#and the occasional toxicity i stumble upon just kind of made me start thinking about this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adorpheus · 3 years

Text

on fujoshi and fetishization

Lately, more and more, both here on tumblr and on other sites, I keep seeing people spew unfiltered hatred at fujoshi - that is, women who like mlm content such as gay fanfic and fanart featuring men with other men. And I don’t mean like a specific type of fujoshi, like the ones who are genuinely being weird about it, but just like a general hatred for girls (but especially straight identifying girls) who express love for gay romance.

I hate to break this to you all, but women (including straight women!) actually are allowed to like mlm fanfiction and fanart, even enthusiastically so. A woman simply expressing her love of gay fanfic, even if it is in kind of a cringey way or a way that you personally don’t like, is NOT automatically fetishization.

I’ve been on the receiving end of fetishization for my entire life, from a very young age, as many black and brown folx have, so I consider myself pretty well acquainted with how it works. Fetishization isn’t just like, being really into drawings of boys kissing, or whatever the fuck y’all are trying to imply on this god forsaken site.

Fetishization is complicated imo, and can encompass a lot of things, such as (but not limited to):

1 - dehumanization, e.g. viewing a group of people as sexual objects who exist purely for entertainment purposes, rather than acknowledging them as actual people who deserve respect and rights

and

2 - projecting certain assumptions onto said people based on their race/sexuality/whatever is being fetishized. These assumptions are often, but not always, sexual in nature (like the idea that black people in general are more sexual than other races, etc etc etc).

I’m going to use myself as an example to illustrate my point. Please note this isn’t the best or most nuanced example, but it is the most simplistic. A white person finding me attractive and respectfully appreciating my black features as part of what makes me beautiful is not, on its own, fetishization. A white person finding me attractive solely or mostly because I’m a PoC is now in fetishization territory. Similarly, assuming I’m dominant because of my blackness (like saying “step on me mommy” and shit like that) is hella fetishistic.

That being said, theres definitely a difference between how fetishization works in real life with real people, and how it shows up in fandom.

Fetishization manifests in many different ways in fandom, but most commonly on the mlm side of things, I personally see it appear as conservative (or centrist) women who love the idea of two men together, but don’t actually like gay people, and don’t necessarily think LGBT+ people deserve rights (or “special treatment” as its sometimes dog whistled). These women view queer men as sexual objects for entertainment rather than an actual group of people who deserve to be protected from systemic oppression. I’ve noticed that they often don’t even think of the men they “ship” together as actually being gay, and may even express disgust at the idea of a character in an mlm ship being headcanon’d gay. In case its not obvious, this is pretty much exactly the same way a lot of cishet men fetishize lesbians (they see “lesbian” as a porn category, rather than like, what actual LGBT people think of when we read the word lesbian). There’s a pretty popular viral tweet thread going around where someone explains seeing this trend of conservative women who like mlm stuff, and I have also personally witnessed this phenomenon myself in more than one fandom.

The funny thing is, maybe its just me buuuut.... The place I see this particular kind of fetishization happen most is not in the anime/BL fandom, from which the term fujoshi originates - I actually see these type of women way way more in western fandom spaces like Supernatural, Harry Potter, and Hannibal. I can’t stress this enough, there’s a shocking amount of people who are like, straight up trump supporters in these fandoms. If you want to experience it, try joining a Hannigram or Destiel group on facebook and you will probably encounter one eventually especially if you happen to be living through a major historical event. Like these women probably wouldn’t even be considered “fujoshi”, because that term doesn’t really apply to them given they aren’t in the BL/anime fandom, yet they’re the ones I personally see actually doing the most harm.

Of course this isn’t the ONLY kind of fetishizing woman in the mlm/BL world, there are other ways fetishization shows up, but this is the most toxic kind that I see.

A girl just being really into BL or whatever may be “cringe” to you, or she may be expressing her love for BL in a “cringey” way, but a straight woman really enjoying BL is not, on its own, somehow inherently fetishization. Yes, sometimes teenage girls act kind of cringe about how much they like BL and that might be annoying to you, but its not necessarily ~problematic~.

That being said, IT NEEDS BE REMARKED that a lot of the “fujoshi” that you all hate so deeply, are actually closeted trans men or nonbinary people who haven’t yet come to terms with their gender identity, or are otherwise just NOT cishet. I know because I was one of these closeted people for years, and I honestly think tumblr and the cultural obsession around purity is one of the many reasons I was closeted so deeply for so long. STORYTIME LOL!!! In my early adolescence, I was a sort of proto “fujoshi”. I identified as a bi girl who was mostly attracted to men, or as most (biphobic) people called it, “practically straight”. I wrote and read “slash” fanfic and looked at as well as drew my own fanart. We didn’t use the term fujoshi back then, but that’s definitely how I could have been described. I was obsessed with yaoi, BL, whatever you want to call it, to a cringe-inducing degree. I really struggled to relate to most het romances, so when I first discovered yaoi fanfics (as we called them at the time), I fell in love and felt like I finally found the type of romance content that was made for me. I didn’t know exactly why, I just knew it hit different. LGBT+ fanart and fanfiction brought me an immense amount of joy, and I didn’t really think too hard about why.

At some point, in my early 20s, after reading lots of discourse™ here on tumblr and other places like twitter, I started to get the sinking feeling that my passion for gay fanfiction was ~problematic~. I had always felt a sense of guilt for being into mlm content, because literally anyone who found out I liked BL (especially the men I dated) shamed me for liking it all the fucking time (which btw is literally just homophobic, like can we talk about that?). In addition to THAT bullshit, now I’m seeing posts telling me that girls who like BL are cringey gross fetishists who inspire rage and should go die?

Let me tell you, I internalized the fuck out of messages like this. I desperately wanted to avoid being ~problematic~. At the time, I thought being problematic was like the worst thing you could be. I was terrified of being “cancelled”, before canceling was even really a thing. I thought to myself, “oh my god, I’m gross for liking this stuff? I should stop.” I beat myself up over this. I wanted so badly to be accepted, and to be deemed a Good Person by the internet and society at large.

I tried to shape up and become a good ally (lmfao). I stopped writing fanfic and deleted all the ones I was working on at the time. I made a concerted effort to assimilate into cishet culture, including trying to indulge myself more deeply in the few fandoms I could find that had het content I did enjoy (Buffy, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, etc). I would occasionally look at BL/fanfic/etc in private, but then I would repress my interest in it and not look for a while. Instead I would look at women in straight relationships, and create extremely heterosexual Couple Goals pinterest boards, and try to figure out how I could become more like these women, so I, too, could be loved someday.

This cycle of repression lasted like eight years. Throughout it all, I was performing womanhood to the best of my ability and trying to become a woman that was worthy of being in a relationship. I went in and out of several “straight” relationships, wondering why they didn’t make me feel the way reading fanfic did. Most of all, I couldn’t figure out why straight intimacy didn’t work for me. I just didn’t enjoy it. I always preferred looking at or making gay fanfiction/fanart over actual intimacy with men in real life.

Eventually, I stumbled upon a trans coming out video that someone I was following posted online, my egg started to crack, and to make an extremely long story short, after like 3 years of introspection and many gender panic attacks that I still experience to this day, I realized that I’m uh... MAYBE... NOT CIS..!? :|

I truly believe if I had just been ALLOWED TO LIKE GAY STUFF WITHOUT BEING SHAMED FOR IT, I probably would have realized I was trans way way sooner. Because for me, indulging in my love of gay romance and writing gay fanfic wasn’t me being a weirdo fetishist, it was actually me exploring my own gender identity. It is what helped me come to terms with being a nonbinary trans boy.

Not everyone realizes they are trans at age 2 or whatever the fuck. Sometimes you have to go through a cringey fujoshi phase and multiple existential crises to realize how fucking gay you are AND THATS FINE.

And one more thing - can we just be real here?

A lot of anti-fujoshi sentiment is literally just misogyny. omg please realize this. Its “women aren’t allowed to enjoy things” but, like... with gay fanfics. Some of the anti-fujoshi posts I see come across my dash are clearly ppl projecting a caricature they invented in their head of a demonic fujoshi fetishist onto any woman who expresses what they consider to be a little too much enthusiasm for gay content and then using their perception of that individual as an excuse to justify their disdain for any women, especially straight women, ‘invading’ their ~oh so exclusive~ queer fandom spaces.

god get over yrselfs this is gatekeeping by another name

idk why i spent so long writing this no one is even going to read it, does anyone even still use this site

*EDIT: HOLY SHIT WHEN DOING RESEARCH FOR THIS POST I FOUND OUT THAT Y-GALLERY IS BACK OMG!!!

#rant #fujoshi #I SAID WHAT I SAID #personal #gender stuff

28 notes · View notes

secret-engima · 4 years

Text

Worlds Unseen verse Drabble: Stand By You (Even in Dreams)

(here I am, writing something I have no idea what to do with. Enjoy the angst? This ends really abruptly but I didn’t know how to wrap it up. gfhgfd it was interesting to write at least. Also, potential spoilers for Horizon Zero Dawn).

...

He showed up about two days in. A silent companion walking steadily at her side even though that —he— was impossible. She was determined to ignore him at first. She didn’t know if he was born of her increasing hunger and thirst, her loneliness, or if the air was turning toxic the more damage the swarm did to the world, but he wasn’t real. He couldn’t be. So she ignored him.

Still, he walked beside her. Not speaking, not ranting or babbling or screaming, just-. Walking. Watching. He watched the world around them with sad eyes, very emotive eyes. Sometimes he almost seem to stumble over the rubble of the road. If it hadn’t been for the impossibility of it, of him, she might have believed he was real. Her imagination was too strong apparently.

But he was impossible. Dressed like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie, furs and leathers mixed with machine piping and wires, his painted face exposed to the ruined world without dying even though she knew that people needed vacuum-sealed suits now just to survive. He was impossible.

She would never admit that it felt good not to be alone. Even if her company was just a figment of her imagination.

She made it through three days of silence before she broke, “You ever gonna talk, or are you a silent hallucination?”

Blue-grey eyes, more like storm clouds than skies, shifted away from the landscape to look at her, “You didn’t seem in the mood for conversation,” he spoke, and she noted what almost sounded like a Japanese accent —odd choice brain, why not a southern accent like Travis or something?—, “so I left you alone.”

She sighed, “Well, not much else to do out here but indulge my insanity.”

“You think you’re dreaming me up.”

“Aren’t I?”

The hallucination shrugged, “I don’t know. I think that I’m dreaming you up, personally, and you believe you’ve dreamed me up. Maybe we’re both dreaming up each other. Or maybe we’re both just dreams. Does it matter?”

She mulled over that for probably longer than it deserved, “I guess not.”

...

“Where are we going?”

She looked up tiredly at the words, jolted out of the daze that had been settling into her bones by the soft voice of the impossibility following her around, “I’m trying to get home. You can leave whenever you want.”

A loose shrug, as if her words were merely a polite suggestion and not a jab at her insanity, “Are you sure you want to see it this way? It’s not going to be pretty.”

They both paused to look around at the ruined landscape. Skyscrapers smoking in the distance, roads cracked and torn apart, the entire world either burned or eaten by unstoppable metal monsters, the sky turned unnatural colors as the atmosphere was ruined ever further. No, she mentally agreed. She probably did not want to see her home this way. But still … “I have nowhere else to go. I’m a dead woman anyway. I want to die at home.”

He shrugged again, as if to say without words that it was her choice, and they kept walking.

She wondered distantly when his footsteps had started to make sound, just like real ones did.

...

“You got a name? It’s getting boring just calling you the Hallucination in my head.”

An amused glance her way, “I thought you weren’t supposed to indulge hallucinations because it would only make them worse.”

She scoffed, the sound laced with static through the speakers of her suit, “Worst case is that I die before I get home, talking to thin air. Best case is that I die at the ranch, still talking to thin air. Might as well risk it. So, do you have a name?”

He tilted his head and considered her. There was something eerie in his gaze, something too keen and too alive. Something too old. It fit the strange military uniform he was wearing today, “Bast,” he finally said, “Bast Lucis Caelum.”

“Pretentious,” she huffed, and his lips twitched like he agreed and found her opinion amusing. It was stupid to introduce herself to a hallucination of her own mind, because surely he knew everything about her already. But even so, boredom and manners made her tap her chest plate and say, “Elisabet. Elisabet Sobeck.” He stopped and stared at her with wide, startled eyes, the most open emotion she had yet seen from him. His mouth opened, then shut, then he shook his head and muttered something that sounded distinctly like “should have known” and she was intrigued despite herself, “You didn’t know who I was. Shouldn’t you know everything about me?”

He scoffed, a dry, tired noise, “No. I didn’t. I knew your voice was familiar, but I can’t- I can’t see you under that suit. I wasn’t sure. And I don’t know much about you. Not really.” A pause, a thoughtful look at the ruined horizon and the swirling dust beneath their feet, “Tell me?”

Elisabet didn’t feel much like talking about herself to, essentially, herself, but she was used to answering vague, childish questions after so long working with Gaia, and somehow she found herself talking as she hiked through the empty landscape. About herself, about her past, about her dreams. Bast listened without judgement, just occasionally made a questioning noise that let her know he was listening.

It was a relief to not feel alone in this place. Even if she knew logically she was more alone than she had ever been before in her life.

...

“If you had a daughter,” Elisabet jerked awake from her daze at the sound, blinked and tried to shake off the effects of dehydration —the suit had run out of water stims to inject into her bloodstream yesterday and she was already feeling the effects—, “what would you say to her?”

“I don’t have any children,” she retorted and tried not to sound bitter about it, “for the best, really, considering … this.” She waved a hand at the fallen buildings and smoking spires. Ruins without bodies, everything already picked clean of organic material by the swarm as it had passed by. That was probably the only reason she was still alive. This area had already been deemed empty by the swarm and it had moved on before she had … left.

“Humor me.”

She looked at her imaginary companion. He was dressed in post-apocalypse leathers and cables again, his blond hair half shaved, the other half left to flop to the side like some kind of sad not-mohawk. His weapons hadn’t changed. They were just as anime as ever. A katana at one hip, a bow on his back and a quiver of arrows on his other hip, knives peaking out from seemingly every pocket. He was watching her with something very focused and serious in his gaze. Like he could see through her suit and into her eyes. She licked dry lips beneath her visor, “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have anyone.”

He stopped walking, she stopped instinctively so as to not leave him behind. He reached out as if to grab her shoulder, paused before he could touch her and lowered his hand. Grey eyes looked dark with intent, with desperation, “If you had a daughter,” he started to repeat.

“Well I don’t!” She snapped, temper breaking free of its leash, “I’m childless! I have no daughter, I have no future! I’m talking to a hallucination! You’re a figment of my mind, why won’t you just change the subject?”

“Because this is important!” He snarled back with more ferocity than she expected. He stormed forward until they were almost touching, his nose inches from her faceplate, “This is important, Elisabet. I don’t know what’s going on, if I’m dead or dreaming or what, but I have a chance to ask this and I’m taking it!”

A fractured pause between them, tense and disbelieving on both sides. Then Bast ran a hand through his hair and stepped back, “Now please. If you had a daughter, what would you tell her?”

A pointless question. A pointless question that was painful to even think about, especially here. Especially now. She turned away and resumed walking, listened to the crunch of footsteps that couldn’t really be there as they followed her and thought about changing the subject.

And yet…

“If I had a daughter … I would tell her that I loved her. So much. I would tell her … to be brave. And curious. And kind. That- that the world has enough people out there hurting it, and that it takes a special kind of person to heal it instead. If only a little bit. I would tell her that I support her, no matter what she decided to do with her life, and that wherever she went … whatever she did, I would believe in her. Anything she wanted to be, or achieve, she could do it. I know she could.” Elisabet looked up at the sky, taking in the starscape just beginning to be visible, “I would tell her to reach for the stars, because if she wanted to, she could touch them. And no matter what happened next … I would be … so proud. I would love her, and I would… I …”

“I would tell her that I would always be proud of my baby girl.”

Bast let her fall silent after that. Politely looked away as her shoulders shook and her breath hitched inside the suit. Then, after minutes upon minutes of aching silence, he whispered, “I’ll remember that.”

And Elisabet wondered why it felt like such a relief to hear those words. Even though logically she knew that she had no child, and even if she had, they would never hear what Elisabet had to say.

...

It was getting hard to see straight. Hard to think. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since the suit ran out of nutrient stims. Just that it had, and she had kept walking. She had avoided the swarm, somehow, and now … now she was so tired. So very tired.

“Keep walking,” Bast said, and she wondered when she had stopped caring that he was a figment of her mind and instead clung to the comfort of his presence. To the steadiness of his voice even in a world eaten alive. “That’s it, isn’t it? Up ahead.”

She looked up. Cried when she saw the weathered letters of the Sobeck Ranch looking back, “Yeah. That’s it. That’s home.” She had made it. She had made it home. Crazy and dying and alone at the end of the world but … she was home. She staggered past the wrecked gate, tried not to look at the devastation. The swarm had been through here, she could tell. All the trees were gone, all the grass ripped out of the ground by the roots. The walls caved in to get to the ivy that had been growing on them. Her home was in as much ruins as the rest of the world.

But it was still here.

She sank shakily onto the old stone bench that faced the house and sighed.

This would be a good place to die.

Bast settled next to her, crouching on his haunches near the bench rather than risk touching her —he never touched her, and she wasn’t sure if that was out of respect for her boundaries or because they both knew it would break the illusion that he was ever there—. He was quiet. He had been getting a lot quieter, the longer the journey went on. The more Elisabet faded. He only spoke now to wake her up, to tell her to keep moving. But she was home now, so there was no more reason to stay awake, or to walk. This was it. This was where she was going to stay until the end.

She wondered, a little dazedly, if it would be scary for Bast. If he would fade with her consciousness, acting alive until the end, or if her brain would just get too tired to keep him around and he would wink into nothing between one heartbeat and the next. That thought scared her more than it should.

“Hey, Bast?”

“Yeah?”

She licked dry lips and shifted to be marginally more comfortable on the bench. Tilted her head back to the sky and idly rolled her little globe charm in her fingers as she whispered, “If I had a daughter … what would her name be? What … would she be like?”

The silence that followed was deep and long. So long she closed her eyes with a shaking sigh, sure that her brain had finally gotten bored with making him and left her well and truly alone. Then.

“Aloy. Her name would be Aloy. She would … look just like you. Red hair, bright green eyes that try to pick apart everything in the world around her. She would be … curious. Brave. Unstoppable. The smartest person in the room wherever she went but not … arrogant about it. Always looking for knowledge, always looking to learn. She would be … afraid of a lot of things, but she would never let it stop her. She would be very kind. Always willing to help other people in need, even when it’s risky, or when she would rather do something else. She would … look at a boy about her age that … no one wanted anything to do with because he was weird and she would hold out a hand in friendship. She would learn a foreign language just so she could talk to her new friend better, and ask questions no else thinks to ask. She would do … so many amazing things.”

Elisabet tried to picture it. Indulged in the fantasy of it, just for a little while, “What things?”

“Well,” Bast mused slowly, a note of gentle, nostalgic fondness in his voice, “there was this one time when we were eleven, and Aloy decided she wanted to surprise Rost, our … caretaker, so…”

Elisabet listened. Eyes closed, breath slowing, basking in stories of the impossible. Of children and curiosity, of teenagers and bravery. Of a daughter who was unstoppable, and curious, and kind enough to fix the world, just a little bit. She listened to Bast’s voice rise and fall in stories of hope and heartbreak and danger and kindness. Her hand slowly relaxed around her little globe charm. It would be alright to doze off just for a little while, right? To dream of these fanciful stories her own mind was telling her.

Just for a little while. Maybe … maybe she would get to see them? In her dreams if nothing else.

Just for a little bit.

Thank you, she tried to tell Bast past lips too tired to move. Thank you for staying with me, even if you aren’t really here.

Thank you for not letting me die alone.

...

Bast finished his story, one of many he had been telling, through the day and night and into the dawn again. He looked up from the pebbles he had been fiddling with, only half feeling them, as if he was touching them in a dream.

He couldn’t hear Elisabet breathing anymore.

He closed his eyes. Opened them and looked around the ruined world one more time. He could feel it, the tug in his soul that had been trying to make him wake up for a while now. He could have left days ago, followed the tug and gone back to the world of the living. But even if this was all just a dream —which it might be, or it might not, could he really judge after all the things he’d seen?—, he hadn’t wanted to leave yet. He hadn’t wanted to disappear and leave her alone.

It was the least he could do, for Aloy’s mother.

He stood up, letting the tugging sensation unravel through his soul as he stared at the unmoving figure slumped over on the stone bench, “I’ll come find you,” he whispered, “when I wake up. When this is all over. I’ll take Aloy here to meet you. Just wait for me until then, okay?”

There was no answer. He didn’t expect any.

The tugging feeling grew stronger and yanked him away, and Bast had just enough time to whisper goodbye before he opened his eyes in the real world, aching all over and with a relieved Aloy crying at his head.

“-you thinking? You almost died!”

“Sor’y, Aloy.”

“I’ll show you sorry, all those lectures on being reckless and there you go and do something stupid like that-!”

“Your Mom says hi.”

“I’m going to- what?”

Bast shook his head with a sigh. She didn’t know yet. She still had hope.

He would tell her later. When he took her to meet Elisabet, “Neverm’nd. Tell you later.” He reached up and tugged one of her braids gently, “Missed you.”

He squinted past the tears dripping onto his face as she pulled him into her lap, “I missed you too you big idiot. Don’t scare me like that again.”

“Okay.”

#Melodies and Manuscripts #Secret Engima Rambles #Worlds Unseen verse #drabble #spoilers #horizon zero dawn spoilers #horizon zero dawn fanfic

37 notes · View notes

ladydreemurr · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. TAGGED BY: @mrfunnybone TAGGING: @sxvethequeen @a-real-chara-cter

MY MUSE IS: CANON / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. ( She’s good, you guys. }

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. { Don’t Google it. }

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. { Mostly. You get the occasional guy that didn’t check her stats or forgot certain scenes, but it’s rare in my experience. }

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. { Guys, she’s very good. }

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO { I think so, anyway! She’s the one that rescues you in the Ruins and she’s significant in many endings, among other things. }

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. { She is your mom and she will be your mom and you are gonna like it. }

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. { Queen of the monsters! }

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. { She’s got a lot of good will as a fair and kind ruler, but she also ditched her job at the worst time. Aaand a rebellion starts to straight up yeet her off the throne in one ending. So... depends? }

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — As far as writing Toriel’s character, I follow canon as closely as possible, adding things of my own when there are gaps or room for creative license ---which Undertale has a lot of. As a general rule, I'm pretty conservative about breaking from canon without “good” reasons, but I’m not bound by it, either!

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. — So I’m just gonna take this opportunity to wax about why I love this lady:

Toriel is the result of a long and interesting life. She’s a runaway monarch with centuries of red letter events, memories and hard decisions behind her, many of which were extremely painful for her and others. She’s suffered loss and made it worse by choosing to cope with them alone. She’s been and can still be harsh and judgmental. And yet, and yet, and yet when you first meet her, you might never guess any of that; she’s overwhelmingly a loving, passionate and downright silly woman who extends her generosity to everyone around her. She still wants to be a teacher. She still wants a family. However imperfectly she may express it, nothing she’s been through has smothered that.

Not only does her natural humor and genuine warmth make her easy to like and trust for most people, but she’s usually quick to become invested in others; she cares what they think, how they feel, and who they are. Above all, she wants to help — and absolutely believes she can do that — whether people want her to or not. She knows what’s best, after all.

Toriel is good you guys she’s very good---

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). — Weeell, as far as canon goes, Toriel is only really an active agent in the beginning and the end; you don’t see her for a while between those story beats and that means she only really gets those moments to do anything interesting. Toriel is also less overtly “spicy” or “quirky” than some of her fellow cast members, too, so she might be outshone by them as far as raw personality goes.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — I was between fandoms and fresh off my first Undertale playthrough when I stumbled upon the RPC community. I’d been considering joining with a Toriel blog already, but what pushed me over the edge was a Sans writer and a Papyrus writer that I loved the stories of. Their work finally got me excited enough to throw my hat in. Even though they’re long gone, I’m still excited to see what sort of stuff I can contribute to!

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — Whenever I see people writing together, it inspires me. Whenever I get myself on a long ramble about characters, it inspires me. Poetry inspires me. Spite inspires me. Just immersing myself in the world and act of creating stuff for the sake of it inspires me, basically!

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES...? / NO / { I don’t feel like I’ve done a whole lot with Toriel yet, but I’m feeling good about what I’ve managed so far. }

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? { I definitely come up with stuff, but I’m still a little timid about sharing my ideas. I’m workin’ on it! }

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? {I have off days, but I think I’m good at her! }

Are you confident in your writing? YES ? / NO. { I’m a recovering perfectionist, which is what slows me down more than anything else. Accepting and internalizing that RPing is innately messier than solo writing takes work! }

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / SORTA. { I guess that depends on what this refers to! Emotional stuff gets to me pretty easy (I’m a sap) and I hate seeing people being awful to each other, but as far as, say, being insulted and such, I usually don’t take what people say about me online to heart too easily. }

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — Yes! We’ve all got blind spots and weaknesses somewhere; if you guys see one I don’t, I’d love to hear it.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Totally. It’s my jam.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — I’m usually curious, but I don’t expect people to explain themselves to me or anything. I’m just really interested in the different ways the same character can be interpreted; it’s really fascinating!

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — Just fine! Honestly, I think it’s a good thing that we often don’t have the same vision for a given character. I’ve disagreed with how other people write Toriel, too!

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — Again, just fine! It’s a normal part of engaging with media as long as there isn’t any toxic behavior attached.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Yes. Guys, if you see me do things like- — and this is totally, 100% hypothetical and definitely not a thing I did— accidentally write two instances of “only” where there should very obviously be one, go right ahead and point it out to me. And ya know? I’m surprised no one’s pointed out problems with my em-dash abuse yet. Heh.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — Generally yes, though I’m trying to be more easygoing. I’d like to be more proactive in talking to people and not worry so much about whether people will dig the things I post. But, uh, you know; recovering perfectionist!

#Game Paused (ooc)#meme tag tba (meme)#{ I can easily tell you why people don't l i k e Toriel but for some reason explaining why she could be uninteresting was... a t h i n g }#{ I've never seen anybody call her boring or anything---}

4 notes · View notes

kimwexlers-brownhair · 5 years

Photo

I have a Rick and Morty crossover theory about the Joker’s past, because why wouldn’t I?

So what exactly WAS in the toxic chemicals that the man who became the Joker fell into? What, exactly, makes up the fluid in Rick Sanchez’s portal gun? What if somebody who worked at Axis Chemicals -- possibly a Rick? -- stumbled upon the recipe for interdimensional travel goo, and it somehow ended up in that vat?

What would it be like to fall into interdimensional chemicals? Absolutely submerged, like the Joker was?

Well, here’s my theory: all at once, you’d experience every timeline that led to your submersion into said chemicals. You’d remember everything about being a sadistic career criminal that leads the Red Hood gang. You’d remember everything about being a naive former engineer and failed comedian, manipulated into playing the fall guy during the heist, all while numb with grief from losing your pregnant wife. You’d live every single permutation of what brought you to Batman, to the chemicals.

Then you crawl out, disoriented and confused by every life you just lived, and look at your reflection in the water. You see this:

Kind of understandable that the mind would snap, you’d forget which timeline is yours, and you’d come up with an entirely different, maniacal identity. Bits and pieces make their way into every version of the Joker: the Joker from the sadistic gangster timeline (TAS,’89 Burton film) has the engineer’s lab knowledge to create Smilex and Laughing Gas; meanwhile, the engineer-comedian (Killing Joke/Hush series version, who I’ll refer to as “KJ Joker”) inherits the sadism and criminal connections from his gangster counterpart ( “TAS Joker”).

In fact, I’d argue the KJ Joker is ironically more disturbed and sadistic than TAS Joker, because he is in fact living in the Killing Joke universe where his wife’s death is so near to him. This raw grief combined with these new memories of being a powerful and violent criminal create something monstrous enough to do what he did to the Gordons.

It’s difficult to say what made TAS Joker evil from the beginning, and not KJ. I suppose you could say Nurture over Nature wins in this case: maybe TAS Joker’s father or mother suffered a head injury that made them violent and abusive, and maybe in the Killing Joke timeline there was never an injury and they treated little Jack just fine. Or maybe TAS Joker received the head injury as a child.

I mean, personally, I believe in both Nature and Nurture. I think someone with a naturally disturbed disposition can learn to control themselves if they have a healthy background and if they really want to be a better person -- but that means they have to have some goodness in them, because Dennis Rader had a healthy upbringing, and still was a demon from the start. Conversely, someone who is naturally level-headed and good can go through horrifying ordeals and emerge with their morality intact.

I remember watching a documentary about this researcher who discovered he was a distant descendant of Lizzie Borden’s family. He spoke to his family and co-workers, and was a bit nonplussed to find they...weren’t that surprised. “Oh, yeah. Well...you do seem a little emotionally detached at times. A little short on empathy.” Yet they still loved and respected him. Why? Well, he’d had a very happy, loving upbringing and was able to marry and have a happy family life grown up, as well.

He very freely admits he might have gone down a much darker path if he didn’t have that background growing up.

So that’s basically my conception of the KJ Joker. A maybe not totally good man who is able to function in society because he grew up in a normal family and met a wonderful woman who became his soulmate.

Yet when that’s taken away very violently and suddenly, and he suddenly sees all the darker versions of himself that led to his transformation into a demon clown? Well, we see what happens. It probably wouldn’t have happened to Bruce Wayne or Jim Gordon, because at their core, they’re better people than the Joker in any timeline.

Which brings me to the character of Jeannie, and the possibility for some great fanfic au’s I might write someday.

What if in the gangster timeline, she’s alive? She never met him before his transformation, because he was hard and evil from the start, and she was off doing her Jeannie thing elsewhere.

Yet just as KJ remembers all the life experiences of TAS Joker, so TAS Joker remembers the happy marriage that ended tragically for the engineer-comedian. TAS Joker isn’t as close to that past, but it’s definitely part of the rotation of Multiple Choice Pasts he remembers occasionally. He probably thinks he’s making her up: there are numerous references throughout TAS and Burton’s movie that he’s usually aware he has mob connections, and there was no way he had a wife stashed away somewhere or that he was doing standup comedy on the side.

So what happens if he runs into Jeannie in this timeline?

Maybe she gets a job as custodian at Arkham. Maybe he runs into her while escaping Batman down Gotham streets. Just as there are countless timelines that led him to the chemicals, there are countless timelines after.

What does seeing Jeannie alive do to him in these various timelines?

We know KJ Joker reveres her memory, as we see him reaching out for her solemnly in Killing Joke after his first flashback, and in the Hush series we see him mournfully looking at her pictures. But would TAS Joker be this sentimental about her? After all, if KJ Joker inherited the unrestrained sadism of TAS Joker, would it make sense that TAS Joker inherit some of the sincere sentiment from the grieving widower?

Or would this new entity, the Joker, simply not care? Would he find her just another cosmic punchline? Would he hurt her, lash out at her? Try to destroy this living embodiment of his dead humanity?

You see, Jeannie in this timeline would have no clue why Joker would recognize her. She was never dunked in interdimensional chemicals, so all she knows is the timeline she’s currently in. She never met Jack Napier or the Joker before. She’s just an average lady with a slightly sick sense of humor and a good heart. Once upon a different timeline, this person infatuated a more well-balanced Jack Napier, but what would the Joker make of her now?

Anyway, this is the weird stuff that keeps me up at night. I’d love any thoughts.

#joker #batman #dc #the killing joke #batman: the animated series #batman 1989 #jack napier #jeannie napier #jack x jeannie #joker x jeanne #rick and morty #aus #jeannie #my fan doodles #meta

5 notes · View notes

littleogreboii · 5 years

Text

Late night trans boy thoughts

I say late night, it’s like 21:40 here. I’m kind of in the middle of a breakdown atm. My psychology exam went bad on Monday. I don’t have any more school lessons ever, which my brain is still like ‘what’ over. And, I’m meant to have emailed both my photography and art teacher stuff. Also, was meant to put up my stuff for the photography exhibition today, but didn’t. And, my cat has a cut on his head which is stressing me out. So, I’m kind of shakey atm.

To top it all off, my dysphoria is acting up, which is bizarre because I literally felt alright about it earlier. I walked past a kid earlier with my bike and they were like “why is he-” and I wanted to cry. I assume they were going to ask “why is he walking his bike?” but didn’t get to the end of the sentence before one of their siblings shut them up, but I was super happy. (Also, I was walking because stressed out me thought cycling with a binder on was a great idea. It wasn’t, but that’s more because my knees gave up on me.) My dysphoria obviously doesn’t care though because it’s here telling me that one of the siblings probably ‘corrected’ them. Which sucks.

While, I’m suffering though and as an outlet I thought ‘let’s make a tumblr post’ because watching videos of twinfools transitioning isn’t helping. However, I’m quickly running out of things to say and I’m still shakey.

Well, let’s do story time because that’s always a fun time. Yeah, we’ll do the story of me realising I’m trans to present day.

We need to go back about 2 and a half years for this. This was when gender identity was becoming a big subject in my school, especially when one my classmates came out as trans. At that point, I began thinking about it and my brain began pointing out certain scenarios and feelings. I thought about how as a kid, I’d wanted to be ‘one of the lads’. Like the boys would ritualistically play football and I would always join them. There were other girls that would join in, but I didn’t really interact with them. I just wanted to appear like one of the lads.

However, even back then it was pretty clear that I wasn’t one of the ‘lads’. I hit puberty pretty early. By the age of about 10, I had started my period and my boobs had begun to develop. I never really liked having boobs. I’ve always viewed them as kind of an irritation, although I’ve appreciated them on girls.

Anyway, at this point, my brain presented the pronouns ‘he/him’ to me and I waved them off. I thought there was no way and my toxic masculinity took over with ‘but you wear skirts and makeup’ and stuff like that. Instead, I went by they/them pronouns for a few months with some of my close friends. However, they never sat right. They made me squirm and I didn’t like that. But, I knew I wasn’t a fan of feminine pronouns either. I pushed through this for about 3/4 of a year, before deciding enough was enough.

I cut my hair short and you know you have people who are like ‘oh you’ll regret that’. I never have. I love my short hair. It highlights my jaw and makes my shoulders stand out. Before, my hair was so thick it was like the width of my shoulders so I looked strange.

Again, my brain was like ‘he/him’??? But, I was now determined to prove how ‘feminine’ I was. I went through a solid 3 months wearing as much makeup as possible and wearing skirts and dresses all the time. I would wear low cut clothing to show off my boobs, and I was so miserable. I hated every minute of those months. I hit such a low point and I just wanted to die.

I don’t remember how, but I stumbled upon gc2b’s website and in a final last ditch attempt, I ordered a binder. I figured, it would arrive and I would try it on and hate it, putting an end to all my affairs. It didn’t. I tried that binder on and I cried because I loved it. My chest looked so good and I tried on so many different shirts from my wardrobe in awe. There was no turning back for me. I didn’t tell anyone.

I’m still not entirely out, but that’s mainly because I’m at the end of school so I might as well go in with a fresh start at uni. I’m in the process of telling all my close friends, but most of them I’ve been friends with since I was 6 so it’s difficult. However, they’re good people so I’m not stressed about that side of it. My family are the more stressful side to it. My relationship with my dad is very strained, like I hardly speak with him as he had an affair a couple years ago and it was a bit of a messy divorce. I think my mum would be accepting, but I think she wouldn’t really know how to deal with it. That and she would probably end up outing me to virtually everyone, before I was ready. I’m not worried about my siblings and I know most of my cousins would be chill. My biggest concern is my nan. I love her so much and the idea of her not accepting me hurts. My other grandparents, I know, probably won’t accept me straight away, but I think after talking it other with them over a period of time, they might at least be able to bear it. I don’t even want to think about my aunts and uncles. Most of them are assholes or drunks. One of them is a well-meaning homophobe. Like he doesn’t get it, but he accepts that he’s probably just old-fashioned and has asked my opinion on homosexuals on different occasions. So, I think he’d be alright with it if I explained it well enough.

I think my biggest issue with most of them though is toxic masculinity. I still occasionally wear dresses because I like the swish-swish feel. I don’t own many anymore though because straight after I accepted I was trans, I got rid of nearly all my ‘feminine styled’ clothes. I kept a couple skirts I’d brought during my ‘I MUST BE A GIRL’ phase, but that’s because I’d brought them so recently, my mum would be like ‘wtf these are pretty much new’. However, those skirts were all pencil and I don’t like the way they accentuate my hips. But, I still occasionally buy a dress and I sometimes sit in my prom dress. These don’t really bring attention to my chest or hips, so I like them. Well, the prom dress does, but I only really wear that to twirl around for a bit because it feels great. Honestly, if you’ve never worn a dress, 10/10 recommend if only for the twirl effect. I still wear makeup too. I never really wore makeup to look ‘pretty’. I wore it to see how funky I could do it. Like seeing how wild I can go with the eye shadow.

The thing with realising your gender though, is you’re more aware of your dysphoria. Before, it was a mild ‘get rid of your boobies’. Now, it’s ‘your tits bounce when you walk and everyone can see it happening’ whenever I don’t have a binder on and ‘its not really flat though is it’ when I do have my binder on. As well as, ‘your voice is too high pitched, you write too feminine, and your hips sway too much when you walk’. These are combat-able though. Like I’ll be like ‘not every guy has a deep voice’ and I’ll remind myself of the female dance teacher I had as a kid who had a really deep voice. The ‘writing too feminine’ one is harder because this was something a friend told me. Like he straight up said he didn’t entirely believe I was trans because of the way I wrote (messages and stories). (We’re on better terms now. I explained to him that he hasn’t met every trans guy in existence and my gender is personal to me. He’s apologised and in his own twisted way he was looking out for me because he knows someone who started meds before realising that it wasn’t what they wanted. He also got me talking to one of his genderfluid friends for advice on dysphoria and stuff like that. He just struggled for a bit because his hetero ass had a big crush on me, but he knows that’s his problem to solve.) His words do still occasionally affect me though. I’m constantly reminding myself that writing has no gender. Instead, it is determined by age and exposure to tumblr.

Realising I was trans wasn’t all bad though. I would get romantic attractions to people, but I could never really picture doing anything with them. And, now I understand why. I thought I was asexual for the longest time and I still have yet to change that in my bio, but I know why now. And, I mean some of it is that I’m still maturing and simply not ready for that level of commitment, but a lot of it was due to me realising what’s downstairs ain’t right.

This is my experience so far and I’m a long way away from being anywhere near content. However, typing this has actually calmed my dysphoria a little bit. Although, I’m still no closer to doing that work for art or photography.

#ftm #trans ftm #trans boy #lgbt+#gender dysphoria #gender identity #trans

2 notes · View notes

cbdhn-blog · 5 years

Text

The Pros and Cons of CBD and the Parents Who Use It

Paul started taking CBD to be a better father. The New Jersey dad of two's high-pressure, high-rewards job was taking a toll. Work days left him feeling depleted and on edge. He'd get home wired and checked out, feeling like it was impossible to be patient with his boys.

“You go from one job to the next,” he said. “You go to work all day and come home to a five and a seven year old and they were at their job all day - school - and now they want to turn it up and rage.”

Paul hoped the hemp-derived product, which is said to reduce anxiety, would help him find the peace of mind he needed to be present in those moments of high-energy family time. So, on a work trip, he ducked into a store with a tie-dye banner and walked out with $40 worth of CBD gummies.

A few months later, he says he's noticed modest gains. He brings less work stress homeand stops channeling that anxiety onto his children. “I feel less inclined to give as many fucks about what they are doing and not helicopter dad as much,” he said. “I try to go with the flow.”

The hemp extract Cannabidiol, or CBD, is everywhere these days. You can find CBD-infused versions of candies, lattes, beer, bath bombs, lotions, lubes, and pretty much every product you can think of. These items aren't sitting past the beaded curtain in head shops, either. They're available online, at corner stores, and high-end boutiques. CBD will only become more ever-present. According to the cannabis industry analysis company New Frontier, the CBD market is expected to grow by 700 percent into a $2 billion industry by 2022.

These numbers are easy to understand. CBD supposedly aids sleep, relieves pain, and reduces stress. The plant-based compound also isn't habit forming and low-key enough to take around family or kids. It's becoming more and more of an option for those who want to de-stress or at the least not let their anxieties rub off on their loved ones. It's no surprise then that parents are among the most avid consumers. Hell, the only way to tailor CBD more to modern dads is to include a Beastie Boys playlist and tips for fantasy football with every purchase. But is it worth the hype?

***

Researchers have been aware of Cannabidiol since the late 18th century when it was the first of the more than 60 natural cannabinoid compounds. Scientists were able to synthesize it as early as the mid '60s. Like all cannabinoids, CBD is derived from hemp plant resins. Unlike its more famous fellow marijuana-derived chemical compound Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), however, CBD doesn't get you stoned. Instead, it has a calming effect.

While CBD has been used to help fight seizures and chronic pain, it's the anxiety-battling properties and lack of brain-fog that have become its big, bold selling point. A 2013 study found evidence that CBD alleviates anxiety by increasing prefrontal cortex activation and lowering activity in the amygdala, the two areas of the brain involved in anxiety while activating CB1 receptors to restore balance to GABA and glutamate levels, further reducing anxiety. THC also binds with CB1 receptors, but activates the brain's dopamine reward system while also interfering with brain mechanisms that regulate mood, memory, appetite, pain, cognition, and emotions.

Hell, the only way to tailor CBD more to modern dads is to include a Beastie Boys playlist and tips for fantasy football with every purchase.

“If THC is the Beyonce of cannabinoids, then CBD is the Adele,” Pittsburgh functional medicine practitioner Will Cole said. “Both you are your grandma will love it as CBD oil doesn't contain the same cannabinoids that are considered psychoactive.”

CBD does have it's concerns, however. Longstanding prohibitions on studying marijuana have only loosened recently and not entirely. For example, researchers can only study marijuana grown at the University of Mississippi, which grows marijuana under contract with the National Institute on Drug Abuse. With restrictions hampering research into hemp products overall and CBD being relatively new, researchers, while armed with convincing theories, don't yet know exactly how it operates in the brain and body.

Then there's also the issue of legality. CBD is available in most parts of the United States, but its legal status is somewhat murky. States have varying degrees of restriction. In the 10 states with legal marijuana, CBD is legal as well. Some states, like New York, allow commercial sales. Alabama, however restricts CBD use to medical purposes only. Georgia, meanwhile, only permits it to be prescribed to people with conditions such as cancer, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's disease, and seizure disorders.

The farm bill released by the FDA in December legalized non-THC hemp products across the board. While that should include CBD, some legal experts suggest that it may not. Nonetheless, the bill should be good news for CBD users, as it permits states to decide on laws about CBD sales and it differentiates hemp-derived products from marijuana and therefore removes CBD from the DEA's list of controlled substances.

Despite some gray areas, CBD has crossed some hurdles. A World Health Organization report on CBD determined it was safe when taken on its own but suggested that problems could arise when CBD is taken with other drugs.

“If THC is the Beyonce of cannabinoids, then CBD is the Adele.”

Dr. Rachna Patel, a medical cannabis specialist and a leading expert on CBD, added that, while CBD isn't addictive or life-threatening, moderation is key. “If you take it too often [for pain relief] it's going to make your pain worse, believe it or not,” she said. Like other cannabinoids, CBD has a biphasic effect, meaning low and high doses can produce opposite results. And while someone can't overdose from CBD, taking too much leads to a bad time.

“You could feel dizzy. You could feel really groggy, you could feel really lethargic,” she said. “You're just not going to overall feel good.”

Still, by all measures, CBD seems like it was synthesized precisely for our high-stress, burn out-prone times. In fact, there's some persuasive evidence that use is high among those with kids. Dr. Patel, for instance, has found that while CBD cuts across ages, it peaks with people between 40 and 60.

“That's when humans in general start to experience a lot of pain,” Patel said. “Their body is starting to wear down on them.”

Knowing all this, why wouldn't stressed-out parents want to give CBD a try?

***

While CBD sounds ideal for dads in theory, in practice the results seem mixed. The CBD-users with whom I spoke were reserved in their praise. Still, the consensus wasn't dismissive - the phrase “it's worth a shot” appeared just as often.

Sean, a father of one from Chicago bought a pack of CBD gummies after a friend recommended them. He enjoys the effect and says he likes the idea of popping one after a particularly long day at the office. “I wouldn't say that it's a major change; it just settles me a bit. It's nice to feel that calm and be in a good headspace for my family when I had a bad day,” he says. “It's easy to bring that stress home.”

Sean added that, around his family, he feels more comfortable popping one than he does drinking a few beers. “There's something more PG about it,” he says. “Either way, it's an occasional thing.” (Sean was quick to add that he keeps his gummies in the locked glove compartment of his car so his toddler won't accidentally stumble upon them.)

“It's kind of the equivalent of drinking non-alcoholic beer without knowing it's not alcoholic,”

For some dads, however, CBD's effect is too close to that of THC. Tom, a father of two from Jersey, tried CBD when he sprained his back. While it didn't help his pain, as a regular marijuana user, it reminded him enough of smoking pot to be a disappointing and confusing tease.

“It's kind of the equivalent of drinking non-alcoholic beer without knowing it's not alcoholic,” he said. “It's not alcoholic but there's this weird psychological effect that [makes you think] you'd feel stoned even though there's nothing.”

CBD, then, may be a little counter-intuitive for anybody who first smoked marijuana after being promised it would blow their mind. That's why so many tried marijuana in the first place. If CBD doesn't induce giggling fits or make music seem transcendently face-melting, what's the point?

But many dads taking CBD aren't looking to get high. They know what marijuana's like and have generally positive feelings about it. They're looking for calm or relief from pain.

Dan, a dad of two from California, said his local coffee joint serves a cold brew with CBD. “It's a pretty good way to get hyper and de-stressed at the same time,” he said. “Wouldn't say it's life changing exactly, but it does seem good for anxiety and a bit of calm.”

Dan said he felt the advertised calm of CBD but added that “honestly it's hard to sort out whether it's a placebo or not.”

“Alarmingly, a number of CBD products have contained toxic substances like the synthetic marijuana Spice and dextromethorphan, the ingredient in Robitussin that causes “robo tripping.”

Chris, a New York City father of two, is a long-time CBD user. He searched out the substance several years ago after a health food store employee recommended it for his sciatica back pain.

“I wanted to feel relaxed and get my muscles to relax,” Chris said. “I didn't necessarily need to be stoned. I didn't need the euphoria necessarily. I just needed the sedation.”

CBD didn't cure his back pain but it made it far more bearable. As it did so, it also turned down the volume on his anxiety.

“I was like, Wow, okay,” he said. “I'm sedated a little bit. It's not like I'm taking a valium, but I certainly feel the edge has been taken off.”

Despite his positive experience, Chris said it's not a cure for pain, but rather a tool for managing it. Dr. Patel said this was typical for people who treat pain with CBD.

“If you're in severe pain, don't expect the CBD oil to just poof, and magically get rid of it overnight,” she said. “It'll drop down realistically, mild to moderate levels.”

***

It's a common concern to try CBD and find it doesn't do anything at all. I don't have to travel far for an example. My personal CBD experience was underwhelming. I bought a vial of oil from a smoke shop to help my lower back pain. It didn't have an effect and I ended up turning instead to my usual regimen of bourbon, heat pads, and Aleve.

When I told Dr. Patel CBD didn't work for me, she suggested that the product I took may not have contained CBD at all. The FDA has only approved one CBD product for medical use, the epilepsy seizure drug Epidiolex. Otherwise, CBD is unregulated and unpredictable. A 2017 JAMA study tested 84 CBD products and found that only about a third of them accurately reflected the CBD it contained. The Food and Drug Administration has warned several CBD companies about mislabeling their products. Alarmingly, a number of CBD products have contained toxic substances like the synthetic marijuana Spice and dextromethorphan, the ingredient in Robitussin that causes “robo tripping.”

“I was like, Wow, okay. I'm sedated a little bit. It's not like I'm taking a valium, but I certainly feel the edge has been taken off.”

Of course, CBD products are an unregulated market with wild west rules. People have to be very discerning about what products they choose but there's scant information to go on. Chris said he quality controls by buying CBD products made from certified organic hemp. Patel said the best indicator for CBD quality is if the packaging states the product has been laboratory tested by a third-party, independent state-licensed lab. Otherwise, there's no guarantee that the ingredients of a CBD product aren't just something you already have in your kitchen.

“The amount of CBD can vary,” Patel said. “But it's important to know the exact amount because there have been some products that the FDA has found where they had little-to-no CBD in them. You don't want to be paying ridiculous amounts of money for a one-to-two ounce bottle of basically vegetable oil.”

Buyers definitely want the product to have some CBD, but getting more specific about dosage is elusive. There's no not a one size fits all correct dose. Effective dosages seem to vary from person to person, with bodyweight driving much of the variance.

Still, CBD offers a salve for some. After using it for three months, Paul bought into the CBD hype and would recommended it to dads trying to carve out some calm. He thought it was helping but suspected there might be a placebo effect at play, particularly when he considered the unscientific methodology he used for his CBD experiments.

“To be fair, most nights there is a cold eight-percent 16 oz craft IPA making its way into my dad bod as well,” he said.

via:

Adam Bulger Fatherly January 11, 2019 https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/cbd-pros-cons-anxiety-parents/

0 notes

cbdhn-blog · 5 years

Text

The Pros and Cons of CBD and the Parents Who Use It