#and this kit is just like 'lemme just read up on the history of the world for a bit'

[xkitcharmont]

♛･*˚ INTRODUCING: CROWN PRINCE KIT CHARMONT 💝

inspired  by  :  PRINCE CHARMING, of cinderella — additional : leopold mountbatten ( kate & leopold ), prince kit ( cinderella - 2015 ), prince henry but like more enlightened and not an elitist ( ever after ), princess anneliese ( barbie as princess & the pauper ), the nutcracker/prince eric ( barbie in the nutcracker ), princess ann ( roman holiday ) — can you tell he’s a prince yet — anne lister ( gentleman jack ), sam baldwin ( sleepless in seattle ), aragorn ( lord of the rings ), clark kent ( superman 1978 ), also ig just like tom hanks in rom-coms vibes

full name. christopher reginald lancelot charmont preferred name. kit !!! faceclaim. richard madden dob. 7 may 1986 (taurus) occupation. prince of ulstead (first in line)

!! quick first impression: he is courteous, he is perhaps a little too formal when you first meet him, but it’s all warmth and sincerity. no dry sarcasm here but he does love to crack a joke. perfect posture. very much a prince, through and through. wide, brilliant smile. nice cologne. 😌

physical description.

curly brown hair ; short trimmed beard (soft !!)

5ft 9 ¼ (175.9 cm)

clothing: neat, stylish, tones of gold, green, blue, grey, white. 

( for more information on kit, please also view his full little introduction here ! it’s a more detailed version of the information below :3 )

birthplace. ulstead, france orientation. biromantic, demisexual

song. vienna, by billy joel

You got your passion, you got your pride But don't you know that only fools are satisfied? Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true When will you realize... Vienna waits for you?

> JUST KIT THINGZ  👑

highest level of education. masters in international relations

other skills/training. naval training, equestrian training, military training, an insane knowledge of microsoft and google suite (he is an excel master), also notion pages and every calendar app known to man.

languages spoken.

fluent : english, french, spanish, italian, german, latin, ASL ( french & american )

learning : mandarin, arabic, japanese, russian

hobbies.

sports : fencing, polo, rowing, spelunking, rock-climbing, hiking

fun : baking !!! :3 man loves to bake, and do scrabble, and trivia !!!!, and KARAOKE !!

music : piano, he sings pretty well too smh

kit quirks.

he has SWORDS (but he keeps them at home). 

as a kid, his favourite stories were of pirates.

he sends weekly emails to his brothers called ‘ulstead uppity updates’ (UUU ; the ‘triple U’). these detail everything happening in royal meetings, including minutes, latest decisions, and any proposals the brothers should look over.

he bakes a lot, and is very good at decorating cupcakes and cakes. he likes to bake pies. everything he makes in excess is given to his neighbours, or to passers-by, or to local orphanages and shelters.

his two cats: vienna (the tortoiseshell) and antoinette (a black cat). both of them are rescue cats. 

you’ll see him biking around with a cat backpack on sometimes. if you wave, he’ll ring the little bike bell and smile !!

he likes to listen to music in the open, not through headphones. so he usually only plays it freely in his home. he loves music up to the early 2010s. after that it is a void.

> THE PAST

kit charmont was raised in ulstead, france with his two little brothers (florian & philip), and their mother and father (king hubert)

in his teens: 

kit stayed mainly within ulstead, finishing all his relevant studies. 

not really a party animal, not many close friends, was known as a very polite kid but kind of quiet and kept to himself

literally the one who like stays at home doing homework for the next school year.

smartest kid in school, valedictorian, all of that. started learning languages at this time, president of the academic decathlon, hehe

in his twenties:

kit studied his undergraduate degree in arts, while also commencing more rigorous royal studies to complement his duties. 

he also began training with the royal army and navy

it’s within this decade that his mother dies.

in his 20s-30s:

kit began to want more from life. always prepared, and very self-aware, he knew that in order to be the king/brother/son that his family needed, then he needed to make sure he was okay. 

his late 20s/early 30s was a time of self-reflection and soul-searching. he started to travel alongside his royal duties, learning as much as he could of the world and ‘living’ as much as he could before he stayed permanently within ulstead’s borders.

his travels took him all over the world, but he would not have stayed for more than 2 weeks somewhere before he came back to ulstead. 

he knew his father was preparing to pass the crown to him soon, and he wanted to be ready. 

marriage ???? no !!!

he finished his travels around age 34. but just because he stopped travelling, it didn’t mean he stopped learning. this man is the literal definition of ‘lifelong learning’. much to his father’s chagrin, he was still balancing time between princely duties and his personal passions. but no one could say that the royal court ever suffered, because kit was always on time and did his homework, providing substantial discussion etc.

he got along really well with his father, until it came to the marriage thing. 

he had to marry ??? what why ??? so that someone could take care of him ??? not right now ://

but then ella ....

you know the story. the beautiful maiden in the gorgeous dress, attending the royal ball in ulstead. no one knows who she is, but look! she’s caught the crown prince’s eye. who was she!

heart-eyes. heart-eyes EVERYWHERE.

he’s not sure he fell in love, but he had never been more ready to fall in love than at that moment. he would have leapt into love for her.

BUT THEN MALEFICENT #$%^$

she knows what she did !!!! >:((( 

> PRESENT

now the charmonts are in elias. 

kit was the last one to leave ulstead. he understood the need to protect his brothers, but he couldn’t fathom why his father wanted him to escape too. who would be left to protect their kingdom? who would be the one to come up with a plan? his father’s aging advisors? that snivelly Grand Duke??

and by last to leave, i mean he left a few days after his brothers. he fought tooth and nail with his father that he should stay. tried every trick in the book. but eventually, he surrendered to his father’s desperation.

he’s been at elias now for at least a 1.5 years. he was there for the big battle with hades and maleficent (let’s just say he played a super small role and didn’t do much other than general fighting).

he lives in an apartment all by himself. and two cats: vienna & antoinette. they have lil cat backpacks.

he has no horse :(( he has a car here, but mainly rides his bike around elias. 

he spends his days doing a ‘work from home’ situation, still attending royal meetings and fulfilling his duties. things have recently become more difficult due to his father’s exhausted state. it’s hard to be semi-king of your kingdom when you’re an ocean away.

other things he does in elias:

volunteers time with different organisations, such as orphanages, homeless shelters, and fundraising events

he started the ‘chatty cafe’ in the community centre. on tuesday and thursday afternoons, you get to just sit and chat about anything, and there’s free coffee, tea, and snacks. kit is always there, without fail, to chat to anyone who needs it.

bit of a good samaritan around elias, just known for doing nice things like helping someone with their groceries, paying for the items of the people in the queue, getting a cat out of a tree hehe

[ MENTAL STATE ]

kit has always done very well with like self care and all that. 

but being stuck in elias makes him restless. he’s not sure if he wants to make a life here. he’s got his cats, he’s got his hobbies, but it feels like the longest business trip in the world. and the worst part is, he’s not meant to act like a prince here.

they’re meant to be ‘in hiding’ technically, so he introduces himself as only ‘kit’. and it comes with its perks — he has to admit it’s a little freeing to now have that time he used to crave. the time to just be whoever he wanted to be. only it came a decade too late because he literally just got into the rhythm of being an almost-king in ulstead, and now he has to be .... HIDING ????

being in hiding from a witch, being kept away from his beloved home country .... this was NOT in his ten-year plan.

he’s so proud of being a prince, he loves his kingdom so much. WHY CAN’T HE JUST GO HOME !!!!!

on the family front: he and florian are tense atm (have been for a few years now), and ... kit doesn’t know how to fix it :((

> FUTURE

he’s going to defeat maleficent if it’s the last thing he does honestly

he wants to learn more about magic, or at least request the help and assistance of magic-users who could know something to combat/defend against maleficent

then he’s going back to ulstead

(maybe fall in love?? 🥺)

> TAKEN connections 🕺

florian charmont. brother

philip charmont. brother.

aurora capulet-charmont. sister-in-law

maleficent faery. enemy !!!! ⚔️🔥 IT’S ON SIGHT

elsa arnadalr. dear old friend (lil sis elsa)

anna arndalr. LITTLER SIS ANNA

james sullivan. friend. (met once at a business conference, had the best time, lost touch but will come back together again !!)

more to coooommmee ...

> WANTED connections 🎂

neighbours : want some free food ? need some pet-sitting done ? nervous to talk to the land-lord and need some help ? kit is your guy. his apartment building is a bit ‘posh’ and on the rich side. 

chatty cafe : as explained above, the chatty cafe is a thing he started in the community centre. every tuesday and thursday afternoon he and other volunteers sit down and chat with anyone who needs it; there’s free tea, coffee, and snacks.

stranger in need, is a friend indeed : kit doesn’t shy away from asking if someone needs assistance. there’s very little he can’t do. study help? yes. language help? yes. assistance with navigating forms and paperwork? YES. 

did someone say ... prince charming ? : similar to the above but more the ‘damsel in distress’ route hehe. here is literally prince charming. can end up hilarious, serious, dramatic, sad, you name it. not necessarily romantic. ( any gender !!! :3 )

you’ve got a friend in me : kit has never had ... uhh ... friends. the closest people to him are his brothers, and the captain of ulstead. he needs people that he interacts with as just himself, not as someone helping out or doing something. people he can chill with — and honestly, they need to make him chill.

he likes trivia nights, board games, karaoke, HIKING, sports, PLSSS

he is also a music lover, will go to any concert pls

can you tell i want him to have friends :///

barbie as princess and the pauper (i'm just like you !!! you’re just like mEEEE !!! ): listen .. bear with me ... someone who also deals with a lot of responsibility and stress. please raise your hand. now you are officially the erika to kit’s anneliese. best friendism and cats.

tough love : in addition to friends, he needs people who will tell him straight up that he needs to slow the heck down and run at a normal human being’s pace for once. force him to take a vacation pls. 

it’s witchcraft (frank sinatra vc) : he would like to learn more about magic so he can better defend his kingdom and family against maleficent :((

#walt.intro #*prince charming from shrek hair flip.gif* #hehehe i love my new boi #he needs to calm down tho fr #spare a braincell your highness #about. #creations. #i love that most of cinderella prince charming's incarnations are like -- dicks or elitist or like incredibly naive #and this kit is just like 'lemme just read up on the history of the world for a bit' #truly a lesbian icon

[sixhours]

Chapter 6 - The Ghosts of Babylon

Series Chapter Index | Read on AO3 | Complete

Rating: Explicit, 18+, here be smut and violence Series tags: Joel Miller x You, Joel Miller x Reader, Joel & Ellie, mostly follows canon, LGBTQ+ characters, y/n is bi/pan, y/n is ~45, violence, pregnancy, abortion, medical trauma, emotional trauma, panic attacks, sex work, suicide, smut, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, romance, no use of y/n, reader has longish hair, Joel can lift you, smallish age gap (~11 years), I've probably forgotten some so please let me know <3

~*~

You’re tending to a patroller’s sprained finger in the back of the clinic when you hear a commotion from the waiting area, panicked yelling. The flashback takes you the way it usually does, sudden and violent, stealing your breath, your heart a pounding rush in your ears.

You’re standing in a hallway full of gurneys, watching Joanna’s jerky, painful crawl toward you as you try desperately to kick her away. Your white sneakers slip and slide on fresh pools of blood as your girlfriend reaches and grabs for your ankle, her grip cold and burning up at the same time.

Jo.

You swallow hard, coming to. You’re not at the hospital, you’re in Jackson.

Not now. Not now, can’t do that now.

“Handle this,” you snap at the watching nurse, hoping she doesn’t hear the tremor in your voice.

“Lemme go! No! I need her !” The voice is high and plaintive, young and scared.

“Ellie?”

You step through the waiting room doors to see the girl struggling with a male nurse, desperate and flailing. Her eyes lock on yours, filling with relief.

“Joel…his heart…” the girl starts, then bursts into tears.

Shit.

You grab the portable defibrillator and the med kit you keep by the door, following the girl out of the clinic. “I’m going, it’s at the end of Rancher Street, send backup,” you tell the nurse behind you.

The door to the house is wide open when Ellie and you crash into the living room. Joel is sitting back to the wall of the kitchen island, clutching at his left shoulder with a grimace, conscious, but his skin is sickly gray and shining with sweat.

You’re on your knees next to him, feeling for a pulse, ripping the buttons off his flannel armor with practiced ease. His exposed chest heaves in fast, gasping breaths. “Joel? Can you talk?”

He gives a nod but doesn’t speak, eyes shining with fear.

“Did you take anything?” you ask. He shakes his head once.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Ellie’s wavering voice interrupts, and you turn, having momentarily forgotten she was there. 

“Ellie, I need you to go get your uncle,” you say, thinking fast. “Can you do that?”

“Uncle…you mean Tommy?”

“Yes. Hurry.”

She runs off and you turn back to Joel. You can’t work with her standing over you, and if you need to use the AED, you don’t want her to see it.

“Sure you didn’t take anything? Pills? Been drinking?”

“Don’t drink,” he gasps out. “My shoulder–”

“Family history of heart attacks? High blood pressure, anything like that?”

“Dunno,” he grits his teeth. “Parents died…early…”

You pull a stethoscope from your go bag, fitting the earpieces and pressing the pad just above his sternum, listening for the telltale signs of arrhythmia. His heartbeat is fast but regular, galloping in his chest.

“Breathe,” you say. “Deep breaths.”

He shakes his head but does as he’s told, slowing his breath down. His face begins to regain its color with each exhale.

You sit back on your heels, pulling the stethoscope down. “You might have had a small one…but I don’t think you’re having a heart attack right now.”

He looks up at you, confused.

“I want to get you back to the clinic for an EKG so we can be sure.”

“No–”

“Not an option,” you cut him off. “If not for you, then for Ellie. She’s scared as hell and needs to know you’re going to be okay.”

At the mention of his daughter, he’s suddenly recalcitrant, scowling but nodding.

You pause, thinking. “Have you had panic attacks before, Miller?”

He meets your eyes in a silent glare as if to say, who hasn’t?

“This was different. Shoulder’s been givin’ me grief, my whole arm went numb. It’s never been like that.”

“May I take a look at your arm?”

He looks like he’s going to refuse, but then reneges, stiffly moving to pull down his left sleeve in an attempt to slide it off. The movement is enough to make him cry out in pain.

“Easy, easy. Let me.”

You slide the sleeve off his arm, running up the smooth, warm muscle of his bicep and around to his back, examining his body in a way you’ve never been allowed before.

“Fuck,” he snaps when you press into the meat of his shoulder, flinching and hissing in pain.

“Aha. Ever had a rotator cuff injury?”

He shakes his head, grimacing as you probe the tender area and the muscles and tendons around it.

“Well, Miller, I think that’s what you have here. Could be just a strain, could be a tear, hard to know for sure without proper imaging.”

“That all?”

“You’re not young,” you say. “You lift something the wrong way, twist yourself into a tight space, pinch a nerve…even a few rounds of particularly athletic sex can do damage at your age.”

At your age.

“Like, say…up against a wall,” you continue, lips quirking in a distinctly unprofessional smirk.

The look in his eyes says he either wants to throttle you or rip your clothes off and take you right here on the floor. You know the line between the two is razor-thin.

He doesn’t get a chance to respond because there’s a flurry of activity at the door. Ellie has returned with Tommy, and the backup you requested is right behind them. Thankfully it doesn’t look like you’re going to need it.

“Think you can walk, Miller? Or do we need the stretcher?”

~*~

The neighborhood asshole is surprisingly pliant as you apply the sticky pads and wires to his torso. You get to see the scar on his abdomen– not a bite , you decide–and this time he doesn’t flinch when you touch it in passing.

Ellie stays by his side as you wait for the machine to take a reading, biting her cuticles and watching him like he might evaporate into dust if she takes her eyes off him for a second.

The protector becomes the protected.

The girl’s eyes drift to the scar on his abdomen, and you don’t read curiosity in her gaze, only memory, something painful and deep. His hand reaches for hers and holds it tight, and you have to turn away. The exchange lasts mere seconds but leaves you feeling like an intruder.

Well, you are.

The EKG is clear, as you suspected it would be, and you return with the good news. You lean against the door frame of the exam room, suddenly bone-tired.

“I think we should do an echo to be safe, but it doesn’t have to be tonight. I’m going to give you a brace for your shoulder. You need to wear it,” you say to Joel, emphasizing each word. “If you don’t keep it stable, it could tear. And no lifting. Nothing…athletic.”

His eyes bore into yours as you give him a tiny, knowing smile.

Ellie looks relieved enough to cry, but she doesn’t, just punches Joel on his good arm. “Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that, man.”

“Go home and get some rest,” you say softly.

They head out, her tucked under his arm, and you could swear you hear him whisper an apology as they leave.

~*~

You find him at your office when you return from a house call the next day, waiting in a folding chair outside the door.

“Miller?”

He jumps up when he sees you walking toward him, hands shoved into his pockets. You notice the subtle wince and the careful way he holds his left shoulder as he stands.

“Everything okay?”

“Fine,” he says. “Can we talk? Maybe somewhere…private?”

You arch an eyebrow.

“Not for that,” he ducks his head, a flush in his cheeks.

“Alright, come in.”

He follows you inside the converted supply closet where you stay when you have a rare free moment. There’s a shelf running along the back wall, a set of filing cabinets, two chairs, a desk, and a cot behind it. 

“You want coffee?” You edge around him to get to your desk, gesturing to the folding chair in front of it. 

“Sure.”

You measure out the water for the electric kettle and set it to boil, then spoon precious coffee crystals into two mugs.

“Instant?” He wrinkles his nose.

“Desperate times…desperate measures…and the times are always desperate.”

The kettle froths and beeps. You pour the boiling water into the mugs and slide one across the desk.

“Damn,” he grimaces, taking a sip. “That’s worse than the sludge at the mess hall.”

“It’s better with cream.”

He looks at the mug, looks at you, then back at the mug. “Doubt it.”

“I suppose you can do better?”

“Wouldn’t be hard to,” he mutters, but he takes another sip anyway.

“So, are you wearing the brace?”

He reaches over and tugs at the edge of his collar, pulling it aside to reveal the beige elastic band across his neck and left shoulder. “Ellie threatened to break the other arm if I didn’t.”

“That sounds about right,” you smile. “And…any chest pain? Shortness of breath?”

He shakes his head. “It was…what you said. Panic attack.”

“Do you have those often?”

He takes a deep breath but doesn’t answer.

“I have them, too,” you say, the confession tumbling out before you can stop it. “I guess we’ve all seen some shit we can’t un-see.”

“More than you know,” he whispers.

The pause stretches into silence.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” he says finally. “For pulling a gun on you…when El was sick.”

You nearly choke on your drink. You have to feign a coughing fit while he looks on with an expression of mild confusion.

“An apology? From Joel Miller? Be still, my heart,” you say when you can finally speak.

“Yeah, yeah,” he mutters. “Laugh it up. But I mean it. I appreciate you looking out for her…and me.” 

You gasp, putting a hand to your chest in mock surprise. “An apology and a thank-you? Careful, Miller, you’re going soft.”

He smirks at this, finishes the dregs of his coffee, and pushes the mug back to you.

“Holy shit. Was that a smile ? Is it my fucking birthday or something?”

“Shuddup.”

You lower your voice to a rasp, leaning in. “And here I thought you just wanted to bend me over the desk.” 

His face falls, and he looks so deeply uncomfortable that you almost regret saying it. “Yeah, about that. We can’t…I can’t…do that anymore.”

“There are other positions that won’t put pressure on your shoulder–”

“It’s not about…my arm,” he says, then clears his throat. “The new joist will be up tomorrow. Tommy said he’d swing by and help me fit it in. We can’t finish it up pretty, there’s no drywall, but at least the pipes won’t freeze up again. Then we’re done. No more, uh… payment necessary.”

“Ah…I see,” you say softly. “Then I guess…it’s been nice doing business with you, Miller.”

He nods, licking his lips. After a long moment, he stands to leave, hands on his hips, looking like he wants to say something else.

When he doesn’t, you look down at your desk, pretending to focus on your paperwork. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Take care of that shoulder. And I want you back here for an ECG next week.”

~*~

That night, you return to your little green house and climb the stairs to the attic to check the radio. There’s a new broadcast from FEDRA on the recorder; something about transmission disruptions along the network due to the events in Kansas City, letting you know it might be a while before you hear anything else.

You’ve been thinking about Joel since he left your office, having broken off your little arrangement. You knew the contracting work wouldn’t last forever, and you got the sense Joel was ashamed of your trysts–he fucked you like he couldn’t wait to get away from you–so it’s not a surprise, exactly, but it changes the nature of the job.

But more importantly, Ellie requested you at the clinic and was even ready to fight off another nurse to get to you. She trusts you, and Joel…well, you don’t think he’s going to be a problem now. He seems to have softened, the health scare bringing out some tender underbelly of humanity in him. Yes, you decide, this has been a positive development all around.

You pull the chain to turn off the overhead bulb and climb down from the attic. At this rate, you could be back in Boston before the snow flies.

You’re surprised to find the thought isn’t exactly a comfort.

#fanfic #the last of us hbo #joel miller #joel and ellie #ellie williams #joel miller x reader #joel x you

[othersideofprobably]

Good morning, I’ve just woken up and had a plot bunny, please bear with me:

Harry and Draco are some degree of friends (co-workers, drinking buddies, bowling league besties, dating, etc…). The specifics don’t matter because that’s not the point of this story.

What is the point though, is that Narcissa is fed up with rooms and wings of the Manor feeling like malevolence is still living there. She’s tried the usual things of exorcising dark stuff but the vibes are still hanging around.

Draco mentions this to Harry, Harry brings up the idea of those paranormal home investigator shows where there’s a psychic carrying a handful of crystals & sage, and a home inspector with a carbon monoxide meter & mold test kit.

(I haven’t seen these shows, just heard about them on tumblr, please don’t yell at me.)

Draco’s like, There could be non-magical reasons the Manor is whack?

Harry’s like, I’ve seen that place and it is so old. I would not be surprised.

Narcissa’s just kinda like, I am wealthy enough to try this cute experiment and visitors sound lovely. We shall have a plate of cucumber sandwiches.

She invites all the shows and they all say yes and it’s a crossover episode because I say so which means they ALL are on the front lawn getting a lecture about safety and the Manor’s history on the same morning.

Assorted aurors and other folks who can deconstruct a Dark object are there. I haven’t decided yet if it’s only people who can ~blend~ with muggles or if the comedy would be greater if there’s some folks who can’t be subtle.

Either way, every non-magical visitor gets a magical escort/partner. You may swap out if your pairs interact and want to switch, But You Do Not Leave The Muggles Unattended.

Cue the sage psychics walking into a spotless dining room and saying ‘yes, there is a mild disturbance here. Lemme flap my arms about a bit.’ while their assigned wixen is looking into the camera like they’re on The Office because some Big Bad Shit happened here and the muggle psychic is adorably wrong.

The home inspectors do find leaks and raccoons and jacked floorboards and stuff, but in places where it makes no sense so they’re kinda pulling their hair out. But their assigned wixen are having an absolute ball of a time learning about the mundane intricacies of buildings. And some of these notes truly end up being The Fix That Was Needed for a room because a magic-resistant mold spot that induces creepy feelings and unpleasant memories is still a mold spot that can be taken out with MoldX or a little bleach.

Also this is an everyone-lives AU because I say so and want Sirius and Remus and Tonks (and maybe Moody????) and Fred to be there.

I can’t decide what’s funnier: if the portraits are told to be silent but that moving around to watch the guests is ok as long as movement is not seen, OR everyone plum forgot to tell the portraits and they’re chattering with the guests, too.

“Wait, wasn’t Mr. Basset-Hound-Face in the room with the copper fireplace? Who has a copper fireplace?? what is with this house?! And the little girl in the 18th century court gown was over- Wait. If I have learned anything from that one art history lecture I took, there is no WAY *this* period-accurate ruff would be painted/drawn in *that* style.” turns to their wixen, “If you want me to overlook this and not make a big deal out of the anachronisms, you had better have some very good alcohol at the end of this project.”

Anyway!

In the end, something worked and the Manor feels better. It could be that stuff got fixed/exorcised, it could be that some of the Energies were so offended by all these muggles traipsing around that they just up and left. Who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

((If it weren’t obvious, this story is not scary, it is a lighthearted combining of worlds.))

Ok, please someone write this with dialogue and what-not because I want to read it, thank you.

#plot bunny #OSoP original #HP #draco malfoy #narcissa black malfoy #narcissa malfoy #harry potter #malfoy manor #fic idea #fic prompt #colliding worlds

[santiagonex]

so much gay stuff on air so much gay stuff coming and honestly only 5% of that is watchable but sure let’s talk about all the blue hair yas yas slays why not but remember real serves first and then the trash is gonna be name dropped at the bottom of this post where it belongs... okay actually not lemme just mix it all up you can be the judge of it

first upcoming, planned or recently released movies three two one let’s go... BROS Billy Eichner and Luke Macfarlane gonna play dude bro lovers there’s budget because universal is taking care of the movie the whole cast is ghey and majority of them are playing straights bewm next Fire Island gay rom-com it looks very Iimp wristy but my daddy Ben from Legacies is there so yas yas purr or whatever next My Fake Boyfriend starring Keiynan Lonsdale, Dylan Sprouse and Sarah Hyland honestly dont know whos gonna fawk who but lets go... another one My Policeman with Harry Styles honestly not gonna watch but yay another sad gay drama movie as if we dont have enough already okay... The Mattachine Family honestly don’t care about this one at all but stars Nico Tortorella and Juan Pablo Di Pace so maybe it’s not gonna be THAT bad... okay The History of Sound now this one I could talk about for hours and hours and hours a whole 120 page masters thesis because Josh O'Connor and Paul Mescal playing gay lovers can be something so personal to me I’m so serious right now we’re gonna be tuning in on laptops tv computers phones cinemas we will watch it MULTIPLE times idc idc... Treatment sounds horrible it probably will flop but Cole Doman and Brian J. Smith are in it it’s gonna be some psychological home of phobic shjt honestly don’t care moving on Spoiler Alert is a film adaptation of the bestselling memoir 'Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies' by Michael Ausiello, in the tragicomic love story, Michael is plunged into an emotional maelstrom during the 11 months after his partner, photographer Kit, is diagnosed with cancer which will probably make me cry... Jim Parsons and Ben Aldridge gonna play them so definitely gonna be good... okay quick lil space for upcoming/recently released flops i do NOT care about just use google IDGAF: Sin ti no puedo, Now & Then, The Liar (starring Asa Butterfield, but it’s probably shelved), Al mar, La Revanche des Crevettes Pailletées, Cosas de Amigos, Cassandro, Benediction, Great Freedom, Il filo invisibile, Sisid, Exploited (sigh), Cop Secret (got a chance to see it... it was SAUR bad), Things Like This, 8 años... okay now that’s behind us we can continue... Cobalt Blue... they had the AUDACITY tellin us it’s gonna be out on Netflix in December 2021 and nothing let’s hope they’ll release this year... Red, White & Royal Blue now this one gonna be a classic but we still don’t know much about it only that Greg Berlanti will produce... Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe I mean everyone must be excited for this one not sure if they finished filming already but the main thing is that it’s really happening and we CANNOT wait it was my first gay book I read and it’s just MWAH... The Inspection this one gonna be good because Jeremy Pope is attached playing a young gay man who enlists in the Marines definitely gonna keep my i out for this one... In from the Side gay men rugby is all you need to know phew okay, Sublime gonna be basically Mi mejor amigo but actually gay this time around hopefully, Three Months movie starring Troye Sivan it was mid idk ok nothing special, The Outlaws is set in 1920s and it’s basically gonna be about a flirtatious caper between two men which will erupt into a Johnny and Clyde-style crime spree yes more of this be gay do crimes we’re tired of the same ole coming out home of phobia high school blue hair stories give me fantasy give me thrillers give me action next Humo bajo el agua two chiIdhod friends meeting again after 30 years and just be gay good for them, The Swimmer... she’s a cute girl! Badhaai Do masterpiece Bollywood classic actually best movie this year so far it’s such a classic... basically a lesbian and a gay man willingly getting married to get everyone off their back and it’s so funny and emotional and just ugh they dealt with it so delicately go watch it ASAP... The Parenting is a comedy centering on a young gay couple, who host a meeting of their parents during a weekend at a cozy rental house in the country... gonne be crazy and funny I guess, it will have Brandon Flynn and Nik Dodani as the gay couple and Lisa Kudrow is also there haiii queen! there are like 10 more movies I could name but they will probably flop and no one will check for them IDGAF!

next up planned, upcoming and recently released gay centric shows ouuu let’s get into IT... Hearstopper bewm everyone knows what’s up and we will tune in hopefully it won’t be very blue hair because we’re not very fond of that insert that dog meme anyways Invisible Life which will be based on E. Lynn Harris trilogy of novels following a young black man’s journey of self-discovery as he realizes he is gay... Queer as Folk another reboot this time it’s gonna be very woke, KinnPorsche aka the only BL with actual budget ouuu it’s gonna be so good the trailer was just on another level the othe girlies should learn... Uncoupled starring Neil Patrick Harris don’t care moving on, They Both Die at the End and More Happy Than Not are both set to be TV series let’s hope it won’t get shelved and Silvera will pull through, Semantic Error a K-drama saur saur saur good and entertaining we love her, still not 10/10 none of them actually are what happened to classics? give me the real shit give me the magic now here’s the real one two three punch sIay OUUUU Big Boys - the funny and heartbreaking six-part series follows the unlikely friendship between sweet, shy, closeted Jack (Derry Girls' Dylan Llewellyn) and his new university roommate – the boisterous, laddish and ever-so-slightly mature student Danny (Jon Pointing) everybody cheered... Wrecked - the six-part comedy-horror series follows Jamie, a 20-year-old gay man who infiltrates a luxury cruise ship in search of his missing sister and my boo Jack Rowan is there too a CLASSIC... Half Bad - Netflix series adaptation of SaIIy Green's queer-inclusive fantasy trilogy ouuu everybody gasped... The Temperature of Me and You - Brian Zepka's YA sci-fi novel is set for a series adaptation at Disney+ as well but seeing how Love, Victor ended up I’m just gonna pretend it’s not happening because the pretending will actually become reality and it will get shelved just like Four Dads did... Ser o no ser - series focused on Joel who months after beginning his transition starts a drama course at a new high school where no one knows him, which allows him to present himself to the others as he has always seen himself... there’s not a lot of shows where the T in LGBT is actually being the main focus of a show so this is definitely a move in the right direction and even though based on the trailer, Joel is straight, there is a main gay romance as well, not with the characters I wanted but whatever, you win some you lose some...  ok there is also a show with Manu Rios La edad de la ira but I just don’t care... and the czech sIay TBH, the main romantic focus is the gay storyline which is unheard of for Czechia when it comes to series so wooo it was an okay show with an okay gay storyline at the heart of the show just two floorball player besties turning into lovers simple as that... also there are some very disturbing ones and I just don’t feel like searching their names right now oh we’re so bored give us a new topic or you know what here you go just the names: This Is Going to Hurt and Four Lives now I’m definitely getting tired just one more paragraph lemme pull through

now upcoming and ongoing gay storylines... my boos Ivan and Patrick in upcoming Élite season in two weeks I’m so excited they better provide us the best gay storyline of all time... Ben and Jed also gonna sIay in Legacies the writer said so next week’s episode gona be huge for them apparently I’m so ready... also Luis and Moritz from GZSZ gonna give us another sIay I feel... honestly don’t care about any other ship cause most of them giving blue hair vibes like they ruined Travis and Emmett in Station 19, Carlos and TK from 9-1-1: Lone Star I just stopped caring about like I’m sure there are many more gay storylines rn but I just do NOT give a single fawk actually they’re just simply boring to me I have nothing else to look forward to

#lgbtcinema

[hopeisour4letteredword]

look through your textbook (cause i’m history) ch1

Content warnings: implied/referenced domestic violence

Summary: After dropping out, Yuri’s life is a haze of working and trying not to lose his damn mind. Then he meets Estelle.

Read it here or check the notes for the link to AO3.

It’s late—too late, the community center isn’t supposed to be open at this hour—and there’s a crying young woman with blood on her face holding Yuri’s hand in both of her own.

Yuri really wishes he could say it’s the first and last time this will happen to him. Unfortunately, it’s neither.

“P-please,” the woman stammers. Tears streak down her cheeks, right through the abrasion that mars her cheekbone. Ouch. That must sting. “Please, I just—I can c-clean myself up, I just need a—a first aid kit and, and a place to spend the night—“

“This is a community center, not a shelter,” Yuri says, as gently as he can to soften the blow. Her lower lip trembles. “Hey, none of that. I can help with getting you cleaned up, and when you calm down a little bit we can think together about where to put you up for the night. Alright?”

“Th-thank you so much—“

Yuri waves his free hand dismissively. He fishes through his pockets for his keys so he can unlock the front door.

“Ladies first,” he says, using his captive hand to guide her inside. She sniffles valiantly, releasing his hand and inching inside the dark building. Yuri steps in after her, locking the door behind himself, and flicks on the lights. She flinches away from the sudden glare. “Shit, sorry.”

“It’s n-not your fault.”

“The first aid kit is in the staff room. If you want, you can wait right here—”

“I’m sorry, I d-don’t want to be alone, s-sorry—“

“Hey, you’re fine, that’s cool. Come on, then.”

They troop through the main community room. Yuri kicks in chairs that didn’t get pushed all the way back to their tables at the end of the day. That’s what Hanks gets for letting Ted help close up for the night. At least the kiddie zone got picked up so they won’t slip on any errant toy trains. The young woman flinches with every creaky floorboard and groaning pipe. Poor lady. This isn’t exactly a new building. There’s a lot of those noises.

Yuri unlocks the staff room, and this time has the presence of mind to warn her, “Lights going on.”

“Thank you....”

“So what I need you to do for me is to sit down and try to keep your hair back while I patch you up. Sound good?”

“You don’t—don’t have to—“

“Yeah, but I’m gonna, so quit trying to tell me what to do. Hair back.”

She obediently sinks into one of the shitty folding chairs Hanks keeps in the staff room. Shaking fingers hold her pink hair away from her face. Yuri sits down on an adjacent chair and tries to touch the abrasion as little as possible while he moves away some stray strands that she missed. She trembles, but doesn’t make a peep.

“Okay, what I’ve got here is hydrogen peroxide—“ He shows her the bottle. “And I’m just gonna pour some onto these cotton pads and wipe your scrapes down with it. It’ll sting like a motherfucker, but then it’ll be over with.”

“O-okay.”

“Chin up. You got this.” He holds her face steady while he makes the first pass. She still jerks back so hard that he almost gets her in the eye with the soaked cotton pad. “Whoa there.”

“I’m s-so sorry—!”

“Shit happens. Ready for the next try?”

“Ye-yes....”

Her jaw clenches under his fingers. She whimpers a little when the pad touches her cheek, but doesn’t move. What a trooper.

“There you go. One more pass, okay? We don’t want shit stuck in there when it heals up.”

She nods, firmly, and barely winces with the last pass. Yuri tosses the bloody cotton into the trash and reaches back into the first aid kit.

“Any other scrapes?”

“My—my knuckles.”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see ‘em.” Yuri swipes them down with one pass. They’re not nearly as bad as her face. “You know Neosporin?”

“N-no.”

“Really? Damn. Well, it’s just antibiotic goop. Shouldn’t hurt as much as the last stuff.” She watches as he spreads some onto a gauze pad.  “I’m gonna tape this to your face. Little weird having tape on your face, but in my personal experience, better than having an open bloody wound.”

“Y-yuck.”

“That’s the spirit.” He carefully tapes the gauze in place. Luckily, the scrape isn’t too big. Plenty of room to put the tape down without catching her eyelashes or the hair framing her face. He pops open a box of finger bandages and goops up a few to patch over the worst of her knuckles. “All set. We have some pain meds here, too. Want any? I got ibuprofen, naproxen, Tylenol...”

“Can I... ibuprofen.”

“All yours.” Yuri slides her the bottle and rises from his chair to search the cabinets. Where’s the goddamn cups? Oh, hell, that’s right. Hanks moved all of the cups to the kitchen. There’s only mugs in the staff room now. He grabs a “#1 GRANDPA” mug. “Lemme get you some water for that.”

He passes it off to her. She slips a pill into her mouth and drinks it down. Both hands lock around the mug when she lowers it, and she stares down into the leftover water, trembling.

“You cold?”

“H-huh? Oh. Um. A little.”

Yuri opens and closes a few more cabinet doors before he finds Hanks’s old high school letterman jacket neatly folded and stashed. Evidently the blankets they used to keep in here have been relocated, too. “We’ve got this. Might smell a little like mothballs, though.”

“That’s—that’s fine.”

Yuri drapes the jacket over her shoulders. She hunkers down under it without putting her arms through the sleeves.

“Do you want, like. Tea? We got tea, I think. In the kitchen. Not sure what kinds. I’m not really a tea person. I’m a heathen, I drink black coffee because chugging bitter sludge makes me feel like a badass.” She makes a hiccupping noise that’s something like a laugh. “There we go. Feeling a little better?”

“Yes. Thank you—so much. Really.”

“Well, I couldn’t just leave you there.” He scratches at his chin. “I’m gonna need you to get a head start on thinking about where to spend the night. I have to remember why I came here in the first place.”

“Oh, no, I’m s—“

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong.” What did he come here for? He tips his head back, staring at the ceiling. He was home for the evening... bartending ended early tonight... he had already walked Repede... oh, shit. That’s right. “I’m going into the kitchen anyway, so seriously, do you want tea?”

“N-no, thank you.”

“Okay, your call.”

She still scrambles to her feet and follows him, so close that he keeps waiting for her to step on his heels. He’s not gonna be the jackass that tells her off, though.

“I just want to preface this by saying I’m an amateur chef, not a serial killer, and you can hold onto the knife until we go our separate ways if me having it freaks you out,” Yuri tells her, as he turns on the kitchen light. She gives him a horrified look, mouthing knife? He goes to the sink. The meat cleaver is exactly where he thought it would be. He can always trust Hanks and Ted to leave his good knives someplace where they rust and get covered in gross shit. He grabs a scrubber sponge and wipes it down, one side then the other, before drying it and bundling it into a dish cloth.

He offers the bundle to the young lady. She shakes her head, quickly. The mug is still tightly clasped in both hands.

“Why is y-your knife here?”

“I lent it to them,” Yuri says. “To the staff here, I mean. Well, I’m also staff, sometimes, but that’s not the point. They had a few whole chickens to prepare today, and someone made off with their old cleaver a couple weeks ago.”

“That was. Nice of you.”

“Sure, I guess.” Yuri tucks the knife bundle under one arm and leans back against the counter, considering her. Her hair is pulled back with an ornate clasp, aside from the bangs that drape over her abraded cheek. Under Hanks’s jacket, she’s wearing a fancy dress, something sleek and silky and blue that pools around her feet. It is, predictably, covered in dirt, dead leaves and grass stains up to knee-height. Her face is wan, with big, sad green eyes. A bruise is starting to mottle her cheek around the scrape. The very image of an abused socialite. “Can I get your name?”

“I’m...I’m Estellise.”

Yuri whistles. “That’s a mouthful.”

“I g-guess so.”

“How do you feel about ‘Estelle’?”

“Es...Estelle?” She perks up a bit. The moue of her lips twitches up just a little. “That’s nice. I like that.”

“Alright, sweet. So, Estelle. I’m Yuri. Do you want to tell me how you ended up here at one in the morning with your face all banged up?”

Estelle looks back down into the mug. “...Do I have to?”

“Nah.”

“Wha—I don’t?”

“Nope. It’s not really my business. I mean, I can make some pretty educated guesses, but you don’t technically need to tell me anything.”

“O-oh.”

“I can just straight-up ask what I really need to. You want me to take you to a domestic abuse women’s shelter?”

“I—“ The mug shakes in her hands. “I d-don’t count.”

“You don’t count?”

“It’s n-not like that. I c-couldn’t—I couldn’t take that space from someone who really n-needed it.”

Yuri sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Uh... I guess you would know your situation better than I would. How about... no offense, but I have no idea how old you are. Are you a very fancy teenager? Should I be thinking more along the lines of children’s shelters?”

“No. I’m eighteen.”

“God, you are a fancy teenager.”

She laughs a little, but it’s hysterical. “Y-yes.”

“I guess... shit. I’m just stuck on women’s shelters. You really don’t want to go? You sure? I can find a lady to drive you if you aren’t comfortable with—“

“N-no! It’s not you. Y-you’re fine.”

“Do you want...did you come here to find Hanks? I can call Hanks.”

“Who’s H-Hanks?”

“Oookay, that answers that question... Not gonna lie, I’m kind of confused about what you want.”

Estelle makes a miserable noise. “I am too.”

Yuri takes a hard look at her. The scrape on her face isn’t so bad she’s bleeding through the gauze right away, and her hands aren’t fucked up too badly. Definitely not a hospital situation. Poor girl probably doesn’t have the money on her to deal with the hospital right now, anyway. The way she’s acting, he’s pretty damn sure there’s some kind of abuse at play, but she doesn’t want to go to the women’s shelter. She’s too old for programs targeted at children. So what exactly is Yuri supposed to do with her?

...Fuck it. He’s tired, she’s tired, he’s overdue for his next scruffy stray. “Look, if you’re comfortable with it, you can come to my place for the night. I’ve got a one-bedroom, not a studio, so you can take the bedroom and lock me out if that makes you feel safer. I can sleep on the couch.”

“I c-couldn’t—!”

“Sure you could. I’ve slept on the couch for stupider reasons.”

“But—“

“If you’re scared, we can call somebody you trust and tell them where you are, so you’ve got witnesses if I decide to murder you.”

“I don’t think you’re going to murder me,” she says, scrunching up her nose at him and then wincing when it pulls at her cheek. “I don’t want to impose.”

“Okay, but I don’t care,” Yuri says. “So I don’t think it really counts as imposing. I’m going to text Hanks—he’s the director of the community center, by the way—that I have a very sad young lady staying at my apartment tonight, so that the next time you ask a total stranger for shelter, you think of that and remember to have some degree of self-preservation.”

“Y-you don’t have to—“

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, minor detail—are you allergic to dogs?”

As it turns out, Estelle is not allergic to dogs, but it’s possible that dogs are allergic to her.

“He’s like that sometimes,” Yuri says, absentmindedly, while Repede staunchly ignores Estelle’s attempts to make friends with him.

“He isn’t friendly?”

When Yuri glances over his shoulder, she’s staring back at him with sad, disappointed eyes. She kneels beside Repede on the floor, bundled into spare clothes Yuri dug out of the community center’s storage for her. Wearing second-hand clothes, making undignified kissy noises at his dog, she looks much younger than she did at the community center. The pouty face she’s making at Repede probably isn’t doing her any favors in the maturity department either.

“He’s not so hot about strangers. Seriously, don’t take it personally.” He gives the chicken soup one last stir. Cooking at 2AM isn’t his favorite, but it is, unfortunately, a frequent occurrence nonetheless. “Alright, there’s soup if you want any.”

She accepts a bowl, but waits until Yuri has his own. She watches and copies him as he lifts it to face-level, carefully blowing across the surface, and drinks some of the broth. He almost snorts some back up laughing when her eyes go wide, and she visibly tries to swish the hot broth around her mouth to cool it.

“You have to blow like you mean it.”

“I don’t want to spill!”

“Just don’t burn yourself.”

Yuri has a table, because he isn’t a complete disaster. He and Estelle stand around next to the stove anyway, slurping soup directly out of the bowls. When the broth-to-solids ratio declines enough, they break out the spoons.

“You’re a really good cook,” Estelle says, sounding wistful. “I wish I could make stuff like this.”

“Keep in touch with me when you get your feet back under you and maybe I can teach you someday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Thank you!”

Once they’ve drained their bowls, Yuri does a lick-and-spit clean-up job on the kitchen while Estelle does a circuit of his living room, snooping through his stuff. He hears her pause over the rush of the tap and doesn’t think anything of it until she ventures to say, “Is... is this Flynn? Flynn Scifo?”

“Probably,” Yuri says. He cranks the faucet off and turns to see what she’s looking at. It’s the picture Coach Niren took of the two of them at their first fencing tournament. Yuri’s still got the last chub of baby fat rounding out his cheeks, and he’s laughing with delight over some stupid shit Flynn had said. Flynn grins back at him, gangly and awkward with adolescence. He has his arm thrown aroun d Yuri’s shoulders. He looks like a damn puppy; he still needs to grow into his limbs. Yuri would die before he told anybody, but it’s one of his favorite pictures. Flynn was grouchy as shit in high school. Every smile Yuri could wrangle out of him was a privilege. “Yeah, that’s Flynn. You know him?”

“Yes... He’s, um, a student of my guardian’s.”

“Your guardian works at the university, then?”

Estelle fidgets a bit, wringing her hands. “Yes....”

Yuri mentally stores her nervous response for later discussion. He can give her a break at ass o’ clock in the morning. “You and Flynn get on well?”

“Yes! He’s very well-read. We talk about books together.”

“Ah, nerd club. Of course. Sounds just like him.”

“Are you...” Estelle glances over at him. “You know, I didn’t think of it until I saw this picture, but I think he’s mentioned you. Yuri? You’re his best friend, aren’t you?”

Yuri doesn’t answer her for a moment because he’s too startled by the fact that Flynn is, apparently, still calling Yuri his best friend even though they haven’t seen each other in a year and almost got in a fistfight last time they ran into each other. Not that Yuri doesn’t also still consider Flynn his best friend, but, like. Standards, Flynn. Have some. “Huh. Yeah.”

A shy smile spreads over her face. “You’re just like he described you.”

“Oh, geez. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll try to be on my best behavior from here out.”

“What are you talking about? There’s nothing wrong with your behavior.”

Yuri stares at her again. “...I think we’re having two different conversations. How does Flynn describe me? Because I assumed he told you I was a pain in the ass.”

“What? No! He said you’ve got a big heart and you always try to help others.”

This is too much for Yuri to deal with at 2AM in front of a stranger. Or friend of a friend, apparently. Dammit. It’s always Flynn.

“Well, um. He did also say you were trouble.”

Oh, thank God, stable ground. “That sounds more like it. Come on, I’ll lend you some pajamas. We should both get to sleep. In the morning—like the real morning, not the fake morning right now—we can go back to the community center and talk to Hanks about your options.”

A week later, Estelle is still in his apartment. Yuri thinks she’s starting to grow on him. Not like a fungus, because Estelle is one of the only people he’s ever met that he would wholeheartedly describe as lovely. Terribly naive, mind-bogglingly sheltered, but lovely. So maybe like some kind of nice moss or something? He’s lost the trail of this metaphor.

He has bartending in the evening, these days, but when he’s at the community center in the mornings he tries to give her his attention. She seems overwhelmed by all the things she needs to find solutions for: housing, income, banking, emergency medical care... At least a few of those, he can help with. Hanks is a bigger asset. He’s got a lifetime of experience with helping uprooted young adults. Yuri is happy to put Estelle up for as long as it takes them to sort her shit out.

Still, he does sort of wonder if he’s gotten ahead of himself when Hanks texts him asking to talk to him and Estelle in private at his house. Hanks is usually fine with having personal conversations at the community center. Whatever he has to say must be serious.

“Should we have brought him something?” Estelle asks, a little nervously. She’s wearing clothes loaned from one of Yuri’s coworkers with Hanks’s jacket thrown over them. The ol d man refused to take it back from her when they met, and she’s barely taken it off since. She throws herself into hand-me-downs with an eagerness Yuri wouldn’t have expected, given her clothes the night they met.

“What? No. Why would we bring him something?”

“Well, you’re supposed to give your host a gift when you visit someone, aren’t you? Like a bottle of wine?”

“I know you grew up in the fancy rich high society life or some shit, but this is the Lower Quarter, princess. We don’t have the money for that kind of etiquette here. The only ‘wine’ Hanks is getting is the kind that comes out of my mouth.”

Estelle laughs quietly as Yuri knocks on the door and then shoves it open without waiting for a response.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Hanks calls, gruffly. Yuri shepherds Estelle in the right direction. Hanks has his back to them as he puts the finishing touches on a couple bowls of salad.

“Wow, breaking out the fresh vegetables for us and everything.”

“Someone has to make sure you kids get vitamins,” Hanks says, without looking up. He offers one of the bowls to Estelle. She peers into it curiously. “Spinach, bacon, cucumbers, and cherry tomatoes. I’ve got salad dressing in the fridge if you want some.”

“Yes, please,” Estelle says. Hanks waves her toward the small kitchen table while he goes to the fridge.

“Both of you have a seat. Estelle, what kind of dressing do you want?”

“Um. I’ll have whatever Yuri’s having.”

“Don’t let Yuri be your role model for everything,” Hanks warns her, even as he passes her the Italian dressing. “He’s a troublemaker.”

“I think he’s nice,” Estelle mumbles.

“You poor, misguided soul,” Yuri says. He takes the bottle from her when she’s done. “Hanks, you needed something from us?”

Hanks eases himself down into a chair across from them, groaning the whole way. The stubborn old man is going to hurt himself one of these days if he doesn’t give in and get a cane. “I did. Well, there’s not really a good way to get into this. Here. Take a look.”

He takes a piece of paper out of his breast pocket and unfolds it, dropping it on the table in front of them. It’s a flyer, the kind small local businesses will have on community boards or that gets slapped up on light posts on the street. It reads:

MISSING PERSON: ESTELLISE SIDOS HEURASSEIN

LAST SEEN AT ZAPHIAS UNIVERSITY, NEAR MEDICAL SCHOOL

18 YEARS OLD; 5’5” TALL; PINK HAIR AND GREEN EYES

CONTACT ZPD [(XXX) XXX-XXXX] OR DEAN ALEXEI DINOIA [ [email protected] ] WITH INFORMATION. REWARD IF FOUND.

In the middle of the page is a poor-quality, grainy picture of Estelle. It’s water-stained, with the colors distorted so that her face is barely recognizable. Yuri’s not convinced he would recognize her if he didn’t already know who it was. The flyer must have been outside. Along the bottom are tear-off tabs with the police number and the Dean’s email on them. Yuri recognizes the domain; it’s the official university mail service, so it must be the Dean’s professional email. It seems like an odd choice for a missing person ad. Looks like a few tabs have been taken.

Yuri glances sideways at Estelle. She stares down at the flyer, pale and scared like Yuri hasn’t seen her since their first encounter. They just stopped gooping up the scrape, so it’s scabbing over now , and the bruising has turned a sickly green as it heals.

“I...” She swallows, hard, putting her fork down. “I don’t...”

“Listen,” Hanks says, with a sigh. “I’m not about to turn you in. I don’t think Yuri will, either.”

“Fuck, no.”

“But I can’t promise nobody in the Lower Quarter will. Folks here are hurting for cash. Someone who sees you at the community center might take them up on it, even if they aren’t proud of it, so they can put food on the table.”

“...Yes. I understand.”

Hanks scratches at his beard. “I guess all I’m askin’ is that you think about stopping by the police station yourself. I don’t want Yuri to get charged with kidnapping.”

That makes Estelle jerk her head up, eyes wide. “Yuri could get in trouble?”

“Sure. He’s been on the wrong side of the law before—“

“The tweedles deserved to get pushed into the canal, you know that—“

“I do, son, but the police still weren’t none too happy about it. They aren’t much fond of him, and now he’s got a missing person stashed in his apartment. Ain’t a hard case to make.”

“But he’s not making me stay there!”

Hanks shrugs. “They could argue coercion if they get a bee in their bonnet. That’s why I’m suggesting you stop by the police station yourself, to let them know that you left under your own will and you aren’t missing. It doesn’t mean you have to go back to your old life. The community’s happy to help you figure something else out, like we have been.”

Estelle wrings her hands under the table. She looks down at the flyer again.

“I don’t want to go back,” she says, voice small.

“I’m telling you, you don’t have to.”

“If I talk to the police, they’ll make me go back.”

“You’re eighteen,” Yuri says. “You can go wherever the hell you want. They can’t make you go back if you don’t want to.”

“Will you come with me? To the police station?”

“Probably not a good idea,” Hanks says. “Remember, we want to show them that you’re staying in the Lower Quarter under your own free will.”

“I can still drive you there and wait nearby, though,” Yuri says. “I’ll hang out in a parking lot or something. Just scream real loud and I’ll come grab you.”

“Don’t scream unless you have no other choice, the police don’t like that.”

“Who cares what the police like? If they try to mess with you, break their eardrums.”

“Yuri, for God’s sake, don’t get the poor girl in trouble.”

Estelle giggles a little, high and anxious. The smile slides back off her face quickly, though. “I can... can I still stay with you? After I talk to the police?”

“Sure.”

“Really? I promise I’ll—I’ll stop by the bank, and get a new account set up. Then I can try to find a job and pay you b—“

“Estelle, chill. There’s no rush.”

“But—!”

“We’ll get it sorted out. Might take a bit, but we’ll get you there. You don’t need to freak out.”

“I just—“ Estelle sniffles a bit. Oh, God, no. No crying. Please no more crying. Yuri is terrible at comforting people. “You’ve been so kind, both of you, and I haven’t even told you anything and you’re still helping me, and I feel so bad, and—“

Yuri fidgets with a lock of his own hair. “I mean. This isn’t exactly a huge mystery. You’ve got big bruises on your face and you don’t want to go back somewhere. I might not have a fancy education, but I can put two and two together.”

“I... I guess that’s...”

“We don’t really need more information than that. Anyway, you’re a friend of Flynn’s. He would kick my ass if he found out I didn’t look out for you.”

“But you offered to let me stay with you before you knew—“

Hanks reaches across the table to pat her shoulder. “Don’t bother, miss. Let Yuri believe the rest of us think he’s a tough guy. We all know he’s really a big softie.”

Yuri splutters indignantly. “Hey!”

“He climbs trees to get children’s cats down for them,” Hanks stage-whispers to Estelle. She giggles, more genuinely this time. Yuri would be pleased if it weren’t at his goddamn expense.

“One time! Was I just supposed to leave Ted’s cat stranded?! He had a broken leg!”

“One time? Son, you’ve done that twice in the last year.”

“Tell Ted to get a better cat! I swear, next time I’m leaving the damn thing up there.”

“Yesterday,” Estelle tells Hanks, solemnly, wiping a tear away from the corner of her eye, “He held two babies for a busy mom. At once.”

Hanks chortles. Yuri groans, aggrieved. “I changed my mind, you can’t stay with me. You’re a menace.”

“No, no. You’re right, we can’t risk Flynn’s wrath. The young lady is here to stay.”

Estelle catches Yuri’s eye again and gives him that small, shy smile again. Yuri shakes his head, fond despite himself. He returns a wry smile. Of course she’s staying. He never should have expected anything different. On some level, he thinks he didn’t.

“Alright, princess. I guess I’m stuck with you.”

“I’m in your care!”

#fluri #yuri lowell #Estellise Sidos Heurassein #tales of vesperia #Feeling Pretty Good About the Trouble That I’m In #flynn isnt here but yuri Pines #long post

[katedoesfics]

Shadows of the Yiga | Chapter 27

Teba had his hands in his pockets as he walked toward Zelda and Paya standing beside their car. They met at the outskirts of the city in hopes of avoiding anyone overhearing them as Zelda explained to Teba what had happened at the ranch.

“I can’t stop them,” Teba said. “Your father has his men all over Hyrule looking for Link.”

“And Impa?”

“She’s not against us,” Teba said. “But she won’t stand by if you try to leave again.”

Zelda pinched her lips together.

“Your father has taken over completely,” Teba continued. “He’s been able to keep things quiet, but people are noticing.”

“You should remain in the city,” Paya said to Zelda. “At least for now. You will be safer here.”

“The Yiga Clan -”

“The Champions can handle the Yiga Clan,” Teba said. His brows furrowed. “I have to agree with everyone else. There’s no sense in you going with them and walking right into their hands.”

Zelda opened her mouth to argue, but Teba cut her off firmly.

“This is where I draw the line,” he said fiercely. “You know I’m on your side. But I can’t let you do this. You’ll be doing more harm than good.” His expression softened. “Please trust me. We need you in the city, at the very least, to keep your father in line.” He offered her a smile.

“Fine,” Zelda muttered. “But promise you won’t keep things from me. I want constant updates on them.”

“Of course.”

Zelda turned back to the car. “Don’t let them go to the Yiga Clan yet,” she said. “I need to know how much of a threat Dorian is, first. I’m going to confront Impa.”

Teba nodded. He said nothing further as they got into the car and he watched them drive out of sight. He leaned against his car and took out his phone, dialing Revali.

“How’s everything going?”

“Peachy,” Revali muttered. “Not tense at all. We’re having fucking tea.”

“I get it,” Teba growled. “Tone the sarcasm down.”

Revali sighed. “You don’t get it,” he said. “We don’t have time.”

“Zelda doesn’t want you going after the Yiga Clan. Not yet.”

Revali was quiet on the line for a moment. “Fine,” he muttered. “She has her reasons. But I’m not going to be the one to kill him if it comes down to that.”

*****

Zelda and Paya stood before Impa. She was seated at her desk, regarding them fiercely, waiting for them to speak, but Zelda was hesitant.

“Don’t take me for a fool, Your Highness,” Impa sneered. “Whatever you think you need to tell me, I already know.”

Zelda’s gaze narrowed on her. “I want the truth.”

Impa stood and placed her hands on her desk. “You first, Sheik.”

Zelda’s eyes widened, but her expression quickly turned to a sneer.

“You are a fool,” Impa spat. “You cannot walk right into their hands, Zelda. The moment they get you, it’s all over. You need to understand that. You need to sit this out.”

“I need to fix Link -”

“Link’s gone!” Impa snapped. “It’s too late for him.”

“It’s not! Purah said so herself.”

“Purah doesn’t know for a fact,” Impa said. “She can only make guesses based on her own research. Without the Sheikah Slate -”

“Then we get our hands on the Sheikah Slate,” Zelda said fiercely.

Impa held her gaze on Zelda. “Don’t you think I have my men on that?”

Zelda hesitated. “And who, exactly, have you sent out to retrieve it?”

“Dorian, of course.”

Zelda stiffened, but said nothing more. She had to force herself from turning to Paya to keep from letting her guard down. If Impa had sent Dorian to retrieve the slate, that would explain why they saw him. However, it did not explain why he strolled around their hidden base so openly, as if he belonged there with the Yiga. She couldn’t read Impa; she couldn’t tell if she knew this or not. Either she was being played, too, or Impa was just as involved. She chose instead not to confront her, but keep the knowledge to herself.

“Stay in the city,” Impa said calmly. “I know you’re in contact with them, and I know you won’t tell me where they are, but tell them to stay away from the Yiga Clan. Let Dorian do his job. Once we get the slate back, we can discuss things further.”

Without a word, Zelda and Paya left Impa alone. When she was sure they were out of earshot, she sat back at her desk and picked up the phone. When Dorian’s voice answered, she spoke.

“They know.”

*****

The Champions - minus their two fearless leaders - were gathered outside of the barn when Aryll and Talon returned. She trotted her horse to them and dismounted, talking excitedly to Talon as he carefully slipped off his own horse.

“That goat thought he could get away from me. Ha! What a joke! I bet I could herd ‘em faster than Link!”

Talon nodded over to the Champions as he took his horse by the reins. “Without question,” he said. “Just don’t tell Link I said that.”

Aryll grinned and patted her horse’s neck. She turned her gaze to Mipha. “Where is he?”

“Inside with Kit,” Mipha said softly.

Aryll frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Revali said quickly.

Talon hesitated, then turned to give the reins to Aryll. “Why don’tcha take care of ‘em for me?” He offered her a reassuring smile, then watched as she walked the two horses into the barn. He turned back to the group with a hand raised.

“I don’t wanna know what trouble you fugitives got yaselves inta,” he said. “The less I know, the better. I’m sure ya got a plan goin’ on, ‘n’ tha’s fine. Whatever ya need from me, jest lemme know.” He thrust a thumb over his shoulder. “I got beds ‘n’ couches, ‘n’ s’long as Aryll can keep helpin’ me out ‘round here, you can raid my fridge. But this ain’t no bed ‘n’ breakfast. I’m only doin’ it for Link ‘n’ Ary, so ya best keep ‘em safe, got it?”

Aryll listened closely as she quietly unsaddled the horses. It seemed like everyone would be sticking around, keeping a watchful eye on her and Link. Something had happened while she and Talon were out, but of course they never explained it to Talon, and she was sure they were going to keep her in the dark as well.

When she returned the horses to the paddock, everyone was gone. She didn’t know where they had gone off to, but she didn’t particularly care. She wanted to make sure Link was at least alright.

He was laying on the couch when Aryll made her way inside the farmhouse. He had his hands on his face. She watched him for a moment as she walked across the room.

“Talon says I heard goats better than you,” she said with a smile in an attempt to ease the tension in the room. But Link did not respond, and her smile disappeared. He didn’t even turn to regard her. He looked lifeless as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Her brows furrowed in concern. “Have you gotten any sleep?”

Still, he did not respond. Aryll made her way into kitchen, peering inside the fridge. She called to him over her shoulder. “Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I don't feel like doing any cooking, though.” She cocked her head to the side as she inspected the contents. “Want cold pizza?” She took the box out and set it on the table. She sat, helping herself to a cold slice. “You should eat something.”

To her relief, Link got up from the couch. He dragged his feet across the floor, sitting at the table across from her with a sigh. He took a slice for himself and with his cheek against his palm, took a disinterested bite. Aryll busied herself with her phone as she ate, scrolling mindlessly through her apps. There were a few unanswered texts from Cremia and Anju, and she decided to give them a brief reply, if only to reassure them that she were still alive. She at least owed them that after her sudden disappearance, even if she couldn’t tell them what had happened.

“You know,” she started. “I took this new history class last semester. Except they don't want to call it a history class.” She paused to take another bite. “It's about Hylia and all the trials Hyrule has gone through since the beginning of Demise's curse.”

“There's a class for that?” Link said, staring at his pizza.

Aryll nodded. “It almost didn't happen. Apparently it caused a big controversy with some of the parents. They didn't want legends to be taught in a history class. Can you believe that? After everything they've seen, they don't believe their own history. It's like they refuse to admit it.”

“Can you blame them?”

Aryll shook her head. “No one knows the truth anymore. People need to know the truth. If we keep forgetting about the curse, we'll be doomed. Society will be the reason we fall to Ganondorf. We cannot forget our own history. If we keep it alive, we can better prepare ourselves in the future.” She finished her pizza and met Link's gaze. “That's what I want to do. I want to educate people. I don't want them to forget.” She paused in thought. “Maybe I could be some kind of Historian. I bet Impa would let me be an honorary Sheikah. I could work for Zelda.”

Link shook his head. “You can't force people to believe anything,” Link said.

“How can you say that?” Aryll said. “After everything you've done for Hyrule. You'll just fade away like every other hero. Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

Aryll stared at her brother. After a moment of uncomfortable silence, she turned her gaze back to her phone. “Why?” she asked softly.

Link didn’t answer her. To his relief, Kit walked in at that moment, a case of beer in his arms.

“Stocking up?” Link asked with a raised brow.

Kit put the case on the table with a sigh. “I should have raided the bar,” Kit said. “Before someone else breaks in and takes my shit.” He opened the case and grabbed a can. “Who knows when I’ll see the place again.”

“No one’s making you stay here,” Link said.

“This is more fun,” Kit said. “Honorary Champion and all.”

“Keep dreaming,” Aryll muttered. She stood from the table and made her way out of the kitchen.

Kit opted to sit in her empty seat. He pushed the case of beer towards Link, but Link turned away from the offer.

“Revali said we’ve been put on hold,” Kit said as he drank. “Orders from her highness herself. What do you think that’s all about?”

Link’s brows furrowed. “I don’t like her being alone in the city.”

“She has Paya and Teba,” Kit reminded him. “I’m sure she has her reasons. Guess we’re camping out here for a while.”

“We don’t have time for that,” Link said.

Kit frowned. “I don’t make the rules,” he said. “Guess we just need to wait and see.”

But Link knew what would come of him if they wasted their time waiting. He wasn’t about to let himself turn and destroy all of Hyrule. He didn’t care what Zelda’s reasons were; the Yiga Clan needed to be stopped before it was too late. And he was going to be the one to end them.

*****

It seemed his friends were insistent on babysitting him. Though they never said it outright, he knew they were watching him closely. Not only that, but Mipha had kept her distance, though he had the feeling that wasn’t exactly by choice. She would never so willingly stay away from him. But then again, he had tried to kill her with his own hands. He couldn’t keep the images out of his head, and it caused his stomach to churn sickeningly. It seemed likely that she was avoiding him of her own accord. She was afraid of him. She couldn’t trust him like she used to, and that killed him the most.

It was late when everyone turned in for the night, though Daruk seemed too eager to stay up with Link. Clearly it was his turn to take up the duty of babysitting. He didn’t think it would be easy to shake off his best friend, but he was determined.

“I know what you guys are doing,” Link said. Except from the light of the tv, the room was dark.

Daruk didn’t turn to him, or offer any explanation, as he knew that Link did not need one. Link didn’t push it further, either. Even though it aggravated him, he understood. In fact, he didn’t want to really be left alone, anyway. If something happened again, he had to be stopped. Still, it would make his plans of sneaking out to go to the Yiga Clan by himself difficult.

But, whether it was due to the dark room or his lack of conversation, Daruk eventually drifted off to sleep, snoring softly. He didn’t wake when Link stood, and Link started to feel guilty for what he was about to do. Not only to Daruk, but to Aryll and Mipha as well. It certainly wouldn’t clear him of his guilt, or right his wrongs by any means, but he couldn’t just leave without a goodbye. So he made his way into the kitchen where he scribbled quickly on a piece of paper, leaving it folded on the table.

He tiptoed through the sleeping house, hesitating at the door with his hand on the knob. He pulled it open quietly, glancing one last time at Daruk sleeping soundly on the couch. His lips pinched together and he stepped outside, closing the door quietly behind him.

He hurried to his car, slipping in behind the wheel. Thanks to Paya and Zelda, he had the coordinates he needed to get him to the Yiga Clan hideout. He knew he would have to walk through most of the desert, so it seemed unlikely he would be able to bring all the c4 he had in his trunk, but he could at least bring enough to leave a pretty good mark. It wouldn’t wipe them out completely, but it would at least give him the edge he needed, considering he would be severely outnumbered - and out powered. Without wasting another second, he turned the key in the ignition and peeled out of the driveway towards the desert.

*****

Aryll hadn’t seen her brother at all the next morning, but she thought nothing of it due to the early hour. The house seemed to be empty, and she saw no sign of the other Champions. She eagerly made her way to the barn to help Talon with the animals. For the next couple of hours, she busied herself with feeding them their breakfasts, cleaning the stalls, and collecting eggs. It was near noon when she finally returned to the house, her stomach begging her for lunch.

But once in the kitchen, her attention was caught by a piece of folded paper on the table. She picked it up and her eyes traced the words on the page. The note dropped from her hands and she pulled her phone quickly out of her pocket, dialing her brother's number, but his phone went straight to voicemail. She stared at the unfolded note that lay on the table.

Don't look for me. I'm sorry.

#loz #botw #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #fic #fanfic #soty #shadows of the yiga #soty27

[ohgcmma]

hi ! i’m zelda ! you might see me referred to as quincy in a few places, im just trying to start using an alias but im very bad at it so. we’ll see how long that lasts. anyways ! like this post or message me to plot !

who’s that walking onto the stage? that's [gemma valentine], the [guitarist] for the band. she is [twenty-three], and is from [ohio], like the rest of the band. gossip mags like to say that she is [impulsive], but i believe they’re also [passionate]. i read that they’d be [going to law school] if they weren’t in the band, and that their favorite song was [bishops knife trick by fall out boy]. hopefully it won’t come to that though, i like their stuff too much.

trigger warning for death & cancer under the cut !

history

gemma valentine was born and raised in rural ohio. her mother’s name is bridget and her father’s name is michael. she has one brother named nathan, who is older.

michael valentine was the sheriff of the small town. he was a hard ass, and because of this gemma and him have never been close. 

bridget valentine was a nurse at the hospital a few towns over. she worked a lot and was often not home. gemma isn’t close to her either.

nathan left home when gemma was eleven, and has only been home sporadically since.  

the only person gemma was ever close to was her best friend alex. 

they were complete opposites. where alex was calm and focused on his future, gemma was a force to be reckoned with. this never stopped them from causing trouble together, though.

they spent their childhood and early teen years causing mayhem. 

they would “borrow” their parents cars and drive too fast on back roads surrounded by farmland, laughter flying out the window and disappearing in the night behind them. 

they were partners in crime, finding trouble where they could and creating it where they couldn’t.

they had big plans to escape their dead end town and never look back. they started a little band, gemma on guitar and alex singing and shakily drumming out a beat on an ancient drum kit. they even posted a few covers on youtube. they never got any traction. 

**tw cancer & death**

but all of that came crashing down when alex got sick. he fell ill when they were fifteen. he was soon diagnosed with cancer

his family and the doctors tried everything they could, but the disease didn’t relent

he passed away within the year, just before gemma turned sixteen.

she absolutely lost her mind when he died, she had lost the only person that had ever meant anything to her. 

**tw over**

she retreated into herself. once a bright class clown, she became distant and withdrawn. 

she didn’t start the band with the original intention of creating some strange tribute to alex. she played a little bit of music with jiahou, and they sounded great together, and suddenly they were a band.

the band became gemma’s only lifeline. as the group filled out and more joined the little pseudo-family, gemma found a way to hold on to alex. the band was finding some degree of success, achieving everything gemma and alex had talked about.

gemma never fully recovered from the tragedy of losing alex, never managed to bring back who she was before. 

but she found people who she cared for, and cared about her, which made a world of difference

everything comes to an end, though, even the best of things. used to loss, gemma was resigned to end of the band. their last summer together was bittersweet, and then gemma went off to college, half expecting to never see them again. 

she went west for college, to a school smothered by sunlight and plenty of parties to keep gemma busy. undeniably intelligent, gemma managed to land herself in a pre law major at a prestigious university that was not quite her style.

college warped gemma into a strange facsimile of who she was before, too many nights drowned in vodka and spent with strangers to be quite the same girl she was when she left ohio. 

her four years out west a bit of a blur, she left college with a degree she didn’t care about and an acceptance letter to a law school she wasn’t looking forward to. out east this time, ivy covered walls were not what gemma wanted for her future. 

it seemed like fate, maybe a bit of luck, that gemma got the call about getting the band back together. she agreed immediately, thankful to put off her bright but disenchanting future as long as possible. 

this tour means a lot to her, reconnecting with some of the most important people in her life and a chance at a future that gemma can actually look forward to. 

personality

gemma is the kind of reckless and impulsive that only comes from growing up in a rural town

have you ever met someone who is really intelligent but also makes the stupidest decisions? yeah that’s gemma. she uses twizzlers as a straw sometimes

she’s a bit angry at the world, which is why she’s going to law school so she can make some changes and that seems like the best way. 

she likes to have fun but sometimes gets a lil dangerous about it, definitely needs to be reigned in a bit

chaotic neutral

thats all for now, folks ! if you have any questions lemme know !

#touring:intro

[seenashwrite]

Dearest Nash, I've touched on this before in (I believe) in a discussion re: why some mainstream fics get oodles of notes while more original ones do not, *but* I wanted to get a bit more specific here. There are certain writers here whose writing has a definite vibe to it (if you will) that separates their work from others, and your name is one of the first that comes to mind. Bear with me, because trying to detail what makes your writing stand out is difficult while trying to articulate a Q

^ this is a gif with parts 2 - 4, just FYI

Hmmm… this is a bit of a brain buster. But I can answer it, and I think succinctly, maybe with a touch of that Spidey sense you mention:

Thank you for your inquiry, hope that helps! 

I kid. But this is a brain-turner. And a characteristic which, like you say, ain’t limited to me. I’d honestly throw comedians under this umbrella, too, not because I’m necessarily gunning for a laugh every time, but because it’s pretty much their job to take a “basic” (a tenet or fact of life or present reality or whatever) and present the observation with a twist. I think of storyteller comedians specifically, your Patton Oswalt-s, Maria Bamford-s, Kathy Griffin-s, and John Mulaney-s.

So if I can sum up, assuming I’m tracking with you, what you’re more or less driving at with the “how” is this –> Is there anything beyond simply personality, or an auto-pilot thought cascade (for lack of better terminology) that contributes? Are there things someone could do/be proactive about, to perhaps cause this same sort of reaction to happen in their brain?

I think there just might be.

Folks reading this, let me ask you a question, and you cannot look it up:

What was the name of the Sherpa guide who led Sir Edmund Hillary up Mount Everest?

.

.

.

His name was Tenzing Norgay.

Nash, what in the name of the frozen corpse of George Mallory does this have to do with Lion’s question?

I shall tell you.

My father told me that fact when I was quite young, so young I legit couldn’t even ballpark my age for you. The context was that having little facts tucked away in your brain may come in handy. Not in a Jeopardy kind of way, more in a conversational way. I’ve no idea why the man thought the Sherpa guide who led Hillary up Mt. Everest would ever come up during a conversation with enough regularity to justify my knowing that fact (aside from him randomly quizzing me throughout my life) but hey, I guess it just did.

But speaking of Lil’ Nash, the situation for her was that she was the eldest of all the Nash litter by miles… like seven or eight years, I’m not bothering to check. So I had a lot of alone time, and my grandmother was my chief babysitter, so prior to kindergarten and then til I was in about second grade (so: all day long during the week, then every weekday after she picked me up from school), I was pretty much always at her house. Yeah, there were toys, but not a lot to do. And I’d read. I’d been reading on my own for a decent while, not because I was some prodigy but because my dad read to me *constantly* when Lil’ Nash was Itty-Bitty Nash, and it “took”. My mom also, every time she went to the grocery store always - and I mean always - brought back a book for me. It might’ve been an Archie comic—-

Mandatory #fuck the CW’s Riverdale tag

—-or a Babysitter’s Club, or Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume, Madeleine L’Engle, Zilpha Keatley Snyder, you get my point. Some small paperback. It would piss Dad off because he’s a cheap bastard and two buck books once or twice a month were really gonna cut into the savings [eyeroll] but also, in a way, because I’d kill it in a half day/a day. Wouldn’t put it down. After awhile, I started writing my own silly little kid stories, then - and this is where the creative writing love came about -  I started writing soap operas for my Barbies. (When I was older - like, 5th grade? 6th grade, maybe? - none of my peers were still playing with Barbies, and I got made fun of when, at a sleepover, they saw my stash. And I was like - No, no, no. Those aren’t for playing. That’s my cast.)

Time went on, and when I was bored at post-church lunch/dinners, I would also read the old encyclopedias at my grandmother’s, the ones from the late ‘60s/early ‘70s that she had for my mom and my aunt. As I got even older and became fascinated with rooting through the boxes in gran’s basement, looking at all the cool old clothes, I stumbled upon my aunt’s collection of Whoa-Hooooo Shit There’s No Way My Grandparents Knew You Read These books. Those kinda Harlequin-esque ones, except my aunt’s tastes run close to mine, none were the same shtick with different covers, shmultzy-sappy romance, there was always some sort of intrigue along with the sexy times, and she also had, like, every legit V. C. Andrews (meaning: not the ones from the ghostwriter, this was way before her death) book.

What is my point? I read a LOT. Now-a-days, other than fanfic (which… straight up: I don’t read a lot of that, either. I peace out on probs 80% of it before the third-to-fifth paragraph. It’s gotta sell me fast, yo) I haven’t read fiction in probably, oh…. 12 years? I think the last ones were the first couple Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Wait, no! I lie! I read the 50 Shades books when I was traveling 2x/wk for a job about 4 years ago, and I needed the laughs. It worked. Oh my days, that woman can’t write. The screenplay might’ve been worse, it goes her, then Buckleming, then everyone else. It’s bad. In any event, past decade or so, it’s more historical stuff and true crime and science stuff and all that old fart jazz.

Okay, so that’s #1: Read. And not just anything, be well-read, and that doesn’t mean developing some level of expertise, by “well” I’m saying to cover the spread. You’re building your tool kit, is all. You won’t use most of it, but it’s nice to have options. You also don’t always have to get this stuff from reading now-a-days, because podcasts. Cover the spread there, too. Lemme look at my bookmarks…. 

[Spongebob narrator voice: A few moments later]

I’m back. Science - Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe; General current stuff without being news - CGP Grey’s Hello Internet; current events with shittons of pop culture, past and present - Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World; fun history stuff - The Dollop; entertainment stuff - How Did This Get Made.

#2: Keep a notebook with you and jot down turns-of-phrase that spark something in your brain - things you read on websites, on twitter, in articles, things you hear people say (real life, TV, movies, podcasts), and write it. Don’t snap a pic with your phone or make a note in your phone. There are studies behind this, I’m not hunting them down, you’ll just have to trust me, but there are, and it goes to being reflexive, a brain “muscle memory” thing, if you will. You’re not doing it to plagiarize, you’re doing it to dissect it, kind’ve like you did with the example you gave on me —> went from punch action to punch spiked with booze to a punch with a spiked gauntlet.

Which leads to #3: Mental dictionary. I have a large vocab repository, and it stems from the tons of reading - I stop and look up stuff if I either don’t know it, or it’s used in such a way that I think they’ve got it wrong and want to double-check that maybe there’s another usage I don’t know - and also stems from a drive to combat the (still fairly thick) deep South drawl I can’t kick, and not for lack of trying. But see, I couldn’t have whipped out that progression if I weren’t aware that one definition of “spike” is “to add alcohol to”, or of the common shtick in stories of spiked punch like at high school proms typically, or knew about the existence of spiked gauntlets / old school armor. 

And I guarantee you that a good chunk of people didn’t really “get it”, and just thought “Nash Be Nashin’, that nutty gal”. So they “get it” on that level, but don’t Get. It., if you see what I’m saying. And that’s fine. Maybe it got something cranking in the back of their mind and it’ll hit ‘em in the middle of the night, or they’ll be watching Game of Thrones or something, see a gauntlet and be like “Oh goddamnit, I just got a throw-a-way one-liner from three years ago” and have a chuckle.

Related, re: looking stuff up and things that people “get”? I didn’t know fuck-all about Twilight, but it seemed of import to the folks around 5 years younger than me, the Nashlings wouldn’t shut up about it, so I got a good working knowledge of it. Same with Harry Potter, and through it I got to “know” J.K. Rowling, who I find to be an exceptional writer, so that was great, and I’ve watched the movies for the most part over the years at Christmastime, and I don’t give the first shit about what “house” I’m in, nor do I care about what Patronus I’d fart, but I have a working knowledge of what those are, and horcruxes and who Snape and Voldie are, you get my point. I can keep up. But to do it, I had to take the time to look it up. One thing I would not trade for gold is Michael Sheen chewing the goddamn scenery in that battle segment from the last Twilight movie. Have I watched the movie? No. But that scene is the shit. And that baby CGI is horrific on several subtle levels. And not-so-subtle. I’ve digressed.

Back to those notes: So if you’ve got these notes jotted, you might see something else and think “I feel like that could’ve been snappier…. why do I think that….” And you’ve got a resource at your disposal, that little notebook. Hell, jot that thing down - things you think could be done better. I have in many documents a highlight around chunks of scenes for my big dog story where it says in bold above or below “DO BETTER”. Meaning: there’s a better way to get from A to B, but I’m just not quite there yet. I’m pretty quick on the uptake and can crank out something snappy on the fly (like say, in CASPN chat or when banging out a short reply or thank you note) but there’s definitely times I gotta slap a DO BETTER on it and walk away til that snappy something-or-other light bulb goes off. 

Here’s a recent one where I backtracked, matter of fact - that noir spoof thing I wrote? Along with my co-writer, Moscato? There was a line that I couldn’t hit with a good zinger, so I just said moments were going by like a fat hamster on a wheel, which is cute, but not really grooving with the setting/the vibe. Less tipsy, when I was correcting some inelegant formatting and a misspelling [sigh], I went “Oh! Why didn’t this occur to me last night? Right. Wine.” So the line is now about moments dragging like a rolling donut with a copper on its tail. Get it? The cop’s a fat ass. The donut-cop stereotype.

…….Fine, it ain’t my best, but it fits better. Moving on.

And this leads nicely into #4, and a specific tip I can impart - assuming you’ve got a passable-to-high level of vocabulary in your tool belt, practice messing around with making nouns into verbs, and twisting random stuff into descriptors and using bizarre words/things in metaphors/analogies. Like, I say “adulting” quite a bit. Ali - @littlegreenplasticsoldier - I thiiiink was writing recently about Sam being drunk, and he’s a tall wobbly Jenga tower on his last Jenga. Going back to the noir, pulpy detective style, try messing with the whole “S/he was like a ___ that ____”. Add on to stuff that’s well known - He was like a dog with a bone, if the bone was a ____ and he was a ____ and we were in a ____. (I have *nothing* in mind to fill those blanks, by the way, feel free to twist it into sumpin’)

What else…. okay, here’s a #5: In drafts, let yourself wander, and see what kicks out. It can be fueled by silliness or anger, but I don’t reckon you’re gonna get the “snappy” you’re aiming for if you’re down in the dumps and going full-court-press angst. The best stuff, IMO, comes from the space in between goofy and pissed, and that is The Land Of Snark. You can always re-style it to bend more dry or wistful should you need to, certainly, depending on the situation.

Have a sample of a primo Nash Digression that was fueled by ire in a recap from Season 12 (episode 19). I had said - RE: the random inclusion of the character Joshua, which still pisses me off because they burned a character that held massive potential for future stuff as he’d been shown to be the only angel with direct access to Chuck, so, y’know, that could never come in handy, like ever again in the series, right? - the following.

Mandatory pre-emptive #fuck Dabb

[Spongebob narrator voice] A few moments later —> 

On god, I have no idea where that came from, and here’s where we go back to ol’ Spidey up there, because end of the day?

All that other stuff’s the foundation, sure, but there’s always gonna be the weird iggy, the thing that can’t be learned or taught, whatever the quirky synapse is that fires off in my/our brains. In my experience, it’s an ADD-ish sort of jam mixed with the Nostradamus effect. Meaning, (A) we’re at Level 10, rapid fire thought processing >50% of the time, and (B) throw out enough stuff for long enough, some of it’s going to stick. And I whiff it plenty. Multiple times in CASPN chat I’ve been like “Whoo, tough room” when something falls flat.

A specific example: @mrswhozeewhatsis - and I think you saw this, but anyone else seeing this may not have - gave probably the most fantastic analogy I’ve seen regarding the whole “getting it” thing, and while it was on the topic of meaty plots that get too far into the weeds (my specialty) and how it can lessen appeal to a broader audience, it still applies here. 

She said “Sometimes, when I’m reading something of yours, I feel like there’s a joke I’m missing. It’s like watching Spaceballs without having seen Star Wars.” I say that to say - nobody’s gonna land references that cover the spread 100% of the time. And, y’know, fine. I figure maybe it’ll prompt someone to do a quick google for - well, let’s use Spaceballs. Most folks will no doubt get the Star Wars part, but maybe not Spaceballs. Maybe they’ll check it out, find something they enjoy. Or learn a new word. Or get a brainstorm for a story. Who knows?

Last tip: Don’t actively mimic anyone’s style. Much fail. And I don’t only mean because if they’re on a social Venn diagram with you, would likely recognize themselves in your stuff——

Takes a moment to wave to the peeps still trying with me! #bless your hearts

—–but because it’s fucking hard. I did it broadly on the noir thing, that’s not a hard thing, to homage generalities, but the way I’m messing with doing this on that silly Princess Bride series? Purposefully styling it like Goldman? It’s good  challenging and all, and it is making it feel more in the groove with the book/movie, but I have to be in the right frame of mind or it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, and when I have pushed it, then gone back, it’s sloggy, soggy garbage.

I say all that to say: it’s an amalgam of brain-wiring/personality, and world/life perspective(s), and knowledge acquired over time. The first just is; the second will evolve in myriad ways, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse; the last is the one where you/we have control, we can fill bucket after bucket of information, and the well won’t ever run dry.

Sorry this took so long. I kept adding and subtracting. This is the edited version, if you can believe it. Welcome to Nash Brain. 😉

#Dear Nash #becominglionhearted #Writing Advice #and / or #Writing Stuff #maybe #Writing Tips #unsure #we'll go with all of it #ah I know #Writing Style #that's the ticket #Queueby Dooby Doo #Dad's on a blog post and #he hasn't been queued in a few days

[admittedlynotspartacus]

“Game of Thrones” Season VI: Episode 3 - Slay Queen

WARNING: SPOILERS for the latest episode below, so if you haven’t seen it and don’t know yet who dies, who fucks who, and how many costume changes Varys has, turn back now.

We begin July with a stop at my corner fire hydrant...

DRAGONSTONE

Remember back in Season 2 when everyone was like, “Wait a minute, how did Littlefinger get from King’s Landing to Renly’s camp to Highgarden in like an episode?” Well, everybody seems to have taken a hit of Littlefinger’s magic fairy dust because now they’re all fucking warping all over the goddamn place. Starting with J-Snow, who’s like -

and washes up on the shores of Dragonstone right from the get-go. And P-Dinky’s there like -

And J-Snow’s all -

While Michelle is just like -

Anyway, she makes the Dothraki strip-search J-Snow and co. and then she’s like -

But she keeps getting interrupted by Davos, who’s like, “Where ya from, girl? I couldn’t place your ACCENT.” Even though literally everyone on this show is like -

P-Dinky and J-Snow are catching up, giving recaps of their seasons since the show overtook the books and P-Dinky is like, “To be honest, I was drunk for most of it.” And D&D are like -

CUE THE DRAGONS, because remember? She has dragons. And they’re all like ROAAAAAR FLYING OVER HEAD and J-Snow is all, “NAZGUUUUUUULLL!!” But Michelle and P-Dinky are just like -

Cut to Melisandre creeping from above. Ya know, as she does. When she’s joined by Varys who’s using his newly-found confidence from his off-season Jenny Craig diet to rock this tight-fitting number that’s equal parts SS officer and... you guessed it...

They’re basically like, “You’re up to shit,” “No, YOU’RE up to shit” when Melisandre is like, “I think I’m gonna peace. See the world and all that. Oh and by the way, you’re totally gonna die.”

So we come to the moment we’ve all been waiting all our lives for - when D-Baby meets J-Snow. And it’s, like, fine. Michelle is like, “Paramount Pictures presents: Studio Canal’s presentation of a Fox Searchlight production, a film by Martin Scorsese, James Cameron’s Daenerys Targaryen.” And Jon is like -

Basically D-Baby’s like -

But he’s like -

It doesn’t go well. But at some point, Varys does run in like -

Later on, J-Snow is staring off a cliff like a Britney Spears music video when P-Dinky saunters over and is like, “I came here to brood. But I don’t brood as well as you.”

Basically, he wants to help. But J-Snow is being all -

And D-Baby literally can’t remember any of her lines except for -

so P-Dinky has to totally Dick Cheney the both of them into playing nice. After which D-Baby even seems like she’s kinda -

Again, she’s his aunt. Never forget.

KING’S LANDING

Uncle Freddie Mercury is PARADING through the streets like -

and everyone is so totally stoked to see him like, “Hosanna, heysanna, sanna sanna ho sanna hey sanna ho and -”

Because the surviving Sand Snakes are being dragged around and the crowd is basically the Internet. Like, at some point there’s literally a man yelling “YOU’RE THE WORST! THE WORST!” 

Anyway, he plops them down to Cersei, who’s instantly like -

Like, so much so that Uncle Freddie is already asking sex tips from Jaime (I believe he mentions butt play). Jaime, of course, is all -

Cut to Cersei wearing the loudest lipstick you’ve ever seen.

She’s rehearsing her Emmy submission monologue for Mama and The One Who Showed Her Boobs. And we’re all like, “Aight Cersei, enough talk, we all know you’re just gonna have Frankenmountain smash their heads in and rape them, right?”

But then Cersei’s just like so fucking turned on that she goes to The One Who Showed Her Boobs and is like -

And we’re all like -

But then we get it, ‘cause it’s poison. Except guess what? D&D don’t let us see The One Who Showed Her Boobs or Mama die. 

Oh, no. They’re going to keep Mama alive. So that at any moment... if we give them too much shit... they can bring... her... BACK.

At this point Cersei is wetter than a whore sweatin’ in church, so she goes to Jaime and she’s like -

And let’s just say it might look like Jaime’s the one who likes the finger up the bum, knowhamsayin? 

Anyway, they wake up the next morning (or something, time doesn’t matter anymore on this show), and Jaime’s like, “No one can see us.” But Cersei’s just like -

WINTERFELL

Meanwhile, Sansa is running around like -

and Littlefinger’s wandering around like the kid who can’t find a table to sit at in the cafeteria, being like -

And then he starts giving her like the most anti-Buddhist message of all time, like “Be stressed always.” At one point he literally says, “Everything that happens will be something you’ve seen before.” And I’m like...

But there’s no time for nostalgia, because somebody is at the gate! And we’re all like - OHMIGOD IT’S DEF ARYA, HERE WE GO! ...

It’s Bran.

Still, Sansa is like -

But Bran is just like -

Like seriously, Sansa is just trying to be all, “Sooo... how are thiiiings?” And Bran’s just like, “You had a really nice dress on the night you were raped.”

So of course, she’s like -

And he’s like, “K. I’m gonna stay by this tree, I guess.”

OLDTOWN

National Treasure Jim Motherfucking Broadbent is inspecting Daddy Mormont, who’s just like -

NTJMFB lets Daddy go, and Daddy EVEN GETS A NEW SHIRT. Seriously, he’s been wearing that yellow one since Season 1. But Sam is NOT out of the clear, because NTJMFB pulls him aside like -

And even though we’re still kinda like, “Wait. All Sam did was read the instructions and follow them and in all the history of Westeros no one at this super smart maester academy has EVER thought to do that?!?” Even though we’re still kinda like that, we really think NTJMFB is gonna expel Sam. When suddenly he’s like -

So then we think he’s gonna turn around and suddenly be like -

But instead he’s just like, “I need a shit-ton of copies.”

CASTERLY ROCK

P-Dinky’s monologue-ing as the Unsullied march on the Rock and he keeps talking about how it’s “impregnable,” but that somebody once told him when something’s “impregnable,” “impregnate the bitch.” And I’m like, “Whoever told you that (probably D&D) needs to wash their mouth out NOW, OKAY?!?”

Anyway, Barack’s there like -

And I’m like, “This is the end, my only friend - the end.” But lo, Barack sneaks in through P-Dinky’s whore tunnels and surprises everyone. And P-Dinky’s making us think they’re outnumbered, but Grey Worm is just like -

and lemme tell ya, he’s making. It. Work. He’s just like BAM KILLING BAM BAM but then he’s like, “Wait we killed everyone.”

HIGHGARDEN

All it takes is for me to see Jaime and the massive Lannister army marching while D-Rigg watches from her tower to be like -

Jaime takes the castle. Like really easily. Like too easily.

But whatever. Because all that matters now is D-Rigg. And lemme tell ya, she’s not leaving without one last bid for that Emmy.

First she’s ripping on him, him saying there’s always lessons in failures, and her being like, “Then you must be very wise.”

And then she’s like, “Hmm that’s a nice fucking sword you got there. Whose was that, your CUNT SON?!?”

And then she gets fucking real. She’s like, “Y’know Cersei?”

“And not only that... but she’ll be the end of you...”

So then, Jaime’s had enough, he’s like, “Drink your poison and be done.” And D-Rigg being D-Rigg, she doesn’t miss a beat, she’s just like -

And then. With one foot out of this life and one in the next, she’s like, “Oh yeah... I almost forgot to mention... 

I killed your son.”

“And I want Cersei to know.”

BODY COUNT: 2, plus loads of Lannisters, Unsullied, and Highgarden troops (RIP The One Who Showed Her Boobs and... of course... D-Rigg) BOOB COUNT: 1 pair EPISODE GRADE: B+

SER POUNCE’S STRAY THOUGHTS

Friendly reminder there are only TEN episodes left of Game of Thrones.

Melisandre says, “I’ve done what I set out to do. I’ve brought ice and fire together.” But she’s never really spoken of the war in the North in those terms before, has she?

Do we think she’ll be back this season? I would say she’s gonna need some time to go to Volantis and back, but she can probably get there in 5 minutes with these new warp capabilities.

And while we’re on the subject, the show’s depiction of time has ventured beyond forgivable into problematic. At a certain point around Season 5 it became clear that each story thread was operating under its own time rules; we’d jump forward to not see Jon travel from Hardhome and back, but the other storylines weren’t necessarily running exactly concurrent to his. However, now this is becoming a problem because everything is converging again. So if Jon can make it to Dragonstone in an episode, and if Jaime and Cersei hear the news of the Freys’ death in Episode 1 mere minutes after we’ve seen Arya kill them all, then it doesn’t really make sense that it would take Arya 4 episodes to find out that the Starks have Winterfell again. It’s refreshing to see the show moving quicker, but it also means that D&D can bend time to suit the needs of their plot, which is frustrating given the realism George brought to this world. On rewatch, this is going to be a very top-heavy series. The War of the Five Kings lasted three seasons, but Daenerys has gained and lost a whole host of allies in 3 episodes.

I don’t know why I actually expected Daenerys meeting Jon Snow to be this electric moment when Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington have been the least-nuanced performers of the cast for a long time (I think you could make the case they’re two of the least-nuanced leading actors on a highly-regarded prestige drama in history). Still, it was nice to see director Mark Mylod delay having the both of them in the same shot until the end of her speechifying.

Re: “I am the last Targaren, Jon Snow,” so those who have read the books know that there is this other Aegon Targaryen character who’s either legit or a fraud. Is J-Snow the real Aegon? I guess this matters more in the book, he would delegitimize the fake one, but he must have a Targaryen name right? He’s surely not Jon Targaryen.

D&D love their torture scenes, but the one with Cersei and Ellaria was interesting simply because the victims were just as ruthless as the torturer. I even found a small amount of empathy for Ellaria and Whatever Sand Snake That Is. And kudos to Ramin for that chilling reprise of Cersei’s end of Season 6 theme.

 Did we catch Jaime saying, “No,” as Cersei went in for him before their sex scene? Very frisky, D&D.

This was a much-needed solid Tyrion episode, although all of his plans from the last episode epic-failed. I look forward to the fallout. I’m ready for him to split with Daenerys already.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Sansa will be the queen at the end of all this.

Bran can see everything... except how to explain what being the Three-Eyed Raven means.

Although to be fair, I guess his speed-sync from last season before Max von Sydow died has left him with a fragmented manifestation of his capabilities.

Daenerys’ possessiveness of her dragons is being played up more than usual this season. Expect casualties.

If the Lannister feint seems familiar, that’s because it’s the same tactic Robb used in Season 1, leaving fewer troops to die against Tywin Lannister while leading the bulk of his men to kidnap Jaime. At first, I thought this was lazy writing. But it’s actually a really cool “Jaime learned his lesson” callback.

Oh, wait, there’s literally a line about this. My bad, I forgot D&D don’t trust us to figure things out for ourselves.

The Highgarden attack? Was it un-manned? Or was this just a case of they didn’t have the money to show a full-on battle here?

A note on Diana Rigg - truly one of the greatest assets of this show, and what an exit. Both D&D and her were so locked into that character - everything she said felt right and true. She will be missed. And hopefully Emmy awarded.

NEXT WEEK: D-Baby is done with clever plans, Theon with a boat, and dragons?!? I forgot she had those!!!

#got #gameofthrones #season7 #episode3 #queensjustice #George R R Martin #tyrion #daenerys #jonsnow #bran #sansa #dianarigg #queenofthorns #olenna #sandsnakes #songoficeandfire #hbo

[nytcap]

Press preview for Play It Loud: Instruments of Rock & Roll by j- No Via Flickr: The Metropolitan Museum of Art April 1, 2019

A groundbreaking exhibition presenting a spectacular array of iconic instruments of rock and roll - "one of the most influential artistic movements of the 20th century and the objects that made the music possible" - go on view at The Met on April 8, through September.

“Rarely Seen Guitars, Bass, Drum Kits, Keys, and Horns from More than 80 Renowned Musicians Celebrate the Unique Role of Instruments in Rock.” Christie's and Sotheby's must be kicking themselves for missing out on what surely would have netted them millions in auctioneer's commissions, if placed on the market instead of donated to a museum.

On April 1, the press was treated to a preview of the show, teased with what many of us thought to be an April Fool joke: appearances by musicians Jimmy Page, Steve Miller, Tina Weymouth, and others.  Nope, it wasn't a joke. Towering over the packed hall were Greco-Roman statues of (appropriately) shamelessly full-frontal nude men and ladies, lit by sunlight streaming through the skylight and floor-to ceiling window.  

Typically, for rock & roll, the start was delayed, but eventually out strode those very rock stars. Remarks about the year-long labor of putting together such a monumental exhibition were made by museum staff and a rep from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, who sponsored the exhibit.  Following brief, anecdotal remarks from the Led Zep guitar god, the original Space Cowboy, Steve Miller, gave a long walk-through about putting the show together, as well as much technical tidbits that no doubt flew way over the heads of all who are not guitarists themselves. He also promised that he would be working with the Met to improve their music-hostile acoustics.  Talking Head and Tom-Tom Clubber Tina Weymouth read from a very long essay by a Catholic priest about, basically, the importance of finding your own rhythm.  The audience perked up from nodding off completely, when she worked in a quote of the title of TTC's "Happiness Can't Buy Money", which, given the head-nodding, hardly anyone present was familiar with, despite it being one of her biggest hits.

After the formalities, there was a completely unexpected solo performance by Don Felder on his truly iconic (sorry for the overuse of this adjective, but it's true) double 12- and 6-string white guitar used on just about every performance of  "Hotel California" the Eagles ever gave. video links: https://flic.kr/p/2fpobAn https://flic.kr/p/2eiqZpW

Room after room featured worshipful displays of performance setups, surrounded by walls completely covered - like my teenage bedroom - with concert posters from back in the day when those were actually serious works of art (not to mention when rock stars were accomplished serious musicians and composers, unlike the majority of today’s autotuned stars who can’t play anything, drone over lifeless iMac-generated beats, and require an entire village to compose and score their songs).

As a strictly Ibanez person myself, I was disappointed to see the only representative of my (let's face it, budget-minded) brand, was one donated by Joni Mitchell.  I can only hope that it was used on the two or three songs of her's that I like.

The exhibition begins with Chuck Berry's  ES-350T (1957) electric guitar, which was used to record "Johnny B. Goode"; followed by Lady Gaga's custom-designed piano; Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Texas Flood" composite Stratocaster "Number One"; the guitar that Keith Richards is known to have used when the Rolling Stones appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show in 1966;  Flea's "punk" bass used throughout RHCP's career, and Jimmy Page's dragon-embroidered costume, which he wore during Led Zeppelin's live performances from 1975 to 1977.

In addition to Prince's iconic gold 'love symbol' guitar, included in the exhibit is the Purple One's 1980s "cherub" suit, and the famous "disappearing" Tele-style H.S. Anderson Mad Cat guitar he played on his 2004 show-stopping, jaw-dropping solo during the all-star tribute performance of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” for the induction of George Harrison into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  A performance which provides a perfect bookend to Hendrix's "flaming" finale, opening for The Who.  OK, blue-eyed soulsters, lemme see ya top this! Boom. https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y 

The remains of Kurt Cobain's Fender used on Nirvana's In Utero tour are on display, which he destroyed upon spotting Eddie Van Halen (another renowned guitar killer) in the audience.

Wall cards accompanying many of the instruments testify to the comradery among musicians in that so many classic instruments were passed from one to another out of respect for their craft and contributions, as well as collaborations that led to technological advances, e.g. Keith Emerson and Robert Moog, Les Paul with Gibson guitars, and Todd Rundgren's restorations for Eric Clapton and others.

*view many more photos at https://flic.kr/s/aHskTsXCvJ 

And no history of electric guitars would be complete without the reverse-strung Stratocaster that Jimi Hendrix performed "The Star-Spangled Banner" on at Woodstock, as well as at the Monterey Pops festival, AND the shard that is left of the Strat that he incinerated at Monterey Pops.  

A bit of trivia that was new to me was that the reason so many early guitars had hideous pale yellow finishes was because it looked better on television in the days of black & white.  Many musicians had theirs repainted after color tv came in in the mid-to-late 1960s.

Axes from other rock stars of note include The White Stripes' Jack White, Gerry Garcia's singular "Wolf" Irwin, Bo Diddley's candy apple red hambonin' "Twang Machine" self-modified box Gretch, Cheap Trickster Rick Nielsen's insane 4-bodied Hamer, many from Eric "God" Clapton, Ravi Shankar's sitar, Muddy Waters' "The Hoss" blood red Telecaster, the original and hugely influential erotic gospel axe-shredder Sister Rosetta "rock me" Tharpe (whose modified light Les Paul Gibson was later copied for Jimi Hendrix, The Who, AC/DC, and the Allman Brothers), and of course, the Beatles.

All together now: in one photo, appearing for the first time, the signature guitar used by Elvis Presley, flanked by those of George Harrison, and 50s rockabilly queen Wanda Jackson.

Drums and bass take a back seat (beat?) in the show, as do keyboards and brass, but still, respect is given with displays from notable kits from Keith Moon, Patti Smith's clarinet, the Mellontron used by the Stones on "2000 Light Years from Home" (which, for you youngsters, was an analog keyboard-operated instrument that played acetate taped notes recorded from any source, including human voices, used heavily by late psychedelic bands like Tangerine Dream and Genesis, and even a band that I was in [dating myself]), Louis Jordan's alto sax, Ray Manzarek's organ used on the Door's ""Light My Fire", Keith Emerson's knife-embedded "raped" Hammond organ and massive Moog synth, B-52 Kate Pierson's Farfisa organ (I stupidly sold mine for a mere $50, to buy drugs, of course) and a gold Steck grand piano used by pioneering rock pals Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard.

The exhibit's promo postcard features Joan Jett's guitar "Melody Maker" girl power guitar, which remains an important part of her onstage (& offstage LGBT) identity.

Creators and innovators of amps, pedals, and effects like feedback, distortions, fuzz, wah-wah and sequencing, were almost totally absent, despite their overwhelming influence on the development of rock.  No Ike Turner, Link Wray, Dick Dale, or any surf guitar innovators whatsoever. No Frippertronics or Enosification. Then again, the absence of any mention of sex and drugs in a show about rock stars is pretty glaring, also.

Contemporary rock is mostly absent, as is most post-80s, save Cobain and White and an obviously egregious curatorial plug for St. Vincent, who seems to be way out of her league surrounded by Clapton, Townsend, Beck, Hendirx, and Page.  And aside from Joe Strummer's Telecaster, with it's duct-taped strap and Jett’s Melody Maker, punk is not represented here at all, either because it was not deemed part of rock and roll (Johnny Rotten famously declared that punk was meant to be the death of rock and roll, but admitted that it failed by actually reviving it) or deemed unworthy. Or maybe they simply could’t afford to give up their instruments. But being enshrined in the Metropolitan Museum, though, would not be very punk, now would it?

#MetRockandRoll #guitar #rock #rockandroll #musician #musicalinstruments

#Flickr #guitar #rock and roll #metropolitain museum of art

[iesorno]

Martin Simpson – SKRAWL 1 cover

SKRAWL can be found on Kickstarter

  Anyone that’s followed zinelove or iesorno on any kind of social media knows I’m partial to a few creators including Phil Elliott and Nick Prolix who have both featured on the site and who I might have banged on about a bit…

When I saw Russel Mark Olson dropping hints about a magazine that would feature both, as well as his own work I was immediately interested, even more so when I saw the names of the others involved, many of them creators I was checking out on social media already. Then they blew through their Kickstarter goal on day one and added in Lucy Sullivan and Mark Stafford whilst also putting out a rallying cry dropping the names of some mighty UK anthologies that I love.

So, I thought I’d followed up with some questions to dig into it and flesh out their plans and ethos. You can see more details about the anthology and contributors at the end of the interview!

  Interview!!

ZL – You mentioned that the SKRAWLLORDZ formed after meeting up and chatting at the Lakes International Comic Art Festival and I was wandering what it was at that meeting that galvanised you as a group to get together and put out SKRAWL?

RMO – Away from the con, we were sharing an Airbnb. While individually, most of us knew each other, none of us knew everyone. But we all knew of each other’s work. I took my laptop and a microphone along in the hopes that at some point during the weekend-long convention we’d get a chance to all sit down together and talk comics. The Friday night before the con we recorded over an hour’s worth of discussion on topics ranging from individual process to the ins-and-outs of printing. From that conversation, and many more over the weekend, we bonded and formed the SKRAWLLORDZ. For the particulars, you’ll have to ask the group’s chronicler, Pete Taylor. We kept in touch and over the coming months the idea for a joint publication developed. Looking back, it was a pretty natural progression. Put a bunch of comic makers together in a room full of chimps on typewriters and eventually the chimps type out a note to the comic makers reading “Make a damned comic together, morons!”.

Escape Issue 5 Phil Elliott cover

Revolver cover by Shaky Kane

Pssst!

ZL – You’ve mentioned Escape, Revolver and Pssst! as inspirations, what is it you see in these that’s common to what you hope to achieve with SKRAWL?

RMO – Firstly, the magazine format allowed these great publications to stay nimble, agile. To bring in topical work that could address issues quickly and not get bogged down in exposition. The format allows for comics, journalism, prose, and the kitchen sink to sit side-by-side without being a jarring read. These magazines could capture a moment in comics and culture so quickly and effectively. We’d really like to be able to bottle that lightning.

Secondly, we loved the freedom to think about short form and long form comics. That’s the beauty of anthology mags. Ongoing stories and one-offs. If say, Nick Prolix hit on an idea that we wanted to run with, he could produce 5-8 pages every issue of a single thought or storyline while still being able to focus on his personal body of work. If say, he decided that he wanted to change tack for one issue, the melting pot magazine allows that. If he wanted to run with a political space thriller and dropped it into an issue of Slang Pictorial and had to elbow out the residents of Bouveray Town, readers might be a bit confused. The mag allows for that freedom of experimentation and for quick directional changes.

Tertiarily, collaboration. In future, we plan on doing much more of it. We’re all cartoonists, meaning we write and draw, and can letter, colour, do product design, the whole kit-and-kaboodle. We’re all confident with each other to send scripts around, share inking work, do colours here, or letter there. Many hands make light work.

Fourth, the opportunity to invite some incredible talent to add to the mags. To give both industry stalwarts and up-and-comers a chance to explore, or maybe dust-off stuff that’s been sitting around for years which has yet been able to find a home. At the moment, everyone is UK-based. But it’d be great to run with the international ethos of LICAF and bring Europeans, South Americans–hell, the world— to SKRAWL. Escape did that brilliantly. Something Pete said recently has really stuck with me. “I’m a fan of good comics. If it’s a good comic, we want it in SKRAWL.”

Lastly, they all had a bit of an edge. Hard to define, harder to capture. I suppose it boils down to risk. Risk in many forms. I think we’re all pretty comfortable with risk. Pssst!, Escape and Revolver were definitely happy taking risks.

Gustaffo Vargas – The Oak Tree from SKRAWL

ZL – As you’ve already blown through your first target and will definitely be putting out your first issue, what are your plans, if any, for the future?

RMO – The short answer: there will be more SKRAWL. The longer answer is a bit inchoate. We’re ironing out the details at the moment, but the things that we’re sure of, is that we have loved putting this together and want to do more. More contributors, more collaboration, wider reach. What we’re not sure of is output. Ideally, we’ll put out two a year. That might mean making the individual issues leaner, maybe 3 SKRAWLLORDZ per issue + guests, or the SKRAWLZ will do more collaborative pieces while guests can show off what they do best, or a combination of these things. We’re all involved in other projects, so we have to cut our cloth to measure, but we’re staying forward thinking. That’s not necessarily a hinderance. Ultimately, SKRAWL, as Pete said above, is about good comics. It wouldn’t surprise me if it naturally evolves. It probably will several times. But at its heart, we’ll do our best to take risks, explore, collaborate, and lift other voices.

  ZL – I’m always banging on about money, so I have to ask whether any of you will be making anything from this anthology and whether your future plans include paying contributors or using additional money to widen distribution or anything else you may have thought of?

RMO – Possibly not the soundest business model, but almost all of the money will be going to pay our guests and cover print costs. Anything that’s left over we’ll be using towards the magazine. That may mean figuring out distribution channels (we’d love for SKRAWL to act as an ambassador for the UK scene (even though we do plan on widening our net and bringing in international voices), so possibly translated editions), convention representation, promotional materials, marketing, or plugging back into guest rates for the next one. Ideally, we’d get to a place of self-sustainability. But print markets are increasingly tumultuous, new and established magazines bite the dust daily.  We might move towards a subscription model if we can get a few issues out on a trackable schedule, but these are all questions that we’ll be deliberating on once the first issue is in circulation. It’s exciting, wild stuff. Possibly a little mad. But no one stays in comics for the money.

Russell Mark Olson – Goldhorn from SKRAWL

ZL – Last question, I promise, what do you hope Skrawl will bring to the current marketplace for comics and the history of comics?

RMO – Maybe it’s just because we’re in the shadow of Covid-19, but this “feels” like one of those Moments in Comics. Distribution has been partially/temporarily disrupted. Books have been canned, pushed back, mothballed. Artists and writers are roaming the prairies, tasting the dust, listening to the ground for the tell-tale signs of buffalo, dipping their tin pans in streams new. Retailers have scrambled onto their rooftops, their eyes scanning the horizon for the arrival of the airlift helicopters. When we started planning SKRAWL, Covid had yet to hit the news, but by coincidence, we feel we’ve tapped into something, a moment, which is bigger than your average occurrences. How SKRAWL fits into that moment, we’ll have to wait and see. But there have been anthology periodicals which have managed to be more than just a genre vehicle, more than just a single-topical-issue-mag-of-the-hour. This is possibly–as were books like those mentioned above or RAW or Rubber Blanket–a time capsule of what was going on in the UK indie scene at this point in time.

RAW cover by Art Spiegelman

Rubber Blanket cover by David Mazzucchelli

Let me add a caveat to that. The UK indie scene is massive and has talent of which no single mag could possibly hold. The last thing we’d want to do is self-proclaim ourselves to be the keepers of the keys. Lemme tell you. Give us a set of keys and we will lose them faster than a hot minute. But our camaraderie, and our combined network means that all of those creators currently delivering gold are an email away from joining in on the fun. I guess we’re all at a point in our careers where we’ve been around long enough to have a decent grip on the ins and outs of book production but aren’t so swamped with phone calls from the big leagues that has allowed us to confidently produce something which we feel is a good and necessary addition to the indie market. How does that sound? Time will tell. Finger’s crossed in twenty years from now an aspiring UK cartoonist will find a bundle of SKRAWLS in her local Oxfam for a tenner, and she’ll take them home, read them, and then feel inspired to call her friends and say, hey, let’s make something special. That or “Christ, people didn’t know how to draw back then.” I’d be happy with either. Being remembered is being remembered, right?

Rosie Packwood – Ascend from SKRAWL

ZL – I’m sure they will be inspired! On which note, tell us some more about the details of the anthology.

RMO – Continuing in the tradition of Escape, Pssst!, and Revolver , SKRAWL is a comic anthology magazine featuring cartoonists, artists, and writers primarily from the UK’s independent comic scene. The magazine was launched on Kickstarter on August 1st and met its goal in under 24 hours. With a long list of up-and-coming UK talent as well as established professionals, SKRAWL promises to be one of the most exciting comic anthologies of the year.

The core of SKRAWL are the SKRAWLLORDZ (Mark Hughes (Silverbeard), Russell Mark Olson (Gateway City; Tripwire Award Best New Talent 2018; Yancy Street Award Best UK artist 2018), Nick Prolix (Slang Pictorial), Martin Simpson (Needleman, Pipedream Comics Top 10 Indie Comics of the Year 2018), Pete Taylor (Silverbeard) and Gustaffo Vargas (Manu, Pipedream Comics Indie Comic of the Year winner, 2019)) who formed during last year’s LICAF. The magazine will also feature guest spots by their chums, including UK-indie royalty Phil Elliott (Tales from Gimbley), Rosie Packwood (Bun), Jessica Lucas (Yours, Yesterday), Matt Simmons (Bastard Galaxia), and the Cartoon Museum’s Artist-in-residence, Mark Stafford(The Bad Bad Place). To further accentuate the magazine-ness of the anthology, John Reppion (Conspiracy of Ravens) and Lucy Sullivan (Barking) will provide an illustrated short folk horror story.

The SKRAWL Kickstarter campaign offers backers the chance to get on board the publication either as a fully digital or print edition, with retailer tiers for comic shops and bookstores. The magazine will be US format, (a bit bigger and a lot wider than a US comic– at 280 x 210mm) perfect bound, and currently sitting at a page count of 84… but we’d like to expand outwards a bit through stretch goals.

The campaign can be found on Kickstarter. Funding began August 1st and ends on Thursday, August 20th at noon BST. Digital backers can get the full magazine for £5, while the physical magazine is £12 (plus shipping). Retailers in the UKand EU can take advantage of the retailer tier which offers 8 copies for £48 (plus shipping). For more information, please email [email protected].

Gallery of contributors

What The Actual Folk – Mark Hughes art

Gateway City – Russell Mark Olson

Issue 1 page 23

A Carnival for the Lost – Martin Simpson

Monster Kids Show & Yell – Pete Taylor

MANU – Gustaffo Vargas

Illegal Alien page – written by James Robinson

Blinker – Rosie Packwood

Jessica Lucas illustration

Bastard Galaxia art by Matt Simmons

Lip Hook art by Mark Stafford

  all art copyright and trademark it’s respective owners.

content copyright iestyn pettigrew 2019

SKRAWLORD Russell Mark Olson talks SKRAWL to us @russell_m_olson @LucySullivanUK @johnreppion @marxtafford @SheriffFreak @pocketm0use @philselliott @jessicaonpaper @GustaffoVargas @SIMO_paints @nickprolix @theartofsok @thismanthispete SKRAWL can be found on Kickstarter Anyone that’s followed zinelove or iesorno on any kind of social media knows I’m partial to a few creators including…

#interview #scifi #shortlistinterviews #smallpress #womensart

[akxyaptn-blog]

Car accident insurance?

Car accident insurance?

I was in a car accident where I accidentally hit a car, i called the police but he didn t give me a ticket. The car insurance is under my moms name. The insurance expired on the same day at 12:01am and the accident happen around 11:00am. I guess the cop missed the expired day. The other car door was seriously dented. Will the insurance still pay for the other car since I didn t get no ticket. My mom did renew the insurance the next day.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

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[cryptiboy]

CRYPTIBOYS RANDOM MOVIE REC LIST

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Homer’s The Odeyssey, except set in 1930’s Deep South US. This one seems to be a big hit or miss with a lot of people, it’s got a lot of humor that might be hard to catch if you’re used to in your face stuff. Touches on racism, political corruptness, and the mistreatment of ex-convicts as well as the mistreatment of prisoners. Also, the soundtrack is amazing and is an experience all on its own. Like you can listen to the soundtrack by itself and it’s its own story.

Porco Rosso One of Miyazaki’s lesser known flicks. Also set in the 1930s, but in the Adriatic/Italy, it is, first and foremost, about sea planes, pigs of all kinds, and true love. Touches on the Great Depression, World War I, the impending World War II, fascism and corrupt governments, the morality of bounty hunting and piracy, sexism, PTSD, and discrimination. It has those trade mark Miyazaki villains you can’t help but fall in love with, as well as a few (read: one) you love to hate. You’ll know who I’m talking about when you watch it. Despite the topics it touches on, it is very, VERY light hearted and fun.

Expiration Date This one is set in my hometown, so it has a special place in my heart to begin with. A young man, who’s family has been cursed to be killed at a young age by milk trucks in freak accidents, knows his time of death is soon coming, and has made peace with it. Unfortunately, he falls in love, which really puts a damper on his whole being ready to die thing. If you like morbid humor, this movie is for you. Heavy themes of dying, mortality, love, and stalking.

Perfect Blue If you follow me you’ve probably seen me rave about Satoshi Kon before, but in cats you haven’t, this movie is one of the late and greats most popular, as well as possibly most disturbing. It’s not horror, per se, it’s more like a bizarre thriller that blurs the lines of reality and unreality heavily (as a plot device and boy does it WORK), but you’re probably gonna be feelin more than a little disturbed after you watch it. Hits on issues like the pressure of being an idol (specifically in Japan), rape, suicide, stalking, mental illness (especially depression, psychosis, disorders with hallucinations, and PTSD), violence, and gas lighting. Please be warned that there are rape scenes (one is attempted and the other is simulated for a TV show is isn’t actual rape, but it is still extremely graphic and disturbing).

Rent I know most of you probably know what Rent is, but lemme break it down for you anyway since it’s not only a good musical/movie, it’s a tremendous moment in history for LGBT awareness and rights as well as AIDS awareness. It’s New York in the early 90s, the AIDS epidemic is in full swing, and money is a little more than just tight. We follow a group of bohemian friends, their ups and downs, their happiness and tragedies. Topics of interest include: AIDS, LGBT issues (this is the whole kit and caboodle: lesbianism, bisexuality, trans issues, almost none of the main characters are straight), addiction, sex work, poverty, racism, sexism, violence against minorities, microaggressions, death, and discrimination. And the numbers are amazing.

Mirrormask If you’re a fan of Gaiman, you may know what I’m talking about. Everybody always says they want to run away and join the circus, but for our protagonist, she wants to run away from the circus and join normal life. You will either find it oddly charming or extremely disturbing and there’s really no way to find out how you’ll feel about it unless you watch it. Sometimes extremely disturbing is okay, though, so don’t let that deter you. It’s pretty fantastical, but how you interpret its contents is really up to you, whether you take them at face value or as a metaphor. Hits on issues like illness/surgeries, escapism, morality, parental abuse, being an outsider, and teenage emotions (and how absolutely fucked they are).

Honorable Metion: REPO: The Genetic Opera. I’ll let you find that one on your own, but be warned that if you go searching, you will be met with unholy and absolutely devestating amounts of gore. As in, it took me two or three tries to get through this movie because of how utterly disgusting the special effects are.

This SHOULD cover something for everybody, but if you want a certain genre rec hmu i just might have it

#movies #movie rec #reccomendations #movie recommendation #tax pose