imgonnapukeit

[imgonnapukeit]

me trying to avoid self diagnosing

[imgonnapukeit]

i don’t know how my family expects me to get my siblings up every single day when it’s so fucking difficult to get out of bed how am i supposed to have the energy for this shit

[imgonnapukeit]

i want a redo of my childhood so bad. so so bad, so badly, please, please please please i cant do this, please just let me go back and be treated kindly, i promjse ill be good i cant live like this, i cant, my brain is broken and my body hurts andd i cant take it i cant do it i cant do anything

[imgonnapukeit]

i take my SAT’s tomorrow and im so nervous tbh

[imgonnapukeit]

well my bsf of 4 yrs ended our friendship by just blocking me on everything, no preface, no talk, no explanation no nothing even though literally yesterday i gave her a way to bc i texted asking if we were still friends bc i felt the vibes were off and she could’ve easily said “sorry i don’t think i want to be friends anymore” but she didn’t answer no instead just leave without a word knowing damn well i have terrible abandonment issues you fucking cunt. the only reason ik her bullshit reason is bc i texted her sister asking her to ask and apparently she said some bs ab needing to “cut off ppl who are holding me back to grow” which yknow what fuckin fine but fucking don’t be a pussy about it just fucking tell me instead of doing that shit to someone who literally has trust issues and abandonment issues and probably bpd which you’re very fucking aware you piece of shit omfg

[imgonnapukeit]

shamelessly stole this from edanonymemes

[imgonnapukeit]

my life is falling apart lolz

[imgonnapukeit]

yea no that shit hurts like hell my right nostril feels like it’s one fire or gonna bleed any minute now and my throat stings lmao

bouta try snorting one of my leftover prozac bc i figure if it makes me manic after a few days of taking it snorting it should give me a manic effect right ? i’ve heard it hurts like hell but oh well gotta do what u gotta do

[imgonnapukeit]

bouta try snorting one of my leftover prozac bc i figure if it makes me manic after a few days of taking it snorting it should give me a manic effect right ? i’ve heard it hurts like hell but oh well gotta do what u gotta do

[imgonnapukeit]

my currently only reason for not oding right this moment is that my aunt isn’t home to take me to a hospital if i end up regretting it and i don’t want an ambulance at my house

fr tho im shaking from how badly i just want to end it i can’t do this shit anymore

[imgonnapukeit]

no bc where tf do people get drugs from???? this is /gen btw because i need to drown out these feelings anyway i can i’ve ran out of money for alcohol, i’ve tried snorting my lamotrigine but it doesn’t have a high effect, i can’t enjoy weed bc i always get anxiety for at least an hour and like none of my family have meds for anything that will actually get me high i just need to feel something, something good before i actually kms i can’t do this anymore

[imgonnapukeit]

i have lost any even tiny grasp i once had on reality nothing is real this is all either a dream or im dead and now floating around nothing matters and i’m going insane but im not even real so it’s fine

[imgonnapukeit]

i’ve been binging and purging non stop wtf is this

[imgonnapukeit]

sorry i haven’t been very active i’ve been binging non stop, fantasying ab committing suicide, getting drunk, and watching shows to try and stop from killing my self so

[imgonnapukeit]

i’m ab to be all out of my my alcohol and i don’t have money to buy more im gonna go insane

[imgonnapukeit]

i exist and everything is real *slams my head into the wall*

[imgonnapukeit]

I hate how the day after a binge my body's like "heyyyY 🤪 time to binge again bestie" like SHH let it be a one time thing and leave me alone 😭