#and sometimes i just let them bc it was easier

[hopelesslonelyghost]

18+ ghoap x fem!reader

soap with a pretty bird back at home who he facetimes all the time bc they just miss each other so much. they’re so clingy for each other.

you’re always relaxing when you call him. in a t-shirt and sweatpants and are either sitting on the couch with a warm lamp on beside you or laying in bed with only the fairy lights on. you’re always giggling and smiling and making sure to keep your entire face within frame so that johnny can see all of you.

and you know that his lieutenant is always somewhere beside him even if johnny denies it, but you know. because the two of you have spoken about it.

“i showed ghost a pic of you.” he spoke one night after the two of you had finished some…salacious activities.

you immediately lifted your head up from where it was laying on his chest, “which one did you show him?”

“don’t get upset.”

you side-eyed him instantly, “john…” you smacked him lightly, “which oneeee?”

after a bit of pestering, he showed you. it was a mirror pic of you in some oversized sweatpants and a thin tank top. your hair was tied back and you were brushing your teeth. it was a silly pic, one meant only for him.

“oh my god, mactavish I can’t believe you!”

“wai’ bonnie lemme explain.”

you were pretty sure you were bright red, trying to hide your face in your hands, but johnny wasn’t letting you.

gripping your wrists, he pushed them both besides your head, getting between your legs, forcing them open, “he loved it.”

your mouth fell open, “johnny how the fu-! HOW?! I look like shit! my face is greasy and I’m pretty sure I hadn’t showered that day when I sent that picture!”

he chucked and pecked your nose, cheeks, and finally your lips, “you weren’t there to see his face. fuck lass, he was exactly like you are now, ears red and all doe-eyed.”

you felt him hardening again, rubbing up against your already soaked cunt, before slipping in with ease, “gonna bring him home. have him fuck this pretty pussy. show him how much of a good girl you are.”

with that in mind, you sometimes say, and do, some out-of-pocket stuff. one time you were complaining to your boyfriend how the birth control pill was making your tits sore and how much bigger they were getting.

“look!” you turned on your nightlight and faced it, giving your boyfriend, and subsequently ghost, an unfiltered view of your tits through your nightie. the low cut helped accentuate them.

your grin was hidden off camera was you palmed one of them and whined, putting on a show for both men, “they’re so swollen babe. i wish you were here to massage them.”

“steamin’ jezus bonnie.”

you could hear a choked off groan somewhere in the background. bingo.

“you’re coming home soon, right baby?” you moved the camera back to your face, pouting and batting your lashes.

“fuck yes. coming home real soon, I promise.”

and it was sometime past three in the morning when he got home a few days later. you were already sleeping, the heat during the summer nights was enough to have the a/c on blast, and wearing just a cropped tank top and a thong to bed.

the sound of the unit running made it easier for both soap and ghost to make their way to your shared room. there you laid on your side, facing away from the door. thin sheets had been kicked off and were now tangled up around your thighs, your bare ass was in full display. the string of your thong tucked nicely between your perky cheeks.

both men swallowed their groans, soap turning to the taller man and elbowing him softly, “better than a phone call, eh l.t.?”

ghost swallowed roughly, eyes never leaving your moonlit body, “way fuckin’ betta’ sergeant.”

and then both men pounced. they’d both requested extended leave, and they planned on using all of it buried deep inside you.

#ough i’ve been thinking about those two SO MUCH #i’m so feral #a little self indulgent tbhhhh #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #ghoap x reader #simon ghost riley #johnny mactavish #ghoap #cod mw2 #cod mw3

[ghostie000]

i swear on my life that i am not implying that autism stereotypes are better to deal with, but when i was diagnosed with autism everyone was like “ohhh cute baby ANGEL!! cute sweet darling special BABY!!” and now that i have bpd everyone’s like “bad!! evil shameful DEMON!! scary creepy SERIAL KILLER, the DEVIL!!!”

#like people translated autism to infant when i was dxed with it and treated me like a child #and sometimes i just let them bc it was easier #now that i have bpd all of my idiosyncrasies are no longer attributed to specialness they're more considered signs of some underlying evil #and to be fair i've internalized this way of analyzing things to some degree so some of it is coming from me #but i definitely notice the difference #now i'm at least taken seriously i guess that's a plus #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #tw: stigma #tw: stereotypes #mental health stigma #ableism #cw: discourse

[wigglebox]

Some style exploration sketches for Dean and Cas

#spn fanart #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #spnfanart #wiggleart #just some doodles #I’ve been really into mid century art recently #I say recently but it’s always been a fascination of mine #also I want to make their faces more moveable #for whenever I get this new tablet and I can animate it’ll be easier #I also really wanted to play with shapes with them #in my head Cas is a circle dean is a square and Sam is a triangle lol #and sometimes with my art over the last two years I have gotten comments of like #oh is this dean or Cas bc the only difference sometimes was what coloring I did their #hair or that deans hair was pointy and shorter and Cas had his curly ish hair so #I’m like let’s play with squares and circles lol

[lovesickeros]

☆ lost in orbit

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings violence [ implied ], unhealthy relationship {☆} word count 0.6k

She had resigned herself to apathy – to burying her love beneath the cold, hard soil and letting it rot amongst the graves of a long dead civilization, burned to ash in only a day. Yet how quickly it all fell apart in her hands, slipping through her fingers like sand, no matter how desperately she tried to cling to it.

Was she not diligent enough? Was she so weak that she faltered at the first person who showed her genuine trust and affection? Had all her work been for naught?

A part of her revolts – the same woman who watched the sky burn and the ground beneath her feet crumble into ash. It would be so easy to wrap her hands around your delicate throat, to squeeze until you finally saw her as the monster she knew she has always been.

Yet she doesn't think she could. The look of betrayal, of fear..oh, it would ruin her, she knows.

Perhaps that makes her weak. Perhaps you have made her weak.

Perhaps she does not mind as much as she should.

You trust her, after all – enough to sleep in her bed like she couldn't just kill you before you ever knew what was happening to you. Your body was so..fragile, in this mortal shell you descended in. How easy it would be to snuff out your life, here and now.

Yet she doesn't.

Instead, she looks at you like an old lover – with all the love of a woman who had died in the ashes of a dying civilization, of a woman who thought she could love no longer. Emotions she fought so hard to suppress well up in her chest and fill the empty space where she knows her heart should beat. Try as she might – and oh, how she tries – she can never quite stem the affection that consumes her every waking moment when she sees you.

It is like an addiction that she cannot rid herself of, no matter how she tries. She always finds herself back at square one – back to you.

Her hand lingers against your cheek, undue affection filling the empty spaces in her chest until she feels like cannot breathe. She traces her hand along your jaw, her vision narrowed on the softness of your lips.

Yet that same thought rises unbidden to the forefront of her thoughts. Love was a dangerous thing – you both knew that. To let it fester and rot her from within..she would be throwing her plans out the window, and for what?

Because she was too weak? Because the affection and trust in your eyes whenever your looked at her made her feel whole, like she was more then just an Archon playing God with the fate of the world?

You do not even stir as her thoughts toil like a brewing storm. She swallows the lump in her throat, removing her hand like she'd just touched a piece of hot metal. A part of her still screams that it's for the best, that you've corrupted her enough, torn apart her plans in the span of a week, a mere blink in time..

But it goes silent as she leans in, pressing her lips to your cheek. She will not let the thought fester, tonight – she will let herself be weak, if only for another day. If only to covet the affection that she finds herself drowning in for just another day.

And when you stir, she pretends that she had never thought of it at all, that she has only ever known love with you. Even if her heart that does not beat leaves a stabbing pain in her chest in the agony of knowing that even this is futile..

She lets you wake, let's the recognition and the affection fill your vision until she is all you see – two stars locked in orbit, unable to break away.

And when the day comes that you collide, she will be holding the blade that drives into your chest, and she will know nothing but love when she does.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #tsaritsa #fellas is it gay to think abt murdering ur lover bc u love them so much #everyone hcing that her lover died in khaenri'ah but what if she killed them.. #tsaritsa killing her lover so they dont have to walk down the same path and suffer the consequences when celestia retaliates>>> #tsaritsa killing her lover bc to her them dying is better then living and she refuses to let them be corrupted by going down the same path #i just think shes a little silly!!! a little goofy!!!! i forgive her #theres just smth abt tragic lesbians and also tragic lesbians whose tragedy is one of their own making #yknow :) #but at the SAME TIME. her lover dying and wanting her to move on and LIVE but shes so spiteful shes willing to destroy herself to #destroy celestia. she doesnt care abt what happens to her bc if her lover isnt there with her then what does it matter? she has nothing lef #to lose. #characters who become their lover would hate bc living in a world without them is agony>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> #also i only tagged unhealthy relationship bc the tsaritsa is. unhinged but shes actually v normal in the relationship #she loves u!!!! and shes a good lover!!! she just thinks abt killing u sometimes bc she loves too much and its easier to kill u now vs lose #you later on where it will hurt WORSE #also bc smth smth she thinks itll make it hurt less if she kills you vs someone else bc she would actually LOSE IT if someone hurt u #spoilers it does not and she spirals and is haunted by what shes done and constantly tries to lie to herself to justify it. it does not wor #did i scare off the normal ppl w this one.......maybe!!!!! #i meant morally grey at best when i said morally grey at best!! #crawls back into my ditch okay im shutting up now

[natsmagi]

One of my least favourite Tsumugi misconceptions is that he's useless at being an idol. He's very good actually! It's pointed out multiple times in various stories by characters who are considered the top tier idols that Tsumugi is very good at his job, he's just also awkward and a bit clumsy off stage.

yea ! alot of misconceptions tend to stem from people getting a taste of the character in a certain context and then assume theyd be the same in different contexts when thats rarely the case. like just look at tsumugis romancing cruise performance That shit changed me forever

i do understand why this happens though, or why small misconceptions are rather frequent and inadvertently lead to mischaracterizations at times. often times we just take a surface level view at things and, naturally, observe what it is we see and compare it to things we already know. like i said in my last post tsumugi is bashful, not shy, but if people only see his more awkward demeanor around certain people theyre obviously going to assume thats the characteristic he has because thats what most of us are familiar with

i dont want people to feel insecure in their portrayals though !! q__q and youre free to be as self-indulgent as you want when u create ur little crafts as im sure many of us are using these characters as a means of our own self-expression. god knows i do it! but is it also not just as fun to truly dig into the character and to try figuring them out from an unbiased perspective ? again its why i dont want to put them into boxes!!! theres so much to them and by only focusing on one or two of their characteristics you are doing them a disservice!! youre free to exclusively PORTRAY your favorite aspects ofc, create for you and not for others! but i just want their complexities to be acknowledged and recognized 💔💔 though thats just one of my selfish little desires

#its esp difficult because sometimes the misconception will be a Veeery minor thing #so it makes it hard to pinpoint #or put into words why it feels Off #but all of this is also subjective and just because i personally feel the portrayal is inaccurate doesnt mean it objectively is #and maybe these people arent even aiming for an accurate portrayal!! sometimes they just wanna have fun and we should let them!!! #sometimes it is also good to recognize that some portrayals just arent for us #and to move on and find a space where you feel people get the character the same way you do #though thats easier said than done ive blocked like the entirety of enstars twt bc of this lol ASKJFAHSDKJG #it does suck a bit when u feel ppl dont get the character like u do but oh well........ create the content u wish to see in this world ig #ask

[pumpkinsouppe]

It breaks my heart that people think the hero of time’s story is just a tragedy

Ocarina of time is absolutely a tragedy, but Majora’s Mask is not

Majora’s Mask is one of the most hopeful pieces of media I’ve ever consumed. It has a bittersweet end, but you finish the game knowing that link will be okay, that he can and will survive on his own. Sure he had to leave his friends behind again, but he CHOSE to do that this time. He knew he couldn’t stay in Termina and he made the choice to be a child again.

I do not for a second believe his entire life is a tragedy, NOT after all of Majora’s Mask. The game specifically designed to be about healing and love. Idk where the theories that link died or became a child soldier (?????) came from but I feel like the entire message of Majora’s Mask was just completely lost on a ton of people 😭

#tiny rant bc sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who understands Majora’s mask 😭😭😭 #no I actually genuinely hate all the theories that link’s life went downhill after Majora’s mask #the entire story is about healing from grief and from wounds understanding your trauma #if link were to die or become a soldier that just spits on the entire message of the game #it spits on people going through similar experiences and tells them their life will never get better #THATS NOT THE MESSAGE AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! #the message is that things will be okay #life is hard now life will always be hard #but there are people who love and appreciate you and you are meaningful to this world #don’t let grief consume you #things will get easier one step at a time #I have so many positive thoughts and feelings about Majora’s Mask it’s genuinely such a great game #especially if you are also going through trauma or grief it really helped me understand my own feelings through both #tloz #Zelda souppe blurb

[snekdood]

Some of yall deeply underestimate how much some cis men are threatened by trans men and our masculinity. How theres so many cis dudes out there that want to rape us, thinking that will make us detransition. How many incels out there are mad at us for betraying womanhood and not sucking their dick. How much they want to force us to detransition, how much they want to kill us and force us into hiding which, to me, minus well be killing us since theyre smothering who we are for the sake of a status quo. We shake their fundamental understanding of the world. Its one thing for a GIRL to be a tomboy to them. They think its cute, like a baby pretending to be an adult. Its a whole other thing for someone percieved as a woman to try to actually be a man to them. They think thw fact we have the gal to assume we can escape their grasp, to escape the kitchen or whatever tf, means we're disrespecting them and trying to "destroy" them, rather than what it really is, us trying to be independent. We're the exact thing these types of cis men hate. Sometimes they tolerate (emphasis here bc im not saying they accept yall. Dont twist my words)trans women bc they fetishize them but they want to completely eradicate us becayse we threaten the patriarchy by virtue of deciding we dont need a man to take care of us, we want to be the man that takes care of ourselves.

#and bc ik how some of yall are on this site and how uncharitable you are let me be clear: just because they TOLERATE trans women/fems #sometimes. doesnt mean i think they actually respect you or see you as you. im not abot to say you somehow have it easier. they want to use #you and then dump your body somewhere. im well aware of that. but they *also* want to entirely entrap us and our identities and keep us #smothered with no escape. its why were seeing child marriage laws. its why were seeing anti abortion laws. its why we're seeing rights #stripped away from ppl wrongly percieved as women becayse theyre so threatened by us and how we think we can be on our own #that they have to try more extreme measures ro control us our bodies and self expression. its why candace owens goes on saying #'does women voting actually do any good for anyone??' #and no. entrapment isnt them somehow caring about us mlre than you. thats their alternative to killing us but its not an alternative bc it #fundamentally strips us of our rights and autonomy. and also. entrapping us and forcing us out of our gender. like i said. minus well be #killing us. its not likely we'll just get to run away free from these men if they get this type of power. its more likely they kill us for #even daring to betray them their values and words. #so how tf is anyone more privileged in this situation? in trans spaces? can we really fucking say someone has it worse rn. #is it really worth it to try to divide and weigh who has it worse. bc they want both os us dead for being who we are. #and its not like they dont offer yall an out to. its just their out is ALSO basically killing yourself bc they want you to conform to #cishet white manhood. #also it goes both ways. cis women are like this towards trans women. its the proximity effect. #where you get more upset with different people who are also more like you than other ppl #the difference i'd argue though is cis men- at least the ones in power- have more of an ability to remove us than cis women #like its easier for them to do.

[matchandelure]

realizing that all of the fictional characters i love the most can be sorted into three distinct categories: the one with questionable morals willing to do anything for the person they care for, and the one who’s just there to vibe but has no idea how to be a person because they were never taught how to, and the detective

#AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE SOMETIMES THEY WILL BE ALL THREE AND WHEN THAT DOES HAPPEN #I THINK ABOUT THEM FROM THE MOMENT I WAKE UP TO THE MOMENT I GO TO SLEEP #i will be makign breakfast and think hhhm i wonder how they would like their bagels #i will be sitting in class wondering whether calculus and linalg would come easier for them than it does for me #i wll be doing homework and will see the sunset and think huh those match their colours #i will pick an outfit for the day with the end goal of matching their energy for the day #genuinely cannot just. how do you like something without being so absorbed you actually cannot focus on anything else #i will log onto botw spend one night in rito village then be thinking about it for the rest of the day #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my schools on break now so im using the time that was allocated to studying for exams to #draw and play games and do nothing productive :'''( #willows rambling branch #im really happy though bc lately i got a few new clothing pieces that now let me coordinate outfits that match linhardt vibes #LIEK THIS PAIR OF JEANS THAT FLARE flair..(?) OUT AT THE BOTTOM BUT NOT RIDICULOUSLY LARGE LIKE BELLBOTTOMS #JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT AND THEY CREATE THE NICEST SILOUHETTE WHEN I WEAR MY HEELED BOOTS AND MATCH IT WITH A TIGHTER FITTING TURTLENECK ON T #OP AND WEAR A CARDIGAN OR OVERSIZED BLOUSE OVER IT #what do you mean university isnt a fashion show i wake up everyday so that i can wear my silly little outfits and attend my not so silly #calculus lectures and cs labs and econ lectures and stupid weekly mditerms

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ever sit like a corpse in your own body? #im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we #deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to #give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway. #who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in #the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when #projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing #dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will #ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do #something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r #stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even #then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a #broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what? #lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything #done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i #think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with #thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno #whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is #hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse #but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday #unrelated

[lastoneout]

sometimes I don't think I could be autistic and/or like all that neurodivergent and then other times my fiancé makes a practical and logical argument as to why we don't need a tiny colander that's too small for most tasks and that to save space in the sink/cabinets I should learn to use the medium sized one and honestly we should probably just get rid of the small one and I am filled with such an immense rush of panic and discomfort and grief that I can't even explain it properly until I am saying shit like "the tiny colander is my friend" and "using the big one just FEELS wrong, you know, like going to albertsons instead of safeway" and "next you're gonna tell me I have to use the big soup spoons instead of the little ones and I'll pass away" and I can tell while he does love me and isn't actually mad he def thinks I'm being super illogical and can't fully understand why

like yes I KNOW I am being illogical I am well aware of that...however!! If things are different I will die and if I have to get rid of object that is my friend I will ALSO die, and the only explanation I have is "I like to have things a very specific way even if it doesn't make sense or is less convenient or wastes time and space and changing it is REALLY hard I can't just go "oh you're right" and then change it just doesn't work like that" which is like.....not a great explanation I don't think but that's literally all I've got so???

and like this is legit the only thing we ever "argue" over(bcs we aren't actually fighting we're just talking) it's just him being like "hey the way you do things is inefficient and doesn't make a lot of sense, wouldn't it be easier/make more sense to do it this way?" and then me scrambling to try to articulate "that's fair, but this is the way I do things, I can't change that" in a way that doesn't make me sound dismissive or insane or something which doesn't really seem to work all that well, or like...isn't really getting what I mean across correctly at the very least

#my fiancé is wonderful and we weren't actually fighting #I just have like....I have a certain WAY I prefer to do thing and and specific things I use to do them #and using OTHER things even if they are basically the same #feels like he's asking me to cut my arm off #like he tries to logic his way out of things and I'm like yes I understand the logic #and then he's like 'okay so you're going to do it this way then?' #and I'm like 'no I can't I'll die' #so idk my brain don't work right or something #and I feel bad too bcs like he has to deal with the consequences of me being like this too #like he only brought it up cuz having to do an extra dish is annoying and I agree!! that must suck #and so I want to change to make his life easier... #but using a different collander feels like wearing my jeans inside out #it's not the end of the world but it does SUCK and my brain REALLY does not want to let me do it #I usually do try to accomodate when he points out a different way for me to do things #especially if it like actually makes sense to me I def try to do those ones cuz I agree #but sometimes when it's little stuff I get just a little offended and sad cuz it's like... #is it really such a big deal if I do things in a way that doesnt make sense? #it's so exhausting to try to change #and I'm already trying to deal with my depression and trauma #I don't think I can take not using the small colander even if it doesnt make sense

[silvatrice]

this is a confession……. sometimes when i’m reading avatrice fanfiction i accidentally picture kit & jade instead

#i don’t know WHY #maybe bc they’re fresh on my mind after the finale IDK #and it’s fine for a moment but like bestie this isn’t what #i am trying to COPE here #actually i think it’s bc avatrice and tanthamore are very similar #like bea & jade especially are SO similar but jade is more.. forward so it’s easier to picture sometimes #and kit & ava are similar kit is just a bit more serious and less feminine #i love them both i just sometimes i’m like hold ON tanthamore i’ll GET THERE let my babies have their TIME #avatrice #tanthamore

[dcviline]

the fandom discourse has circled back to “Cersei does love her children and is a great & unselfish mother actually” and honestly I might meta about it again at some point bc it irks me how much people insist on whitewashing her character. You can’t say you appreciate Cersei as a character and then erase her bad traits 😭

I will say show Cersei and book Cersei are two completely separate characters in terms of motivations / actions / etc but before I scream let me just drop this snippet and run

#abuse tw #᯽ ooc. ⊱ ── ❝ 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘪. ❞ #the physical abuse ain’t enough for yall????? #what about her attempts to isolate her children from others to their own detriment all for the sake of having control over them??? #what about the fact that no reading something from her POV is not an unbiased look at her motivations #and the things Cersei tells herself about ‘doing everything for her children’ are just how she justified her own bullshit to herself #because it doesn’t matter what she tells herself in her mind her actions are NOT for their benefit #they are for the sake of her own control #yeah she loves her children but not in the *right* way #because she does not understand the right way to love them. love to her IS control. #there have been literal psychologists doing essays on this character and how she exhibits symptoms of narcissistic abuse #but yeah let’s ignore that all to make her easier to digest huh #I’m saying this as someone who fucking loves Cersei as a character #once again im pointing at the sign that says sometimes a villain is just a villain even if they have understandable motivations #that’s the point of complexity you don’t have to forcefully redeem them all in some way I am ripping my hair #also let me make it clear that having a personality disorder or symptoms of one =\= being evil #it’s her actions that make her the villain not her mental state bc she is actively harming others for her own benefit #does this make sense? I hope it makes sense I’m fucking tired and hungry lmao #I will make another actual meta at some point but brain too small right now

[iinmysights]

everybody praise me i just got through a 2hr dentist appointment i didn't cry ONCE!!!!!

#Ravage.txt #dl maybe #fr though i'm proud of myself! i had one yesterday and it ended in a panic attack so :) this was an improvement #cried once halfway through. cried again as we were scheduling the first of two cavity fillings (separate sides). cried again in the car. #cried again at home for about 20mins before i could pull myself together enough to open a fun etsy package and watch videos #with a LOTTT of freakout emotions in between. but this time i was still nervous but it was made easier bc the dentists were super nice and #understanding and let me put in my earbuds for the vast majority of the work (sometimes they had to ask me stuff so i'd take them out then) #and i just BLASTED metal. hope they enjoyed the mini concert because i am CERTAIN that it was loud enough for them to hear it over the mini #drills. i also got the laughing gas stuff but tbh i know how i felt before they put it on and while it was on and then off and there was 0 #effect. 0!!! but i didn't say SHIT bc what if i start feeling loopy??? i hateee not feeling like i'm fully present due to drugs/alcohol/etc #so i didn't say shiiit. mouth's still a bit numb but i can drink and eat just fine. won't be like that next time!!!!! (<- has to numb BOTH #SIDES OF MY FACE WHY COULDN'T THEY DO ALL THE LEFT AT ONCE)

[orcelito]

Revealing myself as a 98 vashmeryl truther by how I write vash and meryl's interactions in itnl

#speculation nation #itnl shit #THEYRE JUST SO FUNNY and i love them 😭😭😭😭 #so yes this is a trimax fic but i am just gonna. push my 98 agenda for their relationship hfkdhfj Just a little #idk their dynamic is just more Present in the anime than in the manga. and it works for the setup i have so There. #also yes this is a vashwood fic IM ALLOWED to enjoy other dynamics too #toeing the line a little bit on the slight undertones but nothing will come of it #i. plan to have an acknowledgement in this chapter. chapter 13 #vash makes a joke that could be interpreted as flirty and she's basically like 'Dont Deflect. you dont see me like that anyways.' #vash realizing that Yeah there kind of is a dynamic there. but also hes so focused on wolfwood he wouldnt wanna lead her on #it's like. this is just kinda part of being an adult ykno lol like #sometimes you have feelings for your friends and you can acknowledge it even & if youre mature enough about it it's Fine #he'll let her believe he has 0 possible interest in her bc it's easier that way. for both of them. #he doesnt want her to get her hopes up. doesnt wanna lead her on. #and YEAH MAYBE IM A POLYGUN TRUTHER I THINK ALL 4 OF THEM WOULD BE GREAT TOGETHER #for the purposes of this fic im keeping it to just the vashwood #but i cant resist... a lil sprinkle here and there...... #like them meeting with a goddamned meet cute & then vash subsequently being an Asshole by getting her hopes up & then dipping #thats like. the vibes. thats the thing. vash realizing he needs to nip this in the bud bc he Cant be what she wants him to be. #im just. man. i have some Thoughts about this all. #if you couldnt guess vash & meryl r having some relationship development this chapter. im excited !!!! #they Will be friends!!!!!!! soon.

[toastsnaffler]

fuck I forgot we have a landlord inspection today so I can't take a nap... god I can't hang around the flat I don't want to be here for that 😭😭

#ykw. i might go pick up that parcel bc itll keep me out of this place for 4+ hours and by then theyll def have been and gone #my head hurts and im too tired to play videogames or draw but i cant take a nap if im waiting for them to show so #plus sometimes its easier to do all the tasks i rly dont want to in one day lol. minmaxxing strats #and i can read on the train so. whatever lets just go #.diaries

[volfoss]

if i can get thru most of act 2 (its only 5 main quests) today thatll be really good for the me community that is so scared and terrified. but also i really think i will def surpass 130 pages today w how long each mission gets story content wise. i stay brave tho ok i promise

#twist rambles #♟ #rly contemplating having a silly let me assign u a beast from this game ask game. look at my creatures boy. or something. i wanna try and #get 2-3 story missions done. you might say that doesnt seem like a lot but it is when u have to pretty much go line by line. and sometimes #the plot sections go on for FOREVER. which is agonizing i think. for me. esp when i know the erm. well the horrors incoming #thankfully chris is taking the worst route bc he loves and cares me and so then i dont have to well. be the one doing the evil and mean #actions. i just have to watch him do them and type it up. which is a lot easier. but anywyas. grind time today.