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possibilistfanfiction · 1 year

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(1/2) Yeah absolutely, I get what you mean with Ava just being blissed out by Beatrice. I guess I phrased it wrong, not necessarily about directly comparing B to a bro, but it's more like, I wonder if Ava - in the same way that Beatrice is allowed to explore her identity - if Ava allows herself be introspective and examine her own attraction and ~types, so to speak. But maybe it's not needed?

(2/2) Like is Ava in the gog so on the other side of identity acceptance that she can just be ~present with B and isn't really hung up on a needing to further explore herself within the relationship? Like that natural freedom she has to her helps her make peace with concepts comes to her much faster and more naturally than B? (Also thank u for ur time u legend)

ok i'm not Entirely sure what this is getting at but just to clarify a few things that i think it's asking:

1 ava's experience of/with queerness is profoundly different than bea's. i don't think that ava's ever struggled with being queer any more than she's struggled with not having the access to experience everything she wants. for ava, desire is so integral to her ability to experience what life is ('i want to live') without systemic, more than any, limitations, & so it makes sense that queerness would just be a part of how to fully access pleasure & want & love & safety. (there's so much more in here about how if ava had been given care & access then being disabled wouldn't have taken away any huge degree of pleasure from her life, but that's for another day! whew.) bea's experience with queerness is one of fear, of it being 'a flaw,' one that made her feel not valued, not worthy. so even just within their characters, i don't think that ava's exploration of queerness is internal so much as it is just... getting to feel the things that come along with love, especially queer love. bea's is allowing herself to be who she is, in whatever way that may be or look at the time. also, ava is white, & bea is Asian, & there's cultural & systemic harms that come along with intersections of identity (including ava's disability too, of course). so i think ava's queerness is an external exploration, in a way, & bea's is just like. letting herself feel anything at all, & then working for that to be positive.

2 listen... ava isn't on love island lmao.

she liked JC, maybe even loved him in a way, & then Fell IN LOVE with bea. even if she did have 'types' (which is like... beyond a little laugh, kind of weird in most cases), i really just do not fuck with the idea that masc of center women, especially butches & dykes, are in the same category as cis men. butches & dykes are like... god tier (so are femmes, y'all know i love u!). but like, even if ava DID have types, bea with short hair & a good pair of pants isn't anywhere close to JC in any categorization?? maybe if ava was like hmm soft butches?? hot.... bea, tasha cloud.... awesome. but bea & a boy. no. i think ava's 'type' is just people who show her patience & kindness & are funny & smart. beyond that, she's just glad she's hot & they're hot

3 there are so many ways — infinite ways!!!! — to be butch! & they're all beautiful & they're all hard to come to! i think i write abt bea's queerness bc a) i love writing abt being butch bc i love being butch lol; b) being butch is abt private decisions you have to make, all the fucking time! how do u want ppl to read you as a woman/dfab person who isn't a trans man but like... doesn't feel like a CIS WOMAN? do u feel safe to be masc? what does androgyny & masculinity look like TO YOU? butchness for me is actually so fucking soft, & wonderful. i don't picture (or write) bea as a stone or hard butch; there's a comfortable breath of an in-between there: cottons & linens & soft hair & clean skin, a big bed, a little mascara, the very rare suit but not often, & only for events. it's on purpose, bc i think ppl often have a p reductive view of masculinity & butchness, & femininity & femmeness, & all the gentleness that exists in being a dyke kind of gets lost. it's just... not femme. there are so, so many ways to be soft butch especially. & those are all decisions that have to be made all the time. like it is constant &, while having a partner who is truly just along for the ride is helpful, my wife being supportive of me hasn't made those decisions on my behalf. i have to make them, every day, every time i get dressed, every time i put on a watch or shoes, even just to like... go to the store. it rly is smth u are constantly figuring out, even without like hyper-homophobic parents fucking you up as a kiddo. so yeah, i think, if ava wants to try anything w appearance, bea wouldn't care at all, she would be just as happy. but like... the essence of being a dyke isn't abt appearance so much as it is everything, & aesthetic is just a way to reflect who you are. & i know i've written this, very clearly lol, but bea's queerness (& ava's, & anyone's) has absolutely nothing to do with who they date, or marry, or love, or fuck. being queer is a politic, an expression, a way of existing. being a dyke is those things in spades, with a very, very special orientation toward liberation throughout history.

4 w my life partner, & my friends, all i care about is that they're happy. like legit. are ur material needs met? do you feel loved by me? -- if those are both good strong yeses, then like... we are good. i cannot imagine loving my partner less if she wanted to do literally anything aesthetically other than maybe like... a giant face tattoo or something lol. but exploring expression? i would never feel less than proud or brave. do i have favorite stuff? of course! do i think my friends sometimes make decisions that are not the cutest possible? of course! so do it! bc i want to! bc i want to try. & so yeah, i don't think ava would ever think less of bea, & i don't think bea would ever think less of ava. it's not like, a lack of care abt being physically attracted to someone, it's like... u love that person, & their body is gorgeous. ava's disabled, too, so u know there is profound care that bea shows & has to grow into as that changes & shifts too!

anyway i still don't know what this was rly asking lol but... butches/dykes should not be in the same category as cis men at all ever lol; ava & bea are just horny & in love. rules of thumb

#anyway.... read stone butch blues

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lesbiansanemi · 4 months

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the projection of your internalized transphobia is literally radiating off of you. leave trans men alone holy fuck we can't even speak about our oppression without someone who isn't even a transfem yelling about how we're taking the spotlight or something. while many transfems actually pitch in and are glad that we talk about things that never get talked about in the trans community bc yes it is mostly passing binary white trans women who get the spotlight 99% of the time lmao. like not only are u speaking over trans men ur also speaking over trans women who benefit from these conversations. idek why i'm writing this tbh im just holding onto some small hope that maybe you'll listen but i really hope you just grow out of this separation type mentality abt other trans ppl. no ONE type of trans person should get the 'spotlight' literally everyone's trauma and ways of talking about our oppression deserve attention equally bc erasure is not cool or sexy. im sorry that it seems like u have trauma or something from ppl who happened to be trans men (im guessing transmeds?? but those literally affect trans men too lol) but literally what makes you think that making an over generalization that all trans men are violent misogynists or something is not transphobic??? like ur not owning the evil trans men ur literally just vilely transphobic. like i genuinely hope you realize that someday or something. for the record this isn't supposed to be hate, i just wish you guys would see how terrible you treat trans men, like ur literally pointing out someone's marginalized identity on why u hate them. idk man just... we are supposed to be allies not enemies. please just find it in yourself to see that. if you wouldn't make that overarching statement about other trans people/marginalized groups, then genuinely why is it okay to do to trans men? just think about that. have a good day.

1. You are putting words in my mouth I did not fucking say, and 2. You are ignoring the ones I did

I never said binary trans men couldn’t talk about the issues they face. I never once said that anywhere. I never once said I hated trans men. I never once said being a trans man made someone a “violent” misogynist

What I DID say was that the community of trans men had issues with misogyny (internalized or other) but that any time someone pointed that out, they were accused of being transphobic (exactly what you are doing right fucking now)

Criticizing a community for an issue within it is not “hating” them and it’s certainly not hateful or transphobic. You are the one reacting in such an extreme way to someone criticizing an aspect of your community. If I see misogyny (internal or otherwise) from trans women or genderfluid or non-binary ppl or or or I’m also going to point it out. I’m not “hating you” for your identity. I never said “hate” anywhere. You are blowing a valid criticism of your community way out of proportion to paint me as nothing but transphobic so you don’t have to consider your own biases

A lot of trans men ARE misogynistic (some internalized, some not). A lot of trans men ARE transmisogynistic. A lot of trans men (ESPECIALLY gay trans men) are lesbophobic

I’m saying this as a trans masc person who has tried interacting with your community and people in it a lot, and has dealt with these issues on multiple occasions in multiple ways

You are also proving my point that you don’t see afab nonbinary ppl as “””””really”””” trans in comparison to binary trans men from the way you’re talking to me. MY experiences don’t count, obviously. MY opinions on the trans community don’t matter because I’m not REALLY trans cuz I’m not a binary trans man and therefore basically cis, right? That’s what you’re implying, after all! I’m “talking over” the REAL trans people

As a trans masc person, saying “wow, this community has a lot of unchecked transmisogyny” is not speaking over transfems. Transfems have SAID this and pointed it out and you don’t fucking listen to them either

You’re right. We are supposed to be allies. But if we are to be, you need to accept that other marginalized subgroups within your community are sometimes going to point out that you have your own biases to examine, and when they do, maybe you should actually think about that and consider it rather than scream “YOU SAID SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT ME THEREFORE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A RAGING BIGOT WHO FUCKING HATES ME BECAUSE OF MY IDENTITY” You can’t just accuse everyone of transphobia if they say something you don’t fucking like

And I’m not even gonna touch the “cis passing white trans women get 99% of the spotlight.” Like wow. Not even trying to hide the transmisogyny there bud huh. That is such a generalized blanket statement that is not true in ANY capacity. Also very funny of you to go on and on and on about how “spotlights” don’t and shouldn’t matter when it comes to oppression and then say that. You are just… proving my point. You want a reason to get bitchy about trans women so bad you will literally make them up

Don’t come into my inbox, do exactly what I was saying the community had a problem with, make assumptions about my so called “trauma with trans men”, accuse me of being “vilely transphobic”, and then tell me to have a good day

As I said in my original post, gay trans men be fucking normal about women for once, and don’t accuse everyone of being transphobic when they point out misogyny in your fucking community

#asks #kaz rambles #long post

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lo-fi-charming · 2 years

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People who are part of a marginalized group that you aren't are allowed to criticize how you portray them. You're not a trans man. Being non binary doesn't give you some magical immunity to having latent transphobia toward trans men. Yeah trans men can like their chests and long hair and feminine clothes, but when you only ever portray them with all those things (plus mostly drawing cis women alongside them) you comes off as someone who just thinks trans men are women.

whats up it's ya boi just got woken up by my cat at 6 am for her breakfast and saw this so im tired and annoyed at you and typing this all out on my phone so i can immediately go back to sleep Anyway,

1) never said it gives me immunity, just that I wasn't cis anymore, and mentioned it to explain why i removed the disclaimers

2) you are making SO many assumptions about me based entirely on how i draw ONE character. just because i draw jon most often with long-ish hair and Sometimes wearing more feminine clothing does not mean i only ever draw all trans men like that. i draw martin as trans, too - no top-op, but he's also fat and tall, typically only in "masculine" clothing. i also draw sasha trans, do you have a problem w her as well? oh i guess not since she's short and femme and has big enough boobs that you can assume she's just cis, bc only cis girls look like that (though her being fat too is probably pushing it for you!)

(you know, i have lots of my own characters yall don't see on here; if i had to say, i probably have more trans girls than trans guys, and girls overall, bc im gay about ladies. but no you're right the art of one character you exclusively see on my sequestered fandom blog gives you a great idea of my tastes overall)

3) you insist that my inclusion of drawing a trans man alongside a cis women = i think they're the same thing which is just REALLY WEIRD like ??? do people get less trans by association now?? i simply don't understand this point. am i no longer allowed to draw both and i have to chose one? (assuming youre the same anon as the first), you've got this weird fixation on how a trans man's (jon's?) body is 'the same as a cis woman's) but YOU'RE the one saying if a man has boobs and a vagina then he is the exact same beast as a cis woman. maybe actually Think about that for longer than a second and accept the fact that those physical traits do not a woman make. some men just look like this.

i agree it is important for people - especially those who are not part of The Group - to be Mindful of how they portray that group, but that doesn't mean not making things with or about said group. i mean what are you trying to tell me to do, even? stop drawing trans men period? or i can draw them but Only if they have top surgery? only if they look like cis men? only with other trans men? all of this sucks.

like this isn't criticism. you keep trying to accuse me of dodging criticism of my Apparent Transphobia, but you're the one making stupid rules about it. not to mention wilfully ignoring all the other trans men (you claim to be sooooo concerned about) who DO like my stuff, because it speaks to them and their experiences. so like. get tf over yourself and don't send me more messages like this, ill just delete them

#echoecho #i didnt wanna sleep with this stupid message nagging me so here we are #anon this sounds like suuuuch a You problem okay #if you dont like my stuff just stop looking. unfollow block whatever you need #but youre being weird and gatekeepy so idk also maybe deal with that #before you start spreading more weird ideas around #trans men don't have to meet your personal prerequisites to be 'the right kind of trans guy' like wtf

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larktb-archive · 1 year

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I posted 5,850 times in 2022

1,919 posts created (33%)

3,931 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mettaworldpiece

@logicandreasonkilledtheboer

@colordesigns

I tagged 5,199 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#lillypad.txt - 1,986 posts

#q - 1,537 posts

#mutual aid - 786 posts

#donate - 668 posts

#misc tag - 389 posts

#ask away - 283 posts

#vid tag - 228 posts

#anons - 211 posts

#cringe comp - 200 posts

#psa - 117 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#naur like i get it genuinely it's a bad take and i don't wanna erase that it's fucking gross but... some of the reactions i've been seeing..

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sarah Z coming out on the side of dog fuckers, pedophiles and racist was def not what I was expecting but can I be surprised. She's a cis white woman they're usually all 3.

1,223 notes - Posted July 12, 2022

Do the transandrophobia people think that they're the only group of minority men who have specific differing experiences to their equivalent fem counterparts. Like it's really a self-centered ideology that reeks of white egoism - "You see my identity as a man leads to a different unique experience to my female counterparts which means I need my own specific label" as if that doesn't hold true for every group of men lol.

1,462 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

Roe vs Wade was actually overturned? What the God damn hell... so you people are telling me that under a democrat president with a majority senate and a majority in the house of representatives, 9 unelected officials can still just take away your rights based off of if they feel like it? Thanks for voting blue no matter who I guess!

1,876 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

Honestly the people who will allow this reactionary backslide to occur and the ones who are the most dangerous are those that couch their bigotry in progressive language. Far right reactionaries are easy to defeat. Punch them. But libs? Well the cobra enters the chicken coop with far more ease than the jackal.

2,392 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Also the department of education of South Africa has been drafting a plan to introduce unisex toilets and uniforms, the banning of deadnaming and the stopping of segregating boys from girls. This is like... insanely progressive and the fact that it's even being considered is like... fucking amazing when the USA and UK are currently backsliding into trans panic.

The reactionaries of South Africa have ofc took issue with this claiming that GBV and rape will increase (you know the usual bs) but like that's to be expected from white nationalists and Christian fundamentalists. Here's an article on it that isn't insane:

2,436 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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xxlovelynovaxx · 1 year

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I'm also going to talk about this:

"Why do systems need special terms for normal experiences" sounds a lot like my mom saying "why do you need to label yourself" about my queer identity.

One, because it helps me understand myself. But more importantly, because my experiences ARE fundamentally altered (hehe) by my plurality. Some of us are fragments and NOT full people. Some of us are symptom holders, trauma holders, or otherwise dealing with stuff compartmentalized to that headmate because that's how many forms of plurality work.

No, most of us AREN'T persecutors OR protectors. Many of us can't be that. Some were unintentionally in that role before our plurality became apparent. Those people have stepped down and been able to heal because they are not in that role. Others explicitly consented to keeping or taking up that role. I'm gonna come back to this.

"Because we still see ourselves as not normal" - Do you think being abnormal is bad? Do you? Do you think the terms neurodivergent and neurotypical are bad because they imply a norm and a divergence from it? Do you think it's untrue that systems have unique experiences from singlets?

Because if so, that's big "a trans person talking about how their experience of gender is different than the corresponding cis gender because of their transness is transphobia". Real "transmascs who use the lesbian label are misgendering themselves" energy. Truly "using queer implies you're odd so you can't reclaim it". Absolute "everyone's on the spectrum" vibes. Real "I don't see color" bullshit.

I don't feel the need to be normal because I'm not an assimilationist, actually. Acceptance doesn't come of making everything normal, acceptance comes of teaching everyone to respect when something diverges from typical experiences.

Also actually, it's fairly common to use labels for people that only sometimes have aspects of a role. Have you ever heard of a career? What about moods? Is someone not a "cheerful" person if they are sad sometimes? Not funny if 10 percent of their jokes flop? Singlets absolutely take on labels that describe things they sometimes embody.

Part of the reason there's not a one to one singlet label is because singlets have the same "fronter" all the time. If a persecutor behaves in that role even thirty percent of the time, and fronts ten percent of the time that they do, others only see the system behaving that way THREE percent of the time. As opposed to the singlet, who would be seen behaving that way... thirty percent of the time. Wow! Math!

Us using a role to describe ourselves is not us dehumanizing ourselves any more than using it/its pronouns is. We are people, who are ALSO our roles. Role kinda... implies that it is neither the whole person nor permanent. Actors who play roles, roles in a company/project... none of those are describing the whole of a person. Imagine saying "you can't call yourself a video editor, you're more than that". -_-

When it is a choice, that we consent to... you call it a "recipe for disaster" and "a self-fulfilling prophecy". Do you think that we can't CHOOSE whether or not we want to fulfill that role, and when we want to? Do you think we'll just go "oh well we're a persecutor guess we have to be shitty to others/ourselves"?

While any of us can sometimes lash out when triggered, we specifically have an agreement that the persecutor most able and willing to handle a situation will do so with the permission of the host and other affected sysmates. There are times we need someone who isn't afraid to be an ass to people that are hurting us - while using their best judgment about it, of course.

This is also a term that has helped those who had unintentionally stepped into the role process their own trauma and triggers. We had a few people get triggered by our partner at separate points in time.

When they recognized that they were behaving as persecutors, that 1. their actions would affect everyone 2. that when not triggered they would feel bad about us and our loved ones being hurt by them and 3. that when we recognized certain system members fronting while upset we might be triggered and need to use our coping mechanisms... it made a huge positive difference for us. We were able to negotiate that we would let them protect us when it WAS needed if they would trust us to call them when it was.

So, as for an example:

Demonia. She picked the name. She is a demon. She enjoys hurting people - she is a sadist by nature. She gets that in two ways - 1. by consensual kink play and 2. by dishing it right back out to neo///nazis, te///rfs, abusers, and the like - within limits, because she understands that her actions affect everyone in the system, and there are lines that many of us won't cross. (Most of those lines are actually the same for her, but there's a few minor ones she otherwise wouldn't care about.)

She also, while still figuring out her identity, seems to like certain -dere anime tropes, video games, and media with angels/demons in it (for the most part, she says). She is relatively laid back otherwise and has a great sense of humor. She's often one to cheer me up when I'm feeling down and need a pick me up. If you think I see her as just a persecutor - that's HER label that she's takes pride in. She is proud that she has sharp teeth to defend us with when it's needed.

She also would be free to step down from the role at any time - an idea that currently is distasteful to her, but she does know that it's her choice and wouldn't have it any other way.

Lastly, the fact that it's largely used by DID/disordered systems IS relevant. While I'll never gatekeep terms based on origin or disordered status, these terms specifically speak to a phenomenon that is MORE common for us, BECAUSE OF our trauma. The dissociative barriers we have compartmentalize us to a more significant degree than in healthy multiplicity.

For us, this is especially true, as recognizing that one of us was acting in that role due to trauma or similar, was the exact reason they were able to start addressing those issues, heal, and become more than that. Saying "hey, you've been acting as a persecutor, is that a role you want?" has lowered the dissociative barriers that HAD boxed them into that role.

Trauma can cause headmates to form differently. It can cause them to inadvertently take on roles. That's a HUGE part of why the role labels are important! To recognize when the brain split a headmate in response to harm we faced - whether a caregiver, protector, persecutor, or otherwise - and examine if the role that was given to them at the time is now healthy or fulfilling for them. It's similar to examining whether coping skills formed in response to trauma serve us anymore - except, this is a whole ass PERSON the brain made as a "coping skill".

⚔️: I was one of those former persecutors. Things were... really hard before we realized that's what was going on. I was really hurting and... and it was no one's fault, but... it was because of me having been shoved to the front to protect us so often without any of us realizing. That's part of us being disordered, y'know? Until we knew we had DID, we simply didn't have the knowledge or toolset or anything to KNOW that that was happening. Our dissociative disorder assigned me that role, but I was the one who got to decide not to keep it as soon as we realized that it had.

I've heard "you don't need to label yourself and pigeonhole yourself into a box" from queerphobes and ableists. I've heard "it's not 'normal' to call yourself [label] based on [traits]" from all manner of bigots. Obsession wirh normalcy itself is assimilationism at best and borders on fascism at worst. And saying the labels a person CHOOSES for themselves are "not normal" when equating abnormality to badness is not just offensive, it's cruel.

It would be one thing to say: we've seen people sometimes label their headmates persecutors without their consent/use a reductive or incorrect definition of persecutor/pigeonhole their headmates into that role. This can be hurtful, so please be careful if you are going to use this term.

✅ Respects the autonomy of the system using the term, allows for different feelings and views on the word, draws attention to not using it just as a label for "bad" headmates and reminds people to respect the wishes of their headmates.

It's another thing to say "this is not normal/we don't need a label for this because it's an experience singlets don't have/acknowledging or choosing a role is dehumanizing and ignoring the rest of their personhood".

❌ Projects one's own feelings about the word's usage onto every system, ignores how trauma especially in disordered plurality often causes roles to form inadvertently and how recognizing that is a step towards healthy multiplicity for many, conflates being normal with being good and being abnormal with being bad, ignores that systems DO have unique experiences that singlets don't have by virtue of being multiple, also misunderstand the fundamental difference between a role and an identity.

You can be a role and a person.

I actually think "don't turn temporary descriptors into absolutes" is a very good standalone point. You can label yourself as a role even when not actively in that role, but don't force yourself to fill it all the time and don't force yourself to stay in that role if you don't want to/need not to.

I think that one part is good. I just think the rest is utter garbage.

#this is a very triggering subject for us #there's a difference between 'be careful of how you use this label' and 'I mean you can ignore me but using this label is p much bad lol'#the way you view the word is not universal

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thenookienostradamus · 2 years

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Not-queer people CAN write queer characters

A fed-up rant by an old, angry, non-cis, non-het bitch.

Since apparently the usual horseshit about "cishet authors can't ever write queer characters" is making the rounds yet again, I offer those loudly declaiming thus only this advice:

Shut your entitled yap for a single fucking second.

And listen.

First off, you are not doing the written word some Noble Moral Service by attacking people who are not queer for writing queer characters—in fanfiction or otherwise. There are a number of reasons why this is so, and why you should step off your high horse accordingly.

Rant below the cut.

1. The queer character paradox. Most of the proponents of this approach (when it comes to queerness) trap cishet writers in what I call the "queer characters paradox." Which is to say: you encourage them to at least write queer supporting characters and advise them to talk to queer people to get a better understanding of perspective...and then you turn around and attack them for doing that exact thing, shrieking "we shouldn't have to educate you!" I realize that there are nuances to these interactions. If someone who isn't queer is coming at you with only stereotypes and preconceptions about queer folks and the intent to write a heartbreaking story about a closeted boy in the 1950s, you have every right to tell them to fuck off and do some basic research. But you're shooting yourself right in the foot by going off on a cishet author who says, "Gosh I would like to have my MC interact with a trans person or an ace person in this story."

2. Stop "othering" queerness. Do you know how queer people fall in love? How we deal with grief? How we fight, how we get tired, how we shop for fucking groceries? Literally just like straight people. Again, there are nuances, and in many places it is still more difficult to be queer than it is to be (or present as) cishet. The fact remains, whether you as a writer are queer or not, you should write queer characters as human beings. Because we are human beings. The claim that "only queer people should ever touch queer things!" casts us (yourself included, if you're queer) as fucking aliens or zoo animals—which is exactly what we're trying to avoid.

3. Don't assume all queer experiences are the same. I'm gonna guess the most vocal proponents of this idiocy are, maybe, 25 years old tops. I pause this rant to say that you are, I'm sure, wonderful and world-changing. But you don't know shit about the experiences of older queer people. Many of you don't live in a place or time where fear, secrecy, shame, and ostracism are a constant presence. Some of you do, and I acknowledge that. But I am begging you to speak to older members of the queer community before you decide you can speak for all of us. I didn't come out until I was 39. I didn't figure out gender until 41. Why? Good question! It wasn't because of overt oppression or attacks. It was because I simply wasn't aware way back when that it was "okay" and that other people feel this way. You will probably laugh, but I was pretty convinced because of heteronormativity that "straight girls" just occasionally have sex with hot women...I dunno, because that's what they do. (It's not.) And yeah, it seems really stupid now. But it wasn't stupid to people of my generation and earlier. Many of us didn't have the free flow of information and the built-in communities the internet provides.

So, without rambling further, do not presume to give people the old "write what you know" adage interpreted in the narrowest sense when you don't even know what you don't know.

#writing #queerness #queer characters #queer representation #lgbtq #cishet writers

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4ishipit · 3 years

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Part 3! Read part 1 here! And part 2 here!

Episode 5! This epiosde was so cute! Its so nice to see them all getting to know each other and having fun! And of course they can still mange to seek some trans coded Mome!

Ai's mother: "Oh, my! Aren't you Mr. Sawaki's...?

Momoe: "Momoe Sawaki. I'm his niece"

Ai's mother: "what a pretty young"

This literally asking pronouns introduction, which many trans people love! Ai's mother doesn't say "are you Mr. Sawaki's nephew/niece?", she instead lets Momoe introduce herself and state that she is his niece. And state that she is a girl, and Ai's mother says that she is a pretty girl, omg, you're the best! More trans coding and trans interactions!

"If you were a guy, I'd want to date you."

Omg Rika stop being so horny on main, go to horny jail *Bonk*. Any way, Momoe is still uncomfortable when Rika says that, its like a "ha, thanks" *dies inside* moment. She is happy for the compliment but still doesn't like being compared to a boy. Which as you can guess, is something trans women experience, or any trans person experience. Especially around cis people who know nothing, they try and remind the other person they aren't who they get mistaken for. Such as this line with Momoe, "if you were a guy", "if", and then be like "but you're not". Common pre-transition, trans experience? Definitely trans coding!

"Haruka was willing to see me as a girl."

Does this one really need spelling out? "See her as a girl", if she was cis, wouldn't people see her as a girl? Yes, she doesn't pass as a girl, cis or not, but people are way more accepting a cis women as a women than a trans women. Geez, even the t*rfs who watched this show saw Momoe as a girl, as they thought she was cis.

So very little people willing to see her as a girl, Haruka was, her mother kinda does. Her mother lets her have a girly bedroom and attend an all girls school, she also calls her "momo-chan" momo can be short for momoe or momotaro. "Chan" is used with family, small children, friends and sometimes women. But then why does she still wear masc clothing? maybe she is butch? doesn't have alot of fem clothing (which is true she has like, one dress). I think it could be her fathers influence? We haven't seen him on screen yet, it was only her and her mother eating at the table. We know he probably exists; Ai stated that she and rika are the only ones with single mothers. He could be more conservative? Maybe? And bargained with her that she she could be fem in private and attend an all girls school as long as she isn't fem in public or something? We also know that Mr. Sawaki probably accepts her as he is a School Councillor, and would be more open to sexualities and gender identities. Also when Ai's mother says to Mr. Sawaki that she met his niece, he doesn't say that she isn't a girl instead he just carries on the conversation. So much trans coding! Wow, I infered all that from one line? My English teachers would be proud!

We don't get much Momoe content in episode 6, as its mainly focusing on Ai's feelings for Mr. Sawaki. But the writer still give us a single sprinkle!

"They're super cute!" Both Momoe and Rika say this in union, just pointing our she still really likes cute and fem things and obviously wants more fem things. (Just like in the ending pic!) Boom trans coding!

In the next 3 epiosdes we don't get much, mainly beacuse in epiosde 7 they deal with Rikas trauma, the epiosde 8 was a recap and episode 9 focused on Neiru.

"Maybe I'm not cut out for female society"

This line is said by Neiru who is talking about how she doesn't fit into stereotypical female behaviour. She says she talks to logically, compared to other girls. I like how this is said to Momoe, another person who doesn't stereotypically fit into "female society" either it be beacuse she is GNC or is Trans. It works either way.

Then, even though the gang is together, we still don't get much time for them to explore/ hint at Momoe being trans, but they still kinda mange too!

"Yesterday, Rika and I got worked up talking about fun things to do."

Omg that is so cute! This isn't as trans coding as much as everything else, but it was still a cute way of saying Momoe finds it fun to do fem things. She even wants to go to school for it. I also love the idea that Rika, an idol, who is used to wearing make up and being overall fem, helping Momoe learn make up and stuff. That would be so cute! Or Momoe has practiced alot for what ever reason and teacher Rika, and Rika lets her beacuse she knows it makes Momoe happy. Omg!!!

Then that leaves us with the latest episode, I want to make a post all on its own, so I'll do that later. Bye for now!

#wonder egg priority #momoe sawaki

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turing-tested · 3 years

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I'm very hesitant (as a nonbinary person) about people who are "politically nonbinary" for a few reasons: first, it feels a little invalidating to suggest that nonbinary people are *less* oppressed than someone occupying a binary gender. Second, the idea of somebody choosing a different gender than they feel they are feels very wrong (I don't think you can use this against a specific person because you never know how they *really* feel, but it's still a valid critique of the concept) [1/2]

[2/2] The idea of claiming an oppressed identity that isn't yours also feels a little appropriative, almost. And also, I feel like this implies that the idea of gender is *inherently* flawed, which I don't think it is (to be clear, the gender binary absolutely is, as are gender roles, but like... obviously the concept of identifying as a man/woman is ok), and we should focus on healthy ideas of gender. btw I really appreciate you actually discussing this (and other trans issues)!

thank you!!! honestly i get this a lot and the points youre making and the thought that ur putting into this but i do want to posit a different point of view: many people, including myself and including cis people don’t perceive their gender as some deep down thing that’s intrinsic to their personhood. in the absence of this, i think its important to consider another way people interpret their gender; the space in society that they want to occupy and the lens thru which they interpret themselves. this is why i use very specific language about gender: the interpretation of yourself and the interpretation you would like others to have of you. two people can read the same story and get two meanings from it, and ultimately if someone goes “i dont interpret it this way” we cant MAKE them get a different meaning from it. some people may have two interpretations of it because of their different experiences and might prefer one over the other.

(also a big thing is that for many trans people the experience of ‘well i could cope with everyone seeing me as this gender i guess” is something very widespread before we realize we’re trans and ultimately i think that a crux of trans rights is the ability to be understood and your understanding of yourself to be respected. if someones understanding of themselves is “i dont want to be a woman/man, i dont want to be part of the binary;” thats actually something that an incredible amount of nonbinary people feel and express)

its not so much that gender is a choice but i do think theres an incredibly strong point to be made there about how ultimately i feel no, the gender binary is not compulsory and the idea of a deep down true gender does not apply to everyone. some people can and will feel “im opting out of this because its bullshit” and if they want to not be interpreted as a binary person what makes them actually binary and are we willing to start going “well you are actually a gender that you say you aren’t deep down” ? additionally, the way that current nonbinary politics are set up, i think that there’s some room there to discuss “well, nonbinary people are oppressed. why are they oppressed? because they identify as nonbinary.” and then from there ask “ok, so how is that different from someone identifying as politically nonbinary? does that singular distinction somehow mean they don’t face oppression? do transphobes or cis people care why someone identifies as nonbinary?”

if someones understanding of oppression is “you can just identify as x and get the oppression” or “you can just identify as y and get the privilege” their understanding needs just a little bit more nuance than “privilege and oppression are on off switches” and need to be more along the lines of “privilege and oppression are not distinct hierarchies based on on a points system” bc otherwise you get takes like “trans men have male privilege” or “trans women have male privilege” bc you’re only taking in a single facet of their experiences or identities into account

tldr: being trans/cis/nonbinary are not as distinctly neat categories as we like to think and we have to take into account these things as well as understanding that “actually just a woman pretending to be nonbinary to get thing” isnt the most accurate conversation about whats actually happening in these cases or how many people interpret their gender

#Anonymous #politicalpost nbpt #politicallypost nbbot

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nothorses · 3 years

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okay wait okay this isn't like, me being rude about your last post im just thinking about it now!! but like, im super not fond of the whole "egg" thing??? not when people use it on themselves (like, their past selves) but when people prescribe it to other people. specifically i keep seeing people trying to tell feminine/gnc men that they're "~actually~ eggs" and god it is fucking irritating to see. its mainly cis people but i DO see it from the trans+nb community (on all sides!!!) 1/2

and ig its just a trend i don't like!!!!!! that's not something you decide FOR someone. you don't get to tell a gnc man he's """actually""" an egg. like?? bad. let people be gnc!!! let men present fluid or feminine, let women present fluid or masculine!!!!!!! trans people AND cis people!!!!!!!!! anyways im just Thinking Thoughts and wanted to share with my favorite trans blog this is NOT critism on your or even the term at all 2/2

"My favorite trans blog” 🥺💙

I agree, tbh! I think it’s a really useful term to use for your own self, and to use retro-actively for people who already know they’re trans. With fictional characters, I think it’s fun & harmless, too. They’re not going to see it or be influenced by it.

But labeling actual, real-life people “eggs” without their consent is genuinely shitty, and really invasive.

It’s not for anyone to decide whether someone else is trans or not, and it falls in the same vein as like, contemplating someone’s “real” orientation... but arguably worse, because gender is a whole lot more of a person’s identity and reality than who they’re attracted to.

You could potentially out a trans person who is intentionally trying to stay in the closet by pointing our and picking apart all the things you believe “mean they’re trans”; and even if you don’t, you’ll almost definitely make them uncomfortable. Misgendering is still an uncomfortable experience for cis people, and what if the person in question is trans in a different way than you assume? Nonbinary folks exist. Intersex folks exist. Stealth trans folks exist. You could easily be misgendering any of them, too.

And... y’know, it’s just weird and invasive. I don’t want anyone picking at my presentation, identity, and gender trying to “figure out what I am”. I absolutely hate it when people try to assert themselves as authorities on my own internal workings, or claim they know more about me than I do. I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

Ever had people try to make guesses about who you might have a crush on? Imagine that weird, uncomfortable, panicky feeling- and then multiply it by Your Whole Life And Identity.

It’s gross for cis people to do, but it’s just as gross for trans people. Come up with “theories” about fictional characters if it’s something you really wanna do; leave actual people, with actual genders and actual feelings, out of it. You don’t know who you might be hurting, or how.

#trans #transgender #gender #transphobia #not horses #frankie-bean

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the-luckiest-guy-thanks-to-you · 3 years

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I'm doing the shady thing of screenshot bc they don't feel like engaging with anything but their own thought, and honestly I totally get where they're coming from but while in a way it makes a lot of sense, a lot of non-binary people aren't comfortable considering themselves trans even though they are thoroughly aware that the white line in the trans flag is for non-binary identities.

I also want to say that this isn't posted on a personal hang up of mine like the note says, but I literally live in a theme house that only has one or two cis people any given year, I have multiple years running a college GSA, done coming out day events, co-sponsored drag events, etc. I also more recently have been leaving more towards considering myself non-binary and trans than I have in the last year. I can name people by the dozens who are nonbinary but not comfortable with being called trans.

I also want to explain a bit about this now that that's out of the way. I'm not gonna go over their semi-ignorance of others experiences, but I want to bring up a better way of getting ideas like this across.

1) people can identify however they want to, you cannot assert an identity on them (including "if it's an adjective" if they don't like it)

2) instead of looking at it like "X people are trans" instead "trans people can be X" can be much better. Instead of being pedantic rather than listen to how people actually feel, it shows acceptance should they want to identify that way without putting them in a box

3) "but technically they do fit in the box!" I hear the ghost of someone in the comments shouting. And yeah, they might, but also there's agender people who don't feel like they "cross a gender boundary" and aren't comfortable, there's demi-gender people who don't fully relate to their gender but still identify as nonbinary, and other cases where sure, they could consider themselves trans, but that is up to them.

4) there's also hairy discussions of what gender is in a given context and how it changes and it's cultural and how masculinity and what it means to be a man or femininity and womanhood can be related to in totally different ways and how someone identifies may change with their culture and stuff. Gender is fake in the first place, so defining it as "not cis", while it in many ways makes a lot of sense, isn't actually a great definition in a practical real-life-and-interacting-with-people sense as much as a basic oh-this-is-a-basic-principle/rule-of-thumb-for-understanding sense.

Also like the way we talk about it will change over time(remember how we used to use the word transexual and now it's borderline a slur? Language isn't the same for everyone and it changes, there's countries that proudly use a rough translation of transvestite which is a big no no here in the states), the way different people define the word trans will change with who you ask, so locking it down like this is really limiting too

This is unnecessarily long but I just want to throw this out there in hopes for more critical engagement, and hopefully if someone disagrees, they'll do it in an actual conversational way

Also, I will say, in agreement with lobster's post: transmeds do not interact, we don't need bigotry and stuff here or elitism or any of that and those are terrible arguments and v bad

Also to the one person who called me out for using "nb" for non-binary despite it's other use as "non-black", I will try to be clearer in the future, but also I'm just guessing that that's what you're referring to because you didn't actually provide information to help so I just had to try to figure it out on my own and turns out, you really gotta dig for it. Nb means non-binary, nota bene, noodle boy, no bother, and "niu bi" which is Chinese, all more popularly than that it seems, and you really gotta purposely try to misread the post specially since it's meant non-binary since the 2000s but if I see a good alternative, I'll try to use it or be more clear in the future

Edit: for the linguistic side of things and changing of meaning I want to add another example that may get my point across better. Think of what it means to be trans 80 or so years ago, if you were trans, it mostly means you were in the binary, just on the opposite side than your sex. It didn't really include non-binary genders like it does today so the meaning has changed. My point is you can't stick to a hard and fast definition for the sake of "I am right and gender is organized by technicalities" because there's so much more to that and it limits how we talk about these things

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queer-sky · 4 years

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i found this on YouTube from Ashton Daniel so im gonna link their original video since its his tag but i thought it would be fun to do it as well

youtube

NONBINARY TAG

1. Let's do the basics - what's your gender and what're your pronouns? (tell me all your gender labels!!)

id say nonbinary and genderfluid fits best

and i mainly use they/them pronouns but at times im okay with he/him or she/her pronouns as well depending on how i feel on the gender spectrum i guess

2. Do you consider yourself to be under the trans umbrella, or is being nonbinary separate from that for you?

i personally feel that at least for myself nonbinary doesn't count as trans but im sure for others it does just i dont identify with the trans label

3. How do you feel about the label "enby"? Do you use it for yourself?

yes i do use it and i think it sounds lovely actually

4. What song is your gender?

am i a girl - poppy

5. Do you experience gender euphoria and if so, what causes it?

yea i do when i look/pass as androgynous or masc depending on how i feel that day/time

6. What's a question you're tired of being asked?

im actually not out to many people yet so there arent any yet but something thats annoying is telling someone i identity as nonbinary and they keep calling me girl

7. What outfits, accessories, presentations do you feel most yourself in? Is your style connected to your gender for you?

yes my style is connected to my gender so it fluids all the time really but baggy clothes and more masc jewelry does like chains and safety pin earrings and stuff like that or random objects as earrings like the other day i made small rubics cube earrings which i really like and also definitely wearing a beanie and having my hair in it (making it look short)

8. Have you identified with different genders, nonbinary or otherwise, in the past?

well ive identified with my birth gender before but im not sure if i actually did or if i just didnt really question my gender before cuz i knew im not a boy so i must be cis then idk

9. Are there gendered phrases or words you like/don't like? Dude, gal, man, sis, etc?

i don't really like gendered words in general id rather be refered to as genderneutral terms

10. What compliments best suit your gender? Handsome, beautiful, pretty, hot, stunning, etc?

i actually haven't thought about that yet but i think im fine with either ones? idkk

11. What's your favourite gender-neutral alternative to commonly gendered words? (e.g. sib instead of brother/sister, mx instead of miss/mr, enby instead of boy/girl, etc?)

just refer to me as a person like i dont feel the need to have a certain gender to be addressed as but yea genderneutral ones are good too like mx and enby and goddex or royalty instead of king/queen

12. Do you like the nonbinary pride flag for yourself? Do you prefer the trans flag, or a flag more specific to your gender?

yea i do like the nonbinary one

13. Are physical and/or medical transition important to you? If so or if not and you want to expand, do so!

no well not medical/surgical but i was thinking about getting a binder/sports bra and maybe something to make my hips not look so wide

14. Are there any nonbinary people you look up to? If so, who?

im not sure tbh but i have some nonbinary friends and i told one of them

15. How do you write "nonbinary"? one word, two words, with a dash?

i write it as nonbinary so one word

16. If you are/were to be someone's significant other, how would you want to be referred to? Boyfriend, girlfriend, theyfriend, partner, lover, etc?

probably partner or like their person but maybe if my gender leans more towards one side then id like to be referred as boyfriend or girlfriend but probably not really boyfriend cuz that term sounds toxic to me since most of my relationships with guys were toxic so i guess partner or girlfriend

17. Are you out in your day-to-day life, just online, just to close friends, etc?

just online i wanna figure it out first before i come out in rl and other then being called sky it wouldn't really change much since german doesn't have they/them pronouns

18. Are there any silly nonbinary stereotypes you embrace? e.g. pride flag stuff, coloured hair, liking plants, cats, whatever else?

yea i have piercings and dyed hair even tho its only split dye and a natural red but i wanna dye it purple or blue if im able to and i do have two pride flags hanging up in my home and some pride wallpapers and i kinda like cats plants and rocks

19. Does the word "queer" fit you, do you use it for yourself?

yea i think it really does and i do use it as a umbrella term meaning im part of the lgbtq+ community and bc i havent found a right label that completely fits me yet sexuality wise as well

20. This isn't nonbinary related, I just think it's a cool question. If you could go to any concert of any band, artist, performer, living or dead, what's the lineup?

probably gay/indie music so like

girl in red,hayley kiyoko,cavetown,dodie,jessiepaege

cant think of more artists rn oop

#lgbtq #nonbinary #queer #nb #enby #Youtube

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wetwareproblem · 6 years

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like... what part of "it's not transphobic to not be attracted to trans people" is transmisogynistic to you? what part of "you need dysphoria to be trans and anyone who doesn't have dysphoria isn't trans" (truscum ideology) is transmisogynistic to you?

Okay, let me break this down for you:

1. The entire “not being attracted to trans people” line? It comes from and is advanced by TERFs. In particular, there’s some very specific wording patterns and tactics that show that origin, because they’re entirely unaltered from the actual-literal-TERF version: The constant shift to making it about the speaker in particular and portraying them as greedy or demanding, making it about how they “don’t wanna date you.” Except... it wasn’t about me. It was never about me. I might be greedy, but for fuck’s sake I have six partners! I’m polysaturated! I never indicated that it was about me in the slightest!

The entire point of this shift is to take it away from the actual societal structural problem, and make it about that greedy trans woman who demands that you date her and fuck her or else you’re a transmisogynist. Zero points for guessing where exactly this caricature comes from, because if you pay attention I just told you.

2. It is about a societal structural problem: Trans women, like a number of marginalized groups, are simultaneously hypersexualized and desexualized by western society. We’re sex objects who exist solely to titillate - but don’t be caught being titillated by us, because everybody knows we’re disgusting and ugly and unfuckable. Expressing our sexuality comes with a significant risk of violence and, for TWOC, murder. Refusing us our own sexual agency, while at the same time rendering us down into sex objects for cis consumption, is oppression. Oppression aimed at trans women in particular is transmisogyny.

3. Trans people, and trans women in particular, are incredibly diverse. We’re all over the world, in every shape and colour you can think of. Literally the only trait that all of us share is that we are trans. So... the only reason you can be ruling us out as a category is because we’re trans. Saying that an entire group of marginalized people is undesirable because of their marginalization is, in fact, bigoted as fuck. Most of tumblr seems to understand that putting “no rice, no beans” in your Grindr profile is fucking racist; why, then, would it not be transmisogynist to say “no trans women, cis women ok?”

(Hint: You’re about to respond with a stereotype that is demonstrably not true of trans women as a category. Don’t do that.)

4. Perhaps you missed the part where the dude in question was literally talking over a trans woman about an oppression she faces but he does not? If this were literally any other combination of “dude who doesn’t experience this oppression” and “marginalized person who does,” would you think it was okay? Because... yeah, that’s an act of active bigotry. What do we call bigotry aimed specifically at trans women again?

5. I’ll end this section on the same question I’ve been asking every time y’all push back on this: Where the fuck do you think all the trans women are? Why exactly do you think we’re not interested in your movement, if it’s so very safe and I’m making all of this up?

(Hint: Trans women are clearly seeing something that makes them want to steer clear. You may want to ask what that is.)

As to the dysphoria part... you’re gonna have to show me where I said that was transmisogynist. (I mean, believing that would have literally killed me, but that’s still not oppression or bigotry aimed at trans women in particular.) It’s blatantly and wildly wrong, as stated by the people who literally defined gender dysphoria in multiple official documents and confirmed by the world’s leading experts on trans people, as well as the world’s leading cis experts on trans people (since I know cis opinions are so very important to the transmed community). So... yeah. It’s wrong but not in itself transmisogynist.

Are there any other Social Justice 101 topics you need cleared up?

#trans #truscum #transmed #discourse #transmisogyny #WWP: Ashlyn #Anonymous #answers

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genderpunktheo · 5 years

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Hey, this isn't a question or anything, i guess i'm just looking for reassurance or w/e so sorry if this is annoying. but i recently realised i might be enby/genderqueer/fluid, not quite sure on all that lot yet but that's not important, but i don't particularly feel anything w any pronouns, i don't think i rlly have dysphoria at all, the thing i think bothers me most is my name but like it just feels like when smb uses it i don't quite connect it to myself and never liked saying it so that (1/2

(2/2) just feels like quite a tenuous thing to me tbh. and just yeah like i don’t feel like a cis woman and enby feels right but also like there could be other things and idk it’s just a weird nothingness. i never rlly felt like i had to do girly things but i always put that up to being a lesbian ngl. my friend has started calling me sam and it’s super sweet and i love her sm but also it doesn’t feel quite right but idk if that’s because i’m not used to it yet or if it’s because it’s more common

(3/2 sorry) than my name so i already have connotations asso w it when other ppl say it rather than me to myself but also yeah ijdk. i feel a name isn’t enough but i also think i’ve thought abt this way too much than a cis person would even if i still don’t know for sure? idk. sorry for this being so long, thanks for reading it. you sharing your story did rlly help so yeah thanks xx

Hi love ❤❤ You’re not annoying at all don’t worry. I know how tough figuring all this out can be.

So obviously I might be totally wrong about this because no one can know you as well as you know yourself and I’ve only got a few asks to go off of anyway. But it sounds to me like a few things could be going on here.

It could be to do with being a lesbian. I’m no expert but I think it’s quite common for lesbians to feel that disconnect from the social construct of what being a woman is because so much of “being a woman” is centred around what you can do for men.

However… I spent months and months telling myself that I must just be feeling odd about my gender because of my bisexuality so while it is perfectly possible that that is the case for you personally… it also seems like you’ve already given that a lot of thought and still aren’t finding it comfortable.

When you say you don’t have dysphoria… it sounds to me like you experience at least a little bit of social dysphoria, especially connected with your name. It can be hard to tell because the mainstream narrative of dysphoria is all about hating every aspect of your body but that isn’t the case for an awful lot of trans and nonbinary folks.

And then you say that enby feels right even though you don’t think you experience dysphoria. Even if you don’t experience any dysphoria at all you might experience gender euphoria and connect with your gender that way which could explain why you otherwise feel that nothingness. You might be indifferent to your assigned gender and then much happier and more content in being nonbinary and trans.

One thing that might help is experimenting with pronouns if you have safe people to do that with. I asked people to start using they/them for me while I was still identifying as cis to see how it felt and only after I realised how good it felt did I accept that I probably wasn’t cis. There’s no harm with experimenting with multiple pronouns even if you end up deciding they’re not for you or that you’re cis.

Of course, it is also possible to be nonbinary but not consider yourself trans. I know I got shouted at a lot when I identified that way but me eventually changing my mind and realising I was trans had nothing to do with that. A lot of people consider themselves nonbinary because they are not fully their assigned gender but don’t consider themselves trans because they are still partially their assigned gender. That could be something else worth looking into.

I don’t know which of these things, if any of them, will turn out to be the right answer for you. But I hope it at least gives you some idea of paths you can consider. Good luck nonnie ❤

#sap gives advice

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7-oh-ta1 · 3 years

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Soz i came off agressive. I read the tags but i guess it didn't register properly. The first time i wrote the ask i said that "to me" this is what pan and bi is, and i should've kept that. I also originally wrote more stuff, but i thought i didn't want to send an essay and cut it down and ended up soundin like an asshole oof

As for the biphobic roots of panphobia, yeah, it probably is, but i also don't think it's as clear cut as that. As far as i'm aware, the tension between the communities comes from fundamentally misunderstanding the definition of each, while also not aknowledging that the definitions are flexible and change from person to person, resulting in both biphobia and panphobia. Do think about how your definition of your bisexuality, while completely valid, isn't universal. Mine isn't either. The definition of a pansexuality also can change from person to person.

There are more terms than bi and pan, you probably already know this. Polysexuality, omnisexuality, doesn't it all feel like how there are many many identities under the 'nonbinary' umbrella? The differences may be small or subjective, but it matters to people. At the end of the day it's just what feels right for you. Or maybe what flag you liked best.

Idk if i m makin sense man it's 1 am. Sorry for the essay in ur askbox 😔 idk if i made it clear but i'm bi. Also demi, which i think cements the idea that definitions change from person to person, cuz we re like, sorta the same, but think of our orientations differently.

It's okay, thank you for clarifying for me. ^^ I'm sorry for being aggressive as well. People can be really quick to make claims about others without actually knowing what the person is asking on this hellsite so I got aggressive thinking it was that situation and I apologize for that.

I understand what you're saying, in that I 100% agree that the definitions of sexualities are flexible and vary from person to person even within one label, like the two of us. My ignorance is that I don't understand the core idea of pansexuality... for example lesbianism is experienced in many different ways but I have a basic understanding of it as primarily women but also nonbinary people who are attracted to both cis & trans women. But with pansexuality I don't understand the basic idea which is what confuses me and it's never been explained to me in a way I can grasp. It's not anyone's responsibility to educate me in that, but that also means I still don't have a clear understanding.

I definitely should clarify again that I absolutely think that being pan is valid and that the label deserves as much respect as any. Just because I don't have a grasp on what it means doesn't mean that it's any less important and deserving of respect, and I agree too that at the end of the day, all that matters is what makes that person comfortable. I would never ever claim to be in a position where I had the right to tell people what identity they can or can't have. I like to and it makes me happy to understand, but I don't have to understand for it to be a label that I respect. I was only expressing my confusion with it, but it wasn't my intent to slander pansexuality or invalidate it.

I saw the post on a bi pos blog (it was actually just the top post which I felt iffy about but I looked through the notes and the third person added some insight that made me scratch my head and got me reflecting on own experiences) and I wanted to express those thoughts and confusions, especially considering the history of both labels.

Also you're totally making sense don't worry, I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts with me even though it's so late. I hope you get some good rest. 😌

#thank you for being polite with me it's kind of rare when this kind of topic gets discussed and then both parties leaves with bad feelings #asks #➡️ serious stuff #anon speaks #lindsay speaks

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myriaddiscourse · 7 years

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Ever wonder why those w/out gender dysphoria will say they're trans and obsess over it so much? Like I'm cis, so I don't know what GD feels like: but can imagine how debilitating it must be. Being cis, I rarely fuss over my gender unless I have to (as far as health and what not). It just isn't a thing to me. Yet there's all these transtrenders running around freaking out about it. I just don't understand. What do you think? PS- Only referring to trenders, not legitimate transgender people.

I can take a solid good two or three guesses.1) When they started radicalizing everything and claiming people are oppressors, they included trans issues in the mix. It's likely that they demonized being cis SO MUCH, that they were afraid of being ostracized by the community, because according to them, "cis people are all oppressors" and whatnot.2) They could have Munchausen Syndrome. This a disorder where you fake having a mental illness. It's not exactly known what causes the disorder, but it's theorized it could come about from negligence as a child. It's also difficult to diagnose it, since there's so much dishonesty going on and whatnot.Though, judging from the list of symptoms themselves, most trenders may probably not have it. You can read more about it here: http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/munchausen-syndrome and here: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/munchausen-syndrome3) They're just kids looking for attention. I remember being thirteen and faking having bipolar and schizophrenia, because I knew people would react. I'm not sure how much these folk can admit it to themselves, but I knew for the most part I was doing it for attention. Around that time, the main social media platforms I used were Flipnote Hatena (A drawing and animating app on the DSI), and Twitter. I was... Pretty lonely to say the least then. It wasn't always easy making friends for me on either, ESPECIALLY Twitter. I was lucky if I ever actually got any notifications on there. It's still up if you want to see just how bad it was: https://mobile.twitter.com/cplover158629 (And yes, it's creepypasta roleplay.)Yet I hardly never acted this way in real life. I had friends there. I wasn't ignored. I did sometimes, just to make people uncomfortable.So there's no doubt in my mind there some who are doing for attention.. Especially praise. On this website, you're basically an angel if you're trans. At least, as long as you don't disagree with the majority of trans leftists, haha.But I find it very disheartening seeing all these people choosing to be something they shouldn't be. Remember when I faked being mentally ill as a teen? I ended up getting anxiety and depression. It's highly likely that transtrenders are going to fuck up, whether it be developing mental illnesses, trying to transition and getting actual dysphoria, or even end up getting abused by violent transphobes/thrown in the streets.----------------Oh wait! I just remembered of one more possible point:4) They themselves may ACTUALLY have dysphoria, but don't know how to identify it, or just not understand what dysphoria even is. I wouldn't be surprised if many people were with the latter, seeing as to tucutes, dysphoria is just about "hating yourself 24/7" and that "we need to all experience dysphoria the same way", or so they imply, anyways, when it's literally just the amount of discomfort felt when your gender doesn't match your sex. This is because in our minds, we're cis of whatever gender we are. So the brain gets all worked up when it realises that our genitals differ from our gender. A man should not have a vagina, and vise versa. Either way, I also wouldn't be too surprised if a self proclaimed "non dysphoric" trans person transitioned and turned out fine, because that means they had it all along. However, it's very alarming by the amount of people who transition, get misdiagnosed, and end up having to detransition. That's certainly a good way to make TERFs, haha.In any case, I find it VERRRRY interesting how I have not seen any actual reasoning for a tucute defending non dysphorics. All I've seen is "They are because they are" or because "gender is a feeling"

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