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vanwritesfan-fiction · 9 months

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I’ve Been Keeping a Secret

Pairings: Husband!Travis Kelce x Wife!Reader

Words: 1,425

Warnings: Nothing, pure fluff!

Ever since Travis had said goodbye to you three days ago before he headed out for his away game in Tampa, he had only been thinking about you. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but you had been different lately. He spent the entire plane ride replaying your last couple of fights in his head to see if something had set you off and was still bothering you. In his hotel room, he scrolled through his pictures of you until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, trying to commit your beautiful face to memory. He was even off his game the first half because he couldn’t get you out of his head. Something was off about how you said goodbye to him.

Your kiss was short and sweet, a simple peck on the lips before you headed out for breakfast with his mom. Anyone else wouldn’t have thought much about it, but you usually made a big deal of his leaving, cooing over him, making sure he had a snack to take with him on the way to the plane because you knew he got cranky if he was hungry. Your kiss was usually deep and passionate, making sure it lingered on his lips for the entire duration of his trip. He was usually always 10 minutes late to the jet because you wouldn’t let him go. This time he was 10 minutes early; the team gave him shit about it.

He was settled into bed, exhausted from the game when he decided to give you a call and wish you a good night. You picked up his facetime immediately, lying in bed yourself. “Hey, baby.” Travis gave you that handsome smile that still gave you butterflies after all these years. His voice was gruff from yelling all game. “Hey love. How was the game? Congrats on the win.” “It was good, can’t wait to get back home, though. I miss you so much baby.” You rolled onto your stomach, propping your phone on the nightstand. “I miss you too, but you’ll be home tomorrow.” Your eyes started to flutter close, Travis enjoying the sight of you peaceful and safe. “I’ll let you go baby, goodnight.” He wanted to stay up all night with you, trying to figure out what if anything was wrong, but he didn’t want to push the issue tonight. “Goodnight.” You returned the sentiment before ending the call.

“You think he suspects anything?” Mama Kelce walked into your bedroom, a cup of tea and a heating pad in her hands. You chuckled, covering your face with your hands. “Uh, I hate keeping this from him. This is killing me.” His mom set the cup of tea on the nightstand before placing the heating pad on your stomach and covering you with the comforter. She sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking your arm in sympathy. “I know honey, but if he knew you were pregnant, he would have never left for the game. He would have wanted to stay with you for the rest of the season.” You laughed, knowing she was right. When it came to you, Travis didn’t act rationally. He would drop anything if you asked him to, and until about three days ago, you weren’t even sure you were pregnant.

Your symptoms had been pretty mild, but when you were up sick the night before Travis left for the road, you thought you had a stomach bug, something that had been going around. Travis offered to take you to the doctor the next morning, but you didn’t want him to get sick and wanted him focused on his game. You expected to get a prescription of steroids, but instead found out that you were three months pregnant. You and Travis had talked extensively about starting a family, but wanted to wait a little while, having only been married two years, still enjoying the honeymoon phase of your relationship. You cried tears of joy in the parking lot for over an hour, incredibly excited, but for some reason you just couldn’t dial Travis’ number. It was then that you decided Travis deserved a grand gesture to let him know you were going to be parents.

When you got home, your husband was on his way out. You were afraid if you opened your mouth, you would spill the surprise. You gave him a quick kiss, sending him on his way. You hoped you had been convincing, but Travis noticed immediately. The next couple of days were agony, but Mama Kelce and Kylie helped you create t-shirts for your nieces to wear, the girls excited to be such a big part of your surprise. When you weren’t knocked down with morning sickness, you decorated the house with balloons. The nerves started to set in when Travis texted you they were about to land, knowing that you had about 30 minutes until he was home. The family was gathered in the living room, buzzing with excitement, and you were just trying not to hurl.

Travis texted you again when he was in the car, and when you heard the garage door opening, everyone hid in the living room. You turned the lights off and headed to the kitchen. “Y/N, where are you?” Travis dropped his bags beside the door, and trekked to the kitchen, seeing the lights on. You were sitting at the island, trying to look busy on your phone. Travis wrapped you in a tight hug from behind, surprising you. You stood from the chair, and Travis immediately started planting kisses all over your face. “I missed you”, he whispered, tucking his face into your neck. “I missed you too. Come on, let’s go into the living room. I want to tell you something.” You dragged Travis by the hand, pushing him down onto the couch before taking a seat on the coffee table. You heard Elliotte giggling behind the potted plant and cleared your throat to cover the sound.

Travis’ face was blanketed in worry. He wasn’t sure what you were going to say, but he had been agonizing over it the last 72 hours and was sure it wasn’t good. “What’s going on?”, Travis asked as he grabbed both of your hands in his, rubbing his thumbs over your knuckles. You dropped your eyes to the floor, letting out a sigh. “I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” Travis leaned back on the couch, not even noticing it was dark in the room. “Oh my god. Are you seeing someone else?” “What?” you laughed at his ridiculous question. “I’m gone all the time, I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Alright, I think that’s enough.” Travis’ dad flipped on the light, revealing your family hiding in spots around the room. “Surprise Uncle Travis!” Wyatt jumped out, blissfully unaware of what was going on. Travis took the sight in around him, a smile creeping on his face. “Welcome Home!” he read out on Wyatt and Elliotte’s shirts. “Thank you baby, this is a great surprise.” He envelopes you in a hug, planting a kiss on your forehead. “Before you thank me, remember you have three nieces.” You led Travis over to Bennett, who was sleeping peacefully in her car seat. He pulled her shirt down gently. “Daddy”, he read out. “Didn’t think you would want everyone to know your nickname for me, but okay Y/N.” Travis’ dad let out a groan as you rolled your eyes. “Put it all together, T”, Mama Kelce called out. “Welcome Home, Daddy”, he repeated, the sentence not clicking. “Welcome Home Daddy”, you rubbed your non-existent belly. “What?” Tears began to well in Travis’ eyes immediately, the message finally clicking.

“You’re gonna be a daddy, babe”, your voice cracked at the words. The sight of Travis crying was making you emotional. Travis picked you up, pulling you in tightly before locking lips with you, his tears hitting your cheeks. He exchanged hugs with the rest of his family before coming back over to you. “What was with all of that cheating stuff?” you asked him now that the anticipation had settled. Travis shrugged, “You were different when I left on Monday.” “So, you assumed the worst?” you rubbed his back. “I’ll never do that again.” Elliotte came over, asking to be picked up by Travis. He lifted her in his arms, Elliott hugging his neck. “Were you suprised?” she asked. Travis smiled. “I was, thank you for helping”. “You’re welcome!” she responded, “Auntie Y/N couldn’t do it because she can’t keep sequets”.

#travis kelce fluff #travis kelce fic #travis kelce imagine #travis kelce x reader #travis kelce #traviskelce #nfl fan fic #nfl fic #nfl fluff #nfl imagine

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phillippadgettwrites · 3 months

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Dropped Call, Chapter 2

Rated X / 3700 words / posted on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

They’re in Lakeland, Florida and it’s been pissing rain since they hit the tarmac in Tampa. Between the inability to keep his loafers dry, the fact that he forgot his glasses, and the lack of cable in his motel room, Mulder is in a seriously bad fucking mood. He even turned down dinner with Scully, something that is typically the highlight of his day on assignment, to spare her from his grouchiness. He always hates himself when he’s an asshole to her for no justifiable reason, and right now he doesn’t possess the capacity to regulate his emotions as effectively as he’d need to to avoid it.

At this point, he’s come to the conclusion that the phone call was some kind of hyper-realistic dream or fantasy. Given, the facts don’t totally line up in support of that theory, but it’s easier to operate under the belief that it never happened than it is to accept the idea that it did happen but will never be spoken of, much less acted on. Easier than accepting that he unwittingly divulged graphic details regarding his sexual fantasies about Scully to Scully herself, and she was so horrified that she can only cope by acting as though the phone call never took place at all.

But was she really horrified? His memory of the exact words spoken by each of them isn’t especially sharp, given that he thought he was speaking to Electra, but he’s pretty sure he remembers her asking him questions, goading him into sharing more. And he knows that he correctly recalls what she said about “enjoying other meals,” because by then he knew exactly what he’d done and who he was speaking to, and the high he experienced in light of her confession lasted well into the following day, right up until he knocked on her door with a paper bag containing tom kah gai in hand.

She hadn’t acted strangely, aside from the general lethargy caused by her cold, and that in itself struck him as strange. She ate her soup, smiled at him while he detailed the creative ways he’d wasted time that morning in her absence, and then yawned and said she was going to take a nap. It’s not that he was expecting her to bring up the phone call or kiss him goodbye or something, but he thought things would feel…different. He certainly felt different.

But weeks have passed, and she has more than fully recovered from her cold, yet there is nary a hint of increased sexual tension between the two of them. In fact, there’s been a distinct lack of their typical casual flirtations, almost like they’ve regressed. What conclusion can he come to other than she’s just not interested? She seems to want to pretend it never happened, and for lack of a better option he’s done the same.

He calls the front desk again, hoping that he’ll get someone other than the exceedingly unhelpful young man who offered apologies regarding the lack of cable, but no solutions. After speaking to the night shift manager at length, his options are to move to a room clear on the other side of the complex, or go without.

“Let me think about it and call you back,” he says, then slams the phone down on the receiver with more force than is necessary and flops onto the bed.

Within seconds the phone is ringing and he picks it back up, expecting to hear the night manager on the other end.

“Yeah?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

He can hear the ghost of her voice through the poorly insulated wall between their rooms, a murmuring, indecipherable vibration.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted the rest of this pizza, but I kept getting a busy signal so it’s probably cold now,” she says.

“I’ll never understand your aversion to cold pizza,” he says.

She makes a noncommittal little noise, and then they are quiet for a beat.

“So who were you talking to?” she asks.

Her voice is a bit higher than normal, giving away her attempt to appear disinterested in the answer, and that, in turn, piques Mulder’s curiosity.

“Who do you think?” he replies, just to see what she’ll say.

Scully scoffs as though this confirms what she already suspected.

“Please send my regards to Electra,” she snarks. The reference to their previously unmentionable phone call sends a shock of adrenaline through him. He can’t think of anything to say, so he just doesn’t say anything. “What time do you want to head out tomorrow?” Scully says quickly, changing the subject, and he can nearly feel her embarrassment radiating through the wall.

“Nine?” he suggests, and she grunts her agreement. There’s another pregnant pause, and he decides to seize the opportunity. “I told Electra about what happened,” he says, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.

“Oh?” Scully says after a beat.

“Mmhmm,” Mulder replies, summoning courage. “She said you’re going to put her out of a job.”

Scully huffs an uncomfortable little laugh.

“I highly doubt that,” she says quietly.

They’ve never had an issue with awkward silences. As many hours as they spend in one another’s company, it’s just not possible to avoid lulls in conversation, and he’s long appreciated the fact that Scully doesn’t try to fill them with meaningless drivel. An unfortunate side effect of this is that on those occasions where they are intentionally avoiding a specific topic of conversation, the weight of those unfilled silences is practically unbearable.

He wants to ask her so many questions. Why didn't she tell him it was her? Was she disgusted by what he said? What did her cryptic comment about “enjoying other meals” really mean? Is this a door she never wants to open, or does she just need him to open it for her so they can both walk through?

“I’m sorry about that, by the way,” he blurts out, inexplicably compelled to keep them on this subject. “We’ve never talked about it, but I realize that it was probably really weird for you and…sorry.”

Part of him knows he’s fishing for information. If she accepts his apology, he can take that to mean that an apology was due. If she refutes the need for one, that will tell him something entirely different.

She doesn’t do either of those things.

“Well, I could have hung up,” she says, her tone inscrutable.

“But you didn’t,” he says, equally ambiguous.

“No,” she says.

The silence is so fucking heavy it makes him feel sick.

“Why is that?” he ventures. “Just out of curiosity.”

He hears her pull in a slow, deep breath and then expel it in a huff.

“I’m not sure,” she finally says. He can’t tell whether she’s obfuscating.

“Were you offended?”

“...No.”

“Surprised?”

“Very.”

“Was that surprise of the pleasant or unpleasant variety?” he asks, switching the handset from one ear to the other so he can wipe his sweaty palms on the bedspread.

He’s listening so intently that he hears both the wet sounds of her tongue moving around inside her mouth in search of words, as well as the creak of bed springs as she shifts uncomfortably on the mattress.

“I’m not sure how to answer that,” she says after a time.

What the fuck does that mean? He wonders. He could logically conclude that she was into it, between the not hanging up, the asking of questions, and the hesitance to outright say whether it bothered her. But this is Scully, and the risk of making an incorrect assumption is not one he is willing to take.

“How long have you been talking to her?” she asks, and at first he doesn’t understand the question. Talking to who?

“Oh, I was actually talking to the front desk,” he says, realizing that he never corrected her. “The cable in my room is out.”

“Oh,” she says. “So you didn’t really tell her about what happened?”

Her tone is strange and foreign to him. She sounds uncertain, insecure almost.

“I did, a few weeks ago.”

“Hm.”

“To answer your question, I’ve been talking to her for….I guess a little over a year now,” he says.

This would typically be an embarrassing thing to disclose, but her active participation in a phone call of the same nature makes him feel like she doesn’t really have a place to judge. He also finds her curiosity regarding Electra compelling, though he can’t really say why.

“Oh,” she says, sounding surprised. “That’s a long time. With one person, I mean.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

He can tell there’s something she’s not saying. Something she wants to ask him, or wants to know but is unwilling to ask. He has an overwhelming urge to tell her everything, to detail the ways that talking to Electra helps him cope with having to bury his feelings for Scully every weekday between the hours of 9-5, plus most weekends. He wants to tell her that it’s not just about sex, though it was the night he ended up with her on the line. That Electra knows exactly what Scully looks like, down to the little mole on her upper lip, and that she snorts if he manages to make her laugh hard enough. That for every time he’s jerked off while telling Electra what he wishes he could do with Scully physically, there were two phone calls where he kept his pants on and told her how tormented he is by his inability to get closer to her emotionally.

“It’s not always like that,” he says, opting for a less detailed disclosure. “Most of the time when I talk to her, we just talk.”

“About what?” she asks, and he immediately feels his face get hot.

“I feel like you already know the answer to that,” he says, equally mortified and irritated. It doesn’t seem fair for her to feign ignorance at this point.

Scully is quiet, but he knows her mind is racing. He can feel it, a frenetic crackle against the shell of his ear.

“I guess I do,” she says when he’s just about to ask if she’s still there. “I don’t want you to think…” she starts. He waits for her to find the right words. “I don’t want you to think I was offended or that I’m upset about what happened,” she says carefully. “I realize that it might seem like I am, so I just wanted you to know that I’m not.”

“Okay,” he says uncertainly. This is good news, in a way, but it’s also non-news.

“I also owe you an apology,” she continues. “It was inappropriate of me not to tell you as soon as I realized. I violated your privacy, and I’m very sorry for that.”

“No apology needed,” he says. A beat passes. This is ridiculous. “Can we just—Look, I know this is awkward, and I know you’re a private person, but can we just—”

“I don’t think I’m ready to do that,” she interrupts him, her voice urgent and a little afraid.

He takes a moment to absorb this.

“You’re not ready to talk about it,” he says, and she hums in confirmation. “But you’re….interested? Open to it? Eventually?”

“Eventually,” she repeats. “Not now.”

“Okay,” he says, satisfied that he understands the situation. “I can and will respect that.”

“Thank you.”

“See you at 9 tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

He hangs up the phone and folds his hands over his belly, staring at the dusty popcorn ceiling as he thinks back through it all. A little smile plays at the corners of his mouth. Eventually isn’t something he can necessarily look forward to, but it’s a hell of a lot better than never.

The phone rings, and reaches across the nightstand to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

Mulder’s eyebrows furrow. The voice is definitely female, but he can’t immediately place it

“Hi. Who’s this?”

The caller clears her throat.

“Uh, this is…it’s Electra,” she says.

A hot flush spreads out over his entire body, and there’s a slight ringing in his ears.

“Hi,” he says, sitting up. “How are you?”

“I’m well,” she says. “What are you doing?”

He hears the vibration of her voice from the other side of the wall, the cadence of it a millisecond ahead of what comes to his ear through the phone.

“I’m just relaxing,” he says. He suddenly doesn’t know how to behave. “I’m at a motel and there’s no cable in my room.”

“Oh no,” she says. “What are you going to do to entertain yourself?”

Her tone is awkward and unconfident, but he understands what she’s going for and plays along.

“I don’t know,” he says, swinging his feet over the side of the bed. “Any ideas?”

“Well,” she says, her voice just this side of shaky. “You could tell me about another one of your fantasies, if you want.”

There is a rush of blood to his lap that makes him momentarily lightheaded. She’s really doing this.

“Okay,” he says, but his mind goes blank. What is she hoping to hear? What if he says something she finds offensive? This is a lot harder when he knows it’s Scully he’s talking to. “Give me a second to think of something.”

“Last time we talked, you said you had other fantasies of the same nature,” she says hesitantly.

“I do,” he confirms. “I just…sorry, you just caught me off guard.”

“I can relate,” she says with just a hint of coyness, and that makes him relax a little.

He lays back down on the bed and closes his eyes. If he’s going to do this, he has to pretend it’s really Electra on the line.

“Okay,” he says. “Something that’s important to know for context is that she loves to take baths.”

“She?”

Mulder opens his eyes, taken out of the moment. He never has to specify with Electra; there’s only one “she” he’s ever referring to.

“My partner,” he says reluctantly.

“Oh,” she replies. “Okay, go ahead.”

Mulder closes his eyes again and lets the image of his fantasy fill his mind. The tiled walls of Scully’s bathroom, the bright smell of her lavender bubble bath, her dirty clothes in a heap on the floor by the tub.

“One of my fantasies is that I stop by her apartment unannounced, and I hear her call out for me to let myself in. So I use my key, and once I’m inside she tells me that she’s in the bath.” He pauses to see if she has any commentary on this, but she says nothing. “I start talking to her through the door, which is something I’ve done a handful of times, but in my fantasy she tells me to come in.” Another pause. All he hears is her even breathing. “She’s in the bath, but it’s so full of bubbles that I can’t see anything. I sit on a little stool beside the tub and we keep talking.”

His heart is pounding. He can’t just say this to her.

“And then what?” she asks. Mulder swallows.

“And then…I end up touching her under the bubbles,” he says, glazing over the rest of the details and making use of a euphemism.

Scully laughs a little.

“I think you may have skipped some things,” she says gently, and he cringes.

“Sorry. I don’t want to be too graphic.”

“Why?”

“I guess I’m worried I’ll offend you,” he says.

“What if I promise not to be offended?” she offers.

“Is that something you can reasonably promise?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

“Okay,” Mulder says, sucking in a steadying breath. “I’m sitting next to the tub and we’re talking. After a while some of the bubbles start to dissolve and I can kind of see her body. Not details, just sort of the contrast of her skin, and—” he pauses, then forces himself to say the next part. “I can see darker areas, like her nipples and her pubic hair.”

Scully hums, an indication that she’s following along. That she’s listening.

“She’s talking about how much stress she’s been under. I think in the fantasy I kind of know that she’s been having a hard time and I’m worried about her.”

“Interesting,” Scully says, her voice breathy.

“Why is that interesting?” he asks.

“Oh…just…I guess I find it interesting that her emotional state factors into your fantasy,” she observes without judgment. “That was also true in the previous fantasy you shared.”

He doesn’t miss the fact that she’s referring to herself in the third person. And she isn’t wrong.

“So she’s talking about how stressed out she is,” he continues, shifting his hips around as his erection begs to be touched, “and I tell her I can help. I ask if she’ll let me.”

“What do you say, exactly?” she asks.

He reaches down and gives his cock a squeeze. “I say something like, ‘I know what you need,’ and then I look at her body under the bubbles. I’m not very explicit.”

“Why?”

“Because in this fantasy we’ve never done anything like that before, so I wouldn’t just come out and say it directly. That would be too forward for her.”

“So you want it to be realistic?” she asks.

“Sometimes.”

“Okay, so you tell her that you know what she needs. What does she say?” Scully says, getting them back on track.

“She doesn’t really say anything. Her eyes get wide, and she looks down and realizes that she’s slowly being exposed. She’s embarrassed, but she’s also excited.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she’s not telling me to get the fuck out of her bathroom,” he says lightly, and she laughs.

“So what do you do next?”

“I reach out and touch her knee, which is above the water. And then I watch her face as I run my fingers down the inside of her thigh.”

“You don’t kiss her?”

“Not yet.”

“Does she stop you?”

“No. She just looks at me. Her eyes are still all big and her mouth is open. She’s breathing hard. And then she moves her other leg to the side.” He swears he hears the tiniest little moan slip through the phone. “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“What?” she asks, though it’s unclear whether she’s asking what his question is or if she’s just confused by his divergence from the story.

“When we talked before, when I told you about my other fantasy?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Were you, um…did you touch yourself?”

She’s quiet for so long that he gets his dick out and gives it a few strokes before leaving it to rest, stiff and aching, against his belly.

“Yes.”

His dick lurches, standing at attention briefly before it flops to the side. He doesn’t want to come before this is over, lest his post-nut clarity ruin the rest of the experience, so he tries to touch it as little as possible.

“She moves her other leg to the side so I know without a doubt that she wants it. When I touch her, she closes her eyes and moans right away. Even under the water I can feel how wet she is. How slippery. I ask her again to let me help, but this time I say, ‘let me make you come, Scully.’”

She gasps a little, and he realizes that he used her name. He’s never used her name with Electra.

“What does she say?” Scully asks, nearly whining. Her voice is high and tight, and he wants to know so badly if she’s touching herself again now.

“She says, ‘we can’t.’ But she’s pushing her hips into my hand even when she’s saying it so I don’t stop. I know she wants it. I put one finger inside her and she just…she melts.”

“Oh,” Scully breathes out. It’s unclear whether it’s commentary on the story or a vocalization of whatever she’s doing over there.

“I get rid of the stool and I kneel beside the tub so I can kind of lean over into it for leverage. And that’s when I kiss her. Or I try to, but she can barely kiss because of what I’m doing to her with my hand. I add a second finger and she’s throbbing like crazy.”

“Yes,” Scully says in encouragement.

“Are you touching yourself?” he asks quickly, his tone unchanged from his narration.

“Yes,” she says again.

Mulder squeezes his cock in his fist.

“Me too.”

Another, “Oh.”

“I curl my fingers up towards her belly, and then I get my thumb on her clit. She’s holding on to the sides of the tub for leverage and practically fucking my hand, she wants it so bad.”

“Uh huh.”

He can’t hold back anymore. He strokes his cock frantically fast, pumping his hips up off the mattress as though thrusting. He no longer has the capacity to worry about how graphic he’s being.

“Then she comes. She comes so hard she can’t speak, can’t breathe. And her cunt is just…god she’s so tight. And all I can think about is how good it would feel to be inside her when she’s coming.”

Scully gasps, and suddenly the line goes dead. Through the wall, he hears a long, low moan, and then a series of high staccato whimpers. He explodes forcefully into his own hand, sending ropes of cum up as far as his chest and completely defiling his last clean T-shirt. He still has the phone propped against his ear and his cock in hand, slippery and quickly softening, when he hears a click, and then her voice comes back through the open line.

“Mulder?”

He sits up quickly, which makes his head spin.

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking, can we leave at 8:30 tomorrow? I’d like to stop for some decent coffee if we can make time.”

Mulder blinks stupidly, disoriented.

“Uh, yeah, 8:30 is fine. Are you…you’re good?”

“Yeah, I’m great,” she says simply.

“Okay. Goodnight, then.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.”

Mulder sets the phone back on the receiver and looks down at his cum-streaked lap and belly. That absolutely happened, there is no doubt in his mind.

#x files fanfic #the x files #xf fic #xf fanfic

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theewokingdead · 1 year

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The Wiener of My Heart - Benjamin "Benny" Miller x Reader

Pairing: Benny x Reader (1st POV, no descriptions) Rating: T (blog is 18+) Summary: You and Benny are brought together by your mutual love of dogs. Word Count: 1.4k+ Warnings: Some cringe-worthy puns and innuendos, but it’s Benny so are you really surprised? Language. A/N: I saw a decal on a car in a grocery store parking lot that read “Sometimes I trip over my wiener.” I immediately thought “Benny would 100% have that on his car.” This is pure chaos, and I’m not sorry. Hopefully this doesn’t get lost in translation for anyone, but wiener = wiener dog = dachshund.

{Masterlist}

I fucking hate grocery shopping. It’s one of those things I can’t seem to bring myself to do until I absolutely have to. There’s something about wandering through the endless aisles, searching for the things I need, finding the best price of those things, all while avoiding small talk that I find frustrating. It’s just not worth the hassle, the time, or the stress.

Today’s trip has been a nightmare; there are people everywhere, obstructing every turn and moving in all directions, and the shelves are being emptied as if the end of the world has just been announced. I will not be surprised if I immediately hear the national alert system going off when I turn on my car.

God, please, if the world is ending let them be The Walking Dead zombies and not the fucking infected from The Last of Us.

I am on edge until I step out the doors and take a deep breath, the heavy, muggy air of Tampa somehow easier to breathe in than the air inside the stuffy store. I made it out alive, and so far, there aren’t any signs of any impending doom. I mean, no more than usual, considering Florida is a dumpster fire on a normal day.

I push the cart to my car, unlock the trunk, and rapidly load the groceries, eager to get home and pour myself a glass of much-deserved wine. I’m only halfway through when I turn and happen to catch sight of the most striking man walk out of the store, several grocery bags in each hand. He is tall, with broad shoulders and strong arms that seem to effortlessly carry the weight of the groceries. The sleeves of his jacket are rolled up enough to see his forearms flex with each step he takes. Something about him oozes rugged charm, and it’s impossible to not be captivated by him.

Fuck, he’s cute.

The man moves in my direction, and I quickly shift my focus and get back to loading my car. I watch out of the corner of my eye as the man approaches the Jeep parked beside me, shifting his bags to unlock it and and lift up the back window. My heart beats a million miles a minute, but I try to ignore it, figuring he’s too far out of my league.

He’s probably a douche anyway, I tell myself, trying to keep from being disappointed when he doesn’t even acknowledge my existence.

Unexpectedly, I hear a deep, quiet laugh, then a smooth, sultry voice speaks, “I’d rather be playing with my wiener too.”

My stomach twists, making me feel sick. The fuck did he just say?

“Excuse me?” I question, whipping toward the stranger faster than I thought humanly possible. My nose scrunches with disgust. The fucking audacity of this man. He’s not just a douche, but a fucking creep - which is a shame because up close this man is gorgeous. His blue eyes are like two pools of sapphire, glistening in the sunlight. A pair of sunglasses hang on the neck of his shirt, pulling it down just enough to reveal hair on his chest. Strands of blond hair peek out from underneath his hat, which he’s sporting backwards – a telltale sign of being a total douche.

I should’ve known.

However, the man seems to immediately regret what he said, his growing wide, cheeks as red as a traffic light.

“Oh shit! I-I didn’t mean it like that,” he exclaims, tripping over every word. “I meant…” He gestures toward my rear passenger window, which I know has a decal featuring the words “I’d rather be playing with my wiener” along with the silhouette of a dachshund. “I have one too,” he clarifies, pointing to his bumper, a sticker with a similar picture and the words “I trip over my wiener.”

My cheeks warm as realization settles over me. “Oh!” I exclaim, a nervous laugh escaping my lips. “I am so sorry! I thought you were-”

“An asshole?” he finishes for me, to which I breath out a “Yeah” with a small giggle. He chuckles awkwardly, reaching to grab the bill of his hat and pulling it off his head. While running his fingers through his tussled hair, he flips his hat around then puts it back on. “Yeah… Sorry. I didn’t exactly think that one through. Not my finest conversation starter.”

“It’s okay,” I assure him, offering him a genuine smile. “Don’t worry about it, uh-” I suddenly remember that I don’t know his name.

“Benny,” he replies, offering his hand to me.

“Benny,” I reply, repeating his name aloud once while it plays in my head like a beautiful song. I give him my own name, and as I shake his large hand, my mind immediately drifts to how his touch would feel on other parts of my skin. The thought of his hands exploring every inch of my body sends shivers down my spine. As I reluctantly release his hand, I can’t help but long for a moment when his touch could be more than just a fleeting gesture.

“Do you think maybe I could see your wiener?” Though my voice sounds meet, the sly smile spreading across my face shows that I’m well aware of what I’m doing.

“Right here? Right now?” Benny questions, pretending to be appalled by the notion, clearly playing along.

“Right now,” you demand. “Show me see your wiener.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies with a smile.

Fuck, the things those two words make me feel.

After reaching into the pocket of his jeans, he whips out his phone and swipes across the screen with his thumb. Within seconds, he’s showing me a picture of a beautiful black and brown dog, sporting short legs and a long torso.

“This is Beanie.”

My eyes flick up to him. “Beanie the Weenie?”

“Sir Beanie the Weenie of House Teenie, actually,” he clarifies, trying to sound so matter-of-fact.

“Oh,” I gasp, trying to sound impressed. “I had no idea you know the star of Game of Bones.”

Benny lets out a boisterous laugh, sparkles in his eyes, seeming both shocked and thrilled by my parody. “Fuck! Yes! That’s exactly what I was going for!”

Smiling, I look back at his screen, watching as he swipes to another picture, then another.

“You know, I don’t show just anyone my wiener,” Benny admits after several moments of silence. “I hope he doesn’t disappoint.”

I snort. “Not at all. He’s very cute.”

Chuckling, he tucks his phone back into his pocket, then gestures to me. “I showed you mine, so why don’t you show me yours?”

“It’s only fair,” I reply, reaching for my phone. Happily, I show him a photo of my brown long-haired dachshund. “Her name is Leia”

“Like from Star Wars?” he questions, a hint of excitement in his tone.

“Well, actually…” I pull my phone back and quickly find a photo from last Halloween. I show him the picture of my dog in a Leia costume, fake buns and all, which causes Benny to bust out in a fit of laughter.

“Okay. You win! Your wiener is way cooler than mine.”

I shrug nonchalantly. “A princess does outrank a knight, so…”

He chuckles, and a giggle escapes my lips.

“Maybe we can set up a playdate?” I suggest.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Benny replies. “Maybe we can set one up for the dogs too?” He looks up from my screen to meet my gaze, the corner of his lips rising into a small smile. Fuck, his eyes are mesmerizing. They’re the kind that make you feel like you’re the only person in the room, as if he’s seeing into my soul and understanding me without even uttering a word. I could stare into them for hours, lost in their piercing blue beauty.

I smile, feeling my cheeks warm once again. “I’d like that.”

We exchange numbers and part with the promise that we’ll be in touch soon. While walking toward my car door, I feel a sense of anticipation for what the future might hold. Grabbing a hold of the handle, I pause, then look over at Benny as he climbs into his seat. Looking at him makes me feel calm, as if all my worries melt away in his presence. I almost don’t want to let him leave.

“Hey,” I call, grabbing his attention before he can close the door of his Jeep. “Make sure you play with your wiener for me when you get home.” Casting him a wink, I climb into my seat, satisfied by the pink that’s rising in his cheeks as he casts a shy smile.

I’m pretty sure a stranger just stole my heart in a Publix parking lot. But what can I say? Benny has one incredible-looking wiener, and that makes me weak.

#benny miller #benny miller x you #benny miller fanfic #benny miller x reader #benny miller fanfiction #benjamin miller #triple frontier #triple frontier fic #triple frontier fan fiction #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fanfiction #garrett hedlund #garrett hedlund x you #garrett hedlund x reader #garrett hedlund fanfiction #garrett hedlund characters #catie writes

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nicohischierz · 1 year

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i miss you, i’m sorry: luke hughes

It was the first day of summer for Luke. The devils had won the cup and he was elated. After the end of his college season, he hoped he could make a difference in the Devils and help them win.

Of course, he knew coming back to Michigan meant that he had to gather the rest of his belongings and move to Jersey. It also meant that he had to see you. Especially with how close you were to his team and his family.

As Luke looked out of his window he watched as the garden you spent your time in blurred by. Luke recalled the way he knew he could always find you out on the lawn with a book in hand as you got lost in a world of your own.

"Is she coming for the party tonight?" Ellen asked.

No one had to mention a name to know who their mother was talking about. Quinn gave his mother a curt nod in response as Luke let out a large sigh.

The younger Hughes boy leant his head against the window as he recalled simpler times.

Luke tracked your phone as he couldn't find you. Seeing as you usually answer his calls and texts Luke began worrying that something terrible had happened to you.

The two of you had plans for the afternoon and when you were ten minutes late, Luke assumed the worse. He gathered information from his friends on when they last saw you until Mark reminded him that he could use find my friends.

Luke let out a sigh of relief when he found you laying in the yard, your headphones on and a book in your hand. Of course, you would be outside. In your own words, a sunny day where there is a slight breeze is always good reading weather.

"Now what do we have here?" Luke teased as he took your headphones off.

You giggled before realising that the two of you were meant to go out. "Luke I'm so so sorry. I lost track of time and I guess my alarm didn't go off and I'm such a bad person," you rambled.

Your boyfriend shook his head as he chuckled. "Don't worry about it, baby. I was just worried something happened to you. Now about our date, what if I run over to the store and grab some of your favourite snacks and we have a picnic instead?"

And that is exactly what happened. Luke bought all of your favourite snacks and drinks and had you read your book to him as he admired your beauty.

When the Hughes family walked into their house, the two younger siblings were embraced in hugs and were given many forms of congratulations for their achievement.

Luke tried his hardest to keep his tears at bay as he was embraced by his Michigan teammates. The group had been there for every game of the final round cheering Luke on.

Yet, despite all the attention on him and Jack. Luke was still able to see you out of the corner of his eye. Your hair was shorter than when he left and your once radiant smile was diminished to a slight tug of your lips.

He wanted nothing more than to go up to you know and to tell you how he hated the way things ended. He hated the fact that he was taken from Tampa without so much as allowing himself to see you again.

Throughout the night, Luke tried to so much as say hello to you but he couldn't. Every time he thought he was getting close to you someone would swoop in and direct his attention somewhere.

So Luke did the only thing he could. He watched you.

He watched as Jack brought you in for a big hug. And how one of his previous teammates was always at your side, making you laugh.

But the one action that irked him the most was the way Quinn would find you wherever you were. The oldest Hughes brother would be by your side anytime you showed a sign of discomfort.

Quinn would always leave kisses on your head or rub your shoulders,

Luke hated it.

He hated the fact that you had replaced him. Especially as the replacement was his older brother. The man he looked up to.

After dinner, you had disappeared from Luke''s sight. He assumed you had gone back home but when he couldn't find his older brother either he went on a hunt.

"I don't think you understand Quinn. I am so proud of him but it hurts me that I can't be there for him in the way I want to be," you sobbed.

You were in Quinn's room as you couldn't hold onto your facade anymore. You had promised Ellen and Quinn that you would come tonight to support your best friend.

"He hurt me, Quinn," you whispered.

Luke's heart broke as he heard the tremble in your voice. At that moment he wanted you to know how much he missed you. He needed you to know how stupid he felt for breaking up with you.

How he would lay awake at night wishing you were by his side. How he wanted nothing more than for you to be in the stands with his family and how after they won the cup his first thoughts were about you.

Quinn knew his younger brother was outside his room. As the door was slightly open he saw Luke walk by and stop to hear what you were saying.

"Would you tell him?" Quinn asked.

You tilted your head in confusion as you looked up at the boy. "If Luke came in here right now, would you tell him how you feel because I know he regrets everything y/n/n?"

"When I stayed the night with him and Jack, I heard him crying. I heard him curse himself for breaking up with you. When they lost, he asked Mom if you were there because he hoped he could get one more chance to say goodbye. I know you're hurting y/n/n and I know you've built yourself up from what happened but don't throw away an opportunity where the two of you are happy. Especially if you are together," Quinn concluded.

The older boy gave you one last hug before he walked out of his room. Quinn looked over at his brother and gave him a small smile before walking away.

Luke waited until Quinn had walked downstairs before he knocked on the door. You called out that it was open so Luke slipped into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Hi," he breathed out.

You looked up at him and tears brimmed your eyes. Luke noticed immediately and made his way to you and wrapped his arms around you.

The comfort you found in his arms made you crumble as sobs left your mouth.

"It's okay, baby. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you again," Luke whispered.

"You left me," you muttered.

"You left me, Luke. You promised when it came to you leaving for Jersey that we would talk about it but you left. You said you needed a break and you walked out on us. You broke my heart," You told the boy.

Luke nodded and avoided eye contact. He too had tears welling in his eyes as he tried to think of a way to approach this conversation.

"I miss you," he whispered.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart y/n. I broke up with you because I thought I was protecting you. I thought that if we put an end to the relationship then maybe I wouldn't miss you so much when I'm in Jersey but I was wrong. God, I was so wrong because all I can think about is you,"

You didn't say anything, you just looked at Luke.

"I-I miss you, I'm sorry," Luke was about to leave the room but you grabbed his wrist.

You turned him to face you and cupped his face in your hands. Your thumb ran over his cheeks and wiped at the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you with adoration.

Luke wrapped his arms around your waist and brought you into his chest before leaning down, placing his lips on yours brining you into a gentle kiss.

#luke hughes imagine #umich hockey imagines #nicohischierz writes

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dameronology · 1 year

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timing's a bitch [5/5] - s.h

summer '87

“oh my love, i lied to you, but i never needed to" - liar, paramore (x)

“if you have chemistry, you only need one other thing…timing. but timing is a bitch” - how i met your mother

a.k.a the three times that steve harrington chose the wrong moment, the one time that you chose the wrong moment, and the one time you both got it right (series masterlist)

a/n: i am sooooo sorry for how long this took. i have a long list of excuses but i shall not bore you. we have, however, finally made it to the end and i owe you all the biggest fucking thank you in the world for all your support on this series. i love u all and i hope this is the ending u wanted <3

Twelve months was the longest period of time you’d gone without seeing Steve Harrington.

You’d seen him basically every day for your entire goddamn life and then he’d just…disappeared. Left the arcade in a cloud of shame and then you hadn’t seen him since. He was fine; you knew that much. A quick call to his parents had let you know that he was with them in Florida. Fuck knows why, because as far as you’d known he had hated his parents almost as much as he hated Florida. But, as it had turned out, knowing didn’t account for much. You thought you knew Harrington’s every move, but everything in the last year had completely blindsided you. Even if it was just an anomaly, it was enough to make you question everything. It had hurt more than you cared to admit – the sudden revelation, the disappearance, the lack of contact – but the realisation that he’d admitted to loving you had carried you for just a little while.

Only a little while. Three months at the most. After that, you lost hope and moved on.

Did it feel like part of you was missing? Completely. Was there anything you could do about it? Absolutely not.

Steve’s name became something of a curse word amongst your friendship circle. Friendship triangle, actually. The combination of Eddie and Robin had been the only thing carrying you through. Hawkins had changed as you knew it, because as it turns out, you and Steve had shared a pair of rose-coloured lenses. The town sucked without them and man you hoped Florida was even worse for him. Maybe one of the crocodiles or swamps would swallow him up. At least that way you could get closure.

It was hard not to think about him; to think about whether or not he’d started dating again, about how much he was probably suffocating under the same roof as his parents. The part of you that had been hurt by him wanted so badly for him to be aching too – for you, for the familiar, for the realisation that Tampa Bay might have been great, but no place was truly great without you – but the rest of you just pined. For him, for his dumb sarcasm and ridiculous ability to be so smart about everything, for his shitty driving and that stupid cologne and the cursed BMW that you were afraid to shine a UV light in for fear of a live Jackson Pollock experience.

You missed him.

Eddie and Robin were good company. Every time you were sad, you would find yourself with them at the Hideout, laughing about something stupid and then revelling in the realisation that you were going to be fine. Everything was going to be fine. You had your friends.

“So…I like her, but I don’t like like her, you know?” Eddie’s aimless ramblings filled your ears one cold Wednesday night. Class had been long, but not as long as this conversation. Was he even going the right way home? You’d no clue.

“So, break up with her then, Eds,” you replied, unable to resist an eyeroll. “It’s obvious.”

“But she’s so hot!”

“And?!” you shot back. “You can’t just hold out for someone because they’re hot.”

“Right. If you did, you’d be in a Florida swamp by now.”

You shot Eddie a glare. “Watch it.”

“I regretted it as soon as I said it,” he grimaced. “Sorry. I really am.”

Eddie reached across and squeezed your arm, giving you a smile. He was far too easy to forgive.

As it turned out, he had been going the right way, because your apartment building had finally made an appearance in the distance. One of the better developments in your life in the past year had been that you, Robin and Eddie found a place together. It was a complete shithole, and you were pretty sure your neighbour was a pervert, but it was yours. More yours than your place in New York had been.

Hopping out the van, you shut the door behind you and fumbled around for your keys. Eddie wasn’t far behind, just taking a moment to assess the damage the pavement had done to his wheel when he’d collided it with at the morning. Something about the government shouldn’t have put a pavement there and I don’t pay taxes for this shithole to destroy my van.

Unlocking the door, you stepped inside and was immediately greeted by Robin. She was in attack mode, elbowing her way past you and towards Eddie.

“Munson!” she yelled. “How many times have I told you not to smoke week inside? I’m trying to study for my finals but all I can smell is your skanky goddamn stoner broccoli- “

“- woah, woah, woah!” Eddie held his hands up in defence. “Before you rip my head off, don’t you want to have that conversation with our beloved roommate first?”

You glanced at them, thinning your eyes. “The hell are you talking about?”

“Uh…” Robin trailed off. “We should go inside for this.”

“Or you could just tell me here?” you suggested.

Despite your advice, your friends both took an arm each and lead you inside to the sofa, where they laid you down. Robin did have a point about the smell in here.

“You should sit down for this,” Eddie began.

You propped yourself up on your elbows. “I’m lying down?”

“Oh…” he trailed off. “Then you might want to sit up for this.”

Rolling your eyes, you sat up and swung your legs round so they were on the floor. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

Robin gulped. “Steve called.”

“Here?” your eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah. Six times, actually,” she continued.

“What?!” you exclaimed. “When?”

Eddie and Robin glanced at each other.

“Guys,” you pushed. “When?”

“Three months ago. And also, nine months ago, and also ten months ago, and he also tried calling my house the week he left and…” Eddie trailed off. “Why do you look so angry?”

“Why the fuck are you only telling me this now?!”

“We thought it was best you didn’t know!” Robin chimed in. “He just made you so miserable and-

“- that’s not your decision to make!” you snapped.

“No, you’re right…. we know that. Now. We know that now,” Eddie said. “We just thought it was worth telling you because rumour has it, he’s back in town.”

“Rumour has it from who?”

“My eyes,” Robin admitted. “I saw him yesterday at the coffee shop down the road. I think he was looking for you.”

It wasn’t in your nature to dramatically storm off. It was even less in your nature to steal Eddie Munson’s keys and aimlessly speed off into the night, but you probably earnt the right to do after learning that your best friends had been lying to you. Betrayal from Steve had sucked, but even more so from them. What sucked even more was the realisation that he hadn’t been ignoring you for a year. That was a lot to deal with.

You found yourself driving to Lover’s Lake. It had been an unconscious decision – less conscious that the one to fuck up Eddie’s tyres even more on the way over – but it was weirdly peaceful once you got there. Freaky alien portals aside, it was a pretty relaxing place when it was empty at night. The water was completely dark, lit up only by the moon and stars, where you could be alone with your thoughts and-

“I have a gun!”

The words from your mouth had been quick – and a lie – when you heard someone step on a twig behind you. It wasn’t the worse lie in the world. You could have had a gun in your pockets. Maybe. How big were guns anyway? You didn’t know.

“If you come a step closer I will fucking END you-“

“- you don’t carry a gun.”

There was only one person in the world who could be truly certain of that decision. Steve fucking Harrington.

A beat passed and before he could say anything else, you’d thrown yourself at him. You both fell to the ground – Steve breaking your fall with his body and letting out an ow – and for a split second, you weren’t sure you were decking him or fighting him. The decision came to you naturally, it turned out, because when he tried to sit up, you tackled him back into the ground with a hug. Steve sat there aimlessly for a second, but quickly wrapped his gangly arms back around you.

“Fuck,” you murmured. “What the fuck, Steve?!”

“Couldn’t I be asking you the same thing?!” he demanded. “You’ve been ignoring my calls for a year!”

You took a step back from the hug, glowering for a moment. “I haven’t. I promise.”

“Well you haven’t been answering them-“

“- it was Eddie and Robin!” you cut him off. “We moved in together…it’s too fucking long to explain, but they are meddlers. They are meddling meddlers. I’ve spent the last year waiting for you to call Steve and for fuck’s sake, man! It’s me. If you are genuinely stupid enough to think that I would willingly ignore your calls then you don’t know me at all!”

Steve was silent for a second. That was a lot of information to process. It was good information – encouraging, indeed - but it also meant he had to change his entire worldview that he’d spent the last year adjusting to. Not unlike you had in the last hour.

“Besides…” you carried on. Yeah, it was all coming out now. “You’re the one who accidentally confessed your love for me. You’re the one who ran away! So even if I had been ignoring your calls, who’s to say it wasn’t justified?”

“No, yeah…you’re right,” Steve murmured. “I’m sorry. I really am. I know that doesn’t cut it at all. It doesn’t even begin to make it right but if you would just give me the chance, I promise I will make it up to you.”

“A chance?” you raised your eyebrows. “What kind of chance?”

“The same kind of chance I asked for the night you left for college almost two years ago,” he said. “The chance that’s been fucked over and over because of bad timing-”

“- have you ever considered that maybe you were the one who was about twelve hours behind everyone else?”

“Have you ever considered that maybe you were twelve hours ahead?”

You smiled. “Get to the point, Steve.”

“I love you,” Steve declared. He flung his arms out at as he did, almost as though he were announcing it to the dark clouds above you. “I’m sorry for running away, but in doing it, I realised there’s only one place I want to run and that’s to wherever you are. Even if it’s almost midnight, by a lake, on a freezing cold night.”

“How did you even know I was here?” you asked.

“You have three places you go when you’re not home and that’s here, my house or the record shop and – look, I don’t want to rush you, but it would be really wonderful if we could circle back to where you stand vis-à-vis that love declaration-”

“- fucking obviously I love you too,” you cut him off.

Steve smiled. There was no doubt in his mind that you were still seething but finally, after two years of swings-and-roundabouts, you’d finally said the same thing at the same time. It had been a two year long head-ache – one you still felt dizzy from – but hey. You’d finally caught each other at the same moment. And god forbid you’d ever let him go.

“But this has to be it now, Steve,” you poked him in the chest. “No one-night stands, no other people, no bullshit. I can’t take bullshit.”

“This is it,” he said affirmatively. “I promise. I’m not ever letting you out of my sight again.”

“You promise?”

Steve grabbed your hand, pulling your pinky out of your balled up fist and wrapping it around his. “You have my word.”

Finally, he kissed you.

You’d kissed multiple times before; that fateful night two years ago, the even more fateful one in New York, and the time it almost happened in the lake just two miles from where you were stood. All of those things had taken you a step closer to this but the moment in itself felt like a weight off your shoulders. Almost like it was something that had been written in the stars since the first day you’d thrown a Lego brick at him, and both of you had been holding your breath waiting for you to happen ever since.

“I’m gonna kill Robin and Eddie, by the way,” you quietly said.

“Don’t,” Steve murmured against you. “I only just got you back. I can’t have you going to prison.”

"Yeah, fair point," you laughed. "Besides, if I can forgive you, I can forgive them."

"Hey!"

"Sorry..." you trailed off. "I love you."

Steve smiled. "I love you too."

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things fluff #stranger things angst #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson

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baiyunli · 10 months

Text

how to watch baseball now: a primer

This is a long, hopefully-comprehensive guide on how to watch baseball for hockey fans feeling adrift during the offseason — I have constructed this from the perspective of not only how to understand what you’re watching, but how to make it interesting to yourself.

If the numbers aren't interesting to you, forget about the numbers! They don’t have to exist in your version of baseball. Make up your own rules and use them to watch the game. Watch games only for the one kind-of okay player you like. Pick your favourite team because of a video you saw of one of them bouncing a baseball off his ass (Sean Murphy, then of Oakland A's and now of Atlanta Braves). Baseball Olds will try to pretend like the game is this big thing that only people who already watch it can appreciate, but you just have to find what you love most about it.

I’m using the NHL as my best point of reference: in terms of growing the game, I’d say MLB suffers from a very different problem than NHL (other than like, the current uproar around letting queer people exist, which is a throughline in both), in that while the NHL has a very exciting product but can’t reach people where they’re at, baseball is by and large perceived as a boring, slow game and the league will bend over backwards to make polarizing changes to the Boringest and Slowest parts rather than capitalizing on what excites fans about the game. However, both leagues are plagued by Shitty Commissioner disease. Such is the way of life.

Feel free to read all of this, or none of it, but I’ve tried to split it up in a way that makes sense and is easy to navigate. Last note: many people will tell you baseball is the only major sport going on in North America at this time of year. This is false. The WNBA and NWSL are both in full swing—not to mention the World Cup next month. Supplement your baseball watching with a wide variety of sports where you can!

How to Love Baseball

Pick a Team, Any Team

The first step in becoming a baseball fan is obviously picking a team! I could probably give you NHL comparatives and let you figure it out from there, but I don’t personally think your favourite NHL teams have much bearing on your favourite MLB ones, so I’ll give you a quick and dirty rundown of my teams instead and how you might want to pick a team.

The easiest team for me to love is the Seattle Mariners because I live just across the border, and they aren’t good enough to be annoying but also not bad enough to be embarrassed about. They’re just kind of there, which I enjoy greatly. I also love the Philadelphia Phillies because they’re my friend’s favourite team. They went on a Cinderella run to the World Series last year (before losing to the Astros in the final) and are now solidly middling. My other favourites are the Washington Nationals because of their fantastic social media presence and their hilarious stadium traditions. The current-day Nats are very much the epitome of "how can we lose when we're so sincere?"

Some teams you might want to look into are the LA Angels (actually of Anaheim) for Shohei Ohtani, the Milwaukee Brewers for — at least from what I understand — their boyband energy similar to the New Jersey Devils, the Baltimore Orioles or Tampa Bay Rays for an exciting and winningest team, and the Oakland A's for a miserable fan experience including horribly dysfunctional team management and a coming relocation to Las Vegas.

The easiest team for me to hate is the Toronto Blue Jays, which is a result of their god complex re: being the only Canadian team. A funny thing from this season is that the Rays opened their season with a historic 13-game win streak, only to be killed 6-3 by the Blue Jays to end it. Something about Toronto teams and ending another team’s 13-game heater, or whatever.

Also look into any local teams if you can. In Vancouver, our local minor league team is the Vancouver Canadians, and setting up a little picnic on the grass with friends while watching a Canadians game is a summer staple. Here’s a very cute article about them. There are a variety of lower-level and exhibition teams across the world, especially in countries where baseball is incredibly popular. One exhibition team is the Internet-famous Savannah Bananas who are dearly loved on TikTok. If there isn’t a huge baseball foothold in your area, it’s worth looking into which MLB teams are most popular where you live and/or have the most coverage. Some analytics sites like FiveThirtyEight will occasionally create maps showing each team’s popularity in different states, countries, etc. and that can be a great guide.

Petty Rivalries 101

You can always just Google these, but I decided to just list off a few major ones for your perusal: the Yankees and Red Sox, the Rangers and Astros, the Dodgers and Giants, and the Orioles and Nationals. As Toronto Maple Leafs scholar Acting the Fulemin once put it, the point of sports is to be sad in a group, and the counterpart to this is that it absolutely rules getting to see a team you hate lose.

A quick note on the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry is that it's brought us one of my favourite ever quotes from ex-Mariner and current Yankee Nestor Cortes:

Once you’ve chosen a favourite team, they’re bound to have some kind of geographic or historic rivalry, and you can search those up to find out the background behind them. Also, I highly suggest deciding on a random team you hate for no reason. It makes the season experience much more interesting and gives you the chance to pray on their downfall whenever possible.

Where to Watch

As with most things about baseball, this will vary by your team. Depending on your cable package, you might be able to watch your favourite team already! That’s great news. Even if you can’t, feel free to turn on the TV, find a random baseball game, and imprint on either of those teams like a baby bird. The MLB website offers games broadcast with an MLB.tv subscription, but if you have an account you can also watch the Free Game of the Day and collected highlights from previous games! This is a great way to expand your team repertoire and figure out which team broadcasts you hate with a burning passion. Local radio stations do commentary on games if you like listening to that.

If you just want to get your feet wet rather than diving in straight away, pretty much every major game of the postseason will be uploaded by some “FirstName BunchOfNumbers” user on YouTube: for example, you can watch Game 1 of the World Series last year by just searching 2022 World Series Game 1 Full Game. However, watching the full game might be a slog if you don’t know what’s going on, and you can learn the intricacies of the sport without having to watch all four hours and twelve minutes of like, the 1962 World Series Game 7 (although that is a very exciting game). In that case, skip to the ‘How the Game is Governed’ section and read on.

All of this pertains to MLB teams, but there’s plenty to watch elsewhere. If you have a local baseball team, you might be able to catch a game or two in-person! Minor League Baseball also has their own broadcasting services and highlights are available on YouTube or their website.

League Structure

The MLB season is 162 games long. Spring training, aka the preseason, begins in February. During the regular season, teams play a three or four-game series with the same team before playing another with a different team. For example, this month the Philadelphia Phillies played 3 games in a row against the Washington Nationals on consecutive days. The day after the conclusion of their last game against Washington, they started a series against the Tigers, which was three games with one rescheduled due to weather, and then another three games against the Dodgers. This leads to a schedule that looks like this:

Occasionally, due to weather issues or other postponement reasons, a game will be rescheduled for the same day as another game against the same team — so they’ll play two full games in one day. This is called a double-header. They used to be routinely scheduled in MLB, but now they’re only played as a result of scheduling problems.

Team-wise, it’s a little more complicated than the NHL. Like the Eastern and Western conferences, MLB is separated into two ‘leagues’: the American League (AL) and the National League (NL). Both leagues have fifteen teams, and until the 1990s teams in different leagues didn’t play each other during the regular season at all, leading to different styles of play, tactics, and rules implemented between them. This is no longer the case! However, it’s important to recognize that unlike the NHL, NBA, NWSL, etc., Major League Baseball comprises two leagues, rather than two conferences of the same league. This matters because individual awards like the Cy Young or Gold Glove are given to the best players at their position in both the AL and NL, and the MLB MVP includes both an AL MVP and NL MVP.

MLB is made up of six divisions, with three in each league: AL East, AL Central, AL West, NL East, NL Central, and NL West. A division has five teams. If you know much about US geography, you might notice that the teams in each division don’t actually correspond very well to their geographic location: this is for a variety of reasons, not least of which is expansion teams requiring change in division partitioning, but nobody’s going to fix it at this point. And that’s okay!

Fandom and Things As Such

Baseball fandom, regrettably, is not much of a Tumblr phenomenon these days, but Baseball Twitter does have some incredible gems. The Baseball RPF tag on AO3 is also fairly fleshed out (albeit not to the extent of HRPF) and you’ll find that many authors who write HRPF have dabbled in baseball as well. If you’re lost on where to start choosing a team, going through the AO3 grab bag and choosing a random player who you really like in a fic is also a very respectable avenue.

I cannot stress this enough: the easiest way to learn the game without having to learn the characters is reading baseball AUs. That’s it. They’re ten times more approachable than trying to memorize everyone on your favourite team’s roster, and they abound in HRPF if you’re looking for a landing port. I have witness testimony from Lil (@wymgreenteam) that she learned what pitching signs and shortstops were from the wonderful Jack/Nico baseball AU. It works! Obviously fanfiction won’t teach you everything, but if you’re feeling overwhelmed they can be a fantastic first step and really illustrate the game from a fan perspective.

Other Media

I will caution against taking the ‘consume baseball-related media’ advice too seriously, because I find that unlike baseball AUs, other media involving baseball does not always come from someone who watches and loves the game. Think of it like hockey romance books—just like the main characters of those novels are probably not scoring hat tricks in 5 consecutive games, they probably aren’t reaching such baseball heights either.

With that said, I have not watched Daiya No Ace but I’ve heard that people do enjoy it! For genuine baseball culture-oriented media, Roger Angell wrote fantastic articles and books on the game. I love his book ‘Five Seasons: A Baseball Companion.’ Then there are movies like Moneyball and shows like A League of Our Own which tackle specific aspects of the game and how it’s played. Depending on your eventual favourite team(s), hometown coverage will also play a huge part: for the Phillies, that’s outlets like the Philadelphia Inquirer or Penn Live.

Narratives

Once upon a time there was a young man named Shohei Ohtani who was breaking records set in the 1920s while playing on a horrible, failing team that refused to build around him. I assume you have some familiarity with Ohtani, but he is very difficult to describe because he is literally making history. He is the only two-way player in MLB right now: a two-way player is someone who is both a pitcher and a batter; there are a ton of rules about what constitutes a two-way player, but currently Ohtani is the only true two-way player at the Major level. This is not a perfect analogy, but he’s sort of like if Jason Robertson went out there and had a 50-goal season, then immediately jumped into net and played like Juuse Saros. He’s the best all-around player in MLB, and even though he isn’t the best pitcher or the best batter, the fact that he’s incredible at both of them makes him stand out. He also plays with Mike Trout, who’s breaking records of his own, while trying to drag the LA Angels to any sort of notoriety. Here is a prescient article about the Ohtani-Trout era in Anaheim.

Each team has their own current narratives and pairings, but Ohtani and Trout are the biggest one right now. People compare them to McDavid and Draisaitl, but it’s more like if the Oilers had McDavid and Draisaitl but were also one of the worst teams in the league right now. However, Trout is currently in the worst slump of his career while the Angels have won the last 11 of 14 games, so really all this means is that baseball is fake.

Baseball is rife with redemption and villain arcs—you just have to dig a little to find them. I have presented the Ohtani and Trout trainwreck because it’s the closest comparable to the Oilers tragedy, but there are plenty others that really depend on team and current events.

Bush Leagues

MLB teams have a very different relationship to their minor-league affiliates than NHL teams do. There are about five hundred various regional minor leagues, but the MiLB levels are Rookie, Single A, High A, Double A, and Triple A, each of which has two or three individual leagues similar to the AL-NL system in MLB.

The fun thing about MiLB is that it’s a lot closer to home than MLB! Most places don’t have an MLB team, but there’s a good chance anywhere in the USA has a nearby MiLB or regional/collegiate league team. They also have way more interesting names, like the Portland Pickles, Rocket City Trash Pandas, and Sugar Land Space Cowboys. The prospect pipeline in MLB runs a whole lot slower than it does for the NHL, and generally through those Double or Triple-A affiliates, so it’s definitely worth paying attention to minor-league teams and their standout players to see who might be the next rookie on your favourite team.

MiLB player compensation has been an issue for a long time, and the players recently unionized! A few great write-ups on it: 1, 2, and 3.

Regional Popularity

I’ve said this plenty, but I truly do think that finding your baseball niche hinges upon imprinting on a hometown team or a player you just really like. This sport isn’t just an American pastime: it’s hugely popular in Central America and parts of East Asia, and some of the best and brightest up-and-coming (and current) players hail from countries that haven’t traditionally been viewed as bastions of baseball. The game is growing every day, and it’s wonderful to see.

Baseball is very popular in the Dominican Republic, Cuba, Puerto Rico, Japan, and Korea. Out of those, I’d probably say the Dominican Republic has the largest MLB presence, with only American players outnumbering Dominican ones in the league, but the sport is also fast-growing in Japan, Korea, and Australia. Japan won the 2023 World Baseball Classic, which is the baseball equivalent of the World Cup of Hockey, where the best players in the world compete against each other and Shohei Ohtani (captain of the Japanese team) pitched to Mike Trout (captain of the American team) in possibly the most electric moment of baseball in the 21st century.

How to Understand Baseball

How the Game is Governed

Rather than doing a big writeup on this, I figured I would just find some articles and videos that go through the rules well and hold your hand through it! Think of these like helpful assets, similar to the first time you search up ‘what is goaltender interference’ or 'what is offsides' after hearing it mentioned on the play-by-play and a goal got turned over and all the fans were mad and you wanted to be in on the reason why. This is that search.

Baseball Explained in 5 Minutes

How to identify baseball pitches

Everything there is to know about the The Strike Zone in Baseball.

Intro to Baseball: Positions

What’s going on with the DH in MLB? (MLB Originals)

Rules Glossary | MLB - PDF Version

Lastly, once you’ve got a good grasp on the rules and positions, I probably wouldn’t go straight to watching a full game—you want to make sure you’re using your three hours well rather than staring at a game you don’t really get or don’t care about, or both. Instead, watch YouTube highlights of various players and best (or worst) plays of the week! This gives you an idea of what creates excitement in a game and why, and different positional strengths. From there, you can start watching longer clips, like full innings or the highlights uploaded after each game, which give you a better idea of the game’s pace.

Pressing Play

While I was writing this I remembered that a fun and unique baseball tradition is players having walk-up songs when they’re up in the batting lineup.

Most teams will post their players' walk-up songs on Spotify, YouTube, etc. and while there are a few songs that are synonymous with legendary players - like Mariano Rivera's "Enter Sandman" - players usually like to switch up their songs. Often, a song will become emblematic of an era in that team's history (Anthony Rizzo's "Intoxicated" and the Cubs' 2016 playoff run). After a while, you'll notice patterns in what players pick.

Learning about each player’s song rotation can be extremely revealing, like Mark Canha switching his walk-up songs to Born This Way, Vogue, and I Wanna Dance with Somebody in honour of the Mets Pride Night last week!

Diamond Sports Bankruptcy

I’m not going to pretend to know anything about broadcasting or RSNs, but Diamond Sports, the group that runs Bally Sports, recently filed for bankruptcy, which has really affected some franchises’ profit margins and where their games can be streamed. Not sure if this interests you, but you can read about it here!

The Oakland A’s Relocation

Again: I’m not an Oakland fan, but there’s a lot of debate right now about the owners of the Oakland Athletics moving the team to Vegas despite the wishes of the town and city. Rob Manfred, the MLB commissioner, also made rude comments about Oakland fans as a result of their Reverse Boycott Night, where almost 28,000 fans came out to support the team. A professional sports league commissioner acting like an asshole to fans of a small-market team is nothing new, but it’s the culmination of a lot of drama between terrible owners and a market that loves their team.

The Long, Storied History of Cheating

The long, storied history of cheating in MLB encompasses not only stealing signs and tipping pitches, but also foreign substance usage on hands (which pitchers sometimes try in order to change how they pitch the ball), illegal equipment, and more. It’s kind of a lot. The most notable, recent case is the 2017 Houston Astros World Series Win.

Houston’s Fucking Astros

Nobody likes the Astros except Astros fans. They won the World Series last year and are universally hated, not least of all because of the 2017 cheating controversy.

In baseball, ‘signs’ are what catchers use to communicate to pitchers what kind of pitch they should throw. These rely on knowledge of the hitter currently on the plate and catching them by surprise. Each pitcher-catcher battery will usually have their own signs. In 2017, a year in which Houston won the World Series, the team set up a video camera in the center field seats with a full frontal view of the catcher, and they would use that to figure out what pitches the pitcher would throw. Then from the dugout, whoever was watching the video feed at the time would use a signal (audio cues, like banging garbage can lids) to tell the hitter who was up what pitch they had to expect. This was mostly possible because of the time delay between a catcher signalling and a pitcher throwing, which has been changed by this season’s pitch clock implementation.

In 2020, The Athletic published the first exposé article about the Astros cheating scandal, and it rocked the baseball world. Several immediate consequences followed: the Astros GM and field manager (head coach) were suspended for the full 2020 season, and although players received no punishment, the team gave up four draft picks (their 1st and 2nd round picks in 2020 and 2021).

Pitching and Sticky Stuff

Pitchers applying foreign substances on their hands is always a controversy in MLB games. Recently, star pitcher Max Scherzer was ejected and suspended 10 games after an umpire decided his hand was unusually sticky. TLDR: cheating is common, and consequences vary. Nobody has gotten over the Astros cheating scandal.

Expected By Whom

A quick rundown on the analytics side of the game and how baseball stats look very different both in their progress and insights than hockey. This is how you can sound like you know ball.

The Moneyball book does a great job explaining the rise of sabermetrics (baseball analytics) in the early 2000s, starting with Billy Beane and the Oakland A’s. Because MLB doesn’t have a salary cap and their luxury tax isn’t difficult for big-market teams to pay, small-market teams like Oakland have to constantly innovate in their game tactics in order to stay competitive, and that’s why the game today is so numbers-oriented. Watching a baseball game, you’ll see far more stats than you would in an NHL broadcast: OBP (On-Base Percentage), ERA (Earned Run Average), pitching speed, slugging percentage, pythagorean win percentage, and more. Do not fear the big numbers. You don’t have to know what every stat means in order to love the game, but if you watch enough and you hear commentators discussing what, say, Kodai Senga's ERA is, you’ll come to learn what they mean! In a pinch, you can also easily just search up ‘league average [stat]’ to figure out what the standard is.

Some websites that are really instrumental in baseball analytics are Baseball-Reference, FiveThirtyEight, and FanGraphs, plus YouTube channels like Foolish Baseball and statisticians like Bill James and Tom Tango. Baseball is a lot further along in its analytics revolution than hockey, and as a result, such analysis is not just a thing for Stats Nerds but also a huge part of the way the game is played and watched today. Personally, I love stats that assess umpire accuracy in calling strikes, and so Umpire Scorecards on Twitter is one of my favourites.

It's Too Long and Too Much Money

If Connor McDavid played in Major League Baseball and was close to the kind of player he is in the NHL right now, he would be getting paid north of 400 million dollars, not to mention endorsement money. Instead, he sold his soul to a sport where reporters ask about his biological clock and his only consolation for living in Edmonton is his heated driveway.

Because MLB payrolls are so much larger than the NHL’s and they have a luxury tax rather than a salary cap, contracts are worth much more. The sport itself is less volatile as well: both a product of the longer season (larger sample size) and the luck factor inherent in chance-based games like hockey that isn’t present as much in baseball, a player's year-to-year performance is easier to predict and therefore teams feel more comfortable betting on their production. In contrast to the NHL’s 8-year limit & penalty for long contracts (like the Kovalchuk deal), and bridge deals made when a player hasn't demonstrated that their performance is sustainable, MLB GMs often give their stars contracts over 10 years, and for hundreds of millions of dollars total. Mike Trout is on a 12-year contract for almost $430 million, and by several estimates, his endorsements and the money he receives for being named All-Star, AL MVP, etc. brings that up significantly.

MLB front office terminology is very similar to the NHL, but their contracts differ in another important way: baseball players can opt out of a contract and enter free agency. For example, last season Carlos Correa agreed to a 12-year, $310m deal with the New York Mets, but the Mets were worried about the results from his physical and his injury history, so they pulled out of the deal before the season began and instead, Correa signed with the Minnesota Twins on a six-year, $200m contract.

The Used Boy Auction

Drafting in MLB works very differently than the NHL. The amateur draft (the Main one, which is also called the Rule 4 Draft) takes place mid-season and lasts 20 rounds (used to be 40), plus picks that teams are given as compensation for other events. Teams can draft players either out of high school or college baseball—while the majority of players in the early days were picked right out of high school, nowadays the largest percentage are collegiate players. High school players are only eligible after graduation, and they don’t have junior leagues like the OHL or USHL. Players at universities can only be drafted after their 3rd season there in order to avoid going to a university only for drafting purposes.

Teams retain the rights to sign the players they draft until July 15 of the following year, and a player who does not sign with their team is eligible to be signed once again as long as they meet the age and educational requirements (attending an academic institution, three years of college, etc.) Unless the player has consented to be re-selected by their old team, they cannot be chosen again in another draft year. This leads to players like Brandon Belt having been drafted three times, by the Red Sox, Braves, and Giants, and ultimately playing for the Giants after his college career.

The Rule 5 Draft is another major part of the MLB drafting system. It's sort of similar to what happens in the NHL with an expansion draft, but it takes place in the winter every year. As the MLB prospect pipeline moves slower and it's easy for teams to Stockpile high-quality prospects and bury them in the minors due to the team's current success, this draft aims to ensure that young players have a chance to play in the bigs on a team that needs more manpower. Not every team has to select a player in the Rule 5 draft; last season, 15 players were taken, including the Nats selecting Thad Ward and the Phillies selecting Noah Song.

Here's the official MLB description of the drafting process:

Podcasters or Whatever

My most toxic trait is that I unfortunately love listening to sports podcasts, so here are some good baseball ones:

The Athletic Baseball Show

Ballpark Dimensions

Effectively Wild

The Strike Zone

I hope this serves as a useful first step! Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or want to yell about baseball - I wrote this for two people, so if either of those two people find it helpful, the three hours I spent on it will have been worth it.

#baseball #waiting for spring #yun talks #mlb #baseball primer #i guess???#pinned for the offseason

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sergeifyodorov · 10 months

Note

willy mitch and auston for the character ask thing? <3

FIRST IMPRESSION

now bcause of Leafs Cultural Osmosis i had heard of them for a long time before i starting becoming a real leafsguy. Uhh generally i heard the most about auston matthews because he’s big and cool and sexy and hit em with the 4 and all of that. I think my most definitive pre-leafsfan leafs memory of them (him in particular) was once newsscrolling in like the early 21-22 season when he came back, struggled a bit, and then shaved his mustache for movember and started immediately scoring a g/pg

IMPRESSION NOW

Willy: a beautiful blonde Barbie doll of a man. going to gloss over how sexy i find him because it is, genuinely, embarrassing, and instead talk about the fact that he’s a) kind of stupid, but in an exceedingly charming way, b) has named his dogs after famous artists (pablo and banksy are their names), c) is one of the de facto leaders of the nhl’s swedish contingent. he also has this amazing power where he’s like… vibe immune. Like in one of Those Leafs Moments where all hope is lost and you know it is not going to end well, he’s going to score. Or, conversely, when the Leafs have cut the other team open and they’re bleeding all over the place, Willy isn’t going to do much. this means he is both “the only one who scores in the playoffs” and also “never there when they’re winning” which means ppl suspect he’s being carried or something. he’s not. also i suspect he might be a little bit gay but that’s not really my business

Mitch: babygirl of the year 8 years running. I am one of thee premier marner defenders like people hate him for NO REASON. only time ive been mad at my father in the past several years is the other day when i yelled at him for being Wrong About Mitchell but let’s not get into mitchydaddyissues because we can be here for hours about that. he is a creature of light he is Kind On Purpose but also he’s definitely got so much to work through in therapy it’s hard to define. also kind of dumb irl, but hockeywise just absolutely gobsmackingly intelligent. Has the ability to create chances out of nothing i am thinking of so many moments rn but most specifically the oilers game this year where they were down 3-1 and then he just stole it and MAGICKED the leafs into like. 3 goals in 5 minutes and they ended up running away with it. gorgeous. also he is one of the most decorated Winners in ohl history his conn smythe era is almost upon us and i believe this thoroughly

Auston: ALSO SEXY and im NOT embarrassed abt it. Gonna be real theres so many marner scholars out there and i consider myself a trendbreaker. Im a matthews scholar. He’s a virgo you don’t understand him like i (also a virgo) do; he’s meticulous and nerdy and completely blank in his understanding of things he does not care about; he’s whiny and petulant and completely ruthless -- to him there is only the place now, and the goal, and the clear line he needs to draw between point a and point b. he likes things to be Pretty he is fastidious and in that gray area between genre aware and completely oblivious; maybe he is choosing not to take notice of it. he also looks really gay. like are u flagging on purpose mr mustache and earrings

FAVOURITE MOMENT

Willy: overtime winner willy… he is unlike the other leafs stylistically in that he is absolutely fantastic at controlled zone entries AND he has straight-line speed that they. don’t. so this makes him naturally very talented at finding that open space you often get in 3v3 ot and sniping it on the breakaway. i think my fav in this recent years was the one against the blues… he just BURNS tarasenko and forehand-backhands binnington completely effortlessly so sexily. Also him straight up telling steve dangle he couldn’t read

Mitch: POINT STREAK NIGHT. Technically he set the record against tampa in tampa but he TIED the record in toronto against the sharks… it was 2-1 leafs and the sharks had the net empty and mitch was out there and he PASSED on the empty net and we were all like MITCH WHY TAKE THIS FOR URSELF and then the guy he passed to missed. And then he got it back and took the empty net himself and the cheering was so loud and long they had 2 pause the game a lil bit… this was in the recent aftermath of borje salming’s passing and they had the patch on their shoulders, and they were in the actually nice RRs, and mitch was CRYING and i was CRYING and i am STILL CRYING… he means so much to the leafs he WILL be one of the Great Leafs by the time his career is over no leaf will ever wear 16 again after him i love him so much!!! Thats a formative hockey memory

Auston: that time he ate the post and got really really bitchy about it to the press w his swollen lip

IDEA FOR STORY

Willy: now willy is just so cheerily and sexily oblivious it’s honestly kind of hard to maincharacter-ize him. Like he’s just kind of :) chilling. i WOULD like to see a meaningless sitcom episode type beat of him trying to wrangle all of the Swedes to some sort of dinner or something, and shenanigans ensue.

Mitch: the urge to tragic-protagonistize him versus him just being a cheery little motor who’s doing his BEST. i dont know what my mitch niche is he’s really just the emotional heart of it all and im not a very emotional person it is hard 4 me. he’s our main sadman’s bestie <3

Auston: now AUSTON i can write about forever. go read scheherazade etc but in the meantime i think he deserves some begrudging romance. he doesn’t WANT to fall in sappy gay love he’s not sappy he’s not gay and he’s not lovey he wants to WIN CUP but sometimes… WIN CUP comes with bonus SAPPY GAY BOYFRIEND. Also he deserves some erotic tension to knock him off that high horse he’s got a bit. get a leetle bit humiliated. Etc

UNPOPULAR OPINION

Willy: this is really only unpopular among leafs uncles on twitter etc but he is not lazy or emotionally uninvolved at all? He’s literally just coolheaded. U value perseverance and grit but when u get that from a blonde guy who doesn’t hit u don’t value it. that’s genuine xenophobia methinks

Mitch: i don’t get gay vibes from him he’s just real friendly and sweet and pretty. like yeah he definitely messed around w his teammates in juniors but it’s giving more like. experimentation and the results of the experiment were heterosexuality. Bi girl’s straight boyfriend vibes

Auston: coming from my place of Auston Scholarship again i disagree with a lot of the way he’s portrayed in fic… not all of it obvi but i think there’s a certain amount of Big Sexy Latino Guy must therefore be dom top/all this like. anger and feistiness and aggression and stuff when he pretty clearly is not any of that. like he’s never started a fight and tries to stay away from that… in fact his 1 nhl fight (matthews v stamkos, this playoffs) was him clearing up sticks from an earlier shoving match and then stammer going for him to try and draw mutual fighting majors. it’s kinda skeevy and just makes me like. Roll my eyes and leave when he starts getting possessive because he’s. Not really that possessive he likes to share he likes 2 have his guys and likes for all of his guys to like each other… he is having threesomes with bunts and freddie come next season i prommy, not pitting them against each other

FAV RELATIONSHIP

Willy: i think his half-mentorship half-romance with rasmus sandin is really inchresting… also just his general social standing among The Swedes as both one of the country’s best active players AND as a legacy boy

Mitch: 1634 :]

Auston: now im going 2 contradict myself… 1634 are of course platonic/hockey soulmates but i do love his dynamic with Others. The 1634 + machuk dramatic love triangle is v compelling… he did have this fun little Mutual Bastardy relationship with bunts… 9734 is very. Something. and i think the mattdrai girlies who love some regional rivalry high draftee mutual loathing would really enjoy some good good auston/ras dahlin now that machuk is too busy being happily married to sasha barkov

FAV HEADCANON

Willy: he is the oldest boy of six children so he has DEFINITELY done some child wrangling in the past… some oldest brother shenanigans… i think he’s probably great with kids and just with calming down and bossing around those that are younger/obviously less experienced and worldly than him

Mitch: thought the percy jackson books were dense academic texts but obviously really likes greek mythology. so . lied about having read percy jackson (he has not but he says he has)

Auston: paints his toenails

#asks #william nylander #mitch marner #auston matthews

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lurlur · 1 year

Text

I've been getting into hockey for the last, like, 16 months. I'm running a little bit of a fever. I'm British so the concept of mascots is a little bit weird to me. Let's do this.

In order of the current whole league standings, as of January 25th 2023:

Rating the NHL mascots

Part 1

Completely arbitrarily! My system makes no sense!

Boston Bruins

Blades the Bruin

Bruin means bear, so this makes sense as a choice. I guess I get what they were going for with the name but it just kinda makes it sound like a low level gangster. Feels like they couldn't decide whether to make a teddy bear or a scary bear and just got an unsettling middle ground. The eyes are very dead.

Vibes: 6/10

Aesthetic: 4/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 4/10. Not awful, but not great.

Honourable mention for methbear from the winter classic this year. That was a design team that knew how to make choices.

Carolina Hurricanes

Stormy

Stormy is, apparently, a pig. If there's some obvious North Carolina/pig connection, I'm not aware of it. Stormy feels very low effort. The design is weak and lacking in character. It doesn't even look like a good fur suit, tbh. Very big eyes so we're definitely not trying to be intimidating here. Stormy must not be one of those 30-50 feral hogs you used to hear so much about.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetic: 2/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 2/10. Horrible but not for interesting reasons.

New Jersey Devils

NJ Devil

Why does it have abdominal muscles? Clearly, this one is a slut, which I approve of. The name is super uninspired and the design is pretty obvious, but I still find myself on the way to liking it. It's got character and it's not trying to be too human. I know it's not what the New Jersey devil is actually supposed to be, but it looks a horrible kind of fun. What that tongue do?

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 5/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 7/10

Overall, 6/10. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either and that's something.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Carlton the Bear

Carlton is named after the street where the old Leafs arena was. And he's an adorable polar bear. Look at him. He's like the coca cola polar bear without the mischief. That's a face you can trust. Looks like he gives great hugs. I would like to find out.

Vibes: 10/10

Aesthetic: 9/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10, but the lack of horror is a feature and not a bug. So really he's 9/10.

Dallas Stars

Victor E. Green

There's so much to hate here. The name is a bad pun on the Stars "victory green" colours. The character is supposed to be an alien but the design is so lazy. They could have gone in so many directions with this one and instead they just did this. Why even have a mascot if you're going to put this little effort in? No expression. No character. Just green.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetic: 2/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 1/10

Overall, 1.5/10. Very bad showing.

Winnipeg Jets

Mick E. Moose

Someone's trying to get suuuueeedddd! Nah, it's been over a decade and the mouse doesn't appear to have come knocking so I guess the jorts are getting away with it. Mick, here, looks quite the formidable fellow. I like his flying cap and absolutely unhinged expression. I truly believe that he could find me in my dreams and make me regret decisions I haven't even made yet. There's something wrong with him and it looks interesting.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 7/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7.5/10. Very respectable. I will see you in my nightmares, Mr Moose.

Tampa Bay Lightning

ThunderBug

ThunderBug is a lightning bug. Sensible choice for the Lightning. I've seen him on broadcasts a few times but never been able to ascertain if his butt glows. I think it should and anyone who disagrees is wrong. The first time I saw him, he had a big fake beard and I was not a fan of that look at all. Unadorned, I think he's a decent mix of cute and goofy. He's definitely got some character and energy to him.

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetic: 7/10

Horror: 1/10

Fuckability: 6/10

Overall, 5/10. Again, lack of horror is not really a negative. This is a pretty good boy.

Vegas Golden Knights

Chance the Gila Monster

Look at this boy. This is what perfection looks like. I think he should be President of the whole world. I would marry him tomorrow. Look at those kind eyes and sweet smile. He could fit my whole head in his mouth and I would thank him. He's literally never done anything wrong in his whole life. You can't see it in this photo, but he even has a very cute tail. Best boy. The only horror would be at the thought that he might not love me.

Vibes: 100/10

Aesthetic: 100/10

Horror: 0/10

Fuckability: 10/10

Overall, perfection. The platonic ideal of mascots.

LA Kings

Bailey

This is Bailey. Bailey is a lion. This is, apparently, a pretty new look for Bailey. He used to look a lot meaner but he underwent cosmetic surgery and now looks like this. I wish that wasn't the story that the Kings used to relaunch a mascot with a difficult history... But here we are. I'm just judging mascots. Bailey looks weird for a lion, too dark, too smiley, not enough teeth. I feel like there's a spark missing here. Something that would bring life and character to Bailey. He's just a bit generic and underwhelming.

Vibes: 5/10

Aesthetic: 4/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 3.5/10. Could have and should have done better.

Seattle Kraken

Buoy the Troll

New for this season, Buoy the Troll has a lot of attention to detail that I really like. He's got stuff in his hair and ears that tell of a nautical background. I'm pretty sure he fucked a kraken. I feel like "troll" is a cop out in the same way that "alien" is, but Buoy makes it work better. My main gripe with Buoy is that I can't make myself say the name out loud. It's not said the way that I pronounce the word. That bothers me more than it should.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 2/10

Overall, 5/10. Largely because fuckability goes way down if I can't say your name.

New York Rangers

None

Perfect. No notes. Keep doing what you're doing, sweeties. This is the best way to have a mascot: not at all.

Vibes: immaculate

Aesthetic: unparalleled

Horror: unknowable

Fuckability: Schrödinger's fuckability

Overall, no one else is doing it like the Rangers. And they should. (not you, Vegas. Obviously)

Full disclosure, I fell asleep at this point. So now I have to use the standings as of Thursday 26/01. Deal with it.

Edmonton Oilers

Hunter the Lynx

I hate it. I'm saving you from the image, but please know that this lynx also has sculpted abdominals. Again with the bad fur suit vibes, the face is the stuff of nightmares, I'm deeply upset by the jowls. Should the NHL start hiring furries to design their mascots? MAYBE!

Vibes: 2/10 Aesthetic: 1/10 Horror: 8/10 Fuckability: 1/10 Overall, 3/10. Horrible. Soulless. Bad in a bad way, not even a fun way.

Pittsburgh Penguins

Iceburgh

Mixed feelings here, gotta be honest. Love the name and, obviously, it had to be a penguin. He looks pretty fun. But the beak and eyes are giving me "lifeless glove puppet" energy. He could be more penguiny and less flat. Curse the performer's need to see and breathe, eh?

Vibes: 7/10

Aesthetics: 5/10

Horror: 3/10

Fuckability: 2/10

Overall, 4/10 because he loses out on both horror and fuckability by looking too socklike. Sorry, Iceburgh.

Washington Capitals

Slapshot

Slapshot is a really big seagull eagle. He looks pretty fierce, which is not an expression I'm used to seeing on bald eagles. Beautiful plumage. I like him. Good vibes, I think. No word on whether he also has abs to flash at us, but I'm choosing to believe that he doesn't. It's better this way. I wouldn't trust him not to steal my chips though.

Vibes: 8/10

Aesthetic: 8/10

Horror: 4/10

Fuckability: 8/10

Overall, 7/10. Really decent showing for this birb.

Colorado Avalanche

Bernie the St. Bernard

That's a good boy right there. Look at his little barrel! The face is missing something that I can't quite put my finger on, but I do like the lolling tongue and droopy jowls. Maybe what's missing is copious amounts of drool? Just something to make it look a bit more alive and engaged? I know it's possible, I've seen it on other mascots!

Vibes: 9/10

Aesthetics: 7/10

Horror: 2/10

Fuckability: 3/10

Overall, 5/10. He's a good dog, Brant.

Calgary Flames

Harvey the Hound

What the fuck is this? Why does it have a metre long tongue? (Not gonna lie, that's points in favour for fuckability) You know those vintage photos of kids meeting the easter bunny only it looks like everyone involved was in hell? That's what I'm getting from this. Dead face. Cheap fur suit. He does know how to accessorise though, check that hat/collar/belt combo.

Vibes: 2/10

Aesthetics: 4/10

Horror: 5/10

Fuckability: 5/10

Overall, 4/10. What that tongue do?

Part 2 is here!

#nhl mascots #nhl #hockey #lurlur rates mascots

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brendanbrissonswh0re · 1 year

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Last kiss

I’m making a lot of fics inspired by songs rn so if you want a fic inspired by a song request and I’ll do it!!!

Lyrics in bold!!!

Flashback

Fist semester of freshman year is so scary but thank god i made a friend, ivy and I are currently going to a party to welcome the new school year. As we walk into the party it’s packed and I hate packed places because of my anxiety but I’ll just push through I don’t wanna ruin the night for ivy “girl let’s go get a drink” ivy says “ok” on our way to the kitchen I spot this boy he’s tall with a lushes head of curls, he’s cute. When we get info the kitchen I see the boy again I guess I was looking for too long cause he looked back at me I can feel my face heat up as he smiles at me I smile back at him as he walks up to me “I’m Luke” “y/n” luke and I talk the entire night and I get to know that he plays hockey and omg I think I just found my dream man

‘I do recall now the smell of the rain fresh on the pavement’ the party was dying down and luke offered to walk me to my dorm “hey it’s dark out let me walk you back to your dorm” “yeah ok” I said with a smile on my face. On the walk back to my dorm it starts to rain I shiver and luke notices “here take my hoodie” “oh no I’m fine luke” “no I insist” he says as he takes off his hoodie and hands it to me I put on the hoodie but not before I say “are you sure?” “Y/n it’s fine” we finally get to my dorm and he drops me off “just keep the hoodie, it was really nice talking to you” “yeah you too thanks for walking me back” I say with a a blush on my cheeks “no problem” as I walk into my dorm I fall down over a box but I don’t care I just sit their and giggle. ‘So I’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes’ Little did I know that was the start of what I thought was forever

Current time

I’m in the stands watching luke play in Tampa as much as I wanna have faith in the boys I just can’t it was the last seconds of the game and the boys were down 2-5 the game finally ended, they lost. I can’t believe they lost luke and I had talked before about him signing to jersey after the season is over and now it’s officially over my boyfriend is signing as the boys leave the ice I can’t help but to let a few tears out, it’s all over. I’m walking to the boys locker room I see Luke standing outside “hey lulu good game baby” I say hugging him scared of what’s going to come out “y/n/n I have to go” “I know baby” I say tears flowing from my eyes “y/n I love you so much you know that but long distance isn’t gonna work for us” he tells me “I know lulu it’s ok” “I’m sorry y/n/n i really am” “lulu just one last kiss” he gives me a long sweet kiss. I never thought we’d have a last kiss never imagined we’d end like this. I ordered an Uber back to my hotel and I cried i cried so much i fell asleep, it’s over my relationship with Luke is done no more cuddle dates or kisses on the head. As I wake up the next morning eyes burning from the tears I let out last night I check my phone i check instagram immediately I see pictures of luke, he signed I’m so proud of him it’s his dream as I keep scrolling I see more pictures of him practicing with jack. He was everywhere all over my instagram feed. He finally did it, I mean how can i feel bad this is his dream and I’m so proud of him even if I’m not in his life anymore. So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep. I just wish he was here in bed with me. I can’t help but to think about our relationship the day I met his family probably my favorite day they took me in like I was there own.

Flashback

‘Meeting your father’ today is the day I’m meeting Luke’s parents and god am I scared “luke what if they don’t like me, what if they make me break up with you, omg they’re gonna hate me” I ramble before luke places a kiss on my lips how you’d kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something, there’s not a day I don’t miss those rude interruptions. “Babe claim down their gonna love you I promise” as we walk up the driveway and into his house luke had his hands in his pockets I always thought it was so cute how he walks with his hands in his pockets. I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets. Luke knocks on the door and Ellen opens up with Jim standing behind her we walk into the house and Luke’s parents give him a huge they then look over to be before I say “hi I’m y/n”.

Current time

It was the end of the season and the devils had won the cup I was so happy for them as I looked on instagram I saw Luke’s post a picture of him with his new girlfriend holding the cup. And i feel you forget me like I used to feel breathe . I wonder if he remembers me or if I’m just some old ex, I wonder if when he tries to sleep at night if he ever thinks about me. But nothing less I’m happy for them but I wish it was me holding that cup and kissing him just like our last kiss.

Um I don’t really know how to feel about this one so lmk if you like it!!!

#Spotify #luke hughes #umich hockey blurbs #new jersey devils #umich hockey

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cleoselene · 1 month

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All The Concerts!

my mom wrote down every concert she's ever been to and it's a LOT, like in the triple digits

and it got me thinking if I could name every concert I've ever been to? I am fearful I might forget some tho my MS memory sucks but here goes:

New Kids on the Block

Boyz II Men/MC Hammer

Tori Amos (x7)

Switchblade Symphony

KMFDM with Nivek Ogre

VNV Nation (x2)

Air Supply (x2)

Terri Clark (lol I hated country when my family dragged me to this one, I was in my peak Snob Goth era)

Garth Brooks (happened much later when I had learned to embrace country)

Peter Cetera

Sarah McLachlan

The Editors

Radiohead (i hated this hahah, it was so fucking boring like their music. My friend bought the tickets and I had hoped seeing them live would make it click. It did not. I was bored and cold because it was raining in Seattle)

Coldplay (was so much better than Radiohead, seethe snobby indie rock fans)

Regina Spektor

The Decemberists (literally the worst concert I've ever seen. Again I did not buy the tickets but my friend who liked going to indie rock shows always bought two tickets in hopes of getting a date and I was her backup if she didn't. To be clear even though this and Radiohead sucked, I did have a great time with my friend both times)

Cake

George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic

Puscifer

Barry Manilow

ummm now I'm drawing a blank but I KNOW I've been to more shows and the stupid brain damage is making me forget. I've always been to see a fuck ton of tribute bands at this supper club, and tbh they were almost all really good. The Pink Floyd one especially. Also lol in middle school once this club I was in had a band come perform and they were like... a hair metal Christian band that took mainstream rock songs like "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi and changed the lyrics to like... "LIVING 'CAUSE I PRAAYYYY" and it was fucking hilarious. It's driving me crazy tho because I know there are more actual real concerts I am forgetting -_-

so i guess if you count all the artists I saw multiple times, it comes to... *maths* 28 concerts? Which tbh does not feel like nearly enough.

on the bucket list:

Vienna Teng

Brandi Carlile

Portishead (lol this will never happen but a girl can dream)

Beyoncé

Taylor Swift

TOOL

A Perfect Circle

The Amazing Devil (which is somehow even less likely than Portishead)

SO I'LL MAKE THIS A MEME. Tell me which concerts you've been to, and tell me which concerts you feel like you MUST see before you die. @deathinthesun @an-ivy-covered-summer @swiftzeldas @sylvieons and whoever else wants to do it~

I did get Taylor tickets last year HOWEVER they were... beyond atrocious, the seats. Like, upper upper deck, BEHIND the stage with like no visibility, not even of the screens, because again: BEHIND. I had like three people trying to get tickets that day and 2/3 of us failed but my friend succeeded and she was like "do you want me to buy these? they're upper deck" and I was like yeah yeah that's okay! We can look at the screens! And then I saw the "OBSTRUCTED VISIBILITY" thing and looked at the layout and I was like...kind of devastated, honestly? It's really hard for me to do an outing like that physically, it was outdoors in April (which translates to HOT in Florida) and I just didn't see myself able to endure 5 or 6 hours at minimum in the heat without like, passing out and dying. Not to mention I'm still really scared of being in a large space with that many people because my disease-modifying drug destroys most of my immune system. I ended up selling them, and... buying my vinyl collection lol. Taylor got a lot of that money again because I bought a lot of her records. I'm kind of bummed that maybe I missed my chance forever, but again, I don't think I could have physically swung it. Plus, of the three nights she did Tampa, the show I was supposed to go to had meh surprise songs while the other 2 nights had AMAZING ones, so I know I would have been salty about that too. ONE DAY THO.

#music #meme

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multifandomworldsposts · 2 years

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We Met in Tampa PT. 3

A/N: The story is the Elvis movie but Y/N version!

Pairing: Austin!elvis x reader

warning: Smut, Oral (M&F), fluff in the beginning

Y/N’s POV

Elvis was getting TV gigs ALL THE TIME! But we would invite me to some of them like his new movie Love Me Tender. The merchandise, some of it looked good but some looked weird. I sit with Elvis while the Colonel is showing us the merchandise that he has already in the room, a bust, pins, games, etc.

“I hate Elvis.” Elvis and I look at Gladys and she’s holding a pin that says what she said. Why would anyone want that?

“Yes. I hate Elvis. In my way of thinking, “I love Elvis,” that’s an easy sell. Those who hate your son will do so whether we profit from it or not. After all, what is hate worth if it’s free?” The colonel said to Gladys grabbing the pin out of her hand. I can tell she looks uncomfortable.

The colonel came up to Elvis and I and gave Elvis the pin, Elvis looks at it and says, “Snowman strikes again.” The men in the room laugh but I look at Gladys including Elvis’s grandma, I can tell they hate that idea, including myself.

Elvis went to the ‘Lansky Bros.’ and I stayed at Graceland to be with his family. He’s getting a new suit that he told about, I can’t wait to see it! He came home with the suit and I fell in love with it! It suits him so much!

Elvis invited me to go to the network at NBC and I obviously want to go. When we got there I was in shock, I’ve never seen anything like this. The producers gave me a special seat so I can see Elvis better. I look around and see his fans and some of them gave me dirty looks, I didn’t care I was seeing the man I’m in love with preforming ‘Hound Dog’ and I remember the moves he’s doing, he did them when I saw in back home.

The newspapers came and they are brutal like, ‘Elvis The Pelvis Belongs In The Jungle’ or ‘Elvis Presley Must Clean Up His Act — Or Go To Jail’, I get uncomfortable when I see these titles, Some articles are about his ‘mystery girl’, which is me but he wants to talk about me but he’s afraid that I might get death threats by them.

Elvis told me about his ‘Steve Allen’ show, he hated it because he couldn’t dance the way he dance and I felt bad for him, I want him to do what he wants to do because it makes me happy.

“It was the most embarrassing performance of my life, daddy.” Elvis says in a upset voice.

I feel bad for him. I get back to reading until I hear Elvis and Gladys start to yell at each other, “I don’t want all this! You’re unhappy!”

“I am not!” Elvis yelled, which made me flinch. Gladys slams her hands on the table.

I get up to see what’s happening, “You’re losing yourself, Booby!” I walk to Elvis to calm him down but he went to Gladys and she whispers something to him that I couldn’t hear.

I hear his friends coming in yelling Elvis’s nickname. “Tramping mud in my house and doing my damn head in. Come on Y/N/N.” He grabs my arm and says, “Where are we going?” “Anywhere but here.” Elvis takes me to his Cadillac and drives off fast, I don’t say anything I just let him drive.

He takes us to town and I see fans running to the car and Elvis finds a parking spot and opens the door and goes to mine and opens my door so I can get out. I hold on to his arm, there’s a lot of people out here, I just didn’t want to lose him from the crowd. “E.P.!” I hear and I turn my head, B.B. King? One of my friends love his music. Elvis takes me to Club Handy and B.B. King took us in the club.

I hear music inside, Elvis telling B.B. about what’s been going on at Graceland, B.B. looks at me and giving me a face like ‘is he serious’ face, I nod. B.B. talks to Elvis but I can’t hear them. B.B. opens the door to the club and this place looks amazing including the the singer, Little Richard? The same friend listens to him as well. We get to a table and I sat down next to Elvis. “Man, he sings the hell out of that song!” I hear E. say.

“Can I steal your girl for a moment?” A woman says to us.

“Uh, sure.” I get up and says.

“I want to show you something, it’s nothing bad I just want to show you something.” She says.

I look at Elvis and he nods, “Yeah of course.” She drags me to a hallway to a fancy clothing store.

“My name is Y/N what’s yours?” She looks at me and says “Anne.”

“This place looks amazing.”

“This is one of my favorite stores to go to. Hey Susie!” Susie looks at us.

“Ms. Y/N here, let’s give her a makeover.” “Why’s that?” I look at Anne.

“That man with you, Elvis Presley, needs to see someone with something new.”

“Okay fine.” Susie and Anne gives me a lot of clothes and one caught my eye, a lingerie set that I think Elvis would like. I try on the clothes but saved the lingerie for last. Anne and Susie complemented me and when I got on the lingerie, they immediately said, “That’s the one you need to wear!”

“You think so?” I look at myself and look back to them.

“Yes honey! He’ll die, not really.” Anne smiles.

“Can I pay you Susie?”

“It’s on the house Y/N.”

“Are you sure? I can pay you if yo-“

“It’s on the house sweetheart.”

“Thank you! I mean really thank you so much!” I walk up to Anne and she give me my coat and says, “He’ll love it!” I chuckle nervously.

We get back to Club Handy and Anne says, “There he is, go show off Y/N.”

“Thank you so much for this.”

“You’re welcome! Now stop stalling and go to your man!”

I walk up to Elvis but I take my coat off, Elvis looks at me and I can see he wants to do something to me but we’re in public.

“Y/N, can I talk to you in private?” Elvis drags me to a private hallway, I look back at Anne, she gives me a wink.

“What are you wearing Doll?” Elvis says trapping me on a wall but puts his left hand on the wall.

“You like it?” I said nervously.

“I love it but we’re in public Honey.”

“We’re in private E.” He stayed silent.

I lean in to kiss him, he kisses me back until it became a make out. I start to moan. He grabs my left leg to his waist and starts to kiss my neck. I can feel his cock getting hard. I start to moan, he takes me to the nearest room and locks it, I feel a table, I sit on the edge, I’m ready for him, so ready for him to do something to me. He comes back to me and lays me down on table and tries to find the zipper to the lingerie. I help him to get the lingerie off and starts to make out with him again, I don’t want this to stop. He gets between my legs and starts to eat me out, I moan again, I tug on his hair, he sucks on my clit and I start to scream, ‘damn he’s good’ I thought.

Elvis helps me get the lingerie back on my body and whispers, “Wait until we get home Darlin’.” I heavily breathe, I’m so glad I met him.

We get back to people still dancing and I see Anne waving her left hand for me to come over to her table. I go to her table and sit down and Anne just says, “That was a long time what did you two do?”

“Well we, made out.” Anne looks at me looking ecstatic.

“The Elvis Presley did that to you?” One of Anne’s friends says.

“Mm-hmm.” I answered.

“And, he did more then made out with me, he.” I look around and whispers in Anne’s ear “He ate me out.” Anne looks at me she looks at me like she won the lottery.

“He what Anne?” One of her friends questions.

“He ate her out Janet.” She gasps and says, “That man can do more then singing.” She says. I giggle.

“I’m so rude this is Janet, this Briana, and this is Gabriella.” Anne introduced me to her friends. “Hi nice to meet you, my name is Y/N.”

“You look so beautiful by the way.” Briana says. “Thank you! So do you!”

It’s closing time at Club Handy but Elvis and I stayed longer. Thorpe starts to sing and I’m in awe, she’s an amazing singer. “I’m goin’ to heaven to get my reward.” I start to clap, she’s amazing, I think amazing as me.

I go up to Anne and she introduced me to Thorpe.

“Rosetta! Meet Y/N, she’s Elvis Presley’s girl.”

“Oh it’s nice to meet you Y/N.” She smiles.

“You we’re amazing.”

“Why thank you darling, you know a lot white trash come here to terrifies us every day.”

“I’m so sorry! My parents never taught me to do that, they taught me to be kind to everyone.”

“You really sweet to all of us by the way.” Anne says.

“And thank you for this outfit.”

“What outfit? Oh come on I want see the little number.” I show Rosetta the lingerie.

“Now that’s you! I bet you’ll wear it all time.”

“Just around Elvis.” I whisper in her ear, Rosetta laughs.

“Speaking of Elvis where is he?” Anne looks around for him.

“Uh, there he is outside with B.B. King.” I turn and see Elvis outside with B.B. A few minutes later a photographer comes in and asks me to pose so Rosetta, Anne, her friends and I pose but Janet says, “Show off your lingerie Y/N!” I giggle and took off my coat and posed with the women.

The photographer took out a few pictures and I said, “I want a copy.”

He gave one of the pictures and I put it in my pocket and he went to Elvis and B.B. “Hey, Elvis, B.B! Give us a smile.” I heard.

Elvis and I had to leave and said goodbye to everyone. We went to his car and he drove off to Graceland.

“Elvis, I never had that much fun since, since uh-“ I take my coat off “Since you met me?” Elvis chuckles and lays on his bed.

“Maybe, I never had that much fun since I went to homecoming two years ago with my sisters.”

I lay next to him. “Well would your parents get mad if they see you in this baby?” He points out my lingerie.

“They’d die if they see me in this.”

“Y/N/N, I love you, you know that?”

“Of course I do E. I love you so much.”

“Let’s do what we did in that room a couple hours ago.” I lean in towards him and start kissing him again, he makes me straddle him and unzips the lingerie, I take it off and kisses him again.

He lays me down on the bed so he could be on top of me and I help him getting his clothes off, he takes his boxers off and gets a condom out of his nightstand drawer. He rips the rapper and get the condom out and puts it on his dick. He looks at me but I stop him, he looks confused.

“What about your family and friends, what if they can hear us?”

“All their rooms are far away from ours honey, it’s okay to scream my name.” He smirks. I kiss him again, I feel him entering in me and I start to moan. I don’t want this to end. “E-E-Elvis. Oh god.” I moan out. He kept on going in and out. I hear him grunting, I start to scream, God this feels good. “How you feeling baby?” “So good E, keep going.” He keeps going, he starts to kiss my neck, I feel him giving me a hickey. I gasp and scratches his back, “Don’t stop Elvis.” He moans and continues to kiss my neck and continues to fuck me. He stops, I whimper. “Remember what I did to you honey?” I know what exactly what he’s talking about. He goes to my clit and eats me out again. I grip on his hair and gasps “E-“ He stops eating me out and starts to nibble and kiss on my inner thigh, I gasp again, I grip on the sheets and looks down at Elvis. “Elvis.” He looks up at me, “I need you.” He smirks and climbs back to my face and kisses me again, but I stop him, “That’s not what I meant Hon.” He gives me a confused look. “I need you.” I grip on his cock, he knows. He fucks me again, but harder. “Ah Elvis!” “Fuck baby.” We continue to do this for longest time until we both go tired. He takes off the condom and throws it in the trash and lays next me. I heavy breath and look at Elvis who’s also heavy breathing. “How’s that Y/N/N?” “I- Oh Elvis, that was so good.” “I’m glad baby. You know I have that concert tomorrow.” “I forgot about that E. I’m sorry.” “Don’t be Y/N, we get there at 8:30 pm tomorrow, don’t worry.” I lay my head on his chest and felt relieved. “Darlin’?” I look up at him and say, “Yes?” “I’m so glad I met you.” He touched my hair. “I’m glad to Elvis.” I give him a peck. I lay next to him and I fell asleep immediately.

#fanfic #austin butler #elvis presley #austin butler fanfiction #austin!elvis smut #austin butler smut #elvis the movie #elvis presley smut #austin butler x reader #baz luhrmann elvis #elvis movie 2022 #austin butler!elvis #austin butler x y/n

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keyshui · 1 year

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i present to you, a very unserious post in which i insult every NHL team!

(this is all exaggerated so don’t get mad at me)

anaheim ducks - why is it that 1/3 of the way through the season you remember how to play hockey? like at this point it’s useless since you’re not making the playoffs and if you keep up like this you sure aren’t getting bedard

arizona coyotes - i do not like your jerseys. you would be forgettable but you suck too much for it

boston bruins - the only thing your team has going for you are your goalies and i hope next season you end up where the ducks are rn: not good enough for the playoffs and not bad enough for the draft lottery. sorry garnet hathaway (please come back)

buffalo sabres - i can define your entire team in one word: disappointment

calgary flames - anything good about you died when matthew tkachuk decided to go to florida. sorry!

carolina hurricanes - something about the “canes” nickname annoys the shit out of me. i hope you get a first round exit purely so the fans enjoying their team being good for once can be upset about it

chicago blackhawks - do i even have to say anything? because ew

colorado avalanche - literally how did you win the cup last year? thanks for the cup winning goalie btw <3 kuemper is better as a cap

columbus blue jackets - you don’t deserve bedard and i hope you lose the lottery since you’re clearly not pulling yourself out of the tank like the ducks

dallas stars - your jerseys are fucking ugly and the only stars player i can think of is tyler seguin (seriously… why that green…)

detroit red wings - you have the most obnoxious fan base i have ever had the displeasure of being in the same stadium with. LET GO OF THE 90s!!! PLEASE

edmonton oilers - how do you have two of the best players in the league and still manage to fail to get a cup every single playoffs

florida panthers - honestly if it weren’t for matthew tkachuk trade and the all stars game you’d be a dying, forgettable team

los angeles kings - i literally cant think of anything to put here. that’s how little you matter.

minnesota wild - one time in like 2019 the wild squished the caps at a game i was at so i decided that the wild suck. other than that y’all are so forgettable that i don’t have anything else to say

montreal canadiens - how is it that you keep managing to get beaten so so badly by teams that suck?

nashville predators - uuuugly ass jerseys and stuuuupid ass name

new jersey devils - jack hughes isn’t as hot as y’all think he is both in terms of attraction and skill

new york islanders - i hold a deep seated hatred for all new york city teams. you and your fanbases are so goddamn annoying

new york rangers - same with the islanders except 10x worse purely because of the little rivalry the caps hage with you (hope tom wilson squishes you tonight <3)

ottawa senators - really says something about your team that you had to name brady tkachuk of all people captain

philadelphia flyers - literally what is your logo i hate it. the only thing you have going for you is gritty and even that gets tiring REAL fast

pittsburgh penguins - i don’t care if the caps/pens rivalry doesn’t exist anymore it’s ingrained into me i hate you all and especially sidney crosby. you’re an aging team. retire already. ovechkin is better and malkin is overhyped

san jose sharks - wasted a sick ass team name on a depressing team

seattle kraken - y’all were doing so good at the start of the season what the hell happened. now it’s just disappointment…

st. louis blues - you’re one of those teams that i forget isn’t fake sometimes. like you’re not forgettable you’re just not… real

tampa bay lightning - i don’t get the hype the fanbase has for vasilevsky and your gray/yellow jerseys are way better than the normal ones

toronto maple leafs - auston matthews is not hot even slightly y’all just have competency kinks and it’s sad

vancouver canucks - quinn hughes looks so haunted and depressed all the time for a reason

vegas golden knights - did y’all think you were being funny when you decided to match with the kings?

washington capitals - jesus fuck just retire the entire goddamn team at this point. stop sending your prospects to the ahl and fucking play them if you want to give your roster some “youth” (i’m looking at you gmbm & laviolette)

winnipeg jets - if it weren’t for the fact that i used a website to make this list alphabetical order i would’ve forgotten you

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cellythefloshie · 1 year

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;; The Long Road Ahead Chapter Eleven of the Road Wife Series

Chapters Table of Contents 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15

Summary: You’re back for your first road trip since being sent home by Coach Cooper and you’re left to worry about the repercussions of your actions all the while pleasuring the players you were on contract to serve. It feels like your first day all over again, and Hedman helps you get over your nerves by easing you into your duties. Kinks & TW: sex work, vanilla sex, protected sex, Hedman is a gentle giant, implied size kink (mostly because Heddy is so much bigger and it makes things a little awkward), sharing a bed, sleeping together - literally, morning sex. Word Count: 4471 Taglist: @equallyshaw @charles11700

Six Days. You had sat at home for six days ignoring text messages, binge-watching television, and waiting. Waiting for the call that would mark the end of your very short tenure with the Tampa Bay Lightning. A call that never came. For whatever reason, a reason that you may never know yourself, you got to keep your job. Maybe Coach Cooper had failed to tell the wives of your indiscretions, or maybe they were willing to turn a blind eye just this once, but you got to keep hold of your position as the team’s road wife and that meant joining the team for their six-game road trip.

If you don’t hear from anyone before our next road trip to Dallas, I want you on the runway waiting for us.

And it was on the runway you waited, your bag already on the plane and your camera in hand. You greeted each player as they passed, each roster and taxi squad member carrying their luggage and a coffee with them as they boarded. It was a quick flight to Dallas, but it was a long road trip leaving the plane crowded with extra staff and bags as you boarded after all the players had been accounted for. You lingered in the doorway for a moment, enjoying the chaos of the players shouting between one another as they settled in for the flight. You hated how normal it all felt. How the mistakes you had made, had little to no repercussions beyond Tony sitting with Point instead of Matthieu for the flight out. You were still greeted with the same smiles and lingering eyes as you always had been. They all had to know about what had happened by now, and yet, nothing changed and that left your stomach in knots.

You took a careful step down the aisle, your body falling into its usual path to the vacant seat that waiting for you alongside Tony when you found your stride hesitating. While you wanted to fall back into the routines the two of you had fallen into before Nashville you couldn’t forget the divide you had felt. He had been distant for so long, and your indiscretions at the training facility left you with whiplash. You had ignored his texts for six days, and his sweater was in your bag waiting to be returned to him - but wasn’t entirely sure you wanted to give it back. You wanted it to be yours, just as he wanted you to be his and only his, but you had a job to do and you could not risk putting yourself in such a position again.

Biting your lip you settled into a vacant seat, not the one Tony had left open next to him with the hope of you coming to sit beside him, but instead sitting across from him and Brayden. You offered them both a soft smile as you peeled off your coat - and you could feel both of their stares on your neck as it was bared to them. Even after six days, an unreasonable amount of concealer, and Brayden’s careful instructions, the bruises from Tony’s bite remained on your skin. You knew it wasn’t going to go unnoticed, especially by them, but the attention still left you shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

You craved desperately just to curl up and claim a shoulder as your pillow to hide from the gazes that you would undoubtedly attract - and with your phone free of notifications of upcoming appointments for the first time since you could remember it was a welcome possibility but instead you reached into your bag and pulled out a book you hadn’t quite finished while on your unexpected vacation. You were determined to finish it during the flight, but struggled to get comfortable in your seat, shifting occasionally as you read. Your struggle didn’t go unnoticed as you felt a hand find your calf. The hand gripped your leg carefully but without hesitation, drawing it up into their lap and taking off your heel before doing the safe with the other. You swallowed hard, feeling the careful stroke of their hand over your foot as you peered over the edges of your book and at Brayden who sat across from you.

He offered you a half smirk, a glimmer in those bright blue eyes of his before his attention was fully returned to Tony who sat beside him. They were in one of those debates they seemed to love getting tied up in. You didn’t know exactly what they were going on about this time, was it the cucumber vs pickles debate again? Or maybe they had returned to their heated discussion about toothpaste. Either way, you knew better than to get involved. Soon the whole plane would be involved in the argument, and the noise and chaos would keep the players, Tony included, from noticing how Point would drag his thumb over your foot or how his hand would slip up the back of your leg and stroke along your smooth flesh slowly. It brought you the comfort you needed, but it left your eyes leaving the book’s pages with worry. They would constantly move to Tony who would share mere glances with you before it would waiver and his focus would return to Point. When your gaze should have returned to your book, instead it wandered through the cabin where the rest of the players were growing unruly as Tony and Point grew louder. It was drawing the attention of many, including Matthieu and Ross that sat across the aisle.

While it appeared the relationships remain strained, there would be no ignoring the debate as it unfolded and their involvement. You perked up with an all too familiar laugh that echoed through the cabin, one that left goosebumps on your skin. Ross was taking amusement in it all, his charming smile taking his face and his bright eyes finding yours and lingering. He looks like a bashful, excited puppy as he casually bit down on his lower lip before falling back into the debate he had made himself a part of. Between the noise, the glances, and the touch that remained against your feet you were spiraling. Not even your book could save you now. You tucked it back into your bag before your eyes darted to your phone to check the time. You were not even halfway through your flight and the team would be going straight to the arena once you landed. You needed to ground yourself and fast.

As if he could read your mind, your savior came and took the vacant seat next to you. With a bottle of water in one hand, and his phone in the other, Pat offered you a smile. “They really do get worked up, huh?” Pat nodded to the pair across the table and offered you a soft smile, “it looked like you could use some saving.”

“Yeah,” you breathed out desperately, “something like that.”

He offered you one of his headphones casually as he placed one in his ear. You both settled in with his playlist to drown out the chaos around you, and with your head on Pat’s shoulder - and your feet still in Brayden’s lap - you did your best to enjoy the rest of the flight.

When the plane landed in Dallas, the team was loaded into the bus and driven straight down to American Airlines Center. It left no time for appointments, not when it was so close to game time. You watched it all unfold from the box overhead, as the Tampa Bay Lightning battled through the game of seemingly never-ending penalties and ultimately took the game 2-0 after another outstanding performance from Vasilevskiy. His back-to-back shutout performance left his teammates riding a high on their way to the hotel room - but not you.

You were exhausted. You forgot just how taxing being on the road could be, and this was just the first night of the longest road trip of the season. It was as if you were on autopilot when you left the arena and the entire bus ride to the hotel. You didn’t hear a single word spoken or the chime of the notifications on your phone. All you could think about was going back to your room and going to bed. You shuffled through the lobby, and to the floor, the team had been assigned only to groan out. Of course, they hadn’t assigned you a room - and where the hell were your bags?

“Come all the way up here for nothing,” you muttered under your breath, frustrated, as you moved back towards the elevator with the intent of going all the way back down to the lobby to give the person at the front desk a piece of your mind. That was until you felt a gentle touch on your shoulder.

“To-” Tony’s name was quick to fall from your lips at the touch, but upon turning around you were ably to cut yourself short, as it wasn’t Tony at all. “Victor,” you spoke slowly, your head tilting back to look up at the defenseman that towered over you. You were completely and utterly intimidated by him in every way. Not only was Victor a giant of a man, and he was also always so soft-spoken and you always struggled to know what exactly to say to him. “I think they lost my bags…”

A small smile creeps up onto his features, his tired eyes meeting yours as a hand casually points back down the hall to his room. “Bags are all waiting for you in the room.”

You quirked a brow up at him. In the room? You peered around him casually as your hand slipped down into your coat pocket. Drawing out your phone you let out a sigh. The notifications were clear as day:

Requested. Pending. Confirmed.

“I’m so sorry, Victor,” you spoke quickly as your cheeks flushed with color, “I hadn’t checked my phone during the game-” Or after it, and you hadn’t intended on checking it again until morning. You groaned, silently chastising yourself. Checking it sooner would have saved you a lot of trouble.

“Hey,” Victor spoke gently, “don’t worry about it. We’ve all had a long day, and it’s going to be another long one tomorrow. So, how about we go get some rest?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out slowly, a hand reaching out to take hold of Victor’s arm as it was offered to you, “I haven’t stopped thinking about crawling into bed since the second period,” you admitted to him gently, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Your little vacation must have been exhausting,” Victor hummed as he got to the door and your stomach twisted into knots.

When Brayden had stopped by, he was under the impression that you had gone home because you were feeling unwell and were following protocol, but Victor’s words and subtle glance were knowing. He knew exactly why you were sent home.

“I kept myself busy,” you spoke slowly, cautiously as you stepped into the hotel room, “but it’s good to be back, really. Was getting cabin fever back home.”

You lingered at the center of the room, your hands holding one another awkwardly as you watched Hedman move almost routinely throughout his hotel room. You hadn’t had the time to read over the appointment in your calendar. You didn’t know his expectations or his rules, and you were not going to risk breaking the rules again. So you watched him intently, patiently. He shuffled through his own bag, wasting no time in unpacking it when the team would be leaving the next morning. He grabbed his toothbrush and a pair of pajama pants before disappearing into the bathroom. Then, it hit you. Victor was actually preparing to go to bed. The rest he spoke of in the hall, wasn’t code or a casual innuendo. He just wanted to sleep next to you.

Moving to your bag, you pulled out your toiletry bag and your pajamas slowly - your hand lingering over the team-branded sweatshirt that was hidden away, the number 71 so clear against your fingers as you let them graze over the fabric. It had been draped over your chair in for apartment for six days, and somehow Tony’s cologne could still be smelt on it. That same smell lingered on the contents of your bag now. There would be no ridding them of it. Leaving the sweatshirt in your bag, you held your pajamas close to your chest as you moved for the bathroom door.

You leaned in its frame, suddenly breathless at the sight of the great Swedish defenceman standing in front of the sink in nothing but his sleep pants hanging low on his hips. A careful sigh leaves your lips at the sight of him, your tongue swiping over your lower lip as his back muscles tensed and rippled as he arched over the sink to spit out his toothpaste.

“Just about done in here, then it’s all yours,” Victor smiled back at you in the reflection of the mirror once he caught sight of you.

Your cheeks flushed with color, your head turning to quickly look away as if it already wasn’t clear that you had been staring, it was now. “No rush, really,” but he was already done, stepping away from the mirror to tower over you in the doorway.

His hands seek out each side of your face, his thumbs stroking the angles of your cheekbones as he arches over to place a simple kiss on your forehead. “Just crawl right in when you’re ready. I already arranged a wake-up call so we don’t miss breakfast.” He leaves you standing in the doorway, your gaze following him to the bed that he is almost too tall for as he climbs in.

Closing the door behind you, you hide in the bathroom for a moment. You drop everything to the floor, drawing your phone from your pocket to take a good long look at the request. Your finger scrolled over the screen slowly, as you took in every word. Every instruction, expectation, and limit left by his wife and you repeated it until it could go unforgotten. You muttered it to yourself as you slipped into your pajamas and fell into your night routine of brushing your teeth and washing your face - but even when you were done, you stood arched over the sink feeling as if your stomach was about to jump up your throat.

Your nerves were raw, sending a tingle into your fingertips as you felt as if you were on the verge of illness. It was like it was your first day all over again, the vacation giving you an unwanted reset that reminded you just how much was on the line. You hold your own gaze in the mirror for some time, your hands gripping the sink as you took in deep steady breaths. You just had to get some rest. That’s it. The rest you could worry about in the morning.

You left your things in a small pile on the countertop, you would gather them in the morning, and turned off the light with the run of your hand over the wall. You navigated through the darkness with careful steps, your teeth chewing on your lower lip as you came to the end of the bed. Victor was already tangled in the blanket, and for a moment you thought he was already asleep, that was until his hand patted against the mattress gently as he spoke in a rough, sleepy voice, “I don’t bite.”

His words coax a smile onto your lips, the mattress shifting as you crawl up the length of the bed to lay at his side. You let out a long, steady breath as you fisted the blankets in your hands and pulled them up over your frame. You could feel his warmth radiating from him, and his legs brush against you as he got comfortable. His arm followed after, finding your hip as he drew you back so that you were pulled flush to his chest. Heddy was a cuddler.

It didn’t bother you much, not really. If anything, it was nice to have the warmth of another after being alone for so long. You cuddled back into him, your eyes falling shut and welcoming the sleep that was so desperate to take you.

Come morning, it’s not the sound of the hotel phone ringing but the warmth of Hedman’s mouth against your shoulder as his large hands dragged effortlessly over the curves of your body. His touch is gentle, drawing you from your sleep in such a way you aren’t left feeling groggy. When he sees your lips curl up into the slightest of grins, Hedman smiles and guides your mouth to his in a gentle kiss that tastes better than a cup of coffee - and does don’t a much better job at waking you up.

“Time to get up, already?” you pout, your hand coming up to rest against Hedman’s cheek carefully. He’s so gentle and warm, it’s almost as if you’re in a dream and you find yourself curling into his embrace without thought.

"Still early," he mumbled, nuzzling his face into your shoulder - his beard surprisingly soft against your skin, "breakfast isn't for another," he paused as he reached for his phone on the bedside table, "forty-five minutes or so."

He places a gentle kiss on your shoulder, working his way up to the crook of your neck gently. His kiss sends your heart racing in your chest as you let out a satisfied hum.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm," you hummed simply, rolling loved to face him.

Your legs tangled with his, or rather what was in your reach. He was tall, giant really, his legs surpassing the tips of your toes. If he wasn't a full foot taller than you, he was damn near it and you were feeling it fully now as you lay beside him with your head tilted up to meet his gentle gaze.

"Not quite ready to get out of bed?" He smiled.

"Not even close," you met his smile with your own as you both fell into silence. You had forgotten just how good it had felt to wake up next to someone in the morning - you had been waking up alone since you had woken up next to Ross.

Your heart faltered at the thought of him, your face falling soft and Victor must have seen it because he was bringing a hand to your cheek, stroking it gently.

"Everything okay?" He leaned in as you nodded.

"Yeah, yeah it's nothing," you assured him, falling silent as his thumb trailed down your cheek and down over your lips carefully.

"You can tell me if something is bugging you," he muttered, his thumb moving over your chin, parting your lips as you let out a careful breath.

"I was just thinking," you formulated your lie with slow careful words, "that I couldn't remember the last time I got to wake up with someone like this… It's been a long time. It's nice…"

"It is," he agreed gently, his touch lingering along the angles of your jaw, "don't get many nights like that while on the road, especially during a long trip. It's easy to miss home - but with you here… with what you do for us, any city can feel like home."

You took in a sharp breath as his thick fingers dragged down over the length of your neck. You felt so small and fragile beneath the touch of his hand. He could so easily wrap his hand around your throat, take the air from your lungs, and yet his every touch was gentle as his hand rounded to the back of your neck. Fingers stroked your gentle skin as he carefully drew you in. You felt the heat of his breath against your face before you felt his lips against your own. His kiss is a gentle graze, drawing your mind from its thoughts to focus solely on the taste of his tongue and the feeling of his hand against your skin as he took hold of your hip with his free hand.

Victor so effortlessly lifted you off the mattress, picking you up and placing you down on his lap so that you straddled his strong thighs. You held your breath at how truly vulnerable you were in his hold. He was so big, so strong, that any moment he could take you, pin you down, and force you to do just about anything. Yet, he was the opposite. He was gentle with every kiss, stroke, and touch - his every movement so thoughtful, so tender, that it left you feeling as if you were in a dream.

His lips left a burning trail from your mouth and down the angles of your jaw. They sought out your neck in a gentle flutter kissing over bruises that now looked like mere shadows and didn’t dare try to leave one of his own. Even as he drew down the thin strap of your camisole, and placed a careful kiss on your shoulder his lips were feather-light. It sent a pleasant shiver down your spine and coaxed a soft sound - something caught between a sigh and a moan - from your lips.

“Such a pretty sound you make when you like something,” Victor muttered against your soft skin, smiling as he felt the gentle, instinctive, roll of your hips against the breadth of his thighs. “I think we have more than enough time before breakfast, I’d love to hear more of it…”

For a moment, his words made it feel as if this wasn’t your job - that Victor didn’t ask you with the expectation of you saying yes.

Looking away, you did your best to hide the giddy smile that crept up onto your lips. Butterflies blossomed in your stomach as your eyes met his soft, pale green eyes that brought you calm. “Yeah,” you nodded slowly, your smile growing, “I would like that.”

Victor’s grin matched your own as he sat up to press a gentle kiss against your forehead. His hands took hold of your hips, lifting you up and placing you down on the bed effortlessly. “Let me just grab-”

His cheeks flushed with color as he scrambled to get out of bed, his legs were tangled in the blankets giving him a bit of trouble ad leaving him awkwardly standing at the foot of the hotel bed.

“In my bag,” you pointed to the carry-on that you kept with you more often than not, “side pocket, should be enough to choose from.”

Your thumbs found the waist of your pajama, pushing them down the length of your legs and losing them in the bed as Hedman stood over your bag sorting through the condoms of varying sizes, flavors, and textures. You didn’t see what he settled on as he moved to the waste basket at the edge of the room, discarding the foil and working down his pajamas to slip the thin latex down over his cock.

You remained perched on your elbows, watching him as he approached, his cock knocking against his inner thigh, with each step. The bed shifted under his weight, and you held your breath as he crawled up over you. You lay back in the bed, your head meeting the plush pillows and your body over the tangled blanket. It all felt so plush, so soft, that you thought you might sink right through them. That you might be consumed by them fully as Victor encroached so slowly on your body. Leaning in, he stole your air, leaving you holding your breath until his very kiss breathed life back into your lungs.

Quivering, your legs spread slowly, welcoming him between them. Victor kissed you slowly, his large form hovering carefully over your own as his hands dragged up the length of your legs and to the apex of your thighs. He sought out your entrance with a grazing touch that left you shuddering. He traced his fingers around your cunt slowly, coaxing them to an eager wetness that he was sure would take him with ease. When he was satisfied, he drew back from your lips with a grin and with a single hand dropped it to his cock. He guided the head of his length up and down your folds before easing it inside you.

Your lips released a shaky breath onto Victor’s chest as your walls stretched out to accommodate the gentle thrust of his cock inside you. His height made things only a little awkward as he fell into a slow and steady rhythm, carefully thrusting up into you as his hands stroked the back of your thighs, his fingers kneading at your flesh as he guided them back to wrap around his hips. Your face was buried in his neck, and your arms struggled to reach around his back to hold him. You could feel his cheek against the top of your head, his head tilting on occasion to kiss the top of your head as he fucked you with such care and compassion that it almost felt wrong.

“Victor,” you moaned out into his neck, your lips dragging over his skin in a careful open-mouthed kiss that you were sure wouldn’t leave a mark. Your skin was set ablaze, toes curling as they began to tingle with the pleasure that seemed to strike each nerve in your body in just the right way. Your lips parted and your eyes fluttered shut as your cunt begin to pulse with pleasure. What started as a gasp in your throat, became those soft, sweet sounds Victor enjoyed so much slipping from your lips. They were a gentle hymn that helped coax him to his own climax.

He met your moan, with a groan of his own. You name a whisper so quiet you weren’t sure he said it at all, that you could have imagined it leaving his lips until he said it again, his pace quickening but his force never more than gentle. Victor didn’t draw from you as he came, and instead rode out his climax buried deep inside the warmth and comfort of your core. When he drew back, it was seemingly all at once, his cock, and warmth leaving you void as you lay sprawled out on the mattress, your arms and legs weak from clinging to his strong form so desperately.

Victor moved back to the waste bin, stripping the soiled condom from his still half-hard cock and disposing of it casually as the phone rang. Your wake-up call.

#victor hedman #hockey imagines #hockey players #hockey smut #hockey rpf #nhl players #nhl imagine #;; the road wife

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