#and im scared ill never see them myself

[4arconinoma]

Im excited because tomorrow Im going to go to a botanical garden aaand i might might Might see TARANTULAS there... for the first proper time in my Life!!

#I only ever saw one when i was like 4 dead in my garage... and im not sure if it even was one #so since they're my favorite spider family i want to see them really really badly #although i was only told they are there... there is a possibility that they aren't there anymore #so i'm trying to brace myself for the possible disappointment #Not to mention that a part of me is worried about whether they have the right enclosures or not #i dont know if a botanical garden would pull things like that But given the amount of improper terrariums spiders are put in in pet stores. #im scared that i'll go and see them in the shittiest enclosure... that'll just make me feel super terrible x( #Im just hoping for good things then i guess... Ill probably have fun just seeing the plants either way though #but I just really want to see them ive been geeting super sad about never having seen one... my autism begs for it #Ive been waiting weeeks for this #txt #spiders

[rouge-the-bat]

sometimes. minecraft can be a horror game

#shoutout to that time a while ago i hadnt played minecraft in a long time #and didnt know what all new was added #nighttime comes and i havent figured out where i wanna live yet so i just go out into the ocean to be safe from monsters #THEN THERES THIS FREAKY ASS SOUND IVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE AND ITS DARK AS SHIT AND I CANT SEE WHATS ATTACKING ME IN THE WATER #this is how i first encountered a drowned. never knew they existed til that #minecraft #also any time an enemy attacks me is a jumpscare </3 #it makes me jump then im just frantic like OH SHIT SOMETHING WHATS ATTACKING ME WHERE IS IT #playing in first person is not for me but im so used to it so third person minecraft feels so weird :( #also im always too scared of entering caves fjdkjfj too many areas thatre dark even as i light up my way #so many paths for enemies to come from #not to mention the nether and end which im entirely unfamiliar with #so not really nowing the specifics of the enemies n such makes me more nervous to explore it #someday i need to just turn on keepinventory and just do a playthrough of checking out caves and the nether n the end #finally familiarize myself with traversing them so ill finally hopefully not be so nervous to in the future

[hyperexplosion]

I don't want bother friends with a vent so I am here

#i dont want like talk too kuch about this and naybe im just feeking pathetic #but i miss the holidays i miss going grandmas every year now? i barely see her and one day shes just going to be gone #i miss christmas with them i miss thanksgiving inmiss easter even if i dont celebrate jt anymore #the concept of death has been freaking me out so bad rhis month #its been so fuckinh mich and o thought if inkept some friends xlose i wouldnt feel alone but i do i feel so aline and empty #i feel so sad that i just been fucking fakinf jt #and i tried just tale a break from everyone and it just makes me feel worse #ive spoken to mom but idk when ill be able actually get jelp im also struggling to talk to her whiut why im so upset #i moss doing stuff with dad as in going oit o miss it #does he even miss it? #i wanted to go to the planetarium wirh jim cause theyre doing a pink flyd xoncert thing but idk idk mom even seemed sad dor me #i just dont want miss out being with them only for them be gone and what would i do when theyre gone #i cantbtype i xant i fuckinf hell k just want to sleel #today was just a not great day tomorrow will be w new say when i can sleep #i hope #ill keep myself busy than ill try sleep early so i dont jave to deal with night #ive never been so scared of death before and i hste that i am now

[mwagneto]

ppl will literally hold my face in both hands and look me in the eyes and say im the most perfect person they know and that im important to them and they want to be there for me. and ill still be like uhm what if they're just saying it to be nice but secretly hate my guts

#not rly true coz i feel more secure w this friend group than i ever have #partly bc forcing myself to recover from mento illness is going great and #partly because well. they hold my face in both hands and tell me they'd kill for me #i dont think they hate me im just always worried im annoying which is kinda new #not even annoying im just scared they'll get sick of me if im too.... too everything ig #and im desperately trying not to think about the fact that im going to move to a #different country and leave all of them and it's gonna be miserable #it's crazyyyy how fast time is moving. i need to enjoy every second coz man... #at least the work we have to do means we're gonna be traveling and living together basically all summer #and a bit in spring too #im literally winning life tbh and it's only the 2nd semester #we'll see. and the bad thing is i have no idea how i got such a big friend group so quickly and i #knowww that if i change majors or move away im never gonna have anything like this again #i literally like going to uni coz i miss them when im home that's so fucked up. like wtf. #im so not used to missing ppl like this and to ppl wanting to be around me it's crazy. hi #barking

[solaaresque]

day 874392857 of ??? where i am so fucking tired of this house and the people inside it that killing myself is looking better and better each day :/

#reze stfu #god i honestly. idk what to say #my parents aren't bad in terms of it. they're pretty good as far as parents go #but like. imso fucking tired of being expected to act and talk a certain way. yes. i am your first child #that is exactly the reason i am so fucked up!! because you didnt know how to deal with children when you had me an i was basically a... #idk. an experiment or wtv #I WISH THEY COULD UNDERSTAND THAT !! #i know there is something wrong with me. because i've been told that. to my face. repeatedly #and people wonder why my self esteem is so low :/ #maybe if you didnt amke me question my fucking existance i wouldnt be this way. you ever thought of that?? #just two more years . i gotta hanf on for two more years. thats all. thats all. and them im our im out of this house #maybe ill like them better when i dont see tjem everyday #god i love being deathly terrified of my own parents. sometimes i dont even think i love them. i think im just so scared of them #that ive deluded myself into thinking that i love them and theyd never do anything to hurt me #despite KNOWING that isnt true #and its worse when my sisters have to deal with the fallout like. im used to being the buffer. i can deal with that. but please please #please dont expect me to parent. dont expect me to take your place. side eyes my father #WHY am i the most responsible person in that house??? #you expect me to trust you ??? after you left 2 10 year olds alone in a playground in the hot sun for 3 hours with no food no water no money #no way back home??? and you fucking forgot about them???? and i had to remind you???????? #i dont know. maybe im just lashing out. maybe im just tired of being the fuckup #its hard to be proud of yourself when you end up being told that there is something about you that is not right in the head ykwim? #ugh im sorry for ranting i just. idek what set me off and now i have nail marks in my arm and my skin is raw again #and my eyes are bloodshot. so i guess. ill be crying myself to sleep again. yay #that is if i even GET to sleep. i just wasted 20 mins i couldve used to be working having a mental breakdown. fun fun #tw suicide #tw vent

[loutrem]

.

#its dumb of me but a few days ago i went with his deadname on google to see if i could see more stuff about his dead #since his friends who were alqo supposed to be my friends did a 'ceremony' together without telling me #even tho i rly wanted to go to be able to grief and to cry it out properly #so since i havent been able to grieve well i did that. search for his deadname. i just wanted to know #and i found out that a page for him was made on the tdor website. there were a ton of details on what was happening #before and after his death #many things i didnt know about. because i was a shit friend and never kept contact. and also because he was secretivz #i feel awful since then. who was i to him. why couldnt i help him. why am i even sorry for myself. he was the one suffering #i keep crying and i cant sleep at night without reading comics until i feel too tired to open my eyes #because otherwise im thinking too much about him. its just too awful. too unjust #i have. weird cravings for alcohol. ive never even drinked much before. im scared of starting to get addicted #but sometimes i wanna get somethibg anything and just drink until i pass out since people say its good to forget #i wish he were still alive. i wish i could hug him and help him. i wish id visited him in the hospital after his 1st mental breakdown #he had sent me a text to tell me he was there but i had work and i was tired and honestly too lazy to go. and now i regret it so bad #its all so unfair. death is so unfair. grief is so unfair. i was afraid i had no heart before because people who died around me didnt #phase me much. i didnt cry. but now that ive experienced the deaths of 2 actually very close people counting one i couldnt grieve forproper #i just wish i had no emotions. that i wouldnt cry when i think of them. but especially him. #and i cant stop thinking about how awful ill be when my parents die. ill be a wreck. #im just crying in my bed and its 4am. everythibg sucks. im so sorry to everyone whos ever met me. im awful #negative / #death m / #suicide m /

[sparklev0id]

i am so responsible and functional and did not just waste hours on my phone instead of going and doing the really important thing i was supposed to do

#im great at being an adult actually #so so good #im glaf shes not disappointed but i still feel like a stupid baby #i hate this #i hate being like this #im supposed to be getting better and like i am and i see it but its still so slow. im still so scared #it shouldnt be this scary #i shouldnt still be comparing myself to everyone else but i cant help it why is it so much easier for them #im almost fucking 22 years old #it gets more humiliating every fucking day #everything i want to be is everything im not #everything i pretend to be #and like i knooowww people are always like 'everyone grows at their own pace uwu ur not alone uwu' but when i say everyone i mean #everyone In My Life. everyone i see around me and interact with #it doesnt make a difference to hear about some random theoretical person with my same problems when all ive actually experienced #is people doing better than me #it feels like ill never catch up #and i know theres no one 'right way' to live your life either #but i just want to feel good enough #i just want people to stop pitying me. i want to take care of myself

[daintylocket]

gm tumblr my head is clear

#coming back to vent in the tags bc i can make them suuuper long and also i can't remember my other alt priv twitter password #also i'll js rb a bunch of shit n no one will see this #so. my head is clear and its kinda scary #i've never felt this at ease and now im kinda addicted to the feeling #i feel at peace. like i'm going home. #like... i'm missing a place i've never been #or havent been in a while #and that place is mentally still? stable? happy? neutral? #idek but its not awful or pathetic or stupid and i want it so bad #and i'm getting mental stability from music that reeks of mental illness and i feel like a weirdo or sth and i hope i'm not #i can't stop crying either but its a clear headed cry #not a happy tears or sth but better than an angry or sad cry #i can't get over how safe i feel and #its scaring me bc i don't really ever remember this level of feeling safe literally inside my own head #if this was a book it would b when i get my memories back and stop wanting to kay em ess #but its not a book and i'm still stuck in the moment but at least i'm not beating myself up in my own head #i'll break down how i feel about each one in a minute #or not but i have another concern #is my friend gna dislike me over this....... #like imagine you rec someone songs you like and all of a sudden their mental state is hinging on it #isn't that weird wouldn't you be grossed out are they grossed out by me #god i hope not but i don't know if he'd tell me if he was #i hope they'd tell me because i think i'd cry if it turns out this year its her and i don't know if i'm being a good friend properly... #partially bc of my kinda touch aversion but also my overthinking and i dont know how to reach out w/o worrying if i'm overstepping #so i js kinda wait for the other person to do it first so ik where the boundaries are but that usually burns friendships out #bc they end up hating me and i hope that doesnt happen here bc i'm trying my best to figure this out #i'm not good at living but i want to be #dear god i don't do the proper conditions to be asking You for help this much but help me out #that was a lot but its out so thats sth #anyw goodbye tumblr

[81folklore]

i can do it with a broken heart - f1 grid

parings: gn!driver!reader x platonic!f1!grid x ex!jacob elordi

summary: after yn and their ex break up, they carry on as best they can and no one had any idea how bad they were struggling

type: social media au (smau)

notes: george is in this but he does not drive for mercedes, yn does. i also used a mixture of fem and masc pictures because i couldnt decide and thought you could just imagine whatever you wish!!

notes 2: probably the longest fic ive done so far but im pretty proud of it. the time stamps above each section are semi important so i would keep an eye on them!! also i know ive been gone for so long but i do not promise ill be back. alsoooo i know i only included a bit of the grid but i kept getting distracted and then couldn’t figure out how to include everyone!!

masterlist

march 2024

twitter

charles oh my god i cant believe my cat is finally the pfp

i have been waiting for YEARS

max yes well you better enjoy it because it’ll change soon and you’ll be back to waiting again.

lando jesus max do you have to use punctuation???

alex be glad he doesnt use captials

oscar one thing at a time lando, we dont want to scare him

max ???

lando anyway

yn mate you ok?

yourname im fine? ur scaring me you never ask how i am

lando yeah but usually your not single

lewis oh no! you and jacob split?

yourname yeah, wasnt working anymore

charles ah im sorry, that must suck😣

yourname i mean it does but its been coming for a long time so its not surprising

fernando hello! yn what is wrong? you always use emotes!

yourname theyre emojis nando, and im fine just a bit lost

fernando do not worry, i will come and find you!

yourname no, i dont mean literally just..we were together for so long i dont really know what to do now you know?

lando i get it, you wanna play tarkov with me???

yourname cheers ill get on now

george let us know if you need anything!

may 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and 814,583 others

p✌️ was just what we needed this weekend!

thank you to everyone who came out and supported myself and the team and huge thank you to the team for working so hard all weekend⭐️

view comments

mercedesamgf1 mega job this weekend yn👊 *liked by author*

landonorris nice to share the podium with you mate

yourusername same time next race?

user33 loved seeing you back on the podium

user2 absolutely smashing it this season

user21 more podiums please🤲 *liked by author*

user3 fourth podium of the year first p✌️*liked by author*

twitter

*pretend it says after march i changed dates around last min*

august 2024

yourusername

liked by lukehemmings, charles_leclerc and 1,124,642 others

did some reading, painting and writing

baked some good food and spent time with some good people, also got a cat…not bad for summer break☀️

view comments

user66 AHHHHHH

yourusername ahhhhhhh

user26 cats name plsplspls

yourusername norman🐱

lukehemmings nice music👍

yourusername woah arent you the guy who wrote mum?!

mercedesamgf1 ready to see you back on the podium

yourusername always!!!!

user74 have you had funnnn??

yourusername yesss!! ive been doing lots of things i enjoy, basically treating every day as my birthday😋

twitter

*was supposed to write them instead of her sorry!! was doing two stories at once and kept getting mixed up😅*

october 2024

yourusername

liked by mercedesamgf1, gracieabrams and 1,291,638 others

p☝️ for the 3rd time this season, very very pleased

huuuuuge thank you to the team, every single one of you who worked tirelessly over the summer break and every moment since then, these have been for you⭐️

view comments

user55 what a good season to be a yn fan *liked by author*

user6 these races have been incredible to watch, so proud

yourusername ⭐️⭐️

gracieabrams woop woop!!!!

yourusername 😝😝

user2 gracie??

user41 why have we not had any personal photo dumps yet😕😕

user88 right we miss seeing you yn!!

yourusername sorry guys😣ive been suuuper busy working on something i just honestly forgot

user41 NEW PROJECT?? WHEN?? (also pls dont feel bad we love u)

yourusername soon!! (and i love u guys too)

twitter

november 2024

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 3,689,921 others

tagged: taylorswift

i cannot believe i get to say this, but my new friend taylor just released a new album and i was able to write a song on the album

im honestly not sure how this came about but i had so much fun writing this and expressing all my thoughts and feelings in a way ive never done before

i poured my life and soul into this song and im so glad taylor is the one who is singing it and really bought it to life

send some love to my friend and go and stream THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT (most importantly i can do it with a broken heart😉)

comments have been limited

taylorswift thank you for trusting me with this song, so much love🤍

yourusername NO THANK YOU!!! i will be forever grateful⭐️⭐️

twitter

yourusername added to their story

seen by taylorswift, lewishamilton and 729,282 others

charles i feel completely betrayed yn

fernando oh no😟! what did yn do?

charles THEY DIDNT TELL ME THEY WERE WRITING A SONG??

AND WITH TAYLOR SWIFT HOW COULD YOU☹️☹️

yourname sorry charles, surprise?!

charles ill forgive you because its a good song

yourname thank you my life just got infinitely better!

yuki very good song yn! has been on repeat☺️

yourname thanks yuki, glad you like it!!

lando I LOVE IT TOO

but seriously are you ok?!

yourname yeahhh im better now

was just a lot to navigate

lewis glad you found an outlet! but remember you can always talk to any of us

yourname i know and i appreciate it, i really do

alex yn was that twitter thread right?

yourname mate youre going to have to elaborate

alex user56tweetlink

yourname oh pretty much yeah

some things were changed with taylor but not much

fernando just listened to the song yn! very nice👍well done!

yourname thank uu

max good song yn!

now

lando can you please tell me what you meant on your twitch stream!

oscar max is kind of scary

max dont make me talk about that interview next oscar!

#f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 smau #f1 social media au #social media au #formula 1 insta au #formula 1 social media au #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #f1 drabble #f1 x male reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic

[stillfacingthesky]

being trans is such a mindfuck. nobody knows who i am. i dont need to come out, im fine as i am. i hide behind my clothes. i dont recognise myself in the mirror. i dont know if i ever will. i want to transition. im scared of change. i want to be seen and known. i am in danger. queer joy is beautiful. i am more open than a queer person used to be able to be. someone like me was murdered yesterday. i saw their face on the news, and the reporter used the wrong name. wearing mens’ clothes brings me joy, and the joy is reminiscent of a little girl. i want to be pretty. my skin doesnt fit and my voice is not mine. im scared i might love my father more. i dont need to come out, i can manage this all. im going to die someday anyway, it wont matter. a kid was staring at me in the bookstore today and i saw my past in their eyes. i wonder if they saw their future in mine. i want to be someones boyfriend. i am my brothers sister. all bodies are beautiful except mine. god created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread. god hates fags. there is something wrong with me. if i ignore it, itll go away. its not going away. it hasnt gone away in seven years. i dont want to be a stereotype. i love brash vulgarity. my mother thinks i am beautiful. i share her face. i know ill regret it if i never come out. i dont want to waste my life wearing a costume. i dont know if i want to sacrifice the life that ive had for the life i could have. someone out there understands me. someone else would kill me without regret. someone would cry if i was gone. someone would praise my killer as a hero. there are photos and illustrations of people like me in the past. our history has been erased. theyre still trying to erase us. i dont know if the present is worth the future. i want to be happy. i dont feel like i deserve it. ‘female’ leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. ‘woman’ makes me see stars. i am one but not the other. i am the ghost of the person i want to be. i encourage others and love them regardless. i am a hypocrite. ive been in hiding since i was thirteen. i want to be loud. my mother spent nine months creating me. i will spend the rest of my life creating myself. i am scared. i am angry. i am beautiful and sickening and i want to rip my skin apart to make space for something new. my rage is glorious. they will never understand. i do not need them to. i am so lonely. i am an artist and i want to be a masterpiece. they call my creation mutilation. i dont want to make my parents sad. i want my brother to like me. i am visibly queer. that man shouted at me to smile because he was treating me like a woman. what i have right now is enough. i want more. i don’t know if ill ever have it. if i die tomorrow, i will be buried in a dress. it will be a dress that is already in my closet, a pretty dress that i havent worn in years.

#transmasc #trans #trans* #queerness #queer

[mistydeyes]

can you do a 141 boys (maybe + könig if u write for him :3) where they're all watching a horror movie together and expect reader to be scared of it, but instead reader is enjoying it and even laughing at some parts? like reader isnt phased by the horror at all, meanwhile soap is shitting his pants😭 <3

anon I LOVED THIS REQUEST! im a horror movie junkie myself and ill laugh while everyone is screaming :) this was close to home so I hope you enjoy!

horror movie protagonist

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

summary: Task Force 141 had an odd tradition of showing horror movies to their newest members and scaring the absolute living shit out of them. However, they're surprised when you start to commentate on the movie as if it was some nature documentary. They're even more surprised when you starting laughing hysterically.

pairing: Task Force 141, König x gn!platonic!Reader (codename: Monsoon)

warnings: SWEARING, fictional movie violence (but GORY IMAGERY SO BE WARNED and also spoilers for Martyrs

┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊ ⋆ ┊ . ┊ ┊┊

Despite being trained soldiers and experiencing all types of horror on the battlefield, the 141 still acted like American frat boys. Once the guns were all locked away and they changed out of their fatigues, they were the absolute worst. One of their hazing rituals was to make their newest member watch a gruesome or terrifying horror movie. The ritual started when Gaz joined, they made him sit through Hostel and he still fears traveling. Next was Soap and he shared Gaz's sentiments after watching Infinity Pool and experiencing the absolute terror that is Mia Goth. They even roped König into their routine and watched as he held his hands over his eyes and sat through Megan is Missing. Poor boy couldn't even hide behind his mask as he watched the horrifying images of Megan appear on the screen.

After a good training session with the team, they invited you to watch a movie in the common room. It was your first week as an official addition to the 141 and you were happy to participate in some comradery. You headed off to the showers before the film and couldn't see the devious faces of Gaz and Soap. They had a plan for you that night and were excited to continue the tradition. "You don't think it'll be too scary?" Gaz said to Soap as they walked to the showers. "We picked a solid one," he replied but shuttered when he remembered his experience, "still can never look at me in the mirror."

After your shower, you dried your damp hair as you entered the common room. Your team had used their strength from training to move together two couches and a few chairs in front of the television. "Ready for movie night, Monsoon?" Kyle asked as he appeared with some popcorn. You grabbed a handful before you nodded. You took a seat next to Soap and Gaz joined on your other side. Price was lounging on one of the chairs and Ghost sat with König to his left. "We picked a good one, just for you," Soap said with a suspicious smirk but you shrugged as he unpaused the film. "What is it?" you questioned as you looked around to see everyone had a similar expression. "Nothing like you haven't seen before" Price replied and you nodded as you turned to the screen.

The movie opened with a family enjoying dinner and you rolled your eyes at the thought of another heartwarming piece. Before you could speak up, a woman entered and brutally murdered the family one by one with a shotgun. "Fuckin' hell," Ghost muttered as the blood stained the screen and you couldn't help but feel a little skeptical. "The blood is too red, they could've done a better job," you muttered and Soap looked at you as if you were insane. You threw your hands up defensively in response. "I'm just saying," you muttered and the film continued.

The next scene you had commentary on was when Anna was exploring underneath the house and discovered a secret chamber. There, she discovered a woman with a steel blindfold attached to her face. "Holy shit," Gaz whispered as they zoomed in to the metal mixing with his scarlet blood. König was silent but it was clear he was fearing the worst as he tried to look away. "How is she even still alive?" Price uttered and you chimed in. "Exactly! It's an actual death sentence and just unrealistic that they can screw that in and not have her die from blood loss," you exclaimed, pointing at the screen. Yet again, everyone looked at you incredulously. "You can't expect me to watch a movie and not point out the flaws."

You remained relatively silent and kept your opinions to yourself until Anna became the latest subject and experienced brutal beatings and verbal degradations. With every shot, everyone turned away but you just rolled your eyes. You even looked bored at some points, much to the confusion of everyone in the room. Even Ghost was a bit disturbed by the brutality of the movie and put down his plate of leftovers. "I don't get what's so scary," you mumbled and Gaz lightly hit your leg to silence your sarcastic commentary.

Eventually, Anna reached the "final stage." The screen was filled with horrifying imagery and in the middle of it König took a break to walk away and hit the head. You continued watching the spectacle and tried to keep your thoughts to yourself. However, as Ghost and Price looked disgusted as the doctor peeled off her skin in a few fleshy sheets, you couldn't hold it in any longer. You laughed as the attention was on you again. "What now, Sergeant?" Price asked, bewildered. "It's just so anatomically impossible for her to survive, I mean look at her she's practically being skinned alive," you exclaimed and pointed at the screen. König had the unfortunate timing of returning when the camera zoomed in on Anna and you could hear him turn around and walk away. You chuckled as Gaz's covered his eyes to block the sight of Anna sitting in a comatose state with nothing left except for her muscles and veins.

Soap had enough and grabbed the remote to pause the film. "Okay, what the fuck, Monsoon," he interrogated and you could feel the spotlight fall on you. "What do you mean, Soap? I'm just saying the obvious," you replied back and childishly crossed your arms. "No," Gaz continued, "why are you so unfazed?" You laughed suddenly and your sides began to hurt before you recovered. "Stuff like this doesn't scare me at all," you said as you wiped some tears from your eyes. "So you're telling me you watch this for fun?" Price joined in and you nodded in response.

"Oh yeah, I love horror movies!" you explained as they looked at you wide-eyed. Ghost laughed loudly at the reveal. "I've watched all kinds of messed up shit," you continued, "From The Human Centipede to Hostel, I've seen it all." Gaz looked at Soap and you could see the glint of disappointment in their eyes. "Were-were you trying to make me scared?" you questioned and the two nodded. "It's a tradition we have in the 141, watch a gruesome movie and get the shit scared out of you," he replied quietly and you couldn't help but feel a little bad. "We can still continue?" you offered but Ghost shook his head as he got up. "If I don't have to sit through this, I won't," he said and waved off before heading to his quarters. Price followed suit and Gaz began to clean up, leaving only you and Soap on the couch.

"You are fucking crazy," Soap swore and you shot a look at him. "You telling me that was scary to you, Sergeant?" you said skeptically and Gaz laughed in response. As he shook his head in refusal, you knew how you would get back at him. A week later Soap's screams filled the base as you had snuck a picture of the martyred Anna into one of his nudie magazines. "Serves you right, Mactavish," you smiled to yourself before you settled back onto the couch and played the first movie of your Insidious marathon.

#task force 141 x reader #task force 141 #cod x reader #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii #modern warfare 2 #simon ghost riley #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #mw2 imagine #madebyizzie #141 headcanons #mw2 headcanons #mw2 #johnny soap mactavish #konig modern warfare #izzie is writing

[allfortheslay25]

im here asking for specific oc lore abt amirah bahar because im js so happy theres a hijabi muslim character like AHHHHHH

like is that myself?? i see??? also omg if shes desi like pakistani ill love u forever

I’m glad you love Mirah! Gotta admit she is one of my favorites of my Foxes :)

Tw topics: physical/sexual abuse, stalking, violent and murder

Mirah’s mother was Pakistani/Palestinian and her bio father was Pakistani. Since she lives with her stepdad who is Palestinian, she tends to identify with it more

Mirah’s birth father was very abusive to her and her mother growing up and when her mother married her step father, that didn’t stop. Her birth father would often stalk the two of them and wait for her step dad to be at work before he’d break into their home and r/pe Mirah’s mother. Mirah’s mother was scared her husband would leave if he knew and so this went on for five years. Mirah would sometimes be sexually abused by her father too, but she could never find hate or blame for her mother. They were both victims

Eventually, Mirah’s father killed her mother after finding out her mother was pregnant and it definitely wasn’t his child. He was always controlling and obsessed with her mother so the news led him to beating her to death. Mirah had called her step dad while she was hiding and hoped he’d get home in time to save her mother.

Unfortunately, her mother didn’t make it. Mirah’s father was sent to prison and her step dad put in as much work as he could to get Mirah some help to deal with the trauma. Her stepdad taught her to play exy while they tried to bond after her mother’s death.

Mirah had trouble connecting with ppl at school. She’d always had a short temper and the stress of her mother’s death only worsened this. Many exy teams didn’t want to scout her since she was known for her bad attitude.

Ofc Wymack caught an interest in her and recruited her for the Foxes. She soon became captain until an incident caused her to step down and hand over the mantle early to Jackie Jane. Mirah really loves Betsy and her stepdad tries to come to her games any chance he gets (most times Mirah has to convince him not to skip his work)

If you want more fun facts, I’d love to share more. Sorry this took so long to get out😅

#aftg #all for the game #art #doodles #aftg oc #oc art #aftg oc facts hour #oc #Amirah Bahar

[msxrik]

I'm in my era so catch the 1st and prob the only Dr.masacrik smut on this app.

Curiosity killed the Cat

Fem!reader x Masacrik

warnings: this is obv a little fucked up so just a heads up. Heavy bdsm, dubcon, breeding kink, choking, blood, abuse just a little ill make it as mild as i can, sexual content, mimi isn't mentioned as you are in her place atm the ending is rushed its 3am

Sorry for the mistakes i have to go to sleep man

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You woke up in the same room as always, white walls, a small window, dark floor with a grey rug. But something felt different. You turned your head to catch a glimpse of the door when you saw it crooked open your heart skipped a beat. Then you felt an exhale on your head. You totally forgot you fell asleep on his lap while he was stroking your hair. You looked up gently thinking masacrik might be asleep but there he meets your eyes with a smile on his face. You shivered. Were you scared of him? No he never hit you, just ordered you around the house and you do appreciate him for saving your life. Were you manipulated? Probably yes! But you never thought about it. You shoot him a crooked smile as you try to wipe the blush off your face.

-Ah look who finally woke up- he says stroking your head lovingly.

-sorry i fell asleep i should get up-

He shushed you

-come on i have work to do and you are going with me.

He got up and you followed him to his room. After getting a few things he sat down by his desk patting his thigh. You sat on his lap as he rests his chin on the top of your head

-You see i have to focus so don't you move a muscle you hear me?- his tone changed as a shiver runs up your spine you nod your head. In response you get a pleased hum and a kiss on the top of your head.

You tried to relax there not moving as he asked of you. You knew his mood swings but he got so angry at one point you flinched. He froze in response.

- i-im sorry this won't happen again...

- get out. - he said.

Now, getting his negative and abusive attention is better than receiving none. You thought for a second, deciding to disobey him, you were curious. You turned around facing him cupping his face into your hands. As you gave him a small kiss on his lips. Shutting your eyes you felt so much fear but at the same time that familiar heat in your stomach you got every time he called your name or smiled at you.

There was silence, but he didn't kick you out of the room, he didn't hit you, he just looked at you.

-uh.. im- im really sorry i have no idea what's gotten into me im- ill leave now...-you sighed attempting to get off of his lap. You both were together for three months now and it was getting harder for you to please yourself.

-Stay - he slurred out holding you by your waist.

You looked up at his face as he leaned in to kiss you. It was a deep kiss he bit at your lower lip drawing blood from it as it dribbled down your and his chin. You pulled away gasping for air. The eyes you gave him flipped some kind of switch inside him. He got up with you in his arms. It was easy you were nearly half his size. You heard your heartbeat as he threw you onto the bed, he kissed you deeply once again you felt his hand undoing the collar you had on. Then he pulled off your turtle neck leaving you in just a bra skirt and tights.

You reached your hands out for him as he leaned to you kissing your neck leaving bite marks and bruises all over your body. He pulled at your tights ripping them just enough to have a clear way to your crotch then he sat back on the bed. The room was dimmed you just saw his hungry gaze almost eating up your body.

-touch yourself for me.

-h-huh?-you barely stuttered that out he made you feel fear and embarrassment but it was turning you on more.

- I'm not repeating myself. You think that your room is unsupervised? I see you doing it all the time now don't be shy show me.

You sigh in embarrassment as you reach down your crotch sliding your underwear away rubbing your clit with your free hand, your legs shaking already. You slid one finger inside pushing that spot that made you see stars. Then you added another one and as you were about to reach your climax you made the terrible mistake of closing your legs. You felt his hands on your legs in seconds pushing them open, his hard grasp bruising your soft flesh as you gasped

- m-mnh... Im sorry...- you sighed out as you kept pushing your fingers in and out. Just to once again as you were closer then ever get stopped by him

- wait, i want to feel you cum on my dick.

He said that like it was the most casual thing on earth. You took your hand away and felt something cold touching your crotch you looked down to see a pair of scissors you shivered as he cut your underwear out of the way. He wanted to have you in those cute tights but taking the underwear off and putting them back on was too big of a struggle for him. Then you finally felt the thing you wished for for the past 2 months.

He slammed his hips sliding inside you as you moaned arching your back.

-A-agh! Mngh.. im- im cumming, please can i..?

-mmh not yet..

he was so amused with you and the second he felt your walls spasm on his dick he clicked his tongue as his hand went right to your throat squeezing it

-what did i tell you? -he growled but then his expression changed

-did you just tighten up from having my hand around your neck? Disgusting..

he smiled to himself as you clawed at his hand. When he finally let go of your neck you gasped for air

-f-fuck mnh... Please please move faster i need this i-...

He bucked his hips faster he wasn't that happy with how you were acting but he could handle it at that moment..

-im gonna cum inside you you'll never leave me then right?

-i-i would never leave you either w-way.. mnhh..~

He laughed his voice now breaking

-oh you a-are so pathe-etic..

He finally came inside you as you shook through another orgasm. But this wasn't the end of that night... Oh hell no

After you passed out from the rough treatment he gave you and blood loss from the bites and cuts he made he cleaned you up then tuck you into bed hugging you

-Goodnight Ushka~

//////////////////////////

This man makes me BLUSH

#masacrik #psychonyashki #psychocuties #doctor masacrik #smut #masacriksmut #psychonyashkismut

[wishful-seeker]

I have 0% tolerance for doctors anymore, if they treat me shitty once they will again, thus I'll either drop them or file a complaint.

Before my CRPS was diagnosed i was too scared to stand up to doctors. The pain made me SO DESPERATE i was willing to deal with anything. Now that i have this new undiagnosed illness i realized my body and mind PHYSICALLY cannot do that anymore.

The second to last time i didn't stand up for myself with a doctor i punched the medical bed as soon as she left the room, the last time i couldn't even hear what he said because i was busy restraining myself from punching HIM. i was seeing red, face twitching and everything. My body literally cannot take being quiet anymore. I do not care if i make things more difficult. I don't care if it takes longer to get diagnosed because im pushing for better treatment. I would rather stand up for myself and physically suffer more than let these doctors believe they are allowed to treat me like a dog. They don't treat me like a HUMAN, they don't see us as HUMAN. They see us as pests. A burden, a problem to solve. And if they can't solve you THEY FUCKING HATE YOU. but i think i hate them more.

Doctors are in a gross position of power over their patients, they decide if you live or die, your existence is in their hands, you beg them for help because they are your God and they spit in your face. Even if you literally cry and beg them to help they will give you NOTHING and i know this because thats what i did. I literally BEGGED these people sobbing to help my pain and they did nothing. They do not care about you. They never will. We are not people to them. Nurses are often the same way. I've had nurses and doctors lie straight to my face, make faces when i tell them my story, and do other horrible things.

I can't do it. I can't deal with it anymore. I will fight tooth and nail and be the biggest Karen in existence to these doctors the SECOND they treat me wrong.

I have found two. TWO doctors out of over 50 that i actually like. 2 that treat me appropriately and not like im a bug. 2 that treat me like a human being.

#tw medical trauma #tw medical gaslighting #cripplepunk #cripple punk #physical disability #chronically ill #doctors are scum

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 6

• summary {in which an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

• warnings {angst, it gets cute at the end tho}

averys pov

“avery why cant we tell them” azzi yells, this has been our third fight this week about this topic

“azzi you know why we cant” i say, sternly

“no i dont, thats why im asking”

“azzi, bellas in the other room. shut up” i say

“ok, fuck you” say says, walking out

azzis pov

azzi

- u home

paige

- pls dont come

- stay with avery please

azzi

- im coming

fuck paige has been weird lately, and she wont tell me

its definitely something with bella

i don’t know how bella doesn’t notice

paige is in love with her

“azzi what did i say” paige says, yelling, tears flooding her eyes and the neck of her shirt

“paige whats happening” i say, genuinely concerned for my best friend

she begins wailing. i’ve never seen her cry like this before

i quickly wall up and embrace her

“i fucked it” she says, barley getting her words out

“i want her and ill never be able to make her mine” she continues

“bella?” i question

“yes” she says, raising her voice

“im calling her”

“no, azzi, no, please don’t. please” she says, pleading, her voice growing louder

“paige, you need to talk to her. i’ve never seen you like this before” i say, authoritatively

“she hates me”

azzi is calling bella

“hey bella”

“hey”

“can you come over”

“yeah ill come now”

call ended

“paige this is a good thing, you guys need to talk”

bellas pov

i know this is about paige

id be lying if i said i was fine about this situation

i’m reality, i’ve been crying. everyday. at any given opportunity

i dont have any resentment towards paige, even though i definitely should. i mean, what she did was fucked

and she never explained herself, all she could say is “i cant do it” like what the fuck does that mean

knock, fuck i should leave

knock, i hate her

knock, no i dont

“hey bella” azzi says, bringing me into her embrace. i know azzi and avery are dating, but they cant tell anyone because avery cheated on jake with azzi, and she hates what she did. but she truly does love the girl, cute. i hate love

“paige is in her room”

walking towards paiges room, nerves surprisingly aren’t present. i felt calm, normal

“who is it” paige yells, across the door

“bella” i say, yelling back

paiges pov

“shit shit shit” i say to myself, i look awful. i didn’t think she would actually show up

i’ve been crying for what feels like years, and i finally can get everything off my chest. but i’m more terrified than ever before

she opens the door. fuck

“hey paige” she says softly, i cant bear to look at her. i dont want to see how she has effected me

“paige look at me” she says, sitting down next to me, leaning over. hand on my knee

i look at her

shock plastered on her face

she says nothing, bringing me close and wrapping her arms around me, protectively

“im so sorry” i say into her chest

“paige its ok, im not mad”

“yes you are, i fucked up” i say, tears beginning to form again

she moves so we are face to face, her laying on top of me

“you dont know how bad i want you bella, but i’m, i’m scared” i say, i’ve never been this vulnerable with a girl before. i feel weak

“paige its ok, theres no pressure” she says, reassuringly

“i know you dont feel the same, thats why ive been so down”

“how do you know, paige” she says, sternly. contrasting her previous tone

“it’s obvious” i say. is it?

“no its not, i want you the same amount that you want me” she says, staring intently into my tear filled eyes, that are forming once again

“really” i say, genuinely confused

“yes” she says, slightly laughing

this cant be real, how, what, when, where, why.

after everything i’ve done, she still likes me?

“paige, you there” she says, commenting on my spacing out

“are you sure” i say, coming back to reality

she responds by gently pressing her lips to my own

this kiss was different than any others i’ve experience, its sweet, loving. reflecting of how i feel about her, and i guess how she feels about me.

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers x reader #uconn wbb #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers headcannons #paige bueckers smut #uconn huskies #uconn women’s basketball #uconn #azzi fudd

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Chris sturniolo fanfiction -first time

Smut 18+ no minors beyond this point thanks .

Word count 2k

Summary -you stay with the triplets as the house is infected with COVID ,while you spend all day every day with your boyfriend and important event happens .

Warnings - smut , mentions of COVID, honest first time experience, mentions of blood,oral sex female recieving, penetrative sex chris X reader.small age gap (20 and reader being 22)

No y/n

Not proof read

If I've misses anything please let me know

Well my trip to see my boyfriend and his brothers didn't go the way we expected .Nick , Chris and Matt went to do their weekly car video and poor nick coughing like no tomorrow I stayed at their house catching up on sleep .I was woken up when they returned at 2:30 am hearing nick telling his younger brothers how bad his throat feels .I hear Chris suggest "why don't you do a COVID test , you know just incase ?" I heard nick snigger with him believing that he couldn't possibly have COVID .

5 minutes later all I heard for a chorus of the 3 of them all saying shit , I jumped to the conclusion that nick had received a positive result ....I knew then that Chris and I would be spending alot of time alone all of a sudden .I was brought of of my sleep daze when my perfect boyfriend walked into the room with a COVID test in his hand , he was surprised to see I was already sat up in bed awaiting for him .

" Bad news nicks got COVID , Matt has tested negative and so have I but we're all going to stay in our rooms to stop it spreading , I'm gonna need you to take a test too .Even if it's positive you can stay with me baby " he said the last part so sweetly knowing i have a fear of sick and illness.

I do the test finishing it with a sneeze as Chris gets ready for bed .We wait 3 minutes to see that I'm negative too , Chris sends a quick message to his brothers telling him the news .

We both settle down in the covers while we put on a film , Chris lets me pick it this time knowing that I will most likely fall asleep early into it meaning he can change it over shortly.I pick the film 'after' , we're half way through the film and as the characters finish at the wedding they return home and begin to have sex with it being the girls first time and the guy having experience .I shift uncomfortably as I imagine myself and Chris being in the same situation with me still being a virgin and Chris having experience.I was very open with him about this when we started dating , he has always been understanding about it and never rushed me .

Chris notices my sudden shift as I press my thighs together, I then start yawning more frequently my sudden awakening earlier now catching up to me ."shall we go sleep now love" I hear Chris whisper to me assuming that his brothers was asleep already ."ye-" I begin to respond yes when I'm cut out by yet another yawn .He laughs at this and begins pulling me into him so I can lay my head on his chest as he aims to hold me until i fall asleep .

We're silent for 5 minutes,I can't get the picture of Chris and I being in the position of the characters out of my head .I assume Chris has fell asleep as I'm caught up in my own thoughts to notice how his soft snores haven't started yet.

"Baby I noticed earlier when the film was on how you was when the sex scene came on, what's on your mind?" His soft voice brought me out of my train of thought.I frozen trying to think quickly of what to say feeling all of a sudden very embarrassed at his mention.I stay silent "it's nothing to be embarrassed about babe just tell me and we can talk it through and see what can be done " he says comfortingly.

I take a deep breath and a quick pause "okay ...well it's been playing on my mind recently ..." He hums in response, I pause again "just say it baby " he whispers as he stroke my hair trying his best to comfort me ."I've been thinking about us having sex , im ready i swear im just scared" i waffle onto him .

He pauses for a second " why didn't you tell me love,we can do it whenever you're ready , I'm going to be honest it's not going to be like the films it could be painful, there could be blood .I've looked it up but it'll be okay baby , I'll make it as comfortable as possible for you baby I swear I'll take care of you "

As each words fall out of his mouth I couldn't fall more in love with him , I have no response to him i just lean up and give him a passionately kiss ."i love you " i whisper to him , he responds with a simple "i love you too " he looks so beautiful as his skin is lightened up by his red led strip lights around his bed .

I decided in that moment that I wanted to be with him , connected to him in anyway I can .I show him this with yet another passionate kiss , "are you sure you want this baby?" He asks concern in his eye."I'm 1000% sure I want to be with you in every way right now " I respond.He shifts from under me leaving with a quick kiss and he goes to the bathroom, he returns with a towel and some little tea lights that he had already lit and had placed on either side of the bed as he lays the towel in the middle of the bed over the sheet and he returns back to the bed I move onto the towel allowing space for Chris to get back on the bed , he kisses me with more passionate as he moves on top of me I naturally open my legs so that they can rest on his hips and he can lay between my legs .

The kissing continues with more passion as I grab at his shirt , he takes my hint and takes it off he quickly returns a quick kiss to my lips .His finger tips brush slightly against my waist just in my shirt ." Take it off ... please" I whisper against his lips .He pulls back and takes my oversized shirt off , I'm left in just my underwear feeling exposed I quickly reach to cover my chest but I'm stopped by Chris's fingers drawing shapes on my hands "don't do that baby , you're beautiful"

He says admiring me .

I remove my hands as he kisses down my neck , he looks up at me quickly " just say the word girly and I'll stop"I nod my head quickly in anticipation on waiting for what is about to happen I've thought about it so much but to actually be in it now feels surreal.

He leaves sweet kissed down my neck and to my breasts , the kisses so light they tickle against my skin .He reaches my nipple and takes it in his mouth as soon as he has it I'm over taken by pleasure I never thought was possible.With his hand massaging my other breast he continues to swap between each breast and nipple .

His free hand subconsciously finds it's way to the hem line of my underwear he feels me tense up lightly surprised by the roughness of his fingers .

"Sorry" he replies quickly , I shake my head ."take them off please" I say to him , he looks me in the eyes looking for a change of my mind .He removes them so quickly and throws them to the floor he looks down "so beautiful" he whispers to himself I blush at his comment.

He starts to kiss down my stomach going over my stomach and kissing my hip bones .I already know that the site of him I'm soaked and by the smile on his face , he knows too .

"Can I " he asks I nod my head in response " I need to hear you use your words princess" he says against my hips."yes" I respond blushing at his new nickname for me .As soon as the word falls out of mouth his mouth is wrapped around my bud and when his mouth isn't sucking on my sensitive nub , his tongue is running up and down my slit collecting any wetness my body has created .Im a moaning mess and glad to know that his brothers bedrooms are on a different level.

After endless minutes of pleasure purely by Chris's mouth he looks at me "I'm gonna use my finger , is that okay baby" he asks I return a breathy "yes" in response.Again as soon as the word falls out of my my his pushes one of his slender fingers into my heat , he continues thrusting his digit into me and the slight uncomfortable feeling is overwhelmed by the immense pleasure I feel building in my stomach and his tongue works just as fast in my clothes as his finger is with my heat .

I pull his hair and feel him moan against my heat cause my orgasm to rip through my body I'm a moaning , shaking mess and Chris continues to ride me through my orgasm .I open my eyes to see him hovering over me ,his lips wet with what's left over of my orgasm.

I noticed the tent that's in his boxers nerves and excitement ripping through my body just like the orgasm beforehand .I reach down to pull them down and his size springs up and slaps him on his stomach ."are you ready baby you can still say no" he says concern evident in his voice ."yes im ready" I whisper with a kiss he quickly leans over to open a condom wrapper .The more I look at his member the bigger it seems to grow by the second , he rolls it down his cock and lines it up with my entrance .With one look again to ask consent i nod my head and rest my hands on his broad shoulders .

As soon as he pushes in the instance stretch and pain shoots through me , my grip tightens on his shoulders and my eyes closed with my face contorting in pain ."breathe through it baby just breathe" he kisses my lips so sweetly until I nod to him so he can move , he starting thrusting in and out of me as the pain quickly becomes pleasure im moaning into Chris's mouth and he does the same to me .In minutes he's thrusting into me at a inhumane speed , he quickly rubs circles on my clit .His lips so close to mine he moans "cum for me baby , on 3 we cum together" he suggest to me , I nod my head .

"1.......2........3" he whispers and we're both moaning messes and I fell myself come undone yet again around his cock and I feel him filling up the condom inside of me .We both open our eyes , still connected and he kisses me as he pulls out leaving me wincing at the slight pain it causes.

We spend minutes naked , catching our breath in comfortable silence ."we should go and cleaned up baby" he breaks the silence as he takes the condom off and places it in the bin .

He picks me up bridal style , both naked and carries me to his bathroom.He leaves me to go toilet and the instant burn is beyond uncomfortable, he returns back with a pair of his jogging bottoms and a sports bra of mine , he brings me fresh underwear and pulls out a sanitary pad .

He hands it to me getting down to my eye level " how you feeling baby" he asks "sore I say but so happy , what's that for" I ask nodding to the pad ." You bleed abit babe" he says with sorry in his eyes .I go red in embarrassment " it's perfectly normal baby just pop this on and we can go cuddle and sleep " I obliged and once I'm done he carries me again bridal style back to bed .

We get comfy again "I'm so proud of you baby , I love you so much" he whispers to me as I drift to sleep in his hair .

This took forever guys but I hope you like it , please like comment and follow if you can

Xoxo hj

#chris sturniolo #fanfiction #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #mattsturniolo #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine