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#and told me she wanted to take a look
beeduoo · 13 days
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wonderful
#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭#ctubbo#michael beloved#ctubbo fanart#Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this#so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her#stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w#hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY#BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS#So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi#ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i#RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!!#I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening#IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever#I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it#lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss....#I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt#too dead to do al that...#Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye
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oatbugs · 2 months
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my research partner and i are huddled in a blanket in paddington waiting for a too-late train i already miss you and you and you
#he keeps falling asleep almost on my shoulder and waking up and readjusting but i want to tell him its ok weve seen a lot#of each other ive seen your brainwaves you called me crying a few nights ago. research partner right now is a potentiality#friend is a certainty. i met a banker passionate about finance. he said his advice made the lives of others better and he likes the numbers#more than he likes anything else. on a high rise near canary wharf the view was wonderful and the people even moreso#he said i loved her but i spent 33 grand on her and i cant do this anymore. his voice cracked talking about her. he did love her.#and she talked softly she grabbed my hand she bought me a pack of Marlborough gold she told me to snap#the russian menthol cigarettes of the tortured polish man near us with my teeth i kept staring at her teeth#bright white and sharp. i couldnt find her heartbeat but i did find warmth and i did find her lips and i did feel#how she felt pressed against a wall. a pretty boy held my hand and i gave him my number. i couldnt stop smiling about her no matter#how many runways youve walked on how many collections youve designed how many students youve taught. senior lecturer teaches me how to do#very unethical things ethically over a double shot of vodka made by the half-persian with broken farsi. she talks softly#and she says her eyes are hazel but they appear a shade of red. pure gold on her hands and leather on her back and her fingers on my lips#(she talks softly sees through me she says something i cant hear but i wont forget the way she flies) she talked to my research partner#about the possibility of moving to sunny dubai with the rest of her family and my heart felt pierced. on her arm i traces a tattoo of a#knife passing through a rose. she told me she thought there was romance in severing so i kissed her some more.#he sat me down and asked me what i loved and i told him and he said no romance no person no tragedy will take that from you.#the room was filled with a collection of people in love with something that wasnt a person and i kept looking at her.#red eyes bitten jawline beautiful hands. it is 3 degrees Celsius my head is on his shoulder i miss my friends#we walked out the lecture hall with arms linked a photo of two years ago and we both said#jesus christ. i miss you all. and i miss logic metatheory lectures. im glad i get to stare at the depth of your eyes#i wish i had met you years ago.#crushposting
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identityquest · 1 month
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lizzie get two wolves 👍
#strato.txt#oil painting#wip#im worried ive unbalanced the composition w the second one on the right tho... its so much closer to the edge#ugh whatever. aunt lizzie is the focus here#i wish i knew what she actually looked like this is just cobbled together from general features of my family#solid build... dark curly hair... bigass ears. she could be one of my cousins. she could be me#ok rq im gonna lay out the story in the tags for anyone who hasnt seen the previous lizzie art#my great-something aunt lizzie was disabled and couldnt walk very well and she died young#she wanted to see the second floor of the farm house real bad but no one ever carried her up there and she died before seeing it#they buried her in a long white dress somewhere down at the creek. we dont know where her graves lost unfortunately#the night she was buried something wearing a white dress walked into the house and up the stairs and disappeared#and sometimes you can hear her down around the creek screaming#somewhere along the line wolves got mixed into the imagery for me#my uncle told me a story about another 'white thing' that was wolfish and would jump on cars#so i just assumed lizzie was a werewolf my whole life#anyways. i think her staying after she died was a manifestation of her desire for autonomy. maybe#maybe if shed had modern accommodations she wouldnt have felt the need to stick around. or maybe she would have idk#either way i think death afforded her control over her own desires in a way she hadnt experienced before#and i think thats why she still hangs around the creek#i hope she would like this. maybe ill take it down there and leave it out for a night when its finished so she can see
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mispatchedgreens · 3 months
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rip esen temur, you would've loved 'all the things she said', tATu (2002)
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steelthroat · 3 months
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Self-taught artist? Went to art school? Why not both?????
Artist who went/is going to art school, but teachers ignored them/are never in class/just care about their favorites so they kind of had to learn things by themself and then go crawling like a worm to the professors and ask "like this?" And they grunt and nod instead of giving constructive criticism.
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cosmicmakos · 2 years
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imagine holding your f/o when they need comfort from their lover (even if they don't make it known and/or try to deny it). they feel safe in your presence and can finally let their walls down and release all of their pent-up emotions while in your embrace.
#my favorite war criminal <3 would sometimes avoid letting herself let her emotions out#half the time its because her mission takes priority and she wants to avoid distractions and the other times she denies she needs it#when she first came back to the citadel after she died and got brought back she shoved all her emotions down when she saw me again#a friend of hers convinced her to go over to me while i was watching skycars go past in the market area#she came up right next to me and said my name quietly to get my attention - all i could do was stare at her confused#she started to stumble out what happened and to tell me everything but she started talking too fast and the tears made it worse#i pulled her close to me and told her it was a story for another time while she mumbled apologies into my neck#she held on to me like i was going to disappear into thin air#during the war she just refuses to give herself a moment's rest since the galaxy is depending on her to save it#she always tells me her emotions can wait and goes off on her next important mission#unless we're all alone between missions she won't let her emotions out as they could compromise the task at hand#if those conditions are met she finally lets her emotions out while i hold her close to me for as long as i can#corporate necromancer has a hard time letting her walls down and at one point it caused an argument between the two of us#she doesn't like/want people to see the vulnerable side of her#she thinks it'll make people think less of her or make her look weaker#she slowly opens up to me and after some time she doesn't keep her walls up around me#its hard for her to admit she wants to be held while she lets her emotions out but one of the times she did was before the o4 relay mission#oops only two characters on this one since i have too many thoughts on this#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o
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solarisgod · 6 months
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It aren’t about anyone here, but while it's already been stated on guideline, to make a personal psa in depth, if we notice the Starwake System and especially Micah are being infantilized / overly sexualized / excessively underestimated, it's a hardblock. A prominent pattern we notice is when most prompts we're given from a mun involves Micah being comforted / assisted, which we personally find it demeaning. Especially as an Asian individual who experiences all of these three aspects in the rpc / on the internet and especially in real life, I'm really not in the mood to let our muses, especially my most beloved Asian OCs, be subjected to such treatments.
With Micah in this case when it comes to infantilization and the underestimating, they are extremely emotional and sensitive as they can be childish and dependent, just as I am too, but no muses should be always babying and underestimating them. Micah is quite powerful and skilled, and they were quite known to be highly aggressive and wrathful when they were younger--- they CAN be so as wrath is actually their biggest vice, believe it or not, it's just they actively choose not to / try not to due to experiences and mindsets while they had gone through sessions with both their personal therapist and alter therapist with Phoebus who helped them find ways to manage their anger issues and intrusive thoughts. There's just so many layers and factors to their "childlike" traits that I can write essays on, but basically, their traumas and lack of certain experiences and treatments and having certain needs make them the way they are. I'd never write characters as silly or childish to poke fun or coddle and people shouldn't either nor narrow characters into one trait because they happen to have foolish or childish traits.
Being small and petite or emotional and gentle, what have you, should not make one a weak person and I really wish more folks can understand that, truly, speaking out for both characters and people.
#𓁹 ༑ ࿐ྂ ⩇⩇ : ⩇⩇ ⚠︎ [ 𝙴𝚇𝙸(𝚂)𝚃 : 𝙶𝙾𝙳 ] * ‹ PSA . ›#[ once more not about any of our current mutuals but it is based on past roleplay experiences with recent irl ones ]#[ got a white man few days ago looking at me funny with a ' you ordered this? ' when I was getting UberEats order from him few days ago ]#[ and was like ' hahah these are heavy be careful ' and pretended to drop the bags of food by quickly lowering 'em down ]#[ when I was going to reach out to take 'em from him ]#[ and my Asian placement colleague on Halloween told me I got ' baby hands ' which is just... well alright ]#[ I punched my phy. and emot. abusive and toxic mom as a self defense in few cases with these hands when she tried to hurt me ]#[ so... ain't so baby ]#[ I'm just exhausted being treated this way and the same with our OCs ; knowing being Asian is a factor to these mindsets and treatments ]#[ my significant beloved is the only person who can baby me as even I wouldn't want our other starmates to treat me that way ]#[ same with Micah being okay with Adoniram and Warlock and their starmates doing so ]#[ when it comes with a lot of build over time on the trust and confidence ]#[ that we're not being taken advantage of and being judged on and being underestimated all at once ]#[ just please be mindful how you're treating and thinking about someone ]#[ anyways yeah I'm just. yeah! this needs to be said. we extremely appreciate the read ; thank you so much ♡ ]
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wizardnuke · 20 days
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gastro appt in t-minus 4 days. this is very good, fucking finally, i am also extremely anxious please listen to me
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8rujaa · 13 days
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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minthara · 26 days
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i saw the apology and i'm not gonna take it after he or his friends called me a terf and complained that i was mean about my ex who physically assaulted me <3 thanks. let's just ignore each other until eternity. don't take inspiration from my gifs
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engagemythrusters · 11 months
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1000% true reason Ezra's hair got short for s3 is bc Chopper Base is a warmer climate than Lothal and Ezra's got that nice thick hair yknow so time to give himself an edgy teen undercut (or whatever emo vibe he's going for that reduces hair on his head) to get his scalp to breathe. and so he has sabine come do it. but sabine is a perfectionist and, more importnatly, an older sibling. so she messes up once and goes "fuck" and then shaves him bald and tells him to come back in 6 months to try again
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oatbugs · 4 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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#these past two weeks have been so intense that ive just.. not spoken about it once i got home from work#blocked it all out#my beloved colleague whose desk is next to mine has cancer#breast and uterus. she needs two major surgeries#they just diagnosed her two weeks ago#so we've been trying to deal with that as colleagues and friends#because we love and miss her and i am so deeply sad as well#but i feel like i couldn't process that at all bc two days after the news of her diagnosis i was asked to take on half of her work#on top of my fulltime#which i agreed to do bc i like her tasks and i want to help her and i also know i can do it#but it does feel very off bc i know i don't earn enough money for this workload to be long term and it is def like this#for the coming four months at least#so i did tell my manager that i would like a raise and. that bitch told me to BUY MORE SECOND HAND SHIT.#i seriously thought i saw my life flash before my eyes#then the day after she asked one of my colleagues who's been with the firm for over 30 years whether she was looking for another job maybe?#which caused that colleague to instantly go home in tears and be home from basically a nervous breakdown the past 1.5 week#which is her full right and i support her with all my heart but bc my management sucks it meant that we had to also carry her tasks ofc#i felt soooo spread thin and super super angry actually but i didn't even realise how angry i was until last thursday my colleague w cancer#came by the office. and talked about all of it. and i suddenly realised how sad i was but then also how angry#but i was just blocking it all out trying to stay afloat#bc we told her about what the manager had said and she said “i hope that i get the chance to really tell her how it is someday.”#“because the stress she causes with people can actually kill you. just look at me.”#and the rest of the day i felt so ready to be done with everything actually#but seeing her anger made me see my own anger#and released me of my own pent up emotions bc i had actual leg pains this week and it was purely psychosomatic#i then managed to tell some friends yesterday about what was going on and their outrage spurred me on even more#so today i emailed hr. demanding a raise#doing this amount of work while constantly feeling like the house is on fire while also struggling financially seriously makes me suicidal#and i am not joking#so.. if nothing comes of that im leaving that job and not looking back
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honesttoglob · 3 months
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I feel like Steve and Frances would be friends. Just like,,,, buds. Pals. They meet to play chess out in Central Park every weekend and Steve wins most of the time but it's only because he eats Frances' pieces when she isn't looking and she's way too high to keep track of his strategy.
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no-light-left-on · 9 months
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hot take but taking every hearsay or rumor or book in a fictional universe for fact is bad understanding of the world as the story presents it, actually
#li.txt#this is both about dishonored and elder scrolls#propaganda exists! artistic interpretation exists! lie exist! people make shit up!#you cant take anything literally unless youre seeing it for yourself imo#if someone is telling you a story about their life they might omit information or make themselves look better! thats how people work!#or if you hear idk some musicians singing in the streets about an ancient myth from 4k years ago maybe dont take it for fact#this is a direct callout to people shitting on born in the month of darkness#if anything they were trying to make the outsider sound like a pathetic wet cat in need of a warm blanket and food. a poor meow meow#unless stuff is confirmed by the characters themselves Im not gonna believe it fully#the books are also often just. not true. theyre scientific speculation Just Like Real Life#or full on propaganda. just like - you guessed it - real life!#the best example that I can think of is how theres two books on the war of betony island in daggerfall. political!! propaganda!!!#not to mention: people will deceive you on purpose! omit details or full on Lie in your face#like Im sure theres stuff we completely misunderstood cause the one thing we were told about it was by someone bullshitting#like with delilah talking about her tragic backstory. like dont get me wrong I 100% believe that it all happened#but also I doubt she was as pitiful and that the Very Quick Summary was all there is to it#I should probably specify that if youre down to believing absolutely everything when there isnt any other sources thats fine#esp if you want to believe it for the reasons of Oh This Is Cool#like people absolutely eating up the angsty backstory for the outsider (me included cause yes. angst.)#have fun with all that#this is mostly about all the people throwing a temper tantrum online about disliking something about canon#'why do the musicians know the backstory why cant they leave anything vague anymore:/' theyre artists melinda its their job ur doing the sam#unless this was confirmed by the outsider in the books idk I cant find those damn things#if something is Stated by a Character or Written in a Novel that is in the world theres always some doubt#like I genuinely doubt that the events of Young Prince of Tyvia happened the way they do in the books#so like yknow. if you hate stuff so much just. ignore the canon established by literal in-game fiction
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strawberry-cowmilk · 3 months
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I had one of my most insane work experiences today and now I'm sure nobody in retail is safe from the rude 9-12 year old kids not just employees of stores like sephora
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