i cant get over the ball being so CLEARLY all for crowley i can't get over aziraphale trying to woo him with a WHOLE FUCKING BALL because that's what he knows that's what romance IS for him because he's been wanting to dance with crowley ever since dancing was invented and he's so stuck in time with the way he dresses and talks and he still thinks a dance is the high of romance AND HE MADE A WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING BALL FOR CROWLEY JUST SO HE COULD DANCE WITH HIM like now it's so fucking obvious he gave away his BOOKS without a second thought and it was all for crowley he organised a whole JANE AUSTEN THEME BALL just so he could have an excuse to finally dance with the love of his life and i can't get over this i'm shaking my fists and pacing up and down he did not give a single fuck about anything other than dancing with crowley and HE BARELY TOUCHED OTHER PEOPLE'S HANDS WHILE HIS WHOLE FUCKING PALM WAS PRESSED TO CROWLEY'S AND i need to lie down
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guess who 😈
and I have this art with beta—
I also have a lot of sketches that I hope to finish in the near future (don't pay attention to the fact that there're a lot of Howdy here....)
(hum)beta!Wally (eechy pspsps 🫴)
I don't know what else to show you, so I'll show you (the old ones) art for my mutual :]
Margo for @//thelone-copper ; (I don't know his name 😔🥄🥄🥄) for @//dxkjf
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*john mulaney voice* the youtubers listened to the fans and genuinely apologized?.... i didnt know they knew how to do that
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I need to talk about Charles Rowland and his love for Edwin Payne.
Charles saying he can't say he's in love with Edwin back doesn't mean he isn't in love with Edwin, and it doesn't mean he doesn't love Edwin in the same way that Edwin loves him.
He is just saying he needs to work out what he does feel.
Charles died when he was 16. He's still a child. Nobody at 16 knows what it means to be in love.
And, on top of that, he grew up in an abusive household with a warped understanding of what love means. His dad was abusive to his mum, so he wouldn't understand what being "in love" is compared to someone that grew up within a stable household. He's never had the time to unpack what that means about his ability to love. He's worried that he might end up like his dad, and he absolutely would never want to hurt Edwin like his dad hurts his mum.
Charles has a lot of confusion about love. He loves his mum, he knows that, and he loves his dad, despite everything he put him and his mum through.
And, on top of all of this, he grew up during a difficult period in history. He was a teenager in Britain in the 80's. The 80's were a notoriously homophobic period of time, and I'm not saying that Charles is dealing with internalised homophobia but growing up during a period of time where the homophobic rhetoric was rife would have an impact on anyone. Especially a confused 16 year old boy who didn't know much kindness in life.
Charles knows he loves Edwin more than anything and anyone else in his life, and he knows the love he feels for him is different to the love he feels for his mum. He just doesn't know whether what he feels for Edwin constitutes as being "in love" with him.
And he needs time to figure that out. That's what he is telling Edwin: he's telling him that he is the most important person in the world to him and that he does love him but he needs to work out what that means. And Edwin completely understands that because Charles put it so eloquently and in a way that Edwin could understand. This isn't the usual unreciprocated love trope. They are each other's person, and they're trying to navigate what that means for each of them.
Overall, Charles loves Edwin and Edwin loves Charles. And they're going to figure out what that means together in time. Because that's what they always do: they figure things out.
Together.
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