#and thus potentially getting blocked by blogs‚ and as a consequence not getting to see many posts I would love | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daylicate · 4 years

Text

Please read this with an open mind and heart. I want nothing but for you all to experience eternal love.

He who has ears to hear, let him hear. | Matthew 11:15

“Psy-Group offered its avatars for influence campaigns, boasting that they could plant the seeds of thought in people.” - Article by Ronan Farrow on how psyops work. I think it’s important to read this because it can help you to understand how celebrity/political platforms (of BOTH parties) can potentially be a part of this type of system (knowingly or unknowingly).

This is going to be a harsh reality for the entire swiftie community, but I need to get this out there. As someone who woke up every single day for a year wondering what Taylor and other celebrities were up to, I’m here to warn you guys how detrimental stan culture, idolization and gossip are to your psyche. You are not free if you wake up every day wondering what is going on in someone else’s life - I repeat, YOU are NOT free. You become enslaved to your devices, post notifications, certain blogs and solving hidden easter eggs, thus making Taylor your personal savior. You are chained to a story that you don’t even know the full truth of. You sit here waiting for a coming out, and if it does ever happen, I promise you it’s not going to bring you the fulfillment you truly need. She’s a mirrorball trying to please everyone, and it keeps you wanting to follow her and buy her music. This is how the music industry operates through Taylor’s gift, and it can become extremely unhealthy if a fan decides to dive deep into her life and career. You become dependent on her to bring you happiness, acceptance, love, truth, and more, when you should be dependent on God to bring you this. He loves you and desperately wants you to come home!

The hours I spent dissecting music videos and reading blind items I could’ve been gardening, working on my own craft, cooking, cleaning, dancing, studying, reading, hiking, and so much more. That is true freedom! It’s living in the present and noticing the beauty of your surroundings. I’m grateful for the time I had on here because it lead me to realize that the media is very deceptive, so my quest for truth began. The answer threw me for a loop, because 6 months ago I would have been the LAST person to talk about God/Jesus. When my mom would bring it up in the past, my body would physically reject her and my thoughts immediately turned hateful, like my mind would be begging her to stop talking. Talking about God use to trigger me, but now I can freely speak about Him with such peace and clarity.

The devil is real, guys. Most evil masquerades as light, promising your true personal desires. I mean, how else would you deceive masses of people into darkness? Through false light. He’s messing with this fandom so much and it breaks my heart seeing how obsessed he’s made us with celebrities. They can’t fill the emptiness within you, only Jesus can do that. When Adam and Eve chose to rebel, one of the main internal consequences of this was being separated from God. Only when people are walking in union with God do they find their meaning and purpose in being alive, because God created us to have a purpose. How many of you are depressed? Have been suicidal? Have body image issues? Are insecure? It’s because you have a veil blocking you from seeing the beauty in God’s creation that is you. You need to let go of whatever deception is holding you back. Die to it and be made new - it’s a truly beautiful, eye-opening metamorphosis.

As people grow, they seek meaning from money, pleasure, status, mysticism, religion, self-actualization, and anything else from which they think they might find fulfillment. Guys, we suffer from an identity crisis! My identity is no longer in Taylor, my sexuality, politics or whatever this musty world has to offer. My identity is in Christ alone, because Jesus is the only one who can save you from death. I’ve experienced healing from depression, anxiety and fear firsthand, so please don’t try to view me as some nut forcing religion down your throat. Sure, I still have some off days, but they pale in comparison to how I used to feel. I’m filled with so much joy and freedom now, and this is a feeling I want everyone to experience!

God doesn’t care for religion, all He wants is a relationship with you through His word. He wants to give you wisdom and understanding of how this world really operates, but you have to repent (turn away from you old life) and follow Jesus to get there. We are all imperfect and in need of a savior; humbly acknowledge it. Ask God to reveal Himself to you. Listen and stay present in your surroundings. Think of memories in your past that stick out to you, because they can help reveal your purpose. God has you remember certain things for a reason, mainly so that it can lead you back to Him.

Again, I am not here to paint Taylor as some kind of maniacal mastermind, so please don’t think I am hating on her because I’m not. How she cares for her fans, friends and family reveal a character most people need to adopt. I care for her and pray for her daily, but knowing what I know now, I can’t justify watching this intense idolization from her fans go by anymore. You’re stuck in a trance and aren’t even aware of it - trust me, I know from firsthand experience. Listen to the words of this old Christmas song she self-wrote about Jesus years back.

I want nothing but the best for you. I hope whoever reads this knows my intentions come from a place of love.

Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. | Colossians 3:5

Formerly, when you did not know God, you were slaves to those who by nature are not gods. | Galatians 4:8

This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners” - and I am the worst of them. But I received mercy for this reason, so that in me, the worst of them, Christ Jesus might demonstrate his extraordinary patience as an example to those who would believe in him for eternal life. | Timothy 1:15-16

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! | 2 Corinthians 5:17

#taylor swift #swiftie #jaylor #toe #kaylor #gaylor

19 notes · View notes

shiigetsu · 4 years

Text

𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑, 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃. 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃. INDIE/PRI/SEL/OC/DUPLICATE AND CROSSOVER FRIENDLY WITH CANON DIVERGENT INJECTIONS LORD SESSHŌMARU of the INUYASHA/FEUDAL FAIRYTALE franchise / as told by osiris. THIS IS AN ANTI HATE/THEFT/DRAMA ZONE! I'VE NOT THE PATIENCE TO DEAL WITH IGNORANCE, CONSIDER THIS YOUR FIRST AND FINAL WARNING!

this blog does not adhere to yashahime: princess half demon canon.

o1. following and interacting; i absolutely welcome crossovers and heavily encourage them however i might prioritize canon interactions. given the impossibility to interact with everyone in existence i generally do not strictly follow-for-follow. in effort to maintain a clean and focused dash i primarily follow/follow back those whom i intend to interact with or see a great possibility in doing so.

o2. nsfw/blog content/shipping; i am of age and so is sesshomaru. as a preference i do prefer darker themes myself however i will never impose my preferences on others nor will i attempt any sort of interaction that makes others uncomfortable.

* on terms of shipping you will attempt to do such with this one on the bounds of chemistry and character building or none such will come of it at all. * considering sesshomaru and his given stance with others is not exactly likable by any means and his innately wary/hateful stance towards humans as a whole is something he is working through do not expect him to fall in love with you. at least not immediately. * sesshomaru is an incredibly tough partner. as such any ship with him regardless of development or plotting will be difficult. should you wish for something wholesome and worthwhile aim for longevity. i promise genuine effort is met with reward. smut will only happen with established ship/partners. no exceptions.. * we must be developed/established shipping partners before i will even consider this. if first time ruts and/or casual flings are what you seek here then this is not the place for you. shipping will only be considered with prior established interactions and ooc interaction. i wish to know the person behind the muse i am to potentially be shipping with and so should you. this blog is multi ship and every ship will take place within it's own individual verse so as to prevent ship crossing and alluding to the unfairness of others. no ship takes precedence over others, they are all considered of equal importance and will be treated as such.

i absolutely will not smut with minors. pedophilia, noncon/rape and/or intimate relations with minors is intolerable. ships with minors/muses who are minors are not accepted. instances of any such content will result in a block and report on sight. do not test me. given their prior relations and the controversy vs age gap with sesshomaru and rin i do not ship sesshrin romantically. thus, he will treat her as an adoptive daughter.

o3. replies/ooc; whatsoever i post shall come on my own time. i have a strict and demanding lifestyle outside of the internet and thus i am not on tumblr every day. a majority of the time my blog will always run on queue to keep activity fairly consistent. i will space my posts accordingly so you might only see one to two replies every other day. do not hassle me for replies, expect me to reply simply because you see me on or guilt me. if i’ve taken longer than week to get back to you then you are privy to nudging me. if you insist on reaching me quicker my dms are always open and i am more than happy to provide my discord for further offsite plotting, ooc banter or offsite roleplaying as well. do not abuse this.

o4. please do; plot with me! consult with me in dms! send random asks! tag me in all the things! feel free to turn asks into threads! memes in my meme dump are always open.

o5. please don’t; god mod or metagame! have your character assume or know specific things about mine that they simply shouldn’t unless specified in canon material! reblog any rp posts that do not pertain to you! steal my headcanons! start drama! harass others! should you prove to be problematic or toxic in any way i will cut you out without warning.

on another note -- i do not send passwords but i make it a habit to read about/rules before i so much as follow/follow back. disclaimer wise i do not own sesshomaru or inuyasha/anything in direct relation. i do own my particular rendition and headcanons/meta of sesshomaru however so in this i will not ask that you do not steal; i will simply tell you not to do so. respect others if you wish to garner the same respect. all graphics and written meta on this blog specifically belong to me. if i see any such instance of theft ( not including my own material but from others as well ) this will also result in an immediate block. i have no patience for stupidity resulting in the immediate lack of common sense. be wise.

in closing, please keep in mind that sesshomaru is first considered an antagonist turned anti-hero. he is neither the most approchable or tolerable. that said his persona and morales/compass do not reflect upon my own. his character is a foundry of possible triggers that may include and are not entirely limited to: violence/gore/abuse/torture and sensitive material pertaining to war. if you have any concerns be up front about them. in terms of portrayal sesshomaru will take bits from japanese culture/historia and the chinese philosopher lao-tzu as well as my own individual take on his abilities. do remember he remains at all powerful large and wandering unless verse specified. do not provoke or tempt his ire unless you are fully prepared to suffer the consequences. he is prone to killing should your muse prove an intentional nuisance or intend to stand in his way by any means. in the event he intends to kill your muse/your muse wishes to combat/attempt to kill him i ask that we discuss it first. he will not hold back nor will i hold him back as a character. thank you for reading! let’s have fun, shall we?

discord available to mutuals upon request!

#( *𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓; ) / blog psa && pinned.#;readme.

10 notes · View notes

the-cookie-of-doom · 4 years

Note

Hi! Can I be nosey? I saw your post on outlining Liar, Liar, Foxfire, could you explain your process a little more? Especially the EVEN DUMBER VERSION? Please and thank you and love your blog! Especially the little snippets of what you're working on!

Dear nonny you can always be nosy, I love it <3

I usually put the Title: DUMBEST VERSION at the top of my docs to remind myself that it’s the first draft and it doesn’t have to be perfect. It started out as a joke with Estranged back in the end of 2018 I think, when I started the fic. Then it kind of became a thing between myself and my then beta (she thought it was cute lol) I don’t really use it for its intended purpose, since I heavily edit as I write. You’re not technically supposed to do that, but I can’t write any other way if my work is unsatisfactory; it seriously kills my motivation when I know I can do better.

Which is where the EVEN DUMBER VERSION comes in! I’ve never used that one before this, I was just frustrated because I couldn’t get my plot to work in a way that I liked lol, so I decided to go through and outline literally every scene in season 3b. (Essentially: 3b for Dummies.)

In the case of this fic, I didn’t actually use an outlining method, really, and I usually don’t. I’m notoriously bad at outlines, and any time I’ve had to do them for school, I would write the project first, then write the outline based on that. The few times I do use an outline, I typically end up veering very far off track.

So what I initially ended up doing here was sitting down with a notebook and rewatching 3b, writing down the general ideas of each scene. Mostly I intended to use it just to jog my memory while I wrote the fic. It... did not work out that way.

After struggling for a few days, I decided to type everything up into a document, splitting each section by episode. I didn’t have every scene detailed, since it wasn’t an outline for the show itself, just for the main context I needed for my fic.

Then I used the blue text for the changes I intended to make/scenes I wanted to add. That way I had a visual representation of what was my original work, and what was the canon framework, which is what I was struggling with the most. It’s difficult for me to work within the constraints of canon like that, which I why I don’t write “missing scene” fics. (RIP)

At that point, it was a matter of adding in the scenes I knew I wanted, and then fleshing out some more where I felt like I needed more original content to balance out the canon. My goal is to have only as much canon context as necessary, because I didn’t want to write out episodes we’ve all already scene.

... And that still didn’t really help. I mean it was super useful in giving me somewhere to start but it wasn’t quite what I needed yet. So I started searching around for the scripts. (Fun fact: i used to be a film major, and I still have a thing for collecting scripts). I found the scripts only up to the end of 3a so that was a bust T_T But then I found the Teenwolfwiki which has scene-by-scene synopsis and it’s amazing. Way more effective than my outline in terms of laying everything out clearly for me.

So now I’ve got my outline as a sort of guide for where my missing scenes fit in, but then I’m going through the wiki to work my way through each episode, and decide which scenes I do/don’t want to keep. Since the fic is about Mitch and Stiles, I’m focusing on scenes with a heavy focus on Stiles and Mitch (who’s Allison’s cousin here, and thus follows the Argent’s storyline). I was also unsure how mush of Malia’s storyline to include, since the person who commissioned the fic didn’t want her in, but also there was some important context she gives to the plot... but then I realized I could just... not write her scenes. That leaves it up to the reader whether that part of canon still happened or not xD (For the record, I like to think it did, but her arc ends after they get her back to her dad, He never sends her to Eichen and that’s the end of her involvement.)

Like I said, I don’t outline very often, if at all, and I tend to get off track when I do (LLF has already changed drastically from the original ideas and outline, and a lot of scenes have been cut), the way I prefer to do it is to write essentially a very long summary. I like to jokingly call them “not-fics” because they can easily end up several thousand words long. It lays out the fic in a shorter retelling, but it’s less structured and leaves me more room for deviation. I usually don’t end up with an actual bullet-pointed outline until I’m pretty far into the fic and need to organize the remaining scenes. Estranged didn’t get an outline until I was...40k into it, maybe? It was a long time.

But if you want an ACTUAL outline method, one I’ve found and liked is the 3 ACT, 9 BLOCK, 27 CHAPTER Method, which somewhat follows the Hero’s Journey, but more in depth::

Act 1

Block 1: Introductions/Inciting Incident/Immediate Fallout (Exposition)

Block 2: Reaction/Action/Consequences

Block 3: Plot Twist/Break into Second Act

Act 2

Block 4: New World/Fun & Games/Old World Juxtaposition (Time for worldbuilding, everything is still fun; Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts)

Block 5: Build Up/Midpoint/Reversal (Growing paints. The character is changing for the better, lots of character development, etc. Pivotal moment)

Block 6: Reaction/Trials/Dedication (Character has potential, but still has work to do. Yennefer during the lightning in a bottle scene.)

Act 3

Block 7: Calm Before the Storm/Plot Twist/Darkest Moment (The whump chapter; Character reaches their breaking point.)

Block 8: Power Within/Action/Converge (Stiles in Ch. 16, to plug my own fic xD)

Block 9: Final Battle/Climax/Resolution

This is a super condensed version, but if you look it up, you’ll be able to see the full explanation on byomentor.com. I found it through Kate Cavanaugh on YouTube in one of her outlining methods videos.

I’m thinking of using this outlining method for this year’s NaNo when I finally, finally write Neverland, but we’ll see. It’s pretty flexible since you don’t have to exactly follow all 27 chapters; you can follow the general vibe and idea of each blog and still have a really sound story, which I like.

Another method I used forever ago for my fic Tree of Life (and I can’t remember the name of the method, but it’s pretty basic) was to have 5 points per chapter:

Inciting Incident

Progressive Complication

Crisis

Climax

Resolution

Now it didn’t work exactly that way because ToL is a pretty drawn out fic, even despite the action, but it’s a good thing to consider. If you have an action heavy or fast-paced chapter (or if a chapter feels slow to you but you don’t know why), it’s a good thing to keep in mind to help speed things up.

But yeah, despite my research in many different outline methods, my favorite is still to write my not-fics and then outline later, if I do at all xD

I hope this was informative! Please feel free to come back if you have any thoughts or questions : 3

#cookie speaks #cookie writes #long post #sorry this got so long...#I haven't really talked to anyone in a while #lol #i like to Talk about my writing/process #it makes me v happy when people are interested in how i do htings

4 notes · View notes

profgandalf · 3 years

Text

Spiritual Health Care Providers Should Be On the Same Level as Physical Health Care Providers

With the coming of Ash Wednesday 2021 at the Retirement Community where my mother lives, no priest, no rabbi, no minister was allowed access to the people who lived there. In fact, spiritual care givers have not been allowed access since the start of the COVID 19 plague shutdowns which began in March 2020. Mom's community, however, is fortunate in that she is an ordained minister of the Church of the Nazarene, and so she accepted the task of holding Ash Wednesday services.

She was able to meet with believers, touching their foreheads with a cotton tip and placing there the ash that reminds believers of their own limited state and God's loving plan for redemption. Please note that although an ordained minister of the Church of the Nazarene, she holds no rank in the hierarchy in the retirement community’s administration and gets no compensation. She does this because she believes in working to meet the spiritual needs of those close to her and actually visited in-person two of her community in their rooms because they were unable attend the services.

At 89--except for vision issues--Mom is wonderfully active. Some online readers may know she's been presenting a Bible Blog on Facebook since the beginning of the epidemic and has held a regular ecumenical Bible Study within the community. Many who attend are Catholics and they appreciate her deeply, but they wish they could see a priest. And mother herself has not seen her own minister in any personal capacity for a year.

Many have noted that one of the unseen consequences of the COVID 19 has been the physical isolation inflicted upon the American population. The additional force of non-touching introduced into our culture have been hard on us all but devastating especially on the elderly who often do not have as much opportunity for touch others without children or in many cases without spouses.

This is not news. We've known for years that one-on-one interaction is vital for health (Why Physical Touch Matters for Your Well-Being). And we are beginning to gain a greater understanding that while the loss of life was tragic, the cost on the nation psychologically was also immense (Health experts on the psychological cost of Covid-19).

So, now that the pandemic seems to be ebbing why write about this? Because a pandemic like this could occur again and because current administrations on both sides of the aisle have not seen that just as medical personal are vital for the ongoing health of a community, so are those charged with spiritual health.

And this problem can only be solved by those in political powers re-calibrating their policies of response. I have noted with concern that the attitude held by many elected officials is that faith is something that one does once in a while. Some leaders do not seem to understand that for many Americans, faith is not just seasonally convenient, it is central to daily living.

People have been dying in hospitals without the ability to see their spiritual health providers. Churches and synagogues have been viewed as potential super spreaders rather than the beacons of hope that they are. Note, I said this was not a Blue or Red issue. A lot of focus has been on the tension in California on this issue because several churches have rebelled. And I've heard a lot about some questionable businesses being allowed to open while houses of worship were forced to remain closed. However, I honestly think this has been caused by a misunderstanding by some in authority about the nature of religion.

Those in authority need to understand that for many attending the means of grace is a necessity, such as getting food and finding health care. And this is, I fear, an alien concept for many, which, In fact, I suspect echoes the perspective of many Americans. Thus, the blocking of access to spiritual workers is based not in malevolence but ignorance. Earlier this year my mother hurt herself with a fall. While in the hospital she asked the head of nursing who was the Chaplin on duty. “There is no Chaplin on duty.” Mom had served both as Chaplin and hospice worker while living in Quincy MA. If there ever is a place where spiritual workers are needed it is in the borderlands of eternity: homes for the elderly and the hospitals.

Elected officials need to consider that ministers, priests, deacons, lay-leaders and other spiritual health workers should be vaccinated as soon as other front-line essential workers and be embedded in locked down medical and senior citizen facilities. Furthermore they need to start viewing houses of worship as vital for their citizens’ health rather than some nice superfluous activity.

For some of us, Hebrews 10:25 is a life principle. "Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near" (CEB). There is encouragement and strength and a supernatural touch available when coming into the celebrating body of Christ. One of the great casualties of COVID 19 has been the loss of this. As I said this is not a Blue or Red issue,

I understand that Massachusetts has decided that Priests and Ministers can now get the virus vaccine so that they can serve their people. So at the time of me writing this, my niece and cousin who are ministers have gotten the shot and can now serve those who need them (yes, yes--a lot of ministers in my family). New Hampshire, where my mother is, has not. My mother has still not been inside a church since the start of the pandemic last March. She awaits her second vaccine. Her assisted living community is fortunate that she is there, but there needs to be a recognition that Spiritual Health Care is as vital as Physical Health Care and those who work in these fields should have access to treatments and opportunities to serve as they, like medical doctors, were called to do.

#Faith in the Pandemic #Priests Doctors Ministers

0 notes

diveronarpg · 4 years

Photo

Congratulations, CHARLIE! You’ve been accepted for the role of CRESSIDA. Admin Rosey: Cressida was one of my favorite characters that I’ve ever written -- a petulant bubblegum princess who is unapologetic about who she is and what she is about, on a perpetual quest to find the love of her life, even at another’s expense. Every single portrayal that I have seen of her has been unique and absolutely mindblowing. I love seeing her come to life and Charlie I am so excited to see your plots for her come to fruition! Welcome back to the gang! We stan growth and pain in this household! Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character

Alias | Charlie

Age | 22

Preferred Pronouns | she/her

Activity Level | 5-6/10. Currently, I only work part-time until fall when I pick up my studies again. However, the past has also shown me that I’m a rather relaxed writer who gets blocked if she feels stressed. Thus, I like to queue my replies and do them whenever I feel motivated. I’m basically around in Discord to plot and chat 24/7, though.

Timezone | CET

In Character

Character | Cressida aka Celeste Duval.

What drew you to this character? | I’ll just boldly assume that most of you recall me writing Celeste for a few months until I decided to leave the rp. While I thought about dipping my toes into a new pond (so to say), explore a new, different story, my fascination with Celeste has never fully gone away. There’s just still so much left to explore in her story, developments she can go through. Not giving her a try again, feels like a premature end, like I didn’t do her proper justice. I’ve also recently read Six of Crows which has increased my muse for Celeste considerably as the character Nina Zenik is just such a great inspiration for Celeste and actually made me realize how much I miss “my” beautiful girl who loves fiercely and bravely as much as she’s unashamed to be her own dramatic self. As silly as it probably sounds, I want to come home to my favorite rp with my favorite character.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character? |

Plot 01: I know, I know, it’s a plot as old as time by now. However, as far as I know the whole Easton plotline has never really had any real consequences for her so far within the game. I want to change that because, after all, the whole thing can only go on so long. I want somebody to get suspicious of her, to confront her with the challenge of having to step up her game to keep the whole blackmail game a secret. Either she manages to get rid of Easton once and for all or she’ll be discovered which could also be very interesting. Because then she’d have to position herself well enough within the ranks of the Montagues to not simply be killed off for treason. Actually, I’d prefer the second option because it’d finally make her realize what she could lose. How important her current position is to her which she’s grown so used to that she doesn’t really value it anymore. All she can see is what she doesn’t have. Even though it might come across a little contradictory to the second plot, in my mind, it isn’t. In my mind, it’d be more a trigger for the second plot to start.

Plot 02: This isn’t her swan song, this is the sound of her wrath coming to everybody who’s ever stepped on or used her. I want her to snap, to finally have enough of being used for nothing but other people’s personal gain. She has a long history in that aspect and although she’s never been satisfied by it, has always known that she’s capable of so much more she’s tolerated it for her family’s sake. She’s married because her parents wanted her to, she’s started working for the Montagues to pay off her family’s debts. She’s allowed Easton to blackmail her to not risk putting the marriage, she’s never wanted in the first place, in danger. She’s done everything she possibly could just to get some of the recognition by her parents she’s been craving for so long. And at some point, she’s finally going to be done with it. She’s going to be done trying to impress people she’ll never be able to impress. She’s going to show everybody that they were wrong by treating her the way they did for such a long time. The last time I played Celeste, I started to put her down the road of starting to harvest her own power. To prove to herself and everybody else that she isn’t just a pawn but somebody with the potential to be powerful. I want her to start making more meaningful alliances around the Montagues, to build connections that could be of personal use to her in the hope of moving up the ranks. Also, I want her to put her on the path of realizing that she doesn’t stay with the Monts because she has to but because she chooses to. Because they’ve become her family, a place where she can grow and flourish.

Plot 03: I want to explore both her relationships with Isabella und Tomas further. The dynamic is quite the intriguing one, after all. Isabella is the love of her life, after all, but right now, Celeste also hasn’t reached the point, where she’d be willing to give up the ideas of what her marriage can do for her, just yet. Not to mention, that I imagine a part of her having grown used to Tomas love. After all, who doesn’t like to be loved and adored? However, I also can’t imagine this whole charade to go on forever. Tomas isn’t stupid, after all. Sooner or later he has to realize that something’s off. At first, she’d definitely fight for her marriage, especially if it should start to crumble at the same time of having her loyalty doubted from the Monts, simply because it’d be the only place where she’d still feel ‘powerful’. I can definitely imagine it to be sort of a cat and mouse game for a while with him doubting her and her trying to prove her faithfulness that never really existed in the first place. Not to mention that the connection Tomas has to Juliana would definitely hurt her ego. Not because she loves him but because the thought of being ‘replaced’ by somebody else, of not being good enough once more, is something she fears. It’s a fear she’s struggled with all her life, after all. However, her heart also craves to be with her lover again, the one person who’s always accepted her the way she is, where she never had to pretend or put on a show. But will Isabella still want her after all the shit Celeste has put her through? Doubtable. It’d actually be quite fun to see to have Celeste be the one doing the courting for the first time in forever, to see what she’d do to earn Isabella back.

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Celeste would either demand a dramatic death that steals everybody’s show or sacrifice herself for somebody she cares about, but yes, either way, I’m comfortable with killing her off.

In Depth

What is your favorite place in Verona? | As simple as the question was, Celeste didn’t know the answer. In fact, all she knew for certain was what definitely wasn’t in line for a possible answer and that would have been her parents’ place, the home she grew up in despite it having been portrayed in interior design magazines more than once. Back at school, the other children had envied her for the breathtaking, magnificent house she was living in, had made countless comments on how amazing it must be to have such a house as your home, but how could a house possibly be a home if it was empty of any love and affection? All that came to her mind when thinking of that bloody damn house was how she was never going to be enough. No, the house was just like her parents, pretty on the outside, but cold and empty on the inside. Her current home most certainly wasn’t among her favorite places (or even remotely close to becoming one) either. Another perfect example of how beauty couldn’t always buy your favor. To her, it was nothing more than a cage, golden, yet a cage nonetheless. She might have grown to like it - after all, Tomas had done his everything to furnish it to her likings - if it wasn’t the home they both shared, if it wasn’t just another reminder of everything that kept her in chains. After a moment and after having brushed a strand of fiery red hair behind her left ear as if this had been all keeping her from replying immediately, she finally responded, her head slightly tilted to the right. “I think my favorite place in all Verona is the restaurant The Two Gentlemen. Have you ever been there?” In feigned interest, her eyebrows rose slightly. “Their risotto al tastatal is to die for.” A soft chuckle followed her words as she gave the interviewer a cheeky, kittenish wink. “And nobody can’t possibly say no to a plate of the best food in the city, am I right?”

What does your typical day look like? | The corners of her plump lips tugging up into a smile, the redhead leaned back a little, finding a more comfortable position on the chair. At least this was an easy question, one she could answer without having to carefully choose every single word. “Most days I get up at around 9am. By that time, Tomas has already left work for in general, but the darling that he is he lets me sleep in, even if that means not being able to have breakfast with his wife”, she flashed an (insincere) ‘isn’t he simply the best man a girl could possibly wish for?’ look at the interviewer. “After getting ready for the day, I’ll enjoy a delicious breakfast that’s already been prepared for me by our house stuff - unlike most Italians I actually prefer a proper breakfast with some seasonal fruits, crepes, ciabatta, and some coffee.” Most days she didn’t eat that much, though, she simply liked having a wide selection to choose from. There was no need for admitting that, however. “The rest of my day is usually open, except for some appointments with various charity organizations and causes I support.” There had been a time when she’d spend the day building a fashion empire, those days were long gone though. She hadn’t been working in the typical sense ever since her marriage, concentrating on indeed supporting charity organizations by throwing events of every sort, and, of course, her work for the Montagues which actually demanded most of her time these days. Being a whore with being blackmailed as a side job was pretty time-consuming, she couldn’t help but notice with some bitterness in her mind. Anyways, after all, it wasn’t as if she could let the interviewer in on that. Celeste flashed her best ‘i know you’d all love to be me’ look at him while casually straightening her dress - not that it really needed any straightening, it was perfect, just the way it was supposed to be.

What has been your biggest mistake thus far? | ‘Being born a girl’ was the response that was on the tip of her tongue as soon as she heard the question. Almost just as quickly, defiance took over her thoughts. There was nothing second-class about being a girl. she’d proven time and time again that she was just as capable and impressive as any son could have ever been. Not that her parents cared either way. All her life, she’d heard that her birth alone was a mistake, maybe even a punishment from God because what else could be the reason for it when they’d done everything in their power to ensure they’d get a boy? There was no certainty when it came to bearing a child - apart from the wonders preimplantation diagnostics could do, obviously, and even then there was no absolute certainty -, but, of course, it was easier to put all the blame on the child instead of accepting that it might not have been in the cards for them to get a little boy. Something they’d made sure to let Celeste now every single day. That it was her fault and her fault alone to have turned out such an utter disappointment, such a failure from the very first breath she took. Despite having tried to prove the opposite all her life - mostly to her parents, but also to herself when defiance yielded to insecurity - it still stuck. No matter if she liked to admit it or not. However, there was no fucking chance that she’d ever say that out loud. Especially not in a situation she could be dead sure that it’d be in tomorrow’s newspaper. Thus, the brunette smiled once more, slightly leaning forward in a casual motion and by doing so revealing a little more of her cleavage to the interviewer. If he was into girls, he was bound to enjoy the view - they all did. On many others, it would have been a noticeable movement, one would have known that the girl was trying to hide something. This wasn’t the case for Celeste, though. After all, she’d spent years perfecting this tactic, a little move into the right angle here, a little wink and touch there, it had taken her years to come close to mastering this art, but that was bound to be good for something, right? And she definitely didn’t want him to pester her further until she gave a response to that question that gave him the juicy story he was most likely looking for. She rested her chin on the back of her hand in the most typical thinking pose the world knew, showing off her freshly manicured fingernails. “I think the decision I regret most, if there even is any, is deciding to put my fashion line on the hold after marrying”, she replied, a thoughtful expression in her eyes before she shrugged slightly, “but then again, I don’t really regret that either. After all, I knew this line would take me frequently on trips all across Europe and how could I bare staying apart from my dear husband for so long?” She feigned a soft, girly giggle. “I guess we’re still acting like newly-weds in some ways.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you? | It was amazing how connected the last two questions were she couldn’t help to realize with some bitterness in her mind. After all, the honest answer to this one was connected to the person who just as well could have posed as the answer to the previous question. In both cases, Isabella Gagliano was involved. One might argue that falling for them could hardly be her biggest mistake for claiming she’d decided to fall for her was claiming the seasons decided to change, that the earth decided to move around the sun. But that was only splitting hairs. Not that it really mattered because there was no possible situation in which she could ever think of her feelings for that gorgeous gift from heaven as a mistake. No matter in what big trouble it got her. And it had indeed gotten her in quite a mess. Even though she’d lived up to the most difficult and painful task she’d ever been faced with. It had been, hands down, leaving them. Of course, it had to be done, there hadn’t been any other way. No matter how tempting it might have been to maintain their relationship on the side, keep them as sort of a mistress when her husband was too busy with work to miss her in his bed. After all, how could she have continued their relationship if the one thing Tomas had asked of her was to be faithful of him? It had broken her heart, no had torn it apart until nobody but them (and maybe not even them) would have been able to put it together again the way it had previously been, but she’d done it nonetheless. Because that was what a good wife, a dutiful daughter, somebody truly worthy of the Duval name did. And she was all of those things. She had to be. Her chin still resting on the back of her hand, the redhead quickly thought of an answer that would satisfy the interviewer without exposing her most vulnerable thoughts. Luckily, she had years of experience thanks to countless galas and press interviews, one of the perfect examples of how practice made perfect (not that being less than perfect had ever been an option for somebody attempting to prove that she was the perfect daughter). “What I’m going to say next, is going to sound incredibly privileged, so I’m begging you not to judge me”, she responded playfully sharing a mischevious, conspiratory smirk with him, “I’m afraid I have to admit I’ve never really been faced with any truly difficult tasks. Most things have been handed on a silver platter to me.” Internally she let out a dry, bitter laugh as couldn’t hardly be further away from the truth. “The burden of being an only child to wealthy parents. I guess my most difficult task is getting dressed each morning and picking out the perfect outfit from the broad collection I’m so incredibly blessed to have.” Those words could have come off as incredibly snobby and spoiled, thanks to her charm she hoped they didn’t however. It was amazing what you could say if you only smiled charmingly enough if you had the right expression in your big doll eyes.

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? If she was completely honest, Celeste couldn’t care less. The Capulets and Montagues could both go to hell for all she cared. After all, none of them had ever really done anything but exploit her. Maybe her hatred for the Capulets was burning brighter at the moment considering the kidnapping they’d recently put her through, considering how they used her even more than the Montagues did. But if it was up to her, both mobs could burn at stake and she’d dance on their ashes with a content smile gracing that famous, rosy lips of hers. Of course, giving an answer that came even remotely close to what was going on in her mind would mean signing her own death warrant. And she had no interest in ending her life just yet (or ever before having truly lived her own life, for that matter). So instead of giving an honest answer, her lips curled up into a charming smile, the sort of smile men fell for as easily as moths were drawn to light. “I’m afraid a young woman like me is hardly capable of giving a qualified answer regarding a complicated matter like this”, she responded, an apologizing expression in her emerald eyes, “after all, how can somebody who grew up as sheltered and privileged as I did really say anything meaningful about that?” Casually she tugged a strand of hair out of her face behind her ear, thus stressing her young, girl like appearance. “If you want to get some qualified insight on the latest Prada collection, I’m your girl, though.”

Extras: I actually came up with a pinterest board and a small playlist for Celeste:

This Is What Makes Us Girls - Lana Del Rey High heels in her hand, swayin’ in the wind while she starts to cry, mascara runnin’ down her little Bambi eyes “Lana, how I hate those guys”.

Human - Christina Perri I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh, I can dance and play the part if that’s what you ask, give you all I am. I can do it.

Chandelier - Sia I’m the one “for a good time call”, phone’s blowin’ up, they’re ringin’ my doorbell. I’m gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Chromatics My mother says, “When you gonna live your life right?”, My father yells, “What you gonna do with your life?”

Unstoppable - Sia All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town. I’ll do it ‘til the sun goes down and all through the night time. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you what you wanna hear. I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am. I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am, I’m unstoppable.

Believer - Imagine Dragons First things first, I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been. Second thing second, don’t you tell me what you think that I can be.

Carmen - Lana Del Rey It’s alarming, honestly, how charming she can be, fooling everyone, telling ‘em she’s having fun.

This Is Me - Keala Settle They say no one’ll love you as you are, but I won’t let them break me down to dust.

#accepted #accepted: cressida

6 notes · View notes

truthinchaos · 5 years

Text

About

Admission

Academics

Programs

Athletics

Parents

Alumni

Giving

News

MY SUMMIT CONTACT PORTAL CALENDAR

This site provides information using PDF, visit this link to download the Adobe Acrobat Reader DC software.

Communications

Home Communications Blog

The science behind Montessori learning materials

Posted October 16, 2017

One of the greatest differences between a Montessori classroom and a traditional one is the materials, or "works," that the students learn to use. Adults and children alike can observe these differences the moment they enter a Montessori classroom at The Summit Country Day School. Rather than scribbling with crayons, a young child might be carefully concentrating on pouring water from a pitcher into a bowl, or be seated on a rug on the floor spelling words with large, tactile letters.

Not only are these materials more engaging and enjoyable for the playful preschooler, but they are carefully designed, specific to the Montessori curriculum. Each material, no matter how seemingly small, playful or mundane, has a specific purpose and learning goal.

The Montessori classrooms at The Summit are replete with Montessori-designed objects and teaching aides: items not typically found in more traditional, non-Montessori classrooms. The professional Montessori faculty at The Summit, led by Director Kathleen Scott, utilize these materials as part of the self-teaching concepts that nurture self-control, concentration, order and independence.

“As Montessorians, we believe children learn to their fullest potential in a peaceful classroom where materials are carefully prepared and presented by highly educated, nurturing professionals who encourage children to learn independently and at their own pace,” Mrs. Scott said. "Our training in the Montessori philosophy allows us to meet the needs of our youngest learners by providing a prepared, language-enriched environment where they are able to practice care of self, care of the environment, exploration of the world around them, as well as gross and fine motor development. The materials facilitate this."

Maria Montessori

One cannot discuss the importance and specificity of Montessori materials without discussing Dr. Montessori herself. Maria Montessori spent countless hours perfecting the nature of these materials through experimentation, observation and careful calculation. These materials have been deliberately constructed and organized in a responsive way.

Dr. Montessori considered the developmental needs of children and specifically created materials that would address those needs. She then watched children interact with these materials and refined them to perfection. These materials were created by Dr. Montessori with a clear intention to foster self-discovery and serve learning goals.

Control of error

“Control of error” is a major component in the materials of a Montessori classroom. This phrase means that, while interacting with a material, a student can observe if they have completed the task correctly. They don’t need a teacher to correct them — the correction is built into the material or work.

"Experiential learning from the materials promotes problem solving and cognitive development," Mrs. Scott said. "This includes noticing that water has been spilled on a table while pouring to having beads left over when counting to 100."

One graphic example of control of error in a Montessori material is the cylinder block. This wooden block has differently sized holes with cylinders that fit into them. It is impossible for a student to fit a cylinder into every hole without matching the sizes correctly. Thus, when a cylinder is “left out,” the student knows they haven’t completed the task. The intention of the activity is obvious and any mistakes will be obvious.

Control of error limits the amount of intervention or intrusion necessary from a teacher. This unique feature of Montessori materials allows students to learn independent problem solving and analytical skills, and increases their confidence and self-esteem.

These materials are built on the idea that children should discover the answers, not be told the answers. That “aha!” moment cultivates a passion for learning that follows the student throughout their life. Psychology pioneer William Kohler referred to it as insight learning – that sudden ‘dawning’ of understanding the problem and arriving at the answer without repeated trial and error.

Full-body learning and sensory engagement

Montessori materials are meant to engage and excite the child on all levels. Dr. Montessori was a firm believer in the connection between learning and movement. She felt that more active, sensory-engaging materials would increase a child’s interest in a task, and therefore their learning. By providing materials that address all of the senses and involve the child’s entire body, the Montessori classroom invites all children to learn.

A Montessori classroom gives students the opportunity to classify, compare and order various materials using all five of their senses. For example, many Montessori preschool classrooms have a set of tubes filled with materials that make different sounds — some soft and some loud. By shaking and exploring the tubes, the student can use their auditory sense to arrange the tubes from loudest to softest.

Variety and fragility

The objects in a Montessori classroom are made of a variety of materials that expose children to different textures and colors. Children have the opportunity to engage with materials made of wood, wicker, fabrics, metals and even glass. The Montessori classroom will also include a number of natural materials like twigs, rocks and leaves.

Montessori learning materials are often fragile, unlike the durable, heavy duty materials that preschoolers are often provided in traditional classrooms. This fragility is an important, intentional quality of these materials: carefulness, for example, is learned when something breaks. Montessori teachers demonstrate thoughtful, appropriate handling of the materials, and the students learn to respect and value their classroom. The pride and joy the students get from interacting with these materials help them to learn independence and responsibility.

While Montessori materials may be more fragile and provide the potential for learning “accidents,” rest assured they are also very safe. All Montessori learning materials are made according federal safety regulations.

Tools that grow with the child

Another highly unique and important quality of Montessori learning materials is that they can be used at all levels of learning. The materials that a child is introduced to in preschool will greet them in every classroom and at every level of learning throughout their Montessori career.

Each material in a Summit Country Day School Montessori classroom presents multiple levels of challenge that can carry through the child’s education as they build on more complex concepts. This feature is well-demonstrated by the concrete “golden beads” material that are used to introduce the decimal system to young children. Single, loose beads represent a value of one and a wire rod holds 10 beads to represent 10. Ten of those rods are wired together in a flat sheet to represent 100 and a cube of these sheets creates a representation of 1,000. Later, this set of materials will be used to perform functions of math such as addition, subtraction, multiplication and division.

The familiarity of these materials not only makes the child comfortable working with them, but it also allows the child to see connections among various concepts of learning and how those concepts build upon each other.

The right materials – at school and home

Because these Montessori learning materials were so diligently perfected by Dr. Montessori, they are integral to the success of the overall Montessori curriculum.

The nature of this material-specific learning means that it is easy to continue a child’s education at home. Filling your home with the Montessori materials expands a student’s learning opportunities and helps them advance concepts in the two central environments of their life: home and school. There are a variety of online resources for purchasing Montessori materials to enrich your child’s home learning environment.

The importance of Montessori materials

The Montessori classroom is a holistic place that is designed specifically for serving and addressing a child’s learning needs. The materials a child encounters in their classroom will excite them, teach them independence and responsibility and help them build complex ideas upon simpler ones. The Montessori curriculum here at The Summit Country Day School would certainly not be possible without these uniquely designed materials.

About Kathy Scott:

Kathy Scott is the Director of the Montessori Program at The Summit Country Day School in Cincinnati, Ohio. The program is one of a few in Greater Cincinnati applying the Montessori philosophy to children as young as 18 months. Mrs. Scott has a Master of Education in Early Childhood with Montessori three-to-six certification through Xavier University and a Bachelor of Science in Nursing from Webster University in St. Louis. Mrs. Scott can be reached at [email protected].

LEARN MORE:

Free workshop: Summit Montessori teachers Karen Koch, Amie Adkins and Lauren Guip will present "The Montessori Environment in the Classroom and in the Home" on Saturday, Oct. 28 at the Early Childhood Education Symposium.

Meet the director: Montessori Director Kathy Scott will discuss the effect that extended playtime on a phone, iPad or other electronic devices has on a child's brain in her talk, "Screen Time vs. Free Time," at the Early Childhood Education Symposium on Saturday, Oct. 28.

Free Parenting Guides

Previous Blogs

Pause for Parenting: The truth about consequences

High Interest Books to Motivate Young Readers

Develop learning activities that are fun to counteract 'summer slide'

How preschoolers benefit from early exposure to foreign language

Navigating Childhood Anxiety: 5 Tips for Parents

How to use music to prepare your preschooler

What is the most important thing to teach your children?

Why unstructured play for your young child is important

Welcoming mistakes promotes innovative thinking and creativity

Montessori Program

(18 months-K)

Lower School

(Grades 1-4)

Middle School

(Grades 5-8)

Upper School

(Grades 9-12)

CONNECT WITH THE SUMMIT

EDUCATING LEADERS OF CHARACTER SINCE 1890

Select Language▼

The Summit Country Day School

2161 Grandin Road

Cincinnati, OH 45208

(513) 871-4700

Request Information | Site Map

Non-Discrimination Notice

1 note · View note

aegor-bamfsteel · 6 years

Note

What do you think of Eustace Osgrey?

You like potentially getting me in trouble with the Fandom, don’t you? I saw a certain post on your side-blog ranting about how terrible Eustace Osgrey is because he declared his support for Daemon Blackfyre in a drunken rant despite having some more materialistic motives. I tried to resist the call of the Wank, but alas, ‘twas too strong for me when I realized exactly what was being said and who was doing the saying. Ser Bamfsteel of House Moron, words Here We Wank.

The condemnation of Eustace Osgrey by one part of the fandom reminds me of the condemnation of Randyll Tarly by (what I’ve come to increasingly realize is the same) part of the fandom. What they don’t seem to get is that a character can be proud, uncaring of smallfolk, ambitious, hold conservative views on women and be suspicious of foreigners, but it still doesn’t excuse the Targaryens committing human rights violations against them. But Osgrey didn’t pull half of the shit Old Tarly did, and we’ve seen Bl00draven’s tyranny and Da3ron’s harsh terms have far-reaching consequences.

Seriously. I don’t think that any fan who likes Blackfyres believes that Eustace Osgrey was a perfect angel. I mean, he thought about burning a mill just to harm Lady Rohanne’s smallfolk in response to her men damming the Chequy Water. Didn’t actually do it, but it paints a picture of a proud man who would resort to hurting common people over a feud. I also don’t think he knew Daemon Blackfyre particularly well; his heart wrenching description of Daemon and his sons’ deaths made me tear up the first time I read it, but he doesn’t give us much about Daemon’s personality. He says that Daemon was brilliant with all kinds of weapons, surrounded himself with fellow warriors, wasn’t exceptionally religious, and was brave and honorable in battle, but did he ever have a conversation with his king? Get to know his policies and other opinions? We know that Alyn Cockshaw played with the Blackfyre children; did any of Eustace’s sons do the same? We don’t know, but I doubt it. We know from GRRM himself in an SSM and other canon pieces (The Mystery Knight, A Feast for Crows, The World of Ice and Fire) that a wide variety of men and women from all classes flocked to Daemon (even the Dornish Yronwoods were one of his most loyal allies) and his own wife was a foreign woman who provided a home for the exiles, so Osgrey's perception of Daemon doesn’t seem to be entirely accurate. It seems more based on Eustace’s own views of what makes a good king, and Daemon certainly fit the bill better than Da3ron.

Eustace Osgrey believed, as I’m sure Daemon Blackfyre did, that Da3ron was not the son of Aegon IV (he also seemed pretty ignorant about what kind of character Aegon IV was, but I digress). He was a minor lord/landed knight who disliked the new ethos of Da3ron’s court, but since that court was heavy on sycophants and nepotism (and, though the Great Fandom Minds™ would shout me down, intellectual as well as social elitism. Seriously, Da3ron in all likelihood thought those “dumb jocks” didn’t have an opinion worth listening to, which is why he refused to even attempt to understand their grievances. Great way to unite the realm), I can’t really fault him for that. The cause for which he and his young sons were fighting, from his point of view, was legally and morally just. That he also wanted control of Coldmoat after Maegor had unjustly taken it away from his family is certainly more mercenary, but seems rather ancillary in the face of the loss of his children.

And that’s what seems to be what Fandom is forgetting. Eustace Osgrey is a character for whom I pity, because despite his negative qualities, he shows the effects of the harsh treatment that the Blacks suffered at the hands of the Reds. The reason why he mourned the Blackfyre cause so much isn’t because he’s an ambitious jerk who wants another holdfast, but because all four of his young children died as a direct effect of his support of Daemon and he wants their deaths to mean something. Unlike Randyll Tarly, he seemed to be a loving father to all of his children. He told Dunk that he wished that his daughter Alysanne had married a man like him (and Dunk only a hedge knight! So I guess Osgrey doesn’t care about the circumstances in which a man was born, and esteems Dunk’s humility and honor); Da3ron had taken her hostage in King’s Landing, forced her to become a septa, she died at age 13 of the Great Sickness without any attempt to evacuate her or the other hostage children, and Bl00draven had burned her body leaving her father nothing to remember her by (Addam at least got a gravestone). If that had been your daughter and only child left to you after Redgrass Field, would you be angry at those responsible and never support them as long as you live? Da3ron and Bl00draven certainly didn’t help matters by forbidding people to sing about the Blackfyre heroes (a violation of freedom of speech) or criticize their regime, essentially ensuring that the old grievances were never healed. Remember how Aegon III said there were no more Blacks or Greens, but they were all one people? I guess Kind™ Da3ron II had less emotional maturity than a traumatized 13-year-old, because his punishments gave the Black supporters a very personal reason to fight against his family. Knowing the names of the capable knights who’d fought for Daemon, whispering their forbidden songs as the Reds sang “The Hammer and the Anvil” about how your family members died, became a rallying cry for a second rebellion. It’s heartbreaking how Osgrey says that the sunset over Redgrass was beautiful and he wished his sons were alive to see it, because he’d lost so much that day that nothing but a sunset was left for him to enjoy. I guess I understand why he would be so bitter toward his Red-supporting neighbor, who had (in his eyes) lost nothing and no one, after the ruin of his family.

Now, a more personal wank about this post on your blog that I’m sure triggered this ask: thank you for actually not linking me to the post, as I’ve blocked both of these users for mental health reasons (not to mention the latter of the two being a horrible person who supports a sexual abuse apologist and who apparently also stereotypes Judaism as a merciless religion). Of course, being the Great Fandom Minds™ that they are, they wondered just how anyone in the fandom could dare to agree with Eustace Osgrey and, by extension, disagree with them. These are the same people who defend Bl00draven for murdering Aenys Blackfyre by treachery; once again, to a certain part of the fandom, what the Blacks say is judged much more harshly than what the Reds have actually done, because the Reds were True Targs and thus so pure and speshul. Let me repeat that these users weren’t attacking a character, but attacking real people for having an opinion that they happened to disagree with. I wish fellow fandom blogs didn’t feel the need to give their words so much weight just because they’re more popular, since they seriously need to grow the fuck up.

#ask #asoiaf #eustace osgrey #dunk and egg #asoiaf meta #anti targaryen #anti bloodraven #anti daeron ii #first blackfyre rebellion #fandom critical

17 notes · View notes

brittanyyoungblog · 3 years

Text

Why People Have Sex With Their Exes—And How It Makes Them Feel

When a couple decides to end a relationship, the result isn’t always a clean break. There’s often some degree of contact that continues and, sometimes, that includes sex. But who has sex with an ex—and why? And are the answers to these questions similar or different for men and women?

A recent set of studies published in the journal Evolutionary Psychology offers a fascinating glimpse into the world of breakup sex.

In the first study, researchers recruited 212 college students (average age of 21, most of whom were White and heterosexual) who had engaged in breakup sex before, defined specifically as “sexual intercourse with an ex-romantic partner with whom the individual was in a long-term committed relationship, with this sexual activity occurring within 2 weeks of the termination of the relationship.”

Why focus only on sex that occurs within two weeks of breakup? Because research shows that sadness typically reaches its peak two weeks after a breakup and starts to decline around 4 weeks. Four weeks post-breakup is also when people tend to have sex with a new partner on average. In light of this, the researchers wanted to look at sex with an ex at a time before emotional distress was highest (to ensure that sadness wasn’t the primary motivator) and also before they’ve likely had sex with anyone else.

Participants were asked a series of questions about the most recent time they had breakup sex, as well as how they think they would feel about having breakup sex in the future.

Generally speaking, men reported more openness to having breakup sex than women. Regardless of who broke up with whom or how attractive one’s ex was, men reported more willingness.

However, men and women did not differ in their openness to breakup sex when they still loved their partner—in that case, men and women were equally (and highly) likely to say they would have breakup sex. Likewise, there was no gender difference when it came to using breakup sex as a tool to show an ex what they were missing out on.

Compared to women, men reported more willingness to try new sexual behaviors—things they would not normally engage in—during breakup sex, perhaps as a way of demonstrating their sexual value or getting their partner back. Alternatively, perhaps they see it as an opportunity to explore fantasies and desires with a comfortable partner without fear of judgment or concern about how it would affect the relationship.

Compared to men, women reported anticipating more negative feelings about having breakup sex in the future, and they reported less positive feelings about the last time they had breakup sex. This suggests that women are more likely to regret breakup sex than men, which is consistent with previous research finding that women are more likely than men to regret their sexual actions.

In the second study, researchers recruited 92 college students and asked them to come up with a list of all of the possible reasons why they or someone they know has had breakup sex in the past.

In total, 292 reasons emerged; however, after combining similar responses, the researchers came up with a set of 52 distinct reasons for breakup sex that included: sex is fun, missing sex, wanting to get back together, missing one’s partner, feeling lonely, still having feelings, and being bored.

Researchers then recruited a separate group of 585 participants online (average age of 32, predominately White, all heterosexual). They were given the list of 52 reasons for breakup sex and were asked to report how often they had breakup sex for each reason in the past. If they’d never had breakup sex, they were asked to report how likely they would be to have breakup sex in the future for each reason.

What they found was that participants’ responses statistically clustered into three distinct groups:

· Relationship maintenance motives: these were reasons that centered around the emotional elements of breakup sex, such as being in love or still having feelings, longing for or missing one’s partner, being lonely, and wanting attention or to feel better.

· Hedonistic motives: these were reasons that centered around the enjoyable and physical elements of breakup sex, such as having a fun or exciting experience, relieving sexual tension, satisfying needs, and having a partner you’re comfortable with.

· Ambivalent feelings: these were reasons that centered around dealing with unresolved emotions, moving on, and/or using sex as a means to an end. This included wanting to have “hate sex,” trying to get over one’s ex, wanting to regain power or feel confident, and coping with stress.

Beyond these three main motives, there were a few that didn’t seem to fit anywhere, such as being drunk, wanting to say a “final goodbye,” and not seeing any better options.

In terms of gender differences, men were more likely to say they’d had breakup sex for hedonistic and ambivalent motives. However, there were no gender differences in having breakup sex for relationship maintenance motives.

It is important to note that these findings do not tell us how common breakup sex actually is, and they don’t come from a representative sample of the population. Thus, it is possible that people might engage in breakup sex for other reasons, and that the most common reasons might vary across different groups of persons.

That said, these results tell us that breakup sex is a complicated phenomenon. People might have sex with an ex shortly after breaking up for a wide range of reasons. However, there do seem to be some gender differences in willingness to have breakup sex, one’s motivations for pursuing it, as well as how one feels afterwards.

The fact that women tend to not feel as good about their breakup sex experiences as men has several potential explanations. For example, it could be function of the sexual double standard, or the idea that women tend to be judged more harshly than men for their sexual behaviors—this may partly explain why women are more likely to regret casual sex in general. Alternatively, some would argue that there could also be an evolutionary explanation: there are more potential reproductive costs for women than men when it comes to having sex outside the context of a committed relationship.

However, it could also be due to the fact that men and women may pursue breakup sex for very different reasons. For example, men’s most common reason for having breakup sex was hedonism—and men reported more hedonistic motives than women. So if men are more likely to be using breakup sex purely for sexual enjoyment, then it’s probably not surprising that they report more positive experiences with it.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook (facebook.com/psychologyofsex), Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit (reddit.com/r/psychologyofsex) to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

To learn more about this research, see: Moran, J. B., Wade, T. J., & Murray, D. R. (2020). The psychology of breakup sex: Exploring the motivational factors and affective consequences of post-breakup sexual activity. Evolutionary Psychology, 18(3), 1474704920936916.

Image Source: 123RF/Wavebreak Media Ltd