#and i'm getting nothing but rejections

[youvebeenlivingfictionalreplies]

.

#personal post #will delete later #whining here because i have no monwy for therapy right now #i'm just feeling so stressed and so tired and so worthless and stupid #like what was the point of sinking myself into literally 100K worth of student debt for this masters if i can't even get a job in the field #like this was supposed to turn shit around for me #and i can't even get entry level positions #like what do i need to fix. what am i doing wrong #i've been applying for two months #before i even finished school #and i'm getting nothing but rejections #i feel so trapped #and i feel dumb for working my ass off in school because it has gotten me nowhere #i just feel like i can't take a breath #like i can't be happy about graduation because i can't find a fucking job #it just feels like the last two years were for nothing #and i don't know what to do #i could be a good if someone just let me get my foot in the door and just gave me a fucking chance #i'm just asking for a chance and i can't get that

[pockywitchdraws]

A PAIR OF NORMAL SIBLINGS WITH THEIR LEGS ATTACHED TO THEIR BODIES :DD

a quick sketch because I am coping so hard

#nothing could prepare me for #csm 156 #so i'm just living in denial for now #reject canon stay delulu xxxxx #get denji into a low stakes shojo where he can be chainsaw man in peace pleassseeeeee #chainsaw man #csm #chainsaw man part 2 #asa mitaka #chainsaw man fanart #chainsaw man manga #chainsawman spoilers

[meirimerens]

bruh the creep i had to romantically reject three times (four if you count her "lovesick ramblings" [direct quote]) in the span of not even a year and who called me a "jerk" and "insecure" for not wanting to long-distance e-date her unwarranted-evadaniil-porn-sending ass followed me after a year of no contact on the instagram i don't update, haven't posted on in a year, don't share any followers/following with her on, & that i only mentioned on this blog Once over 2 years ago. on Valentine's Day Eve out of all days. what in the maidenless behavior is this.

#i know for a fact you're not ~organically~ finding & following ~random~ french artists who post horses under 70 followers sister. #wanted to keep your eye on me on the account you thought i'd be the least likely to notice you on? #too much of an insecure jerk [for rejecting you] that you won't follow me on the myriad of accounts you know i'm active on & pretend like #nothing's happened; but nicey enough that you'll follow one where you think i'd be least likely to see you? #i know you combed my blog for multiple-years-old pictures of my face before; did you do it for this account's @ as well? #well if you're still on that creepy creeper grind maybe you'll see this message as well! learn to lurk better & maybe you won't get blocked #ps: maybe don't have your discord name + pfp be the same as your instagram's if you don't want me to immediately know who you are. #& if you wanted to rekindle; well; grow a pair & don't creep on the one acc i never mention. you won't find pictures of my face on it btw #neigh (blabbers) #stay_away_from_[ME]_get_a_job.png #incel & coquette Pick A Struggle girl. do not hmu ever again you creep.

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level #for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda #changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is #don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men #his transness wouldnt change that #only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically. #Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band #is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name; #over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had #he becomes more caring more supportive #it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind #and learns how to be a kinder man. #all of which have no contradictions with him being trans! #In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences #i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways #to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring. #Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL. #at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it #so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine #i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt #but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues #and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does #again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol #AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans #do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model #I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA

[fangirlfortress]

Every second remain alive I become more and more convinced that you only way someone could ever stand a chance of successfully romancing me would be to pretend they have zero romantic feelings for me (or even better, genuinely only think of me platonically) and be my close friend for a minimum of two years, and THEN broach the subject of them liking me. Because that's the only way my brain will ever even consider putting this person into the category of romantic partner/possibility.

#I feel like any time someone approaches me with romantic intentions - even respectful ones #It doesn't matter how much time or how many intimate conversations we have #I will never be fully comfortable with them #My brain rejects them #I'm repelled by the thought of going out with someone I don't know #And if they did approach me that way and I was like let's be friends for a while see how that goes #Even if nothing happened and it was never brought up my brain would just always be like “this person wants to be with you” #“They want to date you or maybe even fuck you” #And that would just sour the friendship for me #I would never be able to get comfortable and that does not a friendship make #Which rules out the possibility of any FUTURE romantic interest bc I'll never feel close enough to be interested #Does that make sense? #I've only ever been in one relationship and I hated it #Asexual? I think? #Maybe even aromantic shit #Demiromantic? Is that a thing? Gotta be #Asexual #asexuality #demiromantic #Demisexual #aroace #aromantic #aromantism

[my-current-obsession]

Does anyone know if in P3 Reload ALL the girls have a completely platonic path where they don't confess and/or ask how you feel about them?

I managed to get Chihiro and Aigis platonic, intentionally romanced Yukari, think I know where I screwed up with Fuuka (who I've heard can be platonic), have NO idea where I screwed up with Yuko since I tried NOT to flirt with her, and wasn't able to get Mitsuru to rank 9 before it was too late, so I don't know about her at all.

I ASSUME that all girls have a platonic option - I honestly figured that if anyone didn't, it would be Yukari and Aigis, but since Aigis does that would JUST be Yukari as a must romance/reject, which is maybe more "canonizing" than the devs want for any one girl.

#persona #p3 #persona 3 reload #i personally am of the opinion that yukari IS canon but i don't know if the devs want to commit to that and cause a ship war #that said i honestly have no idea HOW her rank 9 would play out in a platonic path since it was literally JUST her confession #every other rank 9 i've see had SOME other important discussion. yukari's was 100% about the romance and nothing else #i was honestly blindsided by yuko. i was pretty confident i'd get the platonic path and then that... didn't happen. #thankfully her rejection reaction was SO SMOOTH. she took it so well you'd think she wasn't into me at all! #by contrast i literally couldn't bring myself to be a total dense idiot and friendzone fuuka. #if only her confession/rejection was handled differently i might have been able to do it. but i just felt like such a tool i HAD to date he #(and i do really like her. but i feel like canonically MC would only date one girl now that that's an option. and yukari feels most right) #it was like rise in p4 all over again. it's not that i don't like you but GOD the way the romance is started bothers me #because it just feels like i'm guilted into it because the rejection option is so awful

[murderballadeer]

my friend said to give the guy a note with my number & like "call me :)" or "study date?" or something written on it so i'm gonna give it a shot bc nothing to lose atp but also i'm kinda worried that my friend thinks too highly of me & is basing his advice on that bc he kept saying like "unless he's now dating someone else you'll definitely succeed" and it's like respectfully how could you possibly know that

#soapbox #like god love him he kept saying like 'if i could i can get a girlfriend you should be fine' which like #either he thinks very poorly of himself or much too highly of me #like i've met his girlfriend she's rly sweet and it makes perfect sense that they're together lol like i'm not surprised he pulled her #meanwhile yeah i'm nice and i'm kinda cute on a good day but i'm nothing special either yk so i think i'm gonna be rejected

[umberandmochaagate]

When you're tryna be reasonable about getting all rejections except for one place when a lot of your groups got more but wise mind feeling like a struggle rn

#venting #nah bro my top site rejected me and I straight boohoo cried #cuz it was the last one. over 15 rejections for a month #and then tryna hold yourself up and ppl trying to hold you up but also I'm lying if I said that doesn't hurt #this shit was traumatic fr #I got so much anxiety cuz I got an email that a friend asked me why I was breathing hard #didn't even notice it jumped like that #I got one chance #and either I get this place or I gotta do the process again #you get constant rejections and then have to put your dog down #and still have to go to work and teach and help and try to make time for yourself #and your life is still in the hands of people who feel nothing at the end of the day #cuz they're so far removed from you and your position #literally couldn't cry for a month until yesterday #my chest hurts with just how much this has been sitting on me #fuck bro and I still have to wait more time to even figure out what's next #bro I just want this to be over #how tf do you want stable psychologists when you're traumatizing them the entire time

[serkonans]

my darling little quip about not being able to file my taxes was real actually lmfao.

#i filed w the irs's fillable forms a while back and just did my federal #and i can't log in to any state forms sites for unknown reasons #i tried to file through turbo tax but then they submitted my federal a second time #so it got rejected bc it looks like i double filed and i waited an hour to talk to a representative and she was like #yeah there's no way to file just your state taxes. you have to print them and mail them and you can't until they reject again #bc i tried to deselect the federal one and it went through anyway #and i can't e-file an extension request because nothing is letting me gksjklfsj #which it looks like i'm getting a return so it doesn't Really matter but like. hello. hello. hello #i can't wait to move states i actually have come to sort of hate this little place <3 #and this is not helping slkfjlsjgklsjg #oisin.txt #oisin.n

[firewoodfigs]

#poetry #once again another one bites the dust :^) plucking this from the rejection pile #I remember writing this because I was so MAD with mainstream media's portrayal of asian women as the 'other woman' viciously breaking up #relationships because (a) she doesn't know better (b) she knows better and she's a scheming conniving bitch #who tears up relationships for all kinds of reasons #predominantly to get a leg up in society or dig gold or WHATEVER #honestly sickening and it does nothing to help the fetishization of asian women #yes yellow fever I'm looking at you #ffs why are we always reduced to some second-rate love interest and then celebrated for being another #tokenistic homage to diversity!!!!!!! makes me so mad

[barxlupin]

Not in the best of moods so I probably won't be around much for the next few days...

#☆ ooc ☆ #(( spent an entire week between anxiety attacks and wanting to dissociate )) #(( all for nothing )) #(( why am i even bothering at this point )) #(( the answer was gonna be no anyway )) #(( ignore me i just got rejected for yet another job )) #(( and i really wanted this one )) #(( i seemed to have all the right qualifications )) #(( but nope )) #(( i'm never gonna get a job at this point )) #(( i honestly feel like crap )) #vent tw #to be deleted

[loregoddess]

*lies on ground* I have written the first drafts of my essay responses, so now I just need to reread them and make edits so I can quickly and easily submit them w/ the residency application

#I haven't written anything like this since uh... #since I think I was trying to appeal my thesis topic which got rejected the first time I tried to submit it #which was back in like...2019 or something #I mean sure I also wrote the thesis paper which was HELLA academic writing but at least that was like #very directed on a singular topic and also the only thing I had to think about for like 6 months straight #I'm still scared as hell but nothing gets me to act despite my anxiety about something quite like a deadline #god I have to think about how to word my ''please write me a letter of rec'' to my old professors who haven't heard from me in literal year #but that's for future me present me has to figure out how I'm gonna get to sleep tonight on IBS Pains Night no.2! #the good thing is this will all be over by Wednesday before I have to go to work but god I hate being all wound up like this #oracle of lore

[persistent-wallflower]

Dude I'm so bad at this dating stuff. It just never feels right

#well first of all as a queer and kid and teenager I never got a chance to learn how these relationships work but that's most of us #but I'm anxious that I'd be terrible at that bc I do everything alone #so I don't even know what ppl like do and stuff #and dates are so stressful and they aren't to so many people but for me they are #and I'm so picky cause it's hard for me to get over some things and it's not like I can afford to be picky in this economy #although that's not always a bad thing. boundaries and consent girls #but I'm so idle and if someone doesn't initiate something i instantly think that ok they're not interested let's move on #but I never initiate anything myself cause I feel like I'm pushy and I hate feeling pushy and I hate rejection but then #then just nothing happens and I don't know how to do that stuff anyway and #I don't like feeling like someone is sorta expecting sex because I'm often not in the mood for the thing and I don't wanna explain that #and people are just meeting and dating other people and it's so natural to them #and I can't wrap my head around it #cause sometimes I feel I have nothing to offer and the only reason guys would be interested in me would be cuz they wanna fuck someone? idk #personal rant but it's frustrating to me ig #byee

[mintaka-iii]

My mental health can't possibly good if an essay on the found family trope gives me such an indescribable feeling of hollowness and yearning

#Generally I know things are bad when some media is unbearable to consume #It's weird because I'm not overtly anxious and I'm less depression paralyzed than a few months ago #But I'm so terrified and hopeless about grad school applications that it's affecting my whole psyche #Even though it's not even a problem in my current life #It's just unbearable to think about or work on and it has been for like two years #Which means it's kinda hard to make any kind of meaningful change that would make me LESS terrified and hopeless #So I don't FEEL anxious or ACT anxious but I'm scared to death and compartmentalizing it #Also I've been in this town where I know none of my friends for more than a year now and also it's so small and I'm so fucking lonely #I don't FEEL lonely like it's not acute and I'm calling and texting people really frequently #But then I never realize I miss my sister until I see her again #And I didn't know how much I missed seeing all my friends irl until I did #Exactly twice in the past year #So there's clearly multiple things fucked up in my subconscious and they're affecting me but I can't directly get a handle on them #Also I want nothing more than to get an astrophysics PhD but it's SO much more competitive than physics #Cause the programs are so small #So do I apply to what I want and increase my chances of being rejected AGAIN #Or do I try and write essays about being interested in something I'm not really #No matter which program I get into I can probably do work in the other in actuality #But I feel like I can't apply to a physics program and exclusively talk about all the faculty I want to work with one department over #And most places don't let you apply to both

[trulyiamjusthangingout]

Sebastian Vael is such a profoundly lonely character

#like some of this is just the limitations of the DLC and I do get that but like #accepting the material as presented (tho acknowledging it's told through Varric's very biased POV) #Seb tries SO HARD to connect with the Kirkwall Crew #(with the exception of Anders who he's still shockingly polite to all things considered) #yet his attempts at reaching out for friendship are either outright rejected (Aveline...VARRIC especially) #or at best politely accepted without much depth in return...Like he can be a friendly acquaintance to them but not a truly close friend #(his relationships with Merrill and Fenris for example) #and again it is not for lack of trying on his part! man is using all of the tools he has to connect with these ppl! #and he himself clearly cares about them!! #just something about this guy who was outright rejected by his family for being too much #too hedonistic too emotional too impulsive #and sent away from the only home he's ever known to a city where he knows truly no one #and has to cut off as much of his former personality/behavior as possible to try #and earn redemption/righteousness be what his family wants #the way he has to constantly earn Elthina's approval but it never stays nothing he does is ever truly good enough #and how other than her and Hawke (presuming they actually take the time to get to know him which like..a lot of players don't) #he never truly knows anyone in Kirkwallhe's always a stranger in that city #i forget what my point was but I love Sebastian he makes me so fucking sad #yes I'm playing DA2 again it's fine i don't have a problem i can stop whenever i want mind your business lol #dragon age #sebastian vael #dragon age 2

[cylonbarnes]

now that i'm at The College I'm Getting My Degree From i'm like ooooooh it's all real now! i'm actively working on a international literary journal and shit!

#it's the same university as last year but a campus on the exact opposite side of the state #and last year i published a literary magazine of student submissions. and now i'm reading poems submitted from writers across the world #and i get to go 'eh. didn't like the vibe' and like that's IT we're not publishing their poem that's how this is decided!!!!! oh my GOD #i mean oh my god like how terrifying and weighty for this to mean nothing to me other than i read a crappy poem but to them it's a big deal #we give them very nice rejections apparently. #anyway. so much pressure but also none at all. life is weird #i'm ALSO working on a new student lit mag here so like. writing is actually my life now. for the first time in my life. #almost all of my classes are about writing.... this is REAL #also my single assignment for the lit journal course (1 credit course) is just. #read a literary journal. find an author. email them to get them to submit to us.