#and we actually started having a good convo

[yiangchen]

why is it so fucking hard to get over the people that have hurt you the most??? how can you know how terrible they are for you and still want them???

#i was dating this new guy or at least i thought i was and i was starting to think i liked him and then i found out he sees me as a friend #i found this out while drunk #and drunk me CANNOT be trusted #i immediately started texting this other guy that i'm clearly not over #the same one that i said i ran into the other night (if any of you even have any idea what im talking about lmao idc i just need to vent) #so yeah i just immediately start texting him #he was mad at me because i didnt say hi the other night #so he hadnt been responding #but this time he finally did #he seemed to finally understand when i said that seeing him again was a lot for me and that my hands for literally shaking #and thats why i couldnt go up and talk to him #and we actually started having a good convo #but then he shut down again like he always does #and i know thats just how he is #i know hes just not ready to let me in #he literally said hes not ready to let anyone in #but its like my heart wont listen yk #because we both admitted how much we cared about each other #and my heart just latches onto that #im well aware that if he still wanted me he would say it #ive been so honest with my feelings #the only thing i havent done is come right out and say i wanna be with him and see if this works #but like....i dont have to say that #he knows how i feel #and if he felt the same way he would do something about it #BUT MY HEART WONT LISTEN #i know that i shouldnt but i cant stop hoping that we're somehow going to end up together #i really thought i was moving on with this other guy but HERE WE ARE #the second that doesnt work out im right back here pining over a guy that broke my heart so many times i lost count #god.

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[undyinglantern]

the amount of surprised pika “wait people actually shave their arms?” comments on posts about body hair are so funny like I unironically am so happy for you that you weren’t laughed at by a classmate for having hairy arms “like a man” in like 4th grade this is why I wish body hair conversations would stop centering around armpit hair

#okay that’s the tldr but the way I actually remember it is that the classmate (a boy) pointed out my arm hair and ask why so hairy #and I genuinely was so confused I was just like idk??? and then later at home that day I asked my mom about it and she was like #It’s bc your dads side of the family is hairy so then I later talked to that guy again like ‘I take after my dad’ or whatever #And /then/ is when he laughed and was like ‘but you’re a girl’ about it #Granted I’m non-binary but like I didn’t know that in elementary #Plus I didn’t stop shaving until around mid 2010s and was still self conscious about it for years #Like I remember feeling embarrassed during college (2018ish) if I had to use the rest room and someone else was in there when I would roll #My sleeves up to wash my hands #Anyways I eventually stopped caring about it sometime within the last year or 2 but see how long that took? It really shouldnt #Like some of us just genetically have more darker thicker visible body hair than others and we shouldn’t be shamed for it #One thing at a time though because even I’m still working through leg hair shame #I don’t shave them anymore but I also haven’t worn shorts outside of my bedroom in years #I’ll literally switch into shorts if it’s too hot right before bed and switch back into pants before stepping out of my room in the morning #I’ve been feeling cute the past few days and it’s starting to warm up again plus also had a convo w mom recently so #I might change that soon but only within the house still bc baby steps <3 #Anyways I’m just rambling now so I should stop. Good night !!

[pinkopalina]

as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.

i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.

i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?

i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.

#does this make sense. they love each other because theyre perfect for each other #but in order to create that perfection they have to do things that build resentment #and in order to ebb that resentment they have to be in constant flux. back and forth. ebb and flow. good and evil. chaos and order. #obsession and indifference.... the two themes i think we miss out on the most bc it hurts when indifference is the opposite of love #and obviously these two cannot be indifferent toward the otther #but when they have plots that do they really fucking hurt! #like when lex luthor comes into the picture and helps joker and joker starts to make batman a little jealous #like okay maybe i dont need you to obsess over maybe any strong ideals can overtake me if u lnow what i mean #and then suddenly batmans gotta prove how well he knows joker and has to be on top of him at all times #um anyways i hope these kind of! made sense!!!!!!!!! djhdkjghijsdfhksdfh #like ideally i think joker just wishes he had batman all to himself but knows he has to share #and hes such a jealous baby that he makes it hard for batman bc of it #and batman is like yes joker jesus fucking christ i love you too but you have to let me have friends #and u have to stop killing people #and jokers like why are you friends with murderers and liars and thieves but IM BAD? #and batmans like bc i actually love everyone and want to help you all and that includes u #and jokers like jo fuck you hypocrtie hahaha see at least in my loneliness i have no laurels to rest on #and bruce is like i may struggle with my morals often but that is only because im always figuring out the best way to keep helping everyone #and if i lose sight of that ill go blind and be like you and then u wont have me anymore #lol sometimes funny tag convos get the dynamic better than the meaty posts #long post #anyways sorry i just havee 2937973957273 thoughts about them and so does everyone and i wanna throw my hat in

[aeide-thea]

[witcherposting ahead—nb that this is all totally lighthearted and it's fine if you feel differently!]

anyway what i'd started to say before tumblr ate my post was that like. disclaimer that my approach to netflix witcher canon is that i fully reserve the right to cherrypick, because some of the changes they made were good but others were character assassination, and that obviously i get that if one isn't cherrypicking one does have to actually Grapple With Certain Things 🏔

but like. that said—the more 'Geralt Must Grovel for Weeks and Probably Scourge Himself, Look at What He Did to Poor Sad-Eyed Woobie Jaskier' fics i read the more i'm fucking grateful for the tiny handful where jaskier's just been like, yeah, i never bought that bullshit tbh, he was lashing out and he owes me an apology for sure but a single angry outburst does not in fact scupper an extremely well-established relationship of literally twenty years' standing in one fell swoop???

like i just. idk. imagine remembering that jaskier's a cheery irrepressible little shit and not actually as crushably low on self-esteem as all of us are. of course that would probably require *netflix* to have remembered that, so, you know, no actual shade to anyone who's been projecting that onto him! but just like. idk. they're obviously not siblings but they honestly do have that vibe in certain ways and it's just like. did you never say something overdramatic and shitty in the heat of a fight with yr sibling growing up and then after taking a bit of a breather just like. make a rueful face and apologize for yr respective roles in winding each other up and move tf on, without having, like, a whole extended OTT reparations process where you tell them repeatedly how perfect and sinless they are and how you know you're a miserable worm who doesn't remotely deserve their sunshiny presence in your life but would be so grateful if they could, possibly, somehow, see their way to forgiving you despite yr essential unworthiness—

#anyway. i think there are like. MAYBE like three of you reading this blog who give a shit abt this fandom‚ lol #so i'm mostly just talking out loud to myself here‚ which is fine‚ what's a perblog for if not that #but it's just like. yeah on the one hand you don't just get to yell at people without apologizing at all #on the other hand like. some relationships are strong and elastic enough that one (1) snip is not going to cut them #even a vicious one! #also like. jaskier DID handle that convo clumsily lbr. like. obviously geralt was not Justified but. #if i'd just had a vicious breakup and somebody came bumbling in making loud awkward small talk about it? jesus. #anyway. really ultimately this is just a 'have consumed much too much witcher fic and the Patterns are starting 2 irk me' thing #but it's just like. sometimes things are conflict between two imperfect people #and not a Good Woobie and a Sinful Meanie #anyway. time 2 go reread Sekrit Mutual's fic in which they actually keep in mind the fact that jaskier is a selfish gremlin #who despite himself really does love geralt and as a result is like. constantly torn between his nature and his urge to do right by geralt #but like. fundamentally he's a buffoon and a popinjay who yaps aggressively and then runs back behind geralt's legs #and joey batey leaning into his Soulful and Romantic side (that he does also have) doesn't actually erase that about him‚ nor should it! #anyway. this post is careening all over the place but i think it's just like. exactly the same weird terfish moral binary #that ppl have been talking abt with like. gender and kink and a whole range of things #where like. you always have Victims and Perpetrators #and so jaskier has to be like. the femme bottom victim which makes geralt the macho perpetrator totally undeserving of sympathy #and it's like. actually they're both imperfect people and neither one fits very well into their society's idea of what a man is #and what if we actually examined them as individuals rather than tropes and also remembered yennefer was fierce and interesting #and what if ciri weren't‚ like‚ a manhattan private school girl with her brows done while we were at it #getting a little overambitious with my wishlist there though i know

[godsfavoritescientist]

*collapses on the floor and starts having visions (new fic ideas)*

#godsrambles #godsficideas #tags essay #the idea is: in his early portal travel days. ford thinks he has discovered a way to quickly and easily confront and kill bill #it sounds almost too good to be true. but he has to try. #the random alien stranger/s who sold him this 'opportunity' for a high price are like 'ok. setting up the death ray now. brb' #'meanwhile a portal to bills dimension will start opening up. its safe youll be fine.' #so ford is sitting in this tiny storage room place with an alleged portal to the nightmare realm slowly opening up before his eyes. #and bill is on the other side of the so-called 'portal.' he can look right back at ford. fords like 'hmm i hate this actually im going' #turns out the door is locked. fords first thought is 'uh oh they sold me out to bill it was all a trick'. but bill is unable to reach him. #it isnt even a portal. its just a glorified interdimensional video call. they locked the door to give them enough time to run off #before ford realized the scam. so bill laughs at him for a min. and then they have a conversation. ford finally asks 'Why??' #'why would you ruin my life??'. and bill kinda. obliges him just this once. drops his cheerful annoying act just this once. #and answers him plainly and honestly 'I didnt. i didnt try to ruin your life. it never even crossed my mind how your life could be affected #'it was all a means to an end. i wasnt ever out to get you. you never factored in at all beyond your use for making the portal.' #'i never even thought about you when we werent interacting. not even once. you think i had some big evil scheme that youre at the center of #'youre insignificant to me. all that happened was: you fell for a scam.' #'will the guys who locked you in here ever think about you again? theyve probably forgotten your face and name already.' #'im not out to get you. i just want my job finished. the same way those guys just wanted their money.' #the bottom line of the convo being: bill really *doesnt* give a single fuck. and ford never mattered to him. #not even enough for him to *think* about ford every now and then. #fords holding a grudge against a guy who barely even remembers him. #obviously this goes against my interpretation of canon but it would still be fun to write #au where bill Truly doesnt care about ford in any way and isnt even interested by him at all #the inspiration for this was just the concept of: how crushing the realization would be for ford #the horror of realizing exactly how insignificant you are in the eyes of the eldritch being that ruined your life #i am willing to write something that feels ooc for bill when it is for angst purposes lmao #indifferent-eldritch-being bill is such an angsty concept. very fun to explore #an ao3 fic called 'the bolt that busted off the lever' (iirc) has this interpretation of bill and it is great #bill looking *bored* while interacting with ford??? absolutely heartbreaking concept 10/10

[pepprs]

meant to post abt this yesterday and ik it’s kinda mean but i think the counselor i have rn is the worst one ive ever had possibly even worse than (or tied w) the one i had over the summer who kept ending our sessions well before the full hour was up when i was going thru a horrible time and kept spending the sessions mostly talking abt herself and her own problems. actually no now that i write that out she was probably the worst (though she was one of the warmest / nicest and our personalities meshedreally well so i feel bad saying that she was the worst). but the one i have now is so…. lke idk. my experience w the worst counselor made me rly want to work w a clinical intern again bc i wanted someone who would like. actuallytake things seriously and give me the time i was paying for and spend all of it talki ng abt the things i was paying to talk abt and draw from the most recent / cutting edge info instead of entirely personal experience (WHICH AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD ABT BECAUSE. my work is all abt healing each other by sharing things like that and i realt did like her but it just wasn’t appropriate i guess bc it was a counseling relationship!) but my current counselor is so… rigid and restrictive. like i think he is trying too hard to apply what he’s being taught and he seems like nervous and talking out of his ass and he masks that by taking up SO much space and spending like 3 minutes responding to every one minute i talk and literally like strongarmimg the convos and deciding what we’re going to talk about and moving us on to a new topic abruptly before i feel ready to move on and like taking time out of our sessions to do paperwork / admin stuff so he doesn’t forget later (and a lot of the time i think he’s doing it while im talking bc i see his eyes moving around his screen and the light on his face like he’s not even listening to me). and it fucking sucks. i want to crack him like an egg so bad and make him realize it doesn’t have to be this way but i know that’s not my responsibility and in our session last night i basically gave up trying to create enough space for myself and just let him steer things bc i was having side effects and it was just rly unsatisfying

#purrs #i know it is entirely within my right to address these things both for my sake and for his / his future clients but im so scared lol like i #don’t want to tell him he’s doing a bad job and making it hard for me to navigate but literally when you keep steamrolling and silencing me #and cutting me off and forcing me around… yeah. also he has to record our sessions and show them to his profs / supervisors and it’s so like #idk. ive been recorded in sessions before and im totally fine w it but there’s 2 things abt this specific instance of it thst distress and #annoy me. 1) when we sign on to our session he says like 2 things to me then starts the recording and is TOTALLY fake and forcing it like #hello tess welcome to our session and he’ll repeat some of the stuff he said but in a more like.. extensive way so it just feels rly fake #to me lol. WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME 1.5) not related to the recording but every time he asks me questions he asks like… 3 questions but doesn’t #give me space to answer the two like it’s just a bridge for him as he&/ working his way to the thing he actually wants to ask me and i #fucking hate when ppl ask me questions and then answer them themselves or like don’t want to hear the answer. i had 2 profs like that in #brighton and it fucking pissed me offff so being around someone who does that again is rly agitating ik it’s just a nervous habit but yeah. #and 2) i am kinda concerned that none of my counselors profs or supervisors have seemed to call him on how he doesn’t give me space or let #me guide the convo. like idk maybe it’s just that all of my counselors before him were too loose w me but i feel like it s not supposed to f #feel this rigid and i am kinda scared abt the implications of no one actually watching these recordings and see how i try to speak but he #almost always talks over me and i just give up. lol. i like him he’s a nice person i just think he’s nervous and trying too hard and it #would be passable for like.. the little kid clients who usually go there but it doesn’t feel good for me a 23 year old who has had like what #6 counselors before him all of whom gave me space and didn’t shove me around. i miss the counselors i had from oct 2020 - jul 2021 and sept #2021 - feb 2022 they were the best ever and i am inches away from terminating here and just trying to go to wherever they are full time now #and working w them again bc they rly got me and i didn’t know how good i had it lol. i guess i don’t need someone as good anymore bc things #in my life are objectively better than they were during those times but my mental health is still bad so i would uhhh… like someone good #and don’t think that’s too much to ask and need to get it into my head that i CAN ask it. ok rant over #*no one actually watching the recordings has seen / pointed out to him how he steamrolls me etc etc

[kulliare]

ok at the GREAT age of 20 i think i’ve gotten my first actual crush

#it’s vile and i’m never going to act on it but. uhm #okay it’s not vile but god #i spent the entire day with my group of friends and yet the like #20 min convo i had with her on the bus was almost the favorite part #(food remains supreme; i’m sorry) #it’s amazing/bad that we’re so similar lol like we’re both on tumblr #so we kind of reference the same things and like. uhm #we started talking about our blorbos and i ended up mentioning lost and she was like #she screamed laughed ‘LOST? from TWENTY YEARS AGO?’ and that was just so good #but then as soon as we started to get into blorbotown but then it was her stop #also: chronically afraid she somehow knows my blog handle + would see this #i know her like public facing one and. i have looked at it im sorry even tho its lowkey invasion of privacy it feels like #but also on the ride back home without her i was thinking of scenarios where we were just talking and stuff and uhm. yeah. #i actually don’t know her that well even but >_> i just need to keep telling myself that #but until then. uh

[siriuslynephilim]

it should be studied the way i immediately start crying after masturbating like girl where is the serotonin i was promised

#i just. the memories won't stop one after the other like a messy movie #all that talk about sex and love and a future together #all that teasing at night like oh think of me when you do it #and actually thinking of her for a whole year. how do i just forget #and the teasing the joking about who would play what role but both of us knowing exactly what would happen #but it was fun to tease #and the quiz the teasing referencing the quiz to make a point #and sometimes the honest convos truly vulnerable ones no teasing pure love and want #and sending clips on pinterest and them saying one day #and just. the full comfort and safety. and imagining your whole life with someone and suddenly you have to think aboit other people becaus #well they're gone. and they always said don't have hopes for the future i can't promise and i didn't listen #i think ive moved on but really i don't think i have just have gotten good at suppressing distracting #it's been. a little over a month and still it feels like everything is falling apart my house of dreams and hopes is falling apart around #me slowly and im just sitting in the floor crying #i shouldn't have listened to that gracie song i just. i saw her story and i thought she was going to release it and idk wanted to listen #one last time the youtube live version #ab aise lag raha ki back to square one #i keep having these thoughts involuntarily i don't know how to mske them stop #i remember few weeks ago i was hanging out with my bestie and i miss you im sorry started playing on shuffle from her playlist #and i was like fuck this song she told me about it we loved it gracie was like our artist #and i was like ok ill be brave and listen to it i have to one day na she's one of my fave artists #but we hadn't even reached the chorus and my bestie was like no and changed it immediately she must've seen something on my face #cause a hundred memories flashed before my eyes in those 10 something seconds #can u believe. having so many memories with someone you just text. what the fuck man i can't even remember my syllabus they should fade #okay goodnight

[yongseungkim]

.

#shes so confsuing to me to the point the other week iw as like can we talk #not about my actual feelings but iw as sitting ther elike hello do u see me as someone close to u? #and like maybe an unfair question to ask but i also think we've gotten to a point where she wouldn't have necessarily lied also like #idk #i was like man im scared ive overestimated how close we are cuz i feel close to u but i have no idea how u feel about me #and she was like yeah id like to think we are close ive told u things ive told few ppl which yeah! #i know that ! #i think what was confusing for me too was like her actions and i was like this is a good thing of u but it also feels like #youd do certain things for anyone like things id maybe not #for her closeness she says is more emotional vulnerability than anything so for her sharing things is a sign #rather than doing things for people (?) #her nature is just someone whos very helpful very selfless person to the point where id wish shed think about herself a little more lol #convo was nice tears were shed on both sides but in the end idk if i said what i wanted to say #but also it has left me more confused cuz im like okay if we r close then why do u treat xyz person like this and not me #so funny to cuz she was like she has tiers of favorites not like u know rankings but idk i didnt fully tell her this #but to me her favorites are SO clear like #she tends to stick to whoever she feels closest to in a given group i think so #i started to ask her a bit abt it i was like uhh ik u said that u dont have favs but xyz person feels like ur no.1 and idk how to #really navigate that in a group setting (honestly i cant ever tell if im third wheeling w them like its to THAT extent) #and then xyz person came so the conversation stopped lol #or rather changed haha #rambles #dl

[beeben]

Straight up questioning my sexuality hours

#if i think of a man for more than a few seconds it starts becoming like an immediate turn off i don't understand why #cus i enjoy the concept obviously i post about hot men all the time #but like. they're all fake right #I don't have to smell them or wonder if they brush their teeth or if they understand how weird it is to only talk about sex and work 24/7 #every woman attracted man I've ever had the misfortune of passing by in the dating pool has just been like the most flavorless sex addict #they'll pretend to have the same interests as you but then talking for more than 5 minutes its clear theyre bluffing #instantly change the topic to be about 'when are u coming over aha' #they ask u all these fuckin questions and never talk about themselves and then go 'i think we have a good connection' #like dude the only thing i know about you is your work schedule cus the only time you text is when your in bed with a hard on #and then they go oh i have low self esteem #BIG WHOOP DUDE EVERYONE DOES #god its hard enough to try and connect with someone im actually comfy talking to and these people expect me to carry both ends of the convo

[lawbloodfreak]

random blonde woman talking in public setting me off into a weird event where I get freaked out and kind of feel like she’s talking at me ish type thing #3 (

#all happen w isa there ofc #personal #to be fair to blondes I don’t know they’re blonde until it starts (except for number 2) #actually 2 was just abt the appearance bc she reminded me of 1. #it’s like their voice gets close and like in my head ish and it kinda feels like. well it’s hard to describe #I know they’re not talking to me #but the voice feels like its … idk how to describe. forced on to me? loud and close and I’m compelled to believe that she is kind of #talking to me. #also for 1 and 3 they were both on their phones #before this I thought that it was bc of the stress of isa being there (and I think 2 was bc blonde girl reminded me of 1 -those happened #on the same day) #but I wasn’t feeling stressed. right before it happened #we were having good convo #but I wasn’t stressed #and I wasn’t thinking abt 1 and 2 either #it seemed very random

[alexandrium]

the neighbors are being sooo sus lately. like since the drug bust ig they're moving on to chopping up cars? it's just so annoying seeing random ass strangers every single day. like idk u people at all. at least the neighbors on the other side just seem like ur normal avg old ppl

#its bc we live in between two halfway houses but one of them is being used by the landlords son #and im p sure hes a crip bc ill hear them fools be all like 'on crip' when stating stuff #and hes been arrested multiple times for having a gun #but other than that hes nice actually at least to us he had s convo with my bf abt playing apex together which is so weird #weird good not weird bad #but its just annoying seeing random strangers every day changing out and we finally start recognizing some they disappear and then we get a #a creepy ass bald man stepping out of his house everytime my bf and i go outside and just staring at us like bro leave us alone #i think he thinks we wanna steal his bike #my grandma does the same shit too i hate it

[eff-plays]

There's one convo with Astarion that's one of my favorites that I haven't seen mentioned or discussed yet happens (I assume) if you have high approval with him but play a good-aligned character. (This is at 60+ approval, start of Act 2.) It's probably because it's not a romantic cutscene so it doesn't get mentioned as much as the others (or because he's racist in it and some of y'all don't like to acknowledge that he has character flaws), but I think it's vital to his character and to explain his early relationship with a good-aligned Tav.

I would like to break it down a little, step by step. Because we are all cringe here.

First, he claims to feel a connection between Tav and himself, and the reason for this is because he believes he's identified "ambition" in Tav (and I'll explain why he's wrong later, but that's mostly headcanon territory, so we'll ignore it for now).

But, there's also clearly something holding Tav back from realizing their full potential, which is their naivete.

"Just that you ... have a big heart. You like doing what's right."

(The animations and voice acting here make him look and sound so fucking condescending, 10/10.)

However, Astarion doesn't tell them this is wrong, or that he disagrees. He implies it's a flaw, but doesn't state it outright. That's dangerous territory, see, and might predispose them to get defensive and reject what he has to say next.

No, he tries (and fails in my case, but it's cute that he tries, bless him) to manipulate Tav by appealing to that big heart of theirs.

"So I was thinking, what would be the right thing to do when we get to Moonrise Towers? When we come face-to-face with whoever is controlling the parasites in our heads."

"I'm just saying there's an opportunity here. If we can control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe and liberate the world from this evil."

See what he's doing? You like doing what's right, so what would be the right thing to do? We can keep ourselves safe. Liberate the world from evil.

It's very blatant, but he's trying to appeal to Tav's good nature by framing his questionable ideas as something that will benefit the greater good, something that's morally righteous that they would agree with.

And of course, it's incredibly funny when you ask how he thinks you'll do that, and he fumbles and admits he's not a "details person," but it's also revealing.

He thinks he's found in Tav ambition, when all he's actually found is ability. Tav exercises power proficiently, while Astarion does not. If he had the authority they have, he'd let ambition drive his actions, which is why he assumes that's what drives Tav when they exercise their power. A good-aligned Tav has very little ambition, I'd argue, but they have plenty of opportunity to exercise their power, which they do when their hand is forced.

So what Astarion is saying is, in effect, hey, you have power, I have ambition. Will you please use your authority/ability to do what I want? Here's how it'll totally be for the greater good, I prommy.

This is brilliant writing, and I really applaud Larian for managing to walk that fine line of making Astarion so sympathetic while he's literally trying to manipulate the player character. Because when I first got this convo, my thought was both "wow, I adore how blatant and terrible his manipulation attempts are, it's kind of endearing" and "he's so terrified, it's genuinely quite tragic."

If we control the tadpoles, we can keep ourselves safe. This works only somewhat as an appeal to good-aligned Tav, because it could also potentially sound very selfish, especially if Tav is the self-sacrificing sort. So notice how, when he says "liberate the world from evil", it sounds kinda tacked-on, an afterthought designed to bury his main goal, which is keep "ourselves" (i.e. himself) safe. Like, yes, this will keep us/me safe, but if you're not into that, then it'll totally help the world, too! It doesn't quite work, because he still sounds ironic and like he doesn't believe they'd be liberating anything from any evil (work that 10 Charisma, boy), but that's the intent, I think.

Does he want power for power's sake? Yes. Is he gleefully powerhungry? Absolutely. But he's also fucking terrified, and that slips through just a little bit, even behind the smug and confident facade.

He's trying to get Tav, whom he's seen exercise their power over others, to lend some of it to him, so that he may never fear anything ever again.

All of this from a short, smug convo where he admits he's too stupid to figure out how to fulfill his dreams of world domination.

God tier characterization, 10/10.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #bg3 spoilers #bg3 meta #video #worsties to lovers

[actuallyprobablyafaerie]

list of things that made me scream in pjo episode 3

Percy picking grover because he trusts him not to betray him!!! THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS OK

Luke still comes off as so likable and inconspicuous that whole convo he had with percy and the shoes i just

GROVER AND THE CONSENSUS SONG I CANT

annabeth staring at the different flavors of candy in the gas station and not being able to pick and just buying all of them. Thats the annabeth we deserve

ANNABETHS KNIFE APPEARANCE ALERT and a fury is IMMEDIATELY killed

uncle ferdinand foreshadowing……………

When annabeth and percy start arguing in the woods and grover tries to change the subject by talking about his uncle and they both completely ignore him. I LOVE GROVER SO MUCH

the bickering in this episode is ON POINT by the way

like the stuff theyre arguing about makes sense. Yes i would be concerned about those things too

ESPECIALLY since theres such a focus put on trust (esp after percy learns that someone is going to betray him) and percy and annabeth are arguing about stuff theyve lied or havent told each other about???? Sorry that might be skipping ahead a bit but GOD is that the good stuff

i love that they changed how the three of them ended up going into auntie em’s because before it was a little concerning that none of them figured out it was medusa. Plus having a fury outside just adds to the tension a perfect amount i think, because it really traps them in there

all the discussion about the gods and what medusa talks to percy about in the kitchen - YES MAKE ME HATE THEM!! All of this is adding up to lukes motivations making so much sense in the end

ALSO!! Them harkening back to sallys line in the first episode when she tells percy that not all heroes look like heroes and not all monsters look like monsters - they brought it back so perfectly. Percy wanting to trust medusa because of what his mom said, medusa calling Poseidon a monster, ALL OF IT is so good

When theyre down in the basement and grover puts on the shoes and then just fucking. Flies away and disappears into the darkness yelling a little. and annabeth and percy just kind of helplessly watch him go before being like - welp i guess that plans not working. That was peak comedy

them using annabeths hat on medusa and then using it to kill alecto THEY WERE SO SMART FOR THAT!!! Also percy just the invisible severed head was a hilarious concept to me

when percy suggests burying the hat in the ground with the hat on to make sure no one bad finds it and annabeth just!!! Agrees!!! And then grover has to be like no that hats important to her its a gift from her mother!!! And then percys like well we’ll find another solution then. That whole scene was good yes i liked that

also annabeth revealing that grover was her protector too and percy asks about it and grover just changes the subject and doesnt answer. He is the KING of avoidance

also grover finally interrupting annabeth and percy when they start fighting and giving his whole speech about getting along. That wouldve felt a little cheesy and preachy and out of place from anyone else but considering grover tried to get them to sing the consensus song a few hours earlier i fully believe that he would say that

I AM IMPERTINENT

Why the fuck wasnt there a lin manuel maranda jumpscare warning. I couldve used one of those

but actually all the jokes in this episode were so on point. Like percy calling drachmas chuckie cheese tokens. And him arguing about voting on the bus. Anyways

10/10 episode i will be rewatching like eight times before next tuesday.

#Pjo #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #Annabeth chase #the lightning thief #Grover underwood #percy jackson spoilers

[essentiallychaotic]

catch me psspspspspsspssing for my will to do things i enjoy after a depressive spiral

#the brain is basically a cat right #it has not been working tho so maybe the brain is not a cat #fun fact: it is incredibley difficult to walk yourself back from being triggered while working in a place that is an active-almost-trigger #actual convo in the community i work in ‘is teaching a child about gender expression and the ability to choose their gender (with childrens #books that are designed to start this convo in a child appropriate manner) possibly child abuse?’ like #….. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck #i cant get past this its just like oh riiiiight i remember now #yall are spewing the same shit that made me hate myself as a queer kiddo! so fun! i had almost forgotten exactly why i spent decades hating #myself and never thinking i could be good or good enough and now my head is just screaming all the time #and the kids dad is a trans man like no its actually super logical to have this convo bc then maybe the kiddo will understand his dad better #like fucks sake people yall are actively spewing bile that teaches children to hate themselves and that if they make it to adulthood they #will spend fucking YEARS recovering from (case in point: meᵗᵐ) and like thats fiiiine thats so okay we can just fuck up all queer kids #around us and in the community no problem #but heaven forbiiiiid someone talk about gender and the ability to choose ones own gender with a child like i mean my god!! that child #might grow up knowing they are loved regardless of who they are and maybe even!! (horror of horrors) have a healthy relationship with #themselves and their gender and sexuality and they might even be happy!! #aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #i like the job but the fucking community is so bad for me yall its so fucking bad for me