic or sexually driven thoughts or feelings running through my head at alllllllllll (plus I’m maaaad gay, so nah).

Red flag #1 

I think (there may have been others, but I’m not sure). I’ve parked my car right across from his hotel, in a green p (toronto slang for a paid parking garage, not really slang bc that’s what they’re called). We walk past this green p and continue onwards to his hotel (retrospect: should’ve taken that moment to just say bye, go to my car, and dip home) 

We’re walking into his hotel, my internal dialogue is on overdrive (I’ve done my good deed for the night, there’s really nowhere else I see this evening going). We get back to him room, I go sit down in one of the 2 chairs by the tv and he lays down in his bed. (red flag #1.5) 

Red flag #2 

he says, “why don’t you come and lay down with me and we can talk here.” I’m like, “Nooooo.” Pretty insistently, because, no. He keeps probing, saying it’s a king-size bed there’s plenty of room for the two of us to just lay down and talk. I’m still very strong in my no’s and I say I’m fine where I am. 

So admittedly I should’ve taken this opportunity for to make a swift exit, clearly he thinks this evening can end with us in bed, and there’s no way I’m letting that happen. So there’s bit of a silence and I’m thinking of all the ways I can leave abruptly without being extremely rude (and I hate it so much, that I’m concerned with being rude, when he’s being the penultimate rude boy inviting me to his bed to “talk.”

Red-flag #2.5-3 

He gets out of his king-sized to sit in the chair next to mine, by the TV. He doesn’t read too much in to my rebuttals, instead shows me the agenda for his board meeting the next morning, *yawn*. He’s wondering what’s on TV, it’s late-ish, we’re watching Stephen Colbert with Anna Wintour and some next guy looking at ancient catholic artifacts, in relation to the met gala. 

Whatever, it ends we’re now watching James Corden. He’s got Zlattan on as a guest, some really famous arrogant european soccer player. So I’m just plotting my polite exit strategy in my head, and after some fortune teller segment, I’m like “So I’m going to leave now.” He’s all like “it’s sooo late, you don’t have to leave. Just the spend the night, I’ve got this king-size bed...there’s plenty of room” etc. And again, I’m like “Nooooo that’s fine, I’m going leave.”

He’s really pushy on me spending the night, I’m equally pushy saying no that’s fine. He goes on to say, “So you’re really going to leave me here all alone, all by myself.” Some super manipulative bullshit like that, and I’m like “Yes, yes I am going to do exactly that.” The vibes were never threatening or violent, just persistent, creepy and overbearing. So he accepts my answer and was like, “Can I least get a hug since you’re leaving me.” And I know sooo many women, probably even some men even have dealt with this reverse-psychology mindfuckery. And again, I should’ve declined but I felt bad, strangely guilty even though I had no real reason to be. 

I obliged gave him a hug, I was super tense. And it was pretty short, then as we’re exiting the room, he asks for a real hug, I again stupidly oblige, still super tense and it’s this horribly long uncomfortable hug where he proceeds to feel up my back and sides. And I’m just horrified, feeling so frozen and gross, but perfectly able to end this one-sided grope session. I can see our reflection behind him in a mirror, and I look disgusted with him and myself for continuing this for no good reason. 

He pulls back, looks me in the eye and leans for a gross closed mouth uncle kiss, I tense up, and deer in headlights just allow this unwanted kiss to happen, my mouth scrunched up in utter disgust. He pulls a back again and repeats, and again I just allow this to happen. “Whyyyyyyyyyyy!!???!?” I’m screaming at myself in my mind. Finally this awkward ass embrace ends, I feel even more disgusted, again with myself for non-verbally consenting to this shit through my inaction. And with him, at thinking this was okay at any point in time ever. 

He gives me a smile, I know I’ve got some kind of grimace-y forced smile on my face, and I’m super expressive especially in my facial reactions so theres no way I look okay/content/happy.

So he walks me to my car at the green p, and insists that we need to see each other again before leaves. I, still being the well-mannered, respectful, “gracious” young lady, say “probably not, but we’ll see” bc we’re both busy the next day, and he flies out the following morning. In my mind screaming at myself, why are you still keeping up appearances with this fucking piece of shit garbage face man.

We say our goodbyes, I speed off and that’s it for our encounter. I’m driving home, sad AF, just really really really disappointed in myself for letting it even get that far. So i’m just casually crying and driving home and that’s the end of that tale. 

I just felt so stupid, and gross, and just like I got played. And I’m just so upset with him for even trying that bullshit on me. Our exchanges have been the utmost of platonic, and for him to suggest or assume anything otherwise is just so predatory and gross. 

I suppose I’m really thankful because this whole situation could have sooooooooooo much worse, like a lot worse if he was a violent man. But strangely (and fucked-upedly), if he was more aggressive I would have felt so much more justified in acting more brash, maybe being more of a bitch, and really actually standing my ground wholeheartedly. 

I dunno this happened just last evening, like just over 24hrs ago (May 10th), so I’m still processing but I do feel a lot better about the whole situation, but still uber gross. 

This is a super long post, so 3 cheers if you made it through. 🙃

I journaled about it too the night of and that kind of helped. And I debriefed with my dad the following morning. He was surprisingly supportive and very understanding. I love my dad, but he’s the same guy who believes men should have multiple wives bc what’s a husband to do for sex after wife #1 has a baby...

But he made me feel better when he told me he hates when ppl especially men do things like this, and take advantage of women/the situation. With everything going on with the #metoomovement you’d think men in positions of power would be more cautious, he even stated this.. Although, he did ask me if I gave any signs or signals to encourage his behaviour (and I ran through the entire situation myself in my head, several times, thinking the same. Did I give off any vibes or behaviour to promote this? And I truly didn’t. Besides being friendly, naaaah. Which is still no excuse for him at all).  

My dad said I should confront him, and tell him how he made me feel. I just wanted to block him and pretend like he never existed. I found a happy medium and told him via what’s app, that he made me feel extremely uncomfortable and said that it was in no way my intention to lead him on if I had. He tried calling me back immediately after a few times, but I wasn’t ready to talk, so I ignored the calls. 

I tried calling him back several hours later (roughly 11ish hours later) bc 1) I’m kinda petty AF and wanted him to stew in his feelings like I had for hours 2) bc I did deserve an apology and maybe just some perspective on WTF he was thinking and where or what was he acting from.

He didn’t pick up and I’m high-key super grateful he didn’t, bc although I’m not horrible at it. But confrontation isn’t my strong suit. 

TL;DR: mentor figure betrays trust through unwanted sexual advancements and suggestions

#text post #sorry for the tldr #tldr i know #personal post #super personal post #abuse of power #mentorship gone wrong #disappointed #tw harassment

[kevinhaas]

Homewreckage.

@sv-ev asked for Stan Frederick fanfiction. I, being the loch ness monster at the bottom of the Slenderverse cesspool, obliged.

80% awful comedy, 20% awful melodrama and 100% bullshitted nonsense, this is the antitheses of “In-Character” writing. I hope you still enjoy it, dude, and that is makes you laugh.

(Also, it’s a “““ship”““ fic (bc ofc it is), so if you wanted to maybe you could convince that other guy to read it with you. 👀 asdfghioiuhgvb )

"We can't keep meeting like this," Stan says. His tone is flat and in the darkness of the motel room, his expression is hidden. Like always, Noah notes bitterly, he keeps himself unreadable.

Noah snorts. "Uhh, whose idea was this in the first place, Stan? It sure as fuck wasn't mine."

Stan drags his hands down his face with a long, drawn-out sigh. Noah had a point, but Noah was also kind of a bitch.

He twists his wedding band between his fingers and reminds himself that he only loves Noah for his sweet, sweet bod. Much like the very heterosexual Harvey Milk or Oscar Wilde, Stan was not gay-- he simply appreciated the male form. He especially appreciated Noah's flat ass and unkempt beard when he was pounding him into the mattress-- platonically, of course.

"So, what? You wanna break up?" Stan suggests, tired. That would probably be the best solution. As much as Stan would miss having someone to do weird butt stuff with-- since he could only do weird knee  and elbow stuff with his wife-- it had become hard to justify all the trips down to Florida. Originally, he had just told Susan that Slenderman's tomb was in the tropical rainforests of Miami and that in order to vanquish him, he had to exum his horcruxes and expose him to the morning sun after destroying them.

Susan, who read Harry Potter and thought horcruxes were real, was originally sympathetic. But when it took him more than a few months to machete his way through the lush Miamian canopy, she began to grow suspicious. He had told her-- while hastily concealing the lipstick mark from Noah that decorated his collar-- that Suitman Mansuit had sealed a chunk of his soul in a Nokia cellphone and instantly her anger softened.

Fondly, Stan regarded how open-minded and magical his wife was. She was beautiful and loving and funny and perfect; their personalities meshed together well and every day with her was a gift.  Unfortunately, as I mentioned two paragraphs ago, there was no butt stuff, and since Stan was a heterosexual man, that was enough to make him stray.

His thoughts are interrupted by a pillow right to his got-damn head. "Stop inner-monologuing like you're on daytime TV!" Noah shouts.  His lips quibble, and as hard as he tries to perpetuate his internal anger engine, he can't will himself to stay entempered with his paramour.

"Of course I don't want to break up!" Noah flings himself into Stan's waiting arms. Noah looks up at him, eyes moist and shining. "Why can't you just leave your wife? I want to be together."

It was a loaded question, so complicated but so simple.

The long answer was Henrich's Theory or Fates. First studied in 1717 by Hemlick Henrich, the Theory essentially states that the time at which one met a person determined the relationship those two might have. The younger the age two persons are when meeting, the more likely they are to retain incredible importance in each other's lives. However, the persons one might meet in adulthood often fail to have a lasting impact. (It was for this reason that 97% of eHarmony users that has met their spouses online would later kill and devour them. [Citation needed]) It was a complicated psychological theory, and the second-most praised one in Quacks Quarterly, right after every single thing Sigmund Freud had ever written.

Stan had met Susan and Connor in his impressionable post-fetal stage. They'd all grown up together, forming an intense bond. As a result, Stan had porked both of them and married at least one. Noah, however, hadn't come into his life until many years later, when his brain had already formed a protective cocoon around itself in order to keep out the sexy (but negative) influences that came with adulthood. Specifically, telemarketers and the Amish. The short answer was--

"Dude, I'm straight. YOU'RE straight. 'No homo' doesn't work if we run away together."

Noah rubs his eyes and shrugs. "I just thought it could be a bro thing, ya know? Just us traveling the country in a convertible, sharing a bed in seedy motels." He smiles shyly, sniffling. "Maybe buy a house in the 'burbs together, adopt a couple kids. Have a garden and a dog. There's nothing gay about co-parenting a dog, Stan"

Stan tenderly rests his hand on Noah's own. With an equal amount of soft tenderness, he whispers, "Noah, co-parenting a dog is kinda gay."

Noah grasps his hand. "It doesn't have to be gay," he murmurs. "It doesn't have to be."

"But you mentioned kids too."

"Nothing gay about two non-related men raising kids together."

"Noah." Stan sighs. He strokes Noah's hair, pressing their foreheads together. "We need to be realistic. We can't go on like this."

"What're you saying, dude?"

Stan's eyes flicker down and he smiles, bittersweet. He knew this was coming-- he'd known it for a while. He should have brought this up months ago, when their relationship was fresh, not so attached. It would have hurt then, certainly, but not to the extent that it did now.

The words that rested on his tongue made his stomach churn and his lungs ache. A lesser man would chalk this up to heartburn, but despite the Supreme Taco Party Pack from Taco Bell that they had shared before holing up in their love nest, Stan knew deep inside that this feeling was not gas, but regret. Regret that he couldn't bifuricate himself into two equally handsome dudes, like a sexy little worm.

But he couldn't. He had to choose between the love of his life-- his shining star, his rock, his hope. The one whose very presence could paint the grey sky blue and who was also really good at everything, especially late-night cuddlepiles-- And Noah, who let him put it in for free.

It was a tough call.

"What I'm saying, Noah, is... we're brover."

Noah stares at him for a moment-- or, Stan assumes he does. It's still too dark to see- in stunned silence. Then, wordlessly, he gets up and dresses, most likely putting his shirt on backwards before he walks out the door, slamming it behind him.

Stan isn't sure what did it: the finality of the declaration, so much like a knife in Noah's guts-- or the shitty fucking pun. Like his sexuality, Noah's temper really could go either fucking way.

Regardless, as Noah walks out of his life, there's an enormous amount of relief. It was a euphoric release of burden, comparable only to the feeling one might get by telling every one of their Twitter and YouTube followers to literally fuck off.

Stan flops back into the bed, which still smells of...whatever it is people in Florida bathe with. Orange juice, he thinks. He finds his phone, with its bulky waterproof case.

Stan calls his wife.

#Stan Frederick #the record of stan frederick #Mine #Fanfiction

[cricketwrangler]

man so in general at work i’ve felt kinda shitty since i started cause like, i don’t particularly get along with any of my coworkers. like its not like we cant work together, but ive been feeling really socially inept because most of them kinda ignore me unless they can’t, and some of them are ruder about it (like, if i talk to them for any reason, whether friendliness or just i have to talk to them about a work thing, act like im the equivalent of an annoying kid tugging on their shirt). I don’t really push to be friends with anyone and have tried being more friendly and talkative a few times, but after I started feeling like this i just decided to not put in that effort so at least i can’t be considered annoying. And to be honest, the more i hear these people talk among themselves, the more i have zero respect for them and don’t like them anyway. And i’m moving in a few months so it’s like, whatever, i mostly just worry what’s wrong with me that people don’t like me when I don’t do a whole lot that could turn people against me. 

Anyway though today this one guy that’s never talked to me and usually has the “why are you talking to me” attitude if ive ever asked him a question or something, suddenly talks to me the whole. damn. unload. like i was the one unloading the truck and he was the one at the front of the line pushing stuff down, and usually we’re both listening to music.

but today he’s suddenly talking to me nonstop every time he’s near me, but like it’s obvious he doesn’t actually want to talk to me he just wants to like, talk and be listened to. like about movies and stuff. and it was already kinda obnoxious bc it was a mix of him assuming i knew the movies but also like, explaining the plot and his take on them in detail. and like not knowing the movies there was not a lot i could say other than “uh huh” or stuff based off what he said. but also a looooot of shit he said was suspect. like i didn’t expect much cause any time i’ve heard him talk before was to this other incredibly obnoxious guy and its always about reddit. but i didnt know enough about the movies he was talking about to be SURE he was that type.

but yeah anyway it got worse and worse as it devolved to him talking about video games and then at one point saying that he didnt trust reviews for anything unless it was like, by a youtuber the media hates or something, since they wouldn’t be paid to be biased. and im just like please don’t say pewdiepie please don’t say pewdiepie. and i swear to god he comes back like “pewdiepie for example----”

and ended up with him going on about how some people just hate stuff bc theyre triggered and offended and all that kinda stuff thats just like red flag lmao, and constantly using the r word. at one point used “gay” as a generic insult for “stupid thing that sucks” and then backtracked like uh... i mean i dont mean that like..you know its just a thing people say about things that arent very good... sorry if youre offended....like bro the problem here is that i feel like i could have met someone exactly like you back in middle school.

also to top it off, him and the other guy that like to be all “haha triggered lol” and brag about the kind of awful jokes they make, are also the ones who are like “i don’t watch the news because i don’t want all the negativity” and rag on anyone who gives a damn about anything actually happening.

SO at this point i’m really wanting to figure out what it is about me that makes other people not want to talk to me, so that i can try and get this guy to never talk to me again, ever.

#i just had to rant about this bc it still doesnt seem real lmao #but also do you ever listen to a guy and then just feel really bad for his girlfriend