#and in that post ill be so obsessed with it. as i constantly am. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azulpitlane · 5 months

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got love stuck part 3 please i’m begging it’s so good i need it

out of the woods I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader, exbf! mason mount x reader summary: in which lando has to communicate his insecurities but is he too late? notes: ask and you shall receive, this one took a while cause I had it all written out then I hated it and started over😇but this is the last part!! i loved making this thank u for being so supportive considering part one was my first ever post!! now send some requests hehe part one, part two, masterlist

lando i fucked up, its too late

danny ric what do you mean its too late?

lando i texted her and no response she went to dinner with mason tonight they're probably still together right now

danny ric okay so you're jumping into conclusions AGAIN you have to have some faith in her mate and stop assuming the worst

lando she was with her ex after our breakup what am I suppose to do?

danny ric communicate, you muppet you can't just give up after one try

lando okay okay you're right, i was overthinking im booking the next flight to london

danny ric um i was thinking maybe a phone call?

lando too late, already booked it

dailymail

102,339 likes

dailymail Trouble in paradise? Singer Y/n Y/l/n and F1 driver Lando Norris reunited in London today. Onlookers claim the two were having a heated conversation about their relationship and it is unclear whether the two are currently together or not. Was this argument result of Y/l/n's infidelity? The singer was spotted twice within this month with ex boyfriend, Mason Mount. Read more on the singer's relationship timeline with Mount and Norris in our article linked in the bio.

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user yes lets just make assumptions that y/n is a cheater based on nothing🙄

user if lando took her back ill be so mad. shes so toxic

user you have no idea what shes like in real life? you're just basing your opinion on some stupid tabloid that constantly spreads misinformation on her

user WAR IS OVER (THEYRE STILL TOGETHER IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS).

user YUP Y/N AND LANDO DEFENDER TIL I DIE user SAME IM CONVINCED SHE NEVER CHEATED IDC IDC

user this doesn't even look like a heated argument to me?? y'all be doing too much

user please let this be just a friendly conversation and her and mason got back together☹️

user its been a year, I think its time to move on from that relationship user yup!! shes clearly moved on y'all need to do it too user her relationship with lando has been messy from the start, she never had to deal with this drama with mason that's all im sayin

user this page is obsessed with y/n!! leave my girl aloneeee

yourusername

liked by landonorris, masonmount and 5,283,239 others

yourusername out of the woods out now.

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selenagomez on repeat already💙 liked by yourusername

user WAIT WHOS THE GUY IN THE LAST SLIDE

user HAS TO BE LANDO user praying its mase but I have a feeling its lando☹️

user the way these lyrics can apply to both mason or lando so we have no clue who its about🧍‍♀️

user and they both liked aghhhh!!!!

danielricciardo amazing song, so so proud liked by yourusername

francisca.cgomes can't stop listening im obsessed😍 liked by yourusername

user okay danny and the wags are all commenting this is a good sign for us lando and y/n defenders

alexandrasaintmleux you're so talented I love it!! liked by yourusername

user y/n dropping this after being seen with lando again, I think its time for us mason defenders to retire :(

landonorris

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 920,482 others

landonorris want you for worse or for better, would wait forever and ever tagged yourusername

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user YES WE CAN FINALLY SAY WAR IS OVER

user I KNEW IT YES

yourusername and that's how it works💙

user these are definitely song lyrics AHHHH user landos listened to the new album omfsgnks user new album is gonna be mix of love and breakup songs with the drama methinks

user MOM AND DAD ARE DONE FIGHTING

maxfewtrell sap

user careful lando, once a cheater always a cheater

user where is the proof of her cheating?? there literally is none user they literally broke up after she was seen with mason user give up this narrative already!! her and lando are clearly happy together so who cares

yourusername

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 7,284,234 others

yourusername these past few weeks have felt like a crazy, emotional train wreck but there's nobody else I would've rather done it with than my best friend and lover💙 i usually never address anything like this but there are somethings that aren't easy to shake off especially when it comes to my relationship and my loyalty being questioned. there has never been somebody who has been so perfect for me and i would never trade this love for anybody elses. i could go on and on about it but i find it easier to communicate through music.

my new album is out tonight at midnight, it is a collection of songs written from last year to now. interpret the songs as you like but just know there is only one person im in love with right now.

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user OMFG WEVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

user she just nicely told all mason x y/n supporters to stfu

user not only that but she beat the cheater allegations🙏

user THIS IS SO CUTE WHAT

user "would never trade this love for anybody elses" IMCRYIN

landonorris love you so so much, dont know what I would do without you

yourusername lan love u more🥹 user AWWW user nobody can be a mason x y/n fan after this cause they are too cute

landonorris this album is amazing, im so incredibly proud of you and everything you've been through liked by yourusername

carlossainz55 very excited for this one liked by yourusername

masonmount this was very well said, congrats on the new album!! liked by yourusername

user OMG? user in their besties era omdfsnkln user I knew they were just friends through all this!!!

user okay officially retiring the mason x y/n agenda..it was a good run

user def the end of an era but our girl is happy🫶

user now that the drama is over can we focus on how good this album is gonna be

user fr the drought is officially over

yourusername

liked by landonorris, yourbff and 3,232,325 others

yourusername the love for my new album has been insane, thank you guys so much!! so many records broken just on the first day of the release and i couldn't have done it without you guys💙

now it is time to hibernate for a little bit and spend some much needed time off with my loved ones so this is a lil goodbye... for now!

see ya later

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user NO COME BACK

user gave us some lando content before dipping, thank u mother

user she took 'I know places we won't be found' to a whole different level because nobody can find out where theyre vacationing

user good!! they need some privacy after this messy drama

landonorris got you all to myself now

maxfewtrell gross yourusername perv

kellypiquet ❤️‍🩹 liked by yourusername

user but will we see you at the paddock next season🥹

yourusername ofc!! catch me rooting for my babyyy

user what a crazy era. hopefully well get some performances and lando supporting after this break

landonorris will be front row at every show user wag and rockstar's bf. try not to say parents challenge omg user can't wait for the content of them supporting each other at races and concerts ahhh

yourbff pls dont make me an auntie soon im too young

yourusername okay im officially logging off.

tags: @jayrami3 @whoselly @roseseraj @saturnbloom77@landowecanbewc

#lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris smau #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x you #f1 x reader #ln4 #f1 fanfic

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chisatowo · 2 years

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Shakes unit swap Ena and Mafuyu in my brain. Stupid mentally ill besties who are also worsties who are also strangers who are also sleeping in each other's arms and are also divorced

#rat rambles #sekai posting #unit swap au #it gets a tag now lol #I know I said I wouldnt go forward with any of my initial ideas til I went through more stories but I failed woops #I am very attached to these two's dynamic in my head now #that being said I am waiting to read more mizuki related event stories before I start developing them in this au more even though I have #ideas because of 25ji theyre the one I know the least abt backstory wise by a landslide #and as for kanade Im thinking she probably wont be that different but that could easily change depending on how mizuki turns out in the au #but yeah mafuyu and ena are horrible influences on each other Im obsessed with them #gifted kid weird kid hostility and solidarity and also kids who just want to fucking snap solidarity #this is all still mostly initial concepts though so like this stuff is still prone to change #that being said Im thinking of making their sekai like woods themed #cause I like to imagine little ena taking mafuyu to scream in the woods lol #and that becoming the band's private hangout zone™ or whatever #idk though Ill have to think on it more #but yeah two idiots who dont realise that the other cares abt them and dont realise they care abt the other and when they break up just #melt into an indescribable lonelyness but dont realise they are lonely so nothing gets resolved for far too long #Im just imagining mizuki watching ena realise she cares as if she hadnt threatened them constantly for like a year or so anytime they #interacted with mafuyu because mafuyu was the first real friend she ever had and she was very defensive of her #just like bestie I didnt gain a fear of knives because of you worrying abt mafuyu only for you to only now realise you like her cmon #oh and ena was a feral kid you cant convince me otherwise she doesnt think she was but shes definitely bitten someone #she also probably was one of those kids who killed and tortured bugs for fun just trust me bro #anyways Im tired time to pass out hopefully

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starrykaulitz · 7 months

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any era tom headcannons!

hi guys! so since i don't have enough time to write full segments of stuff, ill be posting either head cannons or my fav pictures from now on… so sorry for the hiatus i went on with no notice but enjoy these!!

SFW;

he loves it when you sit on his lap. everywhere you go, public eye or not, he opens his legs inviting you to sit on either his knee or on his thighs. depends if you can get home fast enough from wherever you are.

this man is obsessed with public affection. he seriously does not care about what others think when it comes to his relationship. you'll be walking in a crowd of people and his hand will be smack bang on your ass, gripping it, groping it, you get the point.

he sleeps on the left side, always. and he has these reading glasses that have broken MULTIPLE TIMES because everytime he finishes staring at his phone at 2 am, goes to switch of the bedside light, he forgets to take the glasses off and they end up on the floor. he says 'ill get them in the morning', ends up forgetting they are there and steps on them with his fat ahh feet.

his fav cuddle position is def when he can rest his head on your tits, big or small. he loves laying on your chest whilst wrapping his leg around your lower half.

he always needs to be touching something of yours. its almost a subconscious thing, but he has to have his hand or his leg near yours at all times, especially if your in a situation that could make him nervous.

if you knew him from a younger age, growing up together, he would have 100% picked on you more than anyone else around him. you were a girl, its 'funny', but now that hes older, that man will literally kiss the ground you walk on.

your in the car with him? hes driving? horrible idea. he will not only speed to see your scared reaction, but he was also drive with his knees. he does not stop at orange lights at night either, he is going STRAIGHT THROUGH IT, PUMPING THE GAS.

if you were watching a movie and he got real into it, he'd begin just...grabbing at your boobs. not in a sexual way, in a way of "they are there, might as well grip onto them."

NSFW ;

alright. morning sex. all the time. it'd be strange if you didnt have it. he is constantly up against your back, and he'd love having an s/o whos a bit exciting, so extra points to you if you purpusfully gave him one while he was asleep. but god, he would be sloppy in the morning and it would be amazing.

when he finishes, (he would want to do it inside you if you had been dating for years on end, no protection) he bites at your shoulder. doesnt matter what position, hes biting that shit hard as he finishes.

he LOVES licking. idk why, but he does. if your lying there under him, arms stretched to the side, he will take that chance to lick all the way from your belly button, to your neck, up until he reaches your mouth and then continues to shove said tongue down your throat.

he gets pretty aggressive with head i'd say. he loves you doing it, literally his favorite past time, but he would grip onto your scalp so hard and pound himself into you, (ofc, only if youre in the mood for that.)

mirrors? dont even mention them or else he'll have you infront of one and have you begging for more istg. he loves seeing both himself and your fucked out expression as he hits it from the back.

again, toms said this before, but i rlly dont think tom would like you doing the dirty talking, (ofc unless your out at a public dinner on the other side of the table, you send him a dirty msg or sum), but he prefers to hear you scream and ATTEMPT to talk then have you degrading him or sum.

#tom kaulitz #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz x oc #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel smut #bill kaulitz smut #bill kaulitz x reader

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itssideria · 2 months

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re: Martyrs, Palestine, Islam, and the 'death cult'

Since the start of the Gazan genocide, I have seen dozens of posts and speeches along the line of "Those crazy Palestine supporters! Those crazy Palestinians! They are so obsessed with death! They celebrate death, isn't that just disgusting? Isn't it disgusting?" In the wake of Aaron Bushnell's passing, such statements are becoming more frequent. They now point to a perceived celebration of suicide—"Those Palestine supporters and their glorification of self-harm! How could you ever stand with such a cause? The entire culture glorifies death!"

This post isn't meant to argue with the people saying this. For a group that is supposedly so anti-death, you see them constantly equivocate on genocide. Instead, I'm hoping to reach those who might have questions—and they are fair questions! Why are the killed Palestinians martyrs, rather than victims? Why do Palestine's supporters hold this as a badge of honour? Why are Palestinians, and Muslims at large, 'so obsessed with death'?

Hello! I am your local non-Palestinian Muslim! Hopefully you'll find some answers here.

In the context of the genocide—and, let's be real, the last 75 years of Israel's existence—the word 'martyr' is a translation of the Arabic word shaheed. 'Shaheed' comes from 'shahad', the verb 'to witness'—to witness, because in Islam, their status is that of eternal reward. They witness heaven before anyone else. Unlike a non-martyr, whose soul remains buried until the Day of Judgement, a shaheed's reward is immediate and indisputable—heaven, eternally, no matter what.

You may then wonder what exactly being a martyr encompasses. The Western image of the martyr is often centred on war—someone killed in battle, holding a gun or a sword. With this image, it is easy to make the leap that Islam therefore rewards war and conquest: this is how you get the whole 'Muslims are violent and want to kill everyone in jihad' bullshit. (And FYI, jihad likely does not mean what you think it means, but whatever. More on that in a bit.)

However, that is just blatantly untrue! Martyrdom in Islam can include death on the battlefield when protecting a just cause, yes. Martyrdom in Islam also includes death by plague (COVID, influenza), death by drowning, crushing, or fire (natural disaster, unsafe housing, travelling), death by internal disease (cancer, infection), death in childbirth, and, finally, death when protecting one's family or property from an oppressor.

That last one seems familiar, I hope.

Why these specific instances? Well, one, because we have them recorded in reliable hadith. But also because these individuals die in a state of jihad—literally, in a state of great effort. Like martyrdom, jihad can encompass fighting in some war somewhere, but often, just means exerting effort to do something that pleases God.

And these people? They die in the process of exerting massive effort to pursue a good cause: to protect their loved ones. To become well after illness. To travel toward safety. To survive. Shuhada (the plural of shaheed) have died exerting the greatest effort of all, and for this, they are beloved to God. They attain heaven immediately. They are forgiven for whatever sins they may have incurred.

For Muslims and Palestinians, this invocation of martyrdom isn't some celebration of death. In a just world, zero Palestinians die. But this world is unjust, and thousands are still dying. The invocation of martyrdom, therefore, is an expression of hope, of resilience, of comfort to those still living: yes, they have died, but they have died in a state of jihad. Yes, they have died, but they are up there in heaven, they are happy, they are safe again. To a parent who has lost a child, to a sibling who has lost a sibling, to people with dead friends, this insistence on martyrdom is a comfort in the midst of a massive, unending grief. They did not die a victim, they died a witness—and insha'allah, they will receive their reward. To decree someone a shaheed is to honour them. It doesn't celebrate their death, but rather affirms the circumstances of that death, and celebrates the subsequent reward.

TL;DR: Martyrs are martyrs because in Islamic scripture, they have died fighting oppression. Martyrdom is a form of death that guarantees heaven, and for those who have lost loved ones, it is a comfort and hope that their loved ones are receiving the ultimate reward. Stop being fucking rude to Palestinians.

Sources: who is classified as a martyr?, wikipedia page on shahid

#i am not a palestinian so like. palestinians feel free to add on or tell me to shut up etc #but as a muslim arab. i grew up knowing this. so hopefully can inform others!#palestine #gaza #israel #free palestine #free gaza #islam #aaron bushnell #mari talks

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scoobydoodean · 3 months

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so i’ve always been annoyed by the belief that “sam and dean are toxically co-dependent, especially dean!” like it just baffles me once i remember all the times they’ve been apart without one of them being dead (and actually including post swan song to an extent), but i’ve never been able to properly articulate why i think dean at least isn’t really co-dependent on sam. like there’s a difference between being (co)dependent on somebody and dean’s parentification right? thanks!

I'll preface this by saying I am not a medical professional nor have I studied academic literature on codependency in great detail. That said, "codependency" is usually just a buzzword used colloquially to describe people who are obsessed with each other anyway. I address the colloquial use and how Sam is much more unhinged here. I'm guessing the colloquial use is really more what you mean, but if you're looking for something different or a little more specific than that, I can probably write or point you to some other things I've written if you give me something more specific to go on.

That said, there is something about the way fandom talks about "codependency" between Sam and Dean that bothers me, and I think by reading around about codependency today after I got this ask, and finding out that this term is controversial among mental health professionals as well... I finally figured out why.

I think to a lot of people, "codependent" has become synonymous with words like "needy" and "suffocating". However, the WebMD type articles I started with, suggest that the partner of the codependent party is the one whose needs seem to constantly overshadow and outweigh the needs of the codependent partner in the relationship. While the codependent partner can exhibit negative behaviors, the primary problem of the codependent party is that in being a caretaker, they can lose all sense of their identity and boundaries, and don't know who they are outside of being a caretaker for others. However, this is a more modern take on the term. Because these articles I started with mentioned academic controversy, I then found a few academic papers to skim, and this proved to be even more helpful in understanding why I... don't like this term very much.

First, the historical origins of it are... off-putting. The term "codependency" first emerged in academic literature in the 1940s to describe wives with alcoholic husbands who behave as "enablers" [1, 2]. I probably don't have to point out how different things were for women back then, and how rampantly sexist that context makes this first wave of literature sound, but it's discussed extensively in this article. Second, there is more stigma associated with the term partly because Alcoholics Anonymous (shocking /s) latched onto it starting in the 60s and 70s:

The influence of the AA culture in shaping the concept of codependency as an illness offered the idea that people who were close to the substance user were themselves suffering from an illness (O’Briean and Gaborit 1992). These people were viewed as enablers and coalcoholics (Cotton 1979). [ 1 ]

I... think I am probably not the only one who finds that utterly rancid to read (some academics writing on the subject certainly seem to):

According to Gus Napier, a noted family therapist, it is "ridiculous" to label codependency as a disease, because it is a culturally conditioned response of an overfunctioning person in relationship with an underfunctioning person (Meacham, 1990-1991). [2]

Some researchers who have pushed the term "codependency" as a diagnosis have actually suggested that literally anyone who is living with someone with an addiction should be called co-dependent by definition, regardless of any behavior they may exhibit, which tells you a lot about the lack of consensus and how meaningless the term can be [2]. The term (especially within the disease model where codependency itself is a from of addiction) has been criticized by many researchers for the misogyny through which the term originated, for unproductive negative labeling and pathologizing of people (especially women) dealing with incredibly difficult situations with their loved ones, for victim-blaming people (especially women stuck in abusive relationships) for the actions of their partners, for tangentially—negative stereotyping about people with serious addictions, and for conflating addiction with interpersonal problems, and in the extreme case—for suggesting separation from ones family is the solution to addiction and supporting someone with an addiction somehow always enables them [1, 2].

Since the original stream of literature related to addiction, codependency has rebranded and expanded into literature on family experiences with abuse and mental and physical illness. Which is where we get articles like this one I already linked. The codependent party is still a caretaker in these settings, caring for the needs of a loved one who is ill. Still, "codependency" is not an official medical diagnosis (i.e. not in the DSM-5). It's a term that has been used in academic literature by mental health professionals, when trying to describe a range of behaviors within dysfunctional families. These researchers do not agree on the term's meaning or on whether it even is or should be a diagnosis. Many are interested in it only from an interpersonal or personality perspective, which is also where we should stick.

Taking all of this into account though, I think the very first thing we have to ask ourselves is what exactly we get out of using the term "co-dependency" to describe Sam and/or Dean when the term doesn't even really have an agreed-upon meaning. Is the intention to write interesting character analysis, or is the intention to glorify or criticize using a term that has historically stigmatized understandable human reactions to troubled family situations? I think the goal has perhaps too often been the latter.

That said, I've already been referencing it, but I think this article does a good job of summarizing much of the literature, and then actually focusing on people who do choose, of their own accord, to identify with the term "codependent" because it is helpful for them in understanding their own lived experience and their patterns within relationships. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to explore this as it relates to Sam and Dean with the right motivations. If you read the accounts of the respondents who choose to identify with the term, you'll see shades of Sam and Dean I think (I have written something pretty close to the chameleon-self about season 1 Dean, and I can apply that one to Sam too through his attempts to fit in at Stanford). When it comes to my experience with these characters however, I just don't find that I personally see any value in analyzing Sam and Dean through the word "codependent" given it's lack of agreed-upon meaning professionally and colloquially.

It seems to me that the term itself leads to more confusing conversations instead of less confusing ones because of the lack of clear definition, and the potential for negative stereotyping instead of actual edifying analysis is extremely off-putting to me. It just doesn't do anything for me personally. The issues to which it relates I think are interesting (especially parentification which is a term I do find useful), and I think criticisms leveled against the term are also useful to read in understanding ones own struggles with how fandom tends to frame Dean as a caretaker who they believe is actually somehow responsible for everyone else's decisions. But I think that perhaps I prefer words and concepts that are better defined than the muddiness of the term "codependent".

Lastly: Even if I'm not a particular fan of the term, the fact is that the actual show uses the term twice—in season 5 (shoutout to butch--dean's transcript search engine). Once in 5.11 "Sam, Interrupted" (to Dean):

DR. FULLER Well, to be frank, uh, the relationship that you have with your brother seems dangerously codependent. I think a little time apart will do you both good.

First, this dude doesn't really know what's going on and thinks Sam and Dean are having delusions. However, in season 5, Sam's experience with demon blood is repeatedly paralleled with drug or alcohol addiction, and Sam is someone for whom Dean has been made to feel responsible for most of his life. This episode addresses Dean's overly burdensome responsibilities in other ways and it's also come up in the past in 1.12, 2.09, 2.10, and 4.05. I prefer to discuss this theme with much more specific terms. In this case, I would say Dean has an "overactive sense of responsibility to others", originating first with his childhood experiences with parentification. Sam also has a tendency to try and make Dean shoulder responsibility for his decisions when they backfire, and does so multiple times related to the demon blood (4.04, 4.21, 5.05). Cas and Zachariah also both blame Dean for Sam breaking the last seal because he didn't stop him in time (5.01, 5.02) and Bobby criticizes how Dean responds to Sam's addiction (4.22).

And then again in 5.18 "Point of No Return", specifically when Zachariah (my favorite manipulative angel) tries to get Adam to be on his side by basically calling Sam and Dean creepy incestuous weirdos:

ZACHARIAH So you know you can’t trust them, right? You know Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?

This one honestly to me is just Zachariah doing Zachariah things. I'll reach these episodes on my rewatch fairly soon though, so we'll see if I end up talking about it more then.

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F. et al. The Lived Experience of Codependency: an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Int J Ment Health Addiction 18, 754–771 (2020). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8

Anderson, S. C. (1994). A Critical Analysis of the Concept of Codependency. Social Work, 39(6), 677–685. http://www.jstor.org/stable/23717128

#mail #5.11 #5.18 #parentification #family chains

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horrorlesbians · 2 months

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i really like your blog but sometimes i have the urge to send mean asks bc u need a reality check but its terrible....youre so beautiful and have lots of swag its sucks that all that shit in ur life told u that youre ugly but theyre wrong...tbh i think you need more friends who tell you youre hot maybe then you wouldnt constantly post about how ugly and unloveable you are bc thats such bullshit like cmon now. a sexy dyke will pick u up one day but the broken barbie vibe isnt as sexy as some peoplemake itout to be bro . please im begging you to find some confidance within yourself you WILL make crazy sexy fucked up films and you WILL be the object of obsession of someone super sexy but first u gotta stop crying about fake news (u beingugly) on tumblr and i do know mental illness and body imagw are serious things i struggle too so honestly i kinda hatemyself for sending you this its out of line and also the first time ive ever sent something like this (im a hatemail virgin) but also u did sign up to the 'weird personal rude asks' website?

anyway im very sorry for saying this but it was either this or i unfollow and like i said i really like ur blog cause ur cool (tldr hating urself is only sexy in moderation) (hope this doesnt hurt your feelings) (sorry again)

I am genuinely speechless

#written in blood #much to ruminate on

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haknom · 7 months

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ALONE AT PROM? — NISHIMURA RIKI

PAIRING: playboy!niki x crush-fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: Nishimura Riki, Earl Grey High's most known playboy. He constantly earned the title as ‘who's most likely to become a frat boy’ for the past 2 years and being a senior wouldn’t make a difference. But watching him chase after someone who doesn’t seem to like him back was quite shocking on his end—he never experienced it before. And for his highschool life to be complete, he need to ask you out for prom. Why? Great question. Still, with your frequent ignorance of his presence things only became even harder.

GENRE(S): written series, highschool au, nonidol au, playboy/troublemaker!riki, onesided enemies to lovers, slight sports au, and onesided pinning (for a bit)!

WARNINGS: riki is a homewrecker and is jealous, swearing (i forgot), proofread like half of this, lmk if i missed anything

WORDCOUNT: 1505 words

NOTE: see i was supposed to post this yesterday but i fell asleep and woke up to do hw LMAOO so im posting it now and ill begin writing chapter 4 soon !!! tysm for the support on chapter one im glad u guys enjoy niki being a red flag 😭😭

TAGLIST IS OPEN! 👑 send an ask or reply to be added.

PREV / MLIST / NEXT

CHAPTER TWO. gross, romance.

Physics was never Riki’s strongest subject, and of course, he always took it to his advantage with a sly smile on his face. It was obvious to everyone that he was going after you. Everyone thought you were his next so-called target, but that truly wasn’t the case; at least Riki knew.

He couldn’t help but chase after you as if he were a lost puppy. To be honest, he doesn’t know what caused it. His feelings even took him by surprise. Although the two of you have been attending Earl Grey High for the past three years, he only noticed you during your Junior year.

Maybe it was the way you smiled at others when walking through the halls or how focused you were trying to unlock your locker—who knows? You still managed to catch Riki’s eye. Since then, he’s always bothered you. You soon began to develop a hatred for the boy due to how much of a disturbance to your studies he could be.

Riki leaned back into his chair, arms crossed over his chest, as he tried his best to listen to the lesson. He really did try, but nothing about Physics sounded interesting to him. Instead, his eyes stayed staring at you, who sat a few seats ahead of him. Through his peripheral vision, he spotted Junghwan, who seemed more annoyed than ever. It left Riki satisfied.

“Alright, please take the rest of the period to work on the assigned sheets. I’ll be collecting them tomorrow.” Mr. Jeong instructed as everyone got to work. Riki grabbed his sheets and phone, leaving his pencil behind on purpose.

Regularly, you would move your desk closer to Junghwan and work together, but today wasn’t the case. As you prepared yourself to push your desk towards his, a taller figure walked right in between you two. “Excuse me,” Riki interrupted, earning scowls from you and Junghwan. He took a seat in front of you with a teasing look all over his face.

“Sorry, am I disrupting something?” He asked even if he didn’t care at all. “You kind of are,” Junghwan informed the boy as Riki shrugged. “Anywho,” He said, staring right at you. “What?” You asked with a vivid, annoyed expression on your face.

“I don’t understand the concept.” Riki rested his arms on top of the seat he sat on, causing the sleeves of his uniform coat to rile up his forearms as you raised a brow at him. “Why is that my problem?” You asked again, your expression never faltering. “I mean, you’re one of the top students in class. Plus,” he said, pointing at the board with writing everywhere. “You’re one of the helpers.” He wasn’t wrong about his words.

You couldn’t say no either. “Fine.” You gave in, earning a slight smile from the boy in front of you. If someone stared hard enough, they could most likely see the tiny hearts forming in his eyes. He was quite literally obsessed. “Where’s your pencil?” Your eyes scanned his closed fists, but no pencil was spotted. “You don’t have one, do you?” He shook his head at your words as you sighed.

You handed him yours and searched your pencil case for a new one. “Here.” Junghwan handed you a pencil with a loving smile. You returned the smile and took the pencil into your hand, causing Riki to roll his eyes. So what if he was Jealous? “What don’t you understand?” You asked, your eyes meeting his. “Everything.” He replied as your brow furrowed. You sighed, realizing how long this would really take.

There will most likely be no time to work with Junghwan. Quite sad, but not for Riki. He was glad and internally smiling like a toddler on Christmas morning. This was almost like a blessing for him. All he had to imagine was that you two were alone and on a study date without Junghwan. That wouldn’t be so hard, right?

“See, if I were (Name), I would hate you too,” Jungwon said while kicking at the mini rocks in between the detailing of the bleachers. “I’m being so honest, Jwon, I could treat her way better than Junghoe,” Riki said, adjusting his resting position against the bleachers behind them. “It’s Junghwan. And I highly doubt it.” Jungwon laughed as Riki shrugged.

“Hear me out. There’s something so suspicious about him.” Riki said. “Or are you just jealous that he’s dating the literal love of your life?” Jungwon asked. “Ouch?” Riki gasped at Jungwon’s words. Was he always this harsh?

The sudden ding that emerged from Riki’s phone caught both of their attention. “Oh, my mom needs something from the store after school,” Riki said, summarizing the message he just received. He looked over at Jungwon while putting his phone away. “Do you want to come?” He asked, but Jungwon shook his head.

“Can’t. I have to study for my math test.” Jungwon answered as Riki sighed. Of course. He nodded at Jungwon’s response and made a mental note to stop at the dollar store after school. “Listen,” Riki started while rising from his spot on the bleachers.

“If my suspicions end up being right, you owe me one,” Riki said, earning a confused look from Jungwon. “What’s in it for me?” He asked as Riki shrugged. “No clue. What do you want?” Jungwon pondered Riki’s words. What did he want? There was nothing he really needed at the moment.

“I’ll think about it. Don’t go causing trouble though, remind you, he’s the student president after all.” Jungwon warned. “Okay, okay. I won't trust me.” Riki said with a ‘promising’ smile. “You’re lying, aren’t you?” Jungwon asked as Riki broke character, letting out a teasing smile. Yeah, I am,” Riki said.

Jungwon softly pushed Riki with narrowed eyes. He knew how much of a rascal Riki could be at times after being around him 24/7. It was only natural for an interaction like this to happen frequently.

Riki pulled his hood over his head and made a knot with the drawstrings. All that could be seen were his eyes. He was truly lucky to have a spare hoodie in his locker to hide his school uniform. The task he was sent to do was quite embarrassing. Nobody could see him buying foot fungus treatment.

He walked into the dollar store, looking more suspicious than ever. Many would've thought that he was currently on his way to steal, but he wasn’t the type to do that. Yes, he might seem like a bad person and a huge troublemaker, but breaking laws wasn’t something Riki found cool.

He searched the aisles for the item that should not be named. He read every sign, hoping that he would come across it quickly so he could leave quickly. But sadly, to his dismay, his plan wouldn’t work. The good news was that he, sadly, found the correct aisle, but the bad news was even worse.

The treatment wasn’t in a small box like he expected, instead, it was in a bigger box. One that couldn’t even fit in his pockets. So he panicked. What could he do? They didn’t sell plastic bags, and there was no way he’d have enough money left to buy a reusable one.

He grabbed the box, accepting the fact that his reputation was practically gone. He sighed and made his way to the self-checkout line, hiding the box under the hem of his navy blue hoodie. Yes, he looked suspicious, but hey, at least he’s paying for the item, unlike others. Riki waited for the line to move, him being the next to go as he stared out the windows in the hope that time would move faster if he was distracted.

The sun was starting to set as its orange gleam rested on the trees and cars that drove past. His eyes scanned the area, reading the random signs he had never noticed before as if they were the most interesting thing in the world, but clearly, there were other things he hadn’t noticed before, like the handholding of a couple who smiled brightly at each other. They were practically sending hearty eyes to one another as the boyfriend landed a kiss on the girlfriend’s forehead.

Riki rolled his eyes and held back a gag. “Gross, romance.” He mumbled. Yes, he’d been chasing after the same girl for the past year, but it was only fine if he did it. No one else. He even went to a dollar store that was nowhere near his neighbourhood or school. There was no way anyone would see him at this rate—or so he thought.

His eyes narrowed, brows furrowing, as he looked back out the window of the dollar store he stood in. The couple were passing the last window as their faces finally came into view. The orange gleam from the setting sun disappeared for a brief moment, making things even more visible to Riki.

There was absolutely no way he was seeing this right.

TAGLIST BATCH ONE: @soov @redm4ri @ox1-lovesick @urszn @feeeli @hanniluvi @dakkisz @dimplewonie @ddeonudepressions @xiaoderrrr @ja4hyvn @mmaplepastries @essmarye @w3bqrl @jennaissantes @yenqa @yeokii @yyunari @wvnkoi @flwrshee @strwberrydinosaur @gibbysupremeacyisreal @rikizm @teddywonss @whoschr @misokei @forjungwons @sourdiary @ririlovesrenjun @enhaz1 @cha3w0n-hearts @ashy1um @lovelovelovebts @jxp1-t3r @haechansbbg @soobs-things @j-wyoung @en-chantedtomeetyou @dolletesera @im-yn-suckers @imsiriuslyreal @ilychee08 @nishik1 @namdeyoui @lovelovelovebts @jlheon @hueningkslvr @s00buwu @envirae @latriii @beomsbeanie @rikicito @annoyingbitch83 @shawnyle @en-happiness @sungwhoonz (TAGLIST IS OPEN!)

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v-anrouge · 2 months

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This is a queued post and it includes talks about transphobia and mentions of self harm and eating disorders

Im here to talk and announce a break, first thing's first j relapsed, in literally like everything sh ed and didn't try to kill myself is because of a few people and the fact my pills ended. For a very long time in this blog u have not been feeling like human, it's like most of you don't even actually like and just come talk to me when im being funny and fun or when i post something rook related that you like, ive really been trying to get rid of that feeling but it keeps on coming back and it's unbearable to be in this blog at this point. this situation with Shiba only really confirmed it for me, I saw about like 4 mutuals referring to this as drama, and complaining about seeing it on dash and while obviously you have all the rights to be displeased with a constant show of negativity in your dash, i beg of you to try and think how i, a trans man, must feel seeing you refer to me and other mutuals calling out transphobia and have to read you refer to this as drama and not as a literal crime. I understand if you got annoyed by me talking about it constantly and to that i ask that you please block me, because i have been literally beaten, bullied, harassed and even doxxed by transphobes, I do not take anything that displays even a bit of prejudice against my trans siblings lightly, hence why i was so "histerical and obsessed" and was being so "stupid and acting like an idiot" as someone people would claim. I do not care what view you have of me i really don't, im used to this shit, ive been trans and alive in the most transphobic country for 20 years, it's no news, but it still hurts. And it hurts even more when I see someone say i was an idiot for blocking someone immediately and calling them out when they side with a transphobe, and it hurts even more when I see a person i thought liked me complain about "drama still going on" rest assured that i won't be "bitching" about it any longer

For soru, who cant possibly process why i have blocked you, your take on that situation and your friend have both brought me terrible flashbacks of my own past as a child dealing with transphobia, of being told people like me are sick and are the seeds of the devil and that we are animals or that there's something wrong with us, like your friend said, their apology is both not genuine and extremely poorly made as they still can't accept the fact that yes, they are transphobic, and you soru, can't imagine how it broke my soul to see your post saying you had given them a chance, but seeing the post you made after, in which you literally agree with your mother you should've stayed away from trans people, that's what broke me the most, and j couldn't even speak about it, because it's "too negative" or im "drama chasing" im sick of this, you can hate and insult me all you want soru rest assured you're not the only one you're not the first nor the last one, maybe this will come off as a surprise to the people that are sure im obsessed with drama and chasing people around but i genuinely did have a lot of respect for you, if the hours ive spent crying over this say anything at all, it's sad that this had to end this way, but not for me, I don't care, this isn't the first or the last time this happens to me, but to my mutuals who i am very sure many are angry that i have made this situation happen, perhaps i should've stayed quiet and keep being funny as people like me best, well it is too late, but i hope that you'll forgive me mutuals, for once again ruining something good.

I don't know how long this break will last or if ill ever even return to this account at all, but i sincerely thank the ones that did treat me like a human, as an equal, that actually saw the person behind v-anrouge. you can't possibly believe how much you mean to me

That's about it, do have a great day

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bibberbang · 10 months

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i dont reblog those posts about how hard it is to have moralizing ocd in online spaces, even though i deeply resonate with them. ironically, i can only talk to 2 people about my ocd, because one of my obsessions is that other people will assume im using my mental health as a shield against criticism if i talk about it. therefore, if i talk about my ocd in any circumstance, my brain believes that i'm already doing something immoral

basically, most of my obsessions resolve around people assuming bad faith of me or that i'm somehow secretly an irredeemably bad person, no matter how hard i try to be good. i am a bad person if i dont reblog posts about serious topics, spend every waking moment thinking about extremely serious topics, or make any social mistakes whatsoever (which is scary because i'm also autistic). i believe that i am irredeemable if i make a small mistake, and i often think all my friends are waiting for me to make a mistake so that they can attack me, and that my life will be ruined if i fuck up. im constantly scanning all my interests (and people i know) for the tiniest imperfections (far beyond healthy amounts of criticism in your interests) out of fear that liking anything or anyone makes me a horrible person. if you dont take a side on this lgbt label discourse, then youre a bigot! im ALWAYS mentally preparing responses and apologies to totally theoretical situations of people being upset with me. i have intrusive thoughts about doing the immoral things that scare me most.

the problem is, *talking about* any of these thoughts invites people who will actually bad faith me. "if youre so worried about this stuff, then you must have something to hide! you just want to avoid accountability!" they make your obsession a reality by accusing you of the exact thing you fear most. none of these thoughts are reasonable or realistic, and i know that. i know that i'm mentally ill. i know logically that i'm as good a person as anyone else. when i actually do make a mistake, i stay level-headed and apologize, acknowledge what i did wrong, and change my behavior

but there is a large part of me that does not want to heal from my ocd, because i believe constant self-monitoring and self-critique is the only thing preventing me from becoming a horrible person

there is nothing i want more in this world than to be a good altruistic human being who is capable of growth, but spending weeks trapped in thought loops analyzing all my behaviors for the smallest signs of a mistake will not help me be a better person. it makes me a worse friend. it drains my energy so that i dont have the mental capacity to actually spend time being kind to others. i reread this post many times while writing it to make sure i didnt accidentally write 6 different slurs. but i can't figure out how to heal. what the fuck do i do about this

this is incredibly hard for me to write about. i'm fighting the urge to delete this post as you read it. i cant stress how debilitating this is for me, it is the biggest hurdle in my life and it sucks away days worth of my time and energy. i will become trapped in thought-loops THE SECOND im not kept sufficiently busy and stimulated by tv/music/my bf/being out of the house somewhere/etc. so much of my life is wasted wanting to be good, that i dont get a chance to actually live the life of a good person

i really hope this post resonates with someone. ive only met a few other people who have this particular kind of ocd, and its extremely isolating. but i want to try to heal from it, and i know the first step to healing is talking about it

#have you ever noticed how i'll add addendums in the tags of my posts where i'll clarify EXACTLY what the post was about?#i do that bc of my obsession that some1 will screenshot something i say out of context and make me look horrible #this is not just a Go Outside problem btw. i know a lot of the examples i gave were internet related #but ive had ocd since i was a child. the other half of my symptoms are health related #like obsessions about emetophobia. or food being contaminated or making me sick. or other physical illness #ppl assume ocd is just washing your hands and not wanting to be touched. naur. i wash my hands a normal amount and i love being touched #so i didnt believe i could have ocd for a long time cuz i didnt fit the stereotype. even though it was incredibly obvious and debilitating #amygdalae #ocd #actually ocd

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vampitz · 7 months

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why i headcanon/see shidou kirisaki as autistic!!!

(note: i am not a medical professional, just an autistic person on the internet. all of my interpretations of his autism come from the lens of being autistic. you might see him completely differently and thats ok!)

autistic! shidou is a headcanon i hold very near and dear to me and talk about it. a lot. as such, i thought id compile some actual reasonings as to why i view him as autistic.

ill be using snippets from the dsm-5 in this post. i will be mainly using portal conversations as proof, because i feel like they are the most "casual" we can get the characters to be.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts

shidou has a very straightforward way of speaking and seems to ignore social rules of "politeness" a lot of the time, while still remaining pretty calm.

shidou also seems to have some sort of difficulty wording himself, and in almost every single portal conversation he trails in and out of sentences. the only characters who do this more than him are haruka and muu.

Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you. ……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon.

little snippet of what i mean, this amount of trailing off happens in pretty much every shidou portal conversation

shidou also is constantly misinterpreted by his facial language and his tone. on multiple occasions he is referred to as hard to approach, and so calm its "suspicious". characters are surprised when he smiles or is actually a nice person.

"Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu."

Kotoko: …… Shidou, right? I’ve been watching your actions for a while, and I’m curious. You’re always extremely calm, and your expression never changes. Do you know something about this place? Shidou: No, I know nothing. ……I’ve never really had an expressive face. Despite appearances, I am quite shaken by this.

Mikoto: Also, I don’t give nicknames to [ ] the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san.

he also seems to have difficulty holding conversations, as most portal conversations with him involve him trailing off, talking to himself (ex. with amane) or just like, not elaborating on what hes saying.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

the repetitive patterns/behaviors is a little bit hard to determine, since they are in prison and not really acting like their "real selves" in terms of behavior. also, since milgram is a series mainly in voice dramas and music videos its kind of difficult to pinpoint any physical repeated behaviors.

when it comes to heavily focused interests, though, shidou seems to be completely obsessed with his work. although this could just be him being a workaholic, the amount of passion he had in it before milgram really reminds me of a special interest that has been pursued as a career.

he also seems very knowledgeable in other topics, such as being able to recite japanese criminal law from the top of his head. again, this could easily be interpreted as him just trying to learn the best way to argue for a death penalty but i dont really care this is my headcanon sooo.

in terms of sensory issues, shidou's issues with his hands could totally play into those. what is specifically wrong with his hands has never been stated: it could be nerve damage, sensory issues, or something else. i see it as a mix of sensory issues and some other underlying conditions.

Mikoto: By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves? Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels.

in his trial 2 interrogation, he says he cant wear rings because they lessen the feeling in his fingertips. this could easily be sensory issues in his hands.

thats pretty much all i have to say regarding this!!! if it wasnt obvious this is just a silly headcanon thats mainly me projecting, but it does have basis in canon to a degree. shidou, with his easily misinterpreted tone and facial expressions and deep love for his interests just reminds me a lot of myself.

(btw if you like this headcanon i did write a fic of shidou getting diagnosed with autism if you wanna read it haha... shameless self promo)

#shidou kirisaki #milgram #analysis sort of not really #krav talks #i speedran this sorry guys i just wanted to get this out in the open #feel free to lmk any thoughts or questions you have regarding this

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lucabyte · 8 days

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I am literally obsessed with everything you do that involves sifloop you are THE sifloop artist to me

thank you!!! it means a lot to hear that haha

I've been like... near exclusively an OC artist for like 8 years at this point so every time i post fanart and ESPECIALLY ship art i feel like i have to fight every screaming cell in my body to post it because i feel like... RUDE? for projecting my own thoughts onto another creator's characters LMAO... so it's reassuring to know people actually like what i'm contributing!!

as for sifloop as a ship. i really should draw more isiloops because . rotates all three of them in my mind. but yeah. I think the thing I like most about the dynamic really is the like... way Siffrin and Loop canonically aggress each other despite an extremely persistent undercurrent of caring about the other not suffering.

Like. the back and forth between Loop constantly talking past/through Siffrin to really painfully insult the pair of them, and things like the [Forgetting Mirabelle's Name] event being so astoundingly gentle. just as a general example. (RNG event that only triggers after certain actions so you may need to look it up)

THEN adding the element of throwing them in postcanon with neither of them wanting to upset the party and thus having to keep a lid on it... I like the potential dynamics of such a painful and conflicted relationship having to be almost hidden and downplayed so as to try and not worry anyone, and thus becoming softer and introspective while still keeping a bunch of the more insidiously toxic behaviour.

Both of them acting with genuine best intentions in mind but still understanding each other to have way *way* more sadness and anger and guilt than they let on, and thus being able to clock it. Both for good and ill. Neither of them enjoy confrontation, but it's almost unavoidable when they KNOW the other knows what they're probably thinking.

. but yeah i just think they're neat! also a bunch of stuff related to asexuality but . shh

#also since. well. i dont know where else im gonna put this. because its CERTAINLY not going in the body of the text #an early way i worded my reading of Loop's characterisation when talking to my friends was:#'Loop is sexually frustrated in the same way as a poorly kept parrot'#WHICH SOUNDS INSANE but hear me out. if you know things about parrots you know they'll imprint on their owners. and it ruins their brains #parrots like this will see humans as potential mates and get AGGRESSIVE when nothing is happening! because... they aren't human.#the 'sexual' part of my reading is a bit of shock hyperbole but i basically mean they are socially/romantically/etc frustrated in this way #they are asexual obviously (... as am i for the record). but yknow. they and siffrin are both still ravenous for physical touch.#and loop... no longer being human. having that disconnect. BEING human FEELING human. but not being.#as well as literally physically lacking the ability for certain things. (staunch 'loop has no mouth and cannot kiss' truther here)#+ i think this is FASCINATING in context of both Siffrin and Loop's asexuality. its something i like thinking about.#two freaks who want intimacy but not in the 'normal' way. again as an ace myself. i think abt it #lucabytetalks #isat spoilers #sifloop

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sharonccrter · 8 days

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The thing that strikes me about Taylor is how insensitive it is and how she is talking about mental health. Did she really love Joe? Because it seemed to me she was eager for a marriage she could show off and was mad that Joe’s mental health was getting in the way of that. Because if Joe was the person she could see herself getting married to and having children with then I am sure you could have found a better way to overcome it together other than fantasize over a racist man.

I personally I’m on a long term relationship (5 years) and a few months ago I got into this very heavy depression and it was ruining our relationship. I became really closed off, in constant bad mood and didn’t notice much that my partner was also struggling with that. I constantly felt like a burden and like I wasn’t making them happy anymore. Dating someone with mental health issues isn’t a walk in the part. It got so bad that I couldn’t eat sometimes and got panic attacks very frequently. But we spoke a lot, reestablished if we wanted to be together and decided that yes we’ll work on it. I went to therapy and have been taking prescriptions (only now at times when I’m feeling particularly anxious) and I’ll say our relationship has gotten way better now. And also myself. So reading lyrics like “get your sht together so I can love you” is really weird because does that mean mentally ill people cannot be loved? That he suddenly is another person to her? Don’t know Taylor, I wouldn’t want to marry you either if this is the way you act at the first sign of trouble.

Here's the thing, I do think she loved him. Have you ever heard of the theory that famous people get emotionally stunted at the age they become famous? Because I think in the case of ts, it's a solid theory. If you hear "The Alchemy" and "So High School", the two songs written for Travis, you can see how she craves being the 'cool kid,' she wants to be the cheerleader with the footballer boyfriend. She's still acting like she's a teenager.

Going back to the theory that she was emotionally stunted in her teens, I do think she loved Joe; did she love him enough? No. She's clearly very self-obsessed, and there are times when she can be self-aware. For example, in her Instagram post, she admits that a lot of the wounds were self-inflicted. The only grace I will give her is being with someone with MH issues is hard, and it's not for everyone. But she could have left at any point. Clearly, Joe's MH got worse or had a bad spell during the end of their relationship.

If that was too much for her, she should have left. She didn't have to run into the arms of a sewer rat before their relationship was even really over. She didn't have to make out he'd wronged her, or write songs giving away details of Joe's struggle which were private.

I think ts needs to grow up.

#anti taylor swift #taylor swift #joe alwyn

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