#and maybe even slightly different pre s3

[lasshoe]

top 5 moments you thought t/r were actually gonna happen (yes im evil!)

you're so wrong for this

truthfully i always thought if they would get together it would be at the eleventh hour in the last episode but there were a few the times i dared to even think i was about to be pleasantly shocked

when the ted and rebecca movie night still dropped for 311 i thought it might be the episode

this fraction of a millisecond of ted in rebecca's kitchen as documented

the moment she came to him in the stands in the finale. not during the scene but specifically seeing her standing there

when ted was on the plane and started questioning if they were doing the right thing going back

and because of my dedication to clownery, even when ted got back to kansas i still thought we could be getting the parent trap ending and rebecca was going to be there 😀😀😀

ask me top 5 anything 💛

#even in 1 through 4 i thought they'd kiss at the last possible second #but that those would be moments where Things Shifted in the Direction if that makes sense #if you would have asked me post s1 pre s2 these would have been different #and maybe even slightly different pre s3 #mrgaretcarter #answered

[harringtonstilinski]

Be My Forever Valentine? - Eddie Munson

Author: @harringtonstilinski​ Characters: Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader Word Count: 4,141 Warnings: fluff, using the scene with chrissy in the woods again, set in '85, Requested: no | yes; I hope this meets your expectations, @fandom-princess-forevermore Smut: no | yes; A/N: Hi, friends! So, as stated in the warnings above, this is set in 1985, when Eddie went through his second Senior year. Pre Vecna, but right before the Mind Flayer & Russian stuff in S3. Also, Lucas and Mike have older brothers in this, and Reader is referred to as "kid" by Steve and "sweetness" by Eddie. BYE! If you like this, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox. As always, read at your own risk and enjoy 😊

eddie munson masterlist

eddie munson playlist

Valentine’s Day. Not the best holiday to celebrate, in your opinion. Mainly because… you never had anyone to celebrate with. No one had ever asked you to be their Valentine, no one stuck any secret admirer notes in your locker. Not even a platonic Valentine. The holiday just sucked for you.

You sighed, walking your way to your locker after fifth period, lunch break starting as you got to your locker, twisting in your combination and opening the door, a letter falling to the bottom.

With a confused look, you put last period's book into its designated slot before grabbing the letter and opening it, reading the words scribbled on the page.

Meet me at the picnic table after school.

You looked around at who would’ve shoved it in your locker, but you couldn’t see anyone. Spotting your best friend, you sighed as he walked over. “What do you want, Steve?”

Completely ignoring your question, Steve looked at your hands, smiling a little. “What’cha got there?”

Looking back down at the letter furrowed brows, you answered, “I’m not really sure. Maybe a…-” You looked back up at Steve, deadpan expression on your face. “- a letter.”

“Secret admirer?” he asked, leaning his arm against the lockers next to yours. 

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“What does it say?”

Taking another look at the letter in your hands, you read the written words back to Steve, a knowing smile on his face. He saw this secret admirer shove the letter into your locker as soon as fifth period ended.

“Should I… go?” you asked, a little hesitantly.

Nodding his head in a nonchalant way, he looked at you with a small smile on his face. “Yeah, you deserve it.”

Taking a deep breath, you said, “Just..-” Releasing it, you closed your eyes as you continued your words. “-...don’t mean to the poor guy.”

“Okay,” Steve replied. “You got it.”

“Thanks,” you said, giving him a hug. “Oh, and Happy platonic Valentine’s Day, Stevie.”

“You, too, kid.”

Turning to walk towards the cafeteria, you looked at the doors with the smallest amount of confidence and the smallest smile you could give yourself. Walking in the big room, you took a deep breath, making your way towards the table your other best friend sat at.

You weren’t a part of Hellfire, more of an honorary member. Eddie made sure of that. The two of you had become friends after being paired up for a book report in English class during his first year as a Senior. A crush inevitably grew on Eddie, your heart racing almost every time you saw him, and today was no different.

Sitting down on his left, you sighed, looking at the note still in your hand, gaining his attention.

With furrowed brows, he looked at you before looking down at the paper in your hands, slightly stiffening for a moment before quietly clearing his throat. “W-what’s that?” He cursed himself, inwardly at his small stutter.

Shaking your head, you folded the paper back up, setting it on the table. “A note, I guess. I found it in my locker just now.”

“What’s it say?” Eddie asked as he opened the magazine in his hands.

With the smirk you were trying to hide, you looked at him and said, “I’m not telling you. It’s from a secret admirer.” With raised brows, the older male looked at you with what could only be described as a flirtatious smile. “Oooohhh, a secret admirer, huh? You lucky girl.”

Giggling, you brought one of your feet up to rest on the chair, your leg bent at the knee, your laced fingers meeting at the top of your shoes. “The funny thing is… is that I wasn’t expecting it. Like, every year I see these girls with either flowers, or teddy bears with balloons attached, or even those heart packages with the random filled chocolates inside. No one’s ever done that for me.”

As the rest of the group sat down in their spots, Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off of you as he swallowed his nerves, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down with the movement. “Well, whoever gave you that must really like you, then.”

Looking at the folded paper on the table, you softly sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

Your eyes stayed locked on Eddie’s for a moment before Shawn’s laughter brought you both out of your moment. Casting your eyes down at the magazine, you cleared your throat. “What’s that say?”

Eddie picked up the magazine, eyes reading the words on the pages with a deep, dramatic voice. “The Devil has come to America. Dungeons and Dragons, at first regarded as a harmless game of make-believe, now had both parents and psychologists concerned. Studies have linked violent behavior to the game, saying it promotes satanic worship, ritual sacrifice, sodomy, suicide, and even…-” He slammed the magazine down, making you jump a little before he said, “-... murder.”

“Don’t fucking do that again,” you breathed.

Reaching his hand to your knee under the table, he whispered, “Sorry,” before looking at Shawn, Bobby and Pauly, sharing a laugh. 

What struck you as odd was the fact that Eddie’s hand didn’t move from your knee for a good two minutes while he chatted with his friends before hesitantly removing it. A part of you was sad about the fact that he moved his hand. 

Two trays slamming down next to you made you jump, Mark and Danny sitting in their seats next to you. “Jesus H.,” you said, looking at Danny. “Don’t. Fucking. Do. That. Again.” “O-okay,” he stuttered. 

You weren’t the scariest or meanest person in the group. Being the only girl simply just gave the vibe that you were. If anything, you were shy, kept to yourself, always had your nose stuck in a book. So, when you were stern and cussing like you did a moment ago, the scary vibe was there.

Turning back to Eddie, you played with a corner of your letter, saying, “Well… society has to blame something. You guys are an easy target.” “You’re in this group, too,” Pauly said in more of a question.

“She’s an honorary member,” Eddie said, crossing his arms. He took a moment to get himself back on topic. “Exactly, Pauly. We’re the freaks because we like to play a fantasy game. But–”

As he went to stand up, you watched him, eyes following him as he stood to his full height. “You’re not gonna do anything stupid and embarrassing, are you?”

“Embarrassing?” Bobby asked. “Says the girl who’s friends with King Steve.”

“Shut up, Bobby,” you said, taking a piece of Danny’s corn and throwing it at Bobby.

Eddie’s foot on the table had your attention back on him as he stood on top of it, whispering, “Focus, love,” before shouting, “As long as you’re into band, or science, or parties–” 

You looked over at the party table, seeing one of the guys flipping Eddie off before your best friend cupped his mouth to shout, “Or a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!”

Protests sounded across the cafeteria, someone shouting, “Loser,” had you standing from your own seat, standing where your ass was previously occupying. “Shut up, Johnson!” Watching as Steve’s co-captain stood from his seat, you pointed your finger and said, “Don’t do it, Charlie!”

Completely ignoring you, he asked Eddie, “You want something, freak?” to which Eddie responded by bringing the backs of his hands up to his head, index fingers pointing up and making a humorous demonic sound from his mouth, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he did. 

You sat down back down, your leg back in its previous position and Eddie turned around to walk back down the table, saying, “It’s forced conforming. That’s what’s–” before jumping off the table to shout, “Killing the kids!!” at a teacher, bowing not a few seconds later with his arm out to let a couple of cheerleaders pass by. “That’s the real monster.”

Eddie sat down, taking a pretzel from the bag to pop it into his mouth before readching into his lunchbox, handing you a ziploc bag of Doritos as Danny said, “So, uhh, speaking of monsters, uhh, Sam had to do his, uhh, balls-in-laundry-baskets game. So…” He started chuckling as you looked at Eddie, the boy's eyes on his laughing friend as Danny continued, “He’s not gonna be able to make it to Hellfire tonight. And I know there’s no way we can beat your sadistic campaign without him. So me and Mark, we were talking, shooting the shit, and we were thinking that maybe tonight we…”

Looking back at Eddie as Danny stuttered, you could tell he was going to be angry with whatever they were asking. You had sat with Eddie in his room while he was writing the newest campaign for that night’s game, the boy pacing his room dramatically as he read to you what he’d written, scratching things out or adding things in, giving your opinion when needed.

“Postpone,” Mark said, which caused everyone but you and Eddie to go into an uproar.

“Postpone? You can’t just drop this on us!” Bobby said, Pauly’s voice rang over everyone’s as he said, “Over my dead body!”

“Shut up!” Eddie shouted, causing you to flinch again, his knee touching yours. 

Shawn groaned, his eyes casted towards Eddie, the dungeon master saying, “You saying Sinclair’s been taken in by the dark side?”

“Uh, something like that?” Mark questioned.

“Something like that?” Eddie repeated, throwing the pretzel that was in his hand at the oldest Wheeler boy.

“Jesus Christ,” you and Danny muttered.

“And rather than find a sub for him, you want… you to postpone the Cult of Vecna?” your best friend asked.

Defending himself, Mark said, “I-I don’t want to postpone it. We don’t want to postpone it, it’s just that–”

Eddie’s knee leaving yours had a pang of sadness filling you as he got up from the table, the chair scratching the floor under him as he pushed it away, his body facing the windows.

“Most of the subs will be at the championship game?” Mark continued.

“Oh, it’s the championship game?” you and Eddie asked, your tone more shocked than Eddie’s.

“Yeah?”

“Can I level with you? Henderson and Bobby both graduate this year, Shawn’s got, what, a year a half? Me; I am army-crawling my way toward a D in Ms. O’Donnell’s. If I don’t blow her final-”

“I told you I’ll help you stu-,” you interrupted, only for Eddie to continue his words by saying, “I’m gonna walk that stage next month, I gonna look Principal Higgins deeeeead in the eye, I’m gonna flip him the bird, I’m gonna snatch that diploma and I’m gonna run like hell outta here!”

“Didn’t you say that last year?” you and Shawn asked.

“Yeah, yeah, and I was full of shit. This year’s different. This year is my year. I can feel it.” Eddie looked right at you and said, “ ‘85, baby.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up at the pet name before you blinked a couple times, saying, “You know what that means?” Walking towards the table, slowly, Eddie said, “Not what I’m probably thinking.”

Crossing your arms with an amused look, you countered, “And what would that be, Edward?”

“It means that these boys…-,” he started, coming to squat in between Danny and Mark, his hand on their shoulders, his right hand skimming your own shoulder every time he moved. “-... are the future of Hellfire. I knew the moment I saw them. They sat on that table right over there, looking like…”

“Two little lost little sheep?” you asked.

Eddie’s eyes locked with yours as he said, “Exactly.” Looking at Danny, he said, “You were wearing a Weird Al t-shirt, which I thought was brave.” Turning his head to look at Mark, he added, “Mark, you were wearing whatever shit your mommy bought you from the goddamn Gap.”

The boys laughed for a moment as you giggled before Eddie yanked them up from their seats, their laughter subsiding as yours turned into a chuckle as Eddie stood with Danny and Mark, turning to his left to add, “And we showed you that school didn’t have to be the worst years of your lives, right?”

They both said their no’s, Eddie agreeing with them while adding, “Well, I’m here to tell you that there are other little lost sheepies out there who need help. Who need… you.” Turning them around to face him, Eddie looked at each of them as he added, “And all you guys gotta do… is get your Bo-Peep’s on and go and find one.”

After Eddie pushed them away, he turned and locked eyes with you, smiling softly before coming back to the table, to sit at his spot at the end, stealing a Dorito from your bag, giving you a pretzel in return before you could steal one for yourself.

Yeah, your crush on Eddie just grew tenfold. 

~~~

The last period of the day seemed to drag on and on, the teacher acting like they didn’t want to be there anymore, most of the class either sleeping or daydreaming. You were reading the letter over and over again, trying to almost decode it, in a way. 

As you were studying the writing, you tried to remember where you’ve the handwriting before. When you almost had it figured out, the bell rang to signal the end of the school day. Once you exited the classroom, you went straight to your locker, Steve leaning against the one next to you with his arms folded across his chest.

“Twice in one day? I’m a lucky girl,” you teased, putting in your combination and opening the door. 

As you put your book and notebook back into your locker, Steve said, “Heck yeah! I have to see my best girl!”

“Uh-huh, sure,” you chuckled. After grabbing your crossbody purse, you pulled the strap over your head to rest on your shoulder, closing the locker door. “Got a hot date tonight?”

“Nah,” Steve said. “I mean, not if you count popcorn, a movie and whatever girl randomly shows up tonight for a good fu-”

“Aright, there, loverboy,” you interrupted, patting his arm as the two of you walked out of the back doors. “I don’t need to hear about your sexual adventures.”

You both chuckled as you looked ahead of you, seeing the tree lines to the woods. Sighing, you reached your hand back, putting your hand in your pocket, the folded paper rustling on your palm. “I guess I should go.”

Steve put his arm around you, saying, “Don’t be nervous. You might actually like who shows up.”

You turned to Steve, giving him a hug before pulling back, your hands resting on his shoulders as you said, “Happy Platonic Valentine’s Day, Stevie.”

“You, too, kid,” he smiled. Turning you towards the woods, he chuckled before saying, “Now go!”

Chuckling, you started walking off towards the woods, your nerves starting to show as you made your way to the picnic table that you knew was sitting there. Standing by the table, you enjoyed the breeze of the wind, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

The sound of a branch snapping pulled you out of your little moment, your eyes flying open. A squirrel running across some leaves had your anxiety levels spiking a little, your feet moving backwards before you even realized.

You had only backed up a few steps before you crashed into someone, your back meeting their chest as you screamed out.

“Wow, sweetness, it’s me!”

When the voice hit your ears, you instantly recognized it as being Eddie’s. You turned to look at him, a hand on your chest as he rested one hand on your upper arm.

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Don’t do that,” you breathed, reaching your own hand up to rest on his shoulder, your head tilted forward.

“Sorry,” Eddie repeated. He stepped forward, bringing his arms around your shoulders with your own arms going around his middle, cheek pressed into his chest as his scent filled your senses. “Come on. Let’s go sit.”

The both of you moved to the picnic table, he went to one side as you went to the other. Deciding to act on impulse, you removed the letter from your pocket and threw it on the table. As you stared at it, you thought about the handwritten words inside.

“Hey, Eds?” you asked.

He hummed in acknowledgement as he sat down across from you. “What’s up, sweetness?”

“Do you ever feel like… you’re losing your mind?” You looked up at him from the paper, two chocolate eyes already on yours. “And… be honest.., Eds.”

“Uhm, ya’know, just on a daily basis,” he responded, a smile tugging at his lips. “I mean, I feel like I’m losing my mind right now, sitting here with my amazingly beautiful best friend.”

Yeah, your cheeks definitely heated up at his statement as he tapped the table a couple of times. 

“Even though we’re best friends and hang out all the time, that book report last year wasn’t the first time we’ve, uhm… hung out,” Eddie said.

“No?” you asked, a confused look covering your features.

“You don’t remember?”

“Ed, I think I would remember the first time we– oh my god!” Your words were cut off by Eddie pretending to stab himself in the heart, his back hitting the ground.

As he stood, he said, “I wouldn’t remember me either, sweetness.” He turned around to face you, brushing his fingers through his hair as he asked, “Do I have something in my hair?”

You laughed as he turned to face you, his arms crossing as he asked, “You don’t remember me?”

“Before the book report? I-” you chuckled. “I’m trying to think, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Looking down at the ground for a moment, Eddie said, “Middle School, talent show. Back when you were a cheerleader, you were doing your cheer thing. Ya’know, the… the thing you did.” He raised his arms in a cheerleader type way.”

You giggled as he continued, “It was pretty cool, actually. And I… I was with the band.”

“Corroded Coffin!” you exclaimed.

He punched his palm as he turned around, starting to say the band's name before pointing at you, saying, “I knew you remembered, sweetness.”

“Well, with a name like that how could I forget?” you said, laughing at the end.

“I don’t know,” he said. “You’re a freak.”

“Hanging out with you long enough, I turned into one.” 

The two of you smiled at each other, your fingers grazing the folded paper once again. You wanted to ask him about it, but decided against it for the time being, enjoying the moment you were having with him.

“Back then, you looked so–”

“Different?” Eddie interrupted. “Yeah, well, my head was buzzed and I didn’t have these sweet ol’ tatties yet.” He pulled his shirt to the side, showing part of his skull head and spider tattoos on his chest.

“I remember you just jamming on your guitar that day,” you said, eyes casting from his to the paper in front of you.

“You know I still do, sweetness. You haven’t watched us play in a while. You know we play at The Hideout on Tuesdays.”

“With your crowd of about five drunks?”

He winked at you as he said, “You know it.”

“I mean, The Hideout isn’t exactly the Garden, but you gotta start somewhere, right?”

Smiling at you, Eddie said, “One day, when we’re playing the Garden, you’re gonna be there. Right by my side. Cheering me on.”

Chuckling, you nodded your head. “You know it, Eds.” You thought about your next words for a moment, enjoying the small but comfortable silence that fell between the two of you. “Ya’know… you weren’t at all what I thought you’d be before we got partnered up for the book report. You looked so –”

Grabbing a small piece of his hair, he moved it in front of his mouth as he said, “Mean and scary?”

All you could do was nod, a small smile tugging at your lips as you tried to hide it. 

“Yeah, well, because you’re friends with The Hair, I actually thought you’d be kinda mean and scary, too.” He walked back to the table, placing his hands on the table top.

“Me?” you asked, a little confused. 

“Terrifying,” he smiled, sitting down on the bench.

Scoffing, you tossed your head back with a laugh. “I have my nose stuck in a book half of the time! I’m even remotely in the same category as mean and scary.”

“Yeah, well, your flattery worked with me.”

Tilting your head to the side a little, you couldn’t help but smile at your best friend. You cast your eyes down to the table again, your orbs finding the folded paper. With furrowed brows, you reached for it, holding it between two fingers.

When your eyes found Eddie’s again, you noticed his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, so you asked the question that’s been on your mind for the last two hours. “Did you put this in my locker?”

“I - uhh -”

“Edward Munson,” you warned. “Tell me the truth.”

Sighing, he hung his head down, his chin meeting his chest before releasing a deep breath. “Fine.” Picking his head up, he looked at you. “Yes. I did.”

“Why didn’t you just ask me to meet you here at lunch? Like you sometimes do?”

Taking another deep breath, Eddie released it, saying, “I thought it’d be more romantic.”

Confused, you looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Why would it be-” Then it hit you. Like a bus. Since your hand had dropped a couple of inches, you raised your hand back up, the note swaying as you did. “You’re my secret admirer?”

Eddie stood and shrugged, turning his back towards you.

“Why?” you whispered.

“Why what?” he asked. Turning to face you again, you saw a pang of hurt in his eyes. “Why I ended up falling for my best friend? Why I couldn’t tell you that every time your nose is stuck in your books, I look over and smile at you? I couldn’t tell you that I’ve been falling for you since I first saw you on the first day of my Sophomore year.”

You watched as he moved around the table to sit next to you, your eyes locked on each other’s as he gathered his next words.

With a soft voice, he said, “I couldn’t tell you that all I think about at night before I fall asleep is your lips on mine, my arms around you as you rest your head on my chest, falling asleep peacefully. I couldn’t tell you how in love with you I am, sweetness.”

Turning your face away from him, you sighed, wanting to tell him that his feelings were reciprocated. Feeling like you couldn’t, you closed your eyes before feeling his finger and thumb on your chin, a gentle touch that set your skin on fire. 

Eddie turned your face back towards him, his eyes dancing between yours. “Don’t turn away from me, baby. I know you feel the same way.”

Taking a sharp intake of breath, you opened your mouth, asking, “How?”

With a smirk playing on his lips, he softly chuckled. “Because you wouldn’t be here with me right now.”

Your own smirk appeared on your lips, your eyes lowering to his shirt, looking at a random spot on the cotton material. Feeling his hand cupping your cheek, you looked back up at him, eyes moving to look at his lips. “I very much would like to kiss you.”

“Good,” Eddie whispered. “ ‘Cause I was gonna do it. Ya’know… to test the waters.” As you giggled, he leaned forward at the same time you did, your lips gently pressing to each other, testing the waters.

It didn’t take long for the gentle kiss to turn into a passionate one; lips moving in sync, small smacks sounding between the two of you as you pulled apart slightly, only to dive back in. Unfortunately, you denied him access when his tongue swept across your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

“Mmm,” you hummed. “Not there yet.”

Eddie understood as he placed one last chaste kiss to your lips. Moving his hand to cup the side of your neck, he smiled that playful smile that had you weak in the knees.

“What?” you giggled.

“I just have one last question.”

You gave him eyes that said proceed.

“Be my forever valentine?”

The laugh that sounded from you had his smile growing, a chuckle sounding from him as you gave your answer.

“Duh.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 2:  hi, friends! i tried to figure out if i wanted to age dustin up a year, but realized i'd have to age mike and lucas up, too. so, i had to add two different characters into the cafeteria scene, BUT just think of dustin and mike...? let me know what you thought! again, please do not hesitate to reblog and give some feedback, whether it be in the reblogs, comments, or my inbox.

Additional Notes: i'm trying to add the character masterlists onto all my one-shots from here on out! let me know if it makes it easier for y'all to back and choose what to read!

~~~

Forever / Everything Taglist: @stiles-o-dylan24 @stixnstripesworld @fandom-princess-forevermore @quanticobae @mischiefandi @kellyashcroft @lauren-novak​

If you’re tagged and didn’t want to be, please let me know.

Italics wouldn’t let me tag!

~~~

*Please don’t post my writing anywhere else without my consent. The author of this work will always and forever be @harringtonstilinski​.

All characters, story lines, and plot aside from y/n and her storyline & plot, are all of the work of The Duffer Brothers.

*These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited.

No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher.

Posted on February 15, 2024 *Happy late Valentine's Day!*

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x henderson!reader #joseph quinn x reader

[cosmal]

Lipgloss | Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary :: You and Steve hate each other, right? Maybe after you both come to a realisation, the both of you finally admit how you feel towards each other at a Hawkins house party.

Warnings/Tags :: post s3, pre s4, drinking, partying, swearing, reflection moment at the end ib a fanart I saw awhile ago!

Steve Harrington, was the most egotistical, selfish, narcissistic, man you had ever had the displeasure of associating yourself with. Which was exactly why you were in love with him, right?

It started off when you were at school. You never really had anything to do with him, but you knew of him. Knew how rude and annoying he seemed. Especially when he was surrounded by his friends.

You had heard the story of how he broke Jonathan Byers' camera. You almost could've punched him square in the jaw when Nancy told you the story. You hated bullies, and you hated him.

Slightly.

But, that was almost three years ago, and the two of you had left school and you both had become completely different people. After everything with the Upside Down, and the Russians, Steve had become such a hard-shelled, but loving person. You watched as he formed a bond with the kids, Robin and Nancy, which only changed him into the kind, strong-willed man he was today.

You, however, changed to be even stronger than you were before everything that happened. At school, you were slightly reserved, always usually watching everything from the sidelines. Not shy, but just hidden. But you could get very hotheaded at times, especially when you were angry with Steve.

But, after witnessing things you'd never even imagined seeing, it changed you for the better. The once voiceless person you had grown to be, had disappeared and grown into the powerful woman you were now.

But no matter how strong you thought you were, your one and only weakness was the new and improved Steve Harrington. He was everything you'd ever wanted, and you hated admitting that to yourself because the both of had spent so many years hating each other, well that's what you assumed, anyway.

You found yourself never changing your ways though, because it was easier to pretend to hate him still, rather than truly admitting to yourself that you had grown to fall in love with the man you swore you would never even get along with.

But to be quite honest, pretending each day was getting harder and harder for you.

-

"Have you seen my shoes?" Robin had been pacing the hallway between your bathroom and bedroom for the past thirty minutes, flustered and stressing over her outfit choice.

The three of you were getting ready for a party that one of your old school friends was throwing. You were all excited to have some fun after how things had been going in Hawkins. Even though the Mind Flayer had been destroyed and everything had been back to normal for a couple of months, you hadn't had actual fun with your friends since before then.

"Which ones?"

"My red chucks." She fiddled with the earing she was trying to push through the hole in her earlobe.

"You left them at Steve's remember?" Nancy called from around the corner, as she checked over herself in front of your mirror, adjusting the necklace around her neck. She looked absolutely stunning, of course.

"Shit!" Robin almost pulled at her hair before she realised she had styled it the way she wanted it, after fiddling with it for almost thirty minutes.

"Robin, it's okay. Calm down, yeah?" You tried to soothe the flustered girl as you threw on your own shoes, sitting on the edge of your bed.

"No! Vickie will be there and I'm planning on looking good, okay?" She opts on pulling your red converse from your shoe rack instead, almost putting her stressed mind at ease.

"Don't leave your shit everywhere then, huh?" You playfully scold her, finishing up with your laces.

"Yeah well, it's Steve's fault anyways." She grumbled.

"Speaking of Steve," You interject, a curious look in your eyes, "Will he be there?"

"If I say yes, will you still come?" Nancy frowns, throwing her bag over her shoulder, heading towards the door.

"Uh yeah..." You tried not to smile at Nancy's reply, deadpanning at her now happy face. To be honest, you had dressed up a little more than you usually did, hoping Steve would actually be there.

"Good."

-

The three of you walked up the cobblestone path, trying not to trip over the litter of red cups and empty beer bottles. Robin almost rolling her ankle on a long-forgotten beer pong ball. Passing a couple on the front lawn making out, you enter in through the open front door.

The familiar smell of stale pizza and tequila is an awful one at that, though you couldn’t lie it was one you had shamelessly missed. You had grown to like parties and all the fun memories they held. Ever since finding the right group of friends, the disdain you held for them had disappeared.

“Here you go,” Steve comes out of nowhere, startling the three of you backwards almost out the door. He held three plastic cups in his hands, his own drink pinched between his teeth, slightly mumbling his words.

Robin and Nancy willingly accepted their drinks from Steve, leaving him to take his cup from his mouth, one last drink in his hand. You raise your eyebrow at him, not stopping yourself from raking your eyes down his body. He was clad in black pants, a white top tucked into the waistband, sleeves clinging to his toned arms. A pair of black sunnies hanging from the neck of his shirt, the weight of them pulling it down slightly, exposing the small patch of hair on his chest.

Your mouth ran dry. “Hello? Earth to idiot?” A blur of red disrupts your selfish daze, bringing your attention back to the drink Steve was trying to put in your clammy hand.

“Sorry,” You all but stutter, taking it from his grasp. “I’m sorry, just didn’t think it was for me. Didn’t think you’d have the manners to even think of me.”

“Yeah well, Robin told me to play nice tonight.” The both of you uncharacteristically fall into place next to each other as you follow Nancy and Robin through the crowded house. The two of them flow out into the backyard, though you stop in the half-empty kitchen. Placing your drink down on the bench, you lean back onto the cold linoleum countertop, angling your elbows backwards.

“That’s unlike you, Harrington.” You smirk at him and Steve feels his head go dizzy. He himself does his own selfish eyeing of your body. Shamelessly drinking in every inch of you. You wore a minimalist party dress, though it was almost a bright pink. The thick straps wrapping around your shoulders, and the way you had your elbows pointed behind you only pushed your chest forwards, which he couldn’t help but steal an obliviously long glance at.

He found himself sinking down into a hole he couldn’t help but allow himself to fall into. He shouldn’t feel the way he did about you. You were- well you were you. You were sarcastic, bitter, and unbelievably, infuriatingly- perfect. And that’s why he hated you. Because he shouldn’t. Because he felt he had to after all this time.

“Steve?” Steve. A name you rarely used, but when you did, it cause his heart to pang. “Y’alright?”

“Are you alright? Don’t think you’ve ever asked me that before, Y/L/N.”

“Yeah well, I’m a changing woman.” You half smile up at the boy, “I think we both we might be.”

“Sorry, I’ll go back to my usual ways.” He clears his throat and straightens his back.

“I’m sure you will.” There’s a small silence like Steve is thinking, hard.

“Have I told you how hideous you look tonight, Y/L/N?” His eyes narrow, turning to look at you. You look dejected at his inquiry and he almost regrets saying it. God, he was supposed to be laying off the mean comments. He was only making things worse for himself.

You almost wince at his question, “No. Tell me.” You stare down at him, standing up off of the counter, “Go on.”

Your sudden firmness has him weak in the knees. He hesitates momentarily, his gaze wavering, almost glancing down at your lips for a little too long. Your pink gloss entrancing him.

“I can’t.” He turns his head from you. Eye’s flittering.

You raise your eyebrow at him, turning your head like you heard him wrong, “Sorry?”

Your confused tone has him moving closer to you, wanting to reach forwards and brush your hair behind your ear, and smooth his thumb over the crease between your eyebrows. He suddenly had a newfound confidence, probably caused by the three beers he had already had.

“I said,” He sighs, inwardly cursing himself, “I can’t.” His voice is only just at a volume you can hear over the Bon Jovi playing in the background.

“And why’s that?” It was like you also had a new confidence. Not from the half a drink you had downed, but being drunk on him. The unexpected closeness and the scent of his cologne you could suddenly smell, had your head reeling.

“Because, I’m sick of it, Y/N.” The gap only shrinks more, causing you to press your back into the bench. The cold sensation on your warm skin only dizzied you more, “Sick of pretending I hate you so much when that hasn’t been true for the past year.”

“You’re drunk.” Your throat felt like it was closing in, as you slightly struggled for air. Maybe it was the lack of space he was giving you. “Don’t fuck with me.”

“I mean it,” He was now inches from you, breath fanning over your lips. “I don’t hate you, Y/N. Far from it, actually.” His words were only backed up by his eyes on your lips.

You can’t help yourself when you reach out to grip his white shirt in your hands, probably wrinkling the pressed fabric between your fingers, “I think I might feel the same way about you, too, Steve.”

“Fuck,” He murmurs, “Can I kiss you? Because, I’m finding it really hard not to, right now,”

He didn’t even look up at you, gaze fixed on your sticky lips. You nod at his question.

“You sure? I need to know that you actually want this, that it’s not just me-“

“Fuck, shut up for once, Harrington and fucking kiss me!”

That was all it took for Steve to crash his lips into yours. This kiss heated, lips slipping around each other and teeth clashing. The mixture of beer and pineapple juice blending together in the junction of your mouths. His hands found themselves at your hip and your face, the cold feeling like fire against your warm skin.

It wasn’t long before you were pulling away from each other, lips swollen and wet, a touch of glitter along his skin from your lipgloss. You reached forward to grab the sunglasses from his shirt, and placed them over his face, your fingers ghosting his cheeks.

“Your eyes might fall out of your head, Steve.” You giggle at his blissed-out expression, reaching up to playfully closed his parted lips. Hands lingering on his jaw. He looked speechless, honestly.

You lean down to open your purse, pulling the sparkly pink lipgloss from its pockets. Standing on your tiptoes, you stare into the reflection of his black sunnies. Steve places his hands on your hips to steady you, still looking a little stunned. You swipe the wand over your inflated lips to apply a new coat of the gummy makeup.

You lean up to place a kiss to his cheek, a new layer of glitter on his face. “Thanks, Harrington.” You leave him there in the middle of the kitchen, a hand to his warming cheeks, throat bobbing dryly. His loving eyes hidden behind the polarised plastic lenses.

“What happened to the quiet Y/N I used to know?” He calls out to you before you round the corner to the backyard.

“Left her in the upside down, Stevie!”

Stevie. Fuck, he was in trouble for sure.

#steve harrington #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #steve harrington imagine #stranger things

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Pride Month Character Sexuality Headcanon Moodboards 1. Yasmine - Lesbian 2. Demetri Alexopoulos - Gay 3. Moon - Bisexual 4. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - Bisexual

Next up is everyone's favorite Demetri Alexopoulos-obsessed slightly evil predatory bird boy, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz! Unlike with Demetri, I am fully aboard the Bisexual Eli Express. Justice for bi guys!!! We need more in media because it is in fact sexy and valid to like dick AND boobs!!!

Now, quick disclaimer that there is not a single mlw Eli ship that I personally fuck with in the least. I've been pretty loud about the reasons for my immense distaste of H*wkM**n, and could in fact write a 20 or so page essay on why they're one of my all-time NoTPs if prompted. Furthermore, my first impulse upon seeing any other female character paired with Eli (or...really, any character who isn't Demetri, or possibly Miguel in extremely specific circumstances) is to keep said pairing approximately 491263844976 feet away from me. BUT, despite my personal feelings of revulsion upon seeing Eli paired with anyone who isn't his soulmate Demetri Alexopoulos, I fully believe Eli is bisexual and that there's plenty of textual evidence to support this!

So let's dive in!

The first thing that comes to mind is how Eli vents to his mom in the 2x05 flashback about how he's "never going to get a girlfriend." Granted, as I've mentioned in some other posts, high school dating is often more about social status (i.e. being seen as "desirable" enough to get an SO makes you more popular) than genuine romantic attraction. BUT Eli voicing his concerns to someone he clearly trusts more than most people indicates to me that he wants a girlfriend more than just for show--he's attracted to girls.

I have a friend who since moved on from the fandom who did autistic analyses of Eli, and pointed out that he's often uncomfortable with eye contact. Pre-Hawk, the only two people we see him make consistent eye contact with are Demetri and his mom. This seems like a pretty good indication that these are the two people he trusts the most, and can most honestly "bare his soul" and be himself around. Another reason I think his vent to his mom about worrying he's never going to have the experience of dating a girl has authenticity to it. I can't compare this to Demetri's interactions with his mom, unfortunately (and it's a damn shame!!! I demand to see Ms. Alexopoulos in S6!!!), but I can say for certain that Eli has expressed wanting a girlfriend from a (presumably) vulnerable and honest place, while S1 Demetri only ever seems to do so performatively.

As previously established, there is no bigger H*wkM**n loather than I. I make no secret of this. HOWEVER!!! I feel like it'd be naive--and maybe even dumb--to pretend that there isn't at least some physical attraction there. Granted, they're definitely emotionally incompatible in a way I wish the show had the balls to actually address (like how the fuck is a pacifist gonna last in a relationship with a dude who loves fighting more than just about everything else lmao), but I can buy they find each other physically (and probably sexually) attractive. Moon basically says as much when she's dumping Eli in S2! They very much strike me as one of those teenage couples who are all over each other 90% because of hormones. I'd say the main difference between them and Dem and Yas is that the performative aspect doesn't seem to be there. While Dem and Yas feel like they're putting on a show, it seems like Hawk and Moon really were just that horny.

So throughout S2, we see Hawk treat Moon in kind of a possessive way, and more as arm candy to make him look good than as her own person (yet another reason I am such a Hater lmao). Despite this, he spends so much time in S3 and S4 moping over her and pining for her that I do think they had somewhat of an emotional connection, even if it was pretty surface-level. I still think their relationship was mostly based on looks and social status, but him being that hung up on winning her back (a frankly unhealthy thing that should not have been narratively rewarded btw) instead of just moving on to some other hot girl who'd give him the time of day indicates that Moon was more than just a beard.

So like. I feel like if you weren't convinced that Eli has feelings for Demetri, you wouldn't be reading a post written by tumblr user demetriandelibinaryboyfriends XD But to briefly summarize: Eli spends much of the show shooting Demetri Yearning Looks and being the only one amused by his antics. Even when they're falling out, Eli is borderline obsessive about harassing Demetri when he could just ignore him and focus on his Cool New Karate Friends. He often seeks Demetri out in fights in a way that feels pretty damn fruity. He's pretty physically affectionate with Demetri, and never seems to mind when Dem is physically affectionate with him (to the point of near cuddling in S4). This is...unusual for teenage boys, to say the least! Oftentimes even the straight ones are so terrified of being perceived as gay that they're super stingy about all but the most "no homo" type of physical affection. The fact that Dem and Eli pretty liberally put their arms around each other and give each other little gestures of physical affection makes me think that they've been in a homoerotic friendship so long that they like. Don't even realize it comes across as kinda gay??? Like Miguel and Demetri are physically affectionate too, but it's much more casual and doesn't feel as intense.

Also worth a mention that Eli is literally simping for Demetri so hard that he joins Demetri's karate dojo right after being terribly traumatized and deciding to quit karate. Why??? Because Demetri said some encouraging things to him, cuddled him on a couch, and basically confessed his love by being like "hey I'll always care about you no matter how you wear your hair or what name you go by." This man is whipped as fuck. His actor basically confirmed he won the championship for Demetri! And lest we forget, the final push that got him to betray the dojo he'd previously devoted his entire life to--also led by a dangerous war criminal sure not to take betrayal lightly, might I mention--was seeing Demetri in danger. Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz is in fact Down Bad.

So I'm not a big fan of the migu/eli ship for reasons I don't want to get into here, but imo it's completely possible Eli had feelings for Miguel at some point (I just don't think they were ever reciprocated because Miguel is in love with Sam!). He definitely idolizes Miguel and puts him on a kind of "coolness" pedestal that feels like it could easily be romantic. He also gets so obsessed with avenging Miguel that he breaks the arm of the other guy he has a crush on, so...there's also that!

Come to think of it, there are actually some really interesting parallels between the Miguel/Eli and Moon/Eli relationships. Both are kind of a case of Eli getting really enamored with this idealized idea/concept he has of a person and getting so wrapped up in that that he has a fundamental misunderstanding of and neglects the actual person's wants and needs. Hence why he's so confused when Moon and Miguel tell him they don't want him in their lives if he's going to be an ass--this isn't how the doe-eyed ever-adoring hot girlfriend and stone-cold, super aggressive badass bestie he built up in his head were supposed to react! Why are they acting like independent people with agency who don't conform to the versions of themselves in Eli's fantasies???

(This is also why I think Demetri's the healthiest and most sensible romantic partner for Eli btw. Eli doesn't idealize and borderline deify Demetri the way he does for other people he has feelings for/seems to have feelings for. He's known Dem so long that we can reasonably extrapolate any feelings that developed were based in the Demetri that was actually there, and not a fictional version he built up in his mind. In fact, it almost seems like Demetri knows Eli has a tendency to do this and won't let Eli project an untrue version of Demetri onto the real guy. That might be why Demetri staunchly refused to change himself to go along with Eli's karate shenanigans in early S2--he was basically saying "I am who I am, and I refuse to become this impossibly glorified image you're projecting onto me." And I can't blame him--I actually get really annoyed when people try to put me on a pedestal, and will often go out of my way to break their illusion that I'm whatever perfect, wholesome box they try to shove me in XD Bottom line being that between Moon, Miguel, and Demetri, I think Demetri has the healthiest relationship with Eli because it's, at the end of the day, the most honest and doesn't hinge on any untrue and unfair projections.)

At the end of the day though!!! The fact that Eli is able to separately idealize both a guy and a girl and both in a pretty romantic or romantic-coded way is pretty damning proof to me that he is in fact bisexual! Look, not all bisexuals process their feelings in healthy ways okay aiksjuuhfkdhg

He dyes his hair ALL THE DAMN BISEXUAL FLAG COLORS. And on the order they're on the flag, too??? Red (S2 - S3) to purple (S4) to dark blue (S5)??? Fucking wild. If this was a fanfiction I would joke about it being too on-the-nose, BUT NO. THIS IS CANON MATERIAL IN THE SHOW.

Okay, I'm sorry, but. NO non-queer dude dyes his hair bright-ass colors like that. Red or blue maaaaybe, but PURPLE??? NO. Straight men simply do not dye their hair purple. Like speaking as an LGBT I'm here to tell you that in the community, brightly colored hair (but especially more "flamboyant," girly colors like purple or pink) basically a signal that says "hey, I am also queer!" ESPECIALLY if you're a dude. Straight girls dyeing their hair bright-ass colors is more common, but I have never known a single straight guy to. And that's because it's associated with being gay af.

Also I can't tell you the amount of times they've put this dude in bisexual lighting. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are S2 Valley Fest and the S3 arm break, but I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting. Demetri is there both the times I mentioned. Hmmmm.

Took some liberties with the bisexual flag in this moodboard to better fit Eli's vibe...and also like. These are literally the three colors he dyes his hair in canon. I had to XD

I'm still not over that btw aksjdkhuef like it's so bisexual it's PAINFUL

I really like how this one came out <3 Hopefully I was able to capture the full scope of technonerd, avian motifs, and that one S3 angerboi I-want-to-punch-everything-and-everyone arc!

Btw the top middle picture is just supposed to be neon fire because our boi is Fiery™️, but then I realized it...kind of also looks like a mohawk??? So kudos to me for the accidental character accuracy XD

Okay so. Would you believe I have several more of these that I didn't have the chance to post? ^^; I uh. Guess I'll have to make July Pride Month 2.0 and post them then XD This is what happens when I'm too overambitious in my shitposts, eh?

As always, pic credits available upon request!

#eli moskowitz #hawk #cobra kai #aesthetic #moodboard #ck pride month moodboards #bisexual #cobra kai season 1 #cobra kai season 2 #cobra kai season 3 #cobra kai season 4 #cobra kai season 5 #happy pride 🌈 #lgbt #lgbtqia #queer #queer pride

[hopewritcs]

the prodigal sister. ten.

pairing: familial byers fam x reader, romantic paring tbd

word count: 2.1k

summary: y/n is the middle sibling of the byers brothers. she’s just ten months younger than jonathan, making the pair “irish twins”. except when her father and mother got divorced, lonnie got custody of y/n and took her away from the rest of the family. set post s2 and pre s3. 

notes: hi it’s been a long while since i’ve updated this. but with the new stranger things, and a rewatch i have some inspiration to continue writing fics. and i finally have some time too! i’ve cleared out my original tag list for this fic as i’m not sure how long it’s been / who might want to still be tagged. if you want to be tagged please message me or leave a comment with the account name you’d like me to tag! this is a relatively easy chapter, with a bit of a time skip from the last chapter to get us closer to season 3!

warning: mentions and allusions to emotional abuse.

other chapters: masterlist

tps tag list: tba ! 

Everything felt different after her birthday. It was like the world was speeding up. The rest of February flew on by as did March and suddenly it was April and spring was in the air. Flowers were beginning to bloom, and Joyce had recently gotten word that Melvad’s might be in trouble because there was competition brewing in the form of a new mall coming that summer. 

“Well, a mall might be nice, right?” Y/N said over dinner the night her mom told them all the news, while the rest of the Byers’ pushed their dinners around on their plates. “I mean, it’ll be nice to not have to drive so far to go to one now.”

“A closer big movie theater would be nice.” Jonathan shrugged his shoulders as he tried to help Y/N make some light comments for their mother’s sake. 

“You’re right. It’ll certainly save me on gas money now.” Joyce said softly, still a bit sad in the face as she spoke. While she tried to keep her thoughts light she didn’t really know what this all meant. When Melvald told her about the mall opening up that summer, she didn’t think much of it. But now with all the news and list of stores coming out, she was beginning to worry about it. 

“And we’ve still got a few months, right?” Y/N said with a nod of her head. “Maybe something will happen.” 

“Hey, Y/N’s right. Something could happen with construction.” Jonathan laughed. “Or one of those demodogs could be found again, maybe in the mall!”

“Oh my God, Jonathan, at least I’m being serious.” 

“I was being serious.” Jonathan deadpanned, turning his head to look at his sister with a light roll of his eyes, flinching when she tossed a napkin at him. 

“Do I need to separate you two? Or ask you to act more well behaved like your brother?” Joyce asked, gesturing to Will who sat between them. He was silent for the most part just following along the conversation. If he was being honest, his mind wasn’t on the mall--he didn’t really care about the mall. He was more focused on what that might mean for the arcade and if that meant that would close. 

“Did that letter say if the mall would have an arcade too?” Will asked, looking up from his plate and looking at his mom. 

Joyce shrugged her shoulders as she took a bite of her food, “I’m not sure, sweetheart. I don’t think I saw one on the list. But the arcade in town is still good, right?” 

“Of course it is. I just wondered if since there’s gonna be a bigger theater what that meant for all other things...” Will shrugged his shoulders. Worried was more like it. He wanted to know if he had to adjust to something else in his life and focus on the new world around him again, but at least knowing that they wouldn’t have to go to a new arcade was good enough. 

“Is tonight game night or something?” Y/N asked, looking at her brother with a slightly worried look, hoping that it didn’t come off worried and overprotective older sister even if that was how she was feeling right then. 

“Mike’s hanging out with El and Lucas is hanging out with Max.” Will shrugged his shoulders, pushing the food around on his plate and looking back up at his sister. “So, I don’t really think we’re doing anything together.” 

“We could call Dustin, I can take you guys to the arcade or the two of you could try and explain dungeons and dragons to me again?” 

“I don’t think we need to explain it to you again.” Will said, shrugging. He wasn’t sure if his sister was really interested in all of these things or just trying to make sure that he felt like he had something to do. But either way, Will found himself offering another suggestion. “But, maybe you can come next time we’ve got a campaign and you can watch if you want?” 

“Y’know, maybe that’ll help.” Y/N nodded. “I’d like that.”

“If you really want to try the arcade tonight we could call Dustin.”

“Yeah, Will.” Y/N said, before turning to look at her other brother. “Unless Jonathan wants to join us.” 

“I’d be down for a drive and music or something but I’m not really an arcade kind of person.” Jonathan answered, making a face at the thought of spending time in the arcade. As much as he loved his siblings, he really didn’t love spending that much time in that place and it wasn’t really the kind of place he liked. He was more of a written word, photography creative than a games visual design creative. “So long as mom is willing to part with the car for us?” 

“For all my kids to go out for a drive?” Joyce asked. It was almost like time hadn’t passed by her. She felt like she was looking at all her kids when they were still young, and not nearly grown up. How had all this time passed her and her family by? “Of course. Just don’t stay out too late.” 

As the Byers kids piled into their moms car, it felt like it was something they had been doing all their lives without any interruption. They fit naturally getting into the car, and as Joyce watched the three banter and get into the car, driving off she thought that this is how it should have been always. 

How it was going to be from now on. 

Inside the car, Jonathan sat behind the wheel and looked slightly to his siblings as he drove. “So, do we have a destination in mind or should we just drive around?” 

“Is there a place we can go to hang out and just talk?” Y/N suggested. 

“Talk? What do you want to talk about?” 

“I feel like I’ve gotten to talk to everyone about everything but not the two of you.” Y/N said with a shrug of her shoulders. Which was true, she’d gotten the story of everything from the whole group, but the three siblings hadn’t ever really spoken about everything that happened to their family. Both supernatural, and just natural. She felt like maybe they needed that, especially since she’d been avoiding any kind of talk like that after her birthday explosion. 

Both of her brothers could understand that and while they rode in the car, singing along to Should I Stay or Should I Go, the eldest Byers drove them toward an open field where he could park and the three of them got out of the car. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Jonathan asked when he was out of the car, flipping the keys nervously in his hands. 

“I don’t know. I feel like since I’m home we’re all busy. You’re with Nancy, Will’s with his friends. Now I’m trying to make friends and hang out with them but we haven’t had time to just catch up.” Y/N complained with a sigh. “Am I not allowed to want to spend time with both of my siblings? Fuck.”

“You seemed pretty fine with it all these years.” Jonathan mumbled halfheartedly, not really sure if he truly meant the comment. But it did come out kind of bitter. 

Y/N’s eyes widened. 

Will turned to look at his older brother. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Y/N spat out, shaking her head. “Oh, I am so glad that we left the house because if mom even heard you say that.”

“If mom heard me say it then what? What? Are you just mad I’m saying it out loud when we’re all thinking it. You could have come home, Y/N. We wrote to you and called you and always said that we wanted you home, but where were you? Not fucking here.” 

“Jonathan...” Will didn’t even know what to say, but for his brother to start in on their sister like this when he didn’t even see it coming. Sure, he might have felt angry that she wasn’t there when everything happened to. That she’d missed out on so much, but they had missed out on everything in her life too, right? Will didn’t think they had any right to blame her like Jonathan clearly was. 

“I was here when mom thought we lost Will, when she was going fucking crazy trying to talk to him through the damn lights and then when he was in the hospital and when the fucking feds were telling us everything was going to be okay but we can’t talk about it! Shush, it’s some big secret that this town is a shithole.” Jonathan said, waving his hands around and looking at Y/N. “And where were you? Off at some fancy fucking boarding school in California? You didn’t even write or call?” 

“What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry. I’m horrified that everything happened, and I’m scared as hell that something is going to happen again, Jonathan.” Y/N admitted after a long moment of silence, it was clear she’d been holding back in some emotion while she was trying to think of the right words to say. “And you know what...what was I supposed to say on the phone? Hey, so our shitbag dad hates me so much that he shipped me off to a boarding school, but it’s fine because I’ll be okay because at least here I’m away from him and his bullshit! You don’t know what it was like living with Lonnie Fucking Byers all these years, Jonathan. Don’t even start with me. I’m fucking sorry that I wasn’t here for you and Will, but I’m here now. I’m here now.” Y/N shook her head as she spoke, looking at her brother and sighing. “That’s going to have to be enough for you. Because it has to be enough for me. We can’t go back and change the past.” 

The three siblings stood there, all on guard for different reasons. Jonathan looked angry. Hurt, like he wanted to keep screaming. Words he never wanted to say to his sister, but they’d been building up and he’d needed to get them out. Will looked worried, like one of them was going to walk away and he didn’t know who and if they did...was he supposed to follow them or stay and get the other to go after them? And then there was Y/N who stood halfway between angry and dejected. Tears prickling at the corners of her eyes as she looked at her brothers and not knowing what else she could say. 

The silence was deafening for all of them, but none of the siblings wanted to be the one to break it first.

None of them knew what to say. 

“I’m sorry you had to live with dad.” Jonathan reluctantly admitted after the long silence got the best of him and he just needed to say something. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t call more.” Y/N copied her brother’s gesture, a half smile tugging at the corners of her mouth as she looked at him. “I should have.”

“I was always too scared dad would pick up the line if I called. But, we both should have.” Jonathan corrected. 

“Maybe if we called more we’d have known you were at that boarding school.” Will said. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have found out about all this shit from dad.” Y/N made a vague gesture with a wave of her arm and looked at her brothers. “I know I’ve said it a lot the past few months, but I’ve really missed you guys.”

“I’ve missed you too.” Jonathan said.

“Me too.” Will added.

It was too much to handle for all of them, and without really saying much else, the three piled back into the car and headed back to the Byers’ house. Emotionally drained and not really wanting to explain much of anything, the radio playing and nobody caring what song was on. 

Tomorrow was another day to deal with whatever else was coming their way. 

When Y/N got up the next day it was a surprise to see that she was the last one up. How everything had been going lately she’d been a mid morning riser, usually waking sometime between her brothers on non school mornings. Y/N however, wasn’t surprised to go out into the living room and see that the house was already over run with a bunch of her brother’s friends including Steve and Nancy. 

“There’s coffee and some pancakes still in the kitchen, Y/N.” Will said in lieu of greeting his sister good morning. 

“Why is everybody here so early?” Y/N asked as she walked toward the kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee just how she liked it, turning back to look at everyone else. 

“Duh, we’re planning our Spring Break?” 

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #the prodigal sister

[melonsmessymusings]

Just seen a post about S6&S3 parallels and @rachaeljurassic made some super interesting points in the tags about Giles’ departure and how INFURIATING it is that I really want to expand upon, so I guess this one’s for you :) I get it, the mentor figure needs to be gotten out of the way in order to progress Buffy’s own arc, that’s fine. It narratively makes complete sense, but it was handled badly.

@rachaeljurassic suggested that maybe we could’ve gotten him out of the way with a coma. I vibe with that. Let’s have the head injuries catch up to him and have him totally incapacitated. Big battle, dire injuries, that works. We could still have Buffy spiralling after, but this time she’d be blaming herself because Giles got hurt as a result of her being the Slayer (even though he’d never blame her for it and it isn’t her fault except for like twice). That also works better because it would be more in character than having Giles go “I know you can’t even breathe right now but I’m gonna flake because you need to be a grown up. Even though when I was your age I was raising demons, doing dr*gs and having orgies so like lmao.” Plus, have a couple of gratuitous scenes of a very injured Giles being visited by someone to pepper throughout the season that were pre-recorded so we don’t get confused as to why they wouldn’t be sat there with him at least every now and then to make us cry. Imagine a scene with Buffy in a hospital room watching a ventilator force air into her Watcher to keep him alive and pouring her heart out because she’s terrified with no idea what to do and he always knew and she needs him and just cries. You could even have it where he’s like slowly deteriorating or something and Dark!Willow uses her magic to cure him so that would explain how he just got better and was like... fine.  

I also love the idea of him having a total breakdown after Buffy’s death. I absolutely thrive off him becoming a completely numb droid (he probably was and only bothered to put on façade for the Scoobies but that’s for another day) and the Scoobies decided it’d be better for him to try and find a new purpose in life by sending him to England. We could’ve had like the first episode of them helping him settle with the Coven or something and it’d have been AWFUL to watch, but it would make sense and then when Buffy gets resurrected, they just don’t tell him and they tell Buffy that the grief killed him or something like that? idk... or having them explain that Giles isn’t Giles anymore and he’s doing better (because Tara gets updates from the Coven) but being in Sunnydale was killing him and they never told him that Buffy was resurrected. That wedges the group dynamic enough tbh and would cause Buffy to turn to Spike because he’d have had no clue about anything except that Giles had gone off the bloody rails big time and it was good he was away from this hellhole. 

Family emergency? Let’s be honest, the Giles family are probably scum so I’d buy that way less but it’s still more convincing than what actually happened. 

Another suggestion was having the Council snatch him. I also adore this. That would make sense. But let’s have them make it look like they killed him because I love that. So they send in a team, take him away but make it look like he’s been completely murdered. 

My idea is that they put a glamour or something on a vampire to make it look like Giles (but the audience don’t know this yet) and so Buffy drops by and finds a body that is in every way identical to Giles in a destroyed apartment and just breaks and is like clutching at him or something and there’s blood and its horrendous. Then you could either have swoopy Council guys come in and take Giles away when he ‘wakes up’ as a vampire because “there’s a procedure to this Miss Summers” or have her stake him herself then and there because after Angelus she’s taking no chances. Could you imagine the emotional payoff of that? She then has to go and tell the others, who don’t believe her but they all see the apartment, bloodstains and pile of dust and they all have to cope with the grief of losing him throughout the season in addition to everything else.

But wait! There’s more. Travers ends the episode with a folder in front of him, a report from the team that carried out the operation and smiles saying something evil like “I warned her of dealing with grown ups” so the audience all thinks that Giles got offed by the Council. 

BUT REALLY Giles was taken and held in a like prison facility thing, very much alive. Then we get like a showdown of Giles chained to a chair in this cell being forced to watch the video footage of the whole operation and Travers telling him that it’s over and his oh so precious Slayer will end up killing herself with guilt/grief and the Council can have a new start because they’re going to off Faith too. And the last shot is Giles crying in a dank hole.

As far as the audience goes: imagine having Giles showing up at the end of S6 if THAT had been the departure? It’s already an “AAAAAHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!” moment but it’d be magnified tenfold. Then Buffy being completely confused because “I killed you!” then having that moment when she ends up hugging him and he’s warm and breathing and not dead. And Dark!Willow being really confused but trying to kill him anyway because if he was alive all this time why didn’t he come back? That’s when we get the scene with Giles watching what happened on the monitor. Everyone is confused and Giles explains that the Council kept him in one of their facilities and now Buffy feels sick because she’s like “they tortured you... for months!” and Giles is like “Well yeah but it’s fine because I’m here now and I’m so sorry for abandoning you all.” Still can have Evil Willow being evil and Xander saving the day. I don’t care that much but we could’ve had this worked in.

Because the Council would’ve tortured him for fun. Not necessarily physically but they would’ve paraded him around as the example of what happens if you don’t toe the line. They could’ve completely humiliated him and it caused like cracks in the Council because some of them hate that Travers is abusing his power like this on one of their own and others finding it good that such a strong message is being sent. At which point, Travers would give the order for the Special Ops team to start the beatings. Of course, Giles is used to having the seven bells kicked out of him, but to be used as a training dummy by other human beings? They’d practice on him and that’s as far as I think the physical side of it would go, the rest would be mental/emotional torture. Or having hexes/curses tested on him and all the while, Giles genuinely wants them to kill him because everyone he cares about already thinks he’s dead so it makes no difference if it’s the reality. All the while, he’s being kept vaguely up to date with the events of Sunnydale so that he can hear how his Slayer is edging closer into just giving up and it breaks his heart. So Giles spent a year either being locked in a cell translating texts or being used as a punchbag to teach the S.O. team how to interrogate people. That’s how I see it going anyway. We could’ve seen like flashbacks of parts of it in S7 or something idk.

That would explain why he’s so distant in S7. Because he was kept prisoner for almost a year by the people who practically raised him (because the Council kind of did) and how that would mess anyone up and the First tormenting him about how he should’ve gone through with any attempts to end it instead of being a coward because Buffy doesn’t need him and she already thought he was dead. 

I dunno if this is actually what you were going for but it’s where my mind went and it would’ve given Tony Head something really juicy to do by playing a slightly crazed version of Giles who freaks out if there’s more than five people in the room because a year of living on your own in the dark drove him mad. He would’ve completely nailed it. Way better than sitting there going, “I’m headed back to England, and I plan to stay indefinitely”. Ugh we were robbed.

#btvs #rupert giles #s6 has a few unforgivable moments and this is one of them #rachaeljurrassic this is for you #sorry im such a crackhead #meta #alternative s6 giles departures #i have an armada of them tbh

[benjiwyatt]

do you have any ben/leslie headcanons! i love your posts abt them so much it's great to see someone get as emotional abt them as i am asjdkajhjd

i got this message and i was like "god, i dont really know if i have any headcanons" and then i opened my notes app and started typing and didn't stop for over an hour

i'm literally putting this under a break and organizing it into categories bc it's absurdly long

here it is

A COLLECTION OF BEN AND LESLIE HEADCANONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP/S3

basically canon but leslie definitely had a crush on a young benji wyatt and followed the story religiously for the first couple months before she started college

ben is only slightly jealous leslie had ann go out with chris to try and get more money for the parks budget rather than leslie asking him out with the same goal. he knows it’s insane, unethical, and illogical but he’s still excited that he gets to spend the night with her on a date plus two other people even if it is to accuse her of bribery.

ann realizes early on that leslie was attracted to ben and teases her mercilessly about it. she thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that leslie wants to make out with "mean ben.” after april and andy’s wedding, she realizes it's more than just attraction and she lays off.

before ben can even think rationally about what he’s doing, he’s in line at bed, bath, and beyond with a crock pot in his arms, calling stephanie to ask her to send him their family’s chicken soup recipe

ann knew ben liked her from the beginning and was totally positive when she ran into him in the hospital asking for leslie’s room number while holding jj’s waffles and a tub of homemade soup.

ben realizes he’s falling in love with leslie when he is at city hall with her until 3am one night trying to budget for the amount of cotton candy machines she wants for the harvest festival. in his exhaustion, he naively believes her when she tells him she’ll go home in a bit so he leaves. he never gets a text from saying she made it home so he stops at jj’s the next morning and brings a takeout container of waffles and a coffee complete with an outlandish amount of whipped cream and sugar to the parks department. he finds her asleep in the conference room. he starts trying to convince sweetums to donate more cotton candy machines that afternoon.

chris had to have known ben liked leslie. he’s not an idiot. in the deleted scene from their wedding, they read out emails from their “tumultuous first week in pawnee” and chris writes to ben saying, “why are you so focused on leslie knope?” ben replies saying, “i’m not. whatever. shut up.” there’s no way chris is this oblivious. ben takes her out for a beer. ben pays out of pocket for a children’s performer to help her out. ben shows up on chris and ann’s date just because he thinks leslie might be there. chris can’t be this dumb. but when they take the city manager jobs in pawnee, he knows it can’t happen so he cuts ben off when he starts to ask about dating someone in city hall. he cracks down on the rule in front of leslie after the tom incident to hammer it in. he starts setting ben up on a bunch of dates to try and head it off. he sends them to indianapolis for the little league pitch because, realistically, he knows they’re the best bet for success but makes sure to interrupt their dinner and invites them to his apartment to continue to run interference the rest of the night. after their fights in 4.06-4.08, he hopes he won’t have to worry anymore. the next work day, they come into his office looking nervous and happy and he knows he’s about to lose the partner and best friend that’s been by his side for the past decade.

april and andy knew they were secretly dating. it went unspoken aside from a few implicit teasing remarks from april and a few suggestive attempted high fives from andy but leslie assured ben they wouldn’t tell anyone despite their ostensible behavior.

BREAK UP

ben had commissioned the li’l sebastian plush for leslie after he had died but the toy shop didn’t finish it until after they broke up. he felt bad not going to pick it up so he did despite not being able to give it to her. he kept it for all those months and sometimes thought about getting rid of it but could never bring himself to do it.

when leslie made personalized copies her books for her friends with individualized annotations and notes in the bylines, she had two copies for ben. there was one that she gave him during their breakup that was very simplified and watered down where the note basically just said “i’m really glad you decided to stay in pawnee.” then there was a second copy that she kept while they were split up that was totally covered in notes and random thoughts she couldn’t say during their time apart. she gives him that copy when they get back together and it may or may not be the best gift he’s ever received.

april was much less abrasive with them during the break up because she’s a sweetheart and wants her friends to be happy.

the first time leslie admitted she was in love with him was during a long night of drinking and crying at ann’s house

ben craved the taste of sugar during their breakup because he got used to tasting the sweetness when he kissed her

ben found himself unable to sleep at night without the sound of leslie talking in her sleep to comfort him

april texted leslie the night of the halloween party to let her know that ben and andy were at the hospital after a fight and everything was fine and she didn’t need to worry. leslie was mad at andy for a few days after and he couldn’t figure out why.

the only photo in ben’s bedroom was of himself, leslie, and li’l sebastian at the harvest festival. if he got caught staring at it and crying, he would just say he missed li’l sebastian so much.

april and andy started having star wars and star trek movie nights to try and cheer ben up

DOMESTIC

ben and leslie got in the habit of having weekly game nights with april and andy during the campaign since they were all basically living together. it became a tradition that kept going as often as they could make it happen, even after the kids were born. they try to have game night at least once a month. april pretends to hate it.

one of my absolute favorite ideas about them is that she sleeps much better when he’s around to keep her grounded. after they get together for good, she starts getting closer to 5 hours of sleep a night.

another favorite involving leslie’s sleeping: ben is typically accustomed to tuning out incoherent nonsense that she babbles in her sleep but she also has some of her best ideas when she’s not busy trying to focus on a million different things. when he hears her coming up with legitimately good ideas or making speeches or having solid debate arguments, he takes out the notebook he keeps in his nightstand to record her thoughts and quotes. he revisits and revises the notes to strengthen her statements and make them more professional and less rambling but makes sure to keep her distinct voice apparent in them.

ben prefers pancakes to waffles but he will go to the grave with that secret

this isn’t a headcanon because nbc posted it but one of ben’s holidays on leslie’s calendar is watch synchronization day which is the day they celebrate syncing their watches to, as leslie puts it, “always be in harmony, like our hearts” which is just one of the sweetest fucking things in the world

leslie makes ben read and watch all the harry potters because he didn’t get into them when he first tried. ben is much more of a success than ann. she buys him a ravenclaw scarf for christmas.

their first fight as a couple was a historical debate gone awry

since ben clearly has some affinity for custom stuffed animals, he has some made for the triplets.

they’re both dog people but they adopt a cat because sonia and stephen beg for one and it does fit their busy lifestyle much better. they love the cat. they get a dog when the kids are older and life is slightly less hectic.

they both love striped shirts and sweaters so much that they have to make a conscious effort to avoid wearing them on the same day and matching

leslie makes sweets and bakes desserts while ben typically handles cooking the actual meals

BASED ON EPISODES, QUOTES, AND THROWAWAY LINES

i always loved the ann/ben dynamic in bus tour because there’s been such an obvious shift in ann’s attitude towards him in this episode. maybe it’s because she and tom just broke up and she just turned chris down again and she’s frustrated with relationships but i think it’s her realizing ben isn’t going anywhere. since the campaign is winding down, she realizes that things aren’t gonna go back to the way they were because ben is now part of this and he’s clearly in it for the long haul. ann’s definitely jealous that ben is just as important to leslie as she is and she now knows she’s never gonna get that full attention back. ann sits ben down to have a real “don’t you dare hurt her” speech after this ep and before win, lose, or draw. this is when he tells ann he wants to marry her.

they discover they both adore the princess bride after ben says “as you wish” to her one night and after that it becomes their movie.

the wildflower mural becomes a thing between them when ben says he considered that to be their first date, prompting leslie to tell him what the mural means to her.

ben puts banjo boogie bonanza on one of the mix cds he gives leslie at the beginning of their relationship

harrison ford movie nights start after they both reveal they had a crush on him as a kid. ben was obsessed with han solo and leslie was into indiana jones’ whole history teacher vibe.

they basically hate each other’s taste in music and stop exchanging mix cds once that becomes apparent that they aren’t gonna find much common ground. they both love tom petty, al green, and etta james and music in that vein though.

ben makes leslie watch game of thrones just to try to explain why he’s called her khaleesi. she gets into it, not so much because of the show itself, but because of how passionate her boyfriend is about it.

they start learning basic french during the s4 campaign because they think it will be useful to have a basic multilingual vocabulary for their political careers and because leslie confesses she has always dreamed of seeing paris. they study spanish next.

ben makes leslie watch the star wars prequels just so he can complain to her during them. he doesn’t think she’s paying attention and then he reads about midichlorians in the paper.

ann is also in on ben’s plan to sneak vegetables into leslie’s waffles.

they will sometimes jokingly refer to themselves as the “dream team” or “dynamic duo” because, despite chris’s absurdity, it’s true

i’m open to literally any origin of this because no matter what it’s perfect but i like to think that “i love you and i like you” started at some point in season 4 when, at some point, leslie went “i like you” and ben replied “you like me?” “mhm” “hm just like me?” “yes i like you. i love you and i like you. both.” “mmm i love you and i like you too”

i barely even register some of these things as headcanons since they just live so solidly in my brain

this might be my favorite ask ever thank you for loving benslie enough to ask me this and be genuinely interested

if anyone read all of this, i love you

#most of me loves you for sending this ask but i just procrastinated so much work while writing this #ben x leslie #otp: deeply ridiculously #cherubsona #mail #this is truly absurdly long no one is gonna read this

[inevitably-johnlocked]

The Video

Alrighty, so as promised, I listened-slash-watched-slash-backtracked the video over making and eating dinner, with a break in between to take a phone call from my sister, so I may have missed and misunderstood/misheard a few things and may need another rewatch to fix any presumptions I make in this mini (?)-review.

Two things I do need to correct from my last post:

One is that I actually was sent the video to pre-watch before it was posted; I found it in my emails two days later but because I was swamped with day job stuff (as in I was working until 11 PM both days, and I didn’t even sit down until 4 on Saturday), and my fandom email is NOT a primary address so it’s not hooked up to my main Mail server on my MacBook (limited space), I hadn’t checked my emails since Thursday afternoon. So yeah, technically I should’ve known it was out, so apologies: technically I knew it was coming out; my sorry arse just didn’t check my emails.

Second, is that meta I did send her did get referenced and used; some of it word for word (like the discussion about the difference between Johnlockers and TJLC) so meta was read, my bad on assuming it wasn’t before watching.

C’est ça on that front.

A few things that ruffled my feathers and maybe I misheard, but I’ll mention them as I remember it:

I did find it slightly bothersome that the assumption was that Johnlockers that we were a bunch of teenagers (we weren’t – most of the people I talked to were in their 20′s and 30′s and many were academics of varying sorts). SZ was younger than many of us in our little corner of the fandom, I think, and it was filled with amazing meta and university-level papers on queer history, ACD canon history, subtextual writing and literature.  EDIT: I did skim back over to a bit of the beginning since I missed it over making dinner, and I guess a lot of the people who contacted SZ were teens at the time of the airdate, so again, my little bubble and all that and apologies for assuming. :P

This is a totally biased view and probably indicative of how deep down the rabbit hole I was: A bit annoyed at the implication in our belief that Mofftiss weren’t trying to deliberately imply the Gay Sherlock / BiJohn thing especially paying special attention to it during Q&As and meet and greets and interviews; That the cues weren’t there. Though she did point out the queerbaiting aspect of it. I don’t know. Maybe I misunderstood since I was stuffing my gob with pasta and wishing I had a cheesecake.

I think SZ should’ve worded her Twitter callout post a LOT better, because the cons were only mentioned for about 10 minutes, and in only in relation to the drama. She did praise the cons as a positive experience for people, so I’ll give her that.

The Twitter stuff pre-vid-posting still rubs me the wrong way.

Still feel that selling the shirts is tasteless. Mug is cute, though.

Things I did find interesting / good / stuff I didn’t know:

I know I’m a minority in this regard, especially since I am a fence sitter, but I feel... relieved? sorry I can’t think of the word... that SZ essentially did accuse Mofftiss of queerbaiting by the end of it – that it’s not just us who see it. I’ve always said without an S5, it IS queerbaiting, and given that S5 probably won’t happen anytime soon... well. Like I’ve said in the past, I hold out a glimmer of hope. Not holding my breath though.

The mentions of some of the fandom theories and speculations were done tastefully, light jesting but not mocking them.

The discussion section about AA / Mary... Yikes. I forgot it got THAT bad.... I guess because I was always in the “Mary’s a kickass villain” camp so I was blissfully ignorant about that stuff until a few years later. 

The ace stuff, 100% true, and I’m glad it was brought up.

The term “Ragnalock” got a chuckle out of me, will admit that. First time I’ve heard of it.

I had no idea the ARG theory was anything more than thelostspecial website. Somehow I missed that whole thing about it being part of the series itself.

And, a lot of things, in hindsight: just an overall, “yeah. :|”

And some additional notes I can’t really classify one way or another:

Cringing at MYSELF because of some of the post-S4 theories that, looking back: oof. Apple Tree Yard specifically. 

AND cringing at myself because I know I perpetuated a lot of the “IT WILL HAPPEN” in my corner of the fandom pre-S4 because I wanted people to be excited for a new season. For that I am very sorry to everyone who were hurt by my belief. S4 was a brick wall and I hit it hard, thought I do enjoy theorizing about how fake it was. It’s the only way to cope for me, LOL.

Ooof the drama stuff, a lot of it I didn’t know the entire deets about, only about the PPG being involved. I tried to stay out of it when I could and focused mainly on meta writing, my own healing processes, and making people feel welcome. It’s what a few bigger bloggers did for me when I joined by interacting with my posts and offering their kindness, and I wanted to return the favour. Inevitable it had to be covered, but yeah, dark times.

LOOOOOOOL the critique about TFP. Literally stuff that we’ve talked about in our “something’s fucky” tag. 

And to address the elephant in the room: Yes, I DID give SZ meta, but it was the link to fandom meta that is essentially on the header of my blog on desktop, just as I do with anyone interested in the fandom.

Overall, it was a thought provoking vid, a bit of a nostalgia hit to be honest. I thought that it was a good video, interesting in that strange way where you relive strange moments of your past. I feel it was a fair analysis of the fandom, but please, please remember: I can’t speak for those directly involved in the events mentioned, because I WAS NOT THERE. Not my place to disregard their feelings if they have a different opinion than I. 

That said, I think it’s worth a watch if only to see what the fandom WAS. But it’s informative and respectful, I think. Though, I think she could’ve left out the bit at the end just before the credits.

And finally: to anyone who are coming here from the vid: I have been here since S3, joined because of LSiT, and later I wrote villain Mary meta and TAB meta. These days, I primarily have focussed my attentions on curating content, offering my advice on stuff, introducing newbies to the series, and trying to spread positivity, all peppered in with the random theory from time to time, and trying to atone for my... “enthusiasm”?... in the past. I like promoting community and open discussion from all viewpoints, as long as it remains respectful. So yeah, I do have some meta you can check out, just let me know what you’re looking for, and I do lots of fic recs, so if you’re looking for something, hit me up.

Cheers, all. I’m going to bed. 

#my thoughts #sarah z #johnlock videos #reviews

[teacup-crow]

The Christmas Runner

On the 12th Christmas Eve after the world ended, Molly and Carena told someone the story of the Christmas Runner. Major end of S3 spoilers, very minor spoilers for early S5. 

I spent all day in bed and this happened? Will probably go on AO3 once I polish it (and when it’s actually close to Christmas). Promise it’s wholesome!

(In my headcanon here Carena is 15, Molly is 13 and Sara is 7)

“Sam’s givin’ you how much to watch her?” Carena Skeet spluttered, towering over the younger girl, leaning her hands over her head on the brick wall of the housing block. The moon was a sharpened, thin crescent, and lights winked in the guard towers. Over in the main barn, they could faintly hear the twanging of a slightly out-of-tune guitar and some tipsy singing, suggesting the grown-ups’ Christmas Eve party was already in full swing.

Everyone said that Molly Harrison was the prettiest girl in Abel, with blonde curly hair and eyes blue enough to knock out zoms, but right now she was shifting foot-to-foot, looking more irritated than anything else.

“A loaf of crusty bread and a pot of blackcurrant jam, and… you’re not having any of it, Caz.”

“Dr Cohen only promised me a bloody book!” Carena pouted, but avoided stomping her foot. She’d about grown out of that. Nobody would dare call her pretty, but she was too, in a fiercely intimidating way. It was two months until she turned sixteen and could finally start Runner training, and she’d already begun practicing first thing every morning, tearing around the training shed when the sun had barely risen. Where Molly was soft and homely, she was angled and muscular. “You can read it if you let me have a spoonful.”

“That’s a rubbish trade and you know it! I won’t always go along with everything you tell me to do, you know, it’s not fair-“

“Oh blah blah blah, quit whinin’, let’s just get the job done before they realise they double-booked.” She dropped her hands and stalked away. Her foster dad’s old fireman jacket was too big on her, but wearing the king’s clothing added to her swagger.

“You don’t like kids,” Molly pointed out, stumbling a little behind her as she strode off to the front door.

“Kids is fine. Kids is kids. I have, like, fifteen siblings. I know what I’m doing.”

“Yes, and you don’t like any of them. And they’re all the same age as you!”

“What can I say, I’m not good at sharing.” She turned and gazed pointedly at Molly, who shrugged it off. “It doesn’t take two people to babysit a seven year old.”

“Yeah, so go away, Caz. You don’t even want a book.”

“Gotta get on Dr Myers’ and Sam’s good side if I want to be recommended for Runner, don’t I? Janine respects their opinion more than anyone else except Runner Five.”

“So go and sit on guard duty with Runner Five and earn their approval.”

“You jokin’? Five’s batshit.”

“They’re also the only reason we’re not dead, so maybe you should be a bit more respectful.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t try to tell me what to do, Molly Harrison...” Carena’s tone was affronted, teetering on nasty. Then she stopped herself. “But yeah, you’re right. Five’s batshit bonkers, but they’re awesome.”

“And scary?” Molly added.

“Yeah, if you’re a wuss.”

They’d reached the green wooden door of Maxine and Paula’s apartment, a wreath on the outside, a menorah in the window. Sara had hung paper chains all down their part of the corridor. It made both the teenagers smile for a second or two.

Carena knocked, to no reply. She tried again. 

“That’s weird,” she muttered.

“Sara, you in there?” Molly tried, peeking through the window. 

“Sara, we brought chocolate!”

This caused a patter of feet to charge towards the door. Carena grinned. “First rule of kids is lie through your teeth.”

“MOLLY!” Sara sprang through the door in a bright blur of red sweater and green trousers, and jumped into Molly’s outstretched arms. “Did you bring Galileo too?”

Years before, when Archie Jensen had lost Mildred van der Graff to an explosion, Five had managed to get their own chicken back to Abel relatively unscathed. Molly, already interested in animals even as a small child, had adopted Galileo Figaro, a now-geriatric menace with a beak that had lasted longer than anyone expected. The hen had strong memories of her dinosaur roots, and, apart from Molly, Five and Sara, would attack almost anyone who dared enter the coop.

“Galileo’s an old hen, she’s resting.”

“She went cluck-cluck-cluck over the rainbow bridge to Ed Harrison’s stomach, you mean.”

“Caz! Dad would never!” Molly looked scandalised as Carena burst out laughing at her own joke. Thankfully, it went over Sara’s head as she dropped down from Molly’s arms and stared up at Carena’s jacket in awe. Caz ruffled her mop of springy hair affectionately. She liked this kid, at least. It was very difficult not to.

“Hello, baby Sara, how’s it goin’?”

“Good, Princess Caz! I’m making a jigsaw puzzle. It’s got a million trillion pieces!”

“Sounds like an absolute riot. Tell you what, Molly can finish it with you and I’ll heat up the rations.”

Molly nodded despite herself, taking the pudgy little hand in hers and stepping into the cosy apartment. “Okay, let’s go, hopefully we have all the pieces...”

“Daddy had to remake some of the missing ones but he said you can barely tell the difference, sort of! Anyway, you said you had chocolate?”

This was still one of the oldest housing blocks in Abel, but instead of enough bunks for eight people the two rooms comfortably housed the little family of three, bathroom splitting a bedroom on one side and a family room on the other with a table and a bookshelf and warm candle-lit lamps too high for Sara to knock over on the mantelpiece. Woollen throws covered the kind of battered armchairs you sank into and artwork lined the walls. There was even a tidy kitchen corner with a kettle and a camp stove and a stack of chipped plates and mugs. It was one of Carena’s favourite places: better even than sharing a room with some of the roller girls on a rare trip to see her foster dad in London; much better than her own springy bunk in the children’s dorms, the wall behind her chequered curtain plastered in pictures and photos and plans but still not private enough to block out the whining and crying of the little ones all night. It was nice to see a place where a real family lived. When she stood in the centre of the room, she could squeeze her eyes shut and almost picture the faces of her real parents, her actual bedroom, the kitchen they’d had with a white-tiled floor. Or was it sand-coloured tiles? She wasn’t quite sure, not that she’d admit it. Whenever anyone asked, she always said she remembered the pre-zombie world perfectly.

“Caz? Are you heating up the food or...?”

“I’m getting to it!” She stomped towards the stove, where Sara’s parents had already left a few crumbling Tupperware containers of pea soup from the kitchens, and Molly had brought a bowl of eggs to hard boil if they felt snacky. Not particularly inspiring, but then food had been limited for the last week as the kitchens saved all their supplies up for Christmas Day. And none of them knew how to be fussy: Sara and Molly did not remember a time when food was plentiful, and Carena’s last remnants of pickiness had been starved out of her when the Ministry occupied Abel. She’d been nine, and her stomach hadn’t stopped rumbling for that whole terrible ten months. It ached again a little just thinking about it. She wondered if that had left her weaker, permanently damaged her chance to become a Runner or a roller-girl. As if her asthma wasn’t enough of a handicap. Well, she’d do it anyway. Nothing was going to get in her way, least of all the legacy of those who had hurt her foster father. 

“Three bowls of green soup, coming up!” She added a lick of salt, and stirred the metal pot. The ruckus from the square was louder now, almost matched by the younger girls playing with the puzzle behind her.

“I can’t tell if this is supposed to be a man’s face or a rat.”

“Daddy’s not a very good draw-er.”

“I mean… he could use some practice, to be honest. Any clue on where this piece should fit, Caz?”

Carena doled out the bowls and spoons. “Looks like a squiggle with earmuffs to me. Sam’s crap at art.”

“Don’t swear in front of Sara!”

“She’ll be fiiiine,” Carena rolled her eyes. “Lighten up, Molly.”

“Yeah, lighten up, Molly!” Sara echoed jubilantly. “Crap, crap, crap.”

“Okay, you can cut it out now. Eat your dinner.”

Molly changed the subject, sensing another mischievous outburst of swearing on the horizon. “Are you excited for Christmas, Sara?”

“Yeah! Did you hear that we’re going to have a hog roast and potatoes?! And games! And, and, Ms Marsh knitted me a hat and mittens!”

“How do you know about that?” Molly admonished. Sara immediately looked caught in the act.

“I… maybe heard her and Mama talking about it.”

“Did you ‘maybe hear’ or were you spying on your Mama?”

“I wasn’t spying! People just think kids can’t hear stuff!”

“Hey, spyin’ is a great skill, don’t knock it, Mol. Don’t worry, we won’t tell.”

“I wasn’t spying!” Sara drank down the last of her soup, licked the bowl, and pouted adorably. It was hard for the babysitters not to laugh.

“You know, I think that piece might actually be a clockwork mouse. I think it goes down at the bottom…”

They finished the jigsaw with only four missing pieces. “It’s… a big man in a red coat with a white beard! With lots of toys. I’m going to call him Mr Bob.”

“Sara, that’s Santa. Do you not know about Santa?”

“Father Christmas?” Molly tried, although she wasn’t completely confident either. Sara looked blank.

“You know my father is called Sam Yao?”

“No, baby, Santa Claus is different. He brings things to good children at Christmas.” In the back of her mind was an image of Ed in a terribly cobbled together Santa suit, a tiny Molly on his shoulders. A good memory in a flock of bad ones. It twinged in her chest.

“He’s a Runner?”

Carena sighed. “Basically. Yeah. Santa Claus is just another name for the Christmas Runner. Every Christmas Eve, he goes from township to township, leaving gifts for all of the children.”

“How does he get through the gates?”

“Well, duh, he lets the township leaders know what time he’s going to come on Rofflenet first. And he’s really fast, so he doesn’t need to worry about Raiders or zoms. He’s got a big sled drawn by nine dogs for all the presents!”

Sara’s eyes sparkled. “What are the dogs called?”

“Well, the main one is Rudolf, and he’s an, an Irish red setter. Or he wears a red jumper, like you. Something to do with red. The other ones…” she looked to Molly for assistance, and realised the blonde girl was just as enraptured. “The other ones aren’t important.”

“Caz!”

“Fine! Dasher, Dancer, Prancer… Victor?” 

Her mind drew a complete blank. Somewhere in her subconscious, a woman’s voice read the words of Twas the Night Before Christmas, but she couldn’t quite make them out. “Um… Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh and Spam?”

Molly snorted in surprise, her face contorting and shoulders shaking as she tried to hold back a peal of laughter. At least Sara seemed satisfied. “Okay, so how come I don’t hear them all?”

“He sneaks in with magic and only when you’re extremely tired so it’s, like, impossible to stay up to hear. But if you leave a sock on the end of your bed he’s guaranteed to put sommat cool in it.”

“How will he know what I like?”

Molly looked thoughtful. “Maybe you should leave him a list? But you like a lot of things.”

“And my socks are quite small.” Sara looked pensive, kicking her feet in the air to check the size of them. “You two should write lists as well!”

“I’m too old to write one-“ Carena tried, but Sara was already insistently jabbing a pencil and an old receipt at her from a scrap paper drawer in the cabinet.

“These big long lists from the olden days are perfect, we can use the back.”

Carena’s eyes flitted over the receipt. Morrisons. Mango, papaya, hummus, avocadoes. All words she didn’t recognise, foods she would never get to try, and, suddenly intimidated, she laid it down on the table. She wasn’t the strongest reader or writer at the best of times - she’d learned too late, and it was difficult with so many new things in a row. Sara sounded out the letters on her own list as she wrote, her reading already confident.

“Dear Christmas Runner. Thank you for all your hard work, and for taking so many risks to deliver presents…”

Molly glanced over at Carena with a dash of awkward concern. They’d shared a schoolroom as children, and again for the last few years, and had some of the same frustrations, although Molly struggled more with maths and numbers and the purpose and point of algebra and geometry than writing and words. “Can I write both of ours, and you do the pictures? Your drawings are really good.”

Carena nodded, and got up abruptly to wash out the pot and make some tea. Outside, the town choir had drummed up enough numbers to give a few carols a go. She cracked open the window a little to let the sound filter up. 

“I would really like some bubblegum but I know it is hard to find and my mothers don’t like it so don’t worry if you can’t find any. I also like marbles and you can fit lots of them in a sock!”

“You’re already running out of space!”

“Okay. Lots of love from Sara Myers-Cohen-Yao, kiss kiss kiss! What are you going to ask for?”

“Nicer soap,” Molly said, quite serious. “And I need a new metal bucket for chicken feed and milking. Mine is close to holes.”

“A bucket won’t fit in a sock!” Sara scoffed with childish mirth. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I don’t know, she has really big feet.” This made Sara giggle even more, and slide off the chair to look at Molly’s feet more closely.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Molly gave Carena a mock-withering stare. “What do you want, Caz? I’m doing yours now.”

Carena thought as the water began to bubble. All she really wanted was to be a Runner. To explore. To get buckets and soap and marbles and gum and make faces back in the township light up. All she wanted was her lungs and airways to do as she commanded, her muscles and heart to work with her, to let her push past exhaustion. 

“Eh. Shoelaces would be nice.” She smirked at Molly. “Or some chicken fat.”

“Make one more threat to my chicken’s life, Carena Skeet and you won’t be getting anything from the Christmas Runner!” 

“I surrender, I surrender!” Carena laughed, and poured the tea. “Anyway, shouldn’t you be in bed by now, Sara? If we’re going to get this Runner to come at all.”

“But I’m not even tired,” the small girl yawned, still on the floor with her head on the chair and cuddling one of the throws her mothers had stacked on the sideboard. 

Molly grabbed the rest of them. “Come on, we’ll build a blanket den, have our tea in there, and Caz can tell you more about the Christmas Runner.”

“Startin’ to feel like Caz does all the work around here,” Carena added, stirring in milk and honey and using the puzzle box as a makeshift tea-tray. “Go on then, lead the way.”

Five minutes later, they’d constructed a large blanket fort and, huddled together inside it, Carena began to tell them everything she remembered from the world before, embellishing the odd detail or ten.

“You’re lying, there were no flying snowmen.”

“Well, I saw a film about them!”

Eventually, Sara curled up and fell asleep, thumb in her mouth, dreaming up a jumble of tinsel and angels and dancing snowmen and turkeys.

Molly smiled, sleepy herself. “You know, you’re actually really good with kids.”

“You’re actually good at lightenin’ up.”

“Yeah! This was fun. I had a really nice evening.”

“Molly…” Carena began, and stopped. She tucked Sara’s blankets around her a little tighter. She didn’t know how to say how safe she felt, maybe for the first time since she lost her brother, warm and wanted and hopeful, surrounded by the peace she wanted so badly to fight for. “I think tomorrow is gonna be a really good day.”

The bell in the square jangled once, twice, twelve times and for once they didn’t panic. It had been years since a horde went anywhere near the gates. This was midnight.

“Merry Christmas, Caz.”

“Merry Christmas.”

***

Carena awoke under a pile of blankets, her head on the end of Sara’s bed, the sound of Dr Cohen humming in the kitchen as she fried the eggs for breakfast, and caught three bulging stockings out of the corner of her eye. A lump came to her throat as she saw the book, as promised, bound in ribbon, that she recognised even without reading the words.

The Abel Runner’s Handbook, fourth ed.

She nearly knocked the wind out of the doctors in her rush to hug them.

#zombies run #zr #carena skeet #molly harrison

[birdyisanightingale]

THT S4 Predictions: Brazil Trailer

Back by popular demand, I’m going to be doing a comprehensive set of predictions based on the Brazilian S4 trailer which has additional footage to the main one. If you want to watch it, here’s the link: https://www.handmaidsbrasil.com/2020/12/exclusivo-assista-ao-novo-teaser-legendado-da-quarta-temporada-de-tht.html

SPOILER ALERT!! Please be aware that if you keep reading there will be major S3 spoilers and potentially some S4 ones too!!

First up, we appear to have some sort of scene where June has been captured by eyes (or someone posing as the eyes - I’ll come back to this) . I think this must be at least an episode or so in because she seems to be walking fine and she doesn’t have any obvious injuries (she was basically dead at the end of S3). Another good sign is that she appears to be alone, so if she has indeed been taken by the eyes, they haven’t managed to capture all of the ‘magnificent seven’ (this is the new term being given to the fugitive handmaids from the end of the S3 Finale). 

However, considering the remote location, it looks likely that this scene may be an attempted execution of June. I know what you’re thinking, this is Gilead - if they want to kill you they won’t bother making it private, they’ll make an example out of you and leave you hanging on a wall until you rot. But think about it - at this point, killing June will not be an example, the resistance in all its different forms has gotten too big for that. If they kill June now, they will only be creating a martyr, and the only way to avoid that is to kill her secretly and get rid of all the evidence so no one knows if she’s dead or missing or maybe even escaped to Canada without telling anyone - a great way to crack a resistance is to take away the element of trust! Anyway that’s why they’d make her execution a quiet affair.

But here’s why I think it was only made to look like the yes have taken her. Judging from the location and costumes (although admittedly costume variety is particularly limited in this show), while this is later in the trailer, it looks like a continuation of the same scene. It looks almost like Nick knew that June was in a situation where either he intervened or she was captured (or worse) for real. He obviously still has to make it look somewhat legit because he’s a commander now and he needs to keep good standing to be able to help June and Mayday (not to mention, staying off the wall). 

I think this element of Nick being an asset to Mayday will be explored quite a lot this season, and beyond. Nick’s character development is particularly interesting because we’ve almost had a different Nick every season, but the writers are still finding new ways to surprise us with new dimensions to his character. In S1 we had ‘Nick the Eye’ who was battling this sense of duty and obligation that he had never bothered to question whether he agreed with his orders or not, with finally finding a reason to question those orders - June. Then in S2 when he’d finally gotten to a point where he’d chosen June over duty, we saw ‘Nick the husband’. We know from his flashbacks that he had a religious background before Gilead so he’s had ‘the sanctity of marriage’ instilled in him from a young age. So he’s somehow trying to reconcile his new role as a husband with his love for another woman who’s carrying his baby. And then we get the (admittedly infrequent) S3 ‘Nick the Soldier’ who we know absolutely nothing about, and how dominate that side of him is. Not dominant enough and Nick won’t have enough influence to be useful to Mayday, too dominant and he could potentially betray Mayday... we’ll have to wait and see...

“You can’t save her; some women don’t want to be saved.” Oof, literal chills. I’m really looking forward to this character dynamic. Both are commanders, both helped to create Gilead and regret it, and both have a connection to June. I know this is scene is talking about Nick wanting to save June and probably get her to Canada, but I can’t help thinking that the writers specifically wrote this line to have an underlying tone about Eleanor as her death will still be very fresh for Lawrence. 

This isn’t a prediction so much as a musing but I really hope there gets to be some sort of interaction between June and Lawrence about the circumstances of her suicide. Every time I watch the funeral scene where June and Lawrence just look at each other, I get more and more sure that Lawrence knows that something else happened that she’s not saying - he’s a smart man, after all.

Maybe this scene is a continuation of the ‘secluded forest/potential eyes’ scene. He could have asked her to stop “playing handmaid commander” (I believe this was a direct quote from S2, tell me if I’m wrong) and go with him to Canada and she refuses, hence why he goes to see Lawrence. That would fit the potential timeline as Lawrence would have to have been released from the interrogation scenes we saw in the main trailer, and we’ve established that the forest seven must be at least a few episodes in.

Speaking of rebel handmaid shenanigans, this looks fun! June is heard saying “Where we’re going isn’t safe.” and Mrs. Keyes (Mckenna Grace) replies “It’s not safe anywhere!”. I mean, straight off the bat, it looks like we’re going to get one hell of a performance from Mckenna Grace who seems insanely talented for 14! We’ve had it teased to us by different producers and show runners that Mrs. Keyes will be the confident teenage wife of a commander, who helps to facilitate the resistance. And, I mean being a child bride is horrifying so I can understand why she’s willing to help!

As where they’re actually going, I’m thinking that it’s got to be another ‘attack’ by Mayday. What that will look like is hard to say - another Lillie Fuller style bomb seems unlikely since the bomb-maker was moved and it doesn’t really seem like June’s style anyway (she’d rather go for the targeted kill without Handmaid/Martha casualties), and all remaining kids in Gilead will be under heavy security after the S3 Finale. My money would be on a plan to get out Handmaids/Marthas - in the originally trailer we hear June saying “These women deserve to be helped” which supports that theory. I think her efforts will particularly focus on handmaids since a lot of the kids they got out were kids of handmaids before Gilead so she’ll want them to be reunited where it’s safe to do so.

Right - my guess is that this scene must be following whatever Mayday attempted (successful or not...). Remember in S2 when June was looking at all the Marthas who had been hanged and she said that they had been hanged for being heretics and not for being part of resistance because officially there was no resistance because there was nothing to resist? I think what we’re seeing is June has been caught and she’s being given one of the hanging bags with the symbols on to say why they were hung, pre-execution (which I assume June will somehow survive - my guess would be Nick gets her out before the execution). June’s bag has a cross because she’ll be hung for being a heretic, because officially there is no resistance - although this seems like a bit of a stretch of a story even for Gilead considering what Mayday just pulled off. It’ll be interesting to see the story that Gilead do use to explain what happened.

Another thing I just want to quickly touch on is the costume - mustard yellow with a red strip. It’s a bit out there but I’m putting my money on ‘death row uniform’ - here’s why: the colours of the uniforms all have biblical connotations e.g. the wives where blue because it symbolises the purity of the Virgin Mary, handmaids wear read to symbolise Mary Magdalene who is a redeemed sinner etc. In Revelation (final book of the bible that talks of the end of the world and second coming etc.) the four horsemen (bringers of the end of the world) are described as being yellow as sulphur and red as fire. So the colours yellow and red would symbolise ‘the end’ i.e. a salvaging/execution. This is purely speculation so make sure to comment your thoughts!

Now the opinion you’re probably all here for - Hannah. In the shots shown in the trailer, she can be seen in some sort of glass prison with a doll, and she draws an eye in the dust. There’s been a lot of speculation about the context of this scene with the overriding theory being that this scene is a dream. In some ways this makes sense: June is in the yellow costume but she doesn’t have the same injuries shown in the other footage where she’s wearing this costume (although this could just be that this scene is slightly before that scene), the idea of a glass prison doesn’t really make sense in relation to what all the other cells look like that we’ve seen, the eye that Hannah draws is just way too precise for a drawing done with dust let alone a drawing done by a child, the idea of Hannah drawing an eye is also a strange drawing for a child whereas June would dream that because of the connotations to Gilead spies and ‘under his eye’. Not to mention it makes sense that June would be dreaming about Hannah being trapped as she’s been spending time with Mrs. Keyes who is a child bride close to Hannah’s age.

In all honesty, I don’t really know what I believe. I think that placing Hannah in a glass prison and allowing June to see her and be centimetres away but not be able to get to her is a very Gilead style power trip. Gilead officials know that the only reason that she’s still in Gilead is because of Hannah so it makes sense for them to hold her in a place that is blatantly obvious to June so she can be used as leverage in stopping an on-coming attack. Gilead pretend to be all about protecting children but we all know they’re not above cutting off a limb or two - as long as she still has a working uterus. So if this isn’t a dream and Hannah is being used as leverage, this puts a spanner in the works on my death row theory because you only keep leverage on someone if you need them for something and they won’t kill her if they still need her for something. There’s a number of things that could be - stopping an on-coming attack, intel on Mayday and the Martha network, maybe they’re blackmailing her to tell Luke to stand down on trying to get Fred and Serena convicted?

Anyway.... that was A LOT. Please reply to this post with any ideas you have or to prove me wrong - this is all we have till S4 drops!

Blessed be the fruit loops, bitches x

#thtedit #thehandmaidstaleedit #the handmaids tale spoilers #the handmaid's tale #hannah tht #moira tht #janine tht #June Osborne #nick x june #nick blaine #june tht #predictions #spoiler #thehandmaidstaleonhulu #blessed be the squad #blessed be the fruit loops #under his eye #nolite te bastardes carborundorum #mckenna grace

[arsenault16lawrence-blog]

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This required a lot of hours to get when I first placed that way up so get given notice, maybe you have to get away from your computer about all of day to get the full blockchain. You could create your wallet within the app, you will become given a seed which in turn is a good list of words � store this someplace safe as this will be precisely how your wallet will be backed up, you will will need it if you need to reconstruct your pocket. Once you have your wallet synced, you could begin mailing and getting Siacoins and in addition come to be some sort of host or number your own own files on this community. Conclusion Siacoin seems like it would be an useful project. Peer-to-peer safe-keeping may very well be this future of file storage as our respective internet foot prints grow larger having each passing year, gradually filling up the machines on Amazon, Google plus the like. From an investing point of view, Tanto did very well above the last six several weeks and it has proven itself to help be a good resilient and often high resource. A new quick glance at the relevant graphs regarding typically the coin�s flight, and even you are getting to get a good perception of the particular outstanding journey Tanto possesses been on during the last two years or so given that its launch. Possessing explained that, one issue which in turn is causing the Nebulous advancement team concern can be, whenever you can believe it, this speed where the respectful Siacoin has surged in value. The reason with regard to it is that the some what concept of Tanto depends on Siacoins being utilized to be a repayment for expert services presented, certainly not, as several seem to believe, like some sort of investment auto. Only time can notify whether the staff are able to efficiently stabilize often the currency, as a result rendering this fit regarding purpose which in turn could stop potential traders in often the coin. Another region intended for concern is the challengers which are now coming into the foreign exchange market, for example Storj which in turn just held a good successful ICO where that they raised $30mm in tokens and have combined together with the extremely popular FTP program Filezilla to combine his or her product straight in it is interface. That is usually projected that the cloud storage market place could get worth $74billion by way of 2021, if Sia may possibly get some way to recording a part of this market from the proven companies such as Dropbox, Microsoft and Google in that case it can prove in order to be a very lucrative investment. Sia-UI is a person of the very best Siacoin wallets online to maintain your own personal Siacoin. It's also the sole official app made by simply Nebulous, the developers involving the Tanto Storage Software. This can be obtained for Mac Linux and Windows OS IN THIS HANDSET and is one of the safe and sound Siacoin wallets, traders may use. It is suitable with iOS equipment and even is considered the most effective Siacoin wallet IOS. Anyone must check the Siacoin wallet deal with thoroughly prior to sending. As of this moment, no whole lot more wallets are supporting Siacoin, but as its becoming famous, more wallets is going to also begin supporting that.

[briggs69strauss-blog]

Siacoin Wallet (SIA-UI)

Sia is a decentralized software of storage, attached from the blockchain technologies. The Sia Storage Podium (SSP) harnesses underutilized capability close to the world to produce a files hard drive place that is certainly extra reliable and lower expense than traditional cloud safe-keeping services. Sia distributes in addition to scrambles your files all over a new decentralized network in which you command your individual encryption secrets and could own your data. Simply no third party can get or perhaps control your data, as opposed to traditional cloud storage companies. On average, Sia's decentralized cloud storage expenses 90% a lot less than incumbent fog up storage vendors. Sia shops and distributes unnecessary record segments upon nodes across the globe, getting rid of almost any single point of failure and ensuring uptime that rivals traditional cloud storage area providers. Sia is a person of the best fourty cryptocurrencies by market place increased. Sia is the assignment which offers some sort of individual, decentralized and secure cloud-based storage platform organised within the blockchain for a small fraction of the associated with different well-liked storage programs such as Dropbox, Amazon S3, and Google Drive Tanto, as a concept, was initially first dreamt up from HackMIT, a student-run hackathon, back in 2013 in addition to was officially unveiled in June of 2015; it is now backed by simply Boston-based firm Nebulous Inc., whose self-proclaimed mantra is definitely: �Re-decentralizing the Internet�. The standard idea is that rather of booking safe-keeping by a central loan provider of servers, as is typical with regular cloud-based tools, peers on the Tanto system rent space through each additional via its �distributed cloud storage platform�. Tanto employs erasure coding (distributing encrypted fragments regarding data redundantly across the network) and persistent blockchain with tokens called �Siacoins� to support the community. As opposed to most new gold and silver coins, Sia�s launch wasn�t forwent by simply an ICO as well as pre-mining; instead, Sia began existence when its genesis block was mined. Due to prominent investors such like Procyon Ventures, Raptor Class, Fenbushi Capital, along using angel buyers like Xiaolai Li, typically the Sia group managed to increase around $1. 25 zillion inside funding without an ICO. Who�s Behind It? Details [Show] Sia is usually supported by the Nebulous development staff which contains a central team of a few industry persons all determined to see Tanto succeed. Nebulous� focus can be reputable, decentralized infrastructure to assist provide forward the future together with Sia is the major project of the Nebulous team. TwitterFacebookGoogle+BufferLinkedIn Sia is a project which offers the private, decentralized and protected cloud-based storage platform located on the blockchain to get some sort of fraction of the particular price of other famous storage space platforms such while Dropbox, Amazon S3, plus Yahoo and google Drive. Siacoin Wallet Download v1.3.7 , while a concept, was first of all dreamt right up at HackMIT, a total student-run hackathon, back in 2013 in addition to was officially released in June of 2015; this is now backed by means of Boston-based firm Nebulous Incorporation., whose self-proclaimed mantra can be: �Re-decentralizing the particular Internet�. The particular basic idea is as a substitute of renting safe-keeping via a central bank involving servers, as is typically the norm along with traditional cloud-based platforms, colleagues on this Sia platform rent room from each other by using its �distributed cloud safe-keeping platform�. Sia employs chafing coding (distributing encrypted fraction of data redundantly across the network) and a good indie blockchain with bridal party referred to as �Siacoins� to help support the system. Unlike best new coins, Sia�s release wasn�t forwent by the ICO or maybe pre-mining; rather, Sia started life if its genesis block had been mined. On Siacoin Wallet Download v1.3.6 of dominant shareholders such as Procyon Undertakings, Raptor Group, Fenbushi Capital, along with angel traders like Xiaolai Li, typically the Sia team maintained to raise over $1. 25 thousand in funding without an ICO. Who�s Behind It? Contents [Show] Tanto is supported by the Nebulous enhancement staff which contains some sort of key team associated with five industry people all of determined to see Sia do well. Nebulous� focus will be reputable, decentralized infrastructure to help bring forward the possible future together with Sia is the primary job of this Nebulous team. 3Commas John Vorick is cofounder together with CEO at Nebulous. He is a talented designer using a degree in personal computer science who spent a long time as a software programmer in advance of taking the reins at Nebulous where they is an a key component part in the managing connected with the Sia project. Jake Miltenberger, originator of Nebulous, is an American enterprise capitalist, entrepreneur together with investment banker for surfacing growth companies. Todd at the moment will serve as Associate for this Individual Markets Group with Stifel Nicolaus, saving their time and energy to the group�s expenditure consumer banking and Vectis II pay for supervision activities. Todd launched Nebulous in 2009 as a new niche consulting business. Luke Champine can be co-founder from Nebulous just where he specialises on paper application to re-decentralize the web. He / she studied Computer and also Methods Engineering for 3 or more yrs, before him together with some sort of friend were, in his words �bitten by the new venture bug� and gone on to cofound Nebulous. He�s recently worked from Akamai plus Kronos, correspondingly. Other business friends incorporate Jae Heller, who also takes care of business enterprise progress, together with Drew Volpe, Nebulous� plank observer. Likas? is a forward-thinking businessman and marketing strategist along with a appetite to disrupt, develop and transform solutions and experiences which change industrial sectors, engage consumers, plus enable positive change. Volpe is an investor, businessperson, together with technologist with some sort of solid qualifications in search, machine learning, sensors, and mobile technologies. Exactly why Could this be Large? Sia has the potential in order to disturb a multibillion $ industry, namely the hard drive with the world�s files within a way that is more private, more secure, in addition to more expense useful compared with how ever before. With virtually no need for some sort of central bank involving severs in which to store data, Sia could totally enhance the cloud storage area industry by utilizing blockchain engineering allowing for peer-to-peer file storage space. Exactly how it works can be hosts plus renters activate in file deals which usually is essentially an contract among the storage provider as well as consumer; this will take place in advance of any storage space is given. The purchaser pays the particular Siacoins straight up to the blockchain, which in turn acts as an earnest service, with the previous agreement serving as often the rules to get arbitration. In the event the contract is usually achieved and the storage supplier submits a proof involving hard drive, the storage company is usually compensated and, in case not, the particular coins will be returned towards the tenant. Sia�s site expresses: �as of January 2016, storage space will be about $2. 25/TB/month using 6x redundancy�, nevertheless true prices differ slightly. Siapulse. com claims to keep track of market rates and price tag conversions. The SiaExplorer in the official Sia domain as well caters for blockchain pursuit, wherever some basic metadata regarding accords and dealings can be viewed. When, in practice, Sia handles to have even close to be able to $2. 25/TB and typically the Nebulous team can easily properly market their alternative, that could spell big difficulties for the likes involving Google, Amazon and Dropbox. Siacoin Funds Although Sia could not hold an ICO, these people would crowd finance together with the sale of �Siafunds� which are the second cryptocurrency and pay out a few. 9% of all prosperous hard drive contract payouts in order to the holders of this Siafunds. 10, 500 Siafunds were issued as a whole, plus about 1, 000 ended up sold in the crowd-sale plus the rest held by means of the progress team. The idea is no longer feasible to purchase Siafunds unless you receive one right from some sort of holder, these people are occasionally offered on the market on their subreddit or Slack trading channel. Presently there is at this time no en aning finances available for storing your own Sia Gold coins so anyone have to download the Sia UI client that will synchronize the blockchain on your local machine. This required a lot of hours to download when I first set that way up so get aware, you could have to keep your computer with all day to get this full blockchain. Sia Wallet Download v1.3.5 could create your budget inside the app, you will end up being given a new seed which in turn is some sort of set of terms � store this particular somewhere safe as this will be exactly how your wallet is usually secured, you will will need it if you need to have to recreate your budget. Once you have your own personal wallet synced, you could begin giving and getting Siacoins as well as grow to be a host or number your own personal own files on typically the system. Conclusion Siacoin appears like it might be an interesting project. Peer-to-peer storage area could very well be typically the future of file storage as our respective internet foot prints grow larger along with each passing year, continuously filling up the machines in Amazon, Google in addition to the like. From an making an investment point of view, Tanto has been doing very well over the last six weeks and possesses proven itself in order to be some sort of resilient in addition to often high resource. Some sort of quick glance at typically the relevant graphs regarding this coin�s flight, and even you are getting to get a great thought of this amazing journey Sia features been recently on during the last a pair of years or so due to the fact its launch. Acquiring claimed that, one thing which is causing the Nebulous enhancement team concern is, when you can believe it, the speed at which the respectful Siacoin has surged around value. The reason intended for this is that the very concept of Tanto is reliant on Siacoins being utilized being a monthly payment for expert services offered, not, as several seem to think, like some sort of expense motor vehicle. Only time will explain to whether the workforce are in a position to effectively stabilize this currency, thus rendering this fit for purpose which often could deter potential option traders in often the coin. Another place with regard to concern is the competitors which are now going into this market, for example Storj which usually just held a good successful ICO where many people raised $30mm in tokens and have joined with the extremely well-liked FTP program Filezilla to combine their very own product immediately straight into it is interface. The idea is definitely approximated that the fog up storage market place could end up being worth $74billion by way of 2021, if Sia could very well move some way to taking a part of that market from the founded companies such as Dropbox, Microsof company and Google subsequently it could confirm for you to be a very profitable investment. Sia-UI is a single of the most effective Siacoin wallets online to store your own Siacoin. It's also the only official app made by means of Nebulous, the developers of the Sia Storage Podium. That is obtainable for Apple pc Linux and Windows OS and is the most safe Siacoin wallets, shareholders can use. It is appropriate with iOS products in addition to is considered the ideal Siacoin wallet IOS. You must check the Siacoin wallet street address thoroughly before sending. By today, no even more wallets are supporting Siacoin, but as its getting well-known, more wallets can also commence supporting this.

[roydenton60-blog]

Siacoin Wallet (SIA-UI)

Sia is a decentralized podium of storage, guaranteed from the blockchain engineering. Often the Sia Storage Program (SSP) harnesses underutilized potential about the world to make a info storage space place that is certainly whole lot more reliable and lower price in comparison with traditional cloud storage space vendors. Sia distributes plus codes your files throughout a decentralized network exactly where you regulate your exclusive encryption secrets and may own your data. No third party can get or perhaps control your files, contrary to traditional cloud safe-keeping vendors. On average, Sia's decentralized fog up storage expenses 90% lower than incumbent fog up storage services. Sia shops and distributes well not required report segments with nodes over the globe, reducing almost any single point of failing and ensuring uptime that rivals traditional cloud safe-keeping providers. Sia Wallet Download v1.3.5 is one of the top fourty cryptocurrencies by market capitalization. Sia is a new venture which offers a good personal, decentralized and secure cloud-based storage platform hosted for the blockchain for a portion of the price of other well-known storage websites many of these as Dropbox, Amazon S3, and Google Drive Tanto, as a concept, seemed to be first dreamed up at HackMIT, an annual student-run hackathon, back in 2013 in addition to was officially introduced within June of 2015; that is now backed by Boston-based firm Nebulous Inc., whose self-proclaimed mantra is: �Re-decentralizing the Internet�. The essential idea is that instead of hiring storage by a central bank involving servers, as is typical with regular cloud-based tools, peers on the Sia system rent space coming from every different via it is �distributed cloud storage platform�. Sia employs erasure coding (distributing protected fragments associated with data redundantly across this network) and an impartial blockchain with tokens known as �Siacoins� to support the network. Contrary to most new gold coins, Sia�s launch wasn�t forwent by simply an ICO or perhaps pre-mining; instead, Sia commenced life when its genesis block was mined. Due to prominent investors such because Procyon Ventures, Raptor Team, Fenbushi Capital, along having angel traders like Xiaolai Li, typically the Sia staff managed to elevate around $1. 25 , 000, 000 in funding without an ICO. Who�s Behind It? Contents [Show] Sia is definitely supported by the Nebulous enhancement team which is made up of a main team of several industry folks all established to see Tanto succeed. Nebulous� focus can be reputable, decentralized infrastructure to help you carry forward the future in addition to Sia is the primary venture of the Nebulous team. TwitterFacebookGoogle+BufferLinkedIn Sia is usually a project that provides a good private, decentralized and safe and sound cloud-based storage platform published on the blockchain regarding a good fraction of the price of other favorite storage area platforms such since Dropbox, Amazon S3, and Google and yahoo Drive. Sia, since a good concept, was initially dreamed up at HackMIT, an yearly student-run hackathon, back in 2013 and was officially launched throughout Summer of 2015; it is now backed by Boston-based business Nebulous Incorporation., whose self-proclaimed mantra can be: �Re-decentralizing this Internet�. The basic idea is the fact as a substitute of renting hard drive by a central bank associated with servers, as is typically the norm with traditional cloud-based platforms, associates on the Sia platform lease living space from each other by means of its �distributed cloud safe-keeping platform�. Sia employs erasure coding (distributing encrypted pieces of data redundantly all over the particular network) and the indie blockchain with bridal party referred to as �Siacoins� to help the circle. Unlike Siacoin Wallet Download 1.3.5 , Sia�s launch wasn�t forwent by a ICO or maybe pre-mining; alternatively, Sia begun life any time its genesis block was mined. On account of prominent investors such as Procyon Undertakings, Raptor Group, Fenbushi Capital, along with angel traders like Xiaolai Li, often the Sia team been able to boost over $1. 25 million in funding without the ICO. Who�s Behind That? Contents [Show] Tanto is backed by the Nebulous enhancement group which has a key team involving five industry people all determined to see Sia become successful. Nebulous� focus is reliable, decentralized infrastructure to assist bring forward the prospect plus Sia is the particular primary venture of typically the Nebulous team. 3Commas Donald Vorick is cofounder and even CEO at Nebulous. He�s a talented programmer with a degree in pc science who spent a little while as a software creator prior to taking the reins at Nebulous where he or she is an critical component in the management involving the Sia project. Jake Miltenberger, founder of Nebulous, is an National venture capitalist, entrepreneur in addition to investment decision banker for growing development companies. Siacoin Wallet v1.3.7 at present acts as Associate for often the Professional Markets Group at Stifel Nicolaus, 1 day their time to the group�s expense savings and Vectis II fund management activities. John founded Nebulous in last year as a niche asking business. Luke Champine is co-founder in Nebulous wherever he specialises on paper program to re-decentralize the web. He studied Computer plus Systems Engineering for 3 or more several years, before him plus a good friend were, in his words and phrases �bitten by the start-up bug� and gone onto cofound Nebulous. He�s earlier worked in Akamai and even Kronos, correspondingly. Other business friends incorporate Jae Heller, which takes care of company growth, and Drew Volpe, Nebulous� mother board observer. Heller is a forward-thinking entrepreneur and marketing strategist having the appetite in order to interrupt, generate and reinvent items and experiences which alter industrial sectors, engage consumers, together with make it possible for positive change. Volpe is an investor, businessman, plus technologist with the tough history in research, machine learning, receptors, together with mobile technologies. Precisely why Could very well this be Massive? Tanto has the potential for you to disturb a multibillion $ sector, namely the hard drive from the world�s files inside a way that is somewhat more private, more secure, in addition to more charge successful when compared to how ever before. With virtually no need regarding a good middle bank connected with severs upon which to store data, Sia could definitely revolutionise the cloud storage space field by utilizing blockchain technological innovation to fit peer-to-peer file safe-keeping. How it works can be hosts and even renters employ in file agreements which will is essentially an understanding concerning the storage supplier plus the consumer; this can take place ahead of any storage area is supplied. The purchaser pays the particular Siacoins advance to the blockchain, which usually acts as an earnest service, with the past deal serving as often the rules to get arbitration. If the contract will be achieved and the storage service submits a proof associated with hard drive, the storage supplier will be compensated and, in case not, typically the coins happen to be returned to the tenant. Sia�s site states: �as associated with January 2016, storage is definitely about $2. 25/TB/month with 6x redundancy�, nevertheless genuine prices differ slightly. Siapulse. com claims to keep track of market rates and selling price conversions. The SiaExplorer from the official Sia domain as well caters for blockchain search, wherever some basic metadata regarding plans and purchases can be viewed. If, in practice, Sia manages to have even close in order to $2. 25/TB and typically the Nebulous team will be able to properly market their remedy, it could spell big problems for the likes regarding Yahoo, Amazon and Dropbox. Siacoin Funds Although Sia could not hold an ICO, they will do crowd account with the sale of �Siafunds� which are a secondary cryptocurrency and pay out a few. 9% of all productive storage area contract payouts to the holders of this Siafunds. 10, 1000 Siafunds were issued altogether, and about 1, 000 were sold in the crowd-sale plus the rest held by the enhancement team. That is no longer probable to purchase Siafunds unless of course you acquire one directly from the holder, many people are sometimes offered available for purchase on their subreddit or even Slack trading channel. At this time there is presently no lite budget available for storing your own Sia Gold coins so you have to download the particular Sia UI client which will synchronize the blockchain in your local machine. This required several hours to down load when I first arranged this up so end up being given notice, possibly you have to leave your computer about just about all day to get typically the full blockchain. You could create your pocket inside the app, you will get given some sort of seed which usually is a new number of words � store that anywhere safe as this is precisely how your wallet is supported, you will want it if you want to reconstruct your pocket book. Once you have your wallet synced, you can begin sending and receiving Siacoins plus come to be the host or web host your own files on the particular system. Conclusion Siacoin seems to be like it can be an exciting project. Peer-to-peer hard drive could very well be the particular future of file storage space as our respective cyberspace foot prints grow larger having each passing year, continuously filling up the machines at Amazon, Google together with the like. From your making an investment point of view, Sia did very well around the last six several weeks and contains proven itself to help be a good resilient plus often bullish tool. A quick glance at typically the relevant chart regarding the coin�s flight, plus you will get a good concept of often the amazing journey Tanto provides recently been on for the last a couple of years or so considering its introduction. Acquiring claimed that, one thing which is causing the Nebulous development team concern is, when you can believe it, this speed where the humble Siacoin has surged around value. The reason with regard to this can be that the pretty concept of Sia depends on Siacoins being employed being a transaction for expert services provided, certainly not, as several seem to believe, while some sort of purchase motor vehicle. Only time will certainly explain to whether the crew are able to successfully stabilize often the currency, as a result rendering that fit with regard to purpose which often could deter potential investors in the particular coin. Another place with regard to concern is the challengers which are now coming into the forex market, for instance Storj which usually just held the successful ICO where many people raised $30mm in bridal party and have combined with the extremely popular FILE TRANSFER PROTOCOL program Filezilla to use their very own product instantly in it�s interface. That can be predicted that the fog up storage sector could end up being worth $74billion by 2021, if Sia can move some way to acquiring a part of this specific market from the recognized companies such as Dropbox, 'microsoft' and Google next it can demonstrate to help be a very lucrative investment. Sia-UI is 1 of the greatest Siacoin wallets online to store your own Siacoin. It's also the one official app made by Nebulous, the developers connected with the Sia Storage System. This can be found for Mac pc Linux and even Windows COMPUTER ITSELF and is the most safe Siacoin wallets, traders could use. It is compatible with iOS devices together with is considered the most effective Siacoin wallet IOS. An individual must double check the Siacoin wallet street address thoroughly just before sending. As of now, no extra wallets are supporting Siacoin, but as its growing to be favorite, more wallets will also start out supporting it.

[sol1056]

the consequences of unexplored implications

One of the hardest things to do in writing (above and beyond all the regular hard things) is recognizing the unexplored implications. Some of these can be more obvious with some simple stats: how many characters are male vs female? how many white characters get speaking parts or are named, vs how many non-white? 

Others take a bit more thought, like realizing the only female characters are unnamed prostitutes, or the only Hispanic characters are janitors. Sometimes it means untangling a well-meaning attempt to subvert a racist trope (ie uncivilized/inferior primitives) that actually ended up unwittingly in a completely different but equally racist trope (ie the noble savage). 

And then there’s a really tricky one to realize, that at least in my experience needs a big-picture view of the entire story. Only then can you see how seemingly independent parts, when overlapped, result in unfortunate implications. 

It’s this last one that I’m starting to twig on, in VLD. And it comes from a combination of a particularly pernicious trope in American media, the canonical relationship between Keith and Shiro, and the purpose of repetition in stories.

the bury your gays trope

Basically, this trope shows up when a story establishes a happy queer relationship, and immediately decides one of the two must die. 

Often, especially in older works (to the extent that they are found in older works, of course), gay characters just aren't allowed happy endings. Even if they do end up having some kind of relationship, at least one half of the couple, often the one who was more aggressive in pursuing a relationship, thus "perverting" the other one, has to die at the end. ... Nowadays, when opinions on sexuality have shifted somewhat, this justification will often be attempted via Too Good for This Sinful Earth. Sometimes it's because the Magical Queer has died in a Heroic Sacrifice so that the straights may live. 

(Also, for some reason, it’s a particular favorite to have one-half of a lesbian couple killed by a stray bullet. Google it.)

Honestly, this trope is so pervasive, it’s damn hard watching popular media. You end up constantly braced for the inevitable death (sometimes followed by the surviving partner going totally evil, a la Willow in BtVS). Well, unless the relationship is toxic or controlling, and then the implication is that het relationships are the only healthy ones, but that’s a slightly different trope. 

In short: if you’re queer, happy endings are not for you. And if you do manage to get a happy ending (ie Bill in Dr Who), you had to suffer ten times as much as anyone else to get there. Compared to het relationships in the same story, it’s always the queer couples that suffer the most. One way or another.

canonical and word-of-god Shiro/Keith

Assumption: Keith and Shiro have an emotional bond much deeper than any couple we’ve seen on-screen. The very least one could say is that they have a deep relationship, albeit presumably platonic. (I should also note that I do consider ‘platonic’ love to be an equal to ‘romantic’ love; it’s just a different type of consummation.) 

Apart from that, there’s word-of-god: the EPs’ comments (ie “beloved mentor”), VA interviews, and various directors/artists posting sheith images with romantic vibes. Yes, that’s all non-canonical, but the message is: if you read this platonic as simply pre-romantic, well, the series’ creators are there with you. 

I will note, I don’t consider this as representation. In canon or it doesn’t count! (Looking at you, Rowling.) Still, word-of-god is clearly impacting the fandom’s interpretations of the relationship.  

using repetition in stories

The try/fail cycle and repetition have a core element in common: an event repeats until the character learns what they need to achieve victory/resolution. The difference is that in try/fail, the character should move up each time. In repetition, the character must re-experience a lesson they failed the first time.

To compare: 

try/fail: the antagonist has a black belt! get white belt, challenge antagonist, fail. okay, green belt! challenge antagonist, fail. next belt!

repetition: the antagonist has a black belt! test for white belt, fail. test for white belt again, fail. test for white belt again... 

When the overall plot’s try/fail is too similar, readers will see the protagonist as too stupid to quit (or change tactics). Repetition works best as a recurring motif: event A, parallel event B, character learns and changes, we have development, and this happens in support of, or alongside, the plot’s try/fail cycle.

Example: if Lance were to flirt with ten different girls and they all shot him down, that’s try/fail. His development is via repetition: it’s a repeating pattern with Allura, until he learns to take a different approach.

Here’s the important thing: like try/fail, repetition is a lesson to be learned. Most readers assume repetition means the previous instances were failures. If the character does the exact same thing and this time it goes beautifully, expect some side-eying from your more astute readers. 

But at the same time, if the character had no control over the outcome in previous instances, expect frustration instead. Readers will intuit the story is indulging in a kind of victim-blaming: the character had no power to ‘do it right’ before, yet the repetition implies that failure was their fault.

And that brings us to how these three parts, combined, make me see some seriously unfortunate implications in VLD.

all three together

So we have sort of this gray-area kinetic-platonic, potential-romantic, relationship. And twice now, one-half of that relationship has been, well, not killed, but sort of killed. Gone, vanished. The other half is left behind, grieving. It’s implied Keith fell apart the first time, and then we got to see it on-screen, the second time. 

It doesn’t actually matter whether S3/S4 Shiro is the ‘real’ one. If he’s not, then we have a third loss. If he is -- but compromised as a tool of the empire -- then it’s still a loss, if a psychological one. He’s there, it’s just not... him, anymore.

In other words, three times that a potential-queer relationship has been put through a Kill Your Gays maneuver that ended up being just a ploy. 

Done once, it could’ve been a subversion of the trope. Aha, the writers could say, we didn’t kill anyone, instead, we brought him back! Yes, one-half of the couple (and later, we find out, both halves) suffered during the separation, but since that’s mostly backstory, it’s all good, they’re happy now. Carry on, Jeeves.

Done twice, the writers not only re-triggered a possible KYG interpretation, they also tripped over the issue of repetition. Remember, the repetition is a lesson -- something must be learned, to prevent its recurrence. 

The problem is removing Shiro leaves Keith to experience the aftermath. By default, he takes the protagonist’s role, and according to the literary convention, he has to learn something to prevent a repeat. But in neither instance -- the Kerberos mission, or Shiro’s disappearance from Black -- does the story give any indication that Keith had a direct impact on the outcome. He did nothing to cause either, therefore there’s nothing he could feasibly do to fix either. 

That makes it especially infuriating that the third time around, one could conceivably say: gee, Keith kept looking, until he found this not-Shiro. If not-Shiro does any damage, that can be traced back to Keith. 

On its own, that could be an interesting dilemma. Taken in light of repetition, not so good. The unfortunate implication is he should’ve learned from the previous two times, and his failure to do so is the reason he ended up here.   

what’s the lesson, then?

Is it: stop caring for this person? Is it: loving someone that much means you have to suffer? Is it: you can’t just be happy? Is it: if you want to try for happiness, you have to earn the right to it? 

How is it that Lance can just flirt, make peace, and develop a deep friendship with Allura -- and neither are forced to undergo repeated trauma in the process? Or that Pidge has just one scene of implied loss, and it’s over and resolved in the same episode? Yet meanwhile Keith -- the only one with a same-sex relationship of significant depth -- has to lose, and lose, and lose? 

Maybe the writers figured: well, it’s not really death, it doesn’t count, let’s go ahead and yank that chain a second and third time. The story is blind to how their plot-twists aren’t all that better. It's still the same old bullshit: if you’re queer, you don’t get the happy ending. And if you do, it can’t be the simple meet-like-love of a het relationship. You’ve got to suffer for it.  

But the story they’ve written, and the choices they’ve made, tell me: these implications are not on their radar. Worse, I end up feeling like they don’t care enough to even put it on their radar.

That’s why it really bothers me when the EPs say they’re pushing for queer representation. Because if the writers can’t even see the implications of doing this to a deeply caring platonic relationship between two people of the same gender, like hell if I want to see what they’d do to an actual, onscreen, queer relationship. 

If you are rising up right now to insist ‘this is what the story demanded!’, I strongly recommend you go read this post: this is a jar full of major characters. Yes, that post is talking about black characters vs white, but it goes for any marginalized group, including lgbtqia.

Bottom line: no story demands anything. You’re the goddamn writer; you control the story. If you write shit, you’re a shitty writer. 

Think harder. Dig deeper. Do better. 

#writing #voltron legendary defender #analysis #tropes #queer media #sol thinks about stuff

[katrinapavela]

#Scandal Season 6 Poster and Pre-Season Thoughts

This may be a little tardy for the party, but I had to write it anyway.Let’s get into this S6 poster. Most of what grabs me gives me hope. I’m cautiously optimistic. Much like my Fitzgerald, I live on hope (shout out to my grandmother); it’s how I cope with living in this world. I’d like to talk about three aspects of the poster and my general desires for Olivia’s character this season: the hair, the colour white, and the tag line. I’ll also address how I think Fitz fits into all this. 

The Hair

As someone who prefers Liv’s hair with soft waves, her hair is getting out of control in the curl department. Girlfriend’s style-ometer seems firmly stuck between Shirley Temple and Shirley Chisolm.

#DisTewMuch

If the straight hair is going to bring back some sleekness, then praise Jehovah. From recent previews, it seems evident that Liv stays Temple curled up for at least half the season, or so. I don’t know if going back to straight hair is a ‘new year, new me’ attempt, as it seemed to be after Fitz canceled their relationship in season 2 (213). I don’t, necessarily, associate straight hair with anything good. But at this point I don’t know if I can be any more annoyed with Liv’s behaviour and style than I was in 5B. But I would never leave her at her lowest, and by god, 5B saw her in a low way.

The Colour White

Speaking of Liv’s style, boy was I happy to see her cloaked in white. The most white we’ve ever seen on the poster. It is intentionally visible in a way it has not been since the S3 poster. The difference between the two posters is, of course, Olivia’s posture.

Season 3’s poster was branded with the tagline The secret is out. Olivia seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on her back due to the outing of that secret, and the set of events triggered from it. She spent much of the season in stark contrasting colours of black, white, or a mix of the two. Her world could not accommodate the ambiguity of shades of grey and soft neutrals.

This time around, Liv in white seems purposeful, but the slightly sinister smize has me a little shook.

It’s just a feeling. After seeing meme’s of Queen Michele Obama’s face from Trump’s Infrauduration maybe Olivia’s face reflects a fed up Black woman who wants us to know she’s watching her back because there ain’t no stoppin’ her now, she’s on the move. To where? I hope it’s not to the White House with Mellie. If that look of Liv’s is one of self-protection, I get it. That sentiment, paired with a return to white has me like

, Shonda. I need this to be good!

Liv has been a kaleidoscope of colour since leaving Fitz and the White House behind. It’s been a little dizzying to get used to, frankly. I have a fondness for seeing Olivia in marigolds and mustard hues. They complement her golden undertones, and feel sumptuous and soothing my eye. BUT. I am so fucking fed up with seeing her in other primary and jewel tones, especially red. Rowan’s name literally means ‘little red one’. And since 509, Liv has become little Rowan, constantly rolling up to his red door (often wearing the colour red).

Liv has become even more of his daughter (the thing he possesses) since she left the White House. Every time I see her in blood orange, crimson or scarlet, my blood boils. I hate the association because I hate Olivia and Rowan’s relationship. The colour inspires rage, not respect or power. I felt more of Olivia’s rage in 5B than I did her power. The latter, in the back half of last season, were much like her new vibrant clothing: a façade concealing the naked truth beneath.

A return to white coats would mean Liv believes in working on the side of good again. When last we saw her in white, she was trying to help that gay Bandari translator find asylum in the US, while combating undercover fuckery that would tank her Presidential Boo’s peace accord with Bandar.

I haven’t the faintest interest in Olivia Pope as Washington’s White Knight, unless she can erect boundaries to protect the flawed person that she is (and accepts). A superhero isn’t fully human. To me, a return to white would signal that Olivia believes in something again. One of the reason’s I grew to dislike her in 5B was her rudderless navigation system. She had no compass which served to ground her, and, consequently, tripped up over herself and made desperate decisions. Many of those decisions were guided by her pursuit of the most basic ass, narcissistic interpretation of power: proving that she was a winner by propelling herself back into the Oval, by any means necessary. She would not have to contend with ‘weak’ things like love this time.

As much as I loathe them both, Jake and Rowan said two useful things that I apply to Olivia:

Jake: “Dare to be normal, Liv!” (521)

Rowan: “True power is never lost” (504)

True power is never lost because it comes from within, and then gets projected outward. It is not guided by others or the external world. In 5B, the idea of 1600 Pennsylvania avenue and power was forcefully monologued to Olivia. She associates it with access and escape from being ‘normal’, something she told us she wasn’t back in the pilot episode (101). Fear of normal in the Olitz relationship is, partly, what drove Liv from the East Wing.

Liv did no inside work after leaving the White House, opting instead for a peacock wardrobe and a new (stanker) attitude as band-aids over a gaping wound of loss. I understand the impulse. Often when people are hurt, traumatized or afraid, the impulse is to adopt a tough, take-no-prisoners attitude as a warped and basic interpretation of strength. Fear can make people scary and violent, releasing their worst instincts. (Look no further than white people channelling their fear of losing their manufactured sense of superiority by electing Donald Trump as their Hocus Potus.) So, what Olivia became was no surprise. Shonda is not gonna convince me that 5B’s Olivia was a confident woman who had come into her own.

What I saw was a lot of desperation.

However, as predicted, Liv got closer to her father after leaving Fitz. Though she’ll never be in his good grace, I think the attempt was necessary to her journey to self-hood. Olivia spent so much time denying any similarities between the two, insisting since S3 that she was nothing like Rowan (409), and that her mother’s influence had been prominent (305). But the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, poison though it may be (419). As the seasons have progressed we, as an audience, have become painfully aware of the similarities between father and daughter. I don’t think Liv is ruined, as both mother (409) and father (518) have suggested. However, a journey that allows Olivia to accept that Rowan is as much a part of her as her mother is has merit. Even if it’s difficult to watch. By 520, Liv was crying into the arms of Huck because she realized that she’s not better than Rowan after all—the very thing she had prided herself on. She’s not destined to be him either. That’s the place she needs to get to.

The Tagline

This season’s tagline is The balance of power is about to shift. The obvious connection here is the result of the election, and impending change of POTUS in the Scandalverse. Let’s be real, when it comes to Olivia’s character, the balance of power needs to shift. The poor girl has had a lot of knocks, and neglected to give herself the time or care she needs to rebound from all that trauma. What I saw in 5B was a woman who behaved like an addict, using familiar people as substances to manage her pain, instead of confronting it. Let’s look at her circle of influence:

Rowan—the man who has tilted Liv’s balance of power since season 2B. The man responsible for Liv’s pursuit of masculinist power in 5B. The man whose narcissism failed his daughter’s emotional development, and, instead, infected her further with his sickness: “chaos stokes our fire” (512). Narcissists and addicts thrive on chaos for different reasons.  

Jake—A man who, instead of working on his own past and present pain, goes back to Olivia so they can wallow in the muck like two addicts. A man who resumed his role as a psychosexual extension of Olivia’s father, complete with the same gaslighting techniques and disregard for her feelings (514, 518). A man who is dependent on Olivia in a way she can’t resist: perpetual victim.

Mellie—A woman whose envy of patriarchal power that put her on a quest that aligned with the same one Rowan put his daughter on. A woman who claims to be friends with Olivia, but wouldn’t put up $5,000 (from the grip she got from the divorce) toward protecting Liv from Andrew (518). There’s too much to say about their past for me to believe this is a friendship that will outlast their usefulness to each other. From what I see, Kimberlé Crenshaw and Audre Lorde would look at this relationship and just

Olivia isn’t better than any of these people, and they don’t challenge her to be better. All three of them have been too manipulative in the past, actively perpetuating harm against her. I’m sorry, but I can’t see her decision to surround herself with them as a woman coming into her power. I see it as a woman who is afraid to reconcile her desires with emotional barriers that keep her from a life she wants. Or, maybe she’s a woman who doesn’t know what she wants, but knows what she’s good at—no matter how much it harms her.

I want the balance of power to shift in Liv’s direction. Part of that entails her excavating that emotional scar tissue to access the power she needs. She needs and intervention. She needs a therapist. She needs a good friend without a penis, who can be truthful. She needs a black woman. She needs her mama.

A balance of power that sifts to an internally defined sense of power is what Audre Lorde (1984) calls ‘the erotic’. It comes from a deeply feminine place. This would contrast with the more masculinist power we see Liv chase in 5B.

But what about Fitz?

Fitz, for me, has always been a reflection of something inside of Olivia that she seeks. He’s a key part of her journey, not as some male accessory she needs to collect to feel complete as a woman, but as a reflection of herself. In the absence of her mother, he represents a maternal source of love—one that is unconditional, renewable, never ending, compassionate, protective. I left Fitz out of the ‘need’ category because I want Liv to be ready to want Fitz. She thought he was going to make her happy when she ran to him in 422. But she wasn’t ready to do the work, still dependent on drama in their relationship. I have wanted them to cultivate a friendship since S4. I hope to get my wish this season, especially after Fitz leaves the White House. Perhaps after Liv loses the presidential race (I can’t see Mellie winning), perhaps she and Fitz can work together on their shared political ideologies to produce some much needed good in the world. They don’t need to be in the White House for that. Sure is pure fire together, but a big contributor to that heat is how great they work together as a team. I miss that.

Fitz is in a good place. He did the work after the break up in 509. He erected boundaries and listened to criticism. I want Liv to get to that place in a way that serves her well. If Liv cannot deal with the spectre of her past, she can’t truly own her power.

#Scandal #Season 6 #Olivia Pope #Fitzgerald Grant #Olitz

[etoiledunord]

Thoughts on The Magicians S3

(Only slightly late to the party this time!)

SO MANY SPOILERS BEHIND THE KEEP READING LINK

* Is the Monster who/what I think it is, based on the books? I mean, it seems to have changed/evolved some, possibly due to killing everything else in the castle, but it feels like it could indeed be the same as in the books. It’ll be interesting to see what they do with that.

* I keep going back and forth with myself as to whether Penny 40 has been written out. On the one hand, we have book canon, Penny 23′s appearance (and the truth key including him), and the way other characters have begun referring to Penny 40 in past tense. On the other hand, we have Kady not about to give up Penny 40, and the fact that it would be very useful to have someone on the inside when dealing with the Library. When Penny 23 went through the portal, I actually thought ‘Well, there’s Penny’s new body.” (Oh, and I just googled and found an interview where the writers say that they have two Pennys and haven’t forgotten that.  So yay for that!)

* Iirc, in the books, Penny and Julia aren’t even aware of each other’s existence (beyond what Penny may learn via the Libaray).  This makes the soulmate thing particularly amusing and wtf to me.  Then again, the same can be said about Penny and Kady/Asmo, but at least the show built their relationship up so it makes more sense in context. (tl;dr: I like show Penny and don’t want to give up the OG version of him, I like him and Kady together, and the whole randomly in love with Julia thing just strikes me as pointless and kind of ridiculous.)

* Is Hyman still around? Did no one use the truth key to tell him to gtfo?

* I bawled like a baby over the mosaic timeline. I have a weakness for the trope where weary heroes get quiet happy lives, and Eliot’s death was so sad. I was slightly off-put by how easily they both left behind everyone else they cared about, but I guess it wasn’t like they could just go home, even if they wanted to. I want more information about how much they actually remember about that timeline. Also, going by the show’s time travel rules, Quentin’s grandkids and their descendants are probably still running around Fillory, so that should be interesting.

* I am not ok with Benedict’s death. I wasn’t ok with him being a comic relief character in season 2, either, and the whole thing where he just jumped off the ship because of the depression key was awful. I mean, his death in the books only really had the purpose of being tragic, but the fact that he grew into himself first and then was killed by someone else makes a big difference, imo. I’m kind of glad that he at least got a decent afterlife, even though I’m not fond of the Library, because Benedict in the Underworld in the books is one of the more disturbing things I’ve read. Maybe he can also participate in the whole dealing with the Library thing in season 4.

* What’s-her-name, the head Librarian--Zelda Schiff, according to Wikipedia (okie doke). I want to punch her in the nose. Just, wow, I didn’t realize I had so much anger for obstructive bureaucracy. Also, for someone who knows as much as she does, there’s a lot of hubris in playing god like that when actual gods are likely to get cranky about it.

* The younger Floater guy was annoying and I’m glad his penis was bitten by a mutant toad with fangs.

* Omg, how did I forget Poppy?! She... was turned up to 11. And I’m kind of bothered by the fact that she slept with Josh at some point in the past. Josh and Poppy being happy is one of my favourite things about the third book, and the fact that in the show they didn’t just fall in love and live happily ever after is a little disappointing to me.

* I’m tired and not up for really getting into this, but I feel like half the history of Fillory is based on what secrets Jane kept from herself. It seems that time travel works on a closed track (like in LOST), given that post-Beast-death Quentin gave pre-Beast-death Jane the time key, thereby proving before any time loops were created that Timeline 40 would be the successful/non-reset one. And at least some version of Jane had to know about the Quest in order to tell Margo where the time key was. But the Jane who called Quentin “the volunteer tomato” in season 1 didn’t know that that would be the successful Timeline, right? Hell, maybe Jane knew that she had to die in order for the Beast to be successfully killed, kind of like how you can only force yourself to make a jump when you know there’s no safety net. In any case, time travel is confusing and rife with possibilities.

* The show took most of the book characters and made them more sympathetic and likeable. The two big exceptions to this are Alice and Mayakovski. This is kind of interesting, given that they were the characters that the books depicted as being the most like what Quentin wanted to be--skilled and sure of themselves. I’m therefore annoyed at Alice being scared of what she’d do with magic to the point where she tries to stop other people from having it, and at Mayakovski being a pervy old man. Like, neither of them were perfect in the books, but they’ve obviously been changed to be less honourable, and it just feels like it’s a way to make sure that, despite being more skilled, they’re not “better” than Quentin.

* Other than that, though, I spent the whole season going “Alice who?” I get that Quentin’s supposed to be longing for her and Alice is supposed to be reticent due to everything that’s happened, but that doesn’t work as well with Alice actually being alive and doing things. Quentin could pine for dead/niffin!Alice in the books without it really impacting his story or relationships. But with Alice there, it just feels like they’re exes with a complicated past and not much present. Quentin’s relationship with Eliot was much more important to me instead.

* Poor Dean Fogg. Timeline 40 finally kills the Beast, and just when you think everything’s going to move forward and be ok, you’re stuck with no magic. I would drink heavily in your situation, too.

* Bloody ghost Eliot scared the crap out of me.

Ok, I’m done for now. If anyone wants to flail with me, go right ahead. ^_^

#The Magicians #spoilers for season three #long post