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boydepartment · 3 months

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weird cat guy- nishimura riki x reader

a/n: THIS WAS REQUESTED BY @angrybananapolice I HOPE ITS OKAY <3

request: can i req a comfort kinda fluff with Riki? reader is that kind of friend who's like a side character in her own life. Like, she isn't known by her name, she's known as her best friend's friend. You get me? so basically, reader isn't recognised a lot but then Riki somehow waltzes into her life blah blah thats all on you and then they kiss at the end because :)

warnings: cursing, insecurity, angst, comfort, fluff, kinda romcom

wc- 600-800 words

MASTERLIST

in school you were pretty invisible, you didn’t talk much and when you did your friend would accidentally overshadow you. you don’t think she meant to, it just happened.

it was really frustrating you inside but you never were going to say anything. at the end of the day school wasn’t forever and you could move on with your life in a couple years max. there was no reason to make a scene or beg for attention.

that’s how your life was, blending into the background. who were you to change it?

when you walked to school with your friend you listened to her go on and on about some annoying guy in her dms. you thought she didn’t realize how lucky she was for people to actually have a romantic interest in her. you had a feeling something like this would never happen to you. a guy making a fool of himself to gain your attention? funny.

“he was so annoying all he did was yap!” you felt her hand on your shoulder. you couldn’t help but laugh along, no matter how you were feeling- she had a point.

“he really did sound like a yapper.” you started to joke with her as she continued.

“and his instagram was a little odd too! wait look!”

you watched as she pulled up his instagram, you both spent time poking fun and giggling. it was almost like middle school again.

until you got to the school building, then you faded in the background. you loved your best friend just not at school. she talked to way more people and left you by yourself socially. she would drag you around and then not truly include you.

and that’s how you’d spend your days, doodling on your math notes, messing with your shoes under the desk, and trying not to fall asleep. rinse and repeat…

however one thing did happen, on your walk home you were alone because your friend got invited to a study hall.

“i’m sorry y/n… will you be okay on your way home?”

you nodded and smiled at her, forced, “yeah of course! don’t worry about it!”

you started your journey home by yourself, at this point you should’ve gotten used to it. being alone. it was almost tranquil and you felt like nothing could ruin this moment for you. no school, no stress anymore, no-

“PLEASE STOP THAT CAT!”

when you looked up you saw a cat and a lanky figure sprinting towards you, the cat jumped on you and scared you so bad you fell over. the guy toppling down with you.

“what the hell!?” you yelled grabbing your head.

the boy looked at you, “i was trying to get that cat! i wanted him!”

you tried to stop the dizziness, “go to a shelter then, you psycho!”

the guy stood up and grabbed your hands to help you up, “that’s too easy!”

you finally looked at him and he was astonishingly attractive, “you’re crazy!” you looked away from him, now embarrassed. you barely talked to people, let alone attractive people. this was so embarrassing! and it was the hot guy’s fault!

“i’m sorry for knocking you over!” he exclaimed, “listen how can i make it up to you!” he stood there tapping his foot.

you grabbed your bag off the floor, “by leaving me alone.”

“come on! i totally knocked you over! well technically the cat did then i tripped over you but that’s not the point!”

you looked at him again, “you can leave me alone and stop being weird towards stray cats.”

at that, you walked away quickly passed him. god knows what that weirdo does on his free time. chasing cats? what a dork.

the next day was like clockwork, you enjoyed your bestfriends company until school, then you lost her. school and your studies were boring- it was a review week.

you sat down at your desk for lunch, your best friend sitting by you but not with you.

“oh y/n what do-“ everytime she tried to talk to you, someone else took her attention. if you tried to talk, someone talked over you.

you learned your lesson quickly.

“i heard that cute guy has been peeking into the classrooms today!” one of her friends exclaimed. one thing you learned was that listening and noting things was key to at least trying to enjoy the social aspect of school. you didn’t have to be involved.

“which one?” your best friend asked. everyone looked at your friend.

“that cat boy! he always chases cats and birds!”

you found yourself giggling slightly, that was ironic. what are the odds?

your best friend gasped, “oh him! he is so cute!”

they started talking amongst themselves until you heard giggling and gasping. probably some arm smacking too. which was typical in the gossip circle.

“oh my gosh it’s him! (b/f/n) he’s probably going to go over to you! what if he asks you out!”

yeah probably. you knew how this was going to play out. she’d go out with him, probably get the ick, then he’d have a bad rep because he fumbled with the school’s flower.

it was then more silent than usual and you had a box of chocolates thrown on your desk.

you looked up and it was cat boy, the psycho that ran into you.

“what’s- what’s this?!” your eyes widened, the boy started to snicker.

“for running into you. my mom told me to get it.” he pulled up his chair in front of you, all eyes were on you both.

“i didn’t even know you went to my school!” you whisper yelled, panicking that the attention was on you. the boy started to unpack his lunch in front of you and you hid your face from everyone.

“likewise!” he spoke and started unpacking his lunch, “do you like cucumbers? my mom always packs them but i don’t really enjoy them.”

he started speaking like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“ummmm…. what are you doing?”

the boy looked up at you, “actually talking to you.” he whispered, “and having lunch. duh.”

your eyes scanned the room, your best friend’s friends still looking at you, including her. you felt nauseous.

“this isn’t a funny joke if you’re pranking me.” you said firmly, the boy looked a little shocked.

“why would i be pranking you? i don’t have friends either.” he said simply and took a sip of his milk, he put the cucumbers on your plate.

you eyed the cucumbers, “is that why you chase cats and birds?”

he looked up at you, giggled, then nodded, “i’m riki by the way..”

“y/n.”

you honestly expected him to hang out with you once and then drop it. but that didn’t happen… he actually continued to hang out with you. be around you, and actually talk to you. riki would remember the little things too.

he started to walk you home and you got so used to his company that it scared you. in your mind you were boring, he was probably just using you to get to your friend. you’d take whatever riki said with a grain of salt, no matter how sweet. why would you risk having feelings for someone who could just be using you?

the weather was starting to warm up and your allergies were not helping you. your head was in pain and school just wasn’t it for you today. the idea of looking at the green chalkboard sounded nauseating.

you stayed home and took pain meds, around 10 am you were trying to make tea when there was a knocking at your door.

that was terrifying, it was only you home. if someone decided to break it you would probably die.

you rushed over and peeked through the window. and there was riki.

you opened the door, “what are you doing here.”

“you weren’t at school, can i come in?”

“can you stop pretending you actually care?” you wrapped your arms around yourself and looked down at his feet. you were getting tired of riki being overly nice to you, especially because to you it was fake. it was a facade.

you heard a surprise noise and then a scoff.

“i’m not pretending! what do you take me for!?”

you finally got the courage to look up at him, “someone who’s way out of my league and probably only using me to get to my friend, it’s happened since middle school, and she likes you too! so go to her! stop wasting my time.” you went to shut the door but riki stopped it.

“what the fuck are you talking about? have i ever mentioned your stupid- no offense- your stupid friend?” riki readjusted the bag on his shoulder, “i got your schoolwork too dumbass, since she said she forgot it. that’s the one and only time i’ve ever spoken to her.”

you looked at him, still in disbelief. riki looked at you, somewhat annoyed.

“y/n i’ve hung out with you everyday for a month, i have no other friends because people either make fun of me for being cat boy or they’re just trying to date me. it’s a weird 50/50.” he said simply, his stare softened.

“riki-“

“what’s that burning smell?”

“FUCK!” you rushed back to see the water boiling over the stove and went to fix it. you were already upset because you couldn’t find the kettle, now you were upset you fucked up.

“god! i can’t do anything right!”

unbeknownst to you riki let himself in, “go lay down. i’ll make tea.”

you flipped around and looked at him, at this point you didn’t feel well, you were overwhelmed, and you just wanted to lay down, “fine… whatever…”

you laid down on the couch and tried to check your notifications, your best friend hadn’t even checked if you were okay. hell, she didn’t even read your text asking to get your work.

sighing you zoned out until you felt a weight next to you, “sit up and drink up.” you listened, mumbling a thank you.

“i like you.”

you choked on your tea, “you what? riki that’s not funny, that’s mean. you’re being mean.” you spoke quickly and waved your hand brushing him off.

“i’m not lying to you, i’ve been hitting on you this entire time!” riki exclaimed and sat back astonished.

you set the tea down, “it’s hard for me to believe you.”

“i know.” he took a deep breath and leaned his head back, “i know. clearly it is.”

you felt bad now, if he was telling the truth you were the one being mean now…

“i’m sorry, im not used to all of this.” you felt your eyes water and riki sprung into action. he softly grabbed your hands, they were freezing.

“i know you aren’t, listen… i lied when i said i didn’t know we went to the same school-“ he blurted out. you looked up at him.

“what.”

“i’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of school but i didn’t know how to tell you and you were always around that stupid group that never talked to you and i felt really bad but i couldn’t say anything because im known as weird cat boy and i just i was trying to catch that cat to try and impress you but i failed-“

around the middle of his speech it was like time stopped, it was now or never.

if it was a joke and your school social life was over then you could transfer online or something.

you sat up on your knees and made the boy face you, before you leaned in and kissed him.

he tensed up before easing into the kiss, when he pulled away softly he chuckled, “i’m sorry for lying about that, it’s the one thing i lied about and i felt embarrassed for liking you for so long.”

you pecked his lips again, “is it embarrassing to like me?”

“NO!” riki said quickly, “absolutely not! i just felt like a loser, NOT BECAUSE-“

you started to laugh, “i’m just teasing you!” when you calmed down you looked at him, riki’s ears were pink and he was just staring at you.

“thank you for being a real friend to me…” you smiled at him, tearing up again.

“can i be your real boyfriend? or am i about to get friendzoned…?”

you laughed again and hugged him, well tackling him, “you can be my real boyfriend!”

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q1ngqve · 2 months

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What if Ratio's s/o is feeling a little insecure about herself and Ratio's like "Are you saying I have bad taste? 🤨 Quite dumb of you to say. Allow me to show you how much I adore you..."

Fingers his s/o to the point where she squirts, and then stuffing his cock inside her cunny while whispering about how much he loves her...

"perfection is not defined by arbitrary standards imposed by society. true beauty emanates from authenticity, and you, my love, possess an authenticity that shines brighter than any star in the cosmos."

CW; insecure reader, fingering, squirting, overstimulation, penetration (v)

he'd be offended (lowkey) because he thinks very highly of you! so don’t blame him when he frowns, a slight downward tilt on his lips as he asks why you would ever feel / think this way

"are you saying I have bad taste? quite dumb of you to say so." despite his harsh words, his tone is soft and comforting, wrapping his arms around you in the process, head resting on your shoulder

you are literally the most amazing person he's ever met (I would say perfect but he knows nobody is perfect), he just couldn't wrap his head around your reasons for being insecure, but he understands that everybody has their low days, and it just so happens to be yours!

and what good is he as your boyfriend if he doesn't cheer you up and show you just how beautiful you are to him?

plants kisses on the side of your neck lovingly, and you giggle softly as his hair tickles you, making him chuckle between his kisses. separates himself from you before grabbing your wrists and leads you to the bed, gesturing for you to lie down

"god, you are beautiful."

leans down to kiss you passionately, tongue running along your bottom lip as he removes your pants, flinging it to the side of the room. you pull back to catch your breath a few seconds later, eyes flickering away from his intense gaze. his red eyes burning straight through the wall you built, staring right into the deepest part of your soul, and you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable

"I'm not..."

your boyfriend's head shakes, a sigh leaving him, "then allow me to prove you otherwise, show you just how much I adore you." your eyes meet his once again, and you feel your cheeks heating up at his statement

with a small nod of head as consent, his hand reaches for your face, cupping your cheek for a moment before moving down to your neck, to your collar bones, his mouth following after the trail he left behind

you squirm in place, feeling extremely insecure about yourself, today really isn't your day. he notices this almost immediately, and distracts you by sucking on your nipple through your shirt, letting his warm tongue prod at the perky bud

whines leave your lips as his hands trail further down, dipping in your damp panties, drawing slow, sensual circles on your clit with his middle finger, "ratio..."

your body tenses when a finger slips in, "stunning. absolutely stunning." a breathy laugh escapes him as your hands fly to the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him fervently, "feels good, hmm?"

another finger joins the first, embarrassing squelching sounds fill the room as he pumps them into you with precision, hitting all your sensitive spots. it doesn't take long before you come undone on his fingers, and you feel a shudder run down your body when he smiles, "one more."

he doesn't give you the chance to calm down, plunging his fingers back in, and you clench around him, hard. the overstimulation making your head go empty, all negative thoughts of your body leaving your brain

when he hits that one spongy spot deep in you, your nails instinctively dig into his shoulders, successfully making your boyfriend smirk at your reaction

"wait— slow down! or I'm gonna—"

and of course he doesn't heed your warning, pushing and curling his fingers at a faster pace, thumb rubbing your clit, the occasional brush of his ring leaves your knees weak, your hips bucking on its own accord, trying to get that delicious friction again

a sudden warmth fills your core, your brain shutting down, and all you could hear was white noise buzzing inside you, your legs clenching together with his arm still between them

ratio curses under his breath at the sight before him — you with your back arched, eyes closed, mouth open, hips grinding against his hand as you ride out your high. he knew you were cumming, but he did not expect you to squirt, drenching his lower arm with your juices, the wetness shining under the bedroom light

your legs are pushed apart as you feel him climb between them, the clanking sound of his belt falling to the ground has you opening your eyes. you find yourself whining his name pathetically at the sight of him stroking his erect dick, the tip red and angry, curving at a slight angle with his veins looking like they may burst anytime

"apologies, my dear, but my patience is running out."

air gets knocked out of your lungs the moment he pushes all the way to the hilt, pulling a scream out from you. your body shakes uncontrollably from the overstimulation, hands desperately clawing at his chest and shoulders, trying to ground yourself with all your might

his hands grab at your hips, lifting you up slightly to thrust into you better as he kisses you again, this time so hard and rushed that your teeth clanks at some point. he'd pull away when you push at him, almost suffocating from the kiss, and you'd watch with tears in your eyes as he grits his teeth, jaw flexing each time he hits your cervix, soft grunts sounding at the back of his throat with each thrust

"you. are. absolutely. phenomenal." each word comes out hoarsely with each thrust, "every inch of you, perfection." tears stream down your face at his words, tiny gasps of whatever insecurities leave your body, "and don't you ever forget that."

you feel your pussy spasming around him, you're so so near to the edge, and you know he will he send you over with ease — angling his hips at the perfect angle, his own high approaching with each spasm of your warm gummy walls

"fuck— cum with me, please."

and you tense, gripping down on him like a vice, barely registering his groan of your name against your neck as you fall over the edge yet again. spurts of hot liquid fill your insides, leaving you a whimpering, crying mess under him. your boyfriend above you pants against your neck, his arms giving out slightly to press his body weight on you, trapping you beneath him, the weight and heat a comforting anchor for you to come back down

it takes a few minutes for the both of you to recover, and when you do, he's already kissing your collarbones, hands kneading your body softly, massaging at the red hand prints of his grip on your hips from before

sobs leave you unexpectedly as you wrap your arms around him, breaking down against his chest, wetting the fabric there. ratio's hands reach for your hair, pushing the fringe on your face back behind your ear, his thumb brushing the stray tears away from your eyes

soft tenderness appears in his own eyes as he leans closer to you, forehead touching yours, "while I may not fully comprehend the intricacies of your emotions, rest assured that my commitment to you remains unwavering. you are the reason my heart beats with such fervor, and you are cherished beyond measure."

you break into small giggles as more tears pour, and your hand reaching up to cup his face when you notice his nose and eyes turning red, tears welling in those beautiful shades of red and purple

"I love you."

#i took way too long with this #wanted it to be perfect because i know insecurities can be harsh on everybody #i also think he is the type to cry / be vulnerable whenever he is with his s/o #but that's just my opinion #if him crying at the end is ooc to you #sorry :/#🀥 lan’s writings!#☃︎ anons!#hsr #honkai star rail #dr ratio #dr ratio x reader #hsr dr ratio #veritas ratio #veritas ratio x reader

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luvtak · 1 year

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perfect mix, lhc

❀ pairing bf!haechan x reader

❀ genre/tw pure fluff, oc and haechan are grossly in love, talk about having babies, but no pronouns are mentioned,

❀ w/c 1041

❀ a/n this is the first time ive been brave enough to post my actual writing lol so pls be kind! pls ignore any run on sentences lol<3 also i wrote this mainly for myself hahaha i just love him ☹️

“Do you think we’ll be together forever?”

The question is posed like it’s no big deal—like he could answer anything, and it wouldn’t matter, but Haechan knows you. He knows this is important. He knows just like when you tell him all you’re craving is cereal that your stomach hurts, or when you play Howl’s Moving Castle for the third time in a week that something is wrong. This is important and could greatly change how the night goes. While you’re laying in bed now with tiny smiles, one wrong answer could send you into another Studio Ghibli binge—the last one lasted two weeks where all you watched was Ponyo and Princess Mononoke and wouldn’t let him change it.

“Well, why wouldn’t we be?” He wants to play this right, doesn’t want to be too serious that you get overwhelmed, but he needs you to know he’s being honest. He’s loved you since he saw you. Some people think that’s a lie or an exaggeration, yet it’s true. Ever since he walked into that café and saw you reading in the corner, so excited about the plot of the story, he’s been whipped. He couldn’t believe it when you smiled at him too, or when you agreed to get coffee together next time. His feelings for you are so big that he can’t see them ever going away, and maybe that’s how everyone in love feels. Maybe people say this every day and then suddenly they don’t even know the person anymore, but Haechan feels like you’re the exception; he loves you too much for you not to be. So, when he says, “I mean I fall in love with you more and more everyday…” He means it, he wakes up every morning finding new reasons to fall in love with you, new experiences that initiate the whole sequence over again, so that he’s right where he started.

“Hyuck! I’m being serious!” Your smile is huge, spread across your whole face mirroring his. He likes you best this way, fully and wholly you. All your makeup has been washed away and your hair’s falling around you on the pillow. You’re in his clothes, a big T-shirt and his sweatpants acting as makeshift pajamas, and your body is pressed right against his. The bed is just too small not to be, so every inch of your skin is touching his—chest to chest, with your legs in between his. And God, you’re smile, he would embarrass himself all day just to see it—and trust, he really tries—he loves your smile just as much as you love his, which is a lot. “Do you really think we’ll be together forever, like we’ll get married and have babies and everything?”

“Course I do, I already got it all planned out, we just have to wait until everything calms down.” You know he means it; it’s written all over his face: all the plans he has for the two of you. He’s always been so sweet, never letting you think anything less of yourself than he does, never letting you be confused about his feelings or his intentions—he told you he loved you as soon as he knew you felt the same and has never let you question it. But it’s hard not to be insecure, not to be at odds with the truth. He’ s so perfect, and so dear to so many people, and it’s difficult to see his love for you over everyone’s love for him, but he always knows exactly how to help. “I mean we’ll have lots of babies, and they all look like you, so pretty.” He has a dumb smile on his face, so fond and happy to be here with you.

The little room is lit up from the candles next to you and its so hot underneath the blanket, but you can’t seem to move. The moment is too lovely, too giddy with his plans for the future. The two of you with a little family. He says all your children will look like you, but you wish they’ll be him—everything from his sparkly eyes to his heart-shaped lips; Perfect from their heads to their toes, and maybe they’ll be as silly and wonderful too, so you tell him. “They should be all you, love, so sweet and so funny, like little suns running around giving everyone a hard time.” His laugh breaks out at this, so smooth, so musical. Secretly you wish they’ll have this too: his easy humor. For you, it’s hard not to be serious, to let things be as they are and find joy in the little things. But Haechan is a wizard at this, letting go of control in hopes of more fun and better times. If you have children, you hope they gain this most of all.

“I don’t know if anyone else would like that, honey, I think they’d be annoyed.” The scoff you release at this is comical, but you can’t believe anyone would dislike him. Sure, he can be mischievous and his playfulness can lead to hurt feelings, but he always kisses it better. He never gives out anything he doesn’t think you’ll be able to take. At his core, he’s a kind boy, just wanting people to laugh with him.

“At you?! Who could be annoyed at you? You’re my favorite person in the whole world.” He knows you mean it. Anyone with eyes could see you meant it. And how could you not when you get to be loved by the warmest boy, so sincere in everything he does.

“You’re my favorite person too, baby, so maybe they’ll be the perfect mix of both—everything you love about me, and everything I love about you.” And how nice does that sound, little things walking around with so much love in them. Never going a day without hearing laughter or joy or the most earnest I love yous. Never second guessing their place in the world or how powerful they can be. It’ll be loud and chaotic, but lovely, and if they’re anything like him, they will be so loved. They’ll be him and they’ll be you, a perfect mix.

#i rlly hope this is good lol #haechan x reader #haechan fluff #donghyuck x reader #haechan #lee donghyuck #nct fluff #nct dream #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #haechan x y/n #hyuck fluff #✧ drabble

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coolprettyleo · 26 days

Text

the traffic lights didn't know - begin again au ☆

wc: 1.2k

tw: depression. heartbroken. lmk if theres more

hughes sister x ryan leonard

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

frankie hughes was in a weird place in her life.

she didnt have the feeling of dreading to go to hockey practice anymore, and call her crazy she missed that feeling. not the sport, she wanted the sport dead in a ditch for what it did to her, but she missed the feeling of hating something so much.

she thought about directing her anger towards drew. but she was way to heartbroken to do that. she wanted to erase all her thoughts of drew, but he invaded every inch of her; her heart, hips, body, and love. there wasn't anything he didnt touch or get too.

frankie was starting to get depressed because she felt like her days were on repeat. over and over again. the only light of her day was when she would see ryan, or whenever he texted her back, and depending your overall happiness on a boy was not in any way smart.

she felt like nothing in her life was okay and resorted to asking the traffic lights if it was all going to be okay. news flash! they didn't know.

at the moment though, she was dressing up for a lunch...meeting with ryan. she wanted to say date, but ryan wanted nothing to do with her romantically, till she was fully over drew.

she wasn't but she thought she was. which is why she had been feeling blue. its not like she still wanted drew though. she just felt embarrassed and insecure. and the fact the reason he didnt want her, was because she was dumb?

I mean frankie knew she was ditzy. her family has always said that her blonde was showing, whenever she was being slow. but thats just family teasing. hearing other people talk about how dumb you are makes you want to crumble and die.

she was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a buzz coming from her bed. it was her phone, which had a text from ryan, saying he was outside.

she quickly finished applying her lip combo and sprayed her favorite perfume, and rushed out. her favorite handbag of course coming in tow.

she loved when her and ryan, were able to hangout. he was always busy and his schedule was always jam-packed so days like these were the best because she finally got too go out and enjoy life.

she had been trying to enjoy it on her own though, she's resorted to taking the long way home from class.

"hi ry" frankie said as she got into his car.

"hey, why are you all dressed? you know were only going to chipotle"

"yes i know. i can read! i honestly just dressed to kill my time. a girl just cant get all cute for no reason?"

"no- I mean- you can. you look cute- i mean you look good." Ryan stumbled face red as he drove.

frankie loved how he'd get all flustered.

"you think I look cute" frankie said, she needed that compliment really bad.

"yeah, you always look cute" softly smiling as he looked over at her, at the red light.

this is why she loved to see ryan. he always put her in the best moods. he made her want to break through the windows she had boarded up and see the love the world was capable of giving. he had the goofiest, cutest smile and freckles that made her want to kiss everyone of them.

she hadn't realized they were starring at each other, till the car behind them honked and cut them out of their trance. both of them turning away with red faces.

"are gabe, will, and jacob coming today?" frankie asked as they pulled into the parking lot. she liked to hang around them, they were all so funny and in a way reminded her of her brothers.

"uhm no, I thought it could be just me and you today. if thats okay- I can call them to come. but lowkey will and gabe are busy with class, but I can make jacob, if that would make you feel bette-"

"ryan! im okay with just us two" she said laughing at his rambling.

"sorry" he cringed.

he opened the door for her, as they walked into chipotle.

and load and behold, drew was in there. laughing with aram in all his glory. she felt like she saw drew everywhere, and the only thing they shared was this damn campus.

she looked back at ryan with a glare.

"did you know?" frankie asked as he followed her sight too drew and aram.

"I swear I didn't. I wouldn't do that to you. we can go somewhere else" he said hoping he didn't just ruin all his chances with her.

as much as frankie wanted to run away and get drunk, she knew the morning would be right around the corner and it wasn't going to change anything. he still wouldn't be hers; not that she wanted him to be.

"no, its fine" she said still walking in. ryan following after her like a puppy. they both ordered and as she was paying she heard ryan dabbing them up.

"you guys wanna sit with us?" drew said motioning over to frankie. he honestly didnt think there was a problem within them.

"uhm-" ryan looked back at her.

"we already planned on going to the park" ryan said as he waved goodbye to them and met frankie whereas she had been filling her water cup, that was full of sprite. she refused to pay for a drink.

"where we sitting" she smiled at him.

"I actually thought we could go to centennial park" he said as he guided her out.

"what- I was fine with sitting in there" frankie said feeling her heart drop because maybe ryan was embarrassed to be seen with her in front of drew.

"drew asked me if we wanted to sit with him"

"oh."

"yeah, I didnt think you wanted too"

"I could of sucked it up"

"you dont have to though"

"no- I want too. I need you to know and see that im over him"

ryan sighed. he knew she wasn't, and he wanted believe her, but he knew her all too well.

"okay" ryan said to frankie.

"okay?" frankie asked confused.

"your over drew"

"I've been saying that"

"then go on a date with me?" ryan asked.

frankie hesiated. did she really want to start this relationship with ryan on a bad foot? it was all going to go bad if it was doomed from the start. she didnt have any romantic feelings left over for drew, but every time she saw him, she had to act like everything was okay; when it wasn't.

"see I knew it! theres my answer" ryan said pulling frankie out of her thoughts.

"ryan" she sighed. if the story was over why was she still writing pages?

"its okay frankie. i already told you i'd wait for you, however long it takes" ryan said looking at her seriously.

her heart fluttered at that, and she softly smiled at him.

"i won't make you wait long leonard" she said pholding out her pinky.

"and I'll hold you too that" he said locking it around hers.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

this idea came from @crazy4minty !! she ate with this lol. i had never made the connection... im seriously thinking about renaming the au to death by a thousand cuts. anyways I have a really bad fever right now, so im probably done with writing for today! <3

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #ryan leonard #gabe perreault #hockey fic #will smith hockey #bc hockey #frankie x ryan #quinn hughes #jack hughes x reader #luke hughes x reader #ryan leonard x reader #ryan leonard imagine

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boyfiejay · 4 months

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Next door hottie neighbour pt.2

This is requested by @frogsrules (tumblr isnt letting me tag omfg) im sorry i lost the request, and also sorry for not replying sooner 😭

PAIRING : Sunghoon x gn Reader

GENRE : bad boy and good girl, he's mean to everyone but her (not really mean but yeah)

Warning : this is part 2 of another drabble you can read it here, established relationship, sh has a bike, climbing to bedroom windows, swearing like once, they kiss y'all🤭

Word Count : 0.8k

Who knew that renowned bad boy Sunghoon was just a softie at heart? The one that everyone felt intimidated by was such a gentleman.

Or maybe it was just the girlfriend privilege, his friends constantly talking about how they've never seen him smile so bright.

Yeah, girlfriend. After that embarrassing moment you shared with Sunghoon, he had taken you out on a date as promised. Of all the places you thought he would take you, it was an amusement park. Kinda cliché but you liked how he had went out of his comfort zone to entertain you.

Like for starters, he revealed he doesnt usually go to the amusement park asides from the times his sister drags him there (which is so cute). And second, he did not take his bike because he saw you were wearing a skirt (again?). He would've made you wear his jacket around your waist for safety, but he didnt want to make you uncomfortable.

Which is ironic considering you are obsessed with his bike, maybe not how fast it is (it makes you feel sick). But after you two started dating, Sunghoon was complaining non stop about how you love his bike more than him, or even that you liked him only because of the bike (deal with it, its not her fault boys with bikes are sexy).

Your relationship with Sunghoon consisted mostly of bickering considering the fact than you two are completely opposite, and when you stop bickering he's flirting with you till you feel like your face will actually explode.

But there are times when you two are just silent, lying in each others arms in the dark, talking about your insecurities or fears. You loved how with you Sunghoon was just so gentle, no matter how much you annoy him, he's still gentle to you.

Sunghoon was just like that, big and dark when you dont know him. He seems intimidating, like the kind who will judge you for no reason. But he was just a big baby, your baby as he likes to say.

And although your parents knew about you dating and approved of it, yet Sunghoon still chose to sneak into your room through the window.

Sunghoon climbed up whenever he missed you, even in the middle of the night. And he could come throught the front door like civilized people do, but no there was just something about how you nagged him about how dangerous it is, and how pouty you get when you pretend to be angry.

Sunghoon had never in his lifetime thought that he would be this whipped for anyone. But he can't help it, you just looked so cute no matter what you did.

He was again here, knocking on your window, and you opened it again. But this time instead of nagging him, you pulled him instead excitedly, nearly squeezing the life out of him as you hugged him.

Ofcourse you would be excited, why wouldn't you be? Your boyfriend was back from a week long trip with his family, he had just landed and decided to surprise you as soon as possible.

Just three hours ago, you were pouting and sulking about how you missed him and how lonely it was. You definitely did not expect him to come back so soon, but who was complaining.

For a long while you two just stood in your room embracing, until you spoke up, "I missed you so much." it was your first time being away from him for so long.

"I missed you too baby, I was about to go crazy if I heard my sister teasing me one more time." he said, pulling away from the hug. You lightly chuckled, it was quiet late your parents were probably asleep.

Feeling sleepy, you rested your cheek against his chest while still looking up at him. Your faces were so close, you could count his eyelashes.

This was again one of those times, when Sunghoon just wanted to kiss you so bad. So thats exactly what he did.

His lips pressed aginst your soft ones, he could taste the cherry chapstick that you applied. His tongue licking away at your bottom lip, but pulling away just as you opened your mouth.

Park Sunghoon was a fucking tease, but he was your baby more than he was a tease, so he dove right back in connecting your lips. This time not pulling away, till you feel lightheaded and pull back yourself.

He picks you up, setting you on the bed and sliding in after you made yourself comfortable. But nothing is more comfortable than Sunghoons arms wrapped around you like a cocoon.

Having Park Sunghoon as a boyfriend was probably the best thing you've done in your life. And Sunghoon was going to make sure you will never regret that decision.

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anakinmybeloved · 5 months

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The most beautiful girl in the Galaxy

warnings: 18+, established relationship, fluff, praise, fingering (f recieving), anakin helps reader talk through body image issues, smut, not proofread

You weren’t always such an insecure person, but lately your body image issues have been crushing your confidence. You know that these new stretch marks are just signs of your your younger shape turning to your womanly figure. you cant help but feel like your body isn’t as pretty as you once thought it was.

You could feel it was straining your relationship with Anakin as well. You two have been together for a while, since before these new changes appeared on your body. You haven’t really been as intimate as you usually are, finding ways to shower separately, not wanting to change in front of him, hiding your body with bigger clothing. When you give into your urges you insist on it being dark. You feel like he won’t be attracted to you anymore. You know he has noticed your shift in confidence, you can tell he wants to say something but doesn’t know how without making you feel worse.

Which brings you to this moment, you and Anakin are lying in bed, your facing away from him on your side. Every time he brings his arms around to gently put his hands on your stomach to move you closer to him, you fidget and squirm out of his hold.

“Okay I can’t ignore this anymore, baby what’s going on?” Anakin asks you grabbing your arm and moving you so you can face each other. You avoid his eyes, knowing it will just make you feel worse. You know its wrong to keep him in the dark like this, but you just cant bring yourself to explain this to him.

he takes his hand and softly cups your face, “What’s going on, would you please look at me.” Sighing, you look into his eyes and all you can muster up to say is “I just don’t feel pretty right now ani, I don't mean to push you away.”

“There is no reason to apologize my love, you are beautiful, why don't you feel pretty?”

Hearing those words fall off his lips turns your face red with blush. It gets you comfortable and you find the strength to talk about what’s been going on.

“Im embarrassed. I have noticed my body doesn’t look the same from when we first got together and I feel like you won’t be attracted to me anymore, I cant even look in the mirror sometimes.” You don’t even realize the tears are falling from your eyes until Anakin’s thumb is brushing them away. He pulls you closer to him so your head is smushed in the crook of his neck.

“I feel so bad for not acknowledging this sooner. But you couldn’t be more wrong. I love you for who you are, in my eyes your are the most beautiful girl in this whole galaxy. You give me butterflies every time you look at me with those gorgeous eyes of yours. I don’t want anyone else but you. I love your body, along with all the changes that come along with it. You will always be my perfect girl.” Hearing those words just make you sob harder into him. You cant believe you even allowed yourself to think your Anakin would ever not love you or be attracted to you. He as never made you feel anything other than loved and taken care of.

You finally get the strength to look back into his sparkly blue eyes and whisper, “I love you so much Anakin. I don’t know what i’d do without you.” Before your even thinking of it, you grab his face and press your lips against his own. Its soft, and filled with so much love all you want to do in this moment was melt yourself into him.

Anakin lightly pulls away from you and you are once again looking back into his heated eyes. “Can I touch you?” You can tell he is trying not to scare you off by the way he asks you this so gently. You nod back at him finally pushing your insecurities aside and just letting yourself be in this moment with him. He is now grabbing the hem of your shirt and looks back at you with questioning eyes, you finally allow him to pull your shirt off your body.

You lie on your back as Anakin looms over you. He pulls his shirt from his own body and is now gazing at you below him, you forgot the last time you had felt so intimate with him. His hands are roaming your body as he admires, his eyes hold an intensity you haven’t seen in a long time. He reaches for your lips again with a lingering kiss, he swiftly pulls away trailing kisses down to your neck.

He takes his time going to each side, sucking and biting his favorite spots.

As he continues to leave love bites all over you his large hands begin to caress your body. He’s gliding over your stomach and hips then holds you at your waist. He’s looking down at your chest, completely mesmerized. Grabbing both your breasts with his calloused hands, he begins playing with them, squeezing them together, rubbing his thumbs across your hardened nipples.

“I could never get tired of this..”

“Your all I ever want for the rest of my life” he murmurs to you as he lowers his mouth to capture your nipple. He swirls his tongue around each nipple, taking his time in his best attempt to calm your mind. His mouth follows the trail his hands make down you body. Once it registers that he’s going to see your scars you struggle trying wiggle out of his hold attempting to hide yourself.

Your fighting to pull his head up to avoid your embarrassment and he looks up to you with a stern look in his eyes “Don't hide your body from me”

“I love you no matter what” as the words leave his mouth he begins to grind his bulge against you. “Can’t you feel how hard you make me baby?” That gets you so flustered you don't even want to fight him anymore. He places gentle kisses along your new scars while whispering how much he loves you, how your his perfect, beautiful girl.

Once he’s past your hips he begins kissing and biting your inner thighs before he slowly removes your shorts. Your breathing begins to get deep and feel nervous with want. Anakin takes you by the hands brushing along the inside of your palms to get you to calm down. “Baby look at me, everything is ok. We don’t have to keep going, I just want you to be comfortable with me again.”

Your body feels electrified under his touch, you can feel the excitement coursing through your veins, to the tips of your fingers and toes. You know Anakin won’t judge you, and that this is the best way to get over your new formed insecurity.

“No-no ani don’t stop please, I want you to keep going.”

With your assurance he pulls your panties to the side, fingers dipping into your soaked folds. With his middle and ring fingers he gathers your wetness and swirls you clit, jolting your body.

“Does that feel good princess.” He whispers into your skin, you bite your lower lip and nod back at him unable to use words. He begins to pick up speed swirling his fingers over your sensitive bud then removes them and plunges his thick, long fingers into your dripping hole.

Anakin begins to toy with your clit with his thumb as his fingers are still gliding in and out of you. “You feel so good. So warm and tight for me..” His words along with his hand cause you to feel that familiar knot pull in your stomach. Knowing your close you moan “ani I’m gonna cum”, with that he’s curving his fingers inside of you reaching that spot only he can touch as the pad of his thumb swirls slow circles over your clit, coaxing your orgasm out of you. Your back arches upwards, toes curling with pleasure, your mind feeling like its exploding as you come all over Anakin’s hand.

“Such a good girl.”

“Feel better?”

He moves to lay next to you as your breathing finally slows back down. You turn to face him with a shy smile. He smiles back and moves to bring the covers over the two of you. “What are you doing?” You question as he snuggles closer wrapping his arms over your tummy. “I’m so proud of you my love” he hums as he presses a kiss to your temple “this was for you, I don’t need anything other than to see you happy and comfortable.” You close your eyes, finally feeling relaxed, as if your insecurities have been whiped from your mind.

"I love you Ani" you mumble as his breathing starts to deepen against your neck. you drift to sleep in anakins arms, your mind finally able to rest and body at peace next to the one person you love the most.

A/n: idk if I liked how this one came out

#anakin skywalker one shot #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker fanfiction #soft dom anakin #anakin skywalker x you smut #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader smut #anakin smut

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practickles · 3 months

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EnaKasa Tickle Headcanons

It's downright criminal that these two have never interacted.

Absolute. Drama. Queens.

Neither of them can just sit still and take it, they are either flailing and squealing like it’s the one thing between them and spontaneous combustion or twitching violently and complaining nonstop (never meaning a word of course)

Ticklish tummy solidarity. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

Tha image of them just sitting next to each other, gradually hiking up each others shirt and tickling oh so softly without either laughing or saying a word. It’s kind of become an unspoken game for them at this point. The first one to giggle gets nonstop raspberries for at least 5 minutes. They have a pretty even win/loss streak.

These two are stubborn, so tickle fights can get intense and often start with no warning.

All it takes is a few fingers under either of their arms and suddenly its been an hour and both are exhausted and panting on the floor.

Ena for sure plays dirty too. Does that thing where she pretends to be giving a break but right as Tsukasa inhales, she tickles him again. She’s also really mean by means of going for bad spots and not letting up for even a moment.

It is no understatement to say that both of those make him lose his mind screaming.

Pretty much the only advantages he has on her are physical. He’s got size, strength, and endurance but in every other sense she has him completely beat. Yeah he can pin her but that won’t stop the teasing, which is half the battle for him.

Neither of them mind how often he loses though.

I’ve talked on here before about Tsukasa being the most dramatic and playful, but also the sweetest ler out there. That 100% rings true when he goes for Ena too.

She’s the type to be easily frustrated and then take that frustration out on herself. Luckily for her, her boyfriend hates that and has a much better solution for it (read: frequently tickling her to pieces)

Idk, I think Ena comfort tickles would just be a common thing for them in general.

Tsukasa is one of the only people in her life who she feels comfortable enough to admit to that she kind of maybe just a little bit doesn’t hate being tickled.

He, of course, understands that’s Ena-speak for “she loves to be tickled. It makes her happy.” He also knows she’s frequently in need of comfort.

Body image issues? Soft tickles everywhere she’s insecure while he whispers how pretty his girlfriend is. Insecure about her art? Tickling her until she forgets and saying the corniest stuff like “if your art is half as lovely as that laugh, then you have no reason to worry.” Trouble waking up? Try staying in bed when you’re too busy squirming.

It is a miracle she hasn’t burnt to a crisp yet with how easily he can make her blush.

Another embarrassing thing he does is the theatrics.

He just makes.. Such a big deal about how fun it is for both of them and is clearly so engrossed in it.

Playing characters and high pitched “kitchi kitchi” noises serve to remind Ena exactly what’s going on and exactly why she’s not pulling away.

The worst part for her is the fact that he’s not even trying to fluster her with the tickling. It’s just an added bonus if/when he notices it. He’s just so affectionate she can’t help getting all embarrassed.

Ena, on the other hand, does not at all take Tsukasa’s sweetness into account when he winds up on the receiving end.

Ena loves to draw on Tsukasa in general, like doodling on his arms/hands whenever she's feeling antsy but especially loves being able to take the time to make use of his stomach when she's in the mood for a longer “project”.

Really it's just an excuse to see/touch Tsukasa's tummy but he doesn't need to know that. Sometimes she doesn't even draw, just traces shapes with her finger or a clean paintbrush.

“Such a beautiful and strong canvas. So perfect for me” is all that needs to come out of her mouth for Tsukasa to be ready and able to do anything she could ever want.

She’s one to keep her nails always well done and pretty and that fact has nearly sent Tsukasa to his grave so many times.

He already loves how they look, he can recognize the artistry and has even considered having his own done. But when they’re wiggling towards him? He’s an absolute goner. She knows exactly how to pinch his ribs and slowly drag them around.

To the point where he’s associated that with her nails and even looking at her hands too long can put him in a lee mood.

Tickles to get him to shut up.

Tsukasa has a unique talent of being able to fill any room’s silence with his voice going on and on and on. Ena has a talent for filling the room with his laughter instead.

Tsukasa can get kind of overenthusiastic and reactive at times, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes though, feeling so much at once is overwhelming and what better way of tiring yourself out than annoying your vindictive girlfriend into wrecking you to pieces?

A classic favorite of his is to poke Ena over and over, sometimes somewhere ticklish to make her jumpy or even just her cheek just to be annoying.

Because he lacks subtlety, she always knows what’s going on.

Whether she draws it out and makes him admit it or immediately gets him back depends on her mood. Tsukasa loves both regardless, it’s a win-win.

He gets downright whiney if she drags it on too long but still won’t ask. The best she’ll ever get is a little mumble.

When Ena is in the ever elusive “soft ler” mode, she has a tendency to become absolutely captivated with any smile of Tsukasa’s. She just wants to look at him all day. Every single one of his features is perfect to her.

He gets so so shy from the attention, Ena just has to tickle him right back out of his shell.

#project sekai tickles #tickling #sfw tickling community #ena shinonome #tsukasa tenma #pjsk tickle hcs #tickle hcs #lee!tsukasa #ler!tsukasa #lee!ena #ler!ena #practickles 2.24

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quiet-compassion · 5 months

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OFMD Fluffvember Day 10: Holiday

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51648301

As a general rule, Ed tries not to spend too much time pondering Stede’s old life. It’s not that he’s not curious. He’s extremely curious actually. It’s just that there are a lot of painful feelings and insecurities wrapped up for him in that Before. And he knows that Stede loves him. He knows there’s a reason Stede left all that behind. He knows that he and Mary weren’t happy together. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts that nag at him sounding like “He’s from my world, not yours” and “You left me for Mary”. He’s not proud of it; he’s working on it.

But, if he were going to ponder it, he’d imagine Stede’s old life was pretty boring for him. After all, Stede’s so full of whimsy and drama, he must have outshone everyone around him. Ed can see in his mind’s eye a placid and simpering wife, mild-mannered children, a straight-laced community that could never hope to keep up the explosion of chaos and creativity that is Stede. He almost feels bad for them, having to live the rest of their lives without Stede, but not bad enough to give him back.

They’re sitting together in their cabin, winding down after a long day. Ed’s head is in Stede’s lap, eyes closed as he listens to Stede recount his theories about the island’s local bird population.

“I’ve seen a few warblers, of course, and there was that Antillean bullfinch the other day. But I swear, Ed, the call I heard today sounded exactly like a yellow-shouldered blackbird! What it could be doing here, I can’t imagine, but I’m pretty confident that’s what I heard. We’ve definitely got to keep our eyes peeled for it. That’d be a sight, wouldn’t it?”

Comfortable and relaxed, Ed gives a languid hum of agreement. “For sure, mate.”

He waits for Stede to continue his avian oration but is met only with silence. Cracking one eye open, he finds Stede looking down at him wearing an expression of embarrassment and guilt.

“Sorry,” he says with an apologetic smile, “I’ve been rambling on and on. You don’t want to hear about this.”

“Pft, um yeah I do,” Ed insists. “I don’t know much about birds, beyond gulls, but sounds like this yellow-shouldered guy is pretty rare! It’d be annoying to miss out on seeing the little shit just because I didn’t know what it looked like.”

Stede’s eyebrows raise in surprise, searching Ed’s expression for any hint of insincerity.

“Really? I’m not…boring you?”

“Fuck off, of course not! Now come on, describe the bird so we can both be on the lookout.”

It takes another moment; Stede keeps staring at him in shock, though Ed can’t fathom why. Eventually though, with a timid smile, he goes on.

“Well, it’s the wing you want to pay attention to…”

…

Ed puts the incident (but not the bird) out of his mind, until a few days later. They’ve been working on building some kind of structure capable of housing animals. A barn would be too generous a term for what they’ve managed. It’s a kind of pen, empty as of now, but the hope is to find a cow or chickens or something on the island to fill it. If they’re gonna be living here long term, they’ll need a more dependable food supply.

They’re securing the door to the pen (with a fully functioning latch, courtesy of Ed) dreaming about the types of recipes they might cook once they have regular access to a protein source other than fish.

“Could make meat pies,” Ed suggests. “I always loved those as a kid. And we can vary it to fit whatever we end up finding.”

“Love that idea! God, I’d kill for a simple roast chicken.” Stede frowns. “Or, I assume it’s simple. I’ve never made one before. Not much of a chef really.”

“That’s okay, babe. I’ll cook for us. I’ll make you a roast chicken—can’t be much harder than roasting a snake.”

Ed grabs their rusty axe, swinging it down to divide another bit of wood into pieces that can serve as fence posts. Stede tracks the movement, flinching a bit when the blade hits its mark. “I suppose we ought to build a butchering station out here too,” he says in a quiet voice.

“Sure,” Ed nods. “We can do that.”

Stede swallows, eyes still transfixed on the axe. “If you’re going to be making food for us, I guess I should handle preparing the meat for you.” He looks like might be sick.

Ed shrugs. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“No no. It’s only fair. We’ll divvy up the work between us, and since you have a knack for cooking, I’ll have to handle this. Make myself useful.”

The words come out of Stede’s mouth but they don’t sound like his. Ed drops what he’s doing to really look at him.

“Stede,” he says slowly. “You do plenty around here. You’re hardly dead weight. I’m fine handling the butchering. Because, to be honest, mate, it seems like just the thought of it is making you queasy. So, don’t worry about it, I’ve got it.”

Stede is staring at him again, wearing that same look from the other night—wide-eyed like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing. “You would do that for me?” he whispers.

Ed smiles. “Of course. I’d do a hell of a lot more than that for you. Listen, you protect me from spiders, I can kill a few chickens to put food on the table.”

Stede looks like he might cry, stepping forward to envelop Ed in a tight hug.

“Thank you.”

Ed puts his arms around him, feeling like there’s a puzzle before him he hasn’t solved yet.

…

It’s another month before it happens again. The whole place is coming along. There are no holes in the roof anymore for one thing. For another, they’ve got a respectable herd of goats and a moderate flock of chickens. They’ve patched up the floors, dug a well, set up fishing traps, planted a garden. It’s been a productive few weeks.

It’s also been a fuck ton of work.

“We need a holiday,” Stede says rubbing Ed’s knee after a particularly grueling day.

Ed laughs. “Aren’t we where people are supposed to come for their holidays? You know, being an inn and all?”

“Eventually. But also that doesn’t prevent us from taking a break of our own,” Stede says.

His fingers dig into a particularly tense spot and Ed groans. “Ah, shit! Yeah, you’re right. Could do with a vacation.”

Stede smiles up at him. “The crew said they’d check back in on us after 3 months. Only a few weeks left till then. Perhaps we can ask them to drop us somewhere for a week or two and bring us back again after.”

Ed’s sure the crew will be less than enthusiastic about being their ferry service but, for now, he keeps the thought to himself.

“Sounds nice. Alright then, where should we go? What kind of a holiday would you like?”

Seeming surprised by the question, Stede gives a dismissive shrug. “Oh, I’m not picky.”

“Well, that’s a lie,” Ed quips with a snort.

Stede gives his thigh a playful smack. “What would you like to do?” he asks.

Ed pauses, giving Stede a quizzical look. “I asked you first.”

“I’m sure you’d find my idea of a vacation incredibly tedious. And really, I’m happy to go along for the ride, so long as we’re together. So, you pick.”

He gives Ed a polite smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and Ed decides that’s it. That’s the final straw. Pushing himself upright from his reclined position on their bed, he levels Stede with a bemused gaze.

“Okay, what’s the deal, man?”

Stede looks confusedly up at him, hands still massaging Ed’s knee.

“Huh? What’s what deal?”

“Why do you keep assuming I don’t care about what you care about? First it was the birds, and then the slaughtering chickens thing, now this. You keep acting like you expect me to be annoyed. So, what’s the deal? Why is the me in your head such a dick to you?”

He’s rendered Stede speechless, which is kinda a feat. He just sits there, open-mouthed, staring at Ed for a moment. Finally, crimson-faced, he clears his throat and says, not meeting Ed’s eye, “I’m sorry. I—I don’t think you’re a dick. It’s just. No one has ever cared about what I care about before. I would talk about something I found fascinating and everyone’s eyes would glaze over, or they’d find a way to escape my company.”

Ed doesn’t understand. “But why? That’s pretty rude! Maybe if they actually listened they’d see why you found the thing so fascinating!”

Grimacing, Stede doesn’t say anything in response. Another detail of his confession makes its way to the forefront of Ed’s mind.

“It can’t have been that way with everyone, right? I mean, your family? Mary—”

“Ha! Mary. Bless her,” Stede chuckles joylessly, “she had no patience for my special interests. I’d imagine not having to listen to me ramble on was one of the things she enjoyed most about me being gone! The kids too, I’m afraid.”

Ed sees the mental picture he tries so hard not to imagine shift before his eyes. The insipid fawning family alters into a cold and austere household. A past life that is not so much boring as it is lonely. The very idea makes his blood boil, but he wrestles to tamp down his indignation. The last thing this moment needs is for Stede to perceive Ed as angry.

Taking a deep breath, Stede continues on. “To tell the truth, I’ve always felt like I was getting things wrong. I talk too much, or about the wrong things. The things I ought to have the stomach for make me squeamish. My idea of fun, of adventure, doesn’t seem to be anyone else’s.”

He turns at last to meet Ed’s eyes. “I know you love me. And I know that we have a lot in common, that we are frequently on the same page even when that page is completely wild. It’s one of the things that made you such a breath of fresh air when we met. But…after spending so long being an annoyance to everyone I met, sometimes it’s hard not to assume I’m irritating you too.”

Ed takes a deep breath, running a hand over his beard as he thinks through what he wants to say. “When you sail as long as I have, everything starts to feel very grey. The whole world kinda loses color, all just hazy sky and murky water. Gets to be that nothing can surprise you, not the crew, or the routine of the day, or even the fucking weather. And then here you come,”

he smiles, raising a hand to hold Stede’s face.

“Here you come and suddenly there’s color again. Like literally, because you dressed like a goddamn rainbow, but also there were surprises again. Every day was different. Things that seemed set in stone were now fluid and malleable. Even now, here, in the rhythms we’ve created for ourselves, babe, I am never bored.”

He wipes a tear off of Stede’s cheek with his thumb. Stede turns his face just enough to kiss Ed’s palm.

“You drive me crazy, in multiple senses,” Ed laughs. “But you’re not an irritant, not an annoyance, or ordeal to be endured. I wanna hear all your silly thoughts and ideas. I wanna know what you like so I can give you more of it and I wanna know what you dislike so I can keep it the hell away.”

He could go on. God knows that when he gets to talking, he can carry on for hours. But then Stede’s kissing him and it seems like perhaps he’s said enough. Well, almost…

“I also wanna know,” he breathes, lips scant inches from Stede’s, “what kind of holiday you would like to go on so we can plan the fun and relaxing trip we both need.”

Stede laughs. “Oh, alright! I was thinking, it might be nice to go somewhere with a variety of shopping opportunities. We could pick out some creature comforts we’ve been craving, maybe get a jumpstart on inn decorations. Perhaps we could even track down a bookstore!”

“A retail vacation, love that,” Ed says.

“We could even use it as a marketing opportunity for this place! You know, get word of mouth going.”

Fuck, Ed loves him. They who came before might not have appreciated Stede for the insane wonder that he is, but he always will. As Stede goes on with talk of informational brochures, eyes alight, one thought echos in Ed’s mind: their fucking loss.

#ofmd #ofmd fluffvember #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #stuff i write

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madame-fear · 6 months

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long rant about some feelings i had lately because i need to say it somewhere. i should post it on my sideblog but honestly i lack the will to sign out from this and log into the other account. Feel free to ignore.

Quite honestly seeing all the endearing messages you guys send me truly encourages me to keep me going, and in a way, it comforts me. But these days for some reason I’ve had some recurring grim feelings that burden me, and make me feel empty.

I have a loving family I adore, sweet mutuals and friends i also appreciate with all my life, and i’m studying a career i always wanted to study – but i feel disappointed with myself. I feel like I have no clue where to go in life, like I cant rrally achieve anything too important. I feel useless, and weak.

Everyone in my real life remarks how shy and quiet i often am, and my parents say that im a sensible soul but even if they say it in a good way i feel stupid and fragile. I feel like everyone can run past over me because they know im not capable of saying anything against it. I feel worthless, and like i constantly need to be guided to do even the slightest thing. I panic at the most minor of inconveniences because i have no idea how to react and i overly stress, and needless to say the tremors i have worsen and it just makes me feel like shit.

I never find the right time to say what i feel, nor the right situation. And even if i do and express myself in any dumb way i can find at that moment, i just get called an attention seeker and they blame me as a victim that always has everything served and is spoiled, and even if im grateful for all the things i have in my life, i just keep feeling like a heavy weight on the people surrounding me. I feel like nothing i ever do is right, i never know what to say, i feel stupid. Sincerely.

I dont care what anyone says about me, especially if its someone i dont know. But i know some friends and people in real life that made fun of me when talking about my interests, how fragile i seem at everything and reserved i am, i even heard some classmates snickering behind of me when i was explaining specifically what i studied and im tired of not having the will to stand up. I truly despise myself to the point i can barely find the right words, if there is any.

Everyday i feel like im dragging myself through life and i would muh rather keep sleeping and stay in my dreams than have to keep being understanding at stupid people, and the disrespect. Im always embarrassed of expressing how i feel but its even more heavy to carry all my self-worth issues without being able to freely talk about it. You guys have no idea how many fucking times i had the impulse of jumping in front of a car, throwing myself out of the balcony, hanging myself and end myself because i cant STAND not knowing how to guide my life, where to go, and feeling insecure and i dont say this to be dramatic. i cant do anything by myself.

If it werent because even if i sometimes fight with them i know i have a family that cares for me and sweet friends, i wouldnt be here in some time. I feel like an attention whore and a victim but i hate having to keep it all for myself and know no one will do anything, or think im satisfied with how i am. My parents tell me i should be proud of who i am and all the things i earned by myself, but truth is, i wish i werent so fucking useless. I can never remember anything properly, and im too anxious most of the time. I despise myself and i really hope this feeling washes away soon, because i cant tolerate not managing to do anything because i would much rather lay in bed and do nothing due to my own insecurities.

#feelings of worthlessness #tw implied suicide #self deprecation #feel free to ignore #personal rant #might delete later

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chewwypepsicola · 1 year

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What is the aftermath of Chosen's snap of "he only keeps you cause you're usefull" to second?

We all know Second is an insecure baby, do they put their head down and leave quietly? Does he snap back? Do they give the most hurt look and give chosen space?

Also whats Dark reaction to this? (Bet hes gonna tear Chosen a new one for hurting their little brother)

LONG POST AHEAD WAHOO sorrrey hahahah

Me and my brother hal talked about the aftermath a while back, all of it happens in less than 10 minutes and outside the house, maybe Second chasing Chosen trying to make a point and Chosen finally snapping at him. Second does keep his head down and lets Chosen say some mean things to him, problem is that he gets so overwhelmed that a small part of his green powers awaken as he silently holds back the tears cause he's been hurt by someone he genuelly wished to get closer to, its not big scale like what happened in showdown its just small electricity and his eyes glowing green, he cant handle these emotions, its not even the mean things its who's saying them you know? second wants more than anything to feel like he belongs and that he's not sticking out like a sore thumb, despite loving his friends deeply he still really wants to be let in by chosen and dark.

Dark at this point in time was already on good terms w second (maybe also another reason as to why chosen would snap at second, he felt threatened that he was going to take dark away from him) so even if Dark wanted to go and comfort Second she's frozen with fear, cause suddenly he's back at that crater badly injured and alone. Chosen just doesn't care, he's pissed. Second eventually stops holding back how hurt he is, and he breaks, he starts crying and all of that electricity and power that was building up finds a different outlet and disspiates slowly as Second silently cries into the arms of his sweater, he looks up to find both of them staring, and despite being embarrassed and hurt he holds his gaze for a moment onto Chosen before leaving. He leaves a patch of burned grass where he stood.

Dark goes after Second a couple of hours later, letting it be really clear that he's upset w Chosen, Dark arrives at the PC and Second of course greets her w a hug, the color gang are for once sleeping so he just sneaks Dark into his room and they hang out, Dark wanted to leave in less than a day but Second begs him to stay cause he's really messed up emotionally and Dark is the only one that knows why, lots of talking, Dark stays over for two days almost three and then has to go back cause he knows if he's not there Chosen will not eat or get out of bed in general so. Second lets her of course, now feeling better, both agreeing that they will give this whole family thing one more try, Dark will convince Chosen somehow. (The colors gang all freak out when they Dark walking around grabbing a glass of water for Second, all except Red, Red saw them hugging the first night and decided that if Second is okay w him then so is he, the rest accept it too for Second's sake)

#almost long post but not big enough #sorrey #hope that makes sense !!! excuse my grammar and spelling errors btw i did not proof read anything #THANK U FOR ASKING THO #ene answers #ava #avm

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denimbex1986 · 2 months

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'Paul Mescal has spoken of his insecurities as an actor while filming intimate scenes, saying he sometimes feels as if he's in a 'blind panic' on set.

The actor, 28, had to do raunchy sex scenes with Fleabag's Andrew Scott for his role as Harry in All of Us Strangers.

The film follows Andrew Scott's lonely screenwriter Adam as he encounters the spirits of his dead parents in director Andrew Haigh's latest film.

While Paul has a wealth of experience as an actor and while All of Us Strangers was nominated for an impressive six awards at the BAFTAs last Sunday, he admits he can still feel very vulnerable while performing.

Irish star Paul is seen playing out some very intimate moments as Harry with Andrew's Adam in the film.

Paul told All of Us Strangers writer and director Andrew Haigh during an interview for AnOther Magazine: 'I feel like sometimes, though, it’s blind panic. Because I think acting has the capacity to be the most embarrassing thing that any of us ever do.

'And it can be in an instant. I’ve seen actors that I really admire do bad, embarrassing things.

'When you’re in a scene where that’s heightened – say, if your body is on show or there’s an emotional weight to a scene – weirdly, if you’re working with good actors, you can just throw a bubble around yourselves and white-knuckle it.

'Andrew Scott is just outrageously good.'

Paul went on to praise his co-star Andrew, saying their closeness in real-life allowed for an intimacy and trust on screen that he's only had a couple of times with other people, being Normal People's Daisy Edgar-Jones and Saoirse Ronan in Foe.

The screen star said their acting abilities go beyond talent, adding that they have a 'well of emotionality where all you have to do when you’re in scenes with them is sit there and listen'.

Paul posed for an arty photoshoot for the magazine, posing in sporting attire for a variety of photographs.

It comes after Andrew admitted he barely rehearsed his raunchy sex scenes with Paul while working with an intimacy coordinator ahead of his latest role in All Of Us Strangers.

The film is an adaptation of Japanese author Taichi Yamada's 1987 novel, Strangers.

While an explicit sexual encounter with Harry, played by Irish heartthrob Paul has dominated the commentary surrounding its release, Scott insists they both adopted an organic approach towards its development.

Speaking to Attitude, Andrew, 47, also credited the film's intimacy coordinator for mediating any concerns regarding the graphic nature of their sex scene.

'Sex is just communication, isn't it?' he said. 'It's just physical communication rather than verbal communication… We didn't over rehearse it. We knew that those scenes, particularly the early ones, had to have a sort of frisson.

And we had an intimacy coordinator, which can be very helpful for the simple reason that if you're able to talk to somebody about your fears or what you want to show, what you don't want to show, or what you think it should be and what the narrative of the storyline is, you have that base of safety.

'But chemistry is a really interesting thing. You’re basically just listening to see what the other person is doing physically in the same way you would in a dialogue scene.

'And you can talk about that as much as you like, but until you're actually there, it's not alive in that way, so it's just about listening, but just listening with your body, basically.'

The actor, best known for playing James Moriarty in BBC drama Sherlock and the unnamed 'Hot Priest' in Phoebe Waller-Bridge comedy Fleabag, publicly acknowledged his own sexuality for the first time in 2013.

And Scott admits being an openly gay man in the modern age is a 'wonderful gift' that has helped him establish firm friendships within the queer community.

He said: 'I think it's such a wonderful thing to me. It's an extraordinary gift to my life and just to be able to see the real beauty in being gay is completely wonderful.

'The older I get, just the more I feel so lucky to have been born gay and that pervades my life in the sense of all my friendships. I have so many amazing queer friends in my life now that I just adore.'

He added: 'I feel such a huge sense of camaraderie with other queer people now, and without sounding too hippy about it, I feel like I just want to spread that love and positivity in our community because we've come such a long way and it's important that we are kind and look out for each other, and celebrate how uniquely different and how f**king wonderful that can be.

'It feels like such an extraordinary privilege to be able to play a character like this. And I wanted to give as much of myself because it was cathartic for me,' he said.

'I never thought that I would be able to watch a film like this, let alone be at the centre of it, so I wanted to be able to take that opportunity to express myself in some way.

'Why pick an imaginary backstory from somewhere else? I wanted to bring as much of myself as I could, because I feel like that's what the audience is going to relate to the most.''

#Paul Mescal #Andrew Haigh #Andrew Scott #All of Us Strangers #Fleabag #BAFTAs #Strangers #Taichi Yamada #Sherlock #James “Jim” Moriarty #Hot Priest #Phoebe Waller-Bridge

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melancholymirth · 2 months

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He's palming his neck, picking at it like it owes him money, and shuffling around like a fool - nervous, pacing, anxious to know what V's response would even be. He'd never done this before, not since Mineo. So this was new and different and hard for him, but he wanted so badly to try again, to try and change himself for someone who deserves it - someone who made his heart race and the flame and smoke within him to dance and swim, crackle, pop, burn... He felt stupid now, stomach in tight knots, heart fluttering, palms clammy as hell. There was just no way he was going to pull this off - no fucking way V would give the Problem Student Who 'Set Fires in Class' the time of day.

Garrett'd been worrying so much, he all but ruined the shitty handmade card in his other hand, thumb curving the edge by accident, causing a crease the size of Texas to form on its face. Black ink smearing because of the sweat on his palm. He couldn't give this to V. He was going to puke into the nearest trash can, the very thought made him so sick to his stomach. But it didn't seem like he'd have a chance to turn tail and throw it all away, no matter how quickly he'd done a 180 - V was standing right there, right in front of him now. Crystal blue blew wide open and he could've sworn his soul left his body then.

And again when V took the card from him.

"N-no, ay, wait--" Too late. He had to deal with it now, the embarrassment and certain rejection. There was no way-- "Hey, look, so- It's ruined, I fucked it up, let me jus'...take tha' and throw it away. S'cool. Totally cool. Stop readin' it, give it back-- V, please, I'm beggin' ya, don't- L-look, I worked real hard on tha' and now it looks like a fuckin' child made it. I-I--"

Roses are red Violets are blue Do you like goofy poems? Cos I wanna read all the ones I wrote to you Will ya be my Valentine, V?

For a moment, V could not believe what he was looking at. Not only was Daemon all out of sorts, but in his hand was a colored piece, or pieces, of paper formed into a card, and because it was being handed to him, V simply had to take it. The insecure part of his brain thought that he should be nervous about what he'd find, like there was something in there that would break his heart, something that Daemon simply could not voice. It was creased on the front and the ink was smeared, after all, but it was held with such care, such feather-light pressure, and in V's mousy, equally nervous hands it felt warm—warmth that was not entirely born of nerves, but something he'd always found comforting whenever he stood or sat quite close to Daemon. And here they stood closely once more, and those awful fires he'd been accused of starting were tame within him; yes, still burning away, but for reasons that were neither malicious nor volatile. It was, perhaps, the kind of fire one would enjoy from the hearth, in winter.

When V opened it, the fire spread. It tinged his cheeks, tickled his funny little heart, made him warmer than he had any right to be this early in February. Daemon was blubbering to him about things he rightly couldn't register, couldn't even hear—V was smiling faster and wider than he was prepared for.

Be your valentine? Is that really what it says? I'm not still in bed, am I?

He caught himself late, clapping a hand over his mouth to hide that ridiculous grin after a few seconds of inaction too many. Oh no! He saw me smiling like this—god, I'm so embarrassing! The realization made his cheeks burn harder. What point was there in hiding it now? The boy he'd grown attached to, the only one who defended him and appreciated his company and wanted it, the one who made school less of a nightmare than it had shaped up to be, the only one who cared at all to make him a creased, smudged, "ruined" Valentine's card—this boy, the one staring at V now, looking a little pathetic with about as much embarrassment on his face as there was on V's, had asked him to be his valentine. There were no words for it, not while V was robbed of voice.

His heart was like a butterfly, escaping his rib cage to finds its only passage to total freedom through his throat and out of his mouth. He felt he'd wanted to burst, suddenly, from emotion he couldn't quite place or understand. But when he finally looked up, met Daemon in the eyes, he hastily put his hand down out of embarrassment from having brought it to his mouth in the first place. This wasn't some mushy soap opera! He fought himself to smile less, but the red on his face and the strange sort of glow about him was impossible to beat back. Was there smoke in V's eyes, too? Nah, couldn't be.

The mousy little thing was almost demure in the way he dipped his head, once again avoiding the direct and very intense attention he'd been receiving. Longer lashes fluttered indecisively beneath white hair that had been long enough to fall in front of the right side of his face. He didn't hold the card back out; it was closer to his own body than Daemon's, kept now that he'd had it. When he finally opened his mouth, a squeak was all he could muster for a few seconds. Why was it so hard to speak now? Did he think he'd make a mess of his answer? Now his hands were clammy, but he wisely held the card between gentle fingertips. He tried again, more forcefully: "Yes." There was a quaver to his voice, like he might cry, like he was a baby. But, he swallowed that, swallowed it hard, and did everything in his meager power to pull himself together.

I don't know if this is love, but what else feels this way? I've never been so—

"Yes." Much more firmly now, and with restored eye contact, he made his answer. His decision, irrefutable. "Yes to...being your valentine, I mean," V clarified, going mousy instantly toward the end. "You— you wrote poems? I like this one. Even if it's silly." A futile effort, but he tried to loosen things up just a touch. The poor thing, rendered bashful beyond repair, could not decide between looking at Daemon or looking at the card, or anywhere else for that matter. "B-but I would like to see the others...! Of course! Um, th-thank you. I— I really appreciate this. Your card is not that bad. It's really not." I'm very glad you asked. Affection struck him anew, making him flush from the recoil. He buttoned his lip then; really pursing his lips, as he'd done enough talking and needed to be saved from any more. It was Daemon's turn to fumble with his words. With any luck, the two could fumble and stumble through the day together, doing whatever valentines would do.

#astarablaze #AU: Lovestruck Schoolboy #// THIS IS SO FUCKING CUTE TARO. MWAH.#// V is barely able to function but you bet your ass he's beet red right now and /this/ close to tearing up.#// HE'S NEVER HAD A VALENTINE OR A CRUSH ON ANYONE SO HE'S SO CONFUSED BUT ROLLING WITH IT ANYWAY.#// They're both suffering sweetly and I'm a huge fan.#// BABIES both of them. I love them so much.#// Oh yeah I couldn't think of a clever AU tag r.i.p. maybe some day

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magicalmyu · 1 year

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Tesla and Welt as the chaos bestie hcs? Or Herrscher sibling hcs

hehehe,,,,, its been a while since ive talked about herrscher siblings

first of all - tesla and welt! chaotic bffs my beloved

welt was definitely terrified of tesla when they first met. but like, he realized pretty quickly that she had no ill intent, nor did she want to hurt him like the scientists he knew beforehand

i hc welt to be slightly younger than tesla, so tesla acts like this mean, but overprotective older sister. welt doesnt understand why since hes not that much younger than her lmao

sometimes tesla secretly buys welt gifts whenever she goes shopping, and she leaves them in his room when hes not looking. ein is this close to ratting her out but she wants to enjoy the fun a bit longer

ein was keeping an eye on welt for a while prior to him going to lab 42 (for obvious reasons), which was when tesla first found out about him. she complained about how he was being treated, so her worrying for him started even before he first came to the lab

welt is a good person to talk to! he never complains when people ramble too much, actually shows interest in what they talk about, and doesn't make people feel embarrassed. so whenever tesla is bored and wants to ramble to someone, she usually talks with welt. same with ein actually

welt also worries about tesla, and gets anxious when shes out too late. (even if ein assures him its normal and she'll be back by the morning) because he has trouble sleeping, hes usually awake whenever tesla gets home late, and makes sure she doesnt do anything irresponsible. funny, since tesla considers herself to be the "older sister",,,,,

sometimes welt takes what tesla says to heart, and it makes him feel guilty or insecure. whenever tesla realized this, she would always try to indirectly make it up to him, though she would never say sorry outright. eventually, as time went on and welt began to heal and get used to life in lab 42, he took tesla's antics a lot better

neither welt nor tesla (or even ein, for that matter) are too good at directly communicating how they feel. they show their emotions through their actions instead, and they sort of understand each others' indirect love languages well

ein accidentally got welt hooked on truffles too. perhaps it was because it was one of the first real, delicious meals hes ever had, but he kept making those sandwiches ein made him on his first day. tesla gets annoyed when he steals them, but she does have to give him credit for having taste (unlike a certain mophead)

in an ideal world where welt lived longer, as he got more confident in himself, he and tesla would bicker a lot. no more one-sided teasing, now hes trying to fight back! kind of.

tesla and welt like to recommend and lend each other books, so their interests sometimes intertwine. for two people who seem to hate each others' guts, they can get along surprisingly well sometimes!

ok its angsting time (angsts all over you)

out of all of the deaths that had happened in november 1955, it was welt's that really frustrated tesla. she knew welt once saw otto as a friend, and yet otto threw that all away and murdered him. the worst part is that he was never able to experience life to the fullest - in fact, he had never even properly enjoyed winter, spring or summer with his freedom.

she knows that she couldn't have done anything to prevent welt's death, and she knows that his death was necessary. but some days, she remembers what she had said to welt back at the museum. but was it welt who drowned in his own compassion, or was it the world which drowned him in its ugliness?

there were some things she never got to apologize for, and even if she did have her own way of making up for it, she still wished she could have actually told him she was sorry. she never really knew if welt was truly happy in his last moments, and this question haunts her whenever shes having a bad day and is alone with her own thoughts.

as time went on, her memories of lab 42 and the short time she spent with welt began to fade, so hua suggested she and ein write about their old friends so they won't be forgotten

okay done with that

herrscher siblings! (might be brief tho hhh)

elysia is just. really happy about joyce. like they meet in herrscher heaven or something and shes just so excited to see him and hes like ???? bc he doesn't get this sort of positive attention

she'd spoil him. in a better life, she'd 100% spoil him. she'd shower him with attention and elysia-ness. yeah. elysia-ness.

welt really really respects her. like he was the first one to receive her blessing after all. in herrscher heaven or something he always refers to her as "miss elysia" or something like that even if she insists he can just call her elysia (she thinks he makes her sound old)

they'd jokingly banter over whose successor is better ("mei is prettier!" "but bronya has a cool mech!)

elysia tries to help him with his,,,, fashion malfunction. he refuses

elysia tells welt abt eden and the other flamechasers (started after he asked abt SoE) ofc welt listened.

elysia: *looks at ein* yeah i can see why you fight for humanity!

welt in turn tells elysia about his own friends,,,, though he doesn't have nearly as much to say, elysia still enjoys hearing them

anyways this is all that comes to mind,,,, <333

#welt joyce #lieserl albert einstein #frederica nikola tesla #elysia #hi3 #asks

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pinquot · 1 year

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A few words I won't say, to someone who won't see them here or anywhere else It's my birthday and I woke up from a dream about you. I dream of you often. It's usually nothing too interesting; in the good ones I have done something impressive for you or at least in front of you, making you think I'm worthwhile. In real life you've never had any particular reason to think that, or anything else, about me. We barely knew each other in school and I haven't spoken more than a dozen words to you since, none of them consequential. I suspect I seldom cross your mind if I do at all, and that you wouldn't guess how often you're on mine. And all that is fine with me. I don't think I'd leap at the opportunity to befriend or know you now. The you-who-you-are in the present is not the one occupying space in my subconscious, and maybe the me-who-I-am now isn't the one recollecting you anyway. I'm not even confident I'd like you if we knew each other better, and I don't think it'd change anything if I didn't, or did.

It would be silly, given all these facts, to say that I have ever loved you, as little as I know you. I'd have to find some weasel word like "revere" to describe how I felt about you when we were kids. But realistically I suppose I did love you anyway. In the way that you can love the Grand Canyon without visiting it or knowing how many meters deep it is or what it smells like in the rain or the names of its native flora. You don't really have a relationship with it, but maybe you love it anyway. Maybe you revere it. Maybe you're glad it's there, or you just saw it once and never got over it. In honesty, what exists in my thoughts and dreams isn't really you; it can't be. It's something with your name and face, though; something that is fed when I remember the sound of your laughter, or when I hear a song and wonder if you've heard it, and if you liked it. I have loved and revered others since, and to what now seem much greater extents, than I ever did you; only they aren't in my head the way you are. Somehow whatever I felt about you at that exact point in my life constructed some architecture in my brain of which you're an integral load-bearing element that cannot be broken down or hidden away. I suppose, insecure and socially defective child that I was, I wanted your approval more than anything in my stupid little world (approval which you neither gave me nor denied me, any more than the Grand Canyon does) and I did that just long and hard enough at some crucial moment in my development that even now there's something deep in my animal brain desperately insisting that I need and want it. If I was telling you any of this to your face -- if we were improbably trapped in a stalled elevator together or something while a meteor was hurtling toward the earth giving all humanity mere hours to live, which is the only circumstance I can think of under which I'd consider doing so -- I'd say I was sorry and, kind as you seem to be, you'd probably say you were sorry too and neither of us would really have a sense of what exactly we did wrong. I'm not sure what I ever could have done to feel otherwise, to stop dreaming of some distant acquaintance with a life and family so far removed from mine that they may as well be a stranger. Sometimes I wish I didn't have these dreams but it's more because I'm embarrassed for myself than because they cause pain. You're too much a part of me to hurt me.

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attourney-at-lycan · 2 years

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this is moreso my little ickle biases coming out but... mcd katelyn and lucinda relationship thoughtz ? not just romantic >:D

(für mich its just i like the s1+2 katelyn's perceived collectiveness crumble and the rawness of her anger, insecurities + grief kinda emerge and like in a way that parallels luci's insecurity with her heritage as a witch and dealing with her father and the people of pikoro and i know the guilt she mustve felt during the ivan debacle) (like they struggle similarly but also not at all but also yeah.?:£,8:)

katelyn + lucinda oh my god

i love the concept of two equally strong people who dont see eye to eye at first and maybe even slight hate- then they just see each other in their weakest moments and immediately just get so much closer- (ofc it doesnt always work but i feel like for them it would, esp given the circumstances where they both work with/for aphmau)

NO BUT UR RIGHT- both lucinda and katelyn lost people close to them, they blame themselves for trusting in someone who turned out were just using them and feel like they failed those they should’ve been protecting. in lucinda’s case the people of pikoro village and in katelyn’s case, jeffory and his daughter. it depends on how you look at it but ur so right in saying rhey have parallels.

katelyn has sleeping problems but doesn’t tell anyone, but lucinda knows. for some rlly rlly weird reason she always notices small things about katelyn and decides to help her. why? who knows. but she makes katelyn a sleep inducing potion and it helps katelyn a lot. even tho she’s sus about lucinda’s help but she’s grateful nonetheless.

lucinda has a fuck ton theater books/ scripts etc because hailey really liked them as well. so when katelyn finds out she tries to steal one while running errands only to get caught red handed by lucinda. AND ITS JUST- katelyn making an elaborate story but lucinda just laughs like “you know, you don’t have to be embarrassed over the fact you like theater. well.. maybe a little” insert katelyn about to trash her place

i just love the concept of lucinda making jokes with katelyn and occasionally pissing her off. but the both of them evolving into teasing banter and everyone’s in shock because weren’t they at each other’s throats a couple months ago?

they both check up on each other when they feel like the other isn’t in the best mood. such as lucinda going to check up on katelyn during jeffory’s birthday or katelyn checking up on lucinda whenever some stranger makes up some fucked up comment about witches. ofc other characters probably do it, but they’re usually the first ones to check up on each other.

#THIS IS ALL MY BRAIN COULD MUSTER #im so sorry it’s so little whishsahshshs #aphmau #minecraft diaries #aphmau minecraft diaries #katelyn the firefist #mcd katelyn

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