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pinkfestivalpeanuttree · 5 months

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random slay the princess questions i have:

why do we get two new voices in the chapter 3 of the razor route?

why is the razor route the odd one out in so many ways

see previous question

only route with a chapter 4

only route without a chapter 3 that doesn't merge with any other chapter 2 (with the exception of the stranger)

only route that's basically set in stone (as in, the only major variations are whether you take the pristine blade in chapter 2 or not resulting in you either getting the razor or the razor's heart, and the rest of the plot is essentially the same)

one of two routes where you get every voice (and even then the nightmare route isn't set in stone to lead to the moment of clarity like the razor route is)

why is the gray route the only one with a major variation (burning vs drowned) (arguably there's also the networked wild vs the wounded wild, but those you get via your choices. the gray routes are noticably different right from the beginning)

what does the sequence of images in the nightmare -> moment of clarity route represent?

how can the narrator get a drink from wherever he is (presumably some sort of mindscape in the protagonist's head) and what would happen if he got drunk

also, if the protagonist got drunk would the voices get drunk by proxy

what exactly are the qualifications for the shifting mound taking a vessel away

usually for the chapter 2s it's once you and the princess escape the cabin, but the one that stuck out to me was the fury, since it felt really short in comparison to the other chapter 3s... and actually, the shifting mound takes away most of the chapter 3 princesses even if you haven't escaped the cabin

not exactly a question but i find it interesting how the interior of the cabin changes in chapter 2 and the woods change in chapter 3 but we never really see the exterior change with the exception of the moment of clarity and the razor (cheated teleports us to the cabin, so we can't say for sure)

does the razor know what a bird is

are there any parallels between the routes that merge into a chapter 3

for example, you get the fury by basically giving the princess an identity crisis (refusing to fight the adversary/fighting the adversary without the blade resulting in you failing to give her the mutual rivalry she craved, or stripping the tower of her divinity)

check out this post by @/lipstickchainsaw for a better analysis

damsel and prisoner are both, in a way, the damsel in distress trope, with the prisoner route being given a serious dose of cynicism, both sort of having a theme of trust (getting the voice of the skeptic in the prisoner route, both you and the princess needing to put trust in each other to escape the cabin: the prisoner putting her trust in you to figure out what to do with her severed head, the damsel and the smitten's blind trust in each other, and in a way, being distrusting of either of them is what results in the gray routes or the deconstructed damsel)

i got the trust theme from this post by @/honeyfizzly and the damsel in distress similarity from the tags on this reblog

the witch and the beast both get you the wild... catgirls?

fr though after thinking about this post by @/birdmitosis and how opportunist and hunted are both survival-oriented, a noticeable thing about the witch and the beast is that they're arguably the routes where you and the princess are most at odds with each other (mutual backstabbing vs predator and prey dynamic) and yet the wild is where the two of you are the most in sync- literally, you and her are one

nightmare and spectre get you wraith... ghost ladies?

idk about this one guys

help

also not a question but i find it fitting how the ending dialogue changes depending on your very, very first impression of the princess, whether you took the blade or not or if you got the stranger route- something something themes of perception and first impressions something something

is the narrator's world on the verge of an apocalypse or something or is he just a scared little bitch

considering his last words in the mirror i think it could be the former but the latter makes it easier to make fun of him

#slay the princess #stp #epilogue speaks #slay the princess spoilers #stp spoilers

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slunatic · 3 years

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My SwanQueen stuff

Hi, since I’m new here, I just want to take the time to share my work in case people are interesting in reading my stuff. Here’s a list of my SQ work complete with summaries. Going from newest to oldest.

1. Dead Giveaway: After getting Killian back from the Underworld, Emma has to deal with the fallout. Regina is gone and Emma's lost.

2. In the Public Eye: Emma and Regina are going through some martial problems and the entire town knows about it. The entire town also has opinions on it. They’re not helping at all.

3. Home, Sweet Home: Emma and Regina are engaged and getting married. They have to plan the wedding. Shenanigans ensue. It is them, after all. (This is the final part of a five part series called Who We Are). G!P, Alpha/Omega relationship.

4. Like a Look of Agony: After the exhausting adventure in Neverland, Regina, Emma, and Henry return to Storybrooke to more turmoil that starts with Regina giving up to the Charmings. Everyone is looking for Regina to be punished, except Emma. Somehow, Regina's punishment becomes Emma's as well. It gets worse from there.

5. Things Money Can’t Buy: After the death of her mother, Emma meets her birth father and he's rich. He's also annoying. He wants her to marry a man and brings it up every chance he gets. She's sick of hearing it, so she plots her revenge. Taking a female escort to his fancy party doesn't go exactly how she thought it would, though. G!P/Futa.

6. Tales of True Witchcraft: Emma gives a drunken lecture on what Regina means to her, not knowing Regina is listening.

7. In Case of a Flood: Emma and Regina's relationship continues to evolve. Henry presents and it's the start of changes in their family. It could eventually lead to their downfall. (This is part four of a five part series called Who We Are). G!P, Alpha/Omega relationship.

8. Here and Now: Consider this a missing chapter from Always Here. Emma has a sit down with her parents about how they treat Regina. (This was part five in a five part series called Right There).

9. Stay Here: Regina's worst fear is upon them, their children have questions about their origins. Emma is more than prepared for the moment with the kids. But, she also has to soothe her wife, who isn't ready for this, who might never be ready for this. (This was part four in a five part series called Right There).

10. Lessons in Love: Join Emma and Regina on their journey to syncing. They get closer to each other, but also with other members of their family as they grow more comfortable with who they are. (This is part three of a five part series called Who We Are). G!P, Alpha/Omega relationship.

11. Memory is the First to Go: When Emma injures herself, Regina tries to nurse her back to health, only to learn about a childhood trauma Emma seemed to forget about. Now that it's come to the surface, the trauma seems to consume Emma and Regina is at loss on how to help her partner as she spirals, unable to help herself.

12. Always Here: Sequel to Right Here. Regina and Emma try to live their lives, build their relationship, and raise their sons. They're working on being happy, like any other couple. But, Hook and Robin are there, attempting to stand in their way and tear their family apart. There might be even more sinister forces at play looking to separate Storybrooke's new favorite couple. (This was part three in a five part series called Right There).

13. Identity Crisis: While fighting a random villain, the group have a debate over ethnic identity.

14. Food for the Soul: Regina wanted to make Emma's first rut memorable, special. Emma takes things a step further, taking their family and relationship to another level. Their family might not be as willing to come along for the ride. (This is part two of a five part series called Who We Are). G!P, Alpha/Omega relationship.

***15. Here and There: This is a side story for Mulan and Marian. It's set during Right Here. The story chronicles Marian and Mulan's journey from bad situations to each other as they learn to live in this world. Some people throw obstacles in their way, but luckily there are people to help. Be a part of the trip to see how Mulan and Marian become their own family. ***SQ is in the background here, but they’re there.

16. Who We Are: Regina and Emma can hide from everyone, but each other. Until now, they were busy enough for it to not matter. Now, they’re affecting each other in ways where everyone might find out their secrets. Lives could be changed if they give in, especially their own. (This is part one of a five part series called Who We Are). G!P, Alpha/Omega relationship.

17. Right Here: Regina's been sick and Emma has a theory. Regina's pregnant. Regina thinks that's ridiculous, but Emma turns out to be right. From then on, Emma and Henry try to help Regina make it through a pregnancy that she doesn't seem very thrilled about. SwanQueen. Swan-Mills family moments. Reminders of OutlawQueen.

18. Lost in the Translation: Regina thinks the connection she feels with Emma is all in her mind. She says as much the day before Emma is going to marry Hook. Emma has to act fast before she loses Regina.

19. Devil’s Spawn: Set during/after "Save Henry." Pan spills a family secret that turns Regina's world upside down. At first, she wants justice or revenge. When she loses control of herself, she just wants to not feel like a thing. Emma, knowing that feeling, tries to help Regina maintain while not falling apart herself. Together, they go on a journey to discover just who they are, with Henry there to support them.

20. Out of the Darkness: Set at the end of Season 4. Emma shoves the dagger into the Darkness, but things don't go exactly as expected. But, then again, how could they expect Regina's grandmother to pop up? And, crazier still, how could they expect her to put their family together?

21. Making a Life: AU, set in a modern day Enchanted Forest/Fairy Tale realm.Emma and Regina are enjoying an affair that has become something more. Unfortunately, Regina's engaged and scared her mother will find out about the affair. Emma has huge family issues to sort out, like having one. It gets worse when they're seen together in a hotel. Will this blow up in their faces or can they beat the odds?

22. Little Girl Lost: Set after There's No Place Like Home, but ignores season 4. Emma has a magical mishap and Regina has to take care of her. Added to that, Henry has to learn to share Regina with Emma, who can be very bratty. They might all end up traumatized.

23. Under Her Skin: Set at the start of season 2. Instead of the wraith, Rumplestiltskin goes for something a little more personal, sinister, and slower when it comes to killing Regina. He curses Regina and Emma stays by her side as Regina wastes away. They have roughly a month to find a cure for a curse without one. If anyone can do the impossible, it should be them. Maybe.

24. Lady In Waiting: A side story to the Queen and Her Lady. See Lady's side of the story.

25. The Queen and Her Lady: Set after Welcome to Storybrooke. Regina is in a dark place after the death of her mother and Henry walking away from her. She locks herself away in her house, shutting out the world. She is ready to completely give up when an injured puppy ends up in her backyard. She saves the puppy ... or maybe the puppy saves her.

#swan queen #once in a lifetime #regina mills #emma swan #starvinglunatic #fanfic #story #romance #drama #swan mills family #family #writing #swen #angst #magic #fanfiction #ao3 work #swanqueen

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quentin-hafner · 3 years

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Being a leader isn’t for the faint of heart. It just might run you into the ground.

In a world that idealizes leadership positions because of their perceived stature around power, intelligence, and wealth, few people see behind the veil of leadership and the reality of the tremendous emotional burden that leadership positions carry. As a therapist and leadership coach helping leaders, I have been privileged in working closely with leaders to understand the emotional burden they carry.

The emotional toll of being a leader can be so emotionally burdening that it often leads to some form of a mid-life crisis.

Here is a definition of mid-life crisis from Wikipedia:

A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–55 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly shortcomings in life.

In working with leaders in the context of personal therapy & leadership consulting in their businesses, I’ve witnessed some really tragic stories as a result of the unaddressed mid-life crisis.

Things like:

8-figure businesses imploding because of the mid-life crisis of the CEO….and….

Families disintegrating because of the mid-life crisis.

I’ve also walked alongside several leaders through therapy and coaching and helped them steer clear of a most-likely mid-life crisis and catch it early. So, they were able to make the necessary life-pivots to get back on track and avoid a personal and occupational catastrophe.

I wanted to write something for all the great men and women leaders in the world, all of whom are at some level of risk for a mid-life crisis due to the emotional, psychological, and mental demands that leadership positions place on people.

Having a mid-life crisis is never about just one thing in your life being out of sync. The mid-life crisis is a result of a culmination of several aspects of your life being out of sync, all happening at the same time. If you’re a leader reading this, consider reading it with an open mind, and take an honest assessment along the way and ask yourself if any of these ideas are applicable to your life and your current situation. Although there are many avenues to get help, therapy and coaching for something like this can be an absolute positive game-changer.

Leader on The Edge: 5 Ingredients That Lead to a Mid-Life Crisis

#1 You’ve Been in a Transition:

The first ingredient of a mid-life crisis unfolding is being in some transitionary state in your life. The transition might be related to your job, or it might be related to your personal life. Being in life-transitions are difficult; it’s stressful, confusing, and brings up a lot of difficult feelings. When we’re in life-transitions, it leaves you ripe for suppressed emotions to come to the surface.

Different types of life-transitions include: Becoming empty-nesters, leaving a current position, having a new child, getting a new promotion, shutting down a current business, or gearing up for possible retirement.

It’s in these transitionary states that we often experience existential-type crises and start wondering about the meaning, purpose, and quality of our lives. Going through some type of life-transition often evokes suppressed or buried emotions and gets us questioning the status quo. This alone doesn’t lead to a mid-life crisis, but is one ingredient that is often present (along with the other 4 below) that lead to the mid-life crisis.

#2 You’ve Been Disconnected from Emotions

The second ingredient of the mid-life crisis is being disconnected from your emotional state. The mid-life crisis, in its purest form, is an “acting-out” of your emotion; meaning you are not aware of your emotional state internally, and need to play this emotion out behaviorally through your actions.

Being disconnected from your emotions will almost always result in an unhealthy relationship with alcohol or some form of substance abuse. I’ve never met a leader going through a mid-life crisis that didn’t also struggle with alcohol.

Mid-life crises are a result of being depressed, burnt-out, anxious, and stressed out. It’s these emotions, that the leader doesn’t tend to, that contribute to the mid-life crisis. Most leaders, buried under a mountain of stress, feel like they don’t have time, capacity, or bandwidth to get in touch with their emotions. And this is perhaps their #1 biggest error. By not becoming connected with our emotional states, it nearly always leads to some form of a crisis.

#3 You’ve Been Unfulfilled & Stuck

The third ingredient that contributes to the mid-life crisis for leaders is a sense of being unfulfilled, and stuck. Maybe they feel unfulfilled at home, or on the job. Or both. Either way, whether at home or on the job, there is a hunger pang about wanting something more out of life.

Gone is the zeal and the enthusiasm for new adventures. When working with leaders who are in the midst of a mid-life crisis, I often ask them what they do for fun. And nearly always, the answer is the same; “Very little.”

When enough time goes by felling unfulfilled, and a bit hopeless about what to do about it, the result (combined with the other 4 factors) is often the mid-life crisis. Very often, for people in leadership roles, they have tied their identity, life-style, responsibility for others, and their own self-worth to their leadership position and see no way out or making it better. It’s this sense of feeling trapped that often contributes to the mid-life crisis.

#4 You’ve Been Successful

Believe it or not, being successful is the fourth ingredient for the mid-life crisis. Mid-life crises rarely happen when things are difficult, or just barely getting by in life. They almost always happen when things are going smooth, and when most of life seems to be running on auto-pilot. It’s part of the peril of being high-achieving and successful. Leaders come to work themselves out of usefulness and often feel bored, under-utilized, not challenged, and overall discontent. They might have everything they want materially, but have very little otherwise.

Very rarely does someone blow up their life with a mid-life crisis when they’re just trying to survive week to week. The mid-life crisis is often a subconscious risk leaders are willing to take once they’ve reached a certain level of success. It doesn’t make rational sense, I know. That’s why it’s often subconscious.

#5 You’ve Been Isolated

The fifth ingredient for the mid-life crisis is being isolated. Being isolated is one of the biggest challenges for the modern leader. They rarely have places to turn when things are not going well. Sure, they might be part of a leadership group such as EO, Vistage, or YPO, but in my experience, these groups are rarely an outlet to discuss what’s really going on in their life. Although these groups are certainly helpful and valuable, there is still a need to maintain the façade of having it all together.

Because of the societal pressures placed on CEO’s to appear to “have it all together”, they rarely have places to turn to discuss life’s troubles, fears, doubts, drinking problems, or active affairs. And when we struggle with life’s challenges in isolation, it’s very difficult to pull ourselves out of it on our own.

Do you, or someone you know, resonate with these 5 elements of the mid-life crisis? If you do, please know there is so much you can do to change the tide before things get worse.

I wanted to write this blog to shed light on the typical mid-life crisis experience I have worked with so many times in my practice. Hopefully it serves as a barometer to measure your own life and gain insight into what might be going on, before it overtakes your life, your business, and your personal well-being.

Believe it or not, going through a mid-life crisis, although it can be very painful to you and those close to you, can be a tremendous opportunity to make corrective changes to your life that can put you on a healthy path toward happiness, peace-of-mind, and healthy sustainability.

How many of the 5 ingredients do you resonate with?

As a personal therapist and leadership coach to many successful men and women in Newport Beach, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you think I can be helpful to you navigating a hard time in your life.

#Mid-Life Crisis

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glorifyingcollections · 5 years

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The Pain of Intimacy Without Matrimony 1. It’s okay to cry — and you probably should. Breakups almost always hurt. Maybe you didn’t see it coming, and the other person suddenly wants out. Maybe you were convinced it needed to end, but knew how hard it would be to tell them. Maybe you’ve been together for years. Maybe you love their family and friends. Without the ceremony and covenant, it’s not a divorce, but it can feel like it. It feels like divorce for a reason. You weren’t made for this misery. God engineered romance to express itself in fidelity and loyalty — in oneness (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:9; 1 Corinthians 7:2–13). Because dating is only a means to marriage, God’s design for our marriages speaks to his design for our dating relationships. Dating that dives in too quickly or dumps too carelessly does not reflect God’s intention. This doesn’t mean every dating relationship should end in marriage, but it does mean breakups will hurt. Sorrow in the midst of the severing is not only appropriate, but good. It’s nothing to hide or be ashamed of. God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts, like Christ’s lasting love for his bride. So feel free to feel, and know that the pain points to something beautiful about your God and his undying love for you. And if it doesn’t hurt, it probably should. If you can come in and out of romance without pain or remorse, something sounds out of sync. This doesn’t mean you have to be ruined by every breakup, but there should be a sense that this isn’t right — it’s not how it’s supposed to be. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed. God needs to show some of us the gravity of failed relationships because of what they wrongly suggest about him and his love for the church. 2. Don’t try again too quickly. Knowing and embracing God’s design for permanence in marriage and dating will help us feel appropriately, but it will also help us take healthy next steps in our pursuit of marriage. One of the worst and most popular mistakes is moving on to the next one too soon. Especially in the age of online dating and social media, we really don’t have to work very hard to find another prospect. “God created you to enjoy and thrive in love that lasts. Hearts weren’t built to be borrowed.” Tweet Share on Facebook Affection can be an addiction. If you’ve been on dates, held hands, seen smiles, exchanged notes, experienced the sweetness of another’s attention and affirmation, you will want more. And the easiest way to find it is to rebound right away. But if we care about God, our witness, our ex, and our future significant other, we’ll wait, pray, and date patiently and carefully. It’s too easy to leave a trail of wounded people behind in our pursuit of a partner. It’s a lie to think that you’re not moving toward marriage if you’re not dating someone right now. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your future spouse is to not date. If your history looks serial, you might need to break up with dating for a while. It can be a time to regroup, grow, and discover a new rhythm for your future relationship. 3. You may have failed, but God didn’t. The relationship may be over because of a specific character flaw or failure. There are things about us — weaknesses or patterns of behavior — that may disqualify us for marriage with a particular person. But it does not nullify God’s grace to and through you. Sin in relationships is some of the most visible and painful. As we let each other further and further into our lives and hearts, the sin is more likely to show itself and to cut the other person more deeply. In the right measure, it is the good and proper risk of all Christian fellowship. As people come closer, and we need this in true Christian community, our sin inevitably becomes more dangerous. Our mess is more likely to splash onto others, and theirs on us. But whoever has done the failing in your breakup, it wasn’t God. Because of Jesus, his promises never to leave or forsake you are true every moment and in every relationship status. If you are trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of your sin and striving to follow him and his word, God has never abandoned you, and he will never abandon you. God didn’t take a break from loving you in your breakup — even if you’re the reason it’s over. His purposes are bigger than your blunders. 4. You are better having loved and lost. There’s a unique shame and brokenness associated with breakups. Relationships and love may be celebrated more in the church than anywhere else because we (rightly) love marriage so much. Unfortunately, these same convictions often make breakups an uncomfortable conversation — at best embarrassing and at worst scandalous or humiliating. You feel like damaged goods, like you’ve been ruined in God’s eyes or in the eyes of others. The hard-to-believe, but beautiful truth is that broken-up you is a better you. If in your sorrow you turn to the Lord and repent of whatever sin you brought to this relationship, you are as precious to your heavenly Father as you have ever been, and he is using every inch of your heartache, failure, or regret to make you more of what he created you to be and to give you more of what he created you to enjoy — himself. When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and the fortune he’s purchased for us with his blood. He has become for us wisdom for the foolish, righteousness for sinners, sanctification for the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid (1 Corinthians 1:30) — and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman reeling after the end of a relationship. So even in the aftermath of a breakup we have reason to boast, as long as our boast is in everything Christ is for us (1 Corinthians 1:31). In Jesus, God is always and only doing good to you. There’s no circumstance facing you that he’s not engineering to give you deep and durable life and freedom and joy. He loves our lasting joy in him much more than he loves our temporary comfort today. He’ll make the trade any day, and we can be glad he does. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst. 5. Even if you can’t be friends now, you will be siblings forever. For Christian relationships, breakups are never the end. Whether it sounds appealing now or not, you will be together forever (Revelation 7:9–10). And you’ll do so in a new world where no one is married, and everyone is happy (Matthew 22:30; Psalm 16:11). Sounds too good to be true, right? So what would it mean to move on and think about our ex in light of eternity? “Because of God’s good and sovereign grace, you are better having loved and lost.” Tweet Share on Facebook While you will meet again and forever in heaven, you may not be able to be friends now. And that is not necessarily sinful. In fact, in many cases, the healthiest thing emotionally and spiritually will be to create some space and boundaries. Hearts that have been given away, at whatever level, need to heal and develop new expectations again. Reconciliation does not require closeness. It does require forgiveness and brotherly love. You could start by praying for them, even when you can’t handle talking to them. Pray that their faith would increase, that God would bring believing brothers or sisters around them, that he would heal and restore their heart, that he would make them more like Jesus. We need to learn to live today in our relationships, old and new, in light of our eternity together. Our patience, kindness, and forgiveness in breakups will shine beautifully next to the selfish, vindictive responses modeled in reality TV and adopted thoughtlessly by the rest of the world. 6. “It’s not you, it’s God” is not enough. It might be one of the most popular Christian break-up lines. “God is leading me to do this.” “God told me we need to break up.” “I saw a vision in a bush on my way to class and we weren’t together.” All of them can probably be summed up like this: “Look, it’s not you, it’s God.” God very well may lead you to a breakup, but don’t use him as a scapegoat. Own your own sin and ask for forgiveness where it is needed. Then be honest about how you came to this decision, how he made this direction clear to you. Sure, some things will be intangible, but find the tangible factors. This is not a license to say harmful things, but helpful things, even if they may hurt initially. First, it’s wise not to be alone in your opinion about the need to break up. Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend may not agree, but you need to share and confirm your perspective with someone who loves Jesus and both of you. Go to someone you know can assess your heart in wanting to get out. If it can be a married man or woman, all the better. Talk to someone who knows what it takes to persevere in marriage, and see what they think about your “deal-breaker(s)” in the relationship. Our imagination, especially in an emotional crisis, can be a lethal weapon that Satan leverages against us for evil. When we leave everything vague and spiritual, our ex will not, and the majority of what their mind creates will be lies from the devil to destroy them. Give them enough information about how God led you to this decision without crushing them or tearing them down. I say “enough” because there are lots of true-but-unhelpful things you could say. Again, run your talking points past a Christian brother or sister before taking them to your soon-to-be ex. In the end, they don’t have to agree with you, but it’s loving to help them toward the clarity and closure you’re feeling. It just may free them to grow and move forward sooner and with fewer questions. 7. Your Father knows your needs. You’re probably questioning this in the wake of your breakup, but God does know what you need, and he’s never too slow to provide it. He might reveal things to you about the things you thought you needed. Or he might simply show you how much more you need him than anything or anyone else. God feeds the unemployed birds of the air (Matthew 6:26). God grows the flowers of the field and makes them beautiful, even though they’ll be cut, stomped, eaten, or frozen in a matter of days or weeks (Matthew 6:28–30). How much more will this Father care and provide for his blood-bought children? When you ask for a husband, he won’t give you a snake. When you ask for a wife, he won’t give you a scorpion. Even when it looks like he’s done you harm, he hasn’t. He loves you. He knows what’s best for you. And all things are at his disposal. All things. One way God provides for us through breakups is by making it clear — by whatever means and for whatever reason — this relationship was not his plan for our marriage. The heart of Christian dating is looking for clarity more than intimacy. This probably won’t taste sweet in the moment, but if you treasure clarity, breakups won’t be all bad news. We all know some of the news we need most is hardest for a time, but fruitful down the road. Trust him to provide for you each day (or year) whether you get married or not. If you do get married, know that he will bring the imperfect man or woman you need. 8. Learn from love lost. One of Satan’s greatest victories in a breakup is convincing a guy or girl, “It was all the other person’s fault, and I’ve already arrived as a future husband or wife.” The reality is no one — married or not — has fully arrived this side of glory. We are all flawed and filled with the Spirit, so we will all always be learning and growing as people and spouses — present or future. After the emotional tidal wave has crashed and passed, take some time alone and then with close friends to assess where God’s carrying you — who he’s making you to be — through this. Identify an area or areas where you want to strive to be more gracious or more discerning or more faithful — more like Jesus — moving forward. You won’t have many relational crossroads more intense, personal, and specific as a breakup, so it truly is a unique time for some hopeful, healthy introspection, checked and balanced by some other believers. 9. Jesus will help you find joy in the shadows of heartbreak. When we’re left alone and feeling abandoned, it’s really hard to believe anyone knows what we’re going through. That may even be true of the good-intentioned people around you. It is not true of Jesus. This Jesus came and was broken to give hope to the broken. “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory; and in his name the Gentiles will have hope” (Matthew 12:20–21). “Jesus came and was broken to give hope to the broken.” Tweet Share on Facebook The joy is not in knowing that Jesus had it hard, too. Not much comfort there. The joy is in knowing that the one who suffered in your place died and rose again to end suffering for his saints. God saved the world and defeated death through his suffering, and your suffering in the midst of your walk with Jesus — in this case, in a breakup — unites you to that victory, the greatest victory ever won. For those who hope in Jesus, all pain — unexpected cancer, unfair criticism, an unwanted break up — was given an expiration date and repurposed until then to unite us in love to our suffering Savior. Jesus went before the brokenhearted to pave the way for joy in pain. We live, survive, and thrive by looking to him, “who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). His joy before the wrath of God against sin is our first and greatest reason to fight for joy — not just survival — after a breakup. If you believe that, then make the most of this breakup, knowing God has chosen this particular path to grow and gratify you in ways that last. No relationship you have in this life will last forever, but the good things that happen through them in you — even through their sorrows, yes even through their collapses — will.

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Being a leader isn’t for the faint of heart. It just might run you into the ground.

The emotional toll of being a leader can be so emotionally burdening that it often leads to some form of a mid-life crisis.

Here is a definition of mid-life crisis from Wikipedia:

In working with leaders in the context of personal therapy & consulting, I’ve witnessed some really tragic stories as a result of the mid-life crisis.

Things like:

8-figure businesses imploding because of the mid-life crisis of the CEO….and….

Families disintegrating because of the mid-life crisis.

I’ve also walked alongside several leaders and helped them steer clear of a possible mid-life crisis and catch it early. So, they were able to make the necessary life-pivots to get back on track and avoid a personal and occupational catastrophe.

Leader on The Edge: 5 Ingredients That Lead to a Mid-Life Crisis

#1 You’ve Been in a Transition:

#2 You’ve Been Disconnected from Emotions

#3 You’ve Been Unfulfilled & Stuck

#4 You’ve Been Successful

#5 You’ve Been Isolated

Do you, or someone you know, resonate with these 5 elements of the mid-life crisis? If you do, please know there is so much you can do to change the tide before things get worse.

Click here to learn more.

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quentin-hafner · 4 years

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Being a leader isn’t for the faint of heart. It just might run you into the ground.

The emotional toll of being a leader can be so emotionally burdening that it often leads to some form of a mid-life crisis.

Here is a definition of mid-life crisis from Wikipedia:

In working with leaders in the context of personal therapy & consulting, I’ve witnessed some really tragic stories as a result of the mid-life crisis.

Things like:

8-figure businesses imploding because of the mid-life crisis of the CEO….and….

Families disintegrating because of the mid-life crisis.

Leader on The Edge: 5 Ingredients That Lead to a Mid-Life Crisis

#1 You’ve Been in a Transition:

#2 You’ve Been Disconnected from Emotions

#3 You’ve Been Unfulfilled & Stuck

#4 You’ve Been Successful

#5 You’ve Been Isolated

Do you, or someone you know, resonate with these 5 elements of the mid-life crisis? If you do, please know there is so much you can do to change the tide before things get worse.

How many of the 5 ingredients do you resonate with Quentin Hafner?

Click here to learn more.

0 notes