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#and they’re right to. because we were shit to them and we are shit in general
sluttywonwoo · 2 days
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instead of you [part forty-one] || l.mh
pairing: [best friend’s brother] lee minho x college!reader ft. han jisung
summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either. 
warnings: swearing, angst, alcohol consumption, smut (18+ ; mdni)
word count: 3.2k
a/n: revamped my tom holland series from my main blog ( @wazzupmrstark ) to try and motivate myself to finish it!!
additional smut warnings: semi-public messing around, oral - m+f receiving
The other resorts along the shore were nice, yes, but they were also crowded to all hell. There’s no way you would have been able to relax at any of them. Not just because crowds make you anxious, but because Minho probably wouldn’t be able to show his face anywhere. He’d have to wear a hoodie to the pool or swim with a baseball cap on, and even those weren’t guaranteed to be foolproof. 
There were hardly any people occupying the outdoor spaces so late in the day so it was like you had the place to yourselves. You and Felix continued to play in the pool while Minho grilled steaks and Jisung worked upstairs. You offered to accompany Jisung while he cooked but he assured you that he was fine to do it himself. Sometimes you kept him company at home but you knew he liked to work alone as well. 
The room that you and Jisung were staying in was a standard hotel room but Nikki and Dom had a suite with a kitchenette that he could use to prepare the side dishes. 
You ate gathered around one of the fire pits as the sun sank beneath the waves in the distance. When it got too dark out, Dom lit the fire so that you could all see what you were eating. There were path lights littered around the resort but they weren’t bright enough to illuminate the adjacent sitting areas too. 
“I wish we had marshmallows,” you sighed. “We could roast them and make s’mores.”
“I think the bar sells little kits,” Jisung piped up. “I remember seeing a sign posted on their menu.”
“How convenient!” Nikki exclaimed. 
“Want me to grab some?” Minho offered, already standing from his seat. 
You had once again put yourself on the spot. Everyone was looking at you, waiting for your answer. 
“I-I’d feel bad. I’m the only one who wants them, so you don’t have to!”
“Don’t be silly, we’d all eat them,” Jisung assured you with a pat on your knee. 
“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to try s’mores,” Felix agreed. 
Your mouth dropped open in shock. “Wait, you’ve never had one?”
“They’re an American thing, babe.”
“Does that mean you’re the only other one here who has had a s’more?” you asked Jisung. 
“I might have had one before,” Minho added thoughtfully. 
“Might? You don’t remember?”
“Yeah, well, when we were on the first world tour we had a lot of bonfires and shit but I was pretty drunk at all of them so there could have been s’mores there, there could not have been. I dunno.”
“Anyway,” Nikki swooped in, averting the attention away from her eldest son’s anecdotes of underage drinking. “Minho, why don’t you go grab a few kits from the bar Ji mentioned? I think your father and I would like to try a s’more too.”
“How many do you think we need?” Minho asked. 
“It depends on how many each serves. Why don’t we start with two and if we run out of supplies we can send Felix up to get more.”
Felix made a face. “What, me?”
“It wouldn’t be fair to send Minho up twice,” Dom explained.
“What about Jisung?”
“He cooked dinner.”
“I’ll be right back,” Minho interjected, cutting Felix off before he could protest any further. “Does anyone want anything to drink while I’m over there?”
    He took everyone’s order and then disappeared in the direction of the bar. 
    “Do you think he’ll need help carrying stuff?” you whispered to Jisung after he left. 
“Oh, shit, maybe.”
“Should I go help him? Would that be weird?”
Jisung looked back toward his parents to check that they weren’t paying attention before answering. “No, I don’t think so. No one suspected anything other than me. Do you want me to go with you, though?”
“No, you cooked,” you reminded him, “you should stay and relax. I’ll go help him.”
He nodded. “Okay. Oh, but kiss me before you go.”
-
Minho was still waiting when you joined him at the bar. It was almost as deserted as the rest of the pool area. Only a couple of people were occupying the stools and they seemed to be strangers to each other, drinking in silence apart from the waves crashing on the shore nearby and the occasional sound of the blender.
“Hey, stranger,” you said, grabbing Minho’s attention with an elbow to his side. 
“Hey... did someone forget to ask for something?”
“No, I came to help you. We realized it’s a lot of stuff to carry all by yourself.”
He scoffed. “You doubted me?”
The bartender placed the drinks and s’mores kit down on the counter in front of Minho right at that moment, leaving both of you to size up all there was to bring back to the fire pit. 
“You could have carried all that without spilling anything?”
“Fine, maybe it’s good that you came,” he grumbled. 
“Maybe?”
He set his jaw and took a deep breath. “It is good that you came. Thank you for helping. Happy?”
“Ecstatic.”
You grabbed two of the drinks while Minho took the rest, holding the plastic bags of s’mores supplies between his teeth. 
Nikki and Dom cheered when you reappeared with everything. The twins looked marginally happier. It was honestly as much as you could ask for from them. 
You spent the rest of the evening teaching the Hans how to make, what was in your opinion, the perfect s’more. There were only a few skewers to go around so everyone had to take turns, but it was nice to be able to take your time with something and relax. There hadn’t been much time to do that on this trip. Jisung had warned you of that in the beginning but you were still way more exhausted than you expected to be at this point. At least it was almost over. 
The thought of the trip ending was one that you had been pushing to the back of your mind for weeks now. Especially now that Jisung knew what had happened, you didn’t want to think about what would happen when you went back home. Would you grow apart? Would he distance himself once he was no longer in forced proximity with you? Would Minho break up with you? It wasn’t just something you could ignore now. There were only a matter of days left. 
When it was over, you would go back to Seoul with the Hans until the summer ended officially. But that would be different too. 
“You’re burning your marshmallow, love,” Nikki said softly, putting her hand on your shoulder to get your attention. 
“Oh!” you exclaimed and pulled your skewer out of the heat. You blew the flame out and transferred it onto a graham cracker. 
“Do you want a new one?” Dom asked. 
“No, that’s okay! I like them burnt, actually. I just didn’t mean to leave it in the fire for so long. It could have made a mess.”
Jisung’s dad shrugged as if to say ‘suit yourself’ before taking the rod from you and reloading it with fresh marshmallows. 
If it was woodburning, the fire would slowly start to dwindle as the kindling turned to ash. Since it wasn’t, it was still burning as brightly as it had been at the start of the evening when Dom finally turned the propane off. Nikki collected the empty cups and dirty skewers to return to the bar. 
“Good night, kids. Don’t stay up too late.”
-
Felix was the first out of the four of you to go up to his room, leaving you with your best friend and... Minho. 
The pool area was completely empty by then. 
“I’ll uh, I’ll leave you two,” Jisung said and stood to leave. 
You grabbed his hand to stop him. “Wait, no, you don’t have to go.”
“Yeah,” Minho agreed, a little less convincingly. “You should stay.”
Jisung shook his head. “No thanks, I’d rather not third-wheel.”
“Ji-”
“Take as much time as you need,” he said to you. “Just don’t get fucking caught by anyone else.”
You waited for him to leave before slumping forward and sighing into your hands. 
“I thought you said he forgave you,” Minho whispered. 
“He did. That doesn’t mean he’s okay with it,” you sighed.
Minho leaned back and stretched his arm across the back of the loveseat, inviting you to sit with him. You crossed over to his side and joined him, allowing yourself to lean into his side. He wrapped his arm around you and squeezed your shoulder. It felt nice, to do something so domestic with him, even while sitting in complete silence. Still, you worried about someone seeing you.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked. 
“You.”
“What about me?”
“Just you.”
You didn’t want to give him the details and risk ruining the mood so you hoped he was content with that answer. Thankfully, he didn’t ask you to elaborate. 
You shivered suddenly, unintentionally but thankfully changing the subject. 
“Are you cold?” Minho asked. 
“A little.”
“Should I turn the fire pit back on?”
You shook your head. “No, it’s so dark out now. It’ll only draw attention to us.”
“I don’t want you to be cold, though.”
“I’ll be fine.”
Minho didn’t look convinced. “Why don’t we get in the hot tub? You still have your bathing suit on, right?”
“Are we allowed to?” 
He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”
You followed Minho over to one of the many hot tubs on the property. It was tucked away behind the now-deserted tiki bar and also totally empty. Minho turned on the jets and ventured down into the water, holding his hand out for you to get in behind him. 
You let out a sigh as you sank into the bubbling water, closing your eyes and resting your head against the pool’s edge.  
“Better?”
“So much better.”
You looked over to see him smile. “Good.”
You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you were warm. The chill had seeped through your bathing suit too. You could feel it ebbing out of the fabric as well as your muscles the longer you sat in the water. 
Minho settled next to you and put his hand on your thigh. It was comforting even though his hand was still cold.  
“This is nice,” he said. 
“It is nice,” you agreed. “I like being able to do just nothing with you.”
“We don’t get a lot of time to do that, do we?”
“No, not really.”
“Guess that just means we have to enjoy it while we have it.”
You sat up to look at him, wondering if he meant something more than what was implied when he said that. He met your gaze and gave you a questioning look. 
“What?”    You shook your head and sank further into the bubbles. You were reading way too much into everything. You needed to get a grip. 
“What’s wrong?” Minho repeated. “Talk to me.”
“I’m scared to,” you finally admitted. 
It wasn’t much, but you were finally being honest with Minho instead of skirting around his questions like you usually did. You could tell your answer hurt him but you were afraid that you’d hurt yourself even more if you told him everything. You had a feeling the conversation was going there anyway, though, and there was little you could do to stop it. 
“Why?” he asked.
“Because I don’t know... what we are?” You cringed as you said it. “And I don’t want to ruin things by asking, you know, because I like what we have going on and I don’t want it to go away but I also don’t want to get my hopes up by thinking we’re something that we’re not but sometimes you do things that make me think you want something more than... whatever it is we’re already doing but- mph!”
You were cut off with a kiss, like something out of a movie. It was brief, but enough to disrupt your train of thought. You stared at him incredulously, trying to read his expression. 
His face was even but his eyes were warm. You wished you knew what he was thinking. Moonlight and the flickering flames of torches in the distance were just enough to illuminate his features. The quirk of his cupid’s bow, the flutter of his long eyelashes... 
 “What was that for?” you inquired, even though you knew what it was for. 
“You were spiraling.”
You sighed, dropping your head into your hands. “I can’t help it.”
“I know,” Minho said softly. “For what it’s worth though, I feel the same way.”
You lifted your head to look at him again, your vision slightly blurred by the water dripping down your face from your wet hands. “What?”
He hesitated. “I feel... what you said. I feel the same way.”
“I don’t even know what I said,” you laughed. 
“Me either, but I got the general vibe of it and I’m in agreement.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I... I thought I was making it kind of obvious that I wanted something serious with you.”
“You never said anything outright, though!”
“Because I didn’t know what you wanted,” he explained. “You never said anything either.”
“Well, you’re the man!”
Minho raised an eyebrow. “Oh, we’re going there? The feminism just evaporates from your body the moment you’re faced with confrontation?”
“See, you get it.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m telling you now, okay? I want you. In all the ways you’re willing to let me have you.”
You swallowed hard, eyes burning. You didn’t want to start crying and you didn’t want Minho to see you crying so you kissed him again, with more urgency this time. You couldn’t think, hell, you couldn’t breathe, until he pulled away, leaving you wishing and hoping for more.
When your lips met for the third time, he pulled you under with him, just long enough to shock your senses. You gasped for air when you surfaced, pushing your wet hair out of your eyes.
“You’re not supposed to do that!” you scolded, sputtering as you shoved him. 
He stumbled backward onto the bench, falling seated again and pulling you on top of him. 
“You believe that bullshit?” he scoffed. 
“It’s not bullshit! It’s not good for you to put your head under the water in a hot tub!”
“I know people say that but why?”
“I... I don’t know why,” you admitted, “but I know you’re not supposed to.”
“See, you don’t even know!” You gave him a look. “Will you accept an ‘I’m sorry’ kiss?”
“That depends, are you actually sorry?”
He didn’t bother answering. Instead, he kissed you anyway, cradling the back of your head as he slipped his tongue past your lips. He tasted like s’mores and whiskey and chlorine, a combination so strange you couldn’t wrap your head around it. 
One of his arms dropped to your waist, wrapping around your body and pulling you closer until your chests were pressed together. You could feel him through his swim trunks, growing harder by the second. You were tempted to take him right there, but you were in public and having sex in a hot tub couldn’t be good either, right? That sounded like an infection waiting to happen.  
“Upstairs?” Minho asked breathlessly, lips only centimeters from yours. Not for the first time you wondered if he could read your mind. 
You nodded. “Yeah, upstairs.”
-
You dripped your way back to his room, shivering despite the thick towel wrapped around your shoulders. 
“Wanna hop in the shower?” Minho asked between kisses as he fumbled with the straps of your bikini. 
“Yeah, don’t want to get your bed all wet,” you replied. 
“That would happen whether or not we had just been in the pool,” he joked. 
“Hilarious.”
“Jesus, you’re freezing,” he hissed. “Let’s get these off of you, they’re so cold.”
“Is that the only reason you want them off?”
“I think we both know the answer to that.”
You knew Minho was expecting to have sex in the shower but you kind of wanted to fuck on the bed so you sucked his dick while he washed your hair and then took turns rinsing off before moving to his bed. You put your hair up in a towel to avoid the aforementioned wetness and wrapped yourself up in one of the hotel’s robes even though you knew it’d be coming right off. 
To your surprise, Minho left your robe on. He just undid the tie around your waist and let it fall open before shouldering himself between your legs. It was kind of like putting a towel down. He was killing two birds with one stone that way: protecting the sheets and keeping you warm. 
It didn’t take long for you to cum in his mouth. Minho knew your body like the back of his hand by now. It had taken him a fraction of the time it took your past lovers to learn what made you tick and he used all of that knowledge to his advantage. 
He kept going after you came the first time, eager to pull another from you, but you pulled him up by the hair to get his attention before he could get too into it. 
“Too much?” he asked. 
“Want you to fuck me,” you urged.
Thankfully, he was receptive to this and moved up so that he could position himself on top of you. He notched himself at your entrance and kissed you as he pushed himself inside, allowing you to taste yourself on his tongue before pulling away and wiping his face on your shoulder. 
“Ew!” you cried and tried to push him away. 
Minho looked offended. “What do you mean, ‘ew’? It’s you.”
“That doesn’t mean I want me all over what I’m wearing!” 
“Since when?” he joked. “Seems like it’s always all over what you’re wearing when you’re around me.”
“Can we please talk about something else?” you begged, suddenly embarrassed and grossed out at the same time. 
Minho laughed and pecked you on the cheek. “What would you rather talk about? The weather?”
You tightened around him as punishment, making him swear and bury his face in your neck. “Fucking hell, you succubus.”
You smiled politely and wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him closer. “Don’t people usually say that if she can talk at all, you’re doing it wrong?” 
He narrowed his eyes at you. “I was just taking it easy on you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, this was for your benefit,” he continued. “Didn’t want to overwhelm you.”
“How gracious of you.”
He clenched his jaw as he started fucking you faster, muttering sarcastically, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was boring you.”
Ironically, you couldn’t respond right away, too caught up in the feeling of how deep he was inside of you to get any words out. 
“I forgive you,” you choked out finally. 
Your hands fell to his biceps, desperate for something to hold on to. You dug your nails into his skin, making him hiss through his teeth. 
“Harder,” he urged. You squeezed harder and he gasped. “Fuck yes, keep doing that.”
“Like this?”
“Just like that, baby. That’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
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melrosing · 2 days
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What do you think of the Sansa bullied Arya take if you don’t mind me asking (just don’t answer if you don’t want to haha)
per my usual practice on Controversial Topics im putting this under a cut
At the real risk of that lot showing up in my notes again, I think this ‘Sansa bullies Arya’ pins their pre AGOT dynamic squarely on Sansa herself, rather than the way they are both being raised by the adults around them to behave towards one another. Sure, Sansa is mean to Arya sometimes during their childhood! We don’t have a lot of examples besides the oft-mentioned ‘horseface’ insults, but I think it’s fair to assume that more often than not, Sansa was looking down on Arya. Meanwhile, Arya herself feels inadequate and like she just can’t do anything right. She resents Sansa, but also worries that Sansa’s opinion of her may be true.
Fine. But where has Sansa’s opinion of Arya come from? Is it her cold black heart? Fucking no, it’s come from Septa Mordane, Catelyn, and whoever else surrounds them growing up. The men don’t seem to really give much of a shit how Arya acts because it’s not their business and she’s just a kid anyhow, but the women pointedly give many shits. In our first scene with Arya, Septa Mordane scolds her for not being good at ‘women’s work’, and there’s plenty to suggest that this is just another day in the life for Arya. Meanwhile, Sansa gets the carrot for excelling. Both Arya and Sansa are learning their own worth in this chapter, and the worth of one another. Sansa internalises the praise whilst learning that Arya is bad, and everything she mustn’t be. Arya internalises the criticisms whilst learning that Sansa is good, and everything she can never be.
They’ll be getting this from Catelyn as well. Catelyn clearly adores both her daughters, and will move heaven and earth to get them back in ACOK. But one good adjective for Catelyn is ‘dutiful’ - it’s in her house words, and it’s how she’s lived her life up to AGOT. Doing as she’s told, even when it pains her. She expects the same of her daughters, and finds those expectations satisfied in Sansa’s case, and apparently flouted in Arya’s. So again, from their own mother, Sansa internalises that Arya is bad, and that she, Sansa, is good. Arya internalises the same. If societal standards were reversed, perhaps it would be Arya lording over Sansa, but such as it is, it’s Sansa over Arya. 
Now, Sansa is a child. When children are told over and over that X is good and Y is bad, they generally don’t question it, at least until they're older and more experienced in the world. They will also parrot what they hear, often in graceless ways. Because they’re children. Sansa is told that Arya wilfully misbehaves because she’s bad, and so Sansa thinks: then I should look down on Arya. It sounds like Sansa mostly keeps her distance from her sister pre AGOT. Not always - they play together sometimes - but a lot of the time. She has internalised the teaching that Arya is an aberration, and as she herself knows the adults value obedience in girls, and she wants to please them so badly, the distance between her and Arya demonstrates to them just how good she is - she won’t descend to Arya’s behaviour. 
When Sansa does interact with Arya (pre Darry), we see her being a bit bossy - telling Arya what to do, etc. Sansa is replicating what she has seen the adults do with Arya, and is mimicking them to assert her own position as the good, obedient child. If Arya ever doesn’t want to do something, it can only be because she’s bad. 
[sidenote, it all really reminds me of these short stories me and my sister used to get read a lot as kids, called My Naughty Little Sister (lmao) by Dorothy Edwards. They're pretty old and I don’t think they ever got major circulation outside Britain, but for anyone unfamiliar, you can probably guess how these stories go. There’s an elder sister, good and obedient, who narrates short tales of her ‘naughty little sister’ doing terrible things like idk, making a terrible mess etc, and going ‘now I’m sure you [the child audience] wouldn’t do a thing like that!’ They’re supposed to be short morality tales for the children, and amuse the parent reading them aloud, who recognises the mischievous behaviour of the younger and is charmed by the haughtiness of the elder sister, who you can hear is narrating the incidents of her sister’s mischief with the disdain that she’s heard the adults do so, and is asserting her own good behaviour over said sister. And the whole fucking reason we were read these stories was because my younger sister was precisely the kind of kid who got up to all kinds of shit as a little kid (which now all of us find hilarious but DIDN’T AT THE TIME), and I was the elder sister like ‘my goodness how could she do such things as these!!’ (e.g. paint an entire bookcase with grout). It amused us both to see ourselves in the stories. You could say this was life imitating art, but I think this is simply an age old dynamic, familiar to many people with siblings: you would see how the adults spoke to another child in your family, and replicate their manner in an effort to come across as an adult. Except you weren’t an adult, so you weren’t always as graceful about it as they were. That is pre AGOT Sansa, to a T. And I’m sure that’s what GRRM, a child of three who had two sisters of his own, is replicating here.]
But I think there’s also a loneliness in being the ‘obedient child’. Doing as you’re told all the time can be boring, and living up to expectations is a lot of pressure. Sansa wants a companion in all that, but Arya has no interest in sharing in it. Arya is offering friendship, but from a place Sansa believes she can’t reach her sister - Sansa thinks she’d have to ‘descend to Arya’s level’ to accept it, and she can’t do that. You get a sense of Sansa thrilling in trying Arya’s ‘misbehaviours’ for herself when she quietly delights in behaving ‘as wicked as Arya’, but you see in this that she has to condemn such behaviours and herself for exhibiting them, all in the same breath. And in the end, I can easily imagine Sansa resents that Arya has more fun with their brothers than she ever does with Sansa herself: that the one sister she has is one she has nothing in common with. Sansa can’t find a like mind amongst her siblings, and so clings to Jeyne Poole, and the praise of the adults around her.
So with all that in mind, YES! Sansa is sometimes mean to Arya, and calls her horseface. That is because Sansa is a child, nobody is correcting her behaviour, and she understands that Arya is bad, and the way she behaves is frustrating to Sansa herself, so really what does it matter if she’s a little mean sometimes? She knows that she is good, because everyone says so. Even if she calls her sister a name now and then, she’s still the good child. 
AND THEN we get to Darry. And Sansa starts to see that society isn’t a song, and sometimes it doesn’t matter how good you are, horrible things can happen to you anyway. But she doesn’t want to believe that, because it would turn her world upside down, and her future would look a lot darker, too - Ned has not ended her engagement to Joffrey, and Sansa has to live for the foreseeable in KL. So when Arya doing the thing she ‘wasn’t supposed to’ (playing with Mycah) snowballs into a terrible miscarriage of justice where Sansa’s wolf is killed, Sansa rejects the notion that the songs could be wrong about beautiful princes, and shifts the blame onto Arya for that original 'misdemeanour'. The grief at losing Lady is terrible too (the wolves are meant to have a soul deep bond with the Stark children), and so the target of that grief likewise becomes Arya. What was previously a normal, childishly complicated sibling relationship gets twisted into something else.
This is where I think Sansa becomes different level of unpleasant towards her sister. She’s cruel about Arya’s loss of Mycah, tells Arya she wishes she were dead instead of Lady, etc etc. Arya is not giving as good as she gets here - she even tries to make amends with Sansa, but Sansa throws the offer in her face.
The reasons for Sansa’s behaviour are complicated, but not that complicated. She’s been raised to slot perfectly into this world, without ever being told what that world is really like. And when abruptly it turns out that what she’s being raised for is essentially the slaughter, she rejects it. She can’t see Joffrey as he truly is: she’s been told that princes are charming, that Kings are just, Queens are kind, and she herself will be a Queen. Sansa is going to be handed over to the Lannisters, and she’s going to live the song of her dreams, and the only thing between Sansa and the realisation of those is the thing that’s always been wrong: Bad Arya. Because again, if Arya isn't bad, then everything else is, and Sansa is in terrible danger.
No one is sitting Sansa down and explaining to her that Arya is not bad, just different from her, and that they should love one another - that there are dark forces here far stronger than them that could tear them apart, that the Lannisters are the greatest of them, and they have to fight together, not each other. Arya gets this talk, funnily enough, but not Sansa. Arya is asked to understand that Sansa is different from her, but Sansa is only ever taught to abhor that her sister as different from her. Where Arya is told to be wary of the court of King’s Landing, Ned leaves Sansa to continue her fantasies, and then, when he abruptly tries to put an end to them, he doesn’t bother to explain why. I’m not saying this is unforgivable on Ned’s part - he has a lot on his mind lol - but it’s quite obviously a major failing. Ned leaves Sansa in a fantasy world. It’s fucking Joffrey who has to step in and clarify for Sansa that actually, she’s been dreaming.
So as long as they’re together, Sansa is never able to come to terms with the fact that Arya was not the aberration, but rather, everything else was. In the absence of one another, they cannot reconcile over that fact. So yes, GRRM says they’ll have deep issues to sort through when they meet again, but those aren’t going to be the times that Sansa called her ‘horseface’ - they’re going to be about what happened since they left Winterfell, when their relationship was twisted by forces much darker than Septa Mordane. 
So no, I think the ‘Sansa is a bully’ diatribes are seriously tedious, because even if you want to insist that calling your sister ‘horseface’ a few times even qualifies, you can still accept such wrongs without deciding that that makes Sansa a fundamentally unkind person who cannot be reconciled with Arya and doesn’t deserve to be. It is on the page that the two of them miss each other. Like I genuinely cannot imagine going through everything Arya does in the story and then, upon reuniting with a sister I thought lost forever, deciding I’m actually still mad about the things she got wrong as a child that she herself has paid dearly for, both physically and emotionally. Like jesus fucking christ man. By all means let them talk about it!! But who do you think Arya is lmao
Tl;dr: Sansa is a kid in a society. She is not the arbiter of Arya’s place in society. She is not mean because she’s cruel, but because she has internalised the exact same things that Arya has, based on the example of the adults surrounding them. It just happens that those things were a carrot for Sansa and a stick for Arya. But then in the end, they weren’t a carrot for Sansa either.
tl;dr 2: clarifying once again - i am a jaime stan. i find the stark sister relationship interesting bc I have experience of a similar sisterly dynamic and find it interesting to see a version of that explored on the page. so if you think one has to be a sansa stan to observe all this then that kind of just demonstrates how dichotomous you've become on this issue lol like if I'm talking about takes I dislike re JB I don't generally feel the need to attribute them to JC fandom. let's all grow up x
tl;dr 3: no i don't hate sansa or arya, since i know these are both conclusions various people reach whenever i even mention these two. in fact i think they are both great girls! imagine
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squishytenya · 1 day
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semblance of touch - part three
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prologue - part one - part two
pairing - bakugou x gn!reader
warnings - cursing, training fights, descriptions of pain (but not injury), mild angst, mild arguments (title from sedated by Hozier), this one's a long one guys!
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The days after the conference had proven quite boring for the both of you. Since you had been hit by the quirk, you and Bakugou had been understandably banned from patrol. Effects from the girl’s quirk had proved too much of a liability to allow you two to risk your lives or health on the field. 
Stagnation wasn’t something Bakugou enjoyed. 
Something you could tell, because the man had been non-stop bitching for the past 24 hours. If he talked in his sleep, you were sure he would be complaining then too. He had exhausted all of his hobbies apparently (even though said hobbies consisted of gym work, studying and cooking - and that was being generous), and had resorted to sitting on the couch, watching your classmates go by. Not only that, he had been embellishing his people watching with foul mouthed commentary. 
You watched as his red eyes danced over where Midoriya and Ochaco were snuggled up on the loveseat opposite you two. You were sure, if you squinted, you would probably be able to see the cartoon steam bursting from his ears.
“Fucking Deku and his fucking girlfriend, do they have to do that shit in public?” he grumbled, bitterly. 
You rolled your eyes. 
“They’re not in public, they literally live here” 
“Still, get a fucking room”
You sighed, lifting yourself off of the couch. As much as the couple were slightly heavy handed on the PDA, you recognised that Katsuki was experiencing a weird off-brand cabin fever. And, to be honest, his complaining was pissing you off. 
“C’mon shithead, you need to get out of the dorms” 
You punctuated your instruction by running your fingers through his blonde locks and giving them a brisk tug. Bakugou sucked in a breath, one which you attributed to him trying to keep his anger under control.
“Kirishima!” you called for the redhead across the common room, “wanna come spar with us?”
The redhead in question immediately perked up at your suggestion. Patrols had been slow for everyone the past couple of weeks, ever since things with all for one had settled down it had mainly been low level criminals. Such criminals had proved consistently easy to deal with. Unfortunately, this also meant that it was not only Bakugou who had begun to develop that itch under his skin of wanting to do something more. 
Sero poked his head round the corner. 
“Uh, you mind if I tag along?” he questioned, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. 
Bakugou growled. A swift elbow to the ribs from you cut off his emerging protests before they had the chance to bubble over. The amount of time you had spent together had caused you to develop an effective balm to his sharp tongue, even for others. 
“Absolutely, we would love that” you smiled at the two boys in front of you. 
Sero cast an amused glance over to Kirishima, the both of them shared a small smile and nodded back to where you and Bakugou were standing. 
“Right, we need to get ready so move it or lose it, asshole” you sang and pulled your roommate along by his collar. 
— 
The training room was a welcome sight when you entered. Due to the nature of your incident, you and Bakugou had been without training for the past couple of days. The two of you rarely trained with one another, and hadn’t for the past three years of your schooling. Now that you were adults, and almost done with your education all together, you still had yet to be in a one-on-one sparring session with the loud blonde. 
Obviously, this wasn’t something you had taken much issue with, having seen the way he treats others during training. Unlike Kirishima, you didn’t have the non-metaphorical thick skin to be able to deal with those blows. There was no doubt that Katsuki was a force to be reckoned with in every aspect of his life. If you had to deal with the personal side of it because of your unfortunate situation, the training side can keep to itself as far as you were aware. 
The flow of aircon in the gym caused your loose tee to flutter around your torso as you stepped into the room. All four of you had elected for casual gym clothes rather than the more formal training uniform. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t help but let your gaze travel over your three companions. Sero, despite his deceptively lanky appearance, had elected for classic black gym shorts and a tank with obnoxiously wide arm holes - showing off not only his defined arms, but the lithe muscles of his torso too. Kirishima’s tight black training tee stretched over his defined arms and chest in a way that had you reminiscing of many conversations during girls night. He paired this with loose fitting red sweats that cupped his strong thighs nicely. Both of the men were impressive, and if they weren’t such good friends of yours, there’s no doubt you may have ogled longer. 
In Katsuki’s case, ogling couldn’t be helped. He had managed to wear more clothing than the other two combined, and yet show far more off. The neck of his tank was stretched obscenely wide, showing off the peaks of his collar bones and muscled chest. Muscle wraps were smoothed over his forearms, providing the stability his gauntlets would have usually provided if it was any other training session, and bright orange KT tape tangled around the muscles in his upper arms. The shorts he had on were almost sinfully short, the orange piping up the side of them shifted like silk over his wide thighs whenever he took a step. Under the shorts were a pair of compression leggings so tight they looked almost painted on. The leggings had teasing mesh cutouts on his lower thighs and in triangles up from his ankles - displaying heavily muscled calves. The tank bunched up at the waist of his shorts, which only proved to further accentuate his tapered waist that was so often on show in his hero suit. 
You gulped dryly. 
What was it that Mina had said last time you were watching the boys spar? Sluttiest thing a man can do is have a tiny little waist. Your brain helpfully supplied the quote, causing the skin of your cheeks to flush warmly. 
“Oy, why did you stop?” a gruff voice questioned.
“Oh uh sorry” you excused yourself, traipsing through the open gym door, “just thinking that’s all”
You didn’t miss the arched eyebrow you earned from Sero as you walked into the gym, he had obviously caught her staring. Their redheaded companion snickered slightly through a poorly hidden smile and you threw a dirty look his way - only furthering the man’s giggles. 
“What are you two chucklefucks laughing at?” 
You froze up, spinning on your heel to pat at your companions' clothed chest. 
“Nothing for you to worry about blondie, let’s get to training” you hurried. 
After an annoyed tut, it seemed you had convinced him good enough for you four to get on with what you actually went to the gym to do. As always, Kirishima and Bakugou paired up with each other for sparring which left you and your raven-haired friend to partner up with each other.
“They’re so well matched i’m almost jealous” Sero mused at you, both of you observing your friends immediate start into training. 
“He’ll never say it outloud, but Bakugou really does love training with him” you whispered back. 
Sero snorted. 
“Emotional walls are up so high he can’t even tell his bro he’s a good sparring partner”
“He can’t even tell Sato he likes his baking dude, just grunts like a caveman”
Sero chuckled from his stretching position, peering up at you with  humorous dark eyes. 
“He’s nice to you though”
You double took, avoiding eye contact with the man next to you. Instead, you focused on your calf stretches and tried to still your beating heart. That didn’t seem at all true in your mind. Bakugou had never particularly been nice to you. Of course, he didn’t treat you like complete shit, you were definitely higher up on his mental nice list than Todoroki and Midoriya, despite how far they had all come in terms of friendship.
“I wouldn’t say that” you muttered, “if anything these last couple of days have proved it”
“Oh really? We all saw the press conference”
You cringed at the reminder of the blunder. 
“He doesn’t talk about everyone like that”
“Please, he was pissed cause that woman insulted our hero work, he probably wouldn’t have said anything if it was just me”
Sero rolled his eyes, gracefully tumbling up off the floor. 
“If you say so” he conceded, “maybe you’ll see it the way we do someday”
You snorted, standing and pushing his shoulder away. 
“Okay Socrates, are we sparring or what?”
Within moments the two of you were at blows with one another. Both of your quirks, unlike the two men next to you, were more long-distance friendly so you had taken up the majority of the space in the gym. Sero’s tape had become all the more powerful after years of training at UA, as well as apprentice placements at agencies. Because of the range of your quirks, you two were even placed at the same agency for one of these - meaning not only were your quirks evenly matched, but your training capabilities too. 
You veered sideways, dodging a bolt of tape coming straight for you. The side of the tap had caught your lip slightly, causing a rivulet of blood to drip down your chin. 
“You’re getting rusty Hanta” you sang.
Using the spare bolt of tape to swing round and land a kick to his shoulder that sent him reeling across the floor. You landed down on the soft mat of the gym floor, pounced up on one foot and sent yourself flying through the air towards your target. The training may have been casual, and therefore not very high stakes, but Sero had been your friend since first year and you two had developed a friendly amount of competitiveness when it came to winning fights. Apparently, even playful ones. 
One of your feet came crashing down just an inch from his head, the other below his spread arm. The raven haired man looked up at you from the floor and he was obviously slightly dazed at your quick movements. Reaching down, you placed a hand on his chest and smiled up at him. 
“One, two, three” you counted, drawing out the three. 
“And he’s pinned, I win! Ding ding ding first round goes to me!”
You stood up and withdrew yourself from above your sparring partner. Said man grumbled as he watched you dance around, caught up in the glee of your victory. 
“Yeah yeah, rub it in my face why don’t you”
The tape-hero grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his sore back from where you had planted him on the ground. You beamed at him. 
“Don’t get salty cause you lost dude,” you teased, “I’m just the best, you never had a chance really”
Snickering from the other side of the gym caught both your attention. Kirishima and Bakugou had evidently taken a break from beating the shit out of one another and had apparently seen the end of the fight between you and your butt-hurt sparring partner. Which meant they had also seen the gloating and victory dance you had been performing just moments prior. 
Bakugou glanced up at you through blonde lashes. His gaze was never soft, so to say, not like the way Midoriya looks at Ochako, or even the way Kirishima looks at a good meat skewer. But there was something light and airy in there this time, akin to amusement you would say if you didn’t know any better. 
“You really let them beat you?” grumbled Katsuki to the man on the floor. 
Sero’s sputter was undignified. He waved his hands in protest, before the words actually managed to find their way out of his mouth - you interrupted. 
“What do you mean ‘let’, asshole? He didn’t let me do shit, I beat him fair and square” you huffed, squaring up to the blonde. 
He chuffed, standing up and strolled over to where you were standing. There was less than a foot between your faces now. Still, you were unphased. Defiantly, you poked a finger onto his solid chest and stood even straighter.
“Go on, if you think i’m so easy to beat,” you challenged, “you and me, sparring, right now - let’s go”
A chuff of amusement hit your face, the minty fresh breath of your future opponent did nothing to quell the butterflies in your abdomen. 
“I’ll squish you, princess, don’t even try”
You raised a brow, leaning on one hip and crossing your arms rebelliously. 
“Try me blondie” you snarked, “or are you too much of a pussy? Surely you’re not scared I might beat you”
That seemed to hit the right target. A growl emitted from the man in front of you, one that you weren’t even going to pretend wasn’t attractive. There was pretty much steam emitting from his skin at the challenge. Whoops. 
“Fine, but don’t cry when I win” 
“I’m not Sero”
“Hey!”
Said man's indignant cries of protest were ignored as you followed your challenger onto the training mat once again. Sure, Katsuki was a formidable opponent and sure, you had never actually sparred with him. But you were all best of the best for a reason. You deserved to be here just as much as he did. Plus, you knew your training was good and that you were an amazing fighter, this would be a piece of cake. 
Kirishima counted you both in but neither of you broke eye contact with the other. The soft glint from earlier had all but disappeared, replaced by the harsh determination you knew to expect from Katsuki - whether it be from the past couple of days or the last three years of being in class with him. 
Still, you tried your best to seem unphased. Katsuki was the type to find and exploit any opponent's weakness, as he had done several times in the past with actual villain encounters. And you were all too aware he wasn’t shy of using the same tactics during in-class training. 
“2-1, Go!”
Without a moment's hesitation, the blonde leapt at you from across the mat, giving you little time to dodge. You knew from training that he moved quickly but Jesus, that was a little much. There was hardly time to catch your bearings before he spun seemingly in midair and swung a crackling hand towards your face. You managed to doge again, grabbing the man's arm and using his momentum to swing him towards the training mat. 
Unfortunately for you, Bakugou grabbed the back of your tee as you pulled him over, slamming you onto the mat along with him. 
You felt the thin fabric of your t-shirt tear straight down the middle of your back, the rest of the fabric fluttering off of your body in torn rivulets. Not one to be precious, you tore the rest of the scraps off - leaving you in a tight training vest. The sweat dripping down your forehead was quickly wiped away and you steeled yourself for the incoming blow from Bakugou. 
Ever the opportunist, he had used your momentary distraction to swing his popping, crackling fist towards your stomach. Within the split second of seeing it coming, you knew there was no way you’d be able to dodge it. Instead, you tensed your stomach muscles the best you could and prepared to swing your own elbow into the side of his face. But as his fist and your elbow made impact - there was a blinding golden light that illuminated the entire gym. 
When your vision came back to you, excruciating pain emitted not only from your stomach, but also your jaw? 
The wind had been thoroughly knocked from your chest. Laying, gasping on the mat, you could only blink up as Kirishima’s concerned face popped into your field of vision. There was an attempt to communicate with him yet all you could manage was a pitiful whimper. The pain flowing through your body, pulsating from your stomach and jaw was overwhelming. Despite your excessive training having desensitised you to a lot of pain, this was unlike anything you had ever felt before. It was like molten lava was flowing from the impact spots on your stomach and jaw. Tears began to gather in the corners of your eyes. How embarrassing.
Katsuki seemed to be in a similar situation if the pained groans echoing from across the training mat were any indication. 
“Shit, Sero get Mr Aizawa, you’re quicker than I am” you heard Kiri’s concerned tone over your own heavy breathing. 
“I’ll get recovery girl too”
You were full on sobbing now, wracked breaths forcing their way out of your chest. It felt like every cell in your body was burning up at once, exploding into themselves like a collapsing star. 
“Katsuki” you whimpered, reaching towards the man across the mat. 
“Kirishima, bring him here”
Kiri looked concerned at leaving you in this state, but it was clear what you needed at that moment. For some reason, your body was yelling at you to be closer to Katsuki, even if him beating you up had resulted in this in the first place. 
Rustling could be heard across the room from you and you found yourself thanking the gods for Kirishima and his strength. The view of the redhead cradling his friend's writhing body in his arms made your heart race slightly, hoping that Bakugou wasn’t in as much pain as you were. His teeth were gritted and his eyes seemed hazy, unable to focus on anything in the room. It looked to be exactly how you felt, but he was handling it slightly better it seemed. You sniffed some of your tears back. 
Kirishima laid Bakugou next to you and you felt the pain in your body let up slightly. The tugging in your cells didn’t cease until you managed to drag yourself to curl sluggishly into the crook of the blonde’s arm. His body smelt like it always did, slightly muskier maybe but the subtle aftershave and bonfire smell stuck around through almost anything. Your body was screaming at you to make some kind of contact but you couldn’t bring yourself to move an inch. The pain radiating from your body pulsed and writhed through your muscles like scalding water, twisting your body into a painful shape on the mat. 
A muffled screech escaped from between your gritted teeth but you managed to pull yourself half on top of Bakugou. Your head hit his chest and he grunted slightly at the impact. Incessantly, the pain throbbed on through your muscles. Stupid fucking Bakugou in his stupid nun-ish exercise wear. He may as well have gone all out and worn a habit. 
You grasped weakly at the tank covering his torso, only to find your grip not strong enough to move it any considerable distance. A groan echoed above you. Katsuki had seen your struggle and was moving one of his outstretched arms to curl around your bare shoulders. 
As soon as his skin made contact with yours it was like a cooling water poured through your body, soothing the intense ache and burning it had been feeling. You were finally able to draw a proper, painless breath into your aching lungs. Never again would you take that ability for granted. The pain hadn’t yet fully left your body, still sore like an old bruise. There was no way of telling what the damage actually looked like but you were sure it wasn’t good. 
The door of the gym slammed open, your capture-weapon clad teacher marching his way towards where your two bodies collapsed on the floor. Coughing weakly, you flitted your eyes up to meet his. The older man grumbled, sitting on the floor next to the two of you. 
“Why can’t you two go five seconds without getting into trouble?”
You chuckled weakly, still under the hostage of Bakugou’s arm. The man himself grumbled underneath you in a weak attempt at protest. 
“You think we do this shit on purpose?” he snapped, half-heartedly. 
“That or a cruel trick of fate,” Aizawa muttered. 
“A solid possibility,” you groaned, “but i’d rather it not be that”
The ensuing argument was interrupted by the arrival of recovery girl and a very out-of-breath Sero. The small woman pursed her lips at the two of you. Obviously, you were a sight to behold - a tangled pile of limbs and fabric breathing heavily on a training mat. It still felt like all of the energy had been zapped out of you, even if the pain was lessening more and more by the second. The tear tracks on your cheeks had dried out by now and were uncomfortable crusty on your face. You would definitely need a shower after this. 
“There’s nothing I can do here” 
Katsuki’s arm tensed around you and you could feel the snarl bubbling up his chest from where your head was laid. 
“What do you mean there’s noth-”
“You’re not injured” she stated, quite promptly, “there is nothing physically wrong with you for me to heal”
“Recovery girl” began Kirishima, “what happened then?”
It was clear seeing two of their close friends in pain had shook Kirishima and Sero up slightly. The taller man was leaning into Kirishima’s hold, gnawing at his lip. Kirishima, meanwhile, had wrapped one of his strong arms around Sero’s shoulders and was rubbing his hand up and down his arm comfortingly. You reached up to pat at Hanta’s leg, the closest attempt at comfort you could scrounge from your fatigued body. 
“Despite their quirk incident earlier this week, these two thought it would be smart to try and train with each other,” recovery girl explained. 
She sounded sick of your shit. Not that you blamed her. 
“And in doing that, they caused a quirk reaction”
You groaned. The explanation seemed so simple when it was laid out in front of you like that but it hadn’t even occurred to you not to spar Katsuki. The quirks' effects weren’t exactly wearing off, but the ache in your wrist where the girl had grabbed you had disappeared completely as you two had been staying close enough to one another. You supposed it was odd to forget about it but you only wanted to get back to training. 
“And in doing so, have shortened the distance allowed between them” 
“Oh my god” you groaned, thumping your head down onto the mat this time. 
“This would never have happened if you didn’t get so cocky,” Bakugou complained. 
You shot him a look as best you could from face down on the mat. 
“If you weren’t such a prick, I wouldn’t have responded like that in the first place, would I?” 
Aizawa leaned forward and pinched both of your ears. 
“Stop whining, you’re both at fault. Now go back to the dorms”
Both of you huffed like children being scolded by a nursery teacher. With Aizawa, it still felt like that sometimes, despite the fact you were now all technically pro heroes. Still, you rolled out from under Katsuki’s arm and tried your best to stand. 
In doing so, you leaned too far away from him and your wrist started flaring with the familiar burning sensation. You hissed and gripped the appendage, bringing it and yourself closer to Bakugou. 
You looked at your wrist in disbelief. 
“That was barely three feet” you whispered, meeting eyes with recovery girl. 
She tutted. 
“You made your own bed dear, time to lie in it”
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taglist - @yizhoutv @champagnetvstes @lexmarine @shadowsingers-redhood @h0nestly-though @bby-chloe1999
sorry this one took so long! I was doing uni exams but I should be pretty much free (apart from work maybe) for the rest of the summer soooo! comment or send me an ask if you want on the taglist for the semblance series
I've also completed the first chapter of Kirishima's section of the choose your own path series so lmk if you want to be tagged in that! replies and reblogs are much appreciated muah >3<
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apas-75 · 10 hours
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So last night I finished reading Rise of the Red Blade for TotE Vibes Research purposes and the two Inquisitor characters in it really illustrate exactly why I think Barriss is going to survive and escape them.
Because the thing is that there are two kinds of Inquisitors! The ones who volunteered, and the ones who...didn’t. Iskat (RotRB’s focus character) perfectly exemplifies the first type: she had some traumatizing experiences at a young age, fell through a number of institutional cracks in the Order, had a really terrible master (meet me in the pit, Sember Vey), everyone was too busy to give her the follow-up they would under normal circumstances, Palpatine had an agent actively gathering information about her and pushing her to become Worse—she was a pre-selected candidate who was offered the choice to come quietly when Order 66 hit, and she took it. By that point all of her issues and doubts had been exacerbated to the point where it wasn’t hard for her to make herself hate the Jedi, and then she rationalized her way through any indication that her freedom was a lie and doubled her way down right into hell.
By contrast: Tualon, Iskat’s crechemate situationship guy. He had some issues but was not someone on Palpatine’s radar; Iskat left him to die in Order 66 and he survived getting shot by darksiding out about her betrayal. Because of that he was taken alive and they did some shit to him. When Iskat runs into him at the Inquisitor HQ after he’s freshly-inducted he can barely remember why he hates her, or anything else from before he was taken. He woke up in the room where you fight Trilla and they fully shattered him and glued a semblance of a person back together out of the wreckage, just COMPLETELY Winter Soldiered the guy, and the only way he had to cope with it is to lean into a weird codependent situationship with Iskat.
And that distinction’s always been there with the Inquisitors; you have the true believers who ended up hating the Jedi or wanted to go on a power trip (or had the kind of revenge plan only a 12 year old could come up with and then stick to for a decade, in one case) and didn’t need any additional coercion to volunteer, and you have the ones that they broke. In the former group you’ve got the Grand Inquisitor, Reva/Third, Lyn/Fourth*, Fifth, and Iskat/Thirteenth. For the most part they’re certified freaks, but they came by it naturally. (Reva’s a different flavor.) In the latter, you’ve got Trilla/Second, Seventh, Masana/Ninth, Tualon, and probably most of the others. They all got disassembled and reassembled without much care given to the process and are all Coping with it badly in different ways, whether by deciding it’s Empowering, Actually (Trilla & Seventh) or by becoming completely jaded about everything (Masana & Tualon).
(*We obviously don’t know a lot about Fourth yet, but the fact that she shows up to recruit Barriss while rocking yellow dark side eyes before ROTS is even over tells me she’s definitely a volunteer.)
All this is to say: The Grand Inquisitor is making a colossal mistake with Barriss from the drop, and it’s why I think she’s going to win their battle of wits and escape. Because he is treating her like she is an Iskat and she could not be any farther from it.
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He sends Lyn to get her to come quietly! They actively withhold information from her about what happened to the Jedi and what her expected role in it is! That’s not how they recruit the ones they think will be a problem; if that were the case she would have been stunned out of hand and woken up on a rack.
Instead, he’s giving her special attention,, he’s training her—he doesn’t think they need to break her. She’s just got a few...pesky hang-ups from her time as a Jedi that need ironing out**. He’s projecting on her; he doesn’t just want an empty shell holding a lightsaber—he wants Barriss Offee, loyally kneeling at his side, fully believing in their mission. She’s his favorite.
(**That “mercy only breeds defeat” line isn’t just a generic darksidism; I’m pretty sure he’s directly critiquing how Barriss got caught because she showed mercy to Asajj Ventress.)
And surely that's something he can turn her into, right? Because she hates the Jedi, right? She attacked them, she outsmarted them, obviously she’d be down for wanting to wipe them out! He was there when she confessed and, like pretty much everyone else in the room save for Ahsoka, he didn’t hear a single word that she said—just what he wanted her to be saying. He’s got a deeply incorrect idea of her, and that idea is “she’s just like me for real.”
And he’s wrong, because the Inquisitorius is everything she feared the Jedi Order was becoming—literally, an army fighting for the dark side—and the Empire is everything she knew the Republic was becoming. She might be prone to despairing, it might in some hypothetical be possible to get her into the same resigned despair trap as Anakin, but she would never actually want to serve the Empire, and they don't think they'll have to try hard to convince her to.
She loves the Jedi, she loved being a Jedi, she wanted to save them. She wants to be one again more than anything even though right now she thinks she doesn’t deserve it, thinks that she’s already too broken to reclaim what she was. But I think being surrounded by actual fallen Jedi and being told over and over again that she’s like them is, in the end, going to be what reminds her that she never stopped being a Jedi in the first place.
And as long as she can make sure her captors don't realize that's true until it's too late, she'll be home free.
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charliesloser · 2 days
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HAPPY LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK BITCHES!! i bring you angst.
——
Redemption
Chaggie x Emilute
——
“But she was right, Sera,” Emily sang, hopodiah up the paper, “she showed us a soul can improve, he saw the light Sera,” she flew up, “checked all the boxes the you said would..” Emily continued and Lute felt guilt coming up in the pit of her stomach.
“It’s not fair, Sera,” Charlie jumped in, a mix of determination and anger spread on her face.
“Careful, Charlie, keep a cool head,” Vaggie placed a hand on Charlie’s shoulder.
“No!” Charlie pushed her hand off and walked forward, “don’t you care, Sera? That just because someone is dead, it doesn’t mean they can’t resolve to change their ways! Turn their backs, escape infernal blaze!”
“I really wish it could be so, but there’s a lot that you don’t know!”
Lute knows she’s gonna retreat this, but she chimes in as well, “what are we even talking about, some crack whore who fucked up already?!” Lute avoided Emily’s eyes, “he blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth this discussion is sensless and petty!”
Adams jumps up and the two start singing, “there’s no question to be posed, he’s unholy case closed, did you forget that hell is forever?!”
Adam smirks, “a man only lives once, we’ll see you in one month!” He steps closer to Charlie, “gotta say I can’t wait to..”
“Adam..” Lute mumbles under her breath.
“Come down an exterminate you!”
“Wait!” Emily flies down.
“Shit..” Lute looks away.
“What are you saying? Let me get this straight, you go down there and kill those poor souls?” Emily was furious.
“You didn’t know?” Charlie tilts her head.
Lute takes a deep breath, “guess the cats out of the bag,” she puts on a fake smile.
“What’s the big deal?” Adam smirks.
“Sera,” Emily looks at Sera with pleading eyes, “tell me that you didn’t know.”
Sera flew down there, “I thought since I’m older, it’s my load to shoulder!
“No..”
“You have to listen, it was such a hard decision!” Sera reached her hands out but Emily pulled away, “I wanted to save you, the anguish it takes to do what was required!”
Emily clenches her fists and starts flying, “to think that I admired you, well I don’t need your condescension, I’m not a child to protect! Was talk of virtue just pretension? Was I too naive to expect you to heed the morals you’re proveying?” Emily flies down to Charlie.
Charlie nods, “that’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!”
They grabbed each other hands, “if hell is forever then heaven must be a lie! If angels can do whatever and remain in the sky! The rules are shades of grey if you don’t do as they say, when you make the retched suffer just to kill them again!”
“I was told not trust in angels,” Charlie gave Vaggie a soft look and she gave the princess a look of guilt.
“By her?” Adam smirks.
Lute knew she was in deep shit so she just doesn’t care anymore, “ha! She should go,” she smirks and places an arm on Vaggie.
Vaggie pushes her off and walked closer to her girlfriend, “we should go-”
“No!” Charlie grabbed her hands, “don’t you see we’ve come so close? Look at them fighting, they’re at each others throats!”
“Don’t you act all high and mighty,” Lute and Adam circled Vaggie, “did you ever think your little girlfriend might be a liar?” Adam smirked.
“Adam, don’t, please..”
“What’s the fuss?” Adam walked closer to her, “why hide the fact that you’re an angel just like us?” Lute pulled on Vaggie and made her face Charlie with a smirk.
Charlie had a look of anger, confusion, and terror in her eyes as she fell to her knees. Her hands were in her face as she starts crying and Vaggie runs to her, wrapping her arms around her.
——
The portal closes as soon as Charlie and Vaggie are back in hell. Vaggies heart is beating and Charlie’s eyes are red and puffy from crying. A lot was revealed today, and neither of them know how to feel.
“Charlie-” before Vaggie can even get a chance to speak, Charlie walks out of their room. She groans and plops down on the bed, her face in the pillows.
There was a knock on the door, “go away!” Vaggies voice was muffled because of the pillows.
Despite what she had said, Angel barged in. “Hey, so Charlie just ran out of the hotel with her horns and tail out. Mind telling me what happened?” Charlie usually only has her demon form out when she’s really stressed or emotional.
“I. Don’t. Want. To. Talk.” Vaggie mumbles into the pillows.
“Talkin’ about it will make ya feel better, toots,” Angel sits on the bed.
Vaggie sighs and rolls on her back, looking up at Angel. She knew he wasn’t gonna give up. “So, let’s just say a lot happened at the meeting,” she sighs and he gave her a look that tells her to continue, “well, apparently no one but the head seraphim and the exorcists knew about the exterminations.”
“Oh?” Angel crosses his arms.
“And we used you as an example, but they still believe that no soul can be redeemed,” Vaggie rolls her eyes. She left out the one part that Angel deserves to know, and Angel picked up on that.
“Is that all?” He tilts his head.
Vaggie takes a deep breath and stands up from the bed, looking out if the window. “No, there’s..” she turns to look at him, “there’s something else that I need to say,” she sighs and Angel nods, “it was revealed that..I used to be an exorcist angel.”
——
Emily’s in her room, her head pounding and her heart racing. There was so much that was impacted in that meeting and she doesn’t know how to handle it all.
There was a knock, “come in,” her voice was soft and the door opened and shut. Her back was facing the door and she was sitting on her bed so she couldn’t see who walked in, but she didn’t need to see. She just knew who it was because it’s the same person who comes to see her after every meeting.
Lute takes a deep breath, “Em, I-”
“I don’t want to hear it,” Emily stands up and turns to face Lute.
“Please-”
“No! You’ve kept something from me you knew that I deserved to know! These exterminations have been happening for god knows how long, and you didn’t tell me!” Emily snaps, “those souls, human souls..they don’t deserve that, demon or not!”
“If you understood-”
“What I don’t understand is-” Emily sighs, “what I don’t understand is how you could keep something like this from someone you fell in love with.”
“Emily, please-” Emily ignores Lute and flies out her window.
Lute clenches her fists and throws her helmet on the ground.
——
Charlie returns to the hotel. Her hair was a mess and she had dark circles under her eyes. Vaggie looks over, she was sitting on the couch with Angel.
Charlie yawns as she drags her feet to the bar, ignoring Vaggie and Angel. She isn’t one to drink, but she really needs this.
Husk raises an eyebrow as he makes her a drink, something light since she isn’t really used to it, and hands it to her, “you look like shit.”
Charlie groans, “you have no idea,” she takes a sip of her drink and makes a weird face, shaking her head.
“I heard..what happened,” Husk sighs, “do you wanna talk about it?”
“Depends..is she here?” Charlie asked.
Husk shakes his head, “Angel took her out..she looked like she needed a break.”
Charlie scoffs, “she needs a break? As if she didn’t lie to me for years? We share everything together, she should’ve known that I would’ve understood if she told me that she was an exorcist angel.”
Husk opens his mouth, but closes it, trying to figure out what to say. He opens it again, “well, did you try asking her why she didn’t tell you?”
Charlie looks down and shakes her head, “I’m..afraid of her answer.”
Husk sighs, pouring himself a drink, “you know,” he takes a big drink, “it’s okay to be scared, that’s apart of life..but so is talking. Relationships aren’t always so perfect. Fights and mistakes are what makes them healthy and special. I’m not saying that you need to fight 24/7, I’m saying that..you guys will overcome this situation. All you need to do is talk it out.”
Charlie sighs. She knew that Husk was right and she nods, “when did you get so good at this relationship stuff?” She jokes with a smile.
Husk smiles back as he looks at Angel, who’s talking to Vaggie, “since I got into one myself,” he looks back at Charlie, “now, go talk to her. Make things right.”
Charlie nods, taking a deep breath before standing up. She slowly makes her way to the couch and Vaggie looked up from her conversation with Angel, making eye contact with Charlie. Charlie holds her hand out with pleading eyes and Vaggie doesn’t hesitate to take it.
——
Lute finds Emily on the top of a mountain, but not just any mountain. It was the mountain Emily took them in their first date, before they made it official. Lute remembers it like it was yesterday.
Emily had taken them to the tallest mountain in heaven to have a picnic. She decorated it so the trees lit up and the pink roses were brighter than before. Back then was so easy, Lute thought. Never in a million years would she had thought that Emily found out about the exterminations.
Without saying anything, Lute turns to fly away, thinking about how stupid this is, but she stops herself when she hears a voice, “you know..” Lute gulps and turns to look back at Emily, “maybe I overreacted.”
Lute tilts her head as she sits down next to Emily, their legs hanging off the edge of the cliff. “What do you mean?”
Emily sighs as she stares at the city of heaven, “maybe I overreacted..” she repeats herself, “after finding out about the exterminations,” she pauses, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped, it’s just..we’ve been dating for a few months and you’ve..kept something from me that goes against what I’m trying to stop.”
Lutes breath is shaky as she opens her mouth, but then closes it. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t find the right words.
The two were quiet for like 15 minutes, neither knowing what to say. Until Emily opened her mouth, “can we just..forget about everything?” She takes a glance at Lute, “maybe I overreacted, I just-”
Lute takes Emily’s hand into her own, “it’s okay, you didn’t overreact. I should’ve told you about the exterminations to begin with, I acted stupid,” she sighs, “I’m sorry, I really am.”
——
“I’m sorry, I really am,” Vaggie speaks, her voice is quiet and soft. She and Charlie were sitting on their bed, “I’d understand if you didn’t forgive me, or if you needed time..I should’ve told you, I was just scared, and..”
“Vaggie-” Charlie tries to cut in.
“When you found me that day, you were so nice to me..”
“Vaggie-” Charlie tried again.
“I just..I don’t understand..how you could be so nice to someone you knew nothing about. I didn’t tell you because I was scared..scared of losing the best thing that happened to me..and I’d understand if you wanted t-”
“Vaggie!” Finally, Vaggies eyes meet Charlie’s. She was expecting a look of anger and disappointment, but she was brought a look of love. Charlie cups Vaggies face, “it’s okay,” she whispers, “I promise..I overreacted and I should’ve let you explain. I was hurt, but I’m not now. I just..wish you would’ve told me sooner, and I would’ve preferred finding out from you and not some prick,” the princess smiles when she hears Vaggie let out a chuckle. She presses a kiss onto her forehead before pulling her in for a hug, “I love you.”
Vaggie smiles for the first time in a few days, “more than anything.”
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GRAPHIC STORY TIME UNDER THE CUT
TW : boils ; swelling ; infections ; major TMIs ;
So to start off, I have this hormonal problem where my body for some reason gets boils everywhere and anywhere from the neck down. Now, for those of you who have the same issue or have gone through the same thing, I’m praying for you. For those who don’t know, it hurts… so bad.
The past week I’ve been suffering with a boil right at the edge of my ribcage and underneath my boob(my boobs are rather large, which doesn’t make things any better). The first half of the week, it was bearable, it was sore, but not too bad.
Fast forward to today, and it has swollen on the top to the size of a dollar coin, and underneath the skin, it’s swollen to the size of a ping pong ball, and the bruising has expanded the size of a tennis ball. It HURTS. My boobs are constantly rubbing against it, and at this point, the top layer if skin has literally been chaffed off from the constant friction of both my boobs and my bra when I have to wear one.
If I was at my old job, I would have called out, but alas, I just started a new job, I’m on 90 day probation, so I’m scared to call out. So I go in. I am in TEARS as I leave my house, but I don’t want to lose my job, so I pull aside my crew leader (love her so much, she’s amazing) at the start of the night and ask her if I can be on light work. She agreed.
Fast forward an hour into the shift, my back hurts from trying to stand a certain way to relieve some pressure, but I am in so much pain that once I go out on break, I full on cry like a baby in my car. Like, hyperventilating, sobbing, blubbering, I’m a mess. I call my mom, I’m crying to her, don’t know how she understands a thing I’m saying, but she tells me to do what I think I have to do to not be in pain.
SO
I go in, not even finishing my break, I find my crew leader, still crying btw, and I ask if I can talk to her in the office. She agrees, and I get to the office, and I tell her that it’s really bad, I can’t take it.
Now, the cool thing about my job is that we have a medical office and first responders literally ON SITE, they just be working there as normal people until there’s a medical emergency.
So she calls the first responders and the two sweetest, loveliest ladies come up to the office, and they’re trying to calm me down first. It doesn’t work but A+ for maximum effort.
They’re contemplating whether to send me home or not because it is my 90 days (and in their defense, a lot of people bullshit being hurt to try to go home early). So they ask to see it, and lemme tell you, the audible gasps that left all 3 women’s mouths, that shit had me feeling like I was about to die on the spot. (Turns out they were just genuinely shocked and concerned that I came into work, and this was when I still had a bandaid on over it.)
So they take me down to the medical office, and they carefully take the bandaid off, and again, the GASP when they saw the big picture. They were so apologetic even though it wasn’t even their fault, and they were trying to figure out what to do because they didn’t want to touch it or hurt me more. They ended up just putting ointment on it and then gauzing me up like I’ve been shot, but I love them all for how kind they were.
They were offering to drive me home and everything and they told me not to worry about the 90 day thing right now and to just focus on fixing my problem and going to the doctor as soon as possible to get checked because my boil is definitely infected and they don’t want me to go into septic shock.
They even walked me out to my car and made sure I was okay with driving before going back inside.
Like, this job is amazing! Not the work, all work sucks a majority of the time; but the people that I work with genuinely care. I’ve only been there a week and everyone greets me with a smile and they just all care about one another.
I might be in severe pain and on the brink of sepsis, but the people at my job care and that makes my heart feel good. I have to go to the doctors tomorrow though, so not excited for that at all. :(
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pinazee · 1 day
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Who ya gonna call? (The DID/trans ep)
Ill be honest i was nervous to rewatch this one but turns out it held up better than i thought. I mean, the worst of it is that the DID person is the murderer but that was such a common tv thing back then for procedurals. Every one had to have a DID ep, even though, as Psych points out, its so exceedingly rare. I get it, its a fun concept, but yeah, don’t make them the violent ones when 9 times out of 10 they’re the victims of violent crimes. I will say though, Psych made sure to include they were getting the help they needed and they really didn’t have to.
But what a cool way to show it though, having the other personalities act like ghosts. It feels very poetic. And to have one personality trans is such an interesting layer on top of it. It really can’t get more complicated than that.
This episode also tells us so much about Lassiter! Hes trying desperately to win back his not-yet-ex wife its kind of heartbreaking. We’re starting Psych right at the beginning of Lassiters downfall. He gets separated, has an “affair” with his partner who gets reassigned because ppl found out thanks to Shawn, and i believe its later implied he lost the promotion to captain because of that affair. And then Shawn comes along and he’s solving his cases. I have to wonder though, since we see in this ep how distracted he can be when he has personal issues, if Lassiter isn’t necessarily a bad detective in the beginning but just going through some shit and missing things. It kind of makes me understand why he’s so hostile to Shawn in the beginning. Not that thats any excuse. Just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t mean you get to shit on other ppl’s. And it was fun to see lassiters and Juliets miscommunication. It was nice to see them easing into their partnership, and allowing friction, particularly:
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What was henry going to do if that kid just started wailing on shawn??? Honestly, probably would have tried to teach shawn how to hit back and would’ve got him pummeled.
Its kind of funny that in this ep Shawns all this guy believes in ghosts, hes crazy, when in later eps he’s so excited about aliens and bigfoot haha. I can only conclude Shawn doesn’t really believe in anything supernatural but definitely wants to. I think it would have been better if Shawn didn’t think the guy was crazy right off the bat but maybe had a stalker, or intruder. (P.s were the writers implying Shawn was right from the beginning and they were crazy, or was that just poor wording??)
Sidenote: Shawn just casually spoke german and seemingly understood her response. He probably simply knew enough to impress her, but still. He does this a few times i think in the series where he lets it slip how much he actually knows.
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cryptvokeeper · 2 years
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don’t get me wrong I think the general interpretation of Leo being like “I put up a cocky front but deep down I don’t actually think I’m that great and that’s why I have something to prove” is good. It’s cool, plenty of drama/angst potential and probably what the creators were going for, I’m here for it.
But there is a distinct appeal to me of the slightly-to-the-left interpretation of Leo being like “it’s not a front, I know I’m that good/smart/skilled, but I also know I’m seen by others as just the goofball face man and that’s why I have something to prove.”
#Rottmnt#Wild metaphor incoming but it’s like the difference between a hersheys bar and fancy Ghirardelli or something#At the end of the day they’re both chocolate. But ones got a bit more depth.#where was I going with this again idk I got caught up in food metaphor#It’s like. With the first one it boils down to character A (in this case Leo) going “I’m useless because I’m not good at [thing]”#Resulting in those around him either going “of course you’re good at thing! Remember the time you were good at thing?”#Or sometimes “it doesn’t matter that you’re not good at [thing] we love you regardless of what you can provide”#And again THATS GOOD THATS SOME GOOD SHIT#I LOVE THAT#but with the latter it’s more like “I know I’m good at thing *but I don’t know how to prove it to you*”#And that gives you the best of both worlds where you CAN get character A feeling bad but not for their lack of thing#But because if no can see it surely they *must* be doing something wrong right?#And ALSO you get the characters around them getting all sorts of feelings of “we didn’t do enough to show we believe in them”#Or “we didn’t notice how hard they tried”#Cuz you can get that a little in the first one but it can come off as kinda meh cuz they didn’t actually do anything wrong#It also has more opportunities for emotions besides straight sadness#You can have anger and conflict of “why am I not good enough for you?!”#That straight sef deprecation doesn’t always allow for#You can also have jealously and envy that feels less toxic and more justified#Not that it strictly needs to be justified mind you#Sometimes some toxic feelings stemming from perceived inadequacy are fuckin *chefs kiss*#But again it’s abt the VARIETY yknow#This isn’t even about Rottmnt anymore I’m just rambling#It’s my post and I get to choose the bullshit tags
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deityofhearts · 1 month
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I have so many thoughts about mlp, especially trixie
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kiki-strike · 4 months
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PTSD is so stupid saw a jar of biscoff cookie butter at the store and went ha that’s the brand they had in res. (Completely unaffected). Then went home and had a panic attack about it (????)
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mqonlighting · 3 months
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real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.
will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again
#so random disclaimer this girl is like a year older than me and in high school it’s like a nono for older and younger batch to like be#a thing so i know i generally have no chance but i like to live in my own insanity and the progression of my crush on her has been absolute#ly cuckoo bananas. so like it started out as ‘i wanna be your friend’ and progressed into ‘shit they’re really pretty’ to ‘wow ur so??’ to#‘fuck i like them’ and then it died down and then by all golly it came back but more of a hallway crush now which is bearable bc i’m#not really a part of their life?? like we know each other but we don’t wave and shit and we don’t like ever interact that much so i was lik#ok this is fine bc they literally never think of me so i’m just admiring from afar. and the FIRST inciting incident was i request them onig#and i expect to not get accepted because according to their friends they onyl accept close friends and i’m like k this is a bad idea probs#but the worst that could happen is i get left in their follow requests right?? RIGHT?? but then within like two hours of reqing. lord.#i got. ACCEPTED. and they requested back. and suddenly it’s +1 tangibility like ok?? maybe we’re not as strangers as i thought we were#i later discovered i was not that special for this but also?? cool?? anyways for a while it kind of laid dead and we never spoke at all eve#tho i was in their acc now (at this time they barely posted but whenever they did it was so?? funny like they would slap the randomest shit#on that acc) and it was still a hallway crush altho my friends r awful (/pos) people who would always make me pass their hallway and i#would run into them so often but at this point we only ever like exchanged glances and they would walk right past me like i wasnt even ther#but THEN the second incident happened which was basically we had to play instruments for this christmas event thing and bc they’re literall#y amazing they played for it and i was roped into it and. i was so gay the whole time. bc who wears a leather jacket to school and gets the#prettiest haircut ever right on the last day before a long break?? and the worst part is whenevr something confusing happened they would#turn to me and this one other person and we’d b laughing together. like we r friends. and they’re so fucking nice they were checking up on#us the whole time i was literally dying i kept dropping my pick and stealing looks AURURUGH and they’re so gen funny and interesting i just#and the first few days of holiday break i just couldn’t stop thinking abt them it was so bad? like that was the moment where i was genuinel#like is this more than a hallway crush… eventually it died back down until the next event we had to play together where they were being SO#SO much more comf w me? like exchanging knowing looks when smt funny happens and that stuff.. at this point i didnt even know what to like#think of my crush on them so i just let it be yk. atp they’re not even waving at me in the hallways at all still so maybe they’re just bein#nice! BUT NO. THAT IS UNTIL I AUDITIONED FOR A BAND (theyr in charge of accepting) AND THEY ACCEPTED ME WHICH COOL BUT LIKE A DAY LATER I#HEARD FROM OUR MUTUAL FRIEND THAT THEY SAID ‘yeaa im so happy i got (my name)’ AS IN IN THE BAND. LIKE. HELLO?? HI U THIUGHT ABT ME?? and#during the first band mtg where everyone’s all awk they kept making eye contact w me and asking if i was good and making sure i got to say#smt before anyone made a decision and it. murdered. me. i’m sorry maybe it’s the fanfic writer in me or this shit is literally nothing and#think they’re just nice to everyone but who cares bc it means they’re nice to ME too. and then last week happened. which was like the nail#in the coffin. INTERACTION ACTIVITY. I IMPULSIVELY ASK IF THEY WANNA B GROUPMATES AND THEY SAY YES. THEY ONLY TALK TO ME AND THEIR FRIENDS.#I ACT STUPID. THEY ALUGH AND TOUCH MY SHOULDER. I ASK ABT THEIR CAMERA AND THEY GO ON A LONG-ISH (cute) RANT ABT SMTH. THEY ASK WHY I HAVE#BIG ASS STACK OF POST ITS. WE TALK. THEY LAUGH AT MY JOKES. SUDDENLY. THEY SAY A FULL HELLO IN THE HALLS. THEY WAVE AT ME A DAY LATER. FUCK
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pepprs · 2 years
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also the favoritism thing is still making me so fucking mad and insane btw. im not jealous / resentful of my brother bc he deserves her love and is also burdened in his own ways by it and bc i think my drama w my mom has shaped my life in profound ways and given me friends i cherish and i would never trade any of that for the world but jesus fucking christ. why do i have to beg you to interact with me like a mother. why do i have to talk to me at all beyond asking me to do you 847439473 favors a day. why do i have to beg you to take an interest in my life and apologize when you hurt me and be nurturing and perceptive for once in your fucking life. like it hurts to hear her asking him about his classes and whatever bc she didn’t think i was stressed out w school but i had to talk to a ****** hotline last decemver when i couldn’t take it anymore and my mental health was crashing and burning and it doesn’t even fucking matter to her at all and she’s going to get him the nice gifts and throw him the nice parties and whatever because she hates me and my sister for… and let me get this straight… being complicated and anxious and depressed and also girls. lol!
#purrs#delete later#sorry i knowive been insane about momposting but this shit has me screeching like an ape. the way when my brother was born she decided me#and my sister would be okay with each other bc we were twins and meanwhile she was leaving my sister to have anxiety attacks and me to take#care of her and all of this happening at like 7 years old and she would come into my brothers room every single night and kiss him goodnight#and talk to him for a long time and she wouldn’t even come in and say goodnight to us. LOL. ok. like our room being a depression nest is not#an excuse. us not helping out much in the kitchen or around the house (which is bad but also we have reasons for it that i think are valid#and i only do it here and not elsewhere btw.) is not a good excuse. you can’t decide you love your one kid more because he helps out and#keeps his room clean and whatever. maybe he is normal because you made it very clear from the time that he was born that he was your top#priority and you gave him your attention and didn’t take it away meanwhile my sister and i have always had to share bc we’re twins and she#cast us aside when he was born and has fucking tormented both of us for years over who we like what we want where we go all of that shit and#then has the AUDACITY to call herself a good mother. being a good mother is more than feeding your kid and projecting your childhood trauma#onto them by preventing them from ever developing cancer to the point where they’re afraid fo like. go outside. you have to be patient and#nurturing and kind and like.. motherly. ans i know no one can be a perfect mother and she has been hurt so badly and she is dealing with a l#lot right now but COME ON. for gods SAKE. i am right fucking here. why don’t you care about me? why do you make it clearer every day?#ask to tag#like the way she would say when my sister and i were growing up and going through it that she wished she could book a hotel and live there f#far away from us and miss out on us growing up so she wouldn’t have to deal with us being anxious and hormonal because we were teenage girls#LOL. totally did not impact me at all. totally is not a wound that informs every breath i take and every thought i have. not at all#* like maybe he is normal because you uh… idk. just a guess here. actually gave him the motherlove people need to be functioning healthy#human beings? idk. just a silly thought. haha
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rosesradio · 7 months
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.
#i’m kind of really heartbroken right now#so i had tickets to the hot freaks concert and went tonight—which i don’t mind posting on here because i live several hours away#so basically i drove to the venue for several hours and stopped like once for food#it was my understanding that windsor was opening and then the hot freaks and then the happy fits i guess but i didn’t know the exact times#we were running a bit late bc of the road trip and walked in at 7:25 (the show started at 7) and i got to see the tail end of ‘boyfriend’#& i was like ‘oh okay i just missed their first song’ but then they walked off stage and my heart dropped. i missed everything#and yeah it’s on me because i must have had a misunderstanding about how the show worked#i’d never even heard of a show where an act performs for 20-25 minutes unless it’s like a variety show or something#i did cry about it already and just tried to have a good rest of the night since we’d already driven for hours#i got to meet the band at the merch table which was really cool and they gave me a free signed CD & sticker & friendship bracelet because—#they felt bad for me. which was very sweet (i also bought a shirt)#i know i should be grateful i was even able to go to the concert. and i still had fun but part of me will always be heartbroken#because financially/geographically it’s not smart to go to another show even further away just to see a 25 minute set when i’ve already got#the merch & all. plus i can listen to them on Spotify#i can only hope they come to a location closer to where i live#but there’s no guarantee because they’re so underground. they only resurfaced because of stupid tiktok & they’re only popular enough to be—#half of an opening act. so they could potentially never go on tour again#if i had more of a platform i would boost their music more but i don’t#i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just—#went to shit#tw vent#rose.txt
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pwurrz · 1 year
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some of y’all should. go outside. touch some grass maybe.
#one of the joys of being a human is being able to go be stupid in our youth#we say and do stupid shit as kids or teenagers because we don’t know any better#and what’s a better way of finding out that our words or actions were wrong than experiencing backlash for it firsthand??#how are we supposed to learn from our mistakes if we never make them??#that’s what our childhoods are for. being stupid#and then we grow up and we take all that stupidness we had as children and learn from it#but some extremely chronically online people don’t believe in making mistakes?? like ever??#not even as a child#which is baffling to me#because we’re all stupid as kids. all of us. especially the people who pretend they’re better than everyone else#so if someone made an honest mistake in their past#literally what right do you have to criticize them for it#if they’ve changed and grown as a person there’s no need to hold their past against them#and i’m talking about actual mistakes not shit like bullying people or saying slurs repeatedly bc you think it’s funny#i’m talking about shit like saying offensive jokes because you were taught the humour of them but not the harm#and saying ignorant shit because you literally didn’t know any better#anyways people who try to cancel people for harmless shit they did 10+ years ago go outside#delete your twitter account while you’re at it#you’re currently choosing to be judgemental and overly critical of people’s pasts in an attempt to ruin their lives#and i think that says more about you than it does about them
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school shootings were always my biggest fear as a student and now I still fear them as a teacher
#what could I say about this that I didn’t already say after parkland?#after sandy hook? after virginia tech? after columbine?#after the millions of other school shootings that didn’t get media coverage cause the death toll didn’t break a record#that’s the part that’s getting me#nowadays a shooting where only 2-3 victims doesn’t get any media coverage#but in any other country in the world this would spark national outrage BECAUSE ANYONE DYING IN SCHOOL IS NOT NORMAL!!!#but noooo in this country (ONLY country in the world where this regularly happens) there’s no way to prevent it#like are you american exceptionalists proud? we’re the school shooting capital of the world how amazing#all because we refuse to ban guns the blatantly obvious solution that has worked out for everyone else#fuck you and your second amendment rights we do not need to adhere to these dumb ass founders beliefs#what society adheres to rules from 300 years ago that were written by some of the most evil men in history they didn’t know SHIT#and anyways they themselves said that it needs to be well regulated but of course that part is ignored#dumbass politicians coming up with anything to ‘fix’ the problem besides banning automatic weapons#TED CRUZ IS SAYING DOORS ARE THE PROBLEM AND THAT THERE SHOULD ONLY BE ONE DOOR?? MF THAT IS A FIRE HAZARD#and they’re saying we need armed security as if the USELESS POLICE DID ANYTHING TO SAVE THOSE KIDS#‘only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy’ oh really? and what happens when that good guy also gets shot like in Buffalo?#and saying we need to secure schools like they’re prisons cause a metal detector is gonna stop a psycho with the intention to kill#all this security will just make Black kids kids with special needs kids of color and so many more feel even more unsafe#and let’s not forget the stupidest idea of them all ARMING TEACHERS????#teachers don’t get paid enough nor is it in their job description to KILL SCHOOL SHOOTERS#THAT IS THE POLICE’S JOB NOT OURS??? and this puts so many kids at risk too and teachers shouldn’t have to sacrifice themselves??#we can’t even get our lesson plans to go the way we planned them AND YOU WANT TO PUT A GUN IN A CLASSROOM?#i hate that the kids teachers and parents did more to protect each other than the people that get 40% of the city’s budget#all cause they were ‘scared’ well maybe you’re in the wrong line of work you coward pigs#and let me get started on the fact that we have an epidemic of murderous young boys that we have been ignoring since columbine#all of these shootings were committed by young adult men with incel white supremacist nazi ideologies#but sure let’s act like they did this because of bullying SHUT UP#men are literally the problem. like we need to be monitoring boys more instead of micromanaging our daughters#cause look at what kind of monsters they become#all of these violent video games and chat rooms where the most vile things are said is literally a pipeline to becoming an incel nazi
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luhrmannatural · 2 years
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anyway! this is why which political party you vote for does matter! i know too many people on the left who straight up don’t vote because “both parties are the same” and yeah they’re both corrupt but at least one of them is not actively trying to chip away at our civil rights! anyone who isn’t voting straight blue in november block me right now for real you make me more angry than conservatives at least they fucking VOTE
#you’re either voting with the best shot to protect human rights or you should get out of my house <3#‘conservatives are the ones you should be focused on they’re actually supporting this ideology!’#and? if you’re not doing what you can you’re no better#also i’m a florida voter so yeah those bullshit third party votes DO matter. they need to be blue. desantis WILL run for president#it sent me into a rage before now when people said this like i had one friend tell me that both parties are the same once and like.#i remember the day after trump won my 11 year old cousin called me sobbing saying she was afraid to go to school the next day#because the anglo kids were chanting to build a wall at her majority latin school#those people would’ve still been there regardless of who won ofc#but no way would they have felt safe enough to act if that ideology hadn’t been endorsed by an election!#if you think both parties are the same it’s because you have enough privilege to not pay attention to the way#the people in power can embolden some really ugly shit#i’m sure now people will start to care more since obergefell is in danger and god forbid we jeopardize the white gays!! i’m so tired#don’t even think about sending me a confrontational ask about this i will delete it on sight#and btw if you want to actually vote outside the two party system local elections are right there!! and super important!! don’t ignore them!#a.txt#politics#abortion cw#<- tangentially. please lmk if you’d like me to tag this as anything else!
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