Tumgik
#and if you're not my professor
ask-zerotrio · 4 months
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Happy New Year
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mandykurosaki · 1 year
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The great scholar, Luchino, is gone forever.
Happy 3rd anniversary my love!!!!! 🦎🧪💚
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crispycreambacon · 2 months
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Hello LGBT+ community 🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑🧑‍🤝‍🧑
I just wanted to doodle them because I can. I'm still in love with them. They're altered my brain chemistry. Uhm. Suggestive art below. Don't ask man I–
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ft. a note from my best friend son Elliot
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becca-e-barnes · 7 months
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I've been writing my dissertation like that gif of the cat frantically slamming a keyboard (you know the one) but it's got me thinking about professor Bucky and how he might incentivise you to get your work done for his class 😏
"You're not getting an extension. Don't even think about e-mailing me for one." The hardest part of dating your lecturer isn't actually the sneaking around; it's that he's a hell of a lot tougher on you than the rest of the class.
"But Bucky I-" You begin but he cuts you off and you know by the look on his face that there's no point pressing it.
"No. You're more than capable and you've got plenty of time to get it done. You don't need an extension, you need to apply yourself."
God, he's annoying. You know you can do it, you never said you couldn't. You just don't want to. There's a massive difference.
He pulls his copy of the required reading out of his bag, setting it on the desk beside your laptop and it takes everything in you not to bury your head in your hands.
"There. I've helped you enough." He nods towards the textbook but when you don't move, he flicks through the pages with a sigh, leaving it open at the chapter you know you should start with.
You sit there for another few seconds in a foul mood, mentally preparing yourself to sit here for the next few hours.
"How about I help you? I get the impression you need an incentive." He knows you too well, there's nothing more motivating than a little treat. "You have 12,000 words to write. For every 1,000 you write this week, I'll give you an orgasm."
Maybe you should complain about his assignments more often.
"Deal." Hell, if you'd known this was coming, you'd have started ages ago.
"Good girl." He laughs, amused at the rate at which your fingers begin to dance over the keyboard.
Getting started isn't too hard. You type out a quick plan of your chapters, dropping in the sources you know you'll need before starting your introduction and with your focus on your work, you hardly notice Bucky sinking to his knees under the desk.
You feel his warm, open mouthed kisses trailing up your thighs under your skirt and his soft groans drag your attention away from the laptop.
"Don't stop working." He insists, licking your sex through your cotton underwear, letting you enjoy the delicious friction on your cunt. "You're almost at the first thousand and it reads well so far." You feel his hot breath against the now wet cotton while one of your hands falls to tug his hair.
"If you stop typing, I stop licking." He threatens, pulling your panties to the side, gliding his tongue against your skin and groaning at the taste of your arousal.
You have just over 200 words until you reach your first thousand and it should be so easy but it becomes even harder when he sinks two fingers into you and you're able to hear how wet you are already.
His lips engulf your clit, sucking gently while flicking his tongue in vertical strokes in time with his fingers curling inside you. "Such a smart girl. I'm so proud of you." He hums before giving you a few broad strokes with a flat tongue.
He knows what his praise does to you and with your thighs clamped around his head, you fly your way through a few hundred more words. He chuckles when you proudly announce you reached a thousand but you don't stop typing at the same frantic pace.
"Sweetheart, if you want to get all 12,000 done this evening, I'll sit here as long as it takes." He smiles against your skin before giving you everything he knows you need. His tongue flicks quickly over your clit and his fingertips rub against the soft, spongy spot inside you and in no time you're gushing against his face, gripping his hair and riding your high out on his waiting tongue.
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bumblingbabooshka · 9 months
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Hey, Star Trek Writers... -taps the glass-
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more memo pad doodles
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shaniacsboogara · 10 months
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fun fact: the professor is asexual
why you ask? because i said so and it’s pride month 🤭
YES YOU'RE SO RIGHT AS A FELLOW ACE WATCHERINA I SECOND THIS
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lunarharp · 5 months
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Very important conferences.
#witch hat tag#orufrey#some real serious discussions goin on in this atelier today. dont u doubt it.#agott is the only one who has ever thought about this because she is a 12 year old lesbian and UMM..FRIEND? LIKE FRIEND? IS THAT..LEGAL???#this is all i drew today because silly things like this take hours lol. at least it's practice for poses -_-#i got the pattern of the girls' dresses wrong but i couldn't be bothered to change halfway through.#don't worry if you're like what is the naakiwan downs. is that name even mentioned in the main manga#ANYWAY i KEEP thinking about what if it's actually banned for professors and watchful eyes to date like that would make a lot of sense.#like maybe it should be banned. SO??? are they just low-key Aware of what the deal is and they're just Putting their feelings aside#until graduation??? take my tassel as an unspoken reminder of how i feel?? living together trial period?? this feels like it's truly it#When we're free to be together........ Sensei loves homophobia parallels without there actually being homophobia#Let's invent reasons why men cant be together. Ummm well whatever. i'm screaming in my head but it's fine.#this will probably form the theme of my orufrey for a while. i've thought of this before but for some reason today it's big for me.#i guess the tassels might not specifically be a part of that since they exchanged them before tower of books#and qifrey made his mysterious decision to be a teacher after that and..well whatever. I need more of backstory and just..everything?#But i also don't mind when vinanna interrupts my wishes with just a chapter of just being really dreamy? I love witch hat?
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vvanini · 10 months
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Guys omg I was doodling but I can't anymore because his cuteness has overpowered me and I can't focus anymore !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! look at this baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will die for him
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silversimp · 1 year
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Extra Credit
Professor Erwin Smith x Fem Student Reader
4,092 words - nsfw - minors dni
If there was one thing you were certain of it was that no one was lying when they said college professors were nothing like highschool teachers. Especially in the case of your gorgeous history professor Erwin Smith. Light blue button up struggling to contain him, buttons straining over his built chest and white undershirt peeking out through the gaps. 
Everything about him was unbelievably hot, from the way he moved to the way his voice captured the whole room. Many classes you found yourself completely distracted by him, large arms holding textbooks and long fingers pointing at the words he'd written on the board. If it wasn't for his booming voice you'd probably miss more than half of what he was saying. The man really commanded his space, no one could stop themselves from listening to him. 
Unfortunately you didn't seem to be retaining enough information, he'd drawn a sad face next to the abysmal grade you'd gotten on his last quiz. You couldn't help but giggle a little at the thought of such a serious man drawing smiley faces on his graded assignments. He'd also jotted down at the bottom of the paper to meet him during his office hours when you had the chance, so you could make up the grade. 
Feeling very nervous about speaking one on one with the most beautiful man you've ever seen, you tried your best to seem chill as you waited for him outside his office door. You'd gotten to his office a few minutes early, when you knocked there had been no answer. So you waited. Waiting only made you feel even more nervous though. 
"Early, good girl" Erwin smiled as he walked up to you, inside you wanted to scream. Unable to look him in the eye as you greeted him, your vision hit the floor, slowly working up to his face. His slacks were a little too tight and putting his thigh muscles on display, the outline of his manhood made you quickly find something on the floor to look at while he unlocked his door, "come on in, I have a few extra credit options for you." 
"Thank you," it came out a mumble as you stepped inside the office, Erwin closing and locking the door behind you made your heart hammer against your chest. There was obviously no dubious reason for him to do that, he probably just didn't want anyone walking in while he worked with you. That's all. 
"Please sit, I'll gather the options" he gestured to a chair for you before walking around his desk, rummaging through a drawer before pulling out a folder, "based on your previous work in my class, you'll probably prefer the essay" he said softly, looking over the contents of the folder as he sat down across from you, "but there's also the option to retake the quiz entirely." 
"Essay about what?" You watched his hands, they moved so solidly across the papers. Blue veins like raging rivers down his forearms, a simple watch hugging his thick wrist. 
"I have a list here" he handed you a paper, seven different essay questions from the last three chapters you'd been working on in class, "pick whichever you'd like. Three pages and due by Monday, please." 
You had a busy weekend already, trying to add this paper to the list felt a bit daunting, "maybe it would be easier to retake the quiz" you looked up, the man was loosening his tie as he leaned back in his chair. You felt every hair on your body stand at attention, "I don't have a lot of extra time to work on this" your voice shaking as you placed the paper down on the desk. 
"We could do a retake on Tuesday" he leafed through a planner that had been sitting neatly in front of him, "or you could earn the grade another way, today." 
Your face heated up, his tone had been completely neutral but it didn't stop your mind from finding the dirtiest option imaginable. You stared at him for a moment, Erwin still looking through his planner. There was no way your hot professor was actually propositioning you for sex for a better grade. That had to just be your mind going wild with ridiculous fantasies. 
"Unless you're busy today as well" he closed the planner and looked back at you, though his voice was normal his eyes weren't. Lust and desire swimming in pools of blue, slowly being eaten up by his pupils. Your face was going red, still trying to rationalize that this wasn't actually happening. 
"Do you want me to take the quiz again now?" You asked quietly, worried if you spoke any louder you wouldn't be able to keep the words steady. A chuckle escaped him as he pulled at his tie again, this time fully removing it before tossing it on his desk. Your mouth watered as he undid his top two buttons, a lazy smile on his lips. 
"Sorry I'm all out of copies at the moment, I was thinking my lesson must not have stuck with you well enough. I'm willing to use this time now to go over the chapters" Erwin spoke slowly, deep voice rather quiet compared to how loudly he spoke in class. You tried to inconspicuously wipe your sweaty hands off on your leggings, feeling extra stupid for thinking he'd meant anything other than something actually educational. 
"Yeah, I don't have any other classes for today" you tried to relax, pleased to be getting some extra attention from your professor but still nervous as all hell. 
"Wonderful," he smiled before sitting up straight. You watched as he gathered up some papers from the lessons, "now," he cleared his throat and pushed back on his chair away from the desk, "come here" Erwin gestured to the space between him and the desk. Puzzled you slowly stood up, face going hot again as you saw him eye you from head to toe then back up again. 
"Should I take the chair?" You asked nervously, he shook his head no and you slowly walked around the solid wooden desk, standing awkwardly in front of him you couldn't find the strength to look at his face. 
"On your knees" a gruff whisper that you weren't sure actually escaped him or if your mind was playing twisted tricks on you. 
"Pardon?" You looked at him, his bottom lip between his teeth as he sat back in his desk chair. Erwin's eyes were still slowly tracing your body, one hand resting on his strong thigh while the other was gently touching the growing tent in his slacks. 
"Get down on your knees" he said louder this time, eyes meeting yours. Your head spun for a moment, either you were having the most vivid amazing dream of your life or you had died and gone to heaven. There was no way any of it was real. After a few blinks you obeyed, sitting back on your heels and looking up at him with rosy cheeks. 
"Like this?" You felt the words leave your lips but you weren't sure any sound actually came out. 
"Very good" he cooed, you watched in awe as he undid his belt then pants. The fabric was fighting tooth and nail to keep his erection contained, it relaxed as he freed himself. Big. That's all you could think as you watched him slowly stroke his cock. He cleared his throat before scooting his chair closer to you, "you're going to use your mouth, go nice and slow and listen to me okay?" His words were like honey, cock standing proud a few inches from your face. 
"Yes sir" you mumbled before sitting up a bit, getting a better angle to try to fit the monster in your mouth. A pleased sigh passed through his lips as your mouth enveloped the head of his cock. 
"Good girl," he purred, one his large hands tangled in your hair. He gently patted your head as you began sucking in as much of him as you could, remembering to move slowly as he asked. A few quiet breaths before he began speaking, "now let's go over the Renaissance" you continued slowly sucking on his cock, one hand keeping your balance on his knee while the other pumped the bottom half of his cock. 
Erwin sat still, keeping his reactions to you at a minimum as he spoke. He reassured you every now and then that you were doing a great job, he'd comb his fingers through your hair as he spoke. You still weren't sure this was actually happening. 
"You got the section on humanism incorrect as well" he used his free hand to look over your quiz, "do you remember when we went over classical antiquity?" He looked down at you, your eyes met and he shivered. You felt his cock twitch against your tongue, you nodded yes as you continued sucking and looking up into his eyes. Blue completely gone now. He let out a small sigh and hung his head back, enjoying your mouth for a moment before continuing his lesson. 
The heat between your thighs was becoming unbearable. You found using the heel of your shoe to rub yourself on was good enough for the moment, but god did you want to put what was in your mouth down there instead. You listened to him speak, his voice sounded so sexy and rough as he went on with his lesson. Every few words his breath was a little shaky, but he still wasn't reacting much. You wondered if he would at all, if he'd let you hear him moan in ecstasy or if he'd be just as serious looking when he finally finished. 
"The goal of the Italian Renaissance humanists of the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries was the study of the humanities, is the main take away from that section" he said lowly, his hand in your hair moved down until the palm was at the base of your skull, "you've done so well, but I want you take in more" he pushed your head down, forcing more of his length into your mouth. You gagged as the tip entered your throat, "good girl, just like that" he purred. 
He kept pushing you down lower for a few more minutes, releasing you to let you breathe. You caught your breath and looked up at him, his hand slowly stroking his dick wet with your spit. You quickly took over, lips back around his girth as he hummed happily. 
"You're such an excellent student" he held your head with both hands, "this is the first quiz you haven't passed" he thrust into your mouth, forcing his entire length into your throat making you choke, "just relax, there you go" he grunted as he fucked into your mouth before letting go and letting you take control again, "you can go a little faster, I'm almost done here" Erwin returned his attention to your quiz as tears streamed down your cheeks, throat burning a bit as you swallowed excess spit. 
Swallowing around his cock made him moan unexpectedly, his hand over his mouth like he hadn't meant to only made it sexier. You wanted to make him moan more, desperate to make him unravel. The thought this could end with you bent over his desk and fully stuffed with his cock had you rocking your hips against your heel even harder. 
"You did well on the art section, so I'll skip that one" his breathing was getting more erratic, but he was holding onto that neutral tone still, "let's go over the technology section now." 
You continued bobbing on his cock, taking him until your throat couldn't handle it anymore before popping off the tip. With how much your mouth was watering for him, his cock was dripping with your spit. It was rolling down his shaft and over your hands, a small puddle forming on his boxers covering his balls. God his balls, you wanted to take his pants completely off so you could them. They were big too, you could tell through his underwear. 
"Sir?" You interrupted him, breathing heavy as you looked up at him through wet lashes. He chewed his bottom lip and looked down at you, hand still stroking his cock as you figured out how to say your thoughts aloud. 
"I want to suck on your balls too" you whispered, struggling to maintain eye contact but knew you wanted to see his reaction to your words. For good reason too, the question certainly riled him up. His eyes went wide for a moment, a smile pulled the corners of his lips up as he mulled over a response. 
"Answer a few questions and I'll let you" Erwin exhaled, "what's an arquebus?" 
"It's a gun" you answered, hand still stroking his spit covered cock. 
"I need more than that for full points" he chuckled. 
"It's a musket that was first used by the ottoman empire in the fifteenth century" you said softly, eyes trained in his cock as you watched your hand move up his entire length then back down again. 
"Good girl" he smiled, "name another gun, this one from sixteenth century, and I'll let you suck my balls" Erwin purred. 
"Um," you thought for a moment while you watched his length in your palm, "the grenade musket?" You looked up at him unsure. 
"You're listening so well" he smiled wider, "here," he backed up his chair and stood up kicking off his shoes before fully removing his slacks and boxers. You watched as he folded them neatly and placed them on his desk, his erection drooling precum as he worked. You were right, his balls were large, they bounced against his thigh as he sat back down, "go one" he presented himself to you and you hungrily reveled in your earnings. 
Stroking his cock with one hand, you gripped his thigh for balance as you sucked one of his nuts into your mouth. Releasing it with a loud, wet pop before sucking on the other. Erwin gently played with your hair, watching his student diligently suck and lick at his tightening ball sack. 
"Just a bit more and then I'll have you answer a couple more questions" his voice was so deep and raspy, "if you get them all right I'll change your grade and I'll give you an extra reward for being such a good student for me today." 
Erwin finished the last of his lesson, face flushed and balls twitching for release in your hands. For a few moments he let out low groans as he watched you worshiping his cock, his large hands pushing your hair from your face so he could look into your eyes. 
"Good girl, just a little bit more then you have to swallow it all okay?" You nodded in understanding before dedicating yourself to making Erwin cum. Little moans and left his lips, his fingers raking through your hair trembled a bit as he got closer and closer to climax, "yes, just like that" he purred, voice rough and low, "such a good girl" he grunted, hands tightly gripping your hair in fists. He pushed you down as he thrusted up into your throat, thick bitter cum filling your mouth. You looked up at him with wet eyes, swallowing his large load as fast as you could before the excess could spill out. 
Erwin caught his breath, hands releasing your hair slowly. Strands that had broken in his tight grip clung to his skin as he leaned back, cock twitching between your lips. A few more spurts filled your mouth again before you finally removed it. Licking your lips you waited to find out what happens next, thrilled beyond belief at the wild sexy ideas rapidly churning in your mind. 
"Three questions, then your reward if you get them all correct" he smiled down at you, you nodded your head and waited with baited breath, "we'll just do vocabulary to make things easy, one: humanism." 
"A philosophy during the Renaissance that valued human thoughts and ideas. It led to the study of classical writings and art" you answered shakily, your heat desperate for whatever reward was in store for you. 
"Good, two: printing press" Erwin ran his fingers through his own hair, watching you look up at him needily. 
"A machine for reproducing written material with ink" your thighs trembled below you, you could feel the stick wetness in your panties squishing as you rubbed your legs together. 
"Three: indulgence" he chewed his lip, eyes fluttering closed as he waited for your answer. 
"A pardon that released someone from punishment for their sins" you whispered out the answer, awaiting the sinful reward you were bound to receive. 
"Very good" he stood up, cock half hard smacking against his thigh as he moved his chair, "remove your pants" he said over his shoulder as he pushed the chair against the wall. You did as requested, excited to feel him inside you, "elbows on the desk" he turned to face you as he finished unbuttoning his shirt, letting the cotton button up fall off his shoulders before he tugged off the white undershirt. You stood in awe of him for a moment, drinking in the sight of his beautifully chiseled body. 
You turned and pressed your elbows and palms on the desk, feeling a little nervous about his eyes on your exposed holes. You gasped as his large, warm hands gently ran down your ass then thighs. You heard him moving behind you, your eyes squeezed shut as you waited for him to do something. A surprised moan escaped you at the feeling of his tongue dragging over your slit, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as he began a steady pace for lapping at your soaked cunt.
"Fuck" you breathed out, face pressed against the desk as Erwin earnestly devoured your pussy. He didn't let up as you trembled, his face pushing hard against you as he held your legs open, "oh my god!" You gasped as he inserted a finger, pushing deep inside you as he kept licking and sucking at your folds. He moved his finger inside you steadily faster and faster pulling whines and moans from your lips. 
"You taste delicious" he purred, breath hot against your wet skin. He leaned back to watch his finger disappearing inside you before adding a second, making you moan even louder, "quiet down a bit" he chuckled, "the room isn't sound proof" he got back to eating you as you tried, and failed, to keep your voice down. A few more loud moans, muffled a bit by your hands, left you before your pussy began spasming around his fingers just on the edge of climax. He chuckled as he pulled out of you, standing up he pressed the head of his cock against your hole. 
"Please Professor Smith" you begged, wiggling your ass impatiently, his strong hand holding your hip as he slowly impaled you, "amazing!" You mewled as his girth stretched you, a low groan left him once he was fully buried in you. 
"Ready?" He murmured, leaning down to kiss the back of your neck. 
"Yes, please fuck me sir!" You whined and he quickly gave it to you. His hips slamming into you over and over, large balls slapping your clit pulling back strings your arousal each time they swayed away again. Erwin held your waist tightly, gruff moans in the back of your neck as he filled you with his cock. 
"I'd love to have some more extra study sessions with you in the future" he purred in your ear as he slowed his hips, feeling your pussy trembling from your first orgasm, "I think it would really benefit you to have more one on one tutoring from me" he slammed in hard and stayed put, "right baby girl?" He kissed down the back of your neck as you whimpered out yes a few times. 
Large, hot hands feathered up your stomach under your shirt until he reached your breasts. His mouth still connected to your nape as he kneaded the supple flesh, his hips began slowly moving again. He thrusted slowly, fully to the hilt before pulling almost completely out again. He kept the slow pace for a few minutes as he murmured about how amazing it felt to be inside you. Erwin pulled you up with him as stood up a bit, hands still on your breasts as he fucked up into you. 
"Take your shirt off and sit on my desk" he breathed out as he released you. Head fuzzy and legs barely able to hold you up you did as he said, sitting completely bare on his desk Erwin smiled lazily and looked you up and down before standing between your thighs. He pulled your ass to the edge until your pussy hit his cock, "ready?" He smiled, inserting himself before you could even finish saying yes. You wrapped your legs around his hips as he fucked you, your hands holding his biceps as his hands wandered your exposed skin. 
"So good, so good!" You whined out, hanging your head back as the second orgasm washed over you. Erwin leaned down to kiss your throat, nipping gently at the skin as his hips slowed down again. He pushed you onto your back, hands squeezing your breasts as he watched his cock push into you. 
"I'm close" he whispered, grabbing your legs by the backs of your knees. Erwin pressed your knees to your chest, fucking as deep into you as he possibly could. Moving slowly to feel every inch of your insides as he could as you moaned and whimpered below him, body overheating and mind completely fucked dumb. A few more thrusts and he pushed all the way in, his cock twitching for release as he forced himself not to cum. Slowly he dragged out of you before exploding white ropes on your stomach and chest. 
Erwin let go of your legs and opened one of his drawers on the desk, pulling out a tissue box he attempted to clean you off. His hands shaking and eyes struggling to focus, tissues too weak to soak up the mess he'd made. 
"I'm sorry, just give me a moment" he mumbled, cock still drooling cum on his leg as he tried to focus. Instead he dropped to his knees and began eating you out again, overstimulation making it impossible to hold back your moaning. He licked up your slit then over your stomach, eating his seed off your skin as he slowly rose to his feet again. He murmured apologies as he licked you all over, getting distracted from the task of getting his cum off you to suck on your nipples. 
"Please, professor" you whined, head hung back as he fingered you and sucked on your breasts, "it's too much, I can't handle any more" you whimpered, hands pawing at his muscular back. 
"Just a little more" he smiled against your skin, "I'm getting hard again, do you think you can hold out for a little long?" You looked up at him through hazy eyes, Erwin was disheveled in the sexiest way imaginable. The thought that this man was so desperate to get his cock back inside you enough to make your pussy pulse around his fingers. 
"I can take it" you watched his eyes fill with delight as he stood up. 
"Thank you" he purred, "you're the best student I've ever had" his breath hitched as he pushed his cock back inside your overused hole, his shape still fucked into you he slid in easily. You let your professor have his way with you for another round, this one much shorter than the last. He at least had you suck him as he finished, cumming in your mouth required less cleanup. The two of you spent and panting, sitting on the floor of his office he pulled you into his wide chest, planting sloppy kisses on your cheek. 
"Professor Smith?" You swallowed nervously, the reality of it all hitting you. 
"Call me Erwin" he purred back, kissing down your neck. 
"Now what?" You held back a whine in reaction to his lips on your skin.
"Well," he sat up straight and cleared his throat, "why don't we schedule your extra study sessions for Fridays" he smiled, "you'll be a top student in no time." 
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heavendraven · 8 months
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do you think they explored each other's bodies
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that ask reminds me. been seeing a lot of “odysseus wasn’t a hero” takes lately. the absolute state of the classics.
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moderndaypandora · 1 year
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Got tagged by @notallsandmen for a WIP paragraph game, and I’m incredibly flattered, considering ... this doesn’t feel on the level of fic, this is fun little sketches of dialogue at most. But this is what I had, so here’s more of the mortal dreamling silliness (previous bits: modern day mortal dreamling and newlyweds with ravens)
How Hob asked Johanna to be his witness for his wedding:
He texted her asking if she was free that afternoon, because he needed her for something.  Historically "something" has meant anything from "taste-testing 3 different scone recipe variations to figure out the best one" to "hustling drunk pricks at darts". Likewise, Hob has done her favors ranging from picking up tampons to providing an alibi. In theory there is a ledger of favors owed, but in reality there will never be a balancing of books (because they're best friends, even if Johanna is too prickly to admit it and Hob is too smart to).
Johanna texted back "yeah, what's up?", and practically broke a land speed record pressing "Call" when she got the response.
Johanna: what the fuck kind of text exchange is confirming I'm around and then sending "getting married today, hello, witness!" and a selfie of you and some goth twink?
Hob: it felt pretty self-explanatory
Johanna: last I'd checked, you weren't even seeing anybody!
Hob: things change?
Johanna: I got dinner with you 5 weeks ago, you bastard, and you were single then.
Hob: ... things change fast?
Johanna: how the fuck did you even meet him?
Hob: I was running back from class during that awful rainstorm last month, and he was just outside my tube station.
Johanna: Hob.
Hob: His umbrella'd broken and he was soaking wet, and he looked absolutely miserable, poor darling.
Johanna: ...
Hob: So I offered him towels and dry clothes, since my flat was just up the road. And by the time the rain stopped I knew I wanted to marry him, and he said yes.
Johanna: what lunatic just follows strange men home?
Hob: he was pretty suspicious until I gave him my phone so he could text my address to his sister.
Johanna: and she was somehow fine with it, like 'yeah, go on'?

Hob:
Hob: he got a bit distracted by my phone background and never actually texted her.
Johanna: the fuck
Hob: you know Julian of Norwich is gorgeous
Johanna: your cat is a lesser demon escaped from hell. I'm going to exorcise your cat someday
Hob: Jules is a sweetheart. She doesn't even hunt birds!
Johanna: That thing won't kill any of the bloody birds in your neighborhood because she's saving all her energy to someday murder me and you know it.
Hob: ... undeserved paranoia about my extremely photogenic cat aside --
Johanna: WELL-deserved!
Hob: --will you be my witness?
Johanna: Left it a bit late, if you're asking me today. Did everybody else say no?
Hob: Didn't ask anybody else. Been planning to ask you since Dream said yes, but I figured if I gave you too much notice you'd flee the country.
Johanna: [tearing up, because even if you're an independent badass, it's nice to hear you're somebody's person] you're fucking right I would.
(Johanna's custom ringtone on Hob's phone is from Sweeney Todd, the final verse in Johanna where you can hear the body drop ("Wake up, Johanna, another bright red day"), because Hob and Johanna are black-hearted bastards/absolutely in cahoots with each other and think it’s funny. Hob's ringtone is Being Alive from Company ("Somebody need me too much...").  Sondheim all the way, motherfuckers)
#dreamling#hob is a medievalist and he would name his cat after an anchoress#i don't make the rules except when i do#johanna: wtf do i even wear to be a witness#hob: idk nothing obviously bloody or stained?#johanna: mm. what are you wearing?#hob: khakis and a button up#johanna: not the high-waisted ones right?#hob: there is nothing wrong with them#johanna: you're going to look like the slutty professor wannabe you are#johanna: and i bet you're going to roll your sleeves up#hob mid-sleeve roll: can't i look nice for my future husband?#johanna: yeah nice. not Mr April from an Academia Gone Wild calendar#hob: ... how am i supposed to take that#johanna: as a suggestion to look like a respectable spousal candidate#hob: we got engaged on less than 24 hours' acquaintance#hob: there is no chance of respectability#johanna: jesus fucking christ#johanna: you're paying for all my drinks at the reception#hob: by reception do you mean at the pub afterwards#johanna: clearly you prick. and it's going to be decent liquor. none of that bottom shelf swill#hob: we are celebrating my marriage afterall#johanna: [groaning] text me the address and don't give me any shit when i show up with a flask#johanna: you absolute bastard#hob: <3#dream is 'sir not appearing in this sketch' because he had to go back to his flat and get his own appropriate clothing#and also provide proof of life and zero mental impairment to death#because she was still hoping it was a joke/she could talk him around to waiting longer
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 months
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every now and then i remember the time a few years ago, when sdmi fandom first had its revival thanks to netflix, when a wildly popular sdmi blog run by an anti said the words 'perfectly good Black woman' in reference to why you should ship [man you could easily read as white, whose arc she was fridged for] with her instead of [hatesink character whose race is ambiguous due to being a furry, but has a BLISTERINGLY antiblack narrative under a thin layer of fantasy racism, with a fun side of homophobia and holocaust denial the latter of which is directly invoked in the post], which got hundreds of notes, and i grimace my face through the back of my head all over again lmao
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I feel like the worst thing they ever did to Xavier's character was putting a mild version of him on a pretty popular cartoon and then a movie where Patrick Stewart played him, cuz it made people think the man never goes full-on "the salvations begins and ends with me" pretty early on in his character biography. So when they go to the comics and he's like, a pretty complex character doing bad shit to good people with a straight face on the regular since the 80s, they go "what is this character assassination???"
Like yeah there's been stories where he was the kind voice of reason who could do no wrong, but damn man, that guy's been canonically a "in my house it's clean mutants only" kinda white savior ever since like... the Morlocks popped up. It's a cool exploration of activism from a place of privilege that shouldn't be stifled by people being used to Captain Picard being above those things. That's an adaptation cleaning up messy aspects of the source material, but the source engages with that shit for a reason.
The guy just does what's on his mind as "the kindest thing to do" so often without caring what it does to others that the X-Men didn't even notice he had been replaced by Cassandra as he was monumentally altering their lifestyles by bringing the entire X-Mansion out of the closet on national television without a heads-up or accounting for their opinions, cuz at the end of the day, that's still something he'd do to them, without really minding what it does to their lives. Because in his head, it *is* his X-Men. He means it when he calls them.
People praise Magneto's 40-year-strong character arc from genocidal maniac to symbol of hope on the same breath they basically go "hey I wish Xavier was nicer", yeah that's the point of the character! I wish he was nicer too! Don't implicitly trust your heroes just because you admire them! They're people and people are fucked! Adapt to them or they might take you down a bad path while their idealism turns cynical and their unrealistic dreams turn into realistic replacements for oppression!
It's just a bit frustrating to talk about X-Men as it comes back into the limelight and having people go "I wish the messy character with complicated opinions and too-real politics was simpler like when I was younger." Like... yeah, I get it, but you can't talk about the traps of white people putting themselves above visible minorities as the example to be followed like that. You can't talk about people being thrown in and out of conflict due to imperfect leaders who they slowly stop agreeing with like that. You can't talk about how starting a movement shouldn't elevate you to godhead status like that.
Morrison knew about it and left us clues in their works, I guess is what I'm saying. Even if that story pretty much ruins Magneto, it does bring this side of Xavier to light pretty well. The adaptations making Xavier a perfect activist and a fair and reasonable leader who's always right and only loses when he's tricked doesn't quite have that PROFESSOR XAVIER IS A JERK energy that I find vital to the character.
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X-Men #138
Chris Claremont/John Byrne
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