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#and i am not even remotely kidding
apathyfairy · 2 months
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last year i found a wii at goodwill for 25 dollars and it came with everything except a wiimote but it was in such good condition i was like hell yeah ill take it how hard can it be to find a wiimote. the answer is it's nearly impossible to find them at thrift stores now so i've spent like 8 months looking for ones in thrift stores but there wasn't a single one and then online but i just couldn't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on one single wiimote so i waited so. patiently. and then 2 weeks ago i finally found one at goodwill for 9 dollars but it was absolutely disgusting and the battery cover was missing and the compartment was all corroded so i put it back and regretted it the whole week but then this last weekend i went to savers and there was an absolutely perfect wiimote just sitting there with no corrosion and a jacket and the wrist strap and motion plus and the nunchuck was there too and i got it all for 10 dollars so the moral of the story is that sometimes things seem right for you in the moment but you have to recognize that they aren't and leave them behind so the things that are meant for you will in fact find you when the time is right. peace and love <3
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latinashepard · 9 months
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election day tomorrow
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victimized-martyr · 2 years
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stole this from basu on twt bc 🙌🏼 preaaachh
#kyman#south park#i also am in love with the absolute denial he was in during PC#craziest shit I’ve ever seen#Kyle deadass saw eric’s wedding ring. and wife. and KIDS#and was like ‘no. 🧍‍♂️ fake news’#kyle heard cartman havin sex?? he doesn’t tell them to stop bc it’s rude. he tells eric’s wife ‘hey ur husband gave me aids’ and DOESNT#CLARIFY SHIT and bro doesn’t realize the fucking implications#Kyle getting worked up over heiman NOT for her sake. but eric’s#’in a way wE’rE aLl gOiNg oUt wiTh cArTmAn’ what the FUCK does that mean kyle#kyle’s stupid little ‘Hey heidi so I know you and cartman have an anniversary comin up’ (I. no words.) c#‘some of us don’t think cartman’s qualified to be with you. what do you find in him that’s remotely REDEEMING’#motherfucker didn’t even ask why she liked him. asks what’s ‘redeeming ‘ abt him. kyle I know wanting to redeem cartman is Your Thing but#jesus dude let heidi speak for herself#don’t get me started when the girls were like ‘do u like heidi?’ and kyle had a mental breakdown (he’s always known when he Likes a Girl.#wtf why was he so torn up abt it.)#also Kyle ‘I hate Cartman let’s exclude him from building boats’ Brofloski goin ‘awww cartman i’m sorry’ as soon as#Cartman gets emo abt the ‘surgery’ and is the first to include him in boat building#AND THEN proceeds to be on top of eric abt the quality of boats?? when no one else cares? not even BUTTERS? y does he care so much??#weirdo. fuckin weirdo fr
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moki-dokie · 3 months
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how to make 19 year old boy who came of age during the pandemic and never had a real real job before now realize he needs to Chill The Fuck Out and be Less eagar about working for free holy shit he is impossible to wrangle
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rithmeres · 1 year
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hey besties. how on EARTH is one supposed to relocate and find a new job at the same time
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yeonban · 8 months
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HEIZOU'S BIRTHDAY GIFTS! (We're pretending I answered on time)
@destinywoven asked: It took a little detective work of his own to discover when Heizou’s birthday fell. Perhaps he would have told Cyno if he’d asked, but that would have ruined the fun. And the surprise.
By pulling more than his fair share of very difficult strings that involved weeks of negotiations, bartering and a little bit of intimidation, Cyno has managed to secure something special; a Matra-approved detective licence. Though he would have to liaise with the Matra (something Cyno would, naturally, see to personally), with this licence in hand, Heizou would be free to conduct and pursue cases in Sumeru whenever he saw fit. This, of course, included permanent access to accommodation whenever he visited the nation, all expenses covered by the General Mahamatra himself.
All that’s left is to deliver the somewhat ambitious gift.
Nervousness is not an emotion Cyno experiences frequently, but he feels the stirrings of it now as he stands stiffly at the edge of the dock overlooking the newly arrived ship from Inazuma, his gift hidden away in an envelope behind his back. For a brief moment, Cyno contemplates stuffing the envelope back into his satchel and pretending nothing had happened. What if it’s too much? Too presumptuous? Is he overstepping a line that should not be crossed? All those questions and more swirl inside his head, but are soon silenced as he spots Heizou jogging down the gangplank.
Just the sight of him is enough to quell the restless storm within him; he’ll follow through with his plan, no matter the consequences. His decision made, Cyno relaxes his shoulders, lips curling into a small smile as he takes a short step towards his partner. 
“ Aboat time you washed into shore, ” He delivers the poor pun (he’s saving his best for later) with a straight face, drawing his arm from behind his back to hold out the envelope to Heizou. “ For you. Happy birthday. ”
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The journey from Inazuma to Sumeru remains surreal to someone as unused to the sight of the ocean entirely encompassing his surroundings as Heizou is even after the dozenth time partaking in it - the endless blue offering him a sense of peace (there are no constraints in the middle of nowhere, no fatal dangers, no murderous creatures, no whimsical lightning strikes to be cautious of) but there is also far too much idle time on his hands to spend within the confines of his mind, faced with naught but the low murmur of the passing waves and the widespread freedom to think of anything and everything without worry of interruption.
Typically, the silence aids in Heizou's endeavors of planning the key points of his trip or cracking ancient yet unsolved cases as a side hobby, but today the silence feels beyond lonely, suffocating rather, as though the detective has found himself underneath the waves rather than above them. It's a common occurrence for his mood to drop as soon as his birthday rolls around, particularly so when he cannot find relief in hiding behind orchestrated distractions to pass the time until his birthday is no more, and a part of him wonders whether it'd have been for the better to schedule this trip for another time, or whether it'd have been simpler on him to extend an offer to someone to join him on the trip.
A hollow laugh escapes at the idea, one hand reaching to touch the stanchion while the redhead gazes towards the horizon. Neither could've worked, for Sara has granted him time off with his special day in mind (an awfully sensible thing of her to do, and frankly Heizou isn't sure how to feel about it) and there isn't anyone he wishes to bother with a request as inane as "spend some time with me" when everyone he knows is leading busy lives that could do without his extra interference. Kazuha isn't there anyway, and Shinobu is busy with interviews... nevermind his family. When was the last time he has even seen any of them, other than his cousin? When was the last time they had even cared to spend his birthday with him, or to gift him anything that wasn't meant for his future as the dojo's owner?
A fleeting pang of his heart ensues at the rather pathetic realization (there is no one else he can deem a friend in the land he's lived all his life, nor do his blood ties care about his existence beyond their own reputation), but an abrupt & rough inhale of air followed by a longwinded exhale (a tested & tried method) breaks the detective out of the depressive slope he may have otherwise found himself sliding down on, and Heizou attempts to refocus his attention onto something better suited for his precious time than brooding. That isn't like him, after all (he never allows it to be).
Although with far more effort than usually required, the hours-long voyage ends without a hitch. Little progress has been made in any of the cases he's tried to piece together along the way, and his mental state hasn't quite recovered from what it has been like ever since the day has started, but resiliently as ever, Heizou finds himself determined to banish the lows and concentrate on the highs as the brief turbulence heralds the ship's arrival in Sumeru. The fact alone seems to brighten the detective's spirits by a smidgen, both as a promise to soon meet with his dear friend, and as a welcoming of distractions sure to come in the shape of the city's hustle and bustle.
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Perhaps the sudden wave of excitement at the prospect is what brings some spring to Heizou's steps, but he grows slightly more energized than he'd been until that point, vibrantly making his way onto the docks. It certainly helps that an overly familiar head of white hair also pops into view as soon as he glances in Sumeru's direction, and Heizou cannot help the fond chuckle that escapes him at both at the sight itself and at the very much expected pun that greets him. He's heard better ones before, but Cyno's expressionless way of uttering every joke never fails to bring a smile onto his face, nor does the other's mere presence ever fail to uplift his mood.
It's such a simple thing, and yet Heizou already feels much better than he has all day. ❛ I was wondering what joke you'd be starting today off with. If only my friends from back home knew I have the privilege of hearing puns like these every time I visit Sumeru, they'd be envious for shore. ❜ A warmer smile stretches on his features after replying in kind (a habit he may well fall into in Inazuma too if left unchecked) and for a moment Heizou contemplates opening his mouth again, to either talk about his trip or to inquire about where his accommodations are this time around, or perhaps even to invite Cyno for lunch.
However, the unexpected birthday wish that leaves Cyno's mouth next knocks the air out of Heizou's lungs, his cheerful persona breaking apart for a fleeting moment while his smile subconsciously wavers and his eyes widen in response. There are many emotions swirling through him all at once (shock, confusion, disbelief), plenty of which must have made their way onto the surface as well, and even though verdants manage to glance down at the gift and understand that he isn't imagining it, the redhead remains at a loss (for words, and for what to think of any of this). ❛ ......You... ❜ -knew? ❛ I... ❜ -don't believe I've ever told you when my birthday is.
The lack of cohesion in any of his attempts to speak prompts Heizou to not speak at all, the temporary silence growing fairly awkward while he works on gluing himself back together into a more presentable self. It's with great effort that he manages to smile brightly again (although this time around it tethers on the falser side than the genuine one he'd worn before), brushing off his initial reaction to the gift as simply being shocked by the surprise rather than owning a deep distaste for his birthday & a heavy unfamiliarity to being thought of in such a manner.
How is he meant to readily accept this as reality when no one else has ever put nearly as much effort into celebrating his birthday in all the years he can remember? ❛ You sure know how to leave a man speechless, Cyno. ❜ A laugh, practiced enough to not sound as broken as he feels, and Heizou gracefully extends a hand to welcome and accept the gift. ❛ Do you mind if I open it now, or should I leave it for later? ❜ His tone is upbeat, a stark contrast to the brief accident from moments prior.
Ever so slowly, curiosity peeks its way onto the fray, driving the detective to want to know what gift the other could've spent his resources on with him in mind - though truth be told, Heizou considers himself unable to be disappointed even if nothing but a single coupon lies inside the envelope (the thought alone... the endeavor of finding out when his birthday is in spite of his never mentioning it... the act of gifting him something, anything - that is more than enough for him to forever be grateful to Cyno for).
Heizou's gaze is attentive to every detail on Cyno's face as he waits for an affirmation or a denial to his subtle request (not wishing to impose - especially not now after forcing his friend to watch the sorry sight that constituted his initial reaction to a gift even existing in the first place) and only once he receives the okay for it does he deftly open the envelope, eyes carefully reading the words written on the license he finds inside.
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For a second time, Heizou's eyes widen as he forgos the act of breathing entirely, certain that he must be reading something wrong, or failing to pick up on something between the lines. More conscientiously than before, he blinks and rereads it from the top to the bottom, diligently making sure not to gloss over a single word - and yet the result is the same as it had been the first time. The "detective license" words seem to stare back at him alongside the nation the license has been issued by & for, and this is one of the few times in his life that Heizou can attest to an out of body sensation (the first one ever when the occasion that prompted it is happy rather than tragic). "Shikanoin Heizou"... a detective license meant for him, in a nation that he has done little to deserve something this grand? Not to mention how hard it is to obtain one even after proving one's worth---
Inhaling just enough air to keep his body from ceasing to function, Heizou's gaze lifts to stare into Cyno's eyes in a silent query, a plea to tell him now if he's misunderstanding something or interpreting this poorly, but no such negative answer comes, and the reality of it all suddenly hits Heizou akin to a wave hitting a capsizing ship in a stormy night. But this is no stormy night, it's the brightest day he can recall on ever having; and this is no drowning feeling as much as it is the feeling of finally breathing again after having previously been submerged. He opens his mouth to say something - a thank you to express his gratitude, a question from the myriad that are circling in his mind, an anything that might escape him in reply really, but a salty taste finds itself on his tongue, and only after glancing down at the odd drop of water on the license does Heizou realize he's crying.
A low gasp accompanies his realization and the redhead has half a mind to wipe his tears on the back of his hand and try to regain his composure before thanking & reassuring Cyno that these are happy tears rather than sad ones, but instead he glances at his friend again, and the worried expression he's met with only warms his heart further, softening and making it beat even faster than before (to think that Cyno is worrying about him now... even though he's been nothing but a rude mess in the face of a heartfelt gift the other must've been through hellish trials to obtain... it feels almost wrong of him to be as happy about it as he is).
Perhaps he should follow his usual, trusty logic, but the overflow of emotions has even Teyvat's best detective beat - and Heizou can't stop himself from almost jumping into Cyno's arms, tightly embracing him in an attempt to convey how he feels in a way that words could never manage. ❛ Thank you, Cyno... really... I love it. ❜ Is all he manages to shakily let out against Cyno's skin amid the tears (and he'll have to apologize for those too, once he'll catch his breath) but the soft giggle that follows and the grip he has on the other (which spares not even the air that could've separated their bodies) speak enough about Heizou's mood on their own that they'll hopefully ease the anxious tension his friend must feel by even a bit.
The port is generally busy enough to not warrant just anyone a glance, but this particular sight might be an exception to the unspoken rule - after all, when would anyone ever be able to say they've seen someone (a foreigner, no less) happily embracing the General Mahamatra himself, and being met with no punishment for it, ever again? For once, though, Heizou doesn't care to pay potential bystanders any mind, instead focusing every bit of his attention onto the calming scent of Cyno's hair and the coming to terms he has to do with his newfound circumstances.
❛ You really outdid yourself... ❜ A soft whisper, only for the two of them to hear, much like the rest of Heizou's words. ❛ How did you know it's my birthday today...? And how- how did you manage to issue a detective license for me? I know what I went through to get one back in Inazuma, and that's the place I was born... so I know it couldn't have been easy for you to obtain it... ❜ An acknowledgement Cyno most definitely deserves for everything he's done, and although Heizou has managed to somewhat comprehend this situation, he still cannot believe anyone would go this far for him (of their own volition too).
And for his birthday no less, the one day that has given him more anxiety over the years than even the worst of the cases he's worked on. What a deeply ironic thing, to watch the day he's disliked the most now prove to also be his happiest... His heart steadily tempers as he slightly shifts his head to rest his cheek on Cyno's shoulder, making no move to put distance between them (though allowing Cyno to easily do so if desired), and Heizou glances up at the other with a small, authentic smile, awaiting an answer while remaining partly deep in his own thoughts.
Come to think of it... this is the first honest gift he's received that has even a smidgen to do with his own interests rather than the giver's... isn't it?
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#muse: shikanoin heizou.#destinywoven#* shikanoin heizou. / ic.#THYME I AM EATING MY FIST AS WE SPEAK I CANNOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT BELIEVE EITHER OF THEM#Cyno is The sweetest person in the whole universe. no ifs no buts he's THE!!!!!!!!!!! person ever#Him being anxious about whether to give Heizou the gift or not bc he might be overstepping his boundaries if he does...#ONLY FOR HEIZOU TO HAVE THE WORST FIRST REACTION EVER TOO FHSUDSFFJSF Heizou: so shocked that he got to the shadow realm#No bc this took him SO by surprise HE'S NEVER BEEN IN A SITUATION EVEN REMOTELY SIMILAR TO THIS ONE#The sheer shock that Cyno knows when his bday is... the fact that he prepared a GIFT for him on top of it... /when Heizou didn't prompt it/#Shikanoin ''I know other than a genius detective; everyone sees me as a burden'' Heizou: .exe has stopped working.#Also me realizing midway thru that most of his gifts were either not related to him at all (aka his family imposing their wills on him)#or gotten through dishonest means which soured everything (aka his former friend stealing things to gift them to him as kids)...#most of his bday gifts whenever Shinobu or Kazuha were around for his bday were probably meals or new cases they heard about too...#(WHICH HE DOES LOVE but they're not exactly palpable things and they knew about his bday /from/ him so to him they might've felt obligated)#hence Cyno breaking the door and coming in w a DETECTIVE LICENSE made every braincell in Heizou's body stop for maintenance#Sorry to Cyno I bet he must've expected an Entirely different reaction and yet here he is with a sobbing Heizou in his arms ADGHASDSADHSA#THAT SAID HE DEFINITELY ACHIEVED HIS GOAL OF MAKING HEIZOU HAPPY!!!!!!!! Heizou's first /actually/ happy birthday ever I'm going to CRY#He was satisfied w just spending his bday w Cyno bc he's always in a good mood around him but he got So Much More than that...#How are they such an effortlessly perfect match mY HEART...........
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katnissgirlsmakedo · 26 days
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who can we blame for the fandomification of the song soldier poet king. i’d like to blame bbc merlin fans but i recognize that’s me being a biased hater. anyway. whoever’s to blame should be hanged in the town square or something this shit is so annoying fr
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y’all, lemme tell you something about my rarepair, my absolute number one OTP, the ship i will go down with, my i-would-die-for-them even now, 24 days into the year of our lord 2023.
it’s not even about the show, and it hasn’t been for like 20 years now. it’s about the all-encompassing chokehold that two of the characters from this show have had on me since i was about 13 years old. that’s when it started and it hasn’t let me go. better than that, the pairing itself is a complete fabrication, totally built up inside my head and fleshed out by years and years of over-analyzation and inventing things that, objectively, are not there. the maintext of it all is pretty clear but i have a special knack for pulling anything and everything i want out of the subtext. i see what i want to see and i live happily in my little state of delusion.
here’s the kicker: when i say the maintext is clear, i mean it. these characters were not, in any way or by any stretch of the imagination, written with the intention to give off romantic vibes. truly, they weren’t. this show, in all its cheesy (and arguably cringey) glory, was one of the highest rated family-friendly, positivity-focused shows of the 90s. it was the height of the “clean, uplifting, and inspirational” era of network television, with very strong christian undertones.
the show? touched by an angel. the characters?
these two.
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yes, these two. characters with one very clear purpose, which is to be on earth to help human beings and spread the message of gods love to the world.
pairing them???? absolutely asinine of me, and yet … here i am, still burning in this fire years and years later. i would die for them. specifically, i would die for my version of them. and i probably will not ever be able to fully explain my adoration or remember what it was that triggered this shift in my young brain or what made me say, “yes, this is what we’re doing now. this is where we live.”
i don’t use the word chokehold lightly. i can spend hours watching bits and pieces of scenes, re-analyzing dialogue, and spilling my thoughts and theories to the one friend i have that also shares this mildly humiliating addiction. thank god for her and thank god for the far corners of the internet. i have written (and read) some very -ahem- unholy fic. and i’ll keep doing it kids. this is a forever kind of thing.
this post is a confession but it’s also a plea for more friends. me and my one friend, we can’t be the only ones out there, right? i know there are others because our fanfic stats tell me so. i see you. i know you’re there. step into the light and be my friend, i beg.
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kiwigallicorn · 8 months
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I just saw a TikTok where someone's little tiny daughter just told her mom she wants to have "girl dinner" for dinner and the caption says the dad is the one who taught his daughter the term "girl dinner" and I'm fucking horrified please don't tell your child not eating enough or eating a snack can be called a dinner (dinner is supposed to be an entire meal!!) even if you say "but now is not the time for girl dinner, it's time for dinner dinner" please for the love of fuck don't get it into your kid's head for even a moment the idea that only a small amount of food can be called dinner or that when a girl eats dinner it's a snack quantity of food I know that's not the intention here but I am so sick of the term "girl dinner" even jokingly spreading the idea that girls just don't eat a lot of food I swear to God at least one girl is going to hear that and take it to heart at least one girl is going to hear that and think of herself at least subconsciously as overeating when she eats a normal amount of fucking food for a meal at least one girl is going to hear that and develop an eating disorder or something I HATE THE TERM "GIRL DINNER" SO FUCKING MUCH DONT TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT TERM PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK
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captainfightingflower · 9 months
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Y’know, when i get really really mad: i hit myself to try and calm down or “snap me out of it” and focus on the pain.
Currently, i’ve done this so often that i get genuinely dizzy. I know it’s bad because i almost knocked my lights out one time! Everything is making me so angry, and i would probably be doing it any other way if i was allowed to express any strong emotions in my household without getting in trouble.
I can’t wait to move out so i can buy soundproofing for my walls and scream my head off into a jar like that one Vine. I’m fucking losing it over here!!!
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florensicz · 1 year
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returning to tumblr has made me realise that in fact i feel as if the b99 fandom may be more deceased than i thought like. where did you guys go. where are you. stop being in hiding and converse with me about silly detectives. i BEG.
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death-and-ruin · 3 months
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guess who's feeling better for the first time in almost 3 years!! after doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong!!!
and all it took was a food supplement. anyway this has been on my mind the whole past week
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out of all the possible options that I was starting to consider - depression, anxiety, burnout - I would not have thought "food supplement for people with heart arrhythmia" would make my symptoms go away
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whimsycore · 11 months
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The older I get the more I realize my imposter syndrome comes from my bio parents forcing me to be something they’re not. They simply don’t identify as what they wanted their children to be. I realize the older I get you’re supposed to learn your culture/religion from your family. I learned from being in a mosque/the internet meeting random Muslims for the sole purpose of having Muslim friends and on a lesser level a community.
It’s taken me years to say this because I’ve had this uneasy feeling in me for awhile. It’s hard to say it because if THEY aren’t XYZ what am I?
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mothheart · 1 year
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Does anyone actually enjoy the platforming in elden ring. It feels so poorly designed and ESPECIALLY getting to the frenzied flame proscription feels like a fucking troll
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jesterjamz · 2 years
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also some misc. doodles of the others lol
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